Background info

Author - Bama (Faustima Mary Fatima)

She was born into a catholic family in puthupatti

Tamil speaker and writer
She became a nun after graduation
Even in the church there was discrimination towards dalits and that's why she started resenting
the convent
She spent 7 years as a nun
She had high respect for the convent before, as she saw it as a chance to escape the bounds
of her caste
She later set up a school for dalit children after taking a loan
She has said that she considers it her duty to write about her experience and that writing is a
political tool and weapon
She writes dalit feminist literature
She has written a collection of essays "Single by choice" (secondary reading)

After publishing, she was banished from her village due to its poor portrayal

The book is an autobiographical account

Many people convert to escape the belittling of their caste, but it only gets worse as they get singled
out

Caste order

Naickers (own 75% of the land)

Chaaliyars
Parayaas

Themes
Caste discrimination
"I realized the full import of the caste system in all its ugly reality. I realised how because of the
caste system, my people were treated as untouchables without any rights, without any access to
justice"
"I realized that the caste system was the root of all our problems"
It's a hopeless situation as their whole life is determined by something they can't control
"I was made to understand that I was not a human being, that I was a pariah, that I was dirty and
impure"
Psychological damage
 The dalits were limited to menial labour
Oppression and sexism
"The men in my community treated us like property. They treated us like animals"
Dehumanizing
This was on top of being a dalit.
"I was treated as a sexual object by the men in my community. They treated me like a thing to be
used and discarded"
Treated like trash
"I knew that I had to fight against the oppression of my people. I knew that I had to fight against
the oppression of my sisters"
They were united due to oppression ("sisters")
She's using writing as a weapon to fight
They feel oppression from outside their community and within it
Identity
"I realized that I could not escape my Dalit identity. I realized that I had to embrace it"
Not to be ashamed
"I was torn between my past and my present, between my old identity and my new one"
It's hard to give up a religion after years of practicing it, and being part of it, but it was
needed
"I realized that my identity was not fixed but constantly evolving"
She becomes more accepting and open minded of all others
Importance of education
"I was denied education because of my caste. I was not allowed to enter school."
"I realized that education was not just about reading and writing. It was about understanding my
place in the world and my relationship to society"
It's more than a status symbol but about what she can do with that knowledge
"I was proud of my achievements, despite the obstacles I faced. I knew that education had the
power to change my life"
But also change the lives of others, as she set out to do by writing Karukku
Resilience
"I learned to fight back. I learned to use my voice and assert my rights."
She understands the power that her voice could have
"I was determined to educate myself. I taught myself to read and write"
Proof of her determination and strength
"I realized that resistance was not just about the big, grand gestures. It was about the small.
everyday acts of defiance"
She understands that large change is needed for this system
Religion
"I realized that Christianity gave me a voice, It gave me the courage to speak out against the
injustices I face"

Chapter 2
Begins with the first mention of untouchability, and her bad experience with it
She talks about her walk home from school which was filed with distractions
Once she sees an elderly man with a packet of vadai, which he isn't allowed to do since he's too low a
caste to do it
She finds it amusing as he's a large man barely holding it by the tips of his fingers
Innocence
Her brother explains that it's not funny, he's only holding it by the tips so that he doesn't
'contaminate' it for the higher castes
Her grandmother recounts how she was horribly treated by higher castes like the Naickers
Shows how deep rooted and long standing this issue is
Even when she's at the convent school after completing her B.Ed she's treated worse than others
This is when she decides to become a nun to serve the dalit children who are discriminated again
She learns that she's a Paraya - a lower caste
This strips her of any identity and individuality in the eyes of the higher castes
Themes
Discrimination - The dalit were treated poorly solely because of their caste and didn't have nearly
the same opportunities as someone from a higher caste
Even in a convent school which accepted dalits she faced discrimination
Sucess
Power
Differences
Identity
Caste determines identity, their being is reduced to their caste
pg 15-17
Details how the elder handed the vadai to the Naicker
It's as if he's in a temple as he bows and lays low
The word shrinking is used, despite the elder being a big man
An innocent young (10 yr old) bama doesn't understand why this is, and finds it funny, but after
she realises that it's an act of discrimination due to caste, and she becomes enraged
"The thought of it infruriated me"
Loss of innocence, Bama was shielded from the reality so far
Her frustration is evident, and this event is important in building and showcasing her resilient
character, and shows that she
She wants to touch the vadais as an act of defiance
Her grandmothers who work at the Naicker's don't get respect from even tiny children, and they
call them by their names
The grandmothers have to call the children ayya or master
They only got the drink water from a height of 4 feet, as if they would contaminate it
They pretend like it's a big deal to give them just water, which is the bare minimum they
could do
When her grandmother got to take the leftovers home, it was like a large blessing for the
grandmothers
It's compared to "nectar of the gods"
 When Bama goes to the house, she sees someone only receiving leftover food from a distance,
and encourages them to not accept it
But the person is instead grateful of such a minimal act
The caste is extremely internalised in their minds
page 22
A warden and principal didn't allow her to go for her sibling's First Communion
They said, "What celebration can there be in your caste, for a First Communion"
The lower castes tried to convert into christianity to distance themselves from the caste
system, but it still persisted. This foreshadows that
Most nuns were telugu and didn't care about the dalits
They looked down upon tamils
"Yet, because I had the education, because I had the ability, I dared to speak up for myself. I
didn't care a toss about caste"
Education allowed her to realise the wrongs in the world, and how people can rise above it by
protesting and taking a stand
Her education differentiated her from most people who more or less accepted their subdued
role that they were born into
"I enjoyed standing up to the authorities and teaching with some skill and success"
It gave her satisfaction that she wasn't just accepting the injustice but instead retaliating

Chapter 3
Talks about the conflict between the Parayas and Chaaliyars over a graveyard that was originally of
the Parayas. The Chaaliyars wanted the graveyard to use as a playground. Death seems normal for
even the children
These are both low castes, but still have a lot of conflict
There were different graveyards for the upper caste Christians
There was police violence against the lower castes, and unfair treatment for the dalits
The Church had turned against the lower castes too, as they didn't lend money for legal proceedings
The different lower cases often have conflict which end in murder and legal disputes
Even within the lower castes there is discrimination
Despite knowing how bad the caste system is, and having experienced it, they still adopt it
Fights are very common and even children and women had to be protected
The parayas treat the Naickers and Chaaliyars very differently
They are accepting of the Naickers status as almost gods, who can treat them however they
want, but are more aggressive towards the Chaaliyars
Themes
Dalit liberation
religious conflict
marginalization
caste discrimination and oppression
Violence
First passage of chapter
No harmony between castes created a very unstable, violent environment
 People wanted to fight for their own rights but also deprive others of theirs, which is hypocritical
The upper castes are unaffected by the violence and are separated, even the non Hindus
basically adopt the caste system, and there is a lot of inequality based on money
"The Chaaliyar lads didn't have much common sense or wit. They'd wet themselves even if one
raised one's voice to them"

"But apparently they had much more by way of land, property and money than we did. It was
becuase of their possessions that they were so uppity"
Although the dalits were a lower caste than the Chaaliyars, they could physically outmatch
them which gave them some authority
The disrespect is apparent as the Chaaliyars are willing to allow children play over the graves
of the dead dalits, which is very disrespectful
The Parayas had to make the children avoid the Chaaliyar neighbourhood to avoid fights
Shows the fear, despite being physically stronger

Chapter 4
Bama talks about her experience growing up regarding discrimination
She explains the castes and what they do
Her grandmother had to work for the Naickers, and so did she in the summers
They were overworked and underpaid
Each paraya is attached to a Naicker family and has to serve them
The parayaas had to forsake their health and safety to make a living and survive
When collecting their firewood their skin would be peeling off, but they weren't afforded
anythinge extra for labour from the Naickers
The children barely got a chilhood as they had to work instead of learning and playing
The first time she experienced what childhood was supposed to be like was when she was in
convent boarding school for 9th and 10th grade
Themes
Gender discrimination
"It was always the girl children who had to look after all the chores at home"
"Men received one wage, women another. They always paid men more"
Caste discrimination
"I should not touch their goods"
"I should never come close to where they were"
"I should always stand to one side"
The imperative should shows that it's a rule that needs to be followed
Anaphora
Resilience
"Only by toiling like this, without taking any account of their bodies as human flesh and blood,
that people of my community could even survive"
dehumanising style of living
Education
Identity
"this is a community that is born to work"
 "our people laughed and were cheerful"
pg 52
Just one bundle of firewood causes her mother to vomit vast gobs of blood, that's what had to
be done to survive
Children had to start working at 10 years old, and eventually work in the farm
the girls had to do the household chores

Chapter 5
Recounting her childhood, this chapter speaks about her loss of innocence
Different childhood games
As children both genders played together
They had to work at young ages so they lost out on a large part of their childhood
Male stereotypes such as showing of strength are prevalent
In festivals the dalits were made to give the priests gifts, which shows how they just used these
events as an excuse
They celebrated with what little they had
The songs they sang were misogynistic and provocative towards women
The dalits who converted to Christianity used to try their best to please the church by buying
expensive gifts such as fruits
This shows that the problem of inequality was so ingrained that they believed they had a must to
give gifts
Even when treated badly, they try to please and impress the richer
Themes
Loss of innocence
Gender inequality
Caste oppression
Extract - 56
The children's games were very concerning and a
Domestic violence, violence from nuns and priests and, drinking police brutality were themes
These scenarios have to be very normal for them to do this
They played as Naickers and laborours
Only boys played as the Naickers, which is how these ideas of gender and being instilled in
the children without them knowing of it
It shows how ingrained this system is
"We played together as if we were all the same"
Before gender was more important to them
This suggests there is a difference and we aren't all the same
Extract - 66
Small children are physically abused by nuns, who are supposed to be compassionate and pure
They are completely helpless
Even the mothers can't do anything
 The poor, who are supposed to benefit from the church instead have to pay for food and some
basic goods
This didn't always happen
"Go home quickly without leaning on the walls or touching anything"
This is direct caste discrimination towards dalits
Christianity over here has been twisted for the upper caste to make more money and
exercise their power over the dalits

Chapter 6
Bama's father who works in the army is introduced
Only when he returns is there enough food for the family
They couldn't communicate or send money back and forth with her father
Bama's mother had to work as a coolie
When Bama gets admission into a high fee school, she faces pressure and realises the differences
between her and the rest of the students who mostly weren't dalit
She didn't fit in, and didn't go to the college party because of that
Her family is scornful of her because she took money from a nun to pay the fees
She realises that education can get dalits out of poverty
In the society she lives in, money is power
"It is he who finds his comfort by exploiting us will even change, or ever allow the system to change"
Themes
Discrimination
"And I realised how deeply shamed one can be for the lack of a few rupees in one's hand"
The students are very materialistic
Importance of education
"I realised that if only the children on my street acquired a little education and found jobs,
then they too could live reasonably well"
Bama realises how far she's come and how important her education is
Extract - page 72
Family changes
Rather than missing her dad, she's more concerned about the money that they aren't getting
while he's away from home, which shows how desperate their situation is
Her mother said her elder brother would kill her if she dropped out of school
Loss of innocence
She had to do manual labour at a very young age
Even away from school she had to do work
Poverty
Money was constantly on their mind
It was about 'managing,' not living comfortably
They had to harvest their own food and eat what they could
Change
Even in the hostel, where she had food she felt uncomfortable
 There were other factors that irked her
She had to go through a lot of change: from a small village to big school
Education changed her
Extract - pg 74
A nun sold her earrings to send bama to college
Bama's financial situations causes her to question her material possessions and compare herself
with the other, richer people
When she started doing well and being praised by it by teachers, she begun to feel more at ease
and worry less about not fitting in
Her ability to deal with this alienation but still carry on and do well at studies shows her resilience
She stops caring about material possessions like accessories, calling them just trinkets

Chapter 7
Mainly about god
Her grandmother, mother and church all had impacts on her
She thought she would be more protected by the church and would lead a better life, but she realised
that the church was just an excuse for the priests and nuns to impose their beliefs and exercise their
powers on them
But at a young age, and to uneducated people, this isn't realised
The nuns used to teach her the confession to the priest, instead of it being genuine
She wasn't allowed to touch her teeth or hands to the host (bread symbolic of jesus)
Untouchability is just prevalent
She did touch it though, and was shamed for it. This was one of the instances that lessened her
faith in the church
Their way of making the gullible dalits believe things was with fear - 'if you don't do this, something
really bad will happen to it.' You were shunned if you didn't listen
They said that if you touched the host with your teeth your mouth would bleed, which obviously
didn't happen
The nuns used to also give beatings to the children, which later turned to pinchings
instilling fear to comply with the church
Later a new church was being built, and her friends would help build it. They found a skeleton while
digging and someone said that it was of a priest and that the bones give good luck. So she took one
home and prayed to it and asked for blessings. When she told her family about it, they found it
amusing. (Innocence)
When their family gets electricity Bama is fascinated but she electrifies herself but instead thinks its a
sign from god
She tells the story of how and why the church was built, and they have a celebration to
commemorate this
These are some of the pleasant memories, where they have good food and relax with friends and
family
She later started losing belief, and started thinking of prayer as a duty
She wanted to become a nun at a dalit church to help dalit children, but she was sent to a convent for
the upper class, where she was discriminated by other nuns
 Themes
Faith and devotion
:the oppressed are not taught about him, but rather, are taught in an empty and meaningless
way about humility, obedience, patience and gentleness"
Discrimination
"That this was the way it was meant to be for Dalits; that there was no possibility of change.
And mainly because of this, those children seemed to accept everything as their fate"
Extract - pg 83
The devil and the fear instilled in Bama
"If ever i had to stay alone in the church, my insides would quake"
Foreshadows her leaving
The church should be a place of comfort
They were taught that the devil had a notebook of their sins, and if it filled up the devil would
"peel the skin off [their] backs and write our sins there"
gory imagery
These stories worked, she says she did everything the nuns told her to do
"The nuns never seemed to tell us any cheerful stories"
The church doesn't fulfil their purpose of finding hope to escape their lives, only brings them
further down
3 descriptions of the devil
1 - the classic monster description - long tail, sharp horns, nails and teeth
2 - the description becomes more vivid and more evil - "black as the night, I'd be shaken to
the core at the very thought"
3 - "Id see in front of my eyes the Devil wandering about with his balances, laughing happily,
and my guardian angel wretched and weeping"
Shows how she started realise how evil the church was
There is brainwashing that happens in the convent
There's a passage in chapter 9 that speaks of this
The church transforms her from a steadfast, firm person to someone who lost all her str

Chapter 8
How life in the convent differed from her expectations
Although others had warned her against the reality of it, she believed that she would be able to
do good
She idolised the founder of the convent
When she actually went to the convent she faced the harsh reality of discrimination
Status and treatment in the convent depended on riches
Bama wasn't able to make the difference she wanted, instead of serving the dalits and poor she had
to serve the rich
This led to her being transferred many times but since she still ended up serving the rich, she left
The schools took in a few poor children but they were discriminated aginst
Themes
Class discrimination
 Caste discrimination
extract - 110
Many had tried to dissuade her from joining the convent, knowing that the claims of freedom
from caste and class weren't true
Bama was idealistic
There were advantages - good, plentiful food; a nice large building
But she felt shameful to enjoy these luxuries, and she didn't feel at home. It felt like a Naicker
home to her
Her family and caste doesn't get this experience, she feels like she's betraying them
The nice exterior hid a lot of dynamics within the convent
There was jealousy, animosity and competitiveness between the nuns
This is uncharacteristic behaviour
It was a façade
There was power abuse - those who had completed their final vows made others complete
menial tasks
"I came here for the sake of my people, let these others go their own way"
My people refers to dalits. She only identifies herself with them. The caste system is so
rooted that even when she associates herself with people of higher caste she feels out of
place

Chapter 9
Details Bama's life after leaving the convent
She needed to look for a job but wasn't able to find something high paying
She needed to get used to the outside world after being sheltered in the convent for long
She was alienated after living in the convent for so long
Dalit children were told they would be failed if they took up education, just because of their caste
She still didn't regret leaving the convent
After leaving the convent she was mentally weakened, but also felt free
Themes
Caste and class
Schools were caste wise
Gender discrimination
"If a woman so much as stands alone and by herself somewhere, all sorts of men gather
towards her showing their teeth"
Shows how the dalit women were the lowest of the lowest, and barely treated like human
Loss of innocence / Adulthood
"But in real life everything turns out differently. We are compelled to wander about, stricken
and unprotected"
"Rather than live with a fraudulent smile, it is better to lead a life weeping real tears"
Povert / Importance of wealth
"And this was because we had a number of elistist attributes such as status, money and a
comfortable life, and so they never could come close to us"
Extract - 118
 She was offered a job of a measly 400 rs a month, but she still didn't get that job because she's a
dalit
She's become slightly hopeless
"heaven knows where all the Dalit children can go and break their heads"
She struggles to return to normal life after being in the comfort of the convent
The dalits are said to be "poor quality," like they're a commodity
"Today I do know what it is to be hungry, to suffer illness in solitude to stand and stare without a
paisa in one's hand, to walk along the street without protection, to be embarrassed by a lack of
proper clothes, to be orphaned and entirely alone to swim against the tide in this life without
position or status or money or authority"
Metaphor
"At the time I entered the convent, I was like the strong core of a teak tree. Both in mind and in
body I was as firm and steadfast as that. But when I came out, I had lost all my strength, and was
as feeble as a murunga"
Simile
Extract - pg 115
Bama writes as if the convent is separate from the rest of the world
She needed strength to leave it
She felt better after leaving
"like a fish that has at last returned to the water"
"It is possible to live in elitist style with money, education, authority and power, and to claim that
one is serving the poor. But what kind of service is it that is done without humanity"
"I am like a bird whose wings were broken, After its wings have been broken, it is protected only if
it stays within its cage. But if it comes out, it can only flap its wings uselessly, unable to fly. And
that is the state in which I am now"
Instead of providing freedom, the convent suppressed her already limited freedom
The convent's rules and life changed her and damaged her
Damage - discrimination, as well as alienation from the real world
She lost the support of friends and family when she was in the convent, which was a risk she was
taking
She's lost connection with her community
They only contact her if they need something
Bama thinks that being true about emotions is better than faking a smile