E7 Subtypes
E7 Subtypes
E7 Subtypes
Introduction: ―27 personajes en busca del ser‖ is a self-development book by Claudio Naranjo in
which he describes the 27 subtypes of every Enneatype and interviews people inside the SAT
(Seekers After Truth) institute about their experience with the system and how they have used it
as a tool for self-growth and discovery, hopefully this book helps someone out there improve or
is just a generally interesting thing to read for them. Either way, without wasting any more time,
I hope you enjoy the PDF and have fun.
- Mel
Shortcuts:
E7 Introduction
E7 Social – Sacrifice
E7 Sexual – Suggestibility
E7 Conservation (Self-Preservation) – Family
Ennea-type 7: Gluttony
Gluttony is the irrepressible need to savor all that the world has to offer. Tasting without
digesting means taking from the world only the most exciting and tasty aspects, and above all
easily rejecting everything that hurts or does wrong.
The E7 avoids contact with the feeling of emptiness by ―filling the mouth‖ with pleasant
experiences and stimuli, thus cultivating a great ability to always stay on the surface. The E7
believes to fill the void with an illusory layer made up of multiple behaviors tending to
displacement and distraction.
The pleasure of the search for stimuli requires a constant movement that prevents the E7
from feeling the lack or frustration that the world obviously faces.
For males, this has meant a distant relationship—or rejection—from the father; for
women, on the other hand, it has been to fulfill a masculine role, leaving aside the feminine
dimension (either in terms of the erotic or emotional aspect).
This support function did not translate, as for E1, into a rigid assumption of
responsibilities, but led to a compulsive need to please and be recognized as a skilled harlequin
who puts himself at the service of the other without renouncing his own advantages.
Although touched by the feeling of guilt, he tries to escape by distracting the attention of
the other (and his own) from his misdeeds.
The weapons he uses to enchant and obtain the forgiveness and approval of the other are
cunning and seduction (self-indulgence is his fixation). He takes pleasure in his achievements,
confusing cunning with intelligence. Making the other fall into their nets gives him back a
narcissistic assessment of himself; he is not interested in knowing the real feeling of the other;
their constant search is the feeling of satisfaction product of their own abilities.
The social E7 is the counter-type seven, in the sense that it is difficult to recognize in him the
passion of gluttony, because he strives to hide it with an altruistic behavior that, in some way,
should purify him from the guilt of feeling an attraction to pleasure or to one's own advantage.
This is an attraction that he tries not to feel by pursuing an ideal of himself and the world: he
sacrifices his gluttony to be better and for a better world where there is no pain or conflict.
The social seven are people who, on the surface, do not want to exploit others, do not
want to be tied to their desires. They are very pure people, too pure. There are some sevens who
are very concerned about their diet, about world hunger, and so on. New Age fashion was a
hotbed of this seven social culture.
It would seem that the individual had the intuition that he hides a pig inside himself and
said, ―No! I'm going to define myself as a detached pig.‖ This is the social seven.
The word Ichazo used was sacrifice. But it is a sacrifice of gluttony. It is a postponement
of desires before an ideal. The deception is that these people really have a great gluttony in
recognition of their sacrifice. They want others to see them as very good.
Now I am going to give a bad example about the social seven, since I will refer to the life
of a true saint, highly revered in the Christian world. It is obvious that I am talking about San
Francisco, who was this type of person.
Saint Francis followed the kind of advice that William Blake gave: if we lived madness
and followed it, then it would become wisdom. If the mad and neurotic man fully lives his
madness, he would become a sage. It is a path.
So San Francisco wanted to be good. Therefore, he did all the things that a seven needs
for transformation: he lived miserably, he raised stones to repair the shrine, he kissed lepers...
Nothing could be more horrible. So he did all the right things to detach himself from the seven of
him. But if we examine the early life of Saint Francis, we will find a very revealing anecdote.
Together with his monks, the saint built a kind of tent to take shelter. Suddenly it started to rain
and Saint Francis and his monks went to the shelter to rest. But when they arrived they found a
farmer with his cow inside the store. And Franciscan generosity was to give priority to the
farmer and his cow.
It seems to me that health, both mental and spiritual, has to do with loving what your
neighbor asks of you. But when you love your neighbor more than yourself, then you are trying
to be too good. This is very typical of nuns, and some social sevens can also get into that kind of
stereotype of goodness, which consists of trying to be good according to a code or a social
consensus.
Perhaps humans today would be tempted to think that they have more rights than a cow,
but perhaps we are wrong about this too: deep ecology has something to tell us about it. But
where is the limit of goodness? There is a kind of kindness by applause, very typical of the social
seven.
The path to self-realization involves dissolving this compulsion of a good child, going
through two complex and complicated internal pitfalls: guilt and selfishness. The guilt is hidden,
rather projected, blaming others for their lack of commitment and dedication (the latent
complaint is: ―with what I have done... and how unjustly I am answered‖), or reproaching
himself for being naïve and delusional, for expecting so much from the human race.
But behind all this there is guilt for feeling so interested under the mask of good, for
manipulating through enthusiasm, for delegating excessively in the name of tolerance, etc. So he
begins to distrust his good intentions, to feel quite miserable and to make a mess between what is
altruism and/or selfishness.
Changing the ―being for the other‖ to ―being for himself‖ is a complicated process:
attending to the deepest self-motivations is extremely difficult because, either you do not see
them, or they seem ―bad‖ (interested). So you have to clothe them with altruism, idealism,
dedication and sacrifice to make them acceptable. The reverse path is to recognize comfort,
laziness, narcissism... and then the hunger for recognition and love, so insatiable.
The healthy way for a social E7 is to decriminalize selfishness, turn this taboo around,
and start really loving yourself, legitimizing your real needs instead of fraudulently disguising
them. Contributions in this regard abound, received from other social E7:
―To be more for me and less for the other. Being more selfish in depth, knowing what I
want and need.‖ (Irene Díaz)
―Legitimize one's own and others' ‗no‘, without conditioning or commodifying it...
Generally, we use sacrifice to cover our deficits and shortcomings, to claim recognition and
admiration, to be loved (as we do not know how to love ourselves), to legitimize our desires and
whims.‖ (Enrique de Diego)
―Sacrifice and service is the price to pay for my neurotic need for the admiration of
others.‖ (Josep Micó)
―Acceptance that ‗nothing happens‘, but not in a superficial sense of false joy, or rather,
of superficial joy, but in the line of trust in others and, above all, real confidence in myself.‖
(Jaime Locutura)
―...when the complicated mind quiets down, one can be at peace, open, to the rhythm of
the present day, with nothing to prove or anything to hide.‖ (Katriona Munthe)
―Sometimes I feel guilty that I am not giving what is expected of me, but it is like a
burden of guilt that I have left over, better to be attentive to my responsibility, not to become a
small child to avoid the things I do. Take over. It is not guilt, but responsibility.‖ (Manuel
González)
The dissolution of this idealistic structure is therefore very difficult and at the same time
inevitable if one is serious about maturation. The fear of stopping moving for ideals is to fall into
apathy, to lose the fuel that allows you to intervene in the world, to exist socially, to be
recognized.
Deep down there is a deep pessimism towards oneself, towards people and towards the
world: with a little more confidence in life it would not take so much indoctrination in one's own
ideals or so much effort to please and mobilize others with these ideals. Some of this is being
abandoned in exchange for greater and more authentic confidence.
The mind of a social E7 has something of a permanent teenager: provocative,
enlightened, simplistic and comfortable when the task becomes too demanding. Growing up
literally means getting older, more realistic, less subjective and willful. More sympathetic to the
models previously reviled ideologically.
―Change is seeing more accurately even what I find ugly or painful... Discover the
simplicity... To put under suspicion the excessive enthusiasm...‖ (Katriona M.)
―I look and feel more normal. I am aware that sacrifice is to achieve my ideal... for the
search for recognition (narcissism), to not set limits... and it is also a compensation of the most
manipulative part, which leaves the other in debt.‖ (Irene D.)
―I have stopped having perfect future fantasies, where everything was just as I wanted.
Now I only have catastrophic fantasies, and the other day I understood that they are a way to
give way to my fears.‖ (Xavier Florensa)
―Breaking the mask of the good, taking my strength and my power... Do not avoid
dissonance, conflict... Stop wanting to be the savior or permanent helper of the other, who has
his own responsibilities and does not ask me or need me to be the savior.‖ (M. Gonzalez)
―I understand better my need to be loved, the fear of not doing what is expected of me. I
can look compassionately at the need I have for what I do to be valued, as if I constantly ask,
‗Look, Mom, what I know how to do.‘ I can tell and smile when it happens.‖ (Pep Duran)
That there are some (few) solid and respectable values: the pursuit of truth and
knowledge, right action, compassion… Everything else is questionable (or outright false)
And, with all this, do not fall into cynicism, accept the pain of lucidity and honor life as a
sacred joke, which is not the same as surviving or adapting.
―How to be fully awake and doing nothing. Awake and sensitively empty. Hungry
without being sad. But avoiding the trap of putting oneself in parentheses ("I will attend to your
needs now and think about mine later"). Part-time sacrifice (a form of deferral or self-denial)
idealizes intermittent effort. And it postpones being. For transformation we need to understand
the continuum... the present, in the here and now... May each of our actions tend to open and
reveal the simple and dynamic development of life.‖ (K. Munthe).
―In the rebirth (SAT 3) I had a kind of vision of Jesus Christ with these words: ‗You have
already sacrificed enough, now it is time to live.‘‖ (J. Mico)
―The fantasy that everything has to be perfectly fun and that any pain, no matter how
small, is not worth living, makes you lose the meaning of life. You have to understand the
meaning of life. You have to understand that happiness is not an idea, it is something real, on
many occasions (when there is harmony at home, etc.), and that the price I pay is to be sad, sore
or angry when, on those same occasions, things do not flow.‖ (X. Florensa)
―Understand that things are simple. That no matter how brilliant one believes, one cannot
deceive everyone all the time, particularly oneself. And it's okay to be weak or clumsy: it's worse
to be an emotional idiot.‖ (J. Locutura)
―That the world can function without your presence. That what the body feels is real and
adequate... That what you should do is what life puts in front of you. And it must be done in the
moment. That doing needs time, awareness and presence.‖ (P. Duran)
Difficulties in love
The most difficult thing is to recognize one's own and others' limitations in love. Neither
everything is pure and perfect nor does the opposite justify disbelief.
What is difficult is to humanize oneself, to see the other as such and not as an expression
of your unattainable models; all these are dreams, fantasies ideologized to avoid loving
surrender, without guarantees or reservations. Feel (emotionally and sensorially) instead of
thinking and imagining transcendent love, the one that makes you touch the heavens. That love,
as a transforming force, exists, it is a real and known experience. The mistake is not to accept its
gratuitousness and impermanence. To want to hold it back is to condemn oneself to limbo and
then sink into hell. The love aspiration is that of a perpetual infatuation, even denying that it is
impossible and exhausting to maintain such a level of exaltation.
The experience of maturity puts things in a less absolute place: the heart is generous and
also petty, love is sometimes unconditional and sometimes calculating, etc. And that
psychospiritual development will not end all imperfections, since, in addition, one puts oneself in
the arrogant place of feeling better than their partners and of waiting resignedly for them to
evolve towards perfection. This position conceals a poor internal opinion: the incompetence to
love, the limitations to trust and surrender. Without crossing these wastelands it is difficult to
rebuild self-esteem and become more permeable to love.
In my work a certain emotional indifference has appeared, at first forbidden and
recriminable, but later recognized: in reality it is not to feel less but to feel better. Quality rather
than quantity. They move fewer things, but those that are genuine touch your heart more deeply.
Regarding admiration, the same venerative love is maintained for everything that was
once really meaningful. Most of the true appreciations have survived the process of
desidealization. But I find it more expensive to recognize new ideas, people, teachings. In part
there is less willingness and openness, in part the experience is disappointing: almost everything
sounds like déjá vu and usually loses when compared to what has already been received and
learned. It happens with teachers, books, music, artists, etc. The loss of the old enthusiasm leaves
a certain tone of indifference towards novelties, with joyful exceptions.
In this same line of the three loves (father-mother-child), we present some more
contributions, followed by other more generic reflections on love and affections:
―In my feeling of the three loves I see fraudulence. In the love of the father (admiration)
there is competition: it is an example to follow to immediately overcome it... with the illusory
dream of becoming another that exceeds the old limits of its own... Mother's love (compassion)
seems like an overwhelming stream of empathy, but it is a deception: I step over my loneliness,
hide it in the illusion of ‗being in this together‘, seeking companionship and comfort in this
valley of tears, but without revealing my feelings, without letting myself be touched. Childlike
love (pleasure) is sometimes confused with indiscipline or distraction. I recognize feelings of
guilt or introjections that contaminate my naturalness and control fluidity, abandonment and trust
in life. Fear paralyzes the child's creativity.‖ (K. Munthe)
―The most expensive thing is to be with an open heart... If I get paranoid, my internal
dialogue shoots up, I get angry and thus avoid feeling bad. That closes my heart and takes me
away from the world.‖ (X. Florensa)
―In the couple I have always had a high concept of commitment, I have done the
impossible to fulfill what I promised. This awareness of responsibility I think is what makes it
difficult for me to commit, and especially with a woman, since it will be for life. Which, together
with the idealization of women (the certainty that there is a better one) has been a cocktail of
difficult solution.‖ (J. Micó)
―My biggest difficulty is to surrender, to give myself. Sometimes I feel like the situation
of not having love is a punishment for not having taken it when I had it.‖ (M. Gonzalez)
―Do not encapsulate or hide anger, anger, or narcissistic wounds, which only seek false
isolation and resentful loneliness.‖ (E. de Diego)
Recommendations
In the general wave of practicing the virtue of sobriety, the social E7 does well to stop, slow
down its actions, stop anxious action and prioritize what has intrinsic importance.
Meditation is the practice par excellence to cultivate this attitude. In my case, which is
not static meditation, I am more helped by meditation in movement, attention paid to
physical/manual activities (gardening ...) or artistic activities that require concentration and at the
same time inner freedom.
Listening to one's own body is a regal way, as well as the practice of the present,
especially separating oneself from goals and focusing on the process.
This attitude is highly recommended when imparting therapy, as well as the above:
develop a therapist with more patience, less savior and more companion, precise instead of
overwhelming, more tolerant of dry phases; and without absolute maps of health, awakening,
maturation and much less therapeutic success.
―To carry out the projects, to transform them into realized works, to consciously suffer
the pain of disappointment when the final result does not resemble the original idea... Practice
the Gestalt precepts: get ready, live in the present and take responsibility!... As a therapist, the
work on one's own character has helped me to develop an attitude of help and service to the
other, not to be the protagonist but a discreet witness... with more patience with me and with the
world... incorporating the relationship as an essential factor of the therapeutic process... that
helps to feel the pain in company, without feeling judged or consented ... with the help of silence,
body awareness and especially with work done with the hands.‖ (E. de Diego)
―Meditation, being in the obvious, the here and now, as a mantra to be in touch with
reality, helped me a lot. And work with the body.‖ (I. Díaz)
―Connect with the pain of seeing yourself with judgment and contempt for others.‖ (J.
Mico)
―Helping the social E7 focus its ape mind and challenge it... to reach a place of rest and
stillness. He has to find an inner sanctuary... frustrating his escapism: no one can do the work for
him, it's the only chance he has to really live.‖ (K. Munthe)
―To say to the other: ‗So far I am with you, now I am leaving, or I need time for myself‘.
Lately I have managed to be more at home, reading, quiet, and I have stopped walking so much
on the street without concrete direction.‖ (M. Gonzalez)
―The practice of meditation so as not to get lost in fantasies... knowing how to really
listen to others and myself. Be. Laugh, do not ironize... Pay attention to the body... Go to the
essence of the problem and not stay on the surface... Acknowledging that I don't know
something.‖ (J. Locutura)
―In my case I have found pleasure in the physical, in the body, through simple activities:
walking, cooking, digging the earth, resting... Claudio's formula has been magical: ―do what is
right in the moment.‘‖ (Fr. Duran)
E7 Sexual – Suggestibility
The sexual seven is not earthly, but heavenly. He is not interested in the things of this world. It is
the gluttony of the things of a higher and more advanced world. The sexual E7 is what we could
call a dreamer. To define it, Ichazo used the word suggestibility, which I understand as the
passion to imagine something better than the desolate reality. It is the passion to enthrall reality,
to fantasize, to paint things pink. In other words, it is a form of idealization. If the word for the
social E5 is totem — totemize is a type of super-idealization — here it is rather an idealization of
the common: the sexual seven looks at things with the optimism of those who are in love. They
say that love is blind. It could be that the sexual seven is blind in the same sense. He is too
enthusiastic.
Think.
Today I feel more distrust of rational thinking and more credibility in sensation and instinct. I
don't listen so much to the intellectual flow, which makes it easier for me to silence that internal
mental noise of multi-possibilities, plans, opportunities, exciting ideas, and so on. This internal
silence also manifests itself in greater external silence, in less talking. It has been left behind to
go around the bush talking, exciting oneself with his own speech. Now there is more precision
and ability to use language better, both in the exact words and in the structuring of the speech,
and I can specify more accurately what I want to express. I do not have so much need to
externalize those wonderful ideas and possibilities that arise in the mind because you do not
believe them yourself: they are less important, they catch less and they do not self-suggest so
much.
It happens in a similar way with constant planning. There is less anticipation of the
future, fewer tales of the milkmaid and more contact with reality, both internal, with what is felt,
and external, with what is happening: it is a being more in the here now. I feel more distrust in
improvisation or in a divine force that solves everything, which I see as an avoidance and flight,
which implies more and better preparation of things, and a fulfillment by oneself, with
acceptance of what happens. There is less need for anticipatory strategies.
In this same line of distrust of one's own reasoning, the attachment to idealizations,
fantasies, and suggestions has decreased. It is easier to recognize and dismantle fantasies,
differentiating them from reality. There is more realism, a being more earthly, more rooted and
even more primal and instinctive. I take life more seriously, with more responsibility,
commitment and less avoidantly, and I face it more adultly and maturely.
I have been losing that humorous point to everything, that making irony of anything and
on any occasion. It does not manifest exclusively the clownish aspect, carefree, as if it does not
affect anything, but can appear serious to others. Internally, it's like it's more boring, less funny,
and interesting because there's less jokes. But, as in the intellectual, it is no longer funny to me.
Feel.
There is a more generalized sensitivity, emotions are more on the surface from sadness, anger,
pain, anger, to joy, satisfaction, contentment... It's a seemingly less intense feeling but more
truly, more authentic.
You could compare it to taking off your rose-colored glasses so you can see the dark
colors, that is, notice and sustain more pain, frustration, discouragement and all those unpleasant
sensations without having to manipulate your own perception of reality. Dissatisfaction and what
does not please is felt and manifested more and more clearly and directly. There is less self-
deception, falsehood and manipulation. On the other hand, more transparency appears with
oneself and with others in the expression of feelings (pleasant or unpleasant), saying what you
want or do not want, so that image of nothing happens, of being well chronic with a happy clown
face and wrapped in irony and apparent joy, decreases. In this sense, a facet of more complaint
appears that even comes to be able to show itself as curmudgeon and protest. It is left behind to
seek acceptance, appreciation, recognition at the cost of falsifying and manipulating with
seduction, the good face and the non-expression of what hurts or does not like. With this greater
integrity and transparency in disagreements, rebellion is lessened in the form of passive
aggression, boycott and hidden resistance, hurtful irony, and so on. There is more honesty in this
regard.
So much restlessness and anxiety is left behind. There was a permanent state of alertness
and activation, not knowing how much a defensive form was or how much an opportunistic and
self-serving form, possibly both. In general, there is no longer so much sense of being threatened
or that life is like a jungle in which surviving is an overexertion, only possible for the most
savvy. This decrease in inner distress has to do with a greater awareness and connection with
fear, with difficulties and limitations. Before, I lived an oversizing of the belief of power with
everything that, in reality, hid the feeling so little and the discomfort that this caused.
Conduct.
First of all, there is a considerable decrease in physical movement. This implies greater stability
by being able to stay longer still, without moving, in the same place and with the same activity.
On the one hand, there are no longer so many fronts or simultaneous activities and, on the other,
there is no such sense of provisionality in life, in the sense that one day that idyllic and
promising future will arrive in which everything will be tranquility, peace and happiness.
Become aware that this moment is already, here and now.
There is a more restful, more balanced being, as if before, both internally and externally,
there was constantly a vibration and jumping from one place to another due to a lack of
consistency, solidity and firmness. Transformation has to do with discovering an internal place
where you can stop, where there is peace and tranquility and, simply, nothing has to be done. In
addition, this decrease in agitation, chronic oscillation, allows to channel the activity and
facilitates greater concentration and centering. There is a greater ability to focus on what is done
at each moment. In the concrete, this is manifested in that, apparently, fewer things are done but,
instead, there is more discipline and those that are done are finished. There are fewer open fronts
and more self-mastery in being able to do one thing at a time, not as before, when there was a
belief that we could do several simultaneously.
The world has ceased to be a great market of extraordinary occasions that must be taken
advantage of, where, the more you take, the more you have and enjoy. Although this caused a lot
of excitement and enthusiasm due to the large number of scenarios that opened, the emotional
cost was high due to the dispersion and anxiety it causes due to the difficulty of not being able to
be in all the scenarios at once and having to give up something. Faced with this dispersion by the
multi-possibilities and by the quantity of experiences, the concrete appears, the routine, the
discipline, the austerity, valuing the situations of greater quality and depth.
Now, the great and tempting external world has been reduced to a smaller realm: home,
work, family, some relationships, spirituality, and little else. The focus of attention is directed
more inward than outward. From looking at and prioritizing the external, the public, the outside,
has gone on to value the internal, the personal, less spectacular and luminous on the outside but
more own, more intimate, simple and deep. There is a change in the rule of measuring, by
appreciating more what you have instead of what is missing or going to be missed. It causes
more discomfort the loss of what already has to give up the possible, however interesting it may
seem. It's a more conservative one. As the saying goes, ―better bird in hand than a hundred
flying.‖
In a way, it is not only about being able to sustain one's own desire, the impulse, the
trigger that triggered voracity, but also that same desire has been focused on other interests. The
excitement produced by consuming many experiences has been transformed into the tranquility
of savoring fewer experiences but with more depth. Opportunism has been reduced by
discovering that what really attracted me was the excitement of everything new. It is not that
more was needed before, but that it was digested worse, simply because there was no time to do
the digestion. Now, although it is less quantity, it gets more to the bottom, deepens and takes
advantage of more.
The change also has to do with acting without so many expectations and without putting
so much excitement in the action or self-suggestion that what will be done will be so exciting
and spectacular; a self-confidence is required in the face of that search for intensity and the extra
in everything, in addition to maintaining a lower level of activation, of excitement. Actually, it's
about sustaining monotony, routine, custom. That promising future that one sells oneself is no
longer credible. Automatically, more attention is paid to the real, to the present. The sexual seven
acts like the one who arrives at a pastry shop and asks for a little of everything to try everything,
and even eats mixing the different flavors. Thus, the nuances are not distinguished, and
satisfaction consists only in having tried everything, in not having missed anything. Now I enjoy
eating a single whole cake and savoring it. In short, I feel more satisfied.
One of the most outstanding aspects has been to discover silence, understood as a
decrease in internal noise, a decrease in interaction with the outside world and a work of
attention and filtration of perceptions.
On the one hand, this decrease in noise allows me to soothe the constant and permanent
mental effervescence and effervescence, until I reach a point of centering in which the mind is
more collected on itself. In this way, it is possible to be less trapped by external stimuli, less
tempted to peck at what the world offers. Today I am more in control of my own perceptions and
the direction that the focus of attention takes. Although the senses are open, seeing, hearing,
feeling, and the mind perceives it, it does not go after such perceptions.
In this internal place of silence, in addition to being able to become independent and
detach from external noises (not only auditory but from any type of stimulus), new internal
noises are not generated (thoughts, fantasies, strategies). Of course, all this has to do with less
talking, both of words outward and also in terms of one's own inner discourse: literally, thinking
less.
It also opens a space of greater listening to what is there. Instead of being so active in the
uptake of sensory stimuli or in the apprehension of concepts and ideas, there is a greater
receptivity; searching gives way to simply finding. In the mere fact of stopping trying to achieve
something, much of the effort disappears and, consequently, the excitement and anxiety that
clouds one's own perception of reality. The less you do and the less you react, the more things
flow. It is a bit paradoxical in the sense that one leaves the ―I‖, but, instead, one finds oneself
more. A self less protagonist, less summit, but more open, quiet, wide and free. It is as if one had
withdrawn from the foreground of the stage of the experience, where he tried to control and
direct everything, to now take a kind of step back and place himself on a second level, more as a
spectator, letting life flow without so much manipulative and interested intervention. From this
withdrawal from the protagonism arises a kind of sixth sense, of intuition that guides and directs
to where the energy is and moves in each moment. It also favors contemplation and facilitates
greater freedom of movement. From there, almost any activity or sensation becomes a form of
connection and contact with oneself.
Another noteworthy aspect is the stillness. In a very simple way, stillness resembles
having discovered an intimate place where you can stop, be doing nothing and rest. There arises
a sense of generalized tranquility, as if the engine revolutions had slowed down. There is less
activity, both of thoughts and sensations and at the body level. It is an awareness of the extra
excitement, of effort that was being put into life without a specific objective and the wear and
tear that it entailed: the more you ran, the longer it took to get to you do not know where.
Stillness is having discovered that place where you can rest your head, rest and relax
almost indefinitely, because everything has a relative importance and transcendence. This
stillness springs from the decrease of so much analytical process, judgment and mental
contaminations of good/evil, adequate or not adequate, and so on. There are no longer so many
extremes, everything has a place and you do not have to worry so much. It reduces the duality
and division between the doer and the action. The one who constantly observes, asks and
questions is more blurred; thus, the activity changes and the action itself occupies the whole
consciousness. Ultimately, there is a greater acceptance of what is happening in each moment. It
is a certain pasotism that, unlike indulgence, is not avoidant but connects with something similar
to a whole is fine, nothing is missing, nothing has to be done, and to a feeling complete, full and
satisfied in the here and now.
With this relativization of reality, in which it does not matter so much what the
perception itself is, but how and from where it is perceived, attachment and the need to reach, to
reach, solve or clarify anything is reduced. Likewise, voracity changes and is no longer so
aggressive or wild. Of course, the impulse and the desire to swallow continues, but they can be
sustained more easily, placing themselves in the center of oneself, where everything becomes
more relative, relaxed and with less pretensions. The road has become more spacious and with
fewer references.
This process and experience of letting oneself be carried away by this new sense of smell
has to do, precisely, with being purely in the present, open and fused with what happens. And so
this present becomes bigger, opens up enormously, as if entering another very subtle dimension.
Although it can be perceived, it is impossible to describe it because in the act of trying that
opening is interrupted and the self returns to the foreground. In the instant, no assessment of the
experience can be made, the present cannot be apprehended.
This stillness is not forced, rigid or frozen, but is fluid: movement is recognized from
rest. When riding a bicycle, stability and balance are achieved with the movement itself, and
trying to stay totally still is when you fall. The flow of ideas and perceptions does not distract
from stillness but increases with the recognition of one's thoughts. If you try to freeze
consciousness and attention, they are blocked, if you let them oscillate freely with an observant
consciousness, they stabilize on their own.
This simplicity also involves taking excitement, embellishments, and fireworks away
from things. The experience in particular and life in general are less transcendental and
spectacular than one thinks. It reduces that constant attempt to inject an extra excitement and
suggestion to make the experience more interesting or valuable than it actually is. The volume of
life is lowered. It becomes more natural, more spontaneous, less far-sighted and anticipatory with
what could happen. It stops planning or mounting successful strategies permanently before any
event.
Finally, simplicity is also about being a little beyond divided consciousness. Each time,
the different aspects of life are less fragmented and separated: family, work, people, spirituality.
There is a more holistic and global functioning between the different areas.
Parallel to devotion, humility and compassion arise. On the one hand, it implies looking
more at the other, seeing it, taking it into account, perceiving that others also have their needs,
sufferings, interests. Realize that they are another me. On the other hand, it has to do with being
less self-focused, less interested in oneself, less capricious, less child, and with being able to
value and feel more satisfied with what there is: being less profitable and opportunistic when
taking into account the interests of others and not thinking unilaterally about one's own. Put
another way, humility and compassion have to do with being more aware of narcissism and its
ally, picaresque. We must realize how difficult it is for us to put the other first, give in, or simply
see and take into account others, because immediately the strategy always appears to get ahead
and not run out.
Change comes from recognizing and deepening what is behind that search for greatness,
for interest, to profit for oneself. On the one hand, there is the feeling of feeling small, insecure
and, to some extent, in inferior conditions. On the other hand, there is a great distrust that the
authority will be fair and provide security and protection. With such a way of thinking, it seemed
more reliable to become one's own reference, one's own authority, with an interested sense of
justice, security and self-protection. An E7 has its mind programmed towards survival and
cunning. Almost at any opportunity the thought and plan of how to get something of benefit
appears.
The antidote is commitment to oneself and to what one wants and desires, is to give
oneself permission to be transparent and honest, expressing more clearly what one wants or what
bothers oneself. You can express the clearest demands and also sustain more the frustration of
one's own desire and lack. This honesty and transparency with oneself and with the world is the
antidote to rebellion and hidden conspiracy.
The general feeling is of maturity, of becoming more adult, serious, sensible and
judicious. Stop feeling like a child dependent on the world to assume the obligations and tasks,
become more present and competent in the world, and understand responsibility not as a burden
or a weight, but as a freedom to be able to choose and decide for oneself.
In my process, I have gone from feeling blocked for fear of rejection, to not being
adequate, to not knowing exactly how to behave (as if there were a right way, a being up to the
task, at a certain level that you are not sure to achieve) to trusting me more and giving me more
credibility, without so much invalidating and neutralizing judgment, without so much doubt or
fear.
This represents a liberation at a very essential level that has to do with giving oneself
permission to be as one is, without criticism, without judgment, with effortless acceptance. It is a
genuine permission that is born from no doubt: you do not have to choose anything. There is no
choice between better or worse, right or wrong, the permission starts from before the dilemma
itself. The action emerges as a spring that simply springs up without wondering if it is better to
flow to the left or to the right.
Maturity implies greater resistance to pain and frustration. Instead of stopping to feel the
lack, the typical trap of sexual E7 is that the frustration of not having something is replaced by a
rosy fantasy that satisfies in a substitute way. Such is the mental insistence with logical
arguments that support the fantasy that, in advance, you begin to enjoy it. This means a
disconnection from the feeling of discomfort caused by lack: the illusion is built not to assume it,
and also progressively loses consciousness of reality, to the point that, crawling more and more
between the lies themselves, the sexual seven becomes unable to distinguish fantasy from reality.
The interruption of this avoidant cycle is achieved when the impulse of one's own desire
is sustained without necessarily acting it, both in its aspect of attraction to the new and
stimulating and in the avoidance of the unpleasant, of frustration, of the painful. Patience,
serenity, temper have grown. Being able to sustain the craving and desire with greater tolerance,
calmness and fortitude, and not allowing oneself to be altered so easily by external
circumstances, is one of the great fruits. Solidity manifests itself in internal stability and external
perseverance. It is as if willpower has been invigorated and strengthened. There is more
diligence, discipline, determination, to the point of being able to stay in the routine, the
repetitive, the boring and reluctant.
The way of entering this internal stop, that rest and tranquility, consists in the connection
and discovery of the body as another place of the self in which to be. This starts by getting out of
your head, stopping being cognitive all the time. To do this, you have to become the owner of
your own desire, to be able to hold the craving, the appetite, the craving. At first, it was
especially difficult to sustain the impulse of always having to genitalize and sexualize
relationships, especially with women, whom I always looked for as an element of excitement,
novelty, activation, and also of recognition, validation, and so on. After this better management
of sexual desire, comes the domestication of temptation before other different stimuli, for
example with drugs and altered states of consciousness, or with the consumerist and sweet desire
of any type of experiences that could produce excitement, enthusiasm and novelty, and that are
also usually used by the sevens as an avoidance of unpleasant sensations. Finally, it serves to be
able to sustain the neurotic attraction of always going after one's own thoughts, sensations and
perceptions. And that's a very subtle aspect of the process.
Thought and planning are concretized and systematized, they are more real and less
cosmic. Effort and energies are focused more methodically, with greater diligence, perseverance
and determination. This greater presence and involvement in what is done allows us to use
strategy and programming as a search for greater commitment and not as avoidance, flight or
opportunism. For this, it is useful to trust that happiness is in working in the present moment and
is obtained step by step and little by little, not suddenly or avidly.
In this sense, honesty and transparency are fundamental. On the one hand, with greater
contact and awareness of what you feel, want and need at all times and, on the other, with greater
self-confidence and integrity in showing it and governing yourself from it, expressing both what
you do not like and gratitude and recognition to Others. This implies being more confrontational,
direct and clear, instead of moving from the rear, from the occult, the manipulative, the boycott
or the rebellion typical of E7. It would have to do with assuming oneself as the authority and
becoming responsible for one's own life. That is, to develop more seriousness, commitment and
presence not only before others but, mainly, before oneself, before one's own sensations, desires,
objectives.
It helps on this path to be able to hold and look at pain, frustration and unpleasant
sensations. Be more in touch with your own dissatisfactions while valuing what you have. Seek
more satisfaction in the real, in the quality and depth of life than in quantity and variety. Trust
more in what life brings instead of moving from fear and dread to lack, to dissatisfaction and,
from that trust, give up the preventive strategy. It also helps to generate a solid internal self-
confidence, relying on one's own resources and recognizing limitations, instead of appealing to
the false tranquility and disinvolvement of relying on improvisation and that things will resolve
themselves, which is still an avoidant behavior.
It serves to be in life with greater tranquility, simplicity, simplicity and even naivety, as
opposed to the messy, murky, branched and rolled up that there is in a sexual seven. It is
convenient to look for more spaces without filling anything, more downtime without external or
internal activity. Of course, this means more silence, fewer words and more listening. The goal is
to live without avoiding anything that arises or appears, without fleeing to an idyllic future so
typical of this planning character.
The spirituality of a transformed sexual seven is not so fantastic or ideal but more
practical and materialized in concrete facts and actions. For example, it is possible to develop
generosity, collaborations and more altruistic and selfless tasks, as well as greater devotional
dedication and compassion based on really seeing the other for himself, not as a means of
fattening one's ego for ―how good I am‖.
In the process, a more open and clean sense of humor and optimism, less ironic, escapist
and hurtful, understood not as another mechanism of defense and aggression but as a form of
detachment and lightness before life, has been awakened in me. It is an ability to enjoy and to
make others enjoy with a contagious optimism from transparency and honesty.
It is not that the ego and neurosis have stopped doing theirs, but their antics and
escapades are less and less annoying, because the character is less indomitable. Like those dogs
that have a very long leash, with a mechanism that allows the owner to give a pull at any time to
pick up the rope and get the dog to come. Depending on the situation, the leash is longer or
shorter, but the dog is always governed. I observe a distancing and distancing from neurotic
impulses and habits, but not from repression but from the awareness of their existence.
Sometimes, I also have the ability to harness them as seeds in order to develop more awareness
and attention. It is not, therefore, a question of avoiding anything, but of integrating and better
managing what is there.
Therefore, one of the first tips to therapists who attend to sexual sevens is none other than
to make them note the importance of creating a favorable climate for the development of
perseverance, patience and commitment to therapy so that the process can develop. From there, it
can be helpful to periodically re-contract sessions in packages of a certain number. This will
allow, on the one hand, to carry out mini-processes with their proper integration and closure. On
the other hand, we will ensure that the process is not interrupted suddenly with a getaway from
flight or rebellion, and we will leave the door open so that, if you wish, you can resume the
process at another time. With this, we will give you enough space and flexibility so that you can
enter and leave with certain margins of freedom.
It is also very useful to generate some of your own curiosity. Leave you a little hungry
from one session to the next. In this way, we will take advantage of their own gluttony,
insinuating or showing them that there is a better place than the one they inhabit psychologically
and that they can achieve something more essential than what they live.
Before a sexual E7 it is necessary, in fact, to find the middle ground between a clear,
concise and firm therapeutic frame, and a certain softness, delicacy and spaciousness to favor its
confidence. If very strong and rigid limits are imposed on him, he will stop therapy; if the
boundaries are very soft, it will tend to invade the therapist's space and escape the process. It is
important to find the balance so that you do not invade, so that you respect the therapy and do
not confuse the therapist with a friend; at the same time, it is also necessary that you feel an
atmosphere of tranquility, encouragement and confidence, so that you enter little by little and get
to open up and let yourself fall into pain. All this will mean a constant tug-of-war in which you
will have to be reminded of the limits during almost the entire treatment. It will be a process of
continuous but very delicate confrontation, a soft fight with a lot of welcome and protection for
when it begins to fall. It will be necessary to give it space so that it can be shown without
dragging the therapist, seducing him and deceiving him with his confusions. It will be something
like letting them believe they have the power. This give and take, certainly, wears down the
therapist a lot, because the sexual E7 will put the limits that we mark to test constantly.
The challenge is the intellectual side, rationalization as a defense mechanism. You have
to take enough distance not to get hooked on their games, traps and mental filigrees. You have to
put everything in the sieve to try to differentiate the roll of experience, the manipulation of
authenticity, fantasy from reality. It is about the sexual seven learning little by little to be silent
and to listen to each other from other levels. In this sense, body work usually goes very well to
silence the continuous mental noise.
It is necessary to capture their confidence from the ability to welcome their pain, their
sensitivity and fragility. It will take us to transmit security, tranquility and encouragement so that
they go as far as they can, communicate to them that it is better a little, as long as it is genuine,
rather than wanting to advance a lot with falsehood. We must support genuine authenticity,
honesty and transparency. We will help them to get in touch with the feeling of what they have
not had, of what they have lacked, lowering them from the fantasy of having everything and
facilitating their contact with pain.
This entry into the pain — the descent into the pit — is usually a very delicate moment in
the process. It has to do with remembering and crying for the past, for childhood. It is an
awareness of the self-deception in which they have been immersed and the time they have lost. It
is an awareness of vulnerability, insecurity, fear, the feeling of abandonment and loneliness. At
this point, you will need a lot of welcome, understanding, encouragement and hope that the path
is to continue there. At that point resistance may appear in the form of delays and faults until,
directly, he escapes so as not to return. Therefore, it is important to have previously developed a
solid and genuine bond based on trust. At this time it is important to root it, in the sense that it
finds internal supports different from reason: therapy will be an internal (and external) place
where it can stop, deposit. In any case, depressive states are a sign that the process is moving
forward.
Finally, it should be noted that it is necessary not to miss one of the manipulations of a
seven. As they become involved and gain trust with the therapist, it is necessary to denounce
them more and more rigorously. It doesn't matter that he believes he is in control of therapy, as
long as he doesn't use it to assault or to run away with an expression of rebellion. In such a case,
it will be necessary to uncover this game progressively, to thwart it, so that each time a greater
honesty can be expressed in the therapeutic field.
Suffice it to add that, as an effective resource, it may be useful to use its same
mechanism: a sense of humor and irony, taking into account that it is an area that the seven
generally handle very well.
E7 Conservation (Self-Preservation) – Family
It is usually easier to recognize a sexual or social seven than a conservation seven. To refer to
him, Ichazo used the phrase „the guardian of the castle‖. He also uses the word „castle‖ for the
five conservation — I preferred to use the word refuge, lair. But what is the meaning of the
phrase „the guardian of the castle‖?
The E7 conservation is the person who makes alliances. Family could be an alternative
word. But not in the true sense of the term, which is full of positive connotations. The word
family describes an aspect of life. But, in the specialized vocabulary about the ego, there is a
kind of family game that can be played. In it, the seven conservation build relationships with
people based on ideas such as: „I will be family to you and I demand that you be family to me‖,
„let's get together, I will serve you and you will serve me‖, „together, we can create a good mafia
together‖...
I drop the word smuggling because this type of behavior can lead to cunning. It is a clear
partisanship. There is an element of corruption very present in it. Self-interest, selfishness, is
behind this alliance, even if it appears to be denied. Naturally, every ego form relies on a lie that
makes it appear that it is not there. That is why confession is so good, so interesting for the work
of the conscience — especially when the confession is public, because that is how one realizes
that one can go on with everything, remain the same.
So the conservation E7 is the opportunist, the person who has to find advantages, to
profit. It is as if a threat to conservation hangs over him that has to be compensated. Therefore,
gluttony, in this case, is expressed as an excessive concern to get out of this threat to
conservation by making good deals and deals with every opportunity.
A friend of mine was a dentist for part of his life. He seemed like a kind, friendly,
talkative person. Some are very fond of the dental profession because they have each other's
mouths shut all the time, so they can talk and talk as much as they want. Surely you have met
very talkative dentists. They may not realize it - unconsciousness plays tricks. And it is typical of
the seven conservation groups that they like to do something with their hands, something useful
for others. They are practical.
Talking and talking, the seven conservation soon discovers the other person's
weaknesses. „I have seen that you have bought a new car, how are you doing?‖, Says the dentist,
„Well, it is an excellent car, I am very happy with it‖ – answers the patient – „but unfortunately I
have to sell it‖. „Ah, well‖ – the dentist takes advantage of it – „then I'll buy it for you!‖
It seems that with the seven conservation there is no conversation that does not lead to
business. You do instant business because your mind is so alert to opportunity that you never
miss it. His position is that of one who thinks that if you are not alert, if you do not keep your
nose in contact with the wind to capture opportunities, you will be a loser.
„Until recently I thought I was born weighing six kilos and in a normal time. Later I
found out that in reality the kilos were not exactly six, but 5,800, and that the reason was that I
had been born after ten months of pregnancy. I believe that three of the main elements of my
character constitution are contained in this anecdote: the sense of deception (and the diffuse
awareness of self-deception), the retroactive compulsion to the womb (where it seems that I
spent a month too long) and the fantasy of grandeur.‖
This state is often accompanied by ―addictions to alcohol, drugs and other excesses that also
invite me to anesthetize.‖
The seven conservations seem to have, then, a self constituted as a kind of I-you
interestedly eroticized by the mother, in the case of men, and by the father in the case of women.
In the first case, the father does not occupy the paternal role because he is subject to the mother,
due to excessive authoritarianism or because he is perceived as weak; so there is no good law.
The norm, the limits, are not reliable. In the case of women, there seems to be a father-not-father,
a father who does not make it sufficiently clear that his wife is the mother and not the daughter
(who is usually daddy's girl).
―At the age of thirteen I made a trip to France that marked me deeply. I spent a month in
the house of an old neighbor on the street, whose parents, Spanish immigrants, hated the Spanish
and loaded on me, I suppose, all the resentment accumulated by years of hardship and effort. For
me it was the first strong blow I remember. The image I had of myself and of the world
collapsed.
First of all, I was smaller than my friend at an age where the differences are quite
significant. Also, I was fat, so the girls didn't like me, I had to speak in a language I didn't know
and practice activities such as sailing or horse riding, which were totally new to me. I felt a lot of
ridicule, a lot of shame, a lot of loneliness and, today I know, I accumulated a lot of resentment
against the world and against my family for having sent me there. It's also true that I got a lot
smarter, and much of what I learned there has been very useful to me in life... But I think I
swallowed too much without chewing, and I was left artificially alone without realizing it.
It turns out that this brilliant and apparently well-liked boy was a clumsy ball of tallow.
That the world I knew was only one of the possible worlds, and everything that had been easy for
me became terribly difficult or almost impossible. It turned out that that child so praised because
he was very well behaved, always said yes, got good grades, did not get into too many pranks...
and very particularly he ate everything and a lot (which was the summum in the scale of family
values at that time ); it turned out that that wasn't the only me that inhabited me. And at that time,
that meant that it was not me, since I could only be one. So it was logical to conclude that
someone had deceived me, that things did not add up. I remember that he wrote to my parents
daily and in none of the postcards was I able to tell them how bad it was going or, of course, ask
them to come pick me up. He was in shock and was not able to realize it. Nor was I able to
dismantle the fantasy that before going to France we had made in the family: that everything
would be wonderful and very exciting, of course: once again, rosy.‖
One of the evidences of the process is that „the way of building families to feel alive
disappears; I continue with them, but now I allow myself to have my own real family.‖
Likewise, the flight—often unconscious—from the dysphoric, from loneliness, from the
unpleasant, from emptiness, from boredom, from what little is left behind: „the desire to
constantly experience new things to avoid boredom and fill my time‖, affirms a seven
conservation; not touching unpleasant emotions, the feeling of already because life is over,
impatience, the need for everything to be okay permanently; „The excessive noise in my life,‖
adds another conservationist; „Believing that I am so good and generous, that I help so much,
believing that everyone depends on me, instead of me depending on them,‖ concludes another.
Another important change consists of the distinction between desire and need —
fundamental—, which had been confused from the beginning. We had counted ourselves and
others our own desires as needs. And, in reality, we really need little, although much can be
desired.
It helps to let go of the dictatorship of „this yes, this no, imperatively‖, and also to
develop greater flexibility: to stay in the „...or not‖. It helps not to have to discriminate a priori
between the allegedly euphoric and the allegedly dysphoric; stop clinging to the first and
terrifyingly fleeing (and covertly) from the second. Access to sadness, emptiness, rage without
justification, when feeling one's own evil.
―Questioning myself, being critical, leaves me alone, connects me with reality; Being
concrete, serenity, walking slowly and enjoying it relaxes me. The more insignificant things are,
the better. For example, I feel great pleasure sorting waste for recycling, placing it in the right
places and feeling responsible and supportive. The routine gives me peace, knowing that, if I
want, I can escape from it.‖
―When I give myself permission to feel the experiences in depth, I feel ecstatic and
happy, positive with the benefits that the cosmos offers me.‖
―It is emerging, serenity. The awareness of ‘this is what it is‘. And I enjoy it. Before, it
was more difficult for me to remain in things as they are.‖
―[It appears] the need to be with me more, the need to be truly present and connected
with what I feel, and the feeling that enough is enough, that it is okay with what there is. I also
try to stick to the Buddhist principle that ‘if you are not happy now, right now, you will never
be‘. And I lean on it as the only truth that exists, because I have spent my life chasing a
fantasized happiness that was always to come: I thought that the next thing would always be
better than what I have now.‖
What is the use of transforming
My general impression is that what is most helpful is being able to meet someone (a therapist, a
teacher, sometimes a friend) who combines knowing how to say ―no‖ clearly, and who can
provide support in falling. ―No‖, then, to games, traps, manipulations... That person will be a
wall to crash against as well as a loving company, sometimes silent, always close in the collapse,
that allows the discovery of what has been avoided, making it possible for me without
experiencing it as a catastrophe: silence, loneliness , nothingness, sadness, rage, evil...
―In the summer of 1988 I took my first SAT Program course, and it turned out to be the
beginning of a long crisis that would last until the summer of 1993: the crisis that I have seen
repeated after in different ways in many people when they focus on work. with character. They
were five very hard, very intense years, during which I felt at least twice in a very clear way the
border between being alive and being dead. That is to say, I felt very clearly the desire to be
dead. They were years in which I discovered aspects of myself that I did not even suspect, such
as feeling absolutely foolish for things in which I had always felt capable, or how to see the
many bad host that was inside me and the aggressive acting that accidental mistakes can mean,
jokes, forgetfulness or self-forgetfulness.‖
―There I felt that someone broke me and that someone contained me at the same time;
that someone hit me and someone healed me; that someone moved me and that someone quieted
me in the most intimate. That everything was breaking, breaking... And there he was, Memo, and
them (Paco, Antonio, Cheriff, Juanjo...), and them (Annie, Graciela, Use, Silvia...). And
Claudius. During the fall and winter of '88-'89 I thought I was going crazy. Seen from now
(January 1993), I think magical thinking shot through my head, anguish shot through my heart,
and paralysis shot through my body. I became paranoid and I entered into the most terrible panic
that I have felt since I was fourteen [...]. I, Alberto Rams, ‘famous therapist known throughout
the South of Europe‘, was scared shitless. I remember that he was not even able to call the travel
agency to book tickets. Everything was a huge effort, even the most absolute trifle. I felt unable
to write the smallest note or letter, and any phone call scared me. Actually, I was totally guilty,
but I didn't know it then...‖
―Decrease activity, contact the body as an end and as a means to reach emotion. Specify,
dimension. Making the resolution to be punctual, in my case, has led me to respect the other, to
take him into account, to see him and take care of myself. It helps to understand before finding
something inside myself, confrontation, taking the risk of being direct, of being mean. Open your
eyes, see reality, see the present without making it up, acceptance, silence, loneliness. Believing
that there is something bigger than me, spirituality.‖
―For me, above all, [it helps] to hold my emotions, not to run away from what happens to
me, from what I feel (shame, anger, discomfort, frustration); Dare to say what is happening to
me, how I feel, what I think, what I want to do, even if this leads to conflict. Behind that fear of
conflict there is always pain and fear of rejection.‖
―[It serves me] to let myself rock and fall into pain. Loneliness helps me to be able to be
with myself and then lose myself less in others. The more I stop running from myself, the less I
trade with others. Don't stay superficial, go deeper. Realize that I use people.‖
―The observation. Something of self-absorption (which Ortega said). The therapy. The
meditation. The lonely spaces. Contemplation without judgment. The silence of the field.‖
―Letting myself be carried away by anxiety, doing and doing without conscience, starting
many things and not finishing anything, letting myself be overcome by boredom, not accepting
the reality of life as it is and letting myself be carried away by the idea that life can be rosy.‖
―Always blame the other and not take responsibility for mine. Turn to my capricious
inner child. Avoiding conflicts — how difficult it is for me to face them, especially when there is
no intimacy and my image as a good person is in danger.‖
―I have lived something that has given me too much dispersion, that fed me the most
unconscious and the least authentic. It is a kind of permission for everything goes, for everything
is allowed. I have needed to set my own limits, but without a doubt it has also helped me to see
limits from others, from the everyday world.‖
―That space, so nutritious for others, which favors the expression of the internal,
creativity, spontaneity and other facets of the individual, led me a bit to lose myself. I'm not
saying it's not useful, but it's of little use to me. However, I can work with it easily. I can use the
most instinctive, basic and spontaneous in favor of the internal work of others. But, to me, what
is most concise, clear and simple favors me, against other explosions of being.‖
―Meditation as contact with myself and reality attack is essential. The practice of a space
for the spiritual, for the divine path, to believe and surrender to something more than myself or
my supposed desires, makes me feel like a better person‖.
―The silence.‖
―Nature.‖
―Say no. Do things slowly. Take care of plants. Do things where later there are no
rewards of any kind. To meditate.‖
―It is favorable to me to make decisions and carry them out. Creating self-programs and
fulfilling them (to avoid the tendency to dispersion). Commit and fulfill the commitment. Reflect
before acting. Try to act with the maximum emotional sincerity possible. See others.‖
And no, of course: not everything is a lie. There is honor, there is what it is in itself, and
not because it is used for anything in particular...
We also need to understand that the limit, the no, that we can be healthy, because it not
only limits gluttony, but also because it protects. Like the border, which marks a „no there―, but
also a „here yes... it's my home... my country‖.
„The world was not made in two days nor will it end in three. That without me it doesn't
end either. Everything doesn't have to be so intense to be alive and happy. It helps to discover
that there is the small, the insignificant, from within.‖
―That pain, sadness, loneliness and boredom do not kill: they are part of life and enrich.
That you can be comfortable with reality. That not everything is worth just to be well. That I am
a slave to my ideas and to an enneagram to psychology that I am making bigger and bigger in
order not to contact what I don't like. That pain and love go together. That the shield against pain
is only removed with pain. That pain and suffering, in the long run, bring me closer to people
and to myself.‖
―The beautiful gift that is life. Nothingness as the beginning and end of all things.‖
―[...] I feel more concise and with less need for external recognition. The professional
style that began appearing as something very disproportionate, very strident and very garish [...]
has been gaining refinement and calm. I still have the sense of smell to detect the false that then
sprouted so brutally, but I no longer have as much need to use it to show off. Or, simply, I give
myself the opportunity to shut it up to the extent that I can distinguish what it is that I really want
at that moment and, above all, what I am willing to accept. I can be confrontational without
being violent. And, above all, I have been developing the experience of being in a heart that did
not live before, or that did not live in that way; that shows itself professionally, sometimes, as the
grace to touch people's souls in ever simpler ways. However, I feel the weight of the years of
work, I feel less passionately interested in it, and I tire more easily...‖