Domestic violence

- Violence/abuse that occurs in a domestic setting such as in a marriage or

cohabitation.
- Multiple forms: physical, verbal, emotional, economic, religious, reproductive,
sexual

Scenario:
A 35-year-old married woman was suffering from psychological distress secondary to
domestic violence by her husband. She was experiencing physical, verbal and financial
abuse from her husband. She is the mother of a five-year-old girl and an
eight-month-old toddler. She reported that she was unable to sleep, feeling sad, unable
to concentrate on day-to-day activities, and worried about the future of herself and her
children as the husband stopped giving money to maintain the family.

She had been to the police and had talked to the relatives but nothing had helped.

Goals of counseling session: assess the ongoing problems, immediate needs and
concerns of the client, offer the first line of emotional support, enhance client’s safety
through risk assessment and safety planning.

*listen to the client’s concerns empathetically, offer support non-judgmentally and

reassure her that she was not alone. Assert that the abuse was not her fault and
appreciate her for having shown the courage to seek external help for preventing
violence.
Counselor: Good morning Jane, I am your counselor today and my name is Janice.
Thank you for taking the time to come and meet with me today.

Counselee: Hi.

Counselor: Please take a seat and make yourself comfortable.

Counselee: *sits down*

Counselor: Just before we get started I just want to go over a few things regarding
confidentiality with you and make sure that we discuss a little bit about the counseling
relationship.

Counselee: Ok.

Counselor: The information that you share with me and any notes that I might take
during the counseling session are kept completely confidential. I will not disclose any of
your information to anyone through any medium such as computer, phone or paper.

Counselee: Ok.

Counselor: However, there may be specific situations where I may need to break
confidentiality. That is if you tell me that you may be of harm to yourself or to others or if
you tell me that you’ve been involved in a serious crime or if the information is
requested during legal proceedings. So in those situations I would be required to share
the information that we discussed. Do you have any questions about confidentiality so
far?

Counselee: None so far.

Counselor: Alright, our counseling session will take around 10 to 15 minutes. Let us get
started. Firstly thanks for coming in today, it’s nice to meet you. Can you briefly
introduce yourself?

Counselee: I am a full-time housewife with 2 children, one five-year-old girl and an

eight-month-old toddler. I graduated as an accountant but I decided to be a homemaker
since I got married 8 years ago.

Counselor: I see. What brings you here to seek counseling support today?
Counselee: I am overwhelmed with fear everyday and I can’t do anything.

Counselor: Hmm, do you mind sharing more with me about your feelings?

Counselee: I was in deep anxiety, I cannot focus on my day-to-day activities and take
care of my children. I feel that my heart is pounding fast and I can’t even fall asleep. I
was worried about myself and my children that how should we continue our lives.

Counselor: Okay. You are saying that you are in fear and anxiety and these affect your
daily activities right?

Counselee: Yes.

Counselor: Hmm. What happened to you that brings you so much fear and anxiety that
you can’t concentrate on your daily activities?

Counselee: I was suffering from domestic abuse by my husband. I was in so much fear
and anxiety everyday and I couldn't help it.

Counselor: Can you tell me a little more about what happened?

*silence*

Counselor: Relax yourself, take a deep breath and take your time to organize your
thoughts. Don't worry, just express your feelings to me.

Counselee: After I married my husband, everything was going well during the first few
years. He was responsible to our family and treated me well. However, in the last two
years, his temper changed and always got irritated easily, sometimes for no reason. He
will abuse me using filthy language when he gets mad. I tolerated his temper initially,
thinking that it was part of his personality. After some time, things got worse and I
started to realize that all these are getting wrong.

Counselor: Alright, so youre saying that your husband’s personality has changed from
the last two years and he gets irritated easily. How was this problem getting worse?

Counselee: His temper was getting worse and he couldn't even control his emotions in
front of our children and other relatives. He would scold me using rude sentences in
front of everyone regardless of occasions.
Counselor: I see. Anything else he did to you other than verbal abuse?

Counselee: My husband also did abuse me physically. I think it started around half a
year ago where he would beat me over trivial issues. He would use a leather belt or a
cloth hanger to beat me while scolding with abusive language. He will even smash and
break furniture or glasses while he gets mad. If I fight back against him, he would
become more physically and psychologically abusive to the point that he even
threatened to kill me and my children.

Counselor: I am sorry to hear that. Do you have any sustained injuries due to the
physical abuse? or been admitted to the hospital before?

Counselee: *shows arm* I have bruises and abrasions all over my arms and legs. I
never seek any medical attention for my injuries.

Counselor: Have you ever been admitted to the hospital before or sought any medical
attention for your injuries?

Counselee: No, I never seek any medical attention for my injuries.

Counselor: Other than verbal abuse and physical abuse, any other things that your
husband did to you?

Counselee: My husband used to control the finances since we married. He will give me
money every month for household use. However, he deprived me financially starting
from the last two months. If I question him regarding this, he will blame me and
complain that the household expenses were too high. Thus, he said that he doesn’t
have enough money to support the entire family. I have no idea how I should continue to
live with my two children.

Counselor: Hmm, so other than physical and verbal abuse, your husband also abuses
you financially by stopping to support the family.

Counselee: Yes, you are right.

Counselor: So how do you support your household expenses for these two months
since your husband stopped giving you money?
Counselee: I have been using my savings for these two months. I am worried about my
life later as I have already used up most of my savings. I have to take care of my
children. It is difficult for me to find a job while being their caregiver.

Counselor: I understand your feelings. There are actually several jobs available for
stay-at-home mothers to earn a living while managing their households. Maybe you can
try to find out things that you are capable of doing to make money while balancing your
time with your children. But firstly, I think your concern right now is to get away from
domestic abuse, am I correct?

Counselee: Yes. I feel so helpless as I wanted to run away from all these but I have to
think about my children. I am clueless about how should I decide right now.

Counselor: Have you ever shared this issue with anyone such as your parents, relatives
or friends?

Counselee: Yes, they all knew about it and I had tried to share and seek help from my
family members. They tried to advise my husband and help me on this issue. However
my husband’s temper didn’t change at all and even got worse. He can’t accept other
people’s opinion and can’t realise his own problem. This is why I came to the counseling
centre. I need someone to help me on how I should continue my life with my two
children, and get out of all this chaos.

Counselor: You can contact the domestic violence helpline which is also known as
“Talian Kasih 15999”. This hotline is created by Kementerian Pembangunan Wanita,
Keluarga dan Masyarakat in order to let people suffering from social problems such as
abuse and domestic violence to seek help. “Talian Kasih” is available 24 hours
everyday.

Counselee: Ok.

Counselor: There is also another NGO called "Women's Aid Organization”. This
organization provides free shelter, counseling and crisis support to women and children
who experience abuse. You can access their services by contacting the WAO hotline or
WhatsApp.

Counselee: Ok.

Counselor: Would you like to jot down the hotline number?

Counselee: Yes, sure.

Counselor: The hotline number is 03-30008858. They are available from 8am to 10pm
everyday.

Counselee: Alright, I will try to seek help from these two organizations.

Counselor: The most important thing is to remember that all these were not your fault.
You deserve to live better with your children. You are not alone, and do not hesitate to
seek help.

Counselee: Alright, thanks for your advice. I will try my best to find a solution for this
issue.

Counselor: Okay, our session is coming to a close. Other than seeking help from the
organizations, you can keep a record of all violent incidents, recording dates, events
and threats made if possible. This may serve as evidence and also help you to ventilate
your feelings. But remember to keep your journal in a safe place. Are you able to do
this?

Counselee: Yes, I will try to write down every night before I sleep.

Counselor: You can bring along your journal to show me during our next session.

Counselee: Alright.

Counselor: I am sure that you can get through this. Our next appointment will be on
Saturday after 2 weeks. Is this okay for you?

Counselee: Yes.

Counselor: Alright, take care of yourself and see you next time. Feel free to come to me
again if you have any problems.

Counselee: Sure, thank you so much. Goodbye.

Counselor: Goodbye.