Summary

Summary
Sapay Koma begins with the author recounting the exact moment she decided she wants to marry
her boyfriend and student, when he gave her a bowl of papaya blossoms from his mother’s
garden. She saw this as a reference to Manuel Arguilla’s story “How My Brother Brought Home
a Wife”, as both the author and her boyfriend are Ilocanos, and she viewed herself moving to his
remote town of Itogon as similar to the Maria moving to the province to be with Leon. She
further described their relationship as a story that should be perfect, but also saying that this was
also a ‘disaster waiting to happen’.
When they discover that she is pregnant with his child, they decided to get married, still in the
peak of their honeymoon phase of their relationship. Although his parents did not approve of
their relationship, and the time of marriage was against their customs, they were pushed by the
author’s mother. So then they discreetly married, with the bride doing all of the wedding plans
and grunt work, paying for everything. She even says that it was like a Do-It-Yourself. Still, even
during the ceremony, their marriage was a rough process, leading her to believe they were bad
omens of what is to come.
Initially, she couldn’t move in with her husband to avoid rumors among the neighbors about
them having a shotgun wedding. She claimed she was fine with this, as she thought they didn’t
need his family’s approval of them to be happy. When she gave birth, they decided to move her
into his main household, thinking everything will be smooth as she has their grandchild. She also
brought her pet dog, Sapay Koma, which is Ilocano for “sana” or “wish”, but had to put him
down because he and the other dogs in the house kept making a racket. Her husband and his
friends decided to cook him, as it was normal in their culture, and everyone including her ate the
meat. She described her loyal friend’s death as also the death of her wishes.
When they have conceived another child accidentally, the couple took it as a sign from God that
they should keep trying to save their marriage.
The author had a hard time adjusting to Igorot culture. In one instance, her family ate all of her
bread, since for them “everything belongs to the community”, and no one liked it when she wrote
her name on her next bag of bread. Furthermore, she has a strained relationship with the rest of
his family, and they would not acknowledge her as their son’s wife to the other members of their
community. Though, she claimed that she accepted this, the author is hurt that she and her
husband’s wedding picture was not part of his mother’s collection of her children’s wedding
pictures on her wall. The last straw was when she realized that the ‘Wedding Wall’, became what
she called “Our Children and their Acceptable Spouses”, and her family was not in it. Enraged,
she demanded her husband to confront his parents, which he did by writing them a letter, which
helped them make amends.
However, even then their marriage was falling apart, as they each have their own issues and
constantly fought. They finally realized that they can’t work their relationship out anymore, and
decided to get a divorce. The author took both of her children and moved to Davao City, as it
was called “the promised land”. She said their first Christmas in Davao was liberating, as there
are no other family members present to buy gifts for except for her kids. She attempted to make
paella for their noche buena, but she found it difficult and she broke down, finally feeling the
weight of everything that has happened that had brought her there. She immediately collected
herself when she realized her kids are not crying and went back to her work. She noted the paella
was satisfactory, though she is thinking of just ordering take out next year.
The author lastly says that everyone has some sort of regret, or a wish to do things differently,
but it really takes less energy to wish it forward. She ends her story with a line in Ilocano Sapay
koma naimbag ti biag yo dita which means “to hope that your life there is good”.

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