Real Men Don't Cry
Real Men Don't Cry
Real Men Don't Cry
This is a phrase we hear almost every single day regardless of our gender. It is
usually told to boys or men whenever they feel sad or hurt. It teaches boys that a
“real” man would not display his emotions so openly and doing so makes him weak.
This viewpoint is only the tip of the iceberg which dictates conventional and harmful
gender norms to young children in the form of simple statements, which have
become so normalised that it is hard for many people to recognize them in daily
conversations. This particular statement goes back to many generations across
almost all cultures as it spreads a damaging message to boys regarding the validity
of their emotions.
Boys who grow up hearing such statements end up with a highly inaccurate view of
masculinity and a lack of healthy coping mechanisms. If a boy ever encounters any
stress or difficulty at any point of his life he would find it hard to, or would be unable
to, reach out to get help as he is conditioned to believe that a man must stay strong
in all situations and never show weakness. This is a major reason why suicide rates
and depression for men is higher but is not spoken about in many communities. Men
also become emotionally stunted because of their inability to identify and process
negative thoughts and emotions. Not only do they internalise misogynistic
stereotypes, they also pass them down to the next generation.
All of these effects point to a greater problem, which is toxic masculinity. Boys grow
up with a fixed mindset which focuses mainly on trying to prove their masculinity by
acting on false stereotypes, which ultimately end up spoiling their ability to bond and
create meaningful relationships. Toxic statements which promote the ideal of a “real
man” choose to ignore the importance of the vulnerability people need to get a
deeper understanding of themselves and others.
As the people of our society become more educated, there is a greater importance
given to psychology and feminism. We have started learning about mental health
and therapy on a much deeper level and have started talking about healthy ways of
coping with heavy emotions and expressing our feelings. Not only that, we are
working towards a society which is open to people expressing their masculinity and
femininity in different ways. More men are starting to open up about their
experiences while growing up with such harmful statements. These statements
which promote toxic masculinity are now being dropped by many people and boys
are being comforted, rather than being criticized, whenever they feel like crying.