How To Get Along With Everyone Who Is Not Me Denise Ryan

How to Get Along with Everyone
Who Isn’t Me
Presented for
By Denise Ryan, MBA, CSP
Post Office Box 31692, Raleigh, N.C. 27622

E -mail [email protected] Phone (919) 788-
788-0291
Web site www.firestarspeaking.com
Like me on Facebook—
Facebook—Denise Ryan FireStar Speaking
Communication Challenges
Emotions
Technology
Lack of focus, attention
Assumptions
Impatience
Knowledge gap with non-CPAs
Generation differences
Cultural/language barriers
Communication style differences

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Communication Styles Quiz
This is an informal survey, designed to determine how you usually act in everyday
situaons.
On the answer sheet, circle A or B in each pair of statements below, whichever best describes
you most of the me.
1. A) I’m usually open to ge"ng to know people personally and establishing

relaonships with them.
B) I’m not usually open to ge"ng to know people personally and establishing
relaonships with them.
2. A) I usually react slowly and deliberately.

B) I usually react quickly and spontaneously.
3. A) I’m usually guarded about other people’s use of my me.

B) I’m usually open to other people’s use of my me.
4. A) I usually introduce myself at social gatherings.

B) I usually wait for others to introduce themselves to me at social gatherings.
5. A) I usually focus my conversaons on the interests of the people involved,

even if that means straying from the business or subject at hand.
B) I usually focus my conversaons on the tasks, issues, business, or subject
at hand.
6. A) I’m usually not asserve, and I can be paent with a slow pace.
B) I’m usually asserve, and at mes I can be impaent with a slow pace.
7. A) I usually make decisions based on facts or evidence.

B) I usually make decisions based on feelings, experiences or relaonships.
8. A) I usually contribute frequently to group conversaons.

B) I usually contribute infrequently to group conversaons.

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9. A) I usually prefer to work with and through others, providing support when
possible.
B) I usually prefer to work independently or dictate the condions in terms
of how others are involved.
10. A) I usually ask quesons or speak tentavely and indirectly.

B) I usually make emphac statements or directly expressed opinions.
11. A) I usually focus primarily on ideas, concepts, or results.

B) I usually focus primarily on persons, interacons, and feelings.
12. A) I usually use gestures, facial expression, and voice intonaons to

emphasize points.
B) I usually do not use gestures, facial expressions, and voice intonaons to
emphasize points.
13. A) I usually accept others’ points of view (ideas, feelings, and concerns).
B) I usually don’t accept others’ points of view (ideas, feelings, and
concerns).
14. A) I usually respond to risk and change in a cauous or predictable manner.

B) I usually respond to risk and change in dynamic or unpredictable manner.
15. A) I usually prefer to keep personal feelings and thoughts private, sharing
only when I wish to do so.
B) I usually find it natural and easy to share and discuss my feelings with
others.
16. A) I usually seek out new or different experiences and situaons.

B) I usually choose known or similar situaons and relaonships.
17. A) I’m usually responsive to others’ agendas, interests, and concerns.

B) I’m usually directed toward my own agendas, interests and concerns.
18. A) I usually respond to conflict slowly and indirectly.

B) I usually respond to conflict quickly and directly.

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Please transfer your answers to this page. For example, if you circled A for
Queson 1, you will circle 1A. If you circled B, you would circle 1B.
ANSWER SHEET
O G D I
1A 1B 2B 2A
3B 3A 4A 4B
5A 5B 6B 6A
7B 7A 8A 8B
9A 9B 10B 10A
11B 11A 12A 12B
13A 13B 14B 14A
15B 15A 16A 16B
17A 17B 18B 18A
TOTALS _____ _____ _____ _____
Total the numbers of items circled in each column and write it on the spaces
above.
Now, compare the “O” column with the “G” column and circle the le<er that
has the highest total.
O or G
Then compare the “D” column with the “I” column and circle the le<er that
has the highest total.
D or I

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Who are you?
If you circled the G and D, you tend toward being

a Controller/Director.
Celebrate their acon leadership and honesty

• Commander
• Values ge"ng the job done
• Decisive risk taker
• Good at delegang work to others
• Not shy but private about personal ma<ers; comes on strong in conversaon
• Likes to be where the acon is
• Take charge, enterprising, compeve, efficient approach
• Fearless; no obstacle is too big to tackle
• Results Oriented
If you circled the O and D, you show many

qualies of a Promoter/Socializer.
Celebrate their enthusiasm and joy

• Entertainer
• Values enjoyment and helping others with the same
• Full of ideas and impulsive in trying them
• Wants work to be fun for everyone
• Talkave and open about self; asks others’ opinions; loves to brainstorm
• Flexible; easily bored with roune
• Intuive, creave, spontaneous, flamboyant approach
• Opmist; nothing is beyond hope
• Celebraon Oriented

788-0291
If you circled the O and I, you’re predominantly a
Supporter/Relater.
Celebrate their gentleness and mediaon qualies
• Harmonizer
• Values acceptance and stability in circumstances
• Slow with big decisions; dislikes change
• Builds networks of friends to help do work
• Good listener; mid about voicing contrary opinions;
concerned for others’ feelings
• Easy-going; likes slow, steady pace
• Friendly & sensive; no person is unlovable
• Relaonship Oriented
If you circled the G and I, you have lots of

Analyzer/Thinker characteriscs.
Celebrate their sensivity and depth
• Assessor
• Values accuracy in details & being right
• Plans thoroughly before deciding to act
• Prefers to work alone
• Introverted; quick to think and slow to speak; closed about personal ma<ers
• Highly organized; even plans spontaneity!
• Cauous, logical, thriLy approach
• ThoughMul; no problem is too big to ponder
• Idea Oriented

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How to Get Along with:
Controller/Directors:
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
Promoter/Socializers:
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
Supporter/Relaters:
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
Analyzer/Thinkers:
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

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Unfortunately, there’s only one of you. And a whole lot of
everyone else. Here are some tips:
Try to listen more if you are a Director or a Promoter. Try to talk more if you are a Supporter
or a Thinker.
Keep an open mind. You might not always be right. (I know, it’s a long shot, but….)
Take responsibility for yourself. (You can’t control them—only you.)
Try empathy - they really might be going through something horrible.
Treat others with respect. (The Golden Rule)
Always praise good work – a sincere compliment costs you nothing and goes a long way.
Don’t make promises you can’t keep – be true to your word.
Apologize when you are wrong or hurt someone – it costs you nothing. (Directors – hear me?)
Give other people a break, they may not be as excited, as sweet, as smart, or as perfect as you.
And the day may come when you’re not as excited, as sweet, as smart or as perfect as they are.
Give yourself a break – all you can do is be yourself and do your best. You won’t get along
with everyone, and that’s okay.

788-0291

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How to Get Along with Everyone

By Denise Ryan, MBA, CSP

Post Office Box 31692, Raleigh, N.C. 27622

Communication style differences

Post Office Box 31692, Raleigh, N.C. 27622

1. A) I’m usually open to ge"ng to know people personally and establishing

2. A) I usually react slowly and deliberately.

3. A) I’m usually guarded about other people’s use of my me.

4. A) I usually introduce myself at social gatherings.

5. A) I usually focus my conversaons on the interests of the people involved,

7. A) I usually make decisions based on facts or evidence.

8. A) I usually contribute frequently to group conversaons.

Post Office Box 31692, Raleigh, N.C. 27622

10. A) I usually ask quesons or speak tentavely and indirectly.

11. A) I usually focus primarily on ideas, concepts, or results.

12. A) I usually use gestures, facial expression, and voice intonaons to

14. A) I usually respond to risk and change in a cauous or predictable manner.

16. A) I usually seek out new or diﬀerent experiences and situaons.

17. A) I’m usually responsive to others’ agendas, interests, and concerns.

18. A) I usually respond to conﬂict slowly and indirectly.

Post Office Box 31692, Raleigh, N.C. 27622

TOTALS _____ _____ _____ _____

Post Office Box 31692, Raleigh, N.C. 27622

If you circled the G and D, you tend toward being

Celebrate their acon leadership and honesty

If you circled the O and D, you show many

Celebrate their enthusiasm and joy

Post Office Box 31692, Raleigh, N.C. 27622

If you circled the G and I, you have lots of

Post Office Box 31692, Raleigh, N.C. 27622

Post Office Box 31692, Raleigh, N.C. 27622

Take responsibility for yourself. (You can’t control them—only you.)

Try empathy - they really might be going through something horrible.

Treat others with respect. (The Golden Rule)

Don’t make promises you can’t keep – be true to your word.

Post Office Box 31692, Raleigh, N.C. 27622

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3. A) I’m usually guarded about other people’s use of my me.

5. A) I usually focus my conversaons on the interests of the people involved,

8. A) I usually contribute frequently to group conversaons.

10. A) I usually ask quesons or speak tentavely and indirectly.

12. A) I usually use gestures, facial expression, and voice intonaons to

14. A) I usually respond to risk and change in a cauous or predictable manner.

16. A) I usually seek out new or diﬀerent experiences and situaons.

TOTALS ___ _ _ ___

Celebrate their acon leadership and honesty