1123 Example Candidate Responses Paper 1 For Examination From 2018

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Example Candidate Responses

Paper 1
Cambridge O Level
English Language 1123
For examination from 2018

Version 1.0
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Copyright © UCLES 2018


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is the brand name of the University of Cambridge Local Examinations Syndicate (UCLES), which itself is a department
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UCLES retains the copyright on all its publications. Registered Centres are permitted to copy material from this
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Contents
Introduction .......................................................................................................................................................................4

Task 1 ...............................................................................................................................................................................6
Example Candidate Response – high ...........................................................................................................................6
Example Candidate Response – middle .......................................................................................................................9
Example Candidate Response – low ..........................................................................................................................12

Task 2 .............................................................................................................................................................................15
Example Candidate Response – middle .....................................................................................................................15

Task 3 .............................................................................................................................................................................18
Example Candidate Response – middle .....................................................................................................................18

Task 5 .............................................................................................................................................................................22
Example Candidate Response – high .........................................................................................................................22
Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

Introduction
The main aim of this booklet is to exemplify standards for those teaching Cambridge O Level English 1123, and to
show how different levels of candidates’ performance (high, middle and low) relate to the subject’s curriculum and
assessment objectives.
In this booklet candidate responses have been chosen from June 2018 scripts to exemplify a range of answers.
For each question, the response is annotated with a clear explanation of where and why marks were awarded or
omitted. This is followed by examiner comments on how the answer could have been improved. In this way, it is
possible for you to understand what candidates have done to gain their marks and what they could do to improve their
answers. There is also a list of common mistakes candidates made in their answers for each question.
This document provides illustrative examples of candidate work with examiner commentary. These help teachers
to assess the standard required to achieve marks beyond the guidance of the mark scheme. Therefore, in some
circumstances, such as where exact answers are required, there will not be much comment.
The questions and mark schemes used here are available to download from the School Support Hub.
7KHVH¿OHVDUH

June 2018 Question Paper 12


June 2018 Paper 12 Mark Scheme

3DVWH[DPUHVRXUFHVDQGRWKHUWHDFKHUVXSSRUWPDWHULDOVDUHDYDLODEOHRQWKH6FKRRO6XSSRUW+XE
www.cambridgeinternational.org/support

Cambridge O Level English Language 1123 4


Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1
Example Candidate Responses – Paper 12

Example Candidate Responses – Paper 12

How to use this booklet


Task 1
This booklet goes through the paper one question at a time, showing you the high-, middle- and low-level response for
Task 1
each question. The candidate answers are set in a table. In the left-hand column are the candidate answers, and in
Example
the right-hand column are Candidate
the examiner Response – high
comments. Examiner Comments

Example
ExampleCandidate
CandidateResponse – Task
Response 1, high
– high Examiner
Examinercomments
Comments

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2 Examiner comments are
3 alongside the answers. These
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Answers are by real candidates in exam conditions. explainFDQGLGDWHLQFOXGHVSHUVRQDODV
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where and why marks
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These show you the types of answers for each level. were awarded. This helps you
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Discuss and analyse the answers with your
2 learners in to interpret the standard of
the classroom to improve their skills.3 5 Cambridge exams so you can
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6 their exam technique.
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5 )RUEXOOHWSRLQWRI7DVN
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4 7KHFDQGLGDWHXVHVLPDJHVWR
How the candidate could have improved their
5
answer 6FRQYH\WKHVLWXDWLRQ
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The candidate was able to identify keywords in the text 6 and utilised them as part of the answers. This candidate
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interpreted explicit and implicit information, including the writer’s attitude. The candidate also demonstrated
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understanding of how to write using appropriate language and structure to effectively answer the questions.
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7 RIWKHFDQGLGDWHXVLQJJRRG
This section explains how the 7KHVSHOOLQJLVQHDUO\DOZD\V
6 candidate
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8 DFFXUDWHHYHQZKHQWKHZRUG
have improved each answer. This helps you to
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interpret the standard of Cambridge exams and
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Common8mistakes candidates made in this question YRFDEXODU\

The question asked why the author uses these particular phrases to convey his meaning. Many candidates only
8 )RUEXOOHWSRLQWRI7DVN
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)XO¿OPHQWWKHFDQGLGDWHJLYHV
Therefore, the reponses gained only one mark. VHYHUDODSSURSULDWHVXJJHVWLRQV

Often candidates were not awarded Lists the common mistakes candidates made
marks because theyCambridge
misread OorLevel – English Language (1123) in answering each question. This will help your
6
misinterpreted the questions. learners to avoid these mistakes and give them
the best chance of achieving the available marks.
1123-ECR-Cambridge_O_Level-EngLang-Paper12.indd 6 11/11/2018 20:40

Cambridge O Level – English Language (1123) 6

1123-ECR-Cambridge_O_Level-EngLang-Paper12.indd 6 11
5 Cambridge O Level English Language 1123
Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

Task 1

Example Candidate Response – high Examiner Fomments

1 )RU7DVN)XO¿OPHQWWKH
candidate adds more information
than is required by the question
1 to ensure that the format looks
authentic. In particular, a topic
heading is supplied.

2 The candidate can use


vocabulary which is precise
enough to convey shades of
meaning.
2
3 3 )RU7DVN)XO¿OPHQWWKH
candidate includes personal as
well as general experience, as
4 required by the question.

5 4 The candidate uses images to


convey the situation.
6
5 For bullet point 1 of Task
)XO¿OPHQWWKHFDQGLGDWHKDV
LQGLFDWHGUHDOLVWLFGLI¿FXOWLHV

6 The spelling is nearly always


accurate, even when the word
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LQFOXGHWKHZRUGµEHQH¿FLDO¶

7 ‘minimal’ is another example


of the candidate using good
8 vocabulary.
7

8 For bullet point 2 of Task


)XO¿OPHQWWKHFDQGLGDWHJLYHV
several appropriate suggestions.

Cambridge O Level English Language 1123 6


Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

Example Candidate Response – high, continued Examiner Fomments

9
9 The candidate uses some
variation in sentence structures to
FUHDWHVRPHQDWXUDOÀXHQF\

10 Sentence separation is
10 accurate and the punctuation
generally helpful.

11 )RU7DVN)XO¿OPHQWWKH
11 candidate has addressed bullet
12 point 3.

12 The paragraphs show some


13 evidence of planning, usually
according to the separate bullet
points.

13 )RU7DVN)XO¿OPHQWWKH
candidate at the end includes an
14 appropriate signature to enhance
the format.

14 Overall, the writing is


increasingly accurate with some
slips caused by ambition.

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/DQJXDJHRXWRI

Total mark awarded =


25 out of 30

7 Cambridge O Level English Language 1123


Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

How the candidate could have improved their answer


• $VIDUDV7DVN)XO¿OPHQWZDVFRQFHUQHGWKHUHZDVJRRGXQGHUVWDQGLQJRISXUSRVHVLWXDWLRQDQGDXGLHQFH
as well as an entirely appropriate format. The tone was also appropriate. Although the candidate did well with
GLI¿FXOWLHVDQGVXJJHVWLRQVIRUEXOOHWSRLQWVDQGWKHWKLUGEXOOHWSRLQWZDVDGGUHVVHGUDWKHUWKDQIXOO\DQVZHUHG
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WKHVFKRROKDGEHQH¿WHG$VLWZDVLWUHOLHGRQVD\LQJWKDWWKHVFKRROµZLOOEHDEOHWRFRSH¶DQGHDUOLHULWVDLGWKHUH
would be less expense but a little more detail here would have helped.
• ,Q/DQJXDJHDOWKRXJKWKHVFULSWLPSURYHGDQGPDLQWDLQHGDQDWXUDOÀXHQF\WKHRSHQLQJSDUDJUDSKKDGVOLSV
of agreement (‘Most student’), spelling (‘by’ for ‘buy’) and the use of a non-sentence. The candidate could have
checked these before moving on to Section 2.
• Also, as far as Language was concerned, the candidate needed to vary the vocabulary a little more, particularly
in the opening paragraph. There was too much reliance on the repetition of vocabulary and expression, notably
‘canteen’ and ‘as a result’.
• There was an attempt to vary structures but even more variety of sentence lengths and types would have helped.
The same was true of the punctuation which, although adequate, lacked sophistication. The correct use of, for
example, question marks and semi-colons would have helped.

Cambridge O Level English Language 1123 8


Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

Example Candidate Response – middle Examiner Fomments

1 )RU7DVN)XO¿OPHQWWKHEDVLFV
1 of the format (date, audience and
signature at the end) are provided.

2 The purpose of the writing is


understood and the start of the
2 second paragraph makes the
situation clear.

3 Simple, accurate punctuation


such as the use of the full stop
helps with sentence separation.
3
4 The candidate addresses bullet
point 1 by providing three basic
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4 to the situation set out in the
question.

5 Spelling of a basic vocabulary


5
is usually accurate and the later
words ‘nervous’ and ‘hopefully’ are
more sophisticated words which
have the correct spelling.
6
6 The suggestions given to
address bullet point 2 are sensibly
UHODWHGWRWKHGLI¿FXOWLHVLQ
7 paragraph 2 and so they answer
the problems the school has.

7 The overall meaning of the


writing is never in doubt with some
simple accurate structures.

9 Cambridge O Level English Language 1123


Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

Example Candidate Response – middle, continued Examiner Fomments

8 8 The candidate makes clear


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9 JLYHVPRUHWKDQRQHEHQH¿W

9 Paragraphing is made clear


and appropriate by the candidate.

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/DQJXDJHRXWRI

Total mark awarded =


17 out of 30

Cambridge O Level English Language 1123 10


Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

How the candidate could have improved their answer


• Although the candidate made the purpose, audience and situation clear, a lot of the question was lifted to form
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heavily on the vocabulary and expression of the question and the candidate could have used their own words more
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of their own opinion.
• The format of the piece was generally good. However, the candidate could have made it even better by avoiding
the use of ‘Thank you’ at the end which made the ending seem like a letter.
• 7KHFDQGLGDWHDGGUHVVHGDOOWKHEXOOHWSRLQWVEXWLQEXOOHWSRLQWWKHFDQGLGDWHRPLWWHGDQ\VSHFL¿FPHQWLRQRIWKH
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• Although the overall meaning was never in doubt, the candidate could have given more attention to the use of
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there was a lack of ‘patches’ of accuracy.
• The candidate could have used a far more varied vocabulary. The words ‘student(s)’, ‘break’, ‘snack’, increase/
increasing’ and ‘easy/easier’ occurred very frequently indeed and dominated the text.

11 Cambridge O Level English Language 1123


Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

Example Candidate Response – low Examiner Fomments

1 The use of the candidate’s own


words in the opening paragraph,
1 rather than lifting from the
question, shows understanding of
purpose, audience and situation.

2 2 The work is paragraphed


logically.

3 3 The use of sub-headings for


the main paragraphs discussing
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together with the use of bullet
points within these paragraphs,
4 gives the text some idea of being
a report. Furthermore, there are
several points made for each
of these two paragraphs. It is
important when using bullet points
that the sentences should be full
ones as here and not written as
5
notes.

4 The candidate uses statistics


which is a useful way of
suggesting research for a report.
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should not be overused.

5 As far as the Language of the


text is concerned, the overall
meaning is never in doubt.

Cambridge O Level English Language 1123 12


Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

Example Candidate Response – low, continued Examiner Fomments

6 6 This short sentence shows


that the candidate can write the
occasional accurate sentence.

7
7 Some attention is given to the
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8 8 At the beginning and the


end, the text type is generally
appropriate.

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/DQJXDJHRXWRI

Total mark awarded =


14 out of 30

13 Cambridge O Level English Language 1123


Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

How the candidate could have improved their answer


• $VIDUDVWKH7DVN)XO¿OPHQWZDVFRQFHUQHGWKH¿UVWWZREXOOHWSRLQWVZHUHDQVZHUHGUHDVRQDEO\ZHOO+RZHYHU
even though there were several points made in each paragraph, there was no mention of what the question
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partially addressed.
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more completely’ was unclear. Again, there was no reference to the buying of snacks at break time. As with bullet
SRLQWVDQGWKHLQIRUPDWLRQZDVQRWVSHFL¿FHQRXJKDQGWKHFDQGLGDWHQHHGHGWRFRQFHQWUDWHPRUHRQWKH
issue of buying food in a crowded canteen.
• With the Language the overall meaning of the text was never in doubt. However, there was only the occasional
accurate sentence and the candidate was not able to achieve any ‘patches’ of clear, accurate writing. There were
many errors in spelling (the two different spellings of Principal at the start of the text), tense and verb (‘share’
instead of ‘shared’), agreement (‘...almost 70% of student…’) – all such errors needed correction.

Common mistakes candidates made in this question


• Some candidates did not see that there were two parts to one of the bullet points and so they answered only one
half of that bullet point. If the bullet point is in two parts it will have ‘and’ written in bold letters to show that two
pieces of information are required to address the point fully.
• Another common error was to get the format wrong, either by not writing a report or by mixing together the report
and letter formats so that it was unclear; quite often candidates would start with a proper report format and then
end it with an inappropriate letter valediction such as ‘Regards’.
• Many candidates tended to lift part of the question as their opening paragraph when they were uncertain about how
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RQO\WKDWWKHUHZHUHGLI¿FXOWLHV
• 6RPHFDQGLGDWHVUHOLHGWRRPXFKRQVXSSO\LQJORQJOLVWVRIGLI¿FXOWLHVRUVXJJHVWLRQVIRUEXOOHWSRLQWVDQG
UDWKHUWKDQH[SODLQLQJDOLWWOHPRUH%HFDXVHµGLI¿FXOWLHV¶DQGµVXJJHVWLRQV¶ZHUHSOXUDOWKH\KDGWRVXSSO\PRUH
than one but a few of each with proper detail proved to be much more effective than listing as many as possible.
• Occasionally, candidates make the mistake of introducing too much narrative into the Section 1 answers. Telling
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GLI¿FXOWLHV7KHUHLVD¿QHOLQHWREHGUDZQEHWZHHQSURYLGLQJGHWDLODQGSURYLGLQJWRRPXFKGHWDLOLQQDUUDWLYHIRUP
• There was sometimes an issue to do with tone. The vast majority of candidates were admirably polite in addressing
the Principal but there were a few examples where candidates were a little forceful in saying something like ‘Make
sure these suggestions are implemented’.
• In language, the greatest problems in Section 1 were usually to do with tenses and agreement. Some candidates
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continue with the same tense when referring to an event in the past (‘Yesterday, I am in the canteen…’) so that the
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unsure as to whether to use ‘would’ or ‘will’.

Cambridge O Level English Language 1123 14


Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

Task 2

Example Candidate Response – middle Examiner Fomments

1 1 Early use of adjectives by the


candidate shows that the essay
will be descriptive.
2

2 As far as content is concerned,


the candidate clearly intends to
describe two different locations as
required by the question.

3 3 The candidate can write in


accurate sentences with enough
variety of sentence structure to
include subordinate clauses.
4

4 The candidate’s use of some


VFLHQWL¿FYRFDEXODU\DGGVWR
the impression that overall the
vocabulary is mainly correct and
sometimes conveys shades of
meaning.

5 There is a ‘patch of clear,


accurate language’ which extends
into the opening of the following
paragraph.
5
6 The clear use of frequent and
appropriate paragraphs, based
6 mainly on the passage of time, is
a feature of this text.

7 The accurate sentence


separation, made clear by the
correct use of full stops, helps the
7 ÀXHQF\RIWKHHVVD\
8
8 The candidate continues to use
9 some useful vocabulary as in the
use of ‘relieved’ and the spelling
throughout the essay is accurate.

9 The candidate manages


another small ‘patch’ of accuracy
here which continues just on to
the next page.

15 Cambridge O Level English Language 1123


Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

Example Candidate Response – middle, continued Examiner Fomments

10 10 There is more evidence here of


the candidate’s effort to describe.

11 Overall, the essay is adequate


11 in length and the candidate gives
a sense of unity here in the last
paragraph by summarising the
experience.

Total mark awarded =


18 out of 30

Cambridge O Level English Language 1123 16


Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

How the candidate could have improved their answer


• ,WZDVLPPHGLDWHO\REYLRXVLQWKH¿UVWSDUDJUDSKWKDWWKHFDQGLGDWHZDVXQVXUHDERXWZKLFKWHQVHWRXVHJLYHQ
that this was a descriptive task, because the candidate was caught between describing places and recording
events. The candidate initially decided on a narrative to carry the description and so chose the past tense (‘I
decided…’). However, as early as the second sentence the candidate changed to the present tense (‘…we are
going…’). Such uncertainty was maintained throughout the essay so that the sequence of events was always in
doubt. The candidate needed to choose one tense and stay with it.
• :KHQDWHQVHZDVFKRVHQLWZDVQRWDOZD\VFRUUHFWDVLQµ:KHQKH¿QDOO\VWRSVPRNLQJ«¶
• The candidate needed to vary sentence lengths to make the writing sound more natural. There was too much
reliance on fairly short, ‘safe’ sentence lengths which gave the text a repetitive feel. Even correct sentences, if they
are all very similar, can limit the achievement. Added to this, the sentence types were very repetitive and the use of
question sentences and exclamations would have helped to vary it.

Common mistakes candidates made in this question


• The most common mistake in descriptive essay type was the error made by this candidate, the mixing of tenses.
7KLVZDVXVXDOO\FDXVHGEHFDXVHVRPHFDQGLGDWHVIRXQGLWYHU\GLI¿FXOWWRVXVWDLQSXUHGHVFULSWLRQLQWKHSUHVHQW
tense for this length of essay and so they resorted to adding narrative. Not only did this change the essay type and
so limit the response but it was almost certain to introduce past tenses and the candidate became uncertain about
whether to use past or present.
• Many candidates forget to use all of their senses when describing. Sights and sounds were the most popular
elements described but only the better candidates remembered to introduce the ideas of taste and touch and smell.
Also, when prompted by the question to consider the ‘atmosphere’ of a location, too many candidates made the
mistake of thinking that this was merely the weather.

17 Cambridge O Level English Language 1123


Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

Task 3

Example Candidate Response – middle Examiner Fomments

1 1 Using a quotation at the start


of the essay is a useful way of
beginning the argument.

2 This is a good use of a


2 question sentence in an
‘Argument essay’ as it involves the
reader and varies the sentence
structure.

3 3 The candidate is prepared to


express opinions and makes good
use of a quotation to express the
point of view.

4 4 Once again, the use of a


question sentence maintains the
sense of an argument.

5 5 The candidate is capable of


achieving ‘patches’ of relatively
clear writing, as in the latter part of
this paragraph and the beginning
of the next.

Cambridge O Level English Language 1123 18


Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

Example Candidate Response – middle, continued Examiner Fomments

6 6 Here, the candidate again


demonstrates the ability to include
a question sentence to involve
the reader. This also adds variety
to the sentence structure. By
following two quite long sentences
at the start of this page with the
shorter sentence ‘Well, I got
answers....’ the candidate further
increases the range of sentence
structures.

7 7 The candidate uses a range


of vocabulary throughout which
is adequate in conveying the
intended meaning. ‘Nowadays’
is just one example of such
a vocabulary and there are
a number of others such as
‘Generally’ and ‘Moreover’.

8 Logical paragraphing is a
8
characteristic of this candidate’s
work in this essay. This gives unity
and coherence to the text.

9 9 The spelling of a word like


‘Moreover’ and others like it
suggests that the candidate is
capable of the satisfactory spelling
of more than a simple vocabulary.

19 Cambridge O Level English Language 1123


Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

Example Candidate Response – middle, continued Examiner Fomments

10 Another ‘patch’ of clear


accurate writing.
10
11 The punctuation throughout
11 has, in the main, been accurate
and helpful, especially because
quotations have been punctuated,
12 question marks have been used
and the sentence separation has
been accurate.

12 As far as content is concerned,


the essay is lengthy and well
sustained. The candidate
manages to convey a point of
view convincingly. By suggesting
both sides of the argument the
essay suggests a balanced and
thoughtful consideration of the
topic.

Total mark awarded =


16 out of 30

Cambridge O Level English Language 1123 20


Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

How the candidate could have improved their answer


• The Content of the essay was satisfactory and so the main areas for improvement were in the Language.
• The main improvement that the candidate could have made was to ensure that the correct tense and verb form
was used. This needed checking throughout the essay. Clear examples of the misuse of verbs and tenses were
‘Some children sent away elderly people…’ and ‘they have pass the journey of life and knows well…’. These
examples demonstrated how the sequence of the essay was uncertain as tenses and verbs were not consistent.
• The candidate had problems with agreement as in ‘Elderly people shows the path…’ and should have avoided
these.
• There was sometimes a loss of the correct tone in this essay. An Argument essay often requires more formal
language than the other two and here the candidate allowed the tone to slip by using vocabulary and expressions
such as ‘two kids’ and ‘when the world dumps you’ and ‘it’s a huge pain’.
• The vocabulary, although it was adequate to convey meaning, lacked a little sophistication and the candidate
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Common mistakes candidates made in this question


• It is very important for a candidate attempting the Argument essay to be sure to have enough content or material
to be able to write a satisfactory amount. Also, it is vital for the candidate to have the linguistic skills to carry out the
task adequately. Argument writing is usually a very sophisticated activity and it should only be attempted by those
who are able to carry it out. Often, this title was attempted by those candidates who had a very strong point of view
but not enough evidence or personal experience to back up their point of view.
• Candidates sometimes forgot that in order to give their point of view on a subject it is useful to consider the
opposite point of view as well. This gives candidates more to say and suggests they are more balanced and
considered in their thoughts.

21 Cambridge O Level English Language 1123


Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

Task 5

Example Candidate Response – high Examiner Fomments

1 1 Planning is a sensible idea,


especially when it helps to
determine the proper sequence of
events and tenses. It is important
not to spend too much time doing
this, especially if it stops the
candidate checking afterwards.

Cambridge O Level English Language 1123 22


Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

Example Candidate Response – high, continued Examiner Fomments

2 2 This is a slightly awkward


sentence but it is short and
dramatic and sets the tone for a
spy narrative of this sort.
3
3 It is clear from the whole of
this paragraph that, although the
sentence structure is not very
varied at this stage, the writing is
accurate.
4
4 Another short sentence helps
to set the correct atmosphere.

5 The correct use of tenses is


5 helping to suggest the correct
sequence of events.

6 6 The inclusion of speech by


the candidate helps to vary the
7 sentence structure so that it reads
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8
7 Appropriate images are used.

8 Effective choice of vocabulary


and detail (‘annoyed’) helps to
create character.

23 Cambridge O Level English Language 1123


Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

Example Candidate Response – high, continued Examiner Fomments

9 The candidate continues to


9 write in a way which is accurate
and also manages to include
some sophisticated expression
(‘keen on completing…’). Three
10 lines later the word ‘housing’ is
precise enough to convey shades
of meaning.

10 Paragraphing is effective
throughout.

11 The very occasional slips in


verb forms only serve to highlight
11
that the sequence overall is
consistent and clear.

Cambridge O Level English Language 1123 24


Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

Example Candidate Response – high, continued Examiner Fomments

12 Again, the precise use of


12 vocabulary such as ‘instantly’
conveys the meaning well and
the use of tense (‘had happened’)
adds sophistication.

13 13 The candidate cleverly uses


the punctuation of ‘couple’ to
convey meaning. The same is
true of the word ‘wife’ later on
this page. Overall in this essay
the punctuation is accurate and
helpful.

14 14 Excellent vocabulary here in


‘lunged’. This also demonstrates
how good the spelling is
throughout the essay.

15 The punctuation and the short


15 dramatic sentence combine to
contribute to the atmosphere.
16
16 The effective use of a modern
idiom is sophisticated as it is
typical of the genre.

25 Cambridge O Level English Language 1123


Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

Example Candidate Response – high, continued Examiner Fomments

17 This is a long, sustained


17 HVVD\DQGWKH¿QDOSDUDJUDSK
provides a sensible summing up
of the action. A sense of unity is
achieved.

Total mark awarded =


25 out of 30

Cambridge O Level English Language 1123 26


Example Candidate Responses – Paper 1

How the candidate could have improved their answer


• This was a successful essay and so the areas for improvement were relatively few.
• Although the use of short sentences was at times successful in creating dramatic impact, there was sometimesan
overuse of quite simple sentence structures, for example, in paragraphs 1 and 2. The sentence variation was alittle
limited on such occasions and needed the introduction of a more complex sentence to break up this repeated
pattern.
• In a similar way, while the vocabulary was very good overall, it was not exceptional and there were times when the
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vocabulary here contained very little that was exceptional. It was accurate and correct but rather straightforward.
The use of ‘lunging’ in the essay demonstrated that the candidate needed a little more vocabulary of this advanced
sort.
• Apart from the above, all the candidate needed to do was be aware of the occasional slips in spelling (‘superstion’)
and expression (µ…the collars we extremely ...¶) in order to correct them.

Common mistakes candidates made in this question


• Most candidates chose the Narrative question. This was entirely sensible as narratives are more natural for
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they wished to write. One of the Narrative titles always asks the candidate to integrate a given sentence into a
VWRU\OLQH7KHSUREOHPZLWKQRWEHLQJÀH[LEOHZKHQZULWLQJZDVWKDWRIWHQWKH\GLGQRWLQWHJUDWHWKHJLYHQVHQWHQFH
convincingly. This could happen when the candidate has not taken notice of the past tense used in the given
sentence and written the rest of the essay in the present tense so that the given sentence sounds awkward in
context.
• Adding variety to a Narrative essay is essential and one of the best ways is to include convincing dialogue.
However, for this to work properly, it must be punctuated correctly, including setting out different speakers on
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• Another common mistake made in writing direct speech was when candidates confused it with reported speech so
that it became a mixture of the two – She said that ‘I am going out.’
• Prepared opening paragraphs were used in Narrative essays, usually involving the candidate waking up on a
bright, sunny morning and going through the whole routine of washing and having breakfast when in fact it all had
very little to do with the story which tended to start in paragraph 2.

27 Cambridge O Level English Language 1123


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