MOTHER'

SHATRED 

PROLOGUE 
.
.
.
Hecontinuedpoundi ngmev er
yhardf orget
ting
I'
m al
soHuman. Hehadnomer cyonme
,Whenev erhewant edmet oscream ormay be
moan, hewoul dgrabmyweav ev eryhardsoI
wouldscr eam inagony .
..AsstrongasIam , I
foundmysel fver
yweak. Icoul
dn'tholditin
anymore. .It
riedt
obi tmyt rembli
ngl owerli
p
butwhowasIt oignorethepainIwasi n.Aloud
sobescapedmyl ips.Butdi dhestop?No!
IthankedtheAlmi
ghtywhenhegotofmeand
walkedtotheensui
tbathr
oom t
odisposethe
condom andcamebackandsplashedcold
wateralloverme.
"
Thi
swi
l
lhel
prel
axy
ou!
"Hesai
d

Isatatthecornerofthebed,huggi
ngmylegs
andcontinuedsobbingsil
ent
ly.
.Hewal
kedout
againandcamebacki nhi
ssuit
s.
"
Konjehowmuchisit?"heaskedtaki
nghi
s
wal
l
etoutandcount
ingafewnot es 
"I
t'
sR1500si
r"myvoi
cewasf
ail
i
ngmebutI
'
m
gl
adheheardme 
Sir
:"
I'
m deduct
ingR500f
rom i
t.Youwer
enot
perf
ormingwell"
Het
hrewt
hemoneyatMe 
"
That
hamakgosha(
Takepr
ost
it
ute)
 
Hewal
kedout.
.
Mom camer
ushi
ngi
n 
Mama:
"Wher
e'smymoney?
" 
Ipickeditupandsl
owlygaveitt
oher.
Shesaw
thetearsinmyeyes,butshecoul
dn'
tdowhat
ever
ymot
herwoul
ddo,
SHECOULDN'
T
COMFORTME!
Shecount
edt
hemoneyandgav
emeanEv
il
l
ook 
Mama:
"Wher
e'st
her
estoft
hemoney?
"
Ikeptqui
et
Her
:"
Wher
e'si
twenanj
a?"
Me:
"I
..
Hedi
dn'
tgi
veme"
Her:
"Youwerenotdoingwhatyouwere
supposedtodo.Iam l
osi
ngcli
entsbecauseof
you!Yi
niKant
i?"Shewasshouti
ng 
Ikeptqui
et 
Her:
"Iwon'
ttoler
atethi
s.Getupandpr
epare
yoursel
fforyournextcl
ient!
"Shewal
kedout
aft
ersayi
ngthat!.

WherewasGodwhenal
lofi
thappenedmar
a
heeh?
I
sn'
thesupposedtopr
otectmel
i
kehe
pr
omisedi
nthebibl
e.
Myownmother
,mybi
ologi
calmot
herhas
t
urnedmei
ntoapr
ost
it
ute..

Mynamei sBoi tumel oMokoena. 25y ear sof

agebutIhav enot hingIwoul dbepr oudt oshow
thewor l
dt hatthis, thi
swasmysuccess. The
onlyt hi
ngIhav einmynamei smymat ri
c
certif
icateofwhi chIdidn' tpasswel l
becauseI
nev ergotal lthesuppor tfrom mymot her.My
fatherdiedwhenIwas14y ears.May beifhe
wasst i
llali
veIwoul dn'tbeher e. Iknowf orsur e
thathewasgoi ngt opr otectmebecauseGod
himsel fhasf ail
edme. ..Mymot herownsa
Mor guewhi chissuccessf ul andknownt obe
thebestmor guei nAf r
ica. ..
Mymom hasmoney
whi chmostofi tsheear nsi tfrom ani ghtclub
wher eshet urnedy ounggi rl
stopr ostitut
es. She
onlyhast wodaught ers, myl itt
lesi ster
Boineelowhowet ur
ntobesameage( you'
ll
understandwhent hestor
ycontinues).
She
tr
eatsBoi neel
oalotdif
fer
entfr
om howshe
tr
eatsme. Unl
ikeme, Boi
neel
oisn'taprousti
te
butpet t
yshehasadaught erwhoi s9yearsthi
s
yearandasonwhomom gav eawayf or
adoptionfeari
ngwhatpeoplemi ghtsay..
..

Backt othestor
y.Imanagedt oenter
tai
n5
cli
entsandsleptwiththr
eeandlateronwasmy
nightoff.Atl
eastIwouldmakemyownmoney
thenbecausemymot herdoesn'
tordidn'
tpay
me.
Accor
dingt
oherwor
ds,
"HOW CANIPAYYOU
WHILEIFEDYOUANDGAVEYOUASHELTER?"
_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___

"Run!
!!
"Kwenashouted.Ihadtorunf
aster
becausehewasrunningaftermeandsurel
y
appr
oachi
ngme.
 
Inolongerhadthestr
engthinmebutIhadto
forcemyselft
or unbecausethebagwest
ole
from hi
m wasgonnabemyt i
ckett
oahappy
andf r
eeli
fe.

ButwhowasIki
ddi
ng?
Hecaughtupwi t
hmeandpunchedmehar don
thefacemakingmel osebal
anceandf al
lonmy
back...
Icoveredmyf acewithmyhands
expecti
ngthewor standmor efr
om him but
howhegr oanedmademel i
ftmyheadupand
stareathi
m. Hishandheldonhi sback,Hewas
bleedi
ngthroughawhi teshi
rt,Kwenastabbed
him.
Hef
ell
andsl
owl
yshuthi
sey
es.
 
Heseemedli
fel
essbutdi
dIgi
veaf
uck?
Act
uall
yno!
"
Getupandl
et'
sgo,
wehav
eti
me"Kwenasai
d
hel
pingmeupandwet
ookt
hebagandr
an

Thi
siswhoIam andt
hat
'showi
sur
viv
e.

Myli
fehadnev erbeenabedfullofroses.
Deat
hi stheonl
ythingt
hatcouldsav emefrom
al
lofthisbutt
hetruthi
sIfeardeath.
Str
ongisanunderstat
ementofhowIam .
I
sur
viv
edstorms,heavyrai
nfal
l
s,Snows,
fir
e,
vol
canoesandal
l .
IjustthankGodIst il
l dogett
hecour ageto
wakeupi nthemor ningandhav ehopet hatGod
willcomet orescuemeev enifitwasn'
t
yesterdayandisn'ttodayandwon' tbe
tomor rowbutallIhav eInmei sHope. .

Agai
nMynameisBoi
tumel
oMokoenar
idewi
th
measIam t
aki
ngyoutot
hehar
dshi
psofmy
l
if
e..
..
.
MYMOTHER' SHATREDhasl andedmewher eI
am t
odayandithasrippedmyhear toffmeasI
am j
ustapersonwit
hnof eel
ingsatall.My
mothert
ookmyhear tandcrusheditthen
bur
nedit!
!!
.
..
..
 Mymot
her
'shat
red 
[
04/
28,
17:
40]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED

 I
NSERT1

I
nmostcaseswef earlosi
ngourmot hers,
fearinghowourfatherswill
treatus. Yesmost
fathersdocareandt r
eattheirchi
ldrenas
pri
ncessesandt r
eatthem wi thcaretryi
ngbyall
meanst oclosethegapt hatthemot herwould
hav elef
t..
..
.
.
FunnyenoughIwi shtheopposit
eofthat,I
wishmymot herwast heonedead.Myf at
her
wouldn'
thavet reatedmelikethi
s.Iwouldbe
l
ivi
ngmydr eam , dri
vi
ngmydr eam carandmost
cert
ainl
yenjoyingmyl if
etothefull
est.
.
.
I
'mjustahumanbeing,l
iv
ingbythegraceof
Godbecauseifi
twasn'
tbyGrace,IswearI
wouldhavel
onggiv
enuplife.
.
.
"I
sthi
sal
l?"Iaskedaf
tercount
ingt
hemoney
agai
n 
Kwena:
"Yes.
.Inev
ert
houghti
twi
l
lbet
hisl
i
ttl
e" 
Isi
ghedwi
thmymout
hcr
umbl
i
ngl
i
keaused
wr
appi
ngpaper
 
Me:
"DoyouknowIal
mostl
ostmyli
feforthi
s?
Kwenat
hisi
sbull
shi
tmanhowwil
lIsurvi
ve
wi
thonl
yR15000"
Her
:"
Atl
eastwet
ri
ed"
Iwasj ustpi
ssed.
Kwenasaidt
her
ewasmor e
than50ki nt
hebag..
Iri
skedmyli
fet
ryi
ngt
oget
thatcase..
OhIf orgott oint r
oduceKwena, mymi ndi sjust
occupiednj ebutany way.KwenaandImetback
i
nhi ghschool .
Shehasbeenmyf ri
endt hrough
thi
ckandt hin.Herpar ent
sdi sownedherwhen
shewasmat riculati
ngbecauseshef ell
pregnant.Shel ostherbabyI nt hest r
eet s.I
t
wasj usttoomuchf orher.Sher antomy
mot hertocomf ortherbutasy oualreadyknow
mom, shet urnedheri nt
oapr ousti
te.Wedo
wannast opbutwef earmymot her,shewi l
lkil
l
usIknow.
Tr
ustmemymot
heri
scapabl
eofdoi
ngt
hat.
Backt
othest
ory
Myv
odaphoner
angdi
stur
bingoursi
l
ence 
Kwena:
"Kemang(
Whoi
sit)
?
Me:
"Thepr
incessher
sel
f"
Sher
oll
edherey
es 
.
.
Mymother'
shatr
edhaslandedmet ohat
ingmy
ownsi
ster.
IknowIshouldn'
that
eherbutmy
pr
obl
em iswhyshoul
dIbet ur
nedtoa
pr
ost
it
utewhil
emysisterisnot.
Shei
sdr
ivi
ngBMW M3-
Ihav
enocar
 
Mom boughtheranapart
ment-
I'
mleavi
nginthe
pr
ost
itut
esresshari
ngtheroom wi
th9gir
ls 
.
"
Heysi
s"Ianswer
edr
oll
i
ngmyey
es 
Her
:"
Heybabygi
rl.
Wher
ear
eyou?
"
Me:
"Home"meani
ngr
es 
Her:
"Letmet
reaty
ouwi
thdi
nnert
oni
ght?
"
Me:"
Sur
etextmeal
lthedet
ail
s,I
'
llgetbackt
o
you"
Ihungup

.
.
Boineelotri
esbyallmeanst
obuilda
rel
ationshipwit
hmebutIjustcan'
t.Howwil
lI
bui
ldar el
ari
onahi
pwit
hmyy ousiswhenmy
mot hertal
ksbadaboutmet oherever
ychance
sheget s?
_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
__

*
*
*
"Whatwasint
hebag?"Iaskedwhi
lel
eani
ng
comfor
tabl
yonmyoff
icehighchai
r.
Baf
ana:
"Lapt
op,
15kandmycel
l
phone"
Ichuckl
ed 
Me:"Soyoucameal
lthewayher
etot
ell
meof
2cents"
Hel
aughed 
"
Theinfor
mat
ioni
nthel
apt
opman"hi
svoi
ce
t
rembledabi
t.
Ir
ubbedmyt
humbonmynose.
"
Youmeanev
ery
thi
ng?"
Iasked 
Hesl
owl
ynodded 
"FuckBaf
ana!
!"
Icur
sed 
Howcany
oubesor
eckl
ess?
"iasked 
Hekeptqui
et.
Me:
"Weshoul
dfi
ndt
hepeopl
eorper
sonwho
r
obbedy
oubef
orei
tst
ool
ate!
"
Him:"YeahIsawthei
rfacesoneofthem was
thehockerweinv
itedforgrandopeni
ngat
La!quiz
"
Ist
oodup.
"
Gir
ls?Uy
isl
i
mauy
ezwa(
You'
rest
upi
d)!
"
Him:
"Don'
tfor
getI
'
m st
il
lyourbr
otherI
'
llsmack
you"
Ist
oodupandsl
i
dmyhandsi
nmypocket
s

Mynamei sLuthandoTenget i
l
e(28)commonly
knownbyt henicknameTash.Baf anaIsmy
twinbrotherbutunidenti
cal t
winbrot
her.My
mot heri
spur eXhosawhi l
emyf at
herisSwat
i
.Badcombi nat
ionright?Iknow.I'm an
accountantwhilemyBaf anaisanort
hopedi
c
andownshi ssurgery.Ialsodoownawel l
knownpubandgr i
llandlodge.
Most
lyadmi
redbycel
ebr
it
ies.I
'
m an
account
antwi
thcr
iminal
recor
d,Idi
dmy
coursewhi
lei
nPri
son.
IwasinPr
isonf
or5y
ear
sandonpar
olef
or2
year
s.
Iam naught
y, i
fImayputitthatwaybutan
expl
anati
onwillrev
eali
tselfaswer i
detoget
her
.Myparentsaretechni
cal
lydivor
cedbutBafana
andIaresti
ll
usingmyf at
herssurname..

I'
m single,Ijustlovehav i
ngfunandoneni ght
standswhi chist hemai nreasonIhav eababy
withahooker. Mybabyst ayswi thmymot herin
Pretori
awhi l
eIr esidesinSandt on.Themot her
ofmychi l
djustdumpedmychi ldtomymot her
allbecausemychi ldwasgonnadi sturbher
wor k..
.Il
ovemychi ldmor ethanany thi
ngelse
i
nt hiswor l
d.Herandmymot heraretheonly
womanwhom ev erheardthesent enceIlove
youf r
om I...
Agai nI'm Lut
handoTenget i
l
e. .
..
_
___
___
___
___
___
_
[
04/
28,
17:
41]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t2

'
Mybadmemor ieschokemeandst ai
nmy
pil
lowasmydr eamsbecomehollowasItrace
tearl
inesar
oundthisspacewhentheyal
lhaunt
me' -
Unknown 
*
*
'
Iki
l
led,Ir
obbedl
iv
es,Ist
olef
rom hi
m,her,
t
hem .
.Idi
dn'
tmeanto 
Aloneinthedar
k,eyesshut
terasmybad
doingscomebacktohauntme. .
Al
oneinthedar
k,tear
sfor
m asmyfathert
urns
i
nthegravef
orall
mywr ongdoi
ngs 
Di
dImeant
o?NO!
Mymot
her
'shat
redmademedot
hem !
"
-
Boi
tumel
o
*
*

Boi
tumel
o 
Iwasinalongflawlessblackdr
esswit
hsli
don
myrighthi
p,showingi wasn'
twear
ingany
pant
iewithbl
ackst r
appyheals.
..
Mymakeupwasal
soonpoi
ntandmyhai
rwas
wel
ldone.
..
Anuberfet
chedmefrom t
herest
othe
rest
aur
antwhereIwasmeeti
ngmysist
er.
.
Ispottedherwi
tht
wogentl
emanseat
edbyt
he
cornerandcatwal
kedt
othem ,
 
Igreet
edaft
ermaki
ngmysel
fcomf
ort
abl
eon
thechair
 
Boi
neel
o:"Youl
ookgor
geous"Ial
mostr
oll
ed
myeyes 
Me:
"Thanks,
youai
n'
tbadei
ther"
Her:
"Thi
sismyboy f
riendZakes(Theguy
besi
desher)andThomas, ourfr
iend.
..Guy
s
thi
sismysisterBoi
tumelo"
If
akedasmi
l
e..
Ihaveneverbeeninar el
ati
onshipbuttotel
lthe
tr
uthevenifIwas,Iwoul dn'
tsett
lefort
his
ki
ndabullshi
t,i
tsclearmysisterdoesn'
thave
anytast
eatall!
Zakes:
"I'
m pl
easedt
omeety
ou"
Me:
"Li
kewi
se"
Thomas:
"She'
sbeaut
if
ult
hanIhadant
ici
pat
ed.
.
Canweorder?"
Me:
"Sur
e"
Thomas:
"Wai
ter
! 
"

Myt hr
oatbecamever
ydrywhenmyey es
l
andedont hedoor
way..
Icoul
dn'
tbel
i
ev emy
eyeswhenIsawwhowal kedi
n.Myhandsand
feetimmediatel
ysweat.
Iwishedt
heworld
couldjustopenupandswall
owme. ..
Ahand
start
ledmewheni tt
ouchedmebringi
ngme
backt oeart
h
"Areyouokay?
"Ibli
nkedafewti
mesquickl
y
taki
ngThomas'st
equil
ashotandgul
pedit
down 
Boi
neel
o:"
Someone'
sreadyt
opar
ty!
"Shesai
d
l
aughi
ng 
"
Ineedtouset
heladi
es"Iquickl
yst
oodupand
r
ushedtothel
adi
esnotwait
ingfort
hei
r
r
esponse.
..
.
.
.
HowdidIgethere?IthoughtKwenasaidhe
i
sn'
tfr
om SouthAfr
ica..Shesai
dhe'
llbe
t
rav
ell
ingbacktoSwaziland.
..
Whatifhesaw
me!Nonono!
Ipacedal
lar
oundt
her
oom unt
ilsomeguy
wal
kedint
heladi
esbusyt
ypi
ngsomet
hingon
hi
sphone.
..
.
 
Ist
aredathim admi
ri
nghi
sbody..
.Themuscl
e
v-
neckT-shi
rthewaswear
ingshowedhi
sbody
per
fect
ly..
.
Hel
i
fteduphi
sfacewhi
l
esmi
l
ing 
OhmyGodhehasdi mpl
es,ali
tt
lebitbr
own
spar
kli
ngeyesandpinkt
hickl
i
pst hatt
urned
meon. .
.WasIdrool
i
ng?
.
Hebroughtmebackt
oear
thwhenhecl
ear
ed
hi
sthroat
 
"Ar
ey ouawar
eyouar
eint
heguy
'st
oil
ets?
"he
spoke 
Me:
"Uh.
..
uh.
..
no"
*
*Iemot
ional
l
yhi
tmysel
f 
.
..
Iser
iousl
ylookedl
i
keal
ostchi
cken!"
Fuck
Boit
umelostopbei
ngasnob"myi
nnerv
oice
shoutedatme"
Catgotmyt ongue.
Iwal
kedpasthi
mtoavoid
embarrassi
ngmyselfmorebuthewasqui
ckto
st
opmeandhol dmyti
nywaist
 
Him:"
Notsoquick..
You'
rebeaut
iful
youknow?"
Ismil
edhiscol
ognealonej
ustdrovememad
..
Hisli
psweresoclosetomine..
Icouldsmel
lI
l
itt
lebi
tofci
garet
temixedwithmint..
Idon'tknowwhatdrovemet othepointof
bri
ngingmyl i
pstohisbutall
IknowisIkissed
hi
m, Iwasjusthor
ny.Hisl
ipswerecold..
.We
conti
nuedkissingwhil
ehepushedmet ot
he
nearesttoi
l
et..

I
'm usedtoget
ti
nglai
dbyst
ranger
ssoi
twon'
t
bethefir
stt
ime..

Hesl
ammedi
nver
yhar
daf
terput
ti
ngona
protection. .
Hishandswer ebalancingmybutt
whi l
emyl egswer ewrappedar oundhi m..
He
continuedt hrust
inginveryfastwhi l
ehisli
ps
wer ebur i
edi nmine..
Ourbodyt ensedaswe
bothr eleasedourselvesthenputmedown
afterkissingmeagai n.Hedi sposedt he
condom t hengavemeat i
ssuet owi pemyself
 
"
Thatwasgood"hespokewhi
l
efi
xi
nghi
msel
f.
.
Iwast
ooshyt
osayany
thi
ng 
Hetookouthisbusi
nesscar
dandacheque
bookthensi
gnedachequeforme.
.
Myeyespoopedwhenhegav
eitt
omet
hen
wal
kedaft
eraft
erwi
nki
ngatme

R30000t
housandf
oroner
ound?
Icheckedhi
sbusi
nesscar
d 
Lut
handoTenget
il
e..
..
.
.
.

Lut
hando

"Ial
mostthrewasearchpar
tyf
ory
ou!
"Baf
ana
spokeassoonasIsatdown 
Ichuckl
ed 
Me:
"Ij
ustgotl
aid"
Hel
aughed 
Hi
m:"
Bywho?
"
Il
aughed 
"
Nonofy
ourbusi
ness"
Him:
"Thegi
rlopposi
teushasbeenst
ari
ngat
yousi
nceyougothere!"
If
ocusedonthedir
ecti
onandindeedshewas
st
ari
ng,shewinkedandIsmil
ed..
Me:
"It
hinkIhav
escor
edmysel
foneni
ght
st
and!
"
Hi
m:"
Ewwr
eal
l
yman!
"
Il
aughed 
Me:"
it
snotli
keIhaveawifeorsomethi
ngand
i
tsevennotl
ikeI
'l
lbeaski
ngforarel
ati
onshi
p"
Hi
m:"Whataboutt
het
wogent
lemanshe'
s
wi
th?
"
Me:
"Theyl
ookt
oool
dforher"
If
ocusedbackatherandwi
nked,
shesmi
l
ed 
Hi
m:"
Hai
ygoodl
uckwi
thy
ouroneni
ghtst
and!

Baf
anacanbeabi tchattimes..Ithoughtwe
wer
ecelebrat
ingfindingthelaptopbuti t
sclear
hewasn't.
Wef oundonebi txhthatrobbed
Baf
anaandshehadal r
eadysoldthel apt
opbut
wegotitback.Thebitxhdidn'tgiv
ei neasil
y
whi
chIt
hinkwi
l
lbehar
dtof
indherf
ri
end.
ButagainIam Lut
handoandnooneget
stoo
toughforme..
.
Lor
dhelpherfr
iendbecausei
fIdof
indhernc
ncncnchellwi
llbr
eakloose.
..
.
[
04/
28,
17:
41]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t3

#Lut
hando

Asofthandtracedincir
clesonmychestgoing
downmyt orsothenmymanhood. .
Ismil
ed
sl
ight
lyopeningmyey es..Sheal
sosmil
ed.She
wasbeautif
ul .
Ial
way sdoonenightstandsmostlyi
nhotel
sto
avoidstr
ingsat
tachedandIshouldsay
Boineel
oherewast hemostluckyonetobein
myapar t
ment..
.
"
Mor
ningsl
eepyhead"shesai
d 
Il
aughedwhi
l
ebr
ingi
ngmyl
i
pscl
oset
oki
ss
her
 
Her
:"
Sies"Il
aughed 
Me:
"Haoucan'
tIki
ssmywoman?"
Shel
aughed 
Me:
"Soy
ou'
respendi
ngt
hedaywi
thmer
ight?
"
shesi
ghed 
"
Ipr
omi
sedt
ospendt
hedaywi
thmydaught
er"
 
Ipout
edshel
aughed 
me:"
Myfri
endTeshi
nthecount
rysoI
'
dloveif
youmeethert
oday.
We'r
ehosti
ngaminibr
aai
f
orher"
Her
:"
Okaybutf
ir
stt
hingi
nthemor
ningy
ou'
re
t
aki
ngmehome"
Me:
"That
'st
hepr
omi
seI
'
m wi
l
li
ngt
okeep"
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o
'
LetInotsleeponashutt
eredl
ife.LetIf
ixmy
mistakessowhenanAngel'st
ransportf
inal
ly
arr
ives,Iwouldbeknowi
ngAspacewoul d
havebeenleftforI
"

-
Per
sev
eranceShady
ie

'
Thel i
ttl
eIknow, thelit
tl
eIdo. Myparent
s
footst
epswi l
lfor
ev erbemyl i
tt
leroadtowalk
upon.Wher etheyfelll
etIal
sof al
l.Myown
parentswil
lforeverbetheblamef ormyinj
uri
es
'
-
Boi
tumel
o

IhadLut
hando'
sbusi
nesscar
dinhandwhi
l
e
paci
ngal
laroundt
her
oom .
Iwasdebat
ing
wit
hinmyself
"
Shoul
dIcal
lhi
m?No!
"Myi
nnerv
oicedebat
ed
..
.
Myri
ngi
ngphonedi
sturbedme..
irol
l
edmy
ey
eswhenIsawwhoi twas..
.
"
Getr
eady,
youhav
ethr
eecl
i
ent
sfort
oday!
!"
Me:
"ButmaIam of
f"
Her
:"
Don'tbull
shi
tmewenaTumi.Getr
eady
now.You'
llbeusi
nghot
elr
oom 42!"
Isi
ghedhangi
ngup.
.

Iwasti
redbot
hemotional
l
yandphy
sical
ly
..
I
havebeendoi
ngt
hatfor5year
snow..Why
shoul
dmyownmot hersel
lmetogr
ownman
formoney?

Iwal
kedt
othebat
hroom t
obat
hbutTr
aceyand
Kwenawerebathi
ng..
.Igr
oanedwhi
letur
ningt
o
thebedanddeci
dedtoKeepmyselfbusyby
l
oggingonFacebook.
..
Kwenawal kedoutoft hebat
hroom af
terawhil
e
Herf acewasswal l
enandshewasl i
mping
whileherbackhadgr eenmarks,l
ikesomeone
wasbeat i
ngher..Shecamebacklikethatl
ast
nightandsherefusedt ot
ell
mewhatmadeher
l
ikethat. 
Her
:"Ineedy
out
ohel
pmel
oti
onmybody"
Itookherl
oti
onont
hebedandpour
edonmy
handtorubher
Me:
"Youl
ookv
erybad,
youshoul
dseeadoct
or
"
her:
"I
'm okayBoi
tumel
o..
Thisarejustsmal
l
i
njuri
es,theywi
ll
getbet
terwit
htime"
Ikeptqui
ett
oavoidheryel
li
ngatmebecause
tr
ustmeshe'sgoodatthat
 
Her
:"
SoI
'
m pl
anni
ngahei
st"
Igr
oaned 
Her:
"Keng?
!weneedtost
opli
vi
ngthi
slif
e.Do
youthi
nkwe'l
lst
opwhenwehavenot
hing?"
Me:
"Ihav
e30t
housandpl
ust
he15k"
Her:
"Ennyane(
It
snotenough)
Itwon'
tpushus
t
il
lmont hend"
Isi
ghedwhi
l
erubbi
ngherback 
Me:
"Whati
sitt
hist
ime?
"
Her:
"Theguywest ol
ef r
om hasthemost
ri
chestbrot
herinSout
hAf ri
ca..
.I
ttur
nsouthe
ownsclubla!qui
zsoIneedust oRobthe
fi
deli
tycarwhenitcol
lectsmoneyther
e"
Iswal
l
owedhar
d 
Me:
"That
'sbi
g"
Her
:"
Yes, oncewegetdonewit
hthatj
obwe
l
eavethecountr
yimmediat
ely"
Me:
"I
'l
lthi
nkabouti
t".
Her
:"What
'st
her
etot
hinkabout?Kel
ebet
se
gor
eolej
uba(If
orgotyou'
reDom)
!You
enj
oyi
ngr
idi
ngdi
ffer
entmenneh?"
Me:
"No"
Shest
oodupandaggr
essi
vel
ygr
abbedt
he
l
oti
onfrom me
Her:"
Reet saspanseomor e(We'redodoi
ng
thatheisttomorrow)I'l
lorganiseafewpeople
wenamakesur eyouorganiset heequi
pment
andev eryt
hingelse..Otlogel
egobabhar i
(And
stopbeingst upi
d)!!Shewal kedtohersui
tcase
forherclothesaftersayi
ngt hat..
.
.
.
Nomat t
erhowi nj
uredshegetget sshedoesn'
t
giveup.Kwenal ovest aki
ngr i
skandIcouldn'
t
event el
lherIsawt heguywer obbedbackat
therestaurant.
.Whati fi
tallgoeswrong?Iwill
neverliv
eanor mal li
feasl ongastherei
smy
mot herandKwenast i
llli
vi
ngonear th
Itookmytoil
etr
ybagandwalkedtot he
bathr
oom andthankGodal
ltheladieshadgone
toworkwhichwasanopportuni
tyformet o
spendanhourinwarm wat
ertorelaxmybody...
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina

Thepr
isonwar
dercal
l
edoutmynamewhi
l
e
st
andi
ngbythedoor.
.
Iwal
kedt
othedoor
Her:
"Ihav
ey ourpar
cel
"shewhi
sper
edwhile
l
ookingsidewaytomakesur
enonIslooki
ngat
us 
Me:
"Goodnowgi
vei
ttome"shehandedme
t
heokapi
.
Me:
"Mydaught
erwi
l
ltal
ktoy
ouwhenshev
isi
ts
"
Shenoddedwhi
l
ewal
ki
ngbackt
oherof
fi
ce..
Isatontheminibedwhil
ecaref
ull
ycut
ti
ngmy
skintot
estthekni
fe.
..
ismil
edwhenIsaw
bloodfl
owing..
.
_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
__
Burghswal
kedi
nchained.Shewas
accompani
edbyourpri
sonwarder
 
Them :
"Sal
ut!
"Theybowed 
Ipl
ayedwi
thmykni
fe,
 
"
Whatdoy
ouhav
eforme?
"
Bur
ghs:
"Thel
eaderoft
he28mustdi
e"
"
Iknow"Ianswer
ed
Her
:"
Shei
spr
ovoki
ngourt
err
it
ory
!
Shewant
stot
akeov
erourpr
ison!
"
Ist
oodupwhi
l
elaughi
ngev
il
ly
 
Me:
"Thi
sismyPr
ison!
"
If
uri
ousl
ygr
abbedt
hewar
der
'sdr
eadl
ocks 
"
MYPRI
SON!
!!THEI
TALI
ANO'
SPRI
SON!
!"
Shef
li
nchedi
npai
n 
"
IHATESHARI
NG!
"Il
ookedatBur
ghs 
"Ir
aisethefl
agofital
ianobefor
ey ouasbl
ood
wil
lspli
tall
ov er.
..
Iaskyoutopleaseopenyour
heartandhelpsuckthebloodof28"
Shenoddedbef
orewal
ki
ngt
othedoor
 
Her
:"
War
dercanIgetoutofher
e!"
Ismil
edwhil
ehandingtheokapitothewarder
andweallwalkedoutt
othemai nhallwher
ewe
haveourdai
l
ymeal aft
erchai
ningmyf eet.
.
_
___
__

Isatbythecor
nerwhil
ehavingmymeal alone
..
.I
tallst
art
edgett
inghotwhenBurghsstabbed
oneofthe28..
Everyt
hingwasjustmessedup
andt
hatl
edt
hewar
der
s,pol
i
ceof
fer
srunni
ng
i
ntohel
p 
.
..
Ismil
edal
laloneknowi
ngt
hist
imear
oundI
wasn'
tint
rouble
.
.
Mynamei sChristinaOwensaged42y earsbutI
hav ebeeni nPrisonf or12yearsnowf ormur der
...Iwassupposedt oserve9yearsofpr ison
ti
mebecausei pleadedguilt
ybutal lbecause
troubl
ealway sf oll
owsme. .
Ihaveadaught erby
thenameShi rl
eyOwenswhoi s23y earsandi s
al awyerbutshepr efer
sthenicknameTeshal l
becauseshehasbeent hesnake'slawyer
(gangsters)fory earsnow, i
tallstart
edwhen
shewasdoi nghersecondy ear..
.

mor
einf
oaboutmewi
l
lber
eveal
edwhent
he
st
orycont
inues

Agai
nI'
m Chr
ist
inaOwens.Thi
sismyst
oryt
oo
..
.
_
___
___
___
___
___
___
_
[
04/
28,
17:
42]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t4

#Boi
tumel
o

'
Nomat terhowhardItr
ytoignorethi
spai
n
i
nsideme, ithi
tshar
dthatIevenfi
ndthe
st
rongerIintear
s'
-
Boi
tmel
o 
•
•
•
Isatonthet
oil
etseatasbl
oodcont
inued
fl
owingsobadfrom mywomanhood.
Nomat t
erhowhardIt
ri
edtoexplai
ntomy
motherthatI
'
m onmyperi
ods,Ican'
twor
k..
.It
j
ustfal
londeafear
s..
.
*
*
Shebelievesthatmoneycannotmakeitsel
f.
Trustmei tsanormthatevenwheni'
m onmy
peri
ods, Ijusthav
etoconti
nuesl
eepi
ngwi t
h
menf orherownbenefit.
.
Iam justusedt oitbutI'
mj ustfai
li
ngtoget
usedt otheaftereffect
s, whichareheavi
ly
fl
owingofbl oodthatev enIcan'tseem t
o
cont
rol ..
*
Aloudbangdistur
bedmymomentofpai
n,I
tr
iedt
oignor
ei tbuti
twasl
uci
dthatt
hel
oud
Kwenawasn'
tgonnagi v
eup
"YeywenaBoi
tumel
oIneedt
ouset
he
bathr
oom!"
Me:
"I
'm al
mostdoneKwenat
lhe"
Her:
"You'
vebeeni
nther
eforanhournow,I
havegotacli
entt
oatt
endtoinl
essthant
went
y
minutes!
"

Isi
ghedwhi
lestandi
ngt
henwi
pedmysel
fand
changedmypad..
Thenwal
kedout
 
Her
:"
Whenwi
l
lyoust
opav
oidi
ngme?
"
Me:
"I
'm notav
oidi
ngy
oukwena,
I'
mjustnot
f
eel
i
ngwel l"
shegav emet hatlookt hatshowedshedi dn'
t
beli
ev eme..Iwalkedpastherandchangedi n
blackleggi
ng, bl
ackv estandbl ackchucktail
or
andsatont hebedwhi lewaiti
ngf orhert
ofini
sh
up..Sheexi
tedafteraf ewmi nuites 
"
Arey
oudone?
"Iasked 
Her:
"Gaobone(
Can'
tyousee)
?"
Me:
"Haoukwenayoudon'
thav
etobi
teme.
I
wasj
ustaski
ng"
Sheal
sochanged 
"
Let
'sbounce!
"
Me:
"Haoudon'
tyouhav
eacl
i
entt
oat
tendt
o?"
Her
:"No,Ij
ustwant
edy
out
ogetoutoft
he
bat
hroom "
Isi
ghedwhi
l
est
andi
ngupt
ofol
l
owher.
..
*
Kwenahasal way sbeenrudeandtrustme
whenIsayI'm usedtoher. Wehavebeen
fri
endsfor7yearsnowandIshoul dsayinherI
foundthemot herIhavealwaysyearnedt
ohave
...
*
Af
teraf
ewhour
sofwal
ki
ng,
wear
ri
vedatwhat
l
ookedl
i
keanabundanthouse..Ther
ewer
efi
ve
guy
sandthr
eel
adiesi
nallblack..
Kwena:"
We'r
eher
enow.
Let
'sgetdownt
o
busi
ness"
Oneguy
:"Ihav
eadr
awi
ngofLA!
qui
z."
Weallgat
heredonatableandlettheguy
expl
ainev
ery
t hi
ngonthesket
ch. .
.
*
Honestl
yspeaki
ngitall
soundedsodanger
ous
butIhadtodoiti
norderformetoli
vemyown
l
if
ethewayIwant edto 
Kwena:"
Sol i
keIsaid,
Boitumelowil
lbethereto
dist
urballt
heviews,youguyswill
enter.
.The
twoofwi l
lbeontheexit,l
onaonthewatchout
,NnaI'
lldealwi
ththesecuri
ti
es.Ar
ewecl ear?
"
Weal
lnodded 
Her:
"Nowmakesureweallhav
e
communicat
ionandequi
pment"
Wenoddedagai
n 
"Anotherthing,don'
tforgettheownerof
LA!quizisthemostdanger ousguyev erso
makesur ey oudon'tshowy ourfacesbecause
wewon' thav eaccesstoallcamerafootages
.Nowl et'
sgetdownt obusiness"

Weal
lwal
kedoutt
othei
rgusheshes.
..
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

IwatchedBoineel
oshakingherbooty.Shei
s
chubbybutshedoesn'
tletherweightdragher
down...
 
Shehadacanofhunt
ersdr
yinhandwhi
l
eIwas
havi
ngHei
neken.
.
Themusicst
oppedandshegr
oanedandI
l
aughed 
Me:
"Comesi
ther
e"Shecameandsatont
opof
meandweki
ssed 
Baf
ana:
"Respect
 t
heel
der
s."
Weal
ll
aughed

Boineelowassupposet obemyoneni ghtstand

butitturnsoutIenjoyedbei
ngaroundher.We
haven'tspokeaboutourbackgr
oundandf amily
butallIknowi ssheisamotherofa12y ears
ol
ddaught er.
.
Baf
ana:
"Sowehi
tt
ingLA!
qui
ztoni
ght
?"
Me:
"Yeahbutnof
reedr
inks"
Theyl
aughed.
Aknockdi
stur
bedourMi
nipar
ty
..
"Ishoul
dgetthat"Isai
dwhil
ehel
pingBoi
neelo
sitonthecouchthenwentt
oopenthedoor..
Ismi
l
edinstant
lywhenIsawwhoi
twas.
Itwas
myfr
iendTeshwithherchi
ck

***
TeshakaShi r
leyOwensandIbeenf ri
ends
fr
om whenshej oinedt
hesnakessi ncewell
LuthandoandIarealsothemember s.
Shei s
l
ocatedinLondonbutv i
sitsthecountr
yoncei n
amont hbecausehermot herisi
njailr
ighthere
..
Shei salawyerbutadodgyonet oadd. **

WeshoulderbumpedthenIhuggedherchi
ck
..
thenwelcomedthem i
n 
Her
:"
Wher
eisy
ourphone?
"
Me:
"Wi
thmewhy?
"
Her:
"Wehavebeentryi
ngtocall
you,
I'
mfr
om
LA!qui
z..
EdogK'shubi
ledaar
"
"
Whatdoy
oumean?
"Iaskedpani
cki
ng
Her
:"
Kunenj
aemoshay
odaar(
Ther
eisadog
that
'smessi
ngther
e)"Icheckedmyphoneand
Ihad67missedcal
l
s.
Irushedtot
hesitt
ingroom andcal
l
edBaf
ana
andt ookmycarkeys 
"
Asi
cwal
'
indl
elabaf
ethu"
Shi
rl
eyki
ssedhergi
rlt
henwer
ushedt
omycar
l
eavi
ngthegi
rl
sinmyapart
ment..
.
*
Whocoul
dtr
yandmakeanenemyofmeMar
a
? 
*
Idrovel i
keamani
act ot
heclubandi ndeed
everythingwasmessedup.Theplacewas
surroundedbypol
icecars,
ambulances,
for
ensi csandsof
orthandthatdr
ov emenut s.
.
*
Iwal
kedin.Oneofmybarl
adiesrushedtome
andj
ustsobbedinmyarms.Ilethercr
yti
ll
she
cal
meddown 
Me:
"K'
vay
eni
yi(
Whatwentdownher
e?"
Shecoul
dn'
ttal
kpr
oper
 
Isawoneoft
hepol
i
ceof
fi
cer
sappr
oachi
ngus 
"
SirIheary
ou'
ret
heowneroft
hispl
ace?
"
Inodded 
Him:"
I'
ll
needyout
ofol
l
owmet
hatsi
det
o
quest
ionyou?
"
Me:
"Comi
ngr
ightaf
tery
ou"
Hewal
kedaway
 
Il
ookedbackatBaf
ana
"
Gotel
lthesecur
it
iesIneedal
ltheCCTV
f
oot
agesin20min"
heal
sonoddedwhi
l
ewal
ki
ngaway
 
*
Thepeopleorper
sonthatdidt
hisr
eal
l
yknew
howtosteponmyt ai
l.Lor
dknowshowI'
m
gonnamaket
hem pay!
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

i
t'
sfunnyhowev er
ythingchangedinjustabl i
nk
ofaneye..
.Justwhent hefi
del
it
ydisappointed
al
lpl
anschangedt orobbingLA!quizpersonall
y
..
.
*
KwenaandIcont
inuedpacki
ngourcl
othsas
qui
ckl
yaswecould 
"
Don'
tfor
gety
ourpasspor
t!"
Kwenasai
d

Itookourbagstohercl
ient
'scarwhi
l
eshe
foll
owedmewi t
htherest..
.
Asi
ghofrel
i
efescapedmymout
hassoonas
t
hecardr
oveaway...

I'
M FI
NALLYSTOPPI
NGTHEPROSTI
TUTI
ON
LIFE!
!

Mot
her
'shat
red 
[
04/
28,
17:
43]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t5

'
Mot
her
'sl
ove.
.
Uncondi
ti
onal
lov
e..
Lov
ethat
'sbey
ondi
nfi
nit
e..
Lov
ethatnoncannev
err
epl
ace.
.
.
..
..
..
..
.
..
..
..
..
.
Labourpai
ns.
.
Sl
eepl
essni
ght
s..
..
..
Shecouldhaveter
minat
edmet
hantoletme
l
iveknowingshe'
ll
tur
nmetoasl
ave!
!'
-
Boi
tumel
o
•
•
•

#Lut
hando 
"
Playt
hatagai
n!"Isai
d..
Her eversedtheCCTVf ootageagainbutit
wasn'thel pi
ngatall
.Peoplewhodi dthisreal
ly
knewhowt ocovert
heirt
racks.Theywer eall
in
Balacl
av a'sandworstofitwasthatnonoft heir
carspar kedwherethecamer ascouldreach
them .
Atl eastift
heydidthenwewoul dhav e
theregistrat
ionnumbers...
"
Anythi
ngyet
?"Teshaskedgi
vi
ngmeacanof
Hei
neken 
Isi
ghed"
Not
hing"
Her:
"Thereshoul
dbesomet hi
ngl
uu.
Thi
s
peoplerui
nedthehot
testpart
yev
er"
Me:"
NowallmyhopeisonmyITandPIguys
andift
heydontf
indany
thi
ngt
henI'
m scr
ewed"
Shet
appedmyback.
Her
:"
We'
l
lfi
ndt
hem don'
twor
ry"
.
It
'sbeenhourssincewehavebeenseatedi
n
myof f
iceatLA!quizgoi
ngt
hroughall
the
securi
tyfoot
agesandIshouldsaynonwas
helpi
ngatall
.
.
Bafanawal
kedinhol
dinghi
slapt
opinhand
..
Hisfacegav
emehopet hathefound
somethi
ngfrom t
hef
oot
agesf
rom t
heback
ent
rance..
.
"
Ihav
esomet
hing"
Hesaidmakinghiswaytomytabl
e..
.Ist
oodup
shi
ft
ingmylaptoptothesi
det
henstoodbehi
nd
hi
m whil
ehesatdown. .
.
.
..
..
Ismi
l
ewhenIsawev
ery
thi
ng 
Fana:"
Nonknowsofthet
hiscamer
asandI
shouldsayt
hei
rcarswer
eparkedr
ighther
e"he
point
edonthescr
een 
Me:
"Thi
slooksl
i
kel
adi
esandguy
snj
e?"
Henodded 
Teshchuckl
ed 
"
Sowe'
ref
aci
ngagr
oupofgi
rl
sandboy
s?"
 
Ichokedonmybr
eat
handl
aughed 
Fans:
"Guy
scan'
tyouj
ustbeser
iousf
oronce!
"
Wekeptqui
et 
"
Poset
hat!
"Isai
d 
.
.
Imov edmyf ocusver
ycl osetothosegirl
s..
I
couldn'
tshakeitbuti
twascl earthatIknew
them fr
om somewhere. Theyhadr emovedthei
r
Balacl
ava'
sandwer estandingthereli
kethey
werediscussingsomething 
"I
sn'tt
hist
hegir
lwejustbeatf
ewday
sback?"
Bafanaaskedmaki
ngmet hrowmypensohard
onthewall 
Me:
"I
tsher.
.Weshoul
dhav
eki
l
ledt
hisbi
tch!
!"
Banana:
"Cl
ear
lysheknowever
ythi
ngaboutus
.Fi
rst
lyi
twasmenowi tsy
ou!"
Tesh:
"Yoht
hisi
sbi
g!"
Baf
anal
ookedatoneofmysecur
it
yguar
ds 
"
Scr
eenshott
hatf
orme!
"
Henoddedwhi
l
ewal
ki
ngaway
 
Me:"
Ishoul
dcallThomastoinvest
igat
e
ev
erythi
ngaboutthi
slady"i
lookedatBaf
ana

"Andwenamakesurethepoli
cedon'
tgett
his
becauseIwantt
opersonal
l
ydealwit
hthose
people"
Heal
sonodded
Itookmyphoneanddi al
ledThomasnumbers
...
Heagreedthatishouldscreenshott
hei
mage
thenemaili
ttohim, he'l
lgetbacktome..
.
.
..
Iwannamakethem anexampl
ethatnoone
wrongLut
handoandgetsawaywit
hit!!
!
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o
Ismil
edal
lal
oneknowi
ngIgot55kal
lal
one
..
.LA!
qui
zmakesmoneyIdon'
twannali
e..
..
Whomakesmor
ethan300ki
njustoneni
ght?
I
tsal
lcl
eart
heowneri
sri
cht
othecor
e
.
.
Wehav en'tboar
dedt hecount
ryj
ustyetal
l
becauseKwena' scli
entwassti
ll
gett
ingus
fl
ightt
icketstoBotswana.Sowewerest i
l
lat
hi
sapar tment.
..
.
.
Iwasbeyondhappyt ostartnewl i
fe
somewhereelse..
.MaybeI '
ll
gett omeetmy
Pri
ncecharmingandhav emyown
famil
y.
..
Withoutmymot herowni ngme..It
rust
Kwena'scl
i
entonev ery
thingallbecausehe'
sa
PIandbesidest
hat
,Hi
m andKwenaseem t
o
under
standeachot
her.
.
.
.
Kwenawalkedi
nthesi
tt
ingr
oom br
ingi
ngme
backfr
om worl
dofmyhappi
ness,i
maginar
y
worl
d 
"
Onewouldsweary
ouhav egonemad"shesai
d
t
hrowi
nghersel
fonthecouch 
Il
aughed 
Her:
"Youhav
ebeenal
lsmi
l
leysi
nceThomas
dr
oppedushere!
"
Me:
"I'
m happyKwena.Knowi
ngthatIwil
lno
l
ongersl
eepwithst
rangersf
ormoneyjustbr
ing
j
oytomyl i
fe"
Shesmi
l
ed 
Me:
"Il
ovey
ouKwenaandt
hanky
ouf
orbei
ng
t
her
eforme!"
Shesmi
l
edwhi
l
ebr
ingi
ngmei
nforahug
Her
:"
Ilov
eyoumor
ebabysi
s..
."

Shepushedmeal
i
ttl
e 
"
You'
l
lmakemecr
y"
Il
aughed 
Ileanedbackmaki
ngmysel
fcomf
ort
abl
eon
thecouch 
Me:
"Sot
ell
neaboutMrcl
i
ent"
Shel
aughedal
i
ttl
e 
Her
:"I
'
llt
ell
youal
labouthi
mlat
eron,f
ornow
l
et'
sopenupabottl
eofMoettocel
ebr
ate.
"
Me:
"Yeahl
et'
scel
ebr
ate!
"
.
..
..
..
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

Icont
inuedpunchi
ngmypunchi ngbagsohar d
.Ever
ytimewhenI'm st
ressedithel
ps.Ishoul
d
saypri
sonhastaughtmet otakeall
my
fr
ustr
ati
onsoutonthebag. .
.
Imostl
ytr
ytokeepmysel
fawayfrom t
roubl
e
butI
tfor
everf
oll
owsme..
.Myphonerang..
Igrabbedmysqueezebot
tl
eandgulpeddown
thewaterwhi
l
eputti
ngmyearphoneson..
.
Me:
"Tal
ktome.
."
"
Igotev
ery
thi
ngf
ory
ou"i
twasThomas 
Il
eanedcar
eful
l
yont
hewal
l
 
Hi
m:"Ij
ustemai
l
edev
ery
thi
ng"
Me:
"Sur
e..
We'
l
ltal
ksoon"
Hechuckl
ed 
"
BraLuu.
..
"
Me:
"Sur
e?"
Hi
m:"
Ithi
nkIknowt
hel
adi
esper
sonal
l
y!"
"
Per
sonal
l
y"
Hi
m:"Oneofthem i
smyf riendsoshecal
l
edme
t
hatIshoul
dfetchthem andIdid"
Ibi
tmyl
i
ps 
"
Fet
chedt
hem ?
"
Him:"
Yeah,
theyar
eatmyapar
tmentaswe
speak"
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:
"Del
ayt
hem t
il
lIv
isi
tyourapar
tment"
Hi
m:"
Sur
ethi
ngboss"
Ismi
l
ed 
me:
"I
'l
ldoubl
eyourpay"
Ihungup..
.Whoar
ethatt
othi
nkt
hey'
l
lst
eal
fr
om Lut
handoandgetwaywi
thi
t?
.
..
..
.
mot
her
'shat
red 

[
04/
28,
17:
43]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t6

'
Herl
ove!
!!
Thelovet
hatwassupposet
obui
l
dmenot
breakme..
Thel
ovet
hatwassupposet
o 
r
aisemenotki
l
lme.
..

InwhatwaydoIdif
ferf
rom ot
herchi
l
drenwho
arel
ovedbythei
rmothers?
'
-
Boi
tumel
o
#Boi
tumel
o

Idr
aggedmysel
fdownst
air
sbecauset
her
e
wasaknockont
hedoor.
..
KwenaandMrcl i
entseemedtobebusysoI
wouldn'
tdi
stur
bthem henceIdeci
dedt
ogo
openthedoor.
..

MyjawdroppedwhentheguythatIoncesl
ept
wi
thbackattherest
aur
antafewday sback
wasstandi
ngthere.
Hefrowned.

Godreal
l
ycr eatedbeaut yt
here.Hewaslooking
sohotwithhismat chingwri
stwatchandbelt
on.
Hisatt
irejustspeltri
ch..
Hismusclesjust
mademewantt ot
hrowmysel ft
ohim.His
col
ognejustfil
ledtheatmosphere..
.
Icoul
dn'
thel
pbutj
ustdrool
.Ihavesl
eptwitha
l
otdif
fer
entguy
sbuthaveneverhadsuch
beaut
yholdi
ngmeinthei
rarmsexpectforhi
m
vel
e..
.
.
.
Hesmi
ledmaki
ngmener
vous.
Mystomach
cr
owl
dabitmaki
ngmywomanhoodhot.
..
"
Hey"hespoke 
"Ar
ghwhere'
smyr espectat?Comei
n!"I
spokecr
eati
ngspaceforhimtocomein 
Hechuckl
ed 
Hi
m:"
Iunder
stand"
Iof
fer
edhi
m asi
t 
Hi
m:"
I'
mlooki
ngf
orThomas.
.I
shear
ound?
"
Me:"
Ye..
.y
eah..
Hei
sactual
l
ybusywi
thhi
s
gi
rl
fr
iendbuti
cancal
lhi
mf ory
ou"
I
twasj
usthar
dbei
ngar
oundhi
m.Hemademy
kneesweakev
enwhenIknewwear
est
ranger
s
..
Hi
m:"
Andt
hecandl
e?"
Il
aughed 
"
TrustmeIdon'
tmi
nd"
Heal
sol
aughed 
"CanIgetyouany
thi
ngtodr
inkoreatmay
be?
"I
askedaft
erourmomentofl
aughter
 
Hechuckl
ed 
Him:"Theonlydr
inkIneedatthemomenti
s
yournumbers"hebithi
slowerli
psmaki
ngme
wetdownt her
e 
"
AndI
'm st
il
lwonder
ingwhyy
ouhav
en'
tcal
l
ed
me"
Igr
oanedmaki
nghi
mlaugh 
Hi
m:"
Smal
lwor
ldr
ight
?"
Me:"
Itot
all
yfor
gotbutanywaysi
ncey
ou'
reher
e
I
'l
lwri
tedownmydigitsfory
ou"
Hechuckl
edchecki
nghi
swr
istwat
ch 
"
I'
vegotameet
ingt
ogett
oinl
esst
han2hour
s
"
Ist
oodup 
"Letmegocheckont
hem may
bet
heyar
e
done"
Heal
sost
oodupbl
ocki
ngmyway.
*
*Ei
sht
hisguymakesmeweakatal
lti
mes*
*
Hehel
dupmychi
nsmoot
hly
 
"
You'
rebeaut
if
uly
ouknowt
hat?
"Heasked 
Me:
"Yes"
thatcameoutasawhi
sper
 
Him:"BoitumeloI'
dhatetoyourbodybeingfed
todogsandl ett
ingyouwatchy ourownlif
e
beingtakenawayf r
om youallbecauseof
money. Trustmedarli
ngthi
swor l
dhaslotsand
l
ot sofmoneysoIwoul dpreferifyoust
op
steal
ingitbecauseyou'
ll
endupl osi
ngyourl
ife
MsMokoena"
Mybodyt
ensedi
mmedi
atel
y 
Isuddenl
ybecameuneasy.
.
Whatthehel
li
shetal
ki
ngaboutandHowt
he
hel
ldoesheknowmyname? .
..
.
Hebr
oughthisl
ipsr
ightbef
oremineandhel
d
mywaistsohar
dmakingmef li
nch.
..
"Ihavey ourtenssoI '
l
lcal
lyou, wenajustmake
sur eyoudon'tskipthecountr
y.I'
llki
lly
oui fyou
do"hespoker i
ghti
nmyl ipsthenbitmyl ower
l
ipsohar dmakingtearsescapemyey esandI
quicklyshutthem tostopthetearsbutitwas
alreadylateasmycheekswer ealreadywet .
.
.
.
Foot
stepsonthestai
rssavedme,ashemoved
awayfrom me.Mrcli
entwasingownal
one.
.
Mrcl
i
ent:
"HaouIdi
dn'
tknowy
ou'
reher
e..
"
Luu:
"Ihavebeenhereforaf
ewmi nut
esso
si
ncewel lIwastol
dyouwerebusyIthoughtI
shoul
dn'tdist
urb" 
Mrcl
i
entChuckl
ed 
Heact
edl
i
kehedi
dn'
tdoany
thi
ngbadt
ome 
Luul
ookedatmet
henbackatmecl
i
ent
 
"
Canwet
alk?
"
Mrcl
i
ent:
"Yeahsur
e..
Thi
sway.
."
 
Theybot
hwal
kedtoMrcl
ient'
swhatl
ookedl
i
ke
aminiof
fi
cel
eav
ingmeintears.
.
.
Somethi
ngdidn'
tmakesenseatal
l .Inevert
old
Lut
handomynamebuti tt
urnsoutheknows
mynameandsur name.
Nowhowt hef uckdi
d
heknowI'
ll
beskippi
ngthecount
ry??
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

Inhereyes,lov
ewasal lt
hatIsaw.Icoul
dhav e
str
angledhertodeat
hifitwassomeoneel se
butwhenIwaswel comedbyheri l
ostall
the
str
engthinmeandal lt
heangerIhad.Yes, I
hadsuspectedthati
twassomeoneIknewbutI
neverthoughtI
twouldbeher..
.
.
Ipacedal
lar
oundt
her
oom 
Me:
"Iser
iousl
ynev
ert
houghti
tcoul
dbeher
"
Hi
m:"
Sowhatar
eyourpl
ansman?
"
Me:"Idon'
tknowy
etbutI
'
llhav
etopuni
shthem
.Theymessedmyclubup.Il
ostmor
ethan
450k"
Thom si
ghed 
Me:
"Igav
eher30kwhatmor
edi
dshewant
f
rom me?
"
Hekeptqui
et
"
Damni
tman!Howdi
dIgether
e?"
Hekeptqui
etst
il
l

Justoner
oundofsexi
nthet
oil
etsthenI
'
m
fai
li
ngtof
indpr
ocedur
etoal
lofthi
s!
.
Il
ookedatThomas 
"Makesuretheydon'
tski
pthecount
ryIt
hinkI
'l
l
needthem forsomet
hingevent
houghIdon'
t
knowy et"
HenoddedIwal
kedout.
..
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina 
Me:
"TeshI
'
m notr
eadyt
ofacet
heout
side
wor
ld"
Her
:"
Butmom y
ouhav
eto.
.Ineedy
ou!
"
Isi
ghed 
***I'
m supposetogetoutofpri
soninafew
weekst i
mesbutthetr
uthisI'
m notr
eadyatall
.
Prisonismyl i
feandhasalwaysbeenmyl i
fe.I
foundl oveandwarmththerehenceinev
ergave
mysel ftimetofi
gureourhowitwouldbe
l
eav ingontheoutsi
dewor l
d**
Her:"
Mom please.
.Justf
oroncest
ayoutof
t
roublesoy
oucanmakei tout"
Isi
ghed 
MaybeifIcantr
yandstayawayorf
arf
rom
t
roublet
henI'
ll
getoutofher
eandfi
xal
lmy
wrongs..
.
Il
ookedatTesh 
"
OkaymybabyIwi
l
l"
shesmiledandwasaboutt ostandupt
ogiv
e
meahugbutt hewarderstoppedhersi
ncewe
weren'
tall
owedtot
ouch. .
..
.
.
Mot
her
'shat
red 
  .

TOBECONTI
NUED
[
04/
28,
17:
44]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t7
.
.
'
AllIhavealwaysyearnedforwasmot her
sLove
..
AllIneededfrom herwasprotect
ionbuther
hat
redtowar dsmehaski l
l
edme'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Lut
hando 
Thedriv
ebacktomyapar
tmentwasr
atherl
ong
thanshort.
..

.
.
AllIwantedwast ofi
ndt hepersonorpeople
thatstol
efrom mebutnowt hatIdidIwas
mor econfusedthanhappy. .
.I
fitwassomeone
elseIwouldhav el
ongputt hem sixfeet
underground.Yes,Idr
ov etoThomaspl ace
withmeanst opunishthem butwhenshe
openedt hedoorandourey esmet, Ibecameal
l
weakandl ostallt
hestrengthinme. ..
.
.
.
.
Iparkedoutsi
deandwalkedinsi
demy
apartmentwhereIwasmetbyonl yquest
ioni
ng
l
ooks. .
Ihadnoenergyatal
lforquesti
oni
ng
sessionwit
hBafanaandShir
ley 
Baf
ana:
"Tel
lmey
ou'
vegotsomet
hing"
Isi
ghedwhilepl
aci
ngmyphoneandcarkey
s
onthetabl
e 
Me:
"Uhm notr
eal
l
y".
Tesh:
"Whatdoy
oumeannotr
eal
l
y?Yousai
d
Thomashadsomet
hing"
Me:
"Igotnot
hingFana!
"
Hi
m;"
Ist
il
ldon'
tunder
stand"
Me:
"I
'mt
ir
edguy
sIneedt
orest"
Baf
ana:
"Howcany
our
estwhi
l
e-"
"
Baf
ana!
"Icuthi
m of
fshar
ply.
.
Iwasn'
tint
hemood, al
lIneededwastor
oll
a
bl
untthent
hinkpr
operl
y.Real
it
ythi
nki
ngwasn'
t
hel
pingatal
l.
..
Iwalkedoutl
eavi
ngthem al
lconf
usedbymy
react
ionandIcoul
dn'
tcar
eless..
.
ThankGodIst
il
lhadweedsoIr oll
edablunt
andsmokedoutsidebythebal
conywhi
lelost
deepinmyownt hought
s 
*
***
Boi
tumel
o!!
Boi
tumel
o!!
!
Boi
tumel
o!!
!!
Boi
tumel
o!!
!!
Whyam if
ail
i
ngt
opuni
shherl
i
keal
lthoset
hat
hav
ewrongedme??
!
.
.
Ithenwalkedbacktomybedr
oom t
olaydown
andatleastthi
nk..
JustwhenIl
ayedmyheadont
hecushi
onand
shutmyeyes
"Ireal
lyhat
eseei
ngyousost
ressed"shespoke
distur
bingmypeace.
Iopenedmyey
est
hen.shi
ft
edmyey
est
othe
doorway
andther
eshewas,
standi
ngt
her
ewi
thherey
es
ful
lofpi
tt
y..
.
Ihadtot
all
yfor
got
tent
hatshewasst
il
lar
ound
andneededmyatt
enti
on..
"
Hey
..
.ar
eyouokay?
"Iaskedsi
tt
ingupst
rai
ght
.
Sheshookherheadno
Her
:"
Lut
handoI
'
m wor
ri
edabouty
ou"
Me:
"Boi
neel
opl
ease.
..
"
Boi
neel
o:"
Lut
handoI
'
m her
efory
oui
fyouneed
tot
alk"
Me:
"I
'm okayBoi
neel
o,Ij
ustneedt
orest"
(
Sil
ence)
Me:"
Iwon'
tbeabl
etodr
ivey
ouhomebutIcan
cal
lacabf
oryou"
Her
:"
I'
ll
beokay
"
sheat
tempt
edt
oleav
e 
"
Boi
neel
o..
"Ical
l
ed 
shel
ookedbackatme 
"
Ilov
eyouokay?
"
shesmi
l
ed 
"
Ilov
eyoumor
eluu"
Ismil
ed,shewalkedaway.Idon'
tknowwhat
cameovermebutIjustfel
ttheurgetot
ellher
.I'
dbelyi
ngi
fIsaidImeantitbecausel
oveis
onethi
ngIdon'
tknow...
•
•
•
#Bot
umel
o
Iwi
pedmytear
sandcont
inuedcount
ingt
he
moneyal
lov
eragai
n..
Myhear twasheav y. Al
lIwantedwast oescape
thecount r
yandl i
velikenormal peopl
ewhere
nooneknewme. Ihadt omakemoneyandnow
thatIhadit, Iwasscared.Kwenakepton
postponingt heTri
pandherr easonsweren'
t
vali
datal l
.Mom ont heothersidehasbeen
call
ingandl eavi
ngcount l
essmessages
**
IFYOUKNOW WHATSGODFORYOUTHEN
YOU'LLGETYOURBI TCHYASSHEREBECAUSE
YOUHAVEMORETHANSEVENCLI ENTS
WAITING.MAKESUREYOUDOORELSE
YOU'LLMEETYOURANCESTORS. .
TSK
NGWANA' SFEBE!
!!
"
Thatwasoneofhermessagesandt hat
di
stur
bedme, noactual
l
yittor
emedeepwi t
hin
.Kwenawalkedintheguest
room makingme
qui
ckl
ywipemyt earsaway.
.
Her
:"
It
sal
otneh?
"
Me:
"Hheeeh?
"
Her:
"Imeanthatmoney,youhav
ebeen
counti
ngitcount
lesst
imesnow"
Ichuckl
ed 
Me:
"Yeahi
tsal
ot"
Her
:"
Boi
tumel
owhat
'
swr
ong"
Il
ookeddown.Tearsj
ustf
ormedi
nmyey
es
makingmyli
pstrembl
eabit 
Me:
"I
'm scar
edKwena.
."
Shehel
dbot
hmyhands 
Her:"
Boit
umeloIunderst
and.I'
m al
soscar
ed
butl
et'
sjustbethankf
ulnooneknowswear e
thepeopl
ethatstol
eatclubLA!qui
z"
Si
l
ent
 
Her:
"I
'm wi
thy
oubabewe'l
lskipthecount
ry
ver
ysoonandfor
getaboutevery
thi
ngelse"
Ikeptquietthet r
uthi sIwasn' tonlyscared
becausewest olemoneybutIwasscar edof
LuthandoTenget i
l
e. Ihadt hatfeeli
ngthathe
knewsomet hingaboutev eryt
hingandhewas
gonnadosomet hi
ngabouti t..
.Iwantedt o
tel
lbKwenaabouti tbutknowi nghowKwenai s,
she'llj
ustjumpt oLut handoandt hatguy
seemedt ohisthemostdanger ousbeast
behindhiscut eface. .
..
Myphoner angwhi l
ewe
wer esti
llati
t.Itwasanunknownnumber. Iwas
hesitanttoansweri tbutKwena' slookforced
met o
"Heybeauti
ful
"It
rembl
edwhenInot
iced
Luthando'
svoi
ce 
"Heywho'
sthi
s?"Iaskedf
ir
mly.Ihadtoact
str
ongsoIwouldn'
tseem t
ofeathim
Hi
m:"
It
'sLut
hando.
..
"
"
Oh?
"
Hi
m:"
Yeah,Iwoul
dli
key
ouandKwenat
ovi
sit
myapar
tmentt
omorr
ow"
*
**HowdoesheknowKwena?
?**
Me:
"Uhm wecan'
t,wear
eb-
"
Him:
"I
'l
lsendyout
hedet
ail
s..
.Makesur
eyou
gett
hereby12pm"
hehungonmeaf
tersay
ingt
hat.
..
.
Ihav
enev
erf
ear
edanyonel
i
keIf
earLut
hando
..
.
Il
ookedatKwena 
"
I'
mtaki
ngy
ououtt
omor
row"
shesmi
l
ed.
.Icoul
dn'
ttel
lhert
het
rut
h..
..

Mot
her
'shat
red 
TOBECONTI
NUED
[
04/
28,
17:
44]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t8
'
Thetr
oublesIfacefaceev
erydayisal
lbecause
ofmymot her
'shatr
ed.Shehaslandedmei na
pool
full
ofblood!"

-
Boi
tumel
o
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Iwastryi
ngsohar
dnottoshowanyf
earbuti
t
wasjusthar
dasIwastr
embling.
Evenmyoutf
itshowedIwasn'
tgoi
ngany
wher
e
romant
icormaybespeci
al.
WhywasIsupposet
olookbeaut
if
ulordr
esst
o
ki
l
lknowi
ngi
tmi
ghtbemyl
astdayonear
th?
*
*
*
*
Iwor eblackl ongsleevet-shi
rtthatcover
edmy
buttalsowi thblackleggingandbl ackGucci
kicks..Bl
ackwast hebestout fi
tjusttomourn
formysel f..IwaitedforKwenadownst ai
rs
sincewel lshewast aki
ngherownt i
me 
.
..

I
nthemeanti
meideci
dedtotypeamessage
f
orBoi
neel
osoastoletherknow 
*
***
***
ALLIHAVEALWAYSWISHEDFORWASFOR
HERTOLOVEMELIKESHELOVEYOU.
TOBETREATEDLI
KEADAUGHTERNOTHER
SLAVE.
.
ILOVEYOUBOI
NEELOANDALWAYSKNOW
THATI'
LLFOREVERBEWI
THYOUAND
PROTECTYOU!"*
**
Iswi
tchedmyphoneof
faf
tersendi
ngt
he
message.
"Youcouldhav
et ol
dmey ouchangedyourmi
nd
thantoletmedressfornot
hing!
"Kwenaspoke
star
tl
ingmeabi t
 
"
Uuhh?
"Il
ookedatherconf
used
Her
:"
Whyar
en'
tyoui
nout
fi
t?"
Ist
oodup 
"
Keshar
p.Ar
eyoudone?
"
Shegav
emeaquest
ioni
ngl
ook 
Her
:"
Yeah"
Me:
"Shal
lwe?
"
Isai
dt akingmyhandbagfrom t
hecoffeet
abl
e
andledt heway.Iwastooemotionalt
osay
anyt
hing. Shel
ockedthedoorbehindus.
Lut
handosai
dhe'
l
lsendhi
sdr
ivert
opi
ckusup
andthedr
iverwasal
readyout
sidewai
ti
ngf
or
us 
"Ther
eisourri
de"Ispokewal
ki
ngtoitbut
Kwena'st
ightgr
iponmyhandstoppedme 
Her
:"Boi
tumel
oIdon'
tunder
stand.
What
'sgoi
ng
on?
"
Me:
"Kwenacanwej ustl
eav
e?Andst
opaski
ng
manyquest
ions!
!"
"
Okay!
"Shesaidwhi
lel
etgoofmyhandand
l
i
fti
ngherhandsupasafor
m ofsur
render
..
.
.
Thedriv
et oLut
hando'sapartmentwasshor t
.Justwhenwecl imbedoffthecarout sidehi
s
apart
ment, f
earjustki
ckedin.Icouldn'thol
dit
i
nany moreasIst ar
tedshaki
ngev enmor eand
mybodysweat. Iwasev enshiver
ingev enwhen
i
twasv eryhot.
..
Thedr
iver
:"Thi
swayl
adi
es"
Me:
"I
tsokay,
we'
l
ltakei
tfr
om her
e"
Henoddedwhi
l
ewal
ki
ngaway
 
Kwena:
"Boi
tumel
oyou'
rej
umpy.
."
Ikeptqui
ett
ryi
ngt
omai
ntai
nthef
earIhad 
Her
:"
Boi
tumeloI
'
llbeaski
ngy
ouf
ort
hel
ast
t
ime.What
'sgoi
ngon? "
Me:
"Kwenai
-.
..
."
Myvoicewasfai
l
ingmeast ear
sst
art
edf
il
li
ng
upmyey es.
Ihav
eneverbeensoscar
edi
nmy
l
if
e..
"KwenaIhavekil
ledus"Ispokewipingmy
tear
swit
ht hebackofmyhand. ThankGodI
hadnomakeupon.
Her
:"
Ist
il
ldon'
tunder
stand"
.
Lyingwasn'thelpi
nganymoremore.Ihadt ot
ell
Herev er
ythingsoshewouldal
sobepr epared
forevery
thingthatwasgonnahappeninside
t
her
esoIbegant
ell
i
ngherev
ery
thi
ng.
Sheshowednof
ear
 
"
Buti
tsti
l
l doesn'
tpr
ovethatheknowswear
e
t
heonesthatstol
efr
om LA!qui
z"
Ikeptqui
et 
"TheownerofLA!
qui
zt akesnoshitsoifi
twas
him,hewouldn'
thav
esai danyt
hingbutkil
led
youthemomenthelaidhiseyesony ou"she
conti
nued
Me:
"Sowhatdoy
oumean?
Her:
"Boi
tumel
owejustwal
kint
hereandactal
l
i
nnocent,i
fhedoesany
thi
ngwrongthenweki
ll
hi
m"
Iswal
l
owed 
Her
:"
Soactst
rongandst
opbei
ngachi
cken!
"
.
..
..
..
..
..
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

"
Theb*
**hesf
oll
owi
ngmel
i
kel
ostpuppi
es 
Let'
em knowIai
n'
twhatt
heyt
hinkIam 
Theyar
etr
ippi
ng
I
'
m non'
sty
pe 
Al
l'
ebt
ichesIdat
edar
enowsi
xfeetunder
 
Shoul
dIsayhear
tat
tack?
..
..
..
..
"
Iwasrappi
ngal
ongwi
tht
hesongpl
ayi
ngon
tr
ace.
IhadnoT-shi
rton,justgol
dchainaroundmy
neck.Bl
ackhemisphereshortsweat
pantsand
Jordanki
cks.
Ther
oom wasj
ustf
il
ledwi
thweedsmoke.
..
*
*I'
m notaheavysmokerofweedbutst
ress
j
ustpushmet osmoki
ngv er
yhar
d"
Theknockonthedoordi
stur
bedme.Ist
oodup
andwalkedt
othekit
chentowelcomewhoev
er.
Ismil
esdwhenIwaswel
comedbyBoi
tumel
o'
s
cut
eface 
"
Ladi
es.
..
."
Iopenedt
hedoorwi
dert
owelcomethem i
n
andtheywal
kedi
nsi
deandsatont
hehigh
chai
rs 
"
For
giv
emef
ort
hesmoke"
Kwena:
"I
tsokay"
Me:
"CanIgety
ouany
thi
ngt
odr
ink?
"
Boi
tumel
o:"
Doy
ouhav
eany
thi
ngst
rong?
"
*
*Shewast
rembl
i
ngshame*
**
Inodded 
Il
ookedatKwena 
"
Wena?
"
Her
:"Wi
newi
l
lbef
ine"
Ichuckl
edopeni
ngt
hecupboar
dandtooka
bott
leofScot
chwhi
skyandthr
eegl
asses 
Me:"
Somethi
ngst
rongcoul
dusef
oral
lthe
t
hreeofus",
Theykeptqui
et 
Ir
insedt
hegl
assesandgav
ethem t
o
Boit
umel
o 
"Youcangot
othel
ounge,
I
'l
lfol
l
owy
ou"
Theysl
owl
yst
oodup.
.
Il
ockedthedoorandwal
kedbehi
ndt
hem t
othe
l
ounge..
Lor
dhelpmebutIwasj ustget
ti
ngangryslowly
.MaybetheweedIhadsmokedcont ri
buteda
bi
tbecauseIcoul
dn'
tcarewhetherIki
llt
hem or
what..
.
Isatonthecof
feetabl
er i
ghtbef
oret
hem si
nce
wellt
heywerebothseatedontheonecouch..
Iopenedt
hewhi
skyandSLOWLYpour
edi
tin
gl
asses 
"
Niy
angat
iMar
aNi
na(
Doy
ouknowme)
?"
TheykeptquietIr
aisedmyey ebr
owlooki
ngat
bothofthem .Boi
tumeloswall
owedhardbut
kwenadidn'
tshowanyf ear 
*
*Theki
ndIcoul
ddeal
wit
h**
*
Igav
eBoi
tumel
othegl
asst
henKwena 
"
Kwena?
"
Shelookedatme,
mor
eli
kesur
pri
sedandt
ook
theglass.
Boit
umelogulpeddownt hewhi
skey.
Ipoured
herthesecondglassandgavei
ttoherbutshe
shookherheadno 
"
Leni
(Why
)?"
Her
:"
I'
m..
I"
Me:
"Taket
hisanddon'
tbul
l
shi
tmewena"
Shet
ooki
t 
Ist
oodupandsidel
eanedagai
nstt
hewal
lwi
th
myhandsf
olded 
"
Ineedy
out
ofi
nisht
hewhol
ebot
tl
e"
Theykeptqui
et.
Thef
reakyKwenast
oodup 
Her:
"Thi
sisj
ustbul
l
shi
t.Ihav
etoget
somewhere"
Ichuckl
edgi
vi
nghert
hescar
iestl
ookev
er 
"
Utsi
ni(
Excuseme)
?"
Kwena:
"Whatexact
lydoy
ouwantf
rom us?
"
Me:
"Mymoney"Isai
dcal
mly
 
Her:
"Wel
lyou'
vegotwrongpeopl
ebecausewe
don'
thav
ey ourmoney"
Me:
"Okay
"
Her
:"
Boi
tumel
olet
'sgo"
Boi
tumel
ost
oodup.
.
Kwenawasabouttowal
kpastmebutIt
ight
ly
gr
abbedherweaveandshef
li
nched 
"You'
llgobacktothatcouchandbehaveyour
self,
I
'm pr
ettysureyoudon'
twannamesswi th
mel i
keyoualreadyhave"
Iwhisper
edinherear 
Shekeptqui
et 
It
ookmyal
readychokedgunf
rom mywai
st 
"Ormaybeyouwantmetoinser
tabull
ether
e?"
Isai
drubbi
ngthegunonherwomanhood
Sheswal
l
owed 
"
I'
m notscar
ed"
Il
aughedbitt
erly
.Ipul
l
edt hetr
iggerri
ghti
n
betweenherlegsandIlaughedwhent hebul
l
et
hithar
donthewal lmakingherli
ter
all
ywether
self
 
"
Ncncncbukaut
imanzi
sil
e(Look,
you'
vewet
y
oursel
f)"
Il
aughedatherwhi
l
elooki
ngatheral
readywet
j
eans..
.
"
Nowcl
eany
oursel
fandgobackt
othatcouch
"shesl
owl
ywal
kedbackt
oit
 
Il
ookedatt
hesi
l
ent
lysobbi
ngBoi
tumel
o
"
Andwena?
!!
!"

That
'sal
lIsaidbef
orewal
ki
ngoutt
othe
bedr
oom ..
..

Mot
her
'shat
red 
 
TOBECONTI
NUED
[
04/
28,
17:
45]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED
  
Inser
t9
Notedi
ted 
'
Beingunloved,unwant
ed,uncaredforbyyour
ownmot herismuchgr eat
erhunger,much
great
erpovertythant
hepersonwhopr act
ical
l
y
hasnothi
ngt oeat'
-
Boi
tumel
o
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina

Thefirstf
ewy ear
sofpr i
sonhasbeenhellf
or
mebutIaccept edthatpri
sonismyhomewhen
ti
mewentonandnowt hatismylife.
..
Ihad
acceptedthatIwasnol ongerget
ti
ngoutbut
nowt hatIhadaccepted,Ihavetogooutand
star
tonanewl i
feagain?
.
..
Iwasi
nthecel
lwi
thgener
alandot
heri
nmat
es 
general
:"Donowt haty
ou'regoingoutt
her
e,
you'
ll
hav etor
aiseourflagoutsidet
her
e"
Ibr
ushedmyf
orehead 
"
I'
mthi
nki
ngofl
eav
ingt
hei
tal
i
anol
i
fe"
Her
:"What
?Buty
ou'
l
lhav
etosacr
if
icebl
ood"
.
..
"Bl
oodf
orbl
ood"
Isi
ghed 
Ist
oodupi
mmedi
atel
y
andt
ooktheokapiIhadandsteppedoneoft
he
i
nmateswhi
leothersrant
othecorner.
..
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

"Godpl
easemakeLuthandoforgetev
erythi
ng.I
sweari
fhedoesI'
l
lstopsteal
i
ngandr espect
mymother.Lor
dI'
l
lconti
nuewor ki
ngforher..
."
Thatwasmyshortpr
ayerwhil
eKwenaandi
werebot
hkneel
i
ngdownwi thourey
esclosed.
Kwenadoesn'tbel
i
eveinpr
ayer,inf
actshe
doestnotbel
i
ev et
hatGodexi
stsatallbutI
foundheral
socall
inghi
snamef orprot
ecti
on.
..
Myt hr
oatwasdr y.Inol ongerhadt ears
becauseIhavebeensi lentlysobbing.The
str
ongerKwenawasal soweak. Itwasjusthard
accepti
ngthatLuthandowasr eall
ykil
l
ingus
.Heseemedscar y, hiscutef acewasj ustsour
andhislookswerej ustev i
l..
.

Thescotchwhi
skeywasst i
ll
ont hecof
feet
abl
e
butIcoul
dn'
tdri
nkit,
Ijustneededtoseemy
sel
fdyingordi
esober..
.
Whenhewal kedbacktotheloungemyf ear
becameevenstronger.
Myhear twasbeat i
ngso
fast,
mor
elikeitwouldexpl
ode. .
Icoul
dn'teven
swall
owmyownsal i
va.
..
Hehadchangedtosi
mplejeansandgolft
ee
..
..
Hewalkedtot
hekit
chenandcameback
hol
dinggr
eenappl
eandknifeinhand 
"
Theypr
etendt
oknowme 
Dot
heyknowI
'
m poi
sonous?
Dot
heyknowIcanki
l
l?
Dot
heyknowI
'
m danger
ous?
"
Hewasr appingsomerapsongIdon'teven
knowandi twould'
vebeencutei
fitwas
somethi
ngdecentbutitwasscarybecauseof
thel
yri
cs...
Hechuckledvi
ewinghisdeep
dimpl
esandpl at
inum t
oothontheside 
Hi
m:"
Ithi
nki
tst
imewet
alk"
Hesatont hecoffeetabl
eopposit
eust oface
uswhileroughl
ycutti
ngtheapple.It
hinkitwas
toscareusmor ethanwewereandt ot el
lthe
tr
uthitwasworking
Kwena:
"Weswearwedon'
thav
eyourmoney"
Hel
aughedbi
tt
erl
y
"UyatiIwor
kedhar
df orLA!qui
z...Ispend
sleepl
essnight
sworkingtoputla!qui
zwherei
t
i
st odayandNinay
oucomet oruinmysuccess
? "
*
*Yoh!
!!
!Sohe'
stheownerofLA!
qui
z??
?!*
**
Wekeptqui
et 
Hecont
inuedchoppi
ngt
heappl
ever
yhar
d 
Luu:
"I
'l
lgi
veyoutwoopti
ons..
.Thatwi
l
lbeto
gi
vemeal lmymoneyandpeopleyouworked
wit
hthenIlety
ougoornottogivememy
moneythenIkil
lyou"
Kwena:"
We'l
lgi
veyouyourmoney..
.Wepromise
i
fyouletusgo,youwon'
teverseeusagain"
kwenawasmor escar
ed 
Her
aisedhi
sey
ebr
ow
"
Thent
hepeopl
eyouwor
kedwi
th?
"
Webot
hkeptqui
et 
Hest
oodup
"
Iguessyousti
ll
needsometimetodecide,
t
henI'
ll
giveyouafewminui
test
odot hat"
Hewal
kedt
otheki
tchenbutst
oodhal
fway
 
andt
urnedbackt
ous 
"
Boi
tumel
oyouar
eslowi
ngmakingmeshow
y
oumydarksi
de!"Hewal
kedout 
.
..
"Hei
stheownerofLA!
qui
z"kwenawhi
sper
ed
pani
cki
ng 
Ibi
temynai
l
s(Iusual
l
ydot
hatwhenI
'
m scar
ed)
"Wher
eisyourcel
l
phone,weneedt
ocal
l
Thomastocomer esueus.
..
."

Eventhebl
indswouldseethatThomaswas
behi
ndLuthandofi
ndingusbutIcoul
dn'
ttel
l
KwenabecauseIknewhowcr azyshewould
get.
..
•
•
•
#Lut
hando
I
fmyi ntent
ionsweretoki
llt
hem thenIwould
havelongdonethatbutIj
ustwant edtot
ortur
e
them .
IshouldsayKwenaisLuckyt ohav
e
Boit
umel obyhersi
debecauseifitwasn'
tfor
herthenIwouldhavelongchoppedherbody
part
s...
Irol
ledabluntonemor et i
mewhi leIwasst il
lin
thekit
chent okeepmysel fbusywhilethe
bit
cheswer estil
ldeci
ding, Ihopetheirdeci
sion
wasgonnabewor t
hit.
.Myphoner angwhi l
eI
wasst i
l
lpuffingsomeweedandIgr oaned
whenBoi neelo'
snamef lashedont hescreen 
"
Hey?
"Ianswer
ed 
Her:
"Babear
eyouar
eyourapar
tment
?Ihav
ea
sur
prisef
oryou"
Ir
oll
edmyey
es 
"
Yeah"
Her
:"
OkayI
'
m onmyway.
Lov
eyou"
Shehungup.
.
"
Great!
Shej
ustsav
edt
hepar
ty!
!"
*
*Not
ethesar
casm*
*
Iwal
kedbacktotheki
tchenandst
ooddoor
waywhil
eleani
ngonthewall
 
"
Hav
eyoudeci
dedy
et?
''
Boit
umelo:
"We..
..
wewi
llgi
veal
lyourmoney
back..
"Hevoi
cewasgr
aspy 
"
Andt
hepeopl
eyouwor
kedwi
th?
"
Shekeptqui
et 
"
Hai
y.Youcango"
Theyst
oodup.
"
Onewr
ongmov
e!You'
l
lhav
emet
odeal
wit
h"
Theybot
hnoddedr
epeat
edl
y 
IgaveKwenamykey sandsewalkedout
..
Boitumelowasaboutt
owalkpastmebutI
hel
dherarm, t
urni
ngherwai
stt
obr i
ngher
morecloser.
.
Herey
esshowedf
earonl
y.
Herbodywasj
ustst
if
f 
"
Rel
ax,
wil
lyou?
"Iwhi
sper
ed 
Me:"
I'
llaskThomastokeepy
ouinhis
apar
tmentuntil
Ifi
gur
eoutwhatIcandowi
th
youfornowbehave"
Shekeptqui
et 
Ir
anmyt
humbonherf
ace 
Andsmi
l
ed 
"
Cont
inuebei
ngagoodgi
rl"
Shebi
thert
rembl
i
ngl
i
p 
"
Don'
tsweat,
Iwon'
tki
l
lyou"
 
Sheclosedhereyes.
..
Imadesi
remybreat
hhi
t
hardonherskinandIsmi
ledwhenshehad
goosebumps
Ir
anmyt humbtoherchi
nandmadeherl i
ps
meetmineandtr
iedtoki
ssherbutshecoul
dn'
t
gi
veinmakingmesuckherl
owerlipver
yhard
andshefl
inchedinpai
n..
Ilaughedwhil
elett
ing
hergoandcreati
ngspaceforhertopass 
AndIsmi
l
edev
enwi
derwhenshewal
kedout.
..
.

Mot
her
'shat
red 
 
TOBECONTI
NUED
[
04/
28,
17:
46]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t10

'
Theobsessi
onformot her
'sl
ovefor
everli
ves
wi
thi
nmewi thhopethatsomedayshemi ght
wakewit
hloveformei nsi
deher.
Butthe
mist
akesarecount
lessbecauseofherhatr
ed'
-
Boi
tumel
o
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Iwasemot i
onal
lyandphysical
lyweak.
..
Just
whenIthoughtmyl i
fewi
l
l beatpeacet
hen
ther
eappearsLuthandot
ot akemebackto
squareone..
.
I
twasj
ustobv
iousprost
it
uti
onismyli
feand
t
her
ewasn'
tanythi
ngIwoulddoabouti
t..
Kwenahasbeenlockedupinherr
oom since
wecameback..Shewastraumati
zedandI
woul
dn'
tblameher,Lut
handoscaredherthe
most.
.
..
.Iwenttot
herest hefoll
owingdayandI
shouldsayitwasn'tmyluckydayasIfound
mom t al
ki
ngtoallgir
ls..
Iwasabouttoturn
backbutitwasalreadylateasshealr
eadysaw
meandcal l
edoutmyname. .
Her
:"
Wher
ehav
eyoubeen?
"Ikeptqui
et 
Shet
urnedbackt
othegi
rl
s 
"Meeti
ngadjour
ned.
..
Youcanwalkbacktoyour
hotel
s..
.RememberIsai
dnolesst
hanfour
cli
ent
stoday"
Theyal
lnodded 
Her
:"
Youmaybeexcused"
Theyal
lwal
kedoutandshesteppedtowar
ds
meandgavemet hehot
testcl
apever..
"
HOW DAREYOUDI SAPPEARLIKETHAT?
!"She
wasshoutingandIcoul
dn'
tev
enstopmytear
s
f
rom escapingmyeyes 
Her
:"Ar
eyouawar
ethatIl
ostcl
i
ent
sbecause
ofy
ou?"
Ikeptqui
et.
.Iknewbet
tert
hant
obackchather
 
Her:
"Boi
tumeloI
'mtir
edofyourbehav
iour,
you'
repi
ssingmeoff..
.El
egor
eKwenaokae
(
Andwher ethehel
li
skwena)?"
.
.
"
BOLELA!
!!
"Sheshout
ed 
"She.
..
shei
sinhospi
tal
..Wegotr
aped"
Ihadt
oli
esoshewoul
dn'
tdosomet
hingt
ous.
.
Atl
easti
thel
pedbecauseatl
eastIsawal
i
ttl
e
"
pit
y"i
nhereyes 
Her
:"
Oh?
"
Isatonthebedandletoutaver
yloudsob
whichl
eftmeemotionall
yaski
ngmyselfon
wherewasithi
ddenfrom?
Shet
ookherphoneoutandt
ypedsomet
hing 
Her:"OkayI'
l
lgi
vey ouaweekof fbutwena
Boitumeloyou'
l
l havetocomeandst ayi
nmy
house, Ihavev
isitor
sthatneedstoseeyouand
Boineelo"
Inoddedwhi
l
ewi
pingmyt
ear
s 
Her:
"Youcangoandfet
chy
ourcl
othswher
e
everyouputt
hem "
Shewal
kedoutaf
tersay
ingt
hat.
..
Atl
eastIsawsomet
hingi
nhert
oday,
whi
chi
s
pi
ty.
..
.

Ist
oodupimmediatel
ytocat
chacabt
o
Thomas'
splace.
..
.
•
•
•
#Lut
hando 
Boineel
ospendthenightatmyapartment
..
First
lyIenj
oyedbei
ngar oundherbuther
presenceendedsuf
focati
ngme. Orwasit
becausemymi ndwasn'tallar
oundher?
Ineversl
eptl
astni
ght,al
lIkeptont
hinki
ng
aboutwasBoit
umelo..
soIwokeupint he
morningandmadeanexcuseofmeet i
ngmy
l
awy er.
.
SoIl
eftBoi
neel
oal
oneanddr
ovet
oThomas'
s
pl
ace.
..
Ipar
kedout
sideandwal
kedi
n..
Thedoorwashal fclosedandIcouldsee
Boitumelosit
ti
ngononeoft hehighchai
rs
l
eani ngonthetablewit
hherhandsbalancing
herforeheadandsobbingveryl
oudandt hat
brokemyhear t..
.
Isl
owlyopenedt
hedoorandwal
kedi
nsi
det
o
whereshewassit
ti
ng.
.
Itr
iedt
otouchherbutshejumpedup..Imust
havest
art
ledher.
.Shetr
iedtowipehertear
s 
"
Boi
tumel
o..
..
."Igav
ehert
hequest
ioni
ngl
ook
Her
:"
Lut
hando?
..
..
.whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"
Me:
"Icamet
oseey
ou.
..
Youdon'
tseem okay"
Shesmi
l
edt
ryi
ngt
ohi
deherpai
n 
Her
:"
I'
m okay
..
I'
mjustcomi
ngdownwi
thf
lu"
Me:
"You'
resuchabadl
i
ery
ouknow?
"
Shesatdownagai
nandcov
eredherf
ace.
..
Somet
hingcaughtmyat
tent
ionont
het
abl
e
andIt
ooki
tandi
twasr
atex 
"
BOI
TUMELONO!
!Tel
lmey
oudi
dn'
tdr
inki
t"
shekeptqui
et 
"
Boi
tumel
oman!
!!
"Ishout
ed 
Her
:"
Rel
axwi
l
lyou?
" 
.
..
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Therearenowordsthatcoul
dev enbegi
nto
descri
bethel
oveIhaveforLuthando..
.
Hecomplet
esme..I
nhi
m Ihav
efoundwhatu
haveal
wayswant
ed.Hei
scute,l
oaded,
is
car
ryi
ngandal
l.
Het
akesagoodcar
eofme.
WhenIt
oldhi
m Ihav
eachi l
d,iexpect
edhimto
j
udgemebutIwassurpr
isedtoseehim st
il
l
l
ovi
ngme...
Inev ergottotellhim aboutmyot herchil
donly
becauseI 'm al
soont heprocessofforgett
ing
hi
m, Ial
sonev ertoldhimI '
mjustagirlt
hathas
nothingev enmat ri
cbutst il
ldependsonher
mot herandbl essersf orever
ythi
ngandI '
m sti
ll
notpl anni
ngt otellhim. .
.

IwasaloneatLuthando'
splaceboredwhen
ther
ewasaknockont hedoor..
.Iworemy
sli
pper
sanddraggedmysel ftothekit
chent o
welcomethepersonbutshebeatmet oitwhen
sheopenedthedoorandwel comedher sel
fin..

Ther
ewalkedi
nav er
ybeauti
ful
womanwho
l
ookedi
nmi df
ort
iespushi
ngababypr
em .
She
waswearingmontagedresswit
hitsmatchi
ng
bl
azerandbluenudeheels.
.ShehadPeruvi
an
hai
randtrustmeshewasbey ondbeaut
iful
..
Shegav
emet
hebaddestl
ookev
er 
"
Mol
o(Hel
l
o"shef
inal
l
ygr
eet
ed.
..
IassumedshewasLut
hando'
smot
herpl
us
theyl
ookedal
ike
Me:"
Molomama,
unj
ani
e(Hel
l
omom howar
e
you)?"
 
Her:
"Andingumamakhomna. .Uphi
e
u'
Luthandolwethu(I
'm noty
ourmother.
Wher
eis
Lut
handol wet
hu? "
*
*Ouch*
*
Ihadt
oactaspol
i
teasev
er 
Me:
"Hei
soutt
omeethi
slawy
er"
Herl
i
pst
wit
ched
"Mmh?Soyou'
ret
hegir
lthat'
skeepi
nghi
m
awayf
rom hi
sdaught
er?"Sheasked 
Me:
"Huh?
"
He:
"Ut
hiny
wa?
"
Me:"
I..
.Wewer
epl
ani
ngoncomi
ngt
ofet
cht
he
chi
l
donweekend"
(Ly
ing)
Her
:"Okay.
.Ar
eyouLut
hando'
sgi
rl
fr
iend?
"
Isl
owl
ynodded 
Shesmi
l
ed 
Her
:"
Tel
lmemor
eabouty
oursel
f"
Itol
dherbutaddingspi
ceher
eandthere..
.And
pouredheradri
nkandconti
nuedhavi
ngthe
mother-daught
erinl
awbond(Marry
ingmyself)
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

It
hankGodt
hatBoi
tumel
odi
dn'
tdr
inkt
her
atex
...
Ispendtheti
mewithhertil
lhermothercal
led
tel
li
nghershe'
swaiti
ng..
.Wenev ergotthe
chancetotal
konwhat '
sbotheri
ngherbutIsaw
i
tthroughhereyest
hatitwassomet hi
ngbig...
Idr
ovebackt
omyapart
mentadIwas
wel
comedbyBoi
neel
oandmymother
's
l
aught
er 
"
OHNOI 'M NOTREADYTOCOMMI TMYSELF
..
especi
all
ynotwi
thBoi
neel
o!"
Isai
dtomysel
f
whil
ewalki
ngin

Igr
eet
edwhi
l
eki
ssi
ngmymot
her
 
Her
:"Heybaby"
Il
aughedwhi
lepicki
ngmydaught
erf
rom t
he
pr
em andki
ssingher 
"
Daddy
'sangel
!"
Mom:
"Youhav
egotgr
eatt
ast
einwomen.
"
Il
ookedatherandsheey
edBoi
neel
o
"
Str
ong,humbl
e,l
ovi
ngandeducat
edaswel
l
"
shespokemaki
ngmechokeonmybreat
h 
Mom:
"Youshoul
dmar
ryher"
Ir
aisedmyey
ebr
ow 
Me:
"I
tsst
il
lear
lyf
ormar
ri
agema,
"
Her:
"You'
refor
everdat
ingt
hatLuthando..
You
havetohaveawomenwhowi l
ltakecar
eof
yourchi
ld"
Me:
"ButIhav
eyounj
e?"
Her
:"
Ishuu!
Igi
veup"
,
Mom:"Ishouldgetgoi
ng..
"shelookedat
Boi
neel
o"I'
llseeyouwhenIvisi
tyourhome
pr
obabl
yFriday"
Boi
neel
osmi
l
ed 
*
*Vi
si
t??nowt
hisi
sdeep!
!*
*
.
..
.
Mot
her
'shat
red 
 
TOBECONTI
NUED
[
04/
28,
17:
46]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t11

'
All
Iev
erneededwasherl
ove.
.
Herl
ovet
obui
l
tmeandmakemest
ronger.
.
Herl
ovet
ohelpmegr
owol
dbutheral
lshehad
i
nherwashat
red.
.
Herhat
redt
hatki
l
ledanddest
roy
edme'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Ihadmyluggageinhandadmir
ingtheplace.I
t
fel
tli
keadream ,
adream t
hatIal
way swished
f
orittocomet
rue..
.Iwasfi
nal
l
yhome. Aplace
wheremyhear
talwaysyear
nedtobeat..
.
Myphoner
angbr
ingi
ngmebackt
oreal
i
ty..
.
Itookitf
rom mypockett
ocheckthecal
lerI
D
butitwasanunsavedyetf
amil
iarnumber 
.
"
I'
m atThomaspl
ace.
.wher
ear
eyou?
"
Ir
oll
edmyey
es,
itwasLut
hando 
Me:
"I
'm home"
Hi
m:"
Home?
"
Me:
"Yeah.
.Whatdoy
ouwant?
"
Hi
m:"
Toseey
ou"
Me:
"Lut
handoI
'
m busy"
hl
Him:"
Iwasn'
taski
ngyou..
Sendmet
he
l
ocati
onandI'
m dri
vi
ngther
enow"
Me:
"Lut
handopl
e..
."
Hi
m:"
Okayseey
oui
naf
ew"
Hehunguponme 
Ini
bbl
edmyl
owerl
i
pinf
rust
rat
ion.
.
l
uthandowasr
eal
l
ypi
ssi
ngmeof
f..
HeKnowsIf
earhi
m andhet
akesadv
ant
ageof
t
hat.
..
IwishIcoul
djustst
abhimt
odeat
hbuthe
real
lyi
nti
midat
esme. .
.
.
Someonej umpedonmeandhuggedmef r
om
behindstar
tl
ingme..
.Il
ookedbackand
screamedinjoywhenIsawThato(Boi
neel
o's
daughter)
.
..
"
OhmyGodThat
o!"
shelaughed.
.Ihuggedhert
ightandshesl
i
ght
ly
pushedme 
Her
:"
Boi
tumel
omar
n!"
Il
aughed 
Me:
"You'
resogr
ownup.
.AndImi
ssedy
oubaby
"
Sher
oll
edherey
es 
Her
:"
Uhuh.
.onl
ybaei
sal
l
owedt
ocal
lmet
hat"
i
laughed 
Me:
"Konj
ehowol
dar
eyou?
"
Her
:"
12"
Ichokedonmybr
eat
handcoughed 
"
Yety
ouhav
eaboy
fri
end?
"Iasked 
Shesuckedhert
humbandnodded.
.Il
aughed 
"
Doesy
ourgr
andmaknowy
ouhav
eaboy
fri
end
?"
Herl
i
pst
wit
ched 
"
She'
stoool
dtounder
stand"
.
Ilaughedev
enmore..
That
oandIal way
shad
thatstr
ongbond,
thebondthatev
enherand
Boi
neel
onev
ershar
ed.
..
Mymot hertr
iedtocuti
twhenshepermanently
mov edmetot hepr
osti
tut
eresbutshefai
led
becauseThatoandIWouldmeetandf or
ever
cal
leachother..
Her:
"Sosi
ncewel
li
tsonl
yusf
ort
oni
ght,
How
aboutwegoout?
"
Ir
aisedmyey
ebr
ow 
"
Wher
eisBoi
neel
o?Yourgr
andma?
"
Her
:"
Kokoi
soutofthecount
ryandasf
or
Boi
neel
o,I
'
dbelyi
ngifIsai
dIknew"
Me:
"Yoh.
"
.
i
twasanadvantageformet otextLuthandot
o
come..
ButIwasn'tgonnashowhi m home
..
Maybemeeti
ngast r
eetawaywasgonnado. .
"Uhh.
.I'
l
lal
sobeoutbutf
oraf
ewmi
nut
es
okay?
"
ShenoddedsoIt
ext
edLut
handot
hel
ocat
ion.
..
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

Il
eftBoineel
oaloneanddrovetoThomas'
s
pl
ace. .
.Ir
eal
lyneededtoseeBoit
umelo.
.I
meanIwasphy si
call
ywit
hBoineel
obutmy
heartandmindwer ewit
hBoit
umelo
.
.
Myheartboil
edinangerwhenKwenat
oldme
she'
snotaround..
.
Wassheseei
ngany
one?
Bet
ternotbecausei
fsot
henI
'
llbegoi
ngon
ki
ll
i
ngmode?
.
..
.
..
.
.
.
..
.
Idr
ovetothelocat
ionshehadsentmebut
wasn'
ttheexacthouseaddr
essbutj
uststr
eet
nameandpar kedt
hencall
edherandtol
dherI
havear
riv
ed...
.
isawherappr
oachi
ngmycarandget
ti
ngi
nsi
de
aft
erafewminut
es..
Shewassmel
li
ngsoni
ce.
.Shewasi
nli
ghtpi
nk
si
lkni
ght
iewi
thi
tsmat
chi
nggown 
"
Whatdoy
ouwant?
"
sheaskedassoonasshegoti
nmycar
 
Me:
"I
sthaty
ourwayofgr
eet
ing?
"
Sher
oll
edherey
es 
Her
:"
Luthandoi
tsl
ate.
..
Mymot heri
spr
obabl
y
wor
riedaboutmywher
eabout
s!"
Me:
"Buty
ouj
ustgother
e?"
Shekeptqui
et 
Me:
"Okay.
.Iwant
edt
oapol
ogi
se"
Her
:"
For?
"
Me:"LookBoit
umel o..
I'
m notgoodwi t
hthisbut
I
'l
ljustgetst
raightt
othepoi nt.
.IknowIwas
wrongpunishingyouguy sl
ikethatandI'
m sorr
y
"
Shesmi
l
ed 
"
You'
ref
orgi
ven.
.NowcanIgo?
"
Inodded.
.i
twasobv
iousIwasj
ustwai
sti
ngmy
ti
mehere..

Thisbit
chwassupposedtobethankf
ul
becauseapol
ogisi
nghasneverbeenpartofme
soIputmyprideawayandcompr omisedfor
her..
.
Sheexi
tedthecarbuti
justf
eltt
heurget
oal
so
exi
tandkisshersohar
dandIdid..
.
Ical
l
edouthernameandshel
ookedback 
"
Comeher
e"
shedi
dbutst
oodaf
ewmet
resaway.
..
Istret
chedmyhandforherandshebroughti
t
that'
swhenIgotaccesst
obringhermore
closerwit
hmyotherhandholdi
ngontoherti
ny
waist..
.
.
.
OurlipslipsmetandIsl owlysuckedherbott
om
l
ipwai t
ingf oranassur ancefr
om herto
conti
nueandsheAl sosuckedont omine
deepeningt hekiss..Myhandhel dontoherbutt
whil
et heot hermadei tinsi
dehernighti
e,
massagi ngherbr eastsgoingdownwhi l
e
tr
acingincy clesonherst omachdownt oher
womanhood. .
Thankgodshewasn' tweari
ng
anyundi
es.
.
Every
thi
nggotheatedupwhenourbreat
hing
changedandsi
lentmoansandgroansescapi
ng
ourli
psthr
oughourkisses.
..
Shepull
edoutmaki
ngmegr
oanl
oudandshe
chuckl
ed.
.
"
Howaboutwet
aket
hisi
nsi
dey
ourcar?
"She
whi
sper
ed.
.
Maki
ngt
hei
nnermani
nmedancei
njoy.
.
Ipul
ledherhandopeni
ngthebacksi
tdoorand
wegotinsi
de...Wewai
stednoti
mebecausewe
werebothonandIswearwaist
ingmoreti
me
wouldhavekil
ledme..
Shehel
pedunzi
pmyjeanandsatontoponme
i
nacomf or
tabl
eposi
ti
ont
oenterherbutshe
st
oppedme 
"
Prot
ect
ion?
"sheasked 
Igr
oaned 
Me:
"Il
efti
t"
Her
:"
HaLut
handoi
-"
Shekeptqui
etandsi
ghed 
Her:
"You'
l
lputout?
"
Me:
"Iai
n'
tdoshi
t!"
Shewasaboutt
ogetoffmewhenIt
ight
ened
mygri
ponherwaist.
.
Isi
ghed 
"Okay..
Iwi
ll
pulloutke"
ShenoddedandI
enter
edherslowl
yandheldherwai
stt
ohelp
herri
deme...
Shetwerkedonmesl owl
y..
.sl
owl
yandsl
owl
y
.Andpickedourpaces..
.
Thi
sgi
rlher
ewasgivi
ngmegoosebumps..
She
wasgi
vi
ngmef or
eignfeel
i
ngs.
Hermoans
wer
eli
keSoftmusi
cinmyears..
.
Kei
thsweatmadethi
ngsworsewhenhi
ssong
st
art
edplayi
ngi
nthebackgr
oundonmytape
.
.Maki
ngmegetl
ostt
oawor
ldofpl
easur
e..
.
.
Allbecamesogoodwhenwewer ebothabout
tocomemaki ngmeholdhertighterandpush
herdownandgoi nandoutofherf asterunt
il
bothourbodiesshookl
ett
ingpleasuretakeour
ourbodiesandrel
easeoursel
vesinsideeach
other..
.
.
.
Ohno.
.It
otal
l
yfor
gotIpr
omi
sedt
opul
lout!
!!
..
.
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina

JustwhenIwal
kedoutofPri
son,myhome..
I
knewIhadtost
artanewli
feagai
n..
Icoul
dn'
t
bel
iev
ethatIwasf
inal
l
youtbutIwashappybut
al
sounhappy..
.
Shi
rl
eyt
ouchedmyhand 
Her
:"Ar
eyouokay
?"
Inodded 
Her
:"
I'
m exci
tedt
haty
ou'
ref
inal
l
youtma"
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:
"Yes.
.I
'
m al
soexci
ted"
Iwasl
yi
ng,
Iwasn'
tsur
eifIwasexci
tedorsad.
.
Idon'
tknowwher
eIwasgonnast
artwi
thmy
l
ife.
..
Ihadtostar
tlooki
ngallar
oundf
ormymi xed
puzzl
estoputthem backi
nacorrectf
orm but
wherewasIgonnabegi n?
.
..
..
TOBECONTI
NUED 
[
04/
28,
17:
47]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t12

'
Icl
osemyey esasIlett
earsofsadnessescape
myey es.
Softsobsturntoloudones..
She
l
ooksatmeandexi ttheroom ..
.Mom!!!
..
Mom
!!
!.
..
Mom!!!.
.Herhat
redtowardsmadeher
i
gnoremysobs'
-
Boi
tumel
o

#Kwena

Lut
handohasmademyl i
feali
vinghell.
..
Ever
si
nceheshotri
ghti
nbetweenmyl egs,Inever
sl
eptapeacef
ulsl
eepatal
l..
Nightmaresare
myev
ery
dayf
ood.
.
Icoul
dn'
tevencopeatal
lwhi
chmademeget
backtosmokingweedandmixi
twi
thKATdr
ug
..
Hel
i
ter
all
ytookmebackt
osquar
eone.
.
.
.
Iwassit
ti
ngonthehighchai
raloneandhad
j
ustsmokedweedandwasdr i
nkinghennesyin
acupwhenThomas, Lut
hando, Luthando'
s
brot
herandsomelesbi
anchickwalkedi n.
..
Lut
handowhi
stl
ed 
"
Tea?Ont
hissunnyday?
"
Il
ookedathi
m 
Me:
"I
tsmyf
avour
it
edr
ink'
Theychuckl
ed.
.Theyal
lj
oinedmeont
he
hi
ghchair
s 
Luu'
sbr
other
:"Youl
ookf
ami
l
iar
"
Ichokedont
hedr
inkmaki
ngLut
handol
augh 
Luu:
"Yeahshedoes,
butwe'
renother
efort
hat
"
Ist
oleagl
anceatLut
handot
henatThomas
Me:"
Inevert
houghty
ou'
ref
ri
endswi
th
Lut
hando"
Thom:
"Wear
e"
Ismi
l
eddr
inki
ngmyHennessey
 
LesbianChi
ck:
"Ar
eyousur
eyou'
redr
inki
ngt
ea
i
nt here?
"
Ichokedoni
tagai
nandcoughed.
Theyal
l
l
aughed 
Me:
"Ye.
.Yah!
"
Her
:"
CanI-
"
shespokesnat
chi
ngi
tfr
om meanddr
inki
ngi
t.
Shecoughedandt
heyal
ll
aughed.
.Iwasr
eal
l
y
embarr
assed 
Her
:"
She'
ssogood"
Lut
hando:
"Iknow.
..
Soshecoul
ddof
orus"
Iwasl
ost
 
"
auhh?
"
Lut
hando:
"Kwenawehav
eal
i
ttl
ejobf
ory
ou"
Me:
"Me?
"
Him:
"Yeah.
.Weneedy
out
odosomet
hingf
or
us."
Il
ookedathi
m br
ingi
ngal
lmyf
ocust
ohi
m 
Hi
m:"
Phal
adi
Att
orney
s?"
Me:
"Sout
hAf
ri
ca'
snumberonef
ir
m?"
Henodded 
Him:"
Appar
entl
y 
Wehav esomet
hingwhi
chwe
needint
herewhichi
sveryi
mport
antand
neededASAP"
Me:
"And?
"
Hi
m:"
OneofThefi
rm'
sSeni
oraccount
sisfl
yi
ng
t
oJapanFr
idaywi
tht
hatt
hingwhichweneed"
Ikeptqui
et 
Lesbi
an:"
Andthat
'swher
eyoucomei
n.We
needyoutodi
str
acthi
m abi
t"
Iswal
l
owedhar
d 
Me:
"How?
"
Luu:
"Seducehim,Gi
vehim ever
ythi
ngheneeds
..
Justanythi
ngyoucoul
dgivehim"
Iswal
l
owedev
enhar
der
 
Me:
"That
sisbi
g"
Luu:
"Ver
ybi
gandi
fyoumesst
hisupI
'
m ki
l
li
ng
you"
Me:
"Lut
handoIcan'
t"
Him:
"Kwenayouowemesoyou'
l
ldoi
tordo
youwantBoi
tumel
otodoi
t?"
Me:
"No!
NoI
'
lldoi
t"
Theyal
lsmi
l
ed.
.
Ihav
etodoi
tespeci
all
yforBoi
tumel
obecause
shei
stooweakf
orsucht
hings.
..
Eveni
fit
sbigt
henI
'
llhav
etoputmyf
earasi
de
anddoit.
.
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Iwasi
ntheguestbedr
oom st
alki
ngLuthando
onIG.
.Hi
spict
urr
esweresobeautif
ul.
.
Allheal
way spostedwashisdai
l
ypi
ctur
es,
howhedr ess,Hisclub,
somebabyandhis
"t
win"br
other(Thecapti
ons)
.
..
Someonecl
earedt
hei
rthr
oatandIl
ooked
door
wayandItwasBoi
neelo.
.
Ismi
l
edput
ti
ngmyphoneundert
hepi
l
low 
Her
:"
Sti
l
linbedt
hist
ime?
" 
Ichuckl
ed 
Me:
"Isl
eptl
atel
astni
ghtsoum t
ir
ed"
Her
:"
Oh.
."
Me:
"Whendi
dyouar
ri
ve?
"
Her
:"
Justnow"Shesaidwal
ki
ngi
nandsi
tt
ing
ont
hebedr i
ghtnextt
ome 
Shedi
dn'
tl
ookf
ineatal
l.
"
Arey
ouokay?
"
*
*Si
l
ence*
*
Isnappedmyf
inger
s
Her
:"
Uh?
"
Me:
"Boi
neel
owhati
sit?
"
Her
:"
Boy
fri
endi
ssues"
Ikeptqui
etbecauseIwasn'
tanexpectt
o
rel
ati
onshi
pproblems..
Ihavenev
erbeenina
rel
ati
onshi
pandIdon'tt
hinkI'
l
leverbei
na
r
elat
ionshi
p 
Theonlythi
ngthat
'snewtomeisHavi
ngsex
wit
haper sonmorethanonce,
whi
chLuthando
hastaughtme..
andbesidesifi
twasKwenaIwouldtryand
l
ist
ent henmaybetr
ytocheerherupbutsi
nce
welli
tsBoineel
oIj
ustdon'
tknow 
Her
:"
I'
m wor
ri
edaboutmyboy
fri
endBoi
tumel
o"
Ikeptqui
etst
il
l 
Her
:"
Wil
li
tbeokayi
fIt
ell
youev
ery
thi
ng?"
Me:
"Mmmh?
..
Yeah 
..
Yea!
"
Her :
"Okay..
Wemetaf ewweeksbackandI
sleptwithhimthever
ysameni ght.
.Ialr
eady
methi smotherandhismotherreal
lylovesme
andi swil
li
ngmakeust akeourrel
ati
onshipto
thenextlevel"
*
*OkayWhatshoul
dIsay?
***
"
Then?
"that
'sal
limanagedt
oask 
Her
:"Hei
salwaysbusy.
Hedoesn'
tgi
vemehi
s
t
ime,comesbacklat
eanddoesn'
tev
ent
ouch
me"
Me:
"Ei
sh.
.Whatdoeshedoagai
n?"
Her
:"
Hei
sanaccount
antanddoesot
hert
hings
ont
hesi
de"
Me:
"May
bewor
kit
swhatkeepshi
m busy.
."
Her
:"
But
-"
Me:"
Boineel
ojustbegladheint
roducedy
out
o.
hi
smothertoshowy ouhealsoloveyou.
Many
donotgetthatoppor
tuni
ty!"
Iwasget
ti
ngpi
ssed
Shenodded.
.
Her
:"
,Okayt
hanks.
.Sowenaanyguy?
"
Me:"No.
.Idon'
twantaguyt
ocompl
i
cat
emy
al
readycomplicat
edl
if
e"
-
Lut
hando?
NoLut
handoi
sn'
tmyguybutj
ustsomeonewe
hav
ecasual
sex.
SpeakingofLuthando.Ifor
gottogett
he
morningafterpi
ll
s..Iqui
ckl
ystoodupandwor
e
mysleepers 
Her
:"
Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
"
Me:
"Tot
hemal
l.
.If
orgott
ogetsomet
hing"
Shenodded.
Iwal
keddownstai
rswher
eIfound
That
odoingGodknowswhatwithBoi
neel
o'
s
makeup 
Her:
"Boi
tumelocany
oupleaset
akemepi
cs,
I
needtouploadt
hem onmyfb"
Me:
"That
oI'
m-"
Her
:"
Aunt
iepl
ease?"
Shemadeapuppyf
ace 
Il
aughedokay
 
I
'
llhav
etogobuyt
hem t
omor
row.
..
.
•
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

"
Whosai
dso?
"
Baf
ana:
"It
sobv
iousMFETHU.
.Youl
oveher"
Me:"Idon'
tloveherandwena.
.Baf
anastayi
n
yourlanebecauseI'
ll
endupsmackingy
ou!"
Theyal
ll
aughed.
..
Wewer
est
il
lchi
l
li
ngatThomas'
spl
ace.
.
Andwewerear
gui
ngaboutmel
ovi
ng
Boi
tumel
o..
Ihaveneverfel
li
nlovehenceIdon'tknowhow
i
tfeelt
of al
li
nlove.ButwhenIthoughtof
Boit
umeloIgotdiff
erentf
eel
ings..
Feeli
ngsthat
arefor
eigntome 
Shi
rl
ey:
"Iser
iousl
ywi
sht
omeett
hatchi
ck"
Me:
"Ther
e'snochi
ckt
omeetsol
eti
tgo"
Theyl
aughedev
enl
ouder
..
.
Thomas:
"You'
l
lmeetherwenaShi
rl
ey"

Wekeptqui
et 
Thomas:"Butl
uuMFETHUhav ey
oudonea
backgr
oundcheckonherbef
oregoi
ngforher?
"
Me:"
Hai
yBant
ucan'
tyouj
ustst
opt
alki
ngabout
her"
Baf
ana:
"Youmeant
hemy
ster
iousgi
rl
?"
Me:
"Mx
m"
.
..
"Thomas:"Luui
fyouhaven'
tdoneit,Iref
eryou
doitbecauseyoumightfi
ndbadinformati
on
aboutherwhenalr
eadytoolat
e".
.

"Youmi
ghtf
indbadi
nfor
mat
ionabouther
wheni
tst
ool
ate?
"Whatexact
lydi
dhei
mpl
yby
t
hat?
.
.
TOBECONTI
NUED 
[
04/
28,
17:
47]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
  
Inser
t13

'
Mot her
ssitt
ingtoget
her..
Talkingaboutthe
futur
eoftheirbabi
es..
Talkingaboutthelove
theyhaveforthei
rchi
ldr
en.ButIj ustkeepon
wonderingwhatmyownmot hertel
l
st hem
aboutmebecauseherhat redtowardsmehas
measkingal otofquest
ions'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Li
fewasabsol utelybett
erthanIhadanti
cipat
ed
athomebecausemymot herwasoutofthe
count
ryf orabusinessconf er
enceand
accor
dingt oBoi
neel oshewasgonnacome
backaftertwoweeks. .
.
..
Ihadjustfi
nishedtaki
ngawarm bat
handwas
busyl
ookingf orsomethi
ngt
owearinmy
l
uggagewhenat extonmycell
phonecame
thr
ough..Icheckedit 
"
Let
sdobr
eakf
ast.
.
-
Lut
hando"
.
.
"
Okay"sent
 
.
..
"
I'
ll
bet
her
einaf
ewmi
nut
es.
Sogetr
eady"
-
Lut
hando..
.
Ij
ustdecidedonaplainbluej
eans,
whi
tev
est,
deminbluehalfj
acketandwhit
evans.
.
Idi
dli
ghtmakeupt
henheadeddownst
air
s. 
Boi
neel
owashav
ingbr
eakf
astwi
thThat
o 
Me:
"Mor
ninggoodpeopl
e"
Them:
"Mor
ning"
Boineel
o:"
Wher
ear
eyougoi
ngl
ooki
ngsof
resh
thi
searly?
"
Me:
"I
'm meet
ingKwenaf
orbr
eakf
ast"
Her:
"Ohokay.
.I
'm goi
ngoutany
wayhowabout
gi
vi
ngy ouari
de?"
Me:
"NoI
'
m okay.
.Herboy
fri
endwi
l
lfet
chme"
Her:
"Oh?
..
Kgant
hepr
ost
it
uteshav
eboy
fri
ends
al
so?"
*
**Pr
ost
it
uteshav
eboyf
ri
endsal
so?
 
Thathi
thome*
**
Il
ookedathert
henatThat
o 
"BabeI'
llseeyoul
ateront
ofi
nishour
photoshootneh?"
Shenodded 
Il
ookedatBoi
neel
o 
Me:"Onl
ybecausey ourmotherdeci
dedtogi
ve
youar i
chli
fedoesn'tmeanyoushouldal
so
undermineother
s"
Her
:"
I-
"
Igav
eherahand 
Me:
"Sav
eit.
."
Iwal
kedoutaf
tersay
ingt
hat.
.
.
.
.
.
Youknow. ..
growingup, Boineel
oandIwer eso
closethatnowouldev erseparateus.
We
foughteachothersbattlebutevery
thi
ng
changedwhenmom t ookmet otheprosti
tutes
res..
ShemadeBoi neelotur
nherbackagai nst
me. Yesshetriestohidethehatemymot her
planti
nherformebutatt imesheractions
showmeandmakesmet oalsohateher.
.
..
Lut
hando'
sRollsRoyceDawnwasal
ready
par
kedastreetawayshowi
nghehasbeen
wai
ting.
.
Igoti
n 
"
Your
eal
l
ydot
akey
ourt
imeneh?
" 
Ismil
edevent
houghi
twasaf
akeone.
.Iwas
toosad 
Hest
art
edt
hei
gni
ti
on 
Hi
m:"
Howar
eyou?
"
Me:
"I
'm okay"
Hest
art
edt
hei
gni
ti
onanddr
oveof
f..
.
Honest
lyspeaki
ngIfoundmysel
fenj
oyi
ng
bei
ngaroundLuthando..
..
•
•
•
#Kwena

Iwassitt
ingatwimpylookingattheguyI'
m
supposedtoseduce.
.Hel ookedold,some
wherearoundlat
e40sandhadar ingonhis
fi
ngershowinghismarri
ed. .
Hewasbusyonhisl
aptop.
Istoodupandkat
walkedt
owherehewasseat
ed. Myhear
twas
beati
ngver
yhar
d..
.
.
Isatont
hechai
ropposi
tehi
m.
"
Suchapeacef
ulpl
acet
odoy
ourwor
kri
ght?
" 
Hel
i
ftedhi
sfaceandl
ookedatme.
..
"
Uhhh?
"
Ichuckl
ed 
Me:
"Suchapeacef
ulpl
acet
odowor
k?"
Hesmi
l
ed 
Hi
m:"
Yeahi
tisi
ndeedpeacef
ul"
Il
aughed 
Me:"
IguessIfoundmypart
ner.
Ilov
ewor
king
her
e, of
fi
ceistoonoi
syf
orme"
Hel
aughedmor
e 
Hi
m:"
Iguesswear
emut
ual
"
Ichuckl
ed 
"
Wher
e'smyr
espectat?
"
"Pr
eciousKhoza"Isai
dgivi
nghim myhand.
He
acceptedwi
thhis,handshaki
ng.Ireal
l
y
neededtoactallf
ormal..
Hi
m:"
SizweTshabal
ala"
Me:"
Andwhatdoesaladyhav
etodot
ogeta
dr
inkar
oundher
e? "
Hi
m:"
I'
m suchabor
e..
WhatcanIgety
ou"
Me:
"Wat
erwi
l
lbef
ine"
Hechuckl
edst
andi
ngup 
"
Comi
ngr
ightaway"
Ismi
l
edev
enwi
derwhenhewal
kedaway
 
Mi
ssi
onnumberone:
Compl
eted 
✔
I
'
llbemov
ingt
ost
ept
wosoon.
..
.
..
.
•
•
•
#Lut
hando
Wedr ovetomyapartmentf
rom t
hemall
..We
hadbreakfastt
hencatchamovi
eandwentice-
skat
ingthenlat
erondrovet
oyapart
ment..
.
..
Bafanawasleani
ngagainstt
hef
ri
dgedoor
dri
nkingj
uicef
rom t
hejug 
"
Real
l
yBaf
ana?
"
Hechuckl
ed 
Hi
m:"
I'
mlazyt
ogot
aket
hegl
assandt
hen?
"
HelookedatBoit
umelo.
..
Iknewhewouldget
madthatI'
m seei
ngsomeonewhostol
efrom
hi
m 
Me:
"It
hinky
ouguy
sal
readymeteachot
her
."
Il
ookedatBoi
tumel
o 
"
Thi
sisyt
winbr
otherBaf
ana 
andBaf
anat
hisi
sBoi
tumel
o"
Heey
edher
 
Him:
"Ni
cetomeety
ou.
.I
'
m goi
ngoutmansee
yout
omorr
owmorni
ng"
Heputthejugbackint
hefri
dget
henwal
ked
out.
.Il
ookedatBoit
umelo 
"
He'
samanwhor
esonev
ermi
ndhi
m"
Shel
aughed.
.
Shelookedsocut
e..
Hersmi
l
ewasnat
ural
and
beauti
ful
Me:
"Canugety
ouany
thi
ng?
"
Her
:"
Lut
handoyouwannaki
l
lme?
Youf
edme
t
hewholeday
"
Il
aughedget
ti
ngcl
osert
oher
 
Me:
"Iwannamakeyoufat"Isai
dhol
dingher
wai
stbri
ngi
nghermoreclosert
ome.Ourli
ps
met..
She'
sgott
hoseti
nybutsweetli
psthatcoul
d
ki
ssyouandsendyoutoheavenri
ghtaway..
Weki
ssedf
oraf
ewsecondst
henpul
l
edout
 
Me:
"Yousl
eepi
ngov
er?
"
Sheshookherheadno.
..
..
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina

Iwasf lyi
ngtoNami
bia..
.Ihadt ogothatsi
de
andt akebackwhat
smi newhi chismycar
dealershi
pwhichmysistertookandmadei t
hers...
ThenIwouldgetbacktoSout
hAf
ri
cat
oput
ever
ythi
ngbackinplace.
 
Iwor
kedhar
dtoear
nther
espectI
 
hadbef
oreIgotar
rest
edsoIneededt
ogeti
t
back.
..
TOBECONTI
NUED 
[
04/
28,
17:
48]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t14

'
HOPE!
!!
 
Hopeisallthatkeepmeal i
ve..I
tkeepsmehere
wit
hallthatshewi l
lsomedayloveme. .
Even
whenIam sur el
ybutslowlycrashi
ng..
Her
hat
redtowar dsmehast aughtmet hemeaning
ofhopeandpat ience"
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

Iwal
kedbackupst
air
swi
that
rayt
hathad
breakfasti
nit..
Iwantedtogiv
eherbreakfasti
n
bed..Iain'
tgoodwit
hev er
ythi
ngbutIjusthad
totry..

Therewasnooneandthebedwasal soni
cel
y
madesoIassumedshe'sintheshowersi
nce
well
showerwaterwasrunni
ng..
.
..
Lastnighti
tallst
art
edbyki
ssingthenonething
l
edt heothersoshecoul
dn'
tleavebecauseit
wasalreadylat
e..
Isatonthebedandkeptmysel
fbusywi
thmy
cell
phone..
Shewal
kedinwi
thatowelwr
apped
aroundherbody
Me:
"Mor
ningsl
eepyhead"
Shel
aughed 
Her
:"
Mor
ning"
Me:
"Iwant
edt
ogety
oubr
eakf
asti
nbedbuti
t
t
urnsI
'
mlat
e"
Shechuckl
ed 
Her
:"Youshoul
dn'
thav
e..
Ihav
etogethome
any
way "
Me:
"Ar
en'
tyouspendi
ngt
hedaywi
thme?
"
Sheshookherheadwhi
l
elot
ioni
ngherbody
 
Me:
"Oh?
"
Shenoddedandwor
ehercl
oths 
Her
:"
IguessI
'
llseey
ouar
ound"
Me:
"Letmedr
ivey
out
hen?
"
Her:
"Not
hankspl
usI'
m meet
ingKwena
somewherear
oundt
hemallanyway"
Shewasr
eal
l
ybr
ushi
ngmeof
f 
Shecamet
owar
dsmeandbr
ushedmyl
i
pswi
th
hert
humb 
"Thi
sisj
ustsexsoIpr
eferify
oudon'
tgetany
deasokay?"Shewhi
spered 
Ibi
tmyl
i
psr
aisi
ngmyey
ebr
ows.
.
Honest
lyspeaki
ngIwast
ooamusedt
oev
en
sayany
thing..
.
I
'mthepersont
hatal
wayssay
ingt
hatt
ogi
rl
s
nott
heotherwayar
ound..
.
.
Wejusthadsexlastni
ght,anunprot
ect
edone
toext
endandhereshecome, tel
li
ngmeI
shoul
dn'
tgetanyideas.
..
Icamebackt
oreal
i
tywhenInot
icedIwasnow
alone.
..
.
.
..
Ichuckl
edal
lal
one 
"
Yahneh"
that
'sal
lImanagedt
osay.
.
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Kwenatext
edmeear
lysay
ingweshoul
dmeet
upatt
hemal l
...
Icat
chacabther
eandi
twasn'
tthatlongdr
ive,
appr
oxi
matel
y15minut
esmaxtot hemall.
.
Ispot tedhersit
ti
ngalonebythecor neratmugg
andbean. .Iwal
kedtoherandal mostcracked
i
nl aught erwhenIsawherwear i
ngagr ey
formal dr
esswithi
tsmat chi
ngblazerandblack
stil
ettosandhadaf il
eont hetablewhile
sippingonsomewat erinaglass 
"
Andt
hen?
"Iaskedassoonasi
satdown.
Sherol
ledherey
esmaki
ngmeser
iousl
ybur
st
i
nlaughter
 
Her
:"Letmeknowwheny
ou'
redonel
aughi
ng"
Shemaintai
nedherser
iousface.
.andIalso
for
cedtokeepseri
ous,knowinghowKwenai s,
shewouldchowmeal i
vefor
getti
ngallpeopl
ein
her
e
Me:
"Andt
hef
ormal
i
ty?"
Her
:"
Arey
oudonel
aughi
ng?"
Inodded 
Her
:"
Okay.
.I'
m meet
ingsomeoneher
e"
Me:
"I
sitani
nter
vieworsomet
hing?
"
Sher
oll
edherey
es 
Her
:"
Iwi
sh.
.How'
shomebyt
heway
?"
Isi
ghed 
Me:"
Iwoul
dn'
tsayi
tsmuchbet
terbecauseI
'
m
har
dlyt
her
e"
"Whatdoyoumeanyou'
rehar
dlyt
her
e?"She
askedcr
ossi
ngherl
egs 
Ibi
tmyl
owerl
i
pinf
ear
 
"
Lut
hando.
..
..
"Iki
ndawhi
sper
ed 
Herey
espopped.
.
Sheunder
stoodme!
!That
'swhatIl
oveabout
her,
she'
saf
astl
ear
ner
 
Her
:"
Lut
handoAkat
heLA!
qui
zowner?
"
Inoddedshy
ly.
Her
:"
Iwoul
dn'
tsayI'
m sur
pri
sed.
itexpl
ainst
he
r
easonwhywesti
ll
aliv
e"
Me:
"Butwear
enotdat
ing,
justhav
ingsex"
Shet
ossedhergl
assar
ound 
Her:
"I
tal
lst
art
edt
her
e..
Butany
wayar
eyou
happy?"
Kwenahasal
way
sbeenast
rai
ghtt
alker
 
Me:"I.
..
I'
m notsureKwena. .
thethingIhave
neverbeeninsuchthings..
Idon'tknowhowi t
feel
stobel ov
edorev enlove.Ij
ustdon'twanna
complicatemylif
e,Ishouldstar
tacceptingmy
l
ifeasitiswhichisbeingaprosti
tute"
Sheshookherhead 
Her:
"Iwon'
tletyousaythat
...
You'
renota
pr
ostit
utebutyourmotheri
sjustsel
l
ingyout
o
menforherownreasons.Youhav
etoli
vey
our
l
if
eandI'
llbeher
eforyouallt
heway"
 
Ismi
l
ed
Me:
"Youcanbemat
uredatt
imes"
Shel
aughed 
"
Voet
sek"
Me:
"Sowhoar
eyoumeet
ing?"
Her:
"Nonofyourbusi
ness..
justgetyourass
outofhere,
myassociatewillbeher
eany t
ime
soon.."
Ilaughedwhi
l
est
andi
ngmyassupandl
eav
ing
theplace.
.
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina
Ihi
tthet
abl
ever
yhar
dst
art
li
nghi
m 
Me:
"Nar
utohav
eyouf
orgotwhoam I?
"
Hekeptqui
etandcont
inuesmoki
nghi
sci
gar.
.
Itookmygunfrom mywaistandshothi
shand
thathel
dhi
cigar.
Hegroanedinpain 
Me:"Thatplacei
smi neandy
oucannottel
lme
yousoldit,thi
sshouldbearemi
ndert
hatI'
m
sti
l
lcomi ngforit"
Hehel
dhi
shandwi
tht
heot
her.
.
Hi
m:"
Uhhh!
"
Hescr
eamedi
nagony
 
Il
ookedathi
sguar
ds 
"NowIneedtoli
veamessagef ory
ou..
Tel
lhi
s
busi
nesspar
tnerIwi
llbesucki
nghisbl
ooddr
y
bytheendoftoday!
!"
Theykeptqui
etl
ooki
ngdown.
il
ovedmyf
ocus
backtoNarut
o 
"
Signt
hedeal
ershi
pbackt
omeorIsweari
fyou
don'
tI'
l
llety
ourchi
l
drensignitf
oryouwhi
le
you'
rei
namor guefr
idgewait
ingtobebur
ied.
..
Iwal
kedout.
..

.
.
Iwassoser i
ousaboutget t
ingbackt omy
businesses.Igotar r
est
edwhi l
eIownedal otof
businessandIwor kedver
yhar dtomaket hem
sosuccessf ulandnoonewi l
ltakethem away
from me. Speakingofthat.
.Luthandocane
rushingtomymi nd 
It
ookmyphoneoutandt
ypedamessagef
or
Shi
rl
ey
"Inol ongerhaveLuu'
stens.
.I'
m sur
eyoutol
d
hi
mI '
m outsoandsooncomi ngbacktoSout
h
Afr
ica. Nowtell
himI'l
lbecomingbackfor
business!".
.

TOBECONTI
NUED
Mot
her
'shat
red 
 
[
04/
28,
17:
49]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t15

'
Achil
d'sli
feisnevercompl
etewi
thnol
ove
f
rom herparent
s. 
Par
ent
sshoul
dforev
erbetheretoprov
ideli
ght
wer
ether
eisdar
knessi
ntheirchi
ldr
en'
sliv
es..
..
I
'minthedarkandther
e'snohert
opr
ovi
del
i
ght
becauseofherhat
redt
owardsme'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

"
Sowhenwer
eyoupl
anni
ngont
ell
i
ngmet
hat
she'
sout?
"
IaskedShi
rl
ey 
Her
:"
NtwanaIj
ustt
oldy
ounj
e!'
'
Me:"Teshy
oujustt
oldmewhatheh?Youj
ust
tol
dmebecauseshewantst
ogetbacktot
he
gamebecauseofherbul
l
shi
tandsel
fi
sh
reasonsman!"
Shebr
ushedherheadi
nfr
ust
rat
ion 
Her:"
Lut
handoIdon'tunderst
andy ouhavetobe
soangry.Shewantstostandbackonherf eet,
shewantstoearntherespectshehadback
thenandyouaretheonlypersonthatcoul
dhelp
her"
Me:
"Shebet
ray
edmemar
n!!
"Ishout
ed"
Shel
ookedatherwr
istwat
ch 
Me:
"TeshI'
l
lbetel
l
ingyouthi
snowandIhopei
t
i
sforthel
astt
ime,tel
lChr
ist
inaI
'
llki
l
lher!
"
Shekeptqui
et.
.Ist
oodup 
"Uy
atiyou'
resuchastupi
dlawyer.
..
Uyafananj
e
namawakho( You'
renodi
ffer
entf
rom y
our
mother)"
Her
:"
LuuIt
oldy
oushe'
swi
l
li
ngt
ogetbackt
o
t
hegamenow!"
Ihi
tthet
abl
e 
Me:"
DamnitmanTesh,Chri
sti
nadoesn'
tknow
whatshewant
s..Wecannotbetwobull
sinone
kr
aalman!"
Her
:"
Sowhatdoy
ousuggestIt
ell
her?
"
Me:"
Tel
lChrist
inanott
osendy
ou,
shemust
comestr
aighttome"
Isatbackdownonmychai
r 
"Anothert
hing,
tellhertogetbackfr
om
Nami bi
aorIwon'thesit
atekil
l
ingherthi
sti
me
around"
Ist
oodupagai
ntoexi
tther
oom butst
opped
hal
fway
 
Me:"
Tell
Chri
sti
naIknowhowtohandl
emyown
busi
nesssoangat
ophaphal
a(Sosheshoul
dn'
t
befor
ward)!
"
.
.
Iwal
kedout
 
.
.
Chri
sti
nareal
l
yknowshowtopissmeoff.
I
oncefear
edherbutt
hist
imeshegotal
lwr
ong.
.
Chri
sti
naisfearedbymany, shecanlit
eral
l
ycut
man'sd**
kwi thnohesitat
ion.
Shehasnoheart
andshegivesnof uckaboutanybodyel
se..
BothherandShirl
eykill
edherhusbandbutshe
tooktheguil
tbecauseshewant edt
oprotect
Shir
leysothat'
swhysheendedi npri
sonforso
manyy ear
sandbesi desthatmanypoli
ce
offi
cerswantedtoseeherbehindbars.
.
..
HerandIhadacardeal
ershi
pwhi
chweboth
owned50/50butwhenshegotar
rest
edshe
si
gnedhershar
etoher"
fri
end"Nar
uto.Buthe
madesureIendedupl
osi
ngmyshareinthe
deal
ershi
pal
so...
Thatdeal ershi
pwasmyl i
feandi twast heonly
thi
ngt hatmadememoneybecausenon
couldn'thir
emewi t
hacr i
mi nalrecordsolosing
thoseshar estookmebackt osquar eone, back
todependi ngonmyt winbrotherupunt i
lhe
helpedmeopenacl ubformysel fandam Inow
, r
ichandt hecl ubhelpedmef orgetaboutthe
dealershipsoChr isti
naisoutnowandwant s
met odobusi nesswi thher,Shemustbe
i
nsane! !.
..
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Ikeptonchecki
ngmyphone,
thef
unnypar
tof
i
twast hatIwashopingLuthandowoul
dcal
lto
checkonmeormay bedemandt oseemeli
ke
every
daybuthewasn' t.
..
.
.
Boi
neel
opushedmebr
ingi
ngmebackt
oreal
i
ty
..
Shequi
cklyremovedthepotf
rom t
hest
ove,
I
hadtot
all
yforgot
tenIwascooki
ng
"Youwi
llbur
nthehouseman!
Whatupwi
thy
ou
andphone?"
Ikeptqui
et 
Her
:"
Hai
ymanBoi
tumel
o!"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryBoi
neel
ookay?
"
Her:
"Howcanyoubebusyonyourphonewhi
l
e
you'
recooki
ng?Wher
eisyourmindat?"
Me:
"Boi
neel
oIsai
dI'
m sor
ry!
"
Iwal
kedt
othef
ri
dgeandt
ookbot
tl
edwat
er 
Her
:"
OkayI
'
m sor
ryf
orshout
ing.
What
'swr
ong
?
Igul
peddownt
hewat
er 
"
It
snot
hingBoi
neel
o"
Shewal
kedt
othehi
ghchai
r 
Her
:"Iser
iousl
ydontunder
standwhyy
ouar
e
f
ail
i
ngt ospeaktome"
Isi
ghed..
Ishouldtel
lheraboutLut
hando,
besi
desshehasbeeni nrel
ati
onshi
psand
knowshowt oexperi
encewithwhatI'
m goi
ng
thr
ough"
Me:
"Imetaguy"
Shesmi
l
ed 
"Heissuchperf
ectguy.
Hasgoodlooks,money
andeveryt
hing.
Thethi
ngishei
nti
midatesmea
l
ot"Iconti
nued
Her
:"
And?
"
Me:"
Idon'tknwwhatisitt
hatwear edoi
ng.I
sl
eptwit
hhi mthefi
rstdaywit
houteven
i
ntr
oducingoursel
vestoeachotherandIhad
sexwi
thhi
m againandagai
nbutIst
il
ldon'
t
knowwhat
'shappeni
ng."
Her:
"Hasheev
ert
oldy
ouhowhef
eel
sabout
you?"
Me:"
That'
dt het
hing,henev ert
oldmeanyt
hing
andIthi
nkIpushedhi m awaywhenItol
dhim
we'
rejustsexbuddiesnothi
ngmor e"
Shel
aughed 
Her:
"Your
eal
l
ypushedhi
m awaykannet
e.What
hi
snameagain?
"
Me:
"Lut
hando"
Shel
aughedagai
n 
Her
:"
Iguessal
lLut
hando'
shav
est
ori
es!
"
Me:
"Whatdoy
oumean?
"
Her
:"
RemembertheguyIoncet
oldy
ouabout
?Hi
snameisalsoLut
hando"
Ichuckl
ed 
Me:
"Hai
yIj
usthat
efeel
i
ngt
hisway"
Her:
"Iunderst
and.
.butj
ustgi
vei
tti
me,
may
be
he'
l
ltellyouwhent
imegoeson"
Me:
"Ihopeso"
..
.
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

IwasatBaf ana'
splacedr
inki
ngCognac
whiskey,i
twasal l
Ineededafterf
indi
ngout
Chri
stinai
soutofjail.
.
Igul
peddownt
hewhi
skey
Baf
ana:
"Easyman!
"
Ist
oodupandpacedal
lar
oundt
her
oom 
Me:
"IwantmyCardeal
ershi
pbackman!
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sur
eshe'
sfi
ght
ingt
ogeti
tback"
Il
ookedathi
m 
Me:
"Shebet
terbecausei
fnot,
I'
ll
kil
lher
"
Hechuckl
ed
Hi
m:"Ar
ey ousur
eyou'
ret
alki
ngabout
MaChri
sti
na?"
MyPIguywalkedinwhenIwasaboutto
answerhi
m, It
oldhimtoinv
esti
gat
eBoit
umel
o
andhecall
edtogiv
emet heinf
osoItol
dhimt
o
comeatBafana'
splace 
Hi
m:"
Gent
leman?
"
Us:
"Sur
e"
Hi
m:"Br
aluuIgotev
ery
thi
ngy
ouneededandi
ts
al
li
nhere"
Hehandedmet
heenv
elope
Me:
"Tel
lmewhaty
ougot"
Hesi
ghedsi
tt
ingdown 
Him:
"Boi
tumel
oMokoena. .
Shei s25year
sand
hasnochil
dexceptt
hatshelovesspendi
ng
muchofherti
mewi t
hhernieceandfri
end.She
i
swor
kingatCl
ubBal
i
to"
Baf
ana:
"Bal
i
to?
"
Hi
m:"
Yeah.
.She'
spr
obabl
yapr
oti
tut
ether
eand-
"
Ist
oppedhi
m wi
thmyhand 
"
WhoaaPr os-
Prost
iwhat?.
Idon'
tunder
stand.
Ar
ey ousureyouar
en'
tgiv
ingmef al
se
i
nfor
mation?"
Him:"YeahIam ,I'
m goodatmyj obandli
keI
saidalli
nfor
mat i
onincludi
ngCCTVfootage
diskofthehotelroom shealway
suseto
enter
tainhercl
ientsi
si nther
e"
Me:
"Youknowwhatgetout
"
Hest
oodup 
"
Bral
u-"
Me:
"Voet
sekman!Isai
dout"
Baf
ana:
"Hai
yLut
hando.
."
Ist
oodupandwal
kedout
.WhatadayIhad
t
oday.
.
Boit
umelowil
lknowtherealIbehi
ndt
hismask
orshebett
erhaveanexplanat
ionf
ori
tall
!!

TOBECONTI
NUED
[
04/
28,
17:
49]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t16

'
Thereisnot
hingpainful
likeenduri
ngal
lthe
pai
nfultr
eat
mentandwor dsfrom t
heworld
whi
leyourmot heri
swatchinganddoing
not
hingaboutit(Mother
'shatred)'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o 
Iwalkeddownstai
rstogetsomethingt
odrink
butwassurpri
sedtoseemymot hersi
tt
edwith
somegent l
emanont hehighchai
rs,mi
ndyouit
wasjustaft
ermidnight.
.Whendidshegetback
exactl
y??
Islowl
ytur
nedtowalkbacktothebedroom
ti
ptoei
ngbuti
twastoolatebecauseshehad
alr
eadyseenme 
Her
:"
Boi
tumel
o?"
*
*Achi
!!
**
It
urnedt
othem agai
nandwal
kedt
othef
ri
dge 
Her
:"
Whatdoy
ouwant?
"
Me:"
I'
mthi
rst
y,want
edt
ogetsomet
hingt
o
dr
ink"
Isai
dopeni
ngt
hef
ri
dgeandt
aki
ngoutbot
tl
ed
water"
Her
:"
Mmh.
..
Isee"
Igul
peddownt
hewat
er
Her:
"Isee.
.SoIwoul
dli
key
out
omeet
someone!"
Imov
edal
lmyf
ocust
oher
 
Her
:"
Thi
sisSf
iso"
Me:
"OkayI
'
m Boi
-"
Shegav
eanev
ill
ookst
oppi
ngmef
rom t
alki
ng
Her:
"Asyoucansee,
itsal
readylat
esoIdon'
t
mindyouguysusi
ngtheguestroom "
Me:
"I
'm notsur
eIf
oll
ow"
Her:
"Heneedsyourser
vicefortoni
ghtsoI
wouldli
keyoutooff
erhimt hebestser
viceev
er
becauseheisoneofmyt opcli
ents"
Me:
"Butma-
"
Her:
"Ret
habi
letoyou.
..
I'
m sur
eyou'
ref
ull
y
heal
edfrom t
herape"
Isul
ked 
Shest
oodup 
Her:
"Justbegl
adIGaveyouafewday
sof
f
becauseIdon'
tusual
l
ydothat!
"
Ikeptqui
et 
Her
:"
Andtel
lKwenaIwantheratwor
k
t
omorrow."
Shel
ookedatSf
iso 
"
Ihopeshe'
l
lent
ert
ainy
oubet
ter"
Sf
isobi
thi
sli
ps.
.
"
Ihopeso.
."
Hespankedmyass 
"
plusshei
sfr
eshmeat"
Mom smi
l
ed 
Her:
"Letmecalli
tanightthen"Sheki
ssedhi
s
cheekthencatwalkedupstai
rs..
Iser
iousl
ywasn'
ti
nthemoodf
ort
his.
.
Iwant
edtocr
y..
Iregr
ett
edcomingdownstai
rs,
I
shoul
dhavej
usti
gnoredmythi
rstsur
elyIwas
gonnadr
inkwat
eri
nthemor
ning,
nowl
ookat
thi
s..
Sf
isol
ookedatmeandof
fer
edmehi
shandbut
Ij
ustl
ookedati
t 
Hi
m:"Rel
ax,Iwon'
tdoany
thi
ngtoyou.
Ijust
wanty
outokeepmecompanyfort
heni
ght"
Il
ookedathi
m 
Hi
m:"
Let
'sgoup"
Isl
owl
ywal
kedupst
air
swi
thhi
mfol
l
owi
ngme.
.
Igotinthebedroom andIhadnoideawhatt o
do.Ialwaysstr
ipanddoot herdi
rt
ythingst
o
i
mpr essmyclientsbutnowIwasl ostanddi
d
notknowwhatt odo. .
Hesatont
hebedandr
emov
edhi
sshoes 
Hi
m:"
Come"
Isl
owl
ywal
kedt
othebed 
Hi
m:"
Rel
axwi
l
lyou?
"
Ikeptqui
et 
Hechuckl
ed 
"
Andi
fyouthi
nkIwil
lfuckyouri
ghtunderher
r
ooft
henyou'
resur
elystupi
dli
keher"
Ikeptqui
et 
Hi
m:"
Comeandsl
eep.
I'
l
lleav
eint
hemor
ning"
Ir
emov
edmygownandgoti
nthebedcov
ers.
.
Hehuggedmybodybr
ingi
ngmecl
oset
ohi
m..
Hi
m:"
Goodni
ght,
sleept
ightuy
ezwa?
"
Inodded.
.Whi
l
esecr
etl
ysi
ghi
ngouti
nrel
i
ef.
..
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina

"
Sowhatdi
dhesay
?"
IaskedShi
rl
ey,
wewer
eonSky
pe.
..
Her
:"
Hei
smadChr
issy.
.Hewant
syouher
e!"
Igul
peddownt
hewhi
skey
 
Me:"
Ihavenev
erl
i
vedinSouthAf
ricaandI
won'
tstar
tnowal
lBecauseofHi
m. Tel
lhi
m Isai
-
..
"
Her:"
Whooa..Holdi
tri
ghtt
here.
MaIwantto
getbacktoLondonIhaveworktodot
her
ebut
heream If
ighti
ngyourbat
tl
es.
"
Me:"WellIneveraskedyoutofi
ghtmybat t
les
..
Iam herefight
ingtogetwhatbel
ongstome
andI'
l
lcomet oSouthAfr
icawhenIwant.I
won'
tli
stentoapi eceofcockr
oachthatIcan
easi
l
ysquash! "
Shepunchedt
het
abl
e
Her:
"Chr
issyplease,
thi
swi l
lmakeLut
hando
endupincludi
ngmei nyourfi
ght
s"
Me: "Thensobeit.I
fhedoesntwanthis
dealershi
pbackthenI'
llf
ightonmyown. AndI
'
ll
personall
yvi
sitl
uthandowhent het
imeisri
ght
"
Icl
osedt
hel
apt
op.
Luthandoshoul
dunder
standI
'
m al
soataloss
here,andheshoul
dhelpmegetourdeal
ershi
p
back...
.
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

Ihadcall
edBoit
umel otocomet oapar t
ment
andspendthedaywi thme. Honest
lyspeaki
ngI
wasreall
ymadbutIf iguredshehadan
expl
anati
onbehindthepr ost
it
uti
onthing
becausenomaturedper soncouldeverdeci
de
tobeaprosti
tut
e...
.
Ihadj
ustsmokedweedandwasjustr
elaxi
ng
myheadonthecouchwhi
lemyfeetwereon
t
oponthecof
feet
abl
e,j
ustl
osti
ndeep
t
hought
s..
Someoneknockedont
hedoorandi
twas
obvi
ousi
tsher.
.
Ist
oodupandwalkedtoopent
hedoor
.She
wasst
andingt
her
ewi t
haboxofpi
zza,bot
tl
e
ofr
edwineandDVDsinhand..
.

"
Sawubona(
Hel
l
o)"shesmi
l
ed.
.
Honestl
yspeaki
ngshel
ookedsoi
nnocentf
or
pr
osti
tuti
on..
Iopenedspacef
orherandshewal
kedi
n 
Her
:"Igotusmov
ies"
Me:
"Mmh"
Her
:"
Acti
on,r
omant
iccomedyand-
"she
l
ookedup 
Her
:"
Youar
en'
tl
ist
eni
ng"
Me:
"Mmh?
"
Shesnappedherf
inger
sbr
ingi
ngmebackt
o
real
i
ty 
Me:
"Uhm sor
ry.
.Youwer
esay
ing?
"
Her
:"
Nevermind.
"Sheputt
het
hingsi
nherhand
ont
hetable 
Her
:"
Bye"
Shewasaboutt
owal
koutbutIhel
dher
 
Me:"
I'
m sor
ryokay?
..
Mymi
ndi
sjustoccupi
ed
nj
e"
Her
:"
Wannat
alkabouti
t?"
Itookt
heDVDsandopenedt
hefr
idget
aki
nga
tubofi
cecr
eam andt
wospoons.
.
Ir
eachedoutmyhandsf
orher
sandshehel
d
myhand..
Wewal kedt
otheloungeandsatont
hecouch
whi
leIopenedthewineandpouredi
nthe
gl
asses 
Me:
"Mybusi
nesspar
tnerwasi
njai
landi
snow
out"
Her
:"
Andy
oushoul
dbeexci
ted?"
Me:"
NoI '
m not,shetookmybusi nessandgav e
i
ttoherfri
ends,nowshei soutandexpectme
tohel
pherf i
ghttogetourbusi
nessbusi ness
back.ButIdon'
twant,Ijustwannakill
her"
sheswall
owedmakingmeregretmenti
oning
theki
l
li
ngpartbuti
cover
editwithaChuckle 
Me:
"I
'm ki
ddi
ng,
I'
mjustangr
yather.
..
"
Irushedhershoul
derwi
tht
hebackofmy
thumb 
Me:"Sohowaboutyoutellmemoreaboutyour
sel
f.Yourage,whatyoudoforl
i
ving,your
background,j
ustev
eryt
hing"
shekeptqui
etf
oral
i
ttl
ewhi
l
e
Her:
"Uhmm..I
'
m 25y ear
s, Ihaveonl
ymatr
icas
aquali
fi
cat
ionwhichisthereasonwhyI
'm
..
..
.u.
.I
'
m notworki
ng"
Ir
aisedmyey
ebr
ows
Me:"
Notworki
ng?
Whatdoy
ouspendy
ourday
s
doi
ngthen.
"
Her:
"Uh?Ihel
pasKwena'
suncl
e'
scl
ub..
.i
-I
washglassesther
e"
Me:
"I
sit?
"
shestuff
edtheicecream spooninhermouth
andgulpeddownt hewinesamet i
me.Shewas
makingmebelievetheprosti
tut
ebutwhy
coul
dn'tshej
usttell
mewi thoutevenaski
ngher
?
Shecoul
dn'
tev
enl
ookatmenorsayany
thi
ng
tome..

myphonebeepedsavi
ngherf
rom gett
ingt
he
hot
testsl
apf
ornottel
l
ingmethetrut
h

"
Missi
onaccompl
i
shed.Igott
hedocumentand
madehim si
gni
t.Iendedbypoi soni
nghi
sdri
nk
forcov
erupsosendy ourguystocometakehi
s
body!HOTELROOM 43. .
..
-Kwena"

Il
ookedather
 
"
I'
m meet
ingy
ourf
ri
endsol
et'
sbounce.
."
shest
oodupandwewalkedout,
Godknows
howIwil
ldeal
wit
hherwhenwegetback!
!

TOBECONTI
NUED
mot
her
'shat
red 
 
[
04/
28,
17:
50]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t17

'
Nomat terhowhardItrytohidet
hepaininsi
de
me, i
tgetshard.
.Al
lthatcaneasemypai nis
bei
nginherarmsandhert ell
i
ngmeshel oves
me..Noonecanfill
thev oi
dthatshe'
slef
tinmy
t
ornhear
texceptf
orher.
.
Herhat
redtowar
dsmei
ssl
owl
yki
l
li
ngmebut
shecannotseei
t'
-
Boi
tumel
o
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina 
Iwokeupwit
hmassiv
eheadache,
mustbet
he
whi
skeyIdr
ankl
astni
ght
..
.
Ical
ledt
heroom ser
viceforbr
eakfastthensat
onthecouchwithmylaptopanddrinki
ngwat er
..
Myphoner anganditwasNaruto 
"
Whatdoyouwant?
"IaskedassoonasIpl
ace
t
hephoneonmyear 
Hi
m:"
Jer
omewant
stomeetupwi
thy
ou"
whatIlov
eaboutNar
utoi
shei
sgoodi
n
Engl
ish 
Me:
"Hewant
smysi
gnat
ure?"
hekeptqui
et 
Me:
"Damni
tmanNar ut
o..
Don'tt
ell
mehewant
s
t
omeetme. Iwantmybusi
ness"
Hi
m:"
I'
mtr
yingChr
issyokay?
"
Me:
"Tr
yhar
der!
!"
Ihungup.
i
stoodup 
I
fJer
omeandNar utothi
nksI
'm Lut
handotolet
t
hem gothenthey
'vegoti
tal
lwrongbecause
I
'
m comingformybusiness.
.
Il
ookedf
ormygun 
I
'm goi
ngtoShootJerome'swif
edeadandI 'm
pret
tysur
ethatwi
llmakehim si
gnmybusi ness
backtomeandasf orNarutoI
'm gonnaki
l
l him
too.
..
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Ididn'
tdr
ivewit
hLuthandot
omeetKwena
yester
daybecauseIwasuncomf
ort
abl
e.
Hemadet hesi
tuat
ionsoawkwar
d,itreal
l
yfel
t
l
ikeheknewaboutmebeingaprost
it
utebut
wantedt
ohearitfr
om me..
.
"No!NoBoi
tumel
o, hedoesn'
tknowsokeep
cal
m! "Myi
nnerv
oicedebated..
.
..
Luthandogiv
esmef oreignfeeli
ngs.Ifeelso
muchsaf eandcomf or
tablearoundhim. Ireal
l
y
wishIcouldopenupt ohim butI'
m scaredand
feell
ikehe'
sastrangertoknowmyhi dden
scars..
Mom wal
kedi
nfr
om upst
air
sinPJs 
Her
:"
Iseey
ou'
rev
erymuchcomf
ort
abl
ehey?
"
Ikeptqui
et 
Her:"
Andwhyareyoust
il
lher
e?Don'
tyouhav
e
cl
ientst
oatt
endto?"
Me:"
Ido.
.I
'
m enter
tai
ningMrMshezi
fort
he
whol
edaytoday"
Her
:"
Justent
ert
ainmentday
?"
Me:"
No. .
heishostingasmal lbr
aaif
orhis
busi
nessassociat
essohet ooksev
engirls
fr
om therestoentertai
nhisassoci
atesforthe
whol
edayandt hati ncl
udeKwenaandI "
Shesmi
l
ed 
Her
:"
OhandI'
m expect
ingR42t
housandf
ort
he
whol
eofyour
ight?"
Inodded 
Her
:"
Good..Youcoul
dmakesuchagr
eat
manager"
Shet
ookabowl
andpour
edcer
eal
 
Her
:"
AndIhav
ebeenmeani
ngt
otal
ktoy
ou
aboutsomet
hing"
Il
if
tedmyheadtolookathersi
ncewel
lI
haven'
tbeenl
ooki
ngather..
Her:
"Si
ncewel lmostoft
heti
meIhavecl
ients
needi
ngserviceASAP, j
ustl
i
kesfi
sol
astnight
..
Ihavethoughtyoushouldmovei
n
permanentl
y"
Ikeptqui
et 
Her
:"
Iguessy
oust
il
lneedt
othi
nkabouti
t"
Inodded 
Her:
"Okay"shet
ookherbowelofcer
eal
and
at
temptedtowalkawaybutst
oppedand
l
ookedatme
Her:"
Takeitasanoppor
tunit
ytofi
nall
ybein
myhouse.Butify
ouranswerisyesthenI'
ll
needyoutostayi
nyourlane,ar
ewecl ear?"
Inodded 
Shewal
kedbackupst
air
sleav
ingmet
orel
ease
adeepsighwhi
chl
eftmeaskingmysi
ghwher
e
wasithi
ddenfr
om al
lal
ong.
.
Ireal
lydof
earmymot her..
Evenwhenshe
utter
sawordfr
om hermout h,thehai
ront
he
backofmyneckst
ands. .
.
..
Istoodupandt ookmybagthathadtheli
ngeri
e
I'
l
lbewear i
ngf ortodayandwal
kedout..Movi
ng
i
nwasn' tsuchabadi deabutj
ustent
ertai
ning
cl
ientswas. .
Lucki
lyt
hecabwasal
readyout
sidewai
ti
ngf
or
me. .
.
..
Thedr
ivet
oMshezi
bui
l
dingwasn'
tthatl
ong.
.
Kwenaandfi
vegi
rl
swer
eal
readywai
ti
ngf
or
meatthegat
e 
Kwena:
"You'
rel
ate!
"
Me:
"Sor
ry.
.HasMrMshezi
'
sassoci
atesar
ri
ved
y
et?
"
Her
:"
Onl
ytwo.
Gir
lsl
et'
sgoi
n"
Ihel
dherhandt
ost
opherf
rom l
eav
ingandshe
l
ookedatme 
Me:
"Mom want
smet
omov
einwi
tht
hem"
"
Uhh?
"
Me:
"Exact
lymyr
eact
ion"
Her
:"
Whywoul
dshewanty
out
omov
einwi
th
t
hem?"
Me:
"Longst
orybutI
'
llexpl
aini
ttol
ater"
Shenoddedwhi
l
ewewer
emaki
ngourwayi
n 
Me:
"Ar
ewehav
ingsex?
"
Her
:"
No, j
uststr
ippi
ngbuti
ftheywantsext
hen
Mshezi
willhav
et oi
ncr
easetheamount"
Ikeptqui
et.
.
Ij
ustwi
shwewoul
dn'
thav
esex.
..
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

Ilookedmysel fonthef ul
lbodylengthmirror
onemor eti
meadmi ringmyout f
it..
Eventhough
I'
m notinsuits,I
'm sureI'
l
lprobablyfi
tin.Ihat
e
suiteswithmyall.TheonlytimeIgett owear
them iswhenI '
m goingtoameet ing,probably
compul sory.
.
Iwalkedoutoft
hebedr
oom andBafanawas
si
tt
ingtheret
ypi
ngsomethi
ngonhisphone 
Me:
"Let
'
sbounce"
Hel
ookedatme 
Hi
m:"
Andt
hen?
"
Me:"
Myoutf
itai
n'
tfor
mal
..Bl
ahbl
ahbl
ah.Ai
n'
t
gatt
imef
orbull
shi
t"
Hi
m:"
We'
remeet
ingbusi
nessassoci
atest
her
e"
Me:"
Msheziwi
ll
hav
etounder
standandit
snot
l
ikewe'
regoi
ngonameeti
ng,i
t'
sjustabraai
man!"
Hi
m:"
Lut
handong-
"
Me:"Bafanast
andupandlet
'sgo!..St
op
annoyingmey ouai
ntmygir
lfr
iend!"

Hest
oodup 
Wewalkedoutt
omycar.
.Wedeci
dedt
ouse
mycaronl
y..
.
Wegoti
nandIdr
oveoutaf
terst
art
ingt
he
i
gni
ti
on 
.
.
Him:"Nextt
imeyoushoul
dhostsuchbusi
ness
gatheri
ngatLA!
quiz.
Mshezi
ismakingmoney
ngathi"
Il
aughed 
Me:
"Mshezi
lov
esat
tent
ionnj
e"
Hi
m:"
Hai
yvel
e.Sosot
ell
meHowar
eyou?"
It
urnedt
ohimthenfocusedbackont
her
oad
si
ncewell
Iwasdri
vi
ng 
Me:
"Whatdoy
oumean?
"
Him:"Si
nceyourPIt
oldaboutBoi
tumel
o,y
ou
neversaidany
thi
ngabouther"
Me:"
Ispoketoherandshenev
erment
ionedi
t..
I
j
usthopeiti
salll
i
es"
Him:"
YahIalsot
hinkso..
Shemightbeathi
eve
butasforpr
osti
tut
eHaiyIdon'
tbel
iev
ethat"
Ichuckl
ed 
Me:
"Shet
oldmewe'
renot
hingbutsexbuddi
es"
Hel
aughed 
Hi
m:"
Real
l
y?"
Me:
"Yeah"
Him:"Hai
yIshouldsaysheisatur
non,Buti
ts
okaybesidesyouhaveBoineel
oasyour
gi
rlf
ri
end"
Ikeptgui
etwhi
lebal
anci
ngmybackont hesi
t
andusingonehandt
ocontr
olt
hesteer
ing
wheel
Hi
m:"
Speaki
ngofBoi
neel
o,wher
eisshe?
"
Me:"
idon'
tknow,
itsbeenaf
ewday
snowsi
nce
Il
astsawher"
.
..
Ipar
kedout
sideMshezi
bui
l
ding.
.
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Kwenawasi nt hebedr
oom wi t
honeofthe
associat
es,2gi r
lsint
hejacuzzit
werki
ngfor
otherassoci
ates,ther
estsit
ti
ngonthe
associat
eslaps 
AndIwasont
hecof
feet
abl
est
ri
pingwhi
l
ethey
weresmokingci
gar
s,l
aughi
ng,t
appi
ngmyass
andthr
owingmoneyal
loverme..
Ihat
edi
tbutIhadt
odoi
t..
Softmusi
cwasplay
ingandIhadgul
peddown
afewshotsofv
odkatoshi
ftmefrom r
eal
i
ty.
.

Iconti
nuedgoingupanddownont hetabl
eand
ki
ndadoi ngthesexyassshaki nguntil
oneof
hisassociat
esgav eouthi shandandIheldit
andgotmedownf rom thetableandstoodright
behindmesoIcont inuedtwerkingupunti
lIhad
afamili
arlaughtercomi ngallt
hewayf rom t
he
door.Il
if
tedmyheadt olookatthedoorway
andIsawhi m. .
Lut
hando!
!!
Hewaswi t
hhisbrot
herandMshezi Shaki
ng
hands..
itwasclearhedidn'
tseemeSoIhadt o
usethatasanoppor t
unityt
oruntothekit
chen
anduset hedoortoexitsohewon'tseemeand
IdidbutwhowasIf ooli
ngbecauseI
accident
all
ybumpedt ooneofthegir
lshol
ding
atraywithglassesinanditf
ellbr
ingi
ngall
the
att
entiontous...
..
.

TOBECONTI
NUED 
Mot
her
'shat
red 
 

[
04/
28,
17:
51]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t18

'
I'
ml i
keani ce,sl
owlybutsur
eIam melt
ingof
f
..Herhatredtowar
dsmei ski
ll
ingmebutshei
s
toosuffocatedbyhat
etoseeherhatr
edis
kil
li
ngme"
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Lut
hado

Ourey
esmet.
Idon'tevenknowhowt
oputt
hisbutshewas
l
iter
allyshaki
ng.
I
twasmor
eli
keshedi
dn'
texpectt
oseeme
t
her
e
"Ei
sh,t
hisprost
it
utesarecl
umsy"Mshezi
spokewalki
ngtothem maki
ngmeboileven
worse.
.
Boi
tumel
o:"
I..
.I
'
m sor
ry.
.I.
."
Sher
anoutl
eav
ingt
hewhol
eroom i
nquest
ions
.
..
 
Sosheneededmet ofi
ndoutaboutthe
prost
it
uti
onthi
ngbyseeingheri
nst
eadofher
tel
li
ngmeaboutit.
.
Whoknows? ,maybeshe'sgotareasonbehind
t
heprosti
tut
ionthi
ngbutshecouldhav etol
d
meinst
eadofwai t
ingformet of
indoutthat
way
 
Baf
anal
ookedatme 
Me:
"I'
m goi
ngoutf
orasmoke"
Isai
dwal
ki
ngoutnotwai
ti
ngf
orhi
sanswer.
.
.
.
ThankGodIhadanal readyrol
l
edjointofweed
soIjustl
ititandpuf
fedwhil
eleani
ngagainst
mycar. .
.l
ostinworl
dofthoughts.
.
Ahandonmyshoul
derbr
oughtmebackt
o
r
eal
it
y..
I
twasBaf
ana
Hi
m;"
EishmanIdon'
tev
enknowwhatt
osay"
Me:
"Don'
tsayany
thi
ng"
Hekeptqui
et 
"
ISt
il
ldon'
tbel
i
evei
t,she'
stooj
andf
or
pr
ost
it
uti
on'
Ichuckl
edbi
tt
erl
y 
Me:"Ihat
etobel
i
eveIwasget
ti
ngat
tract
edt
o
her"
Hi
m:"
Iknow"
*
**Si
l
ence*
**
Me:
"Let
sjustbounce"
Isai
dthr
owi
ngt
hej
ointandst
eppi
ngoni
t 
Hi
m:"
Andt
hent
hebr
aai
?"
Me:
"I
'm nol
ongeri
nthemood"
Hesi
ghed 
Hi
m:"
Youcanbeabi
tchatt
imes"
Itur
nedtohi
m andpunchedhi
m acr
osst
he
face..
Idon'
tknowwhatf
orbutIj
ustneededt
odo
that.
.
Hepunchedmebackandj
ustst
art
edf
ight
ing
unti
lsomeonerant
ousandmov
edusaway
fr
om eachother
 
Kwena:
"Ar
eyoumad?
!!
"
Sheshout
ed.
.Ispatont
hef
loorbecauseIhad
bl
oodinmymout h 
Baf
ana:
"Idon'
thav
eti
mef
ort
his"
Hesnat
chedt
hecarkey
sinmyhandandgoti
n
t
hecaranddr
oveaway 
Kwena:
"Lut
hando 
arey
oumad?
"
Ij
ustwal
kedawayfr
om herl
eav
ingherwi
thher
mouthwi
deopened 
•
•
•
#Kwena 
Iwalkedbacki
ntheyard.
.Honest
lyspeaki
ngI
foundmyselff
eari
ngforBoi
tumel
o..
Shewasseatedbythepool
wit
hherhands
cover
ingherf
ace 
Me:
"Boi
tu?
"
Shel
i
ftedherheadandl
ookedatme.
.
Seei
ngherl
i
ket
hatbr
okeme.
..
Boit
umelodoesn'
tdeser
vet
his.
.Shei
stoo
fr
agil
etobebroken..
Shewassupposedexperi
encef
all
ingi
nlov
eand
thatwaswit
hLuthandobuti
tal
lhadtoend
befor
eitev
enstart
ed.
Isatr
ightbesi
desherwhi
l
edi
ppi
ngmyl
egsi
n
thepool
"
Didheknow?
"Iasked 
Sheshookherheadno.
. 
Ibi
tmyl
i
ps 
Me:
"Iunder
stand.
.."
Her
:"
Wher
eishe?
"
Me:"
Hejustwal
kedawayleavi
ngmestandi
ng
out
side.
.Hewasfight
ingwit
hhisbr
other"
Sheni
bbl
edherl
owerl
i
p 
Her
:"
Cany
ouseewhatmymot
herhasdone
now?"
Ikeptqui
et 
Her
:"
Ialr
eadyli
edtoLut handot
hatI
'
m not
wor
king,thi
sisallbecauseofmymother.
I
Hat
eher!!Ihateherwithmyall!
"
Shewasbr
eaki
ng.
..
Herv
oiceshowedhowt
rueshemeanti
t.
Isawitri
ghti
nhereyesthatshewasi
nlov
e
withLut
handoandcouldn'
tevenhi
dei
t 
Ibr
ushedherback
Me:
"AskiesNana.
.Givehi
m somet
het
heny
ou'
l
l
goandtalkt
ohim okay?"
Shenoddedwhilewipi
nghert
ear
swi
tht
he
backofherhand..
Mshezi
wal
kedt
ous 
"
Whatwasthatal
labout?"Heaskedwi
thso
muchaut
hori
tyi
nhisvoice 
Me:
"I
twasanacci
dentokay?
"
Hegavemeadeadst
arebef
orel
ooki
ngat
Boi
tumel
o 
Hi
m:"I
'
m deduct
ingf
ivet
housandf
rom al
lyour
money!"
Ist
oodupandappr
oachedhi
m 
Me:"Oretl
wael
amasepa..Weentert
ainedy
our
people.
Wegav eyout
hebestser
vice.Wedid
ever
ythi
ngyouwantedandnowyouwantt o
deductourmoney?"
Hi
m:"
Whatar
eyougonnado?
"
Me:"
Ibr
ushedhi
sbi
gugl
ybel
l
ywhi
l
ebi
ti
ngmy
l
ips 
Me:"
Well
I'
m notj
ustapeosti
tut
e,trywhatyou
wannadoandli
vetoseetheconsequences!
"
Itur
nedt
oBoi
tumel
oandof
fer
edmyhandt
o
her 
"
Let
'sgo"
Shest
oodupwi
tht
hebal
anceofmyhand.
.
Il
ookedatMshezi
 
"Youhavemyboss'
saccountnumberso
transf
ert
hewhol
eamountbecausey ouwi
l
l
hatetoseemynextvi
siti
fyoudon'
t"
Wewalkedawayaft
ersay
ingt
hat.I
fMshezi
t
hinkswe'
rehi
spuppet
sthenhegotital
lwr
ong
..
.
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

Anubberfet
chedf
rom t
heMshezi
bui
l
dingt
o
myapart
ment..
Iwasreal
l
yangryatBoit
umel obutI'
m gl
adI
wal
kedoutandtookmyf rust
rati
onsouton
Baf
anathanherbecauseifIdidIswearshe
woul
dbedeadmynow. .

Ihadcall
edBoi
neelotocomet omyplace.I
neededhert
obemyst ressrel
iev
erandthank
GodIfoundheral
readywait
ingformebythe
door..
Igr
eet
edherwhi
leunlocki
ngthedoorandIgo
i
nsi
dewhil
eshegotinalso,behi
ndme 
Her
:"
Whathappenedt
oyourf
ace?
"
Me;
"Baf
anahappened"
Her
:"
Baf
ana?
Yourbr
other?
"
Inodded 
her
:"
Whywoul
dh-
" 
Ihel
dherwai
standbr
oughthertomethen
smashedmyli
psonhersst
oppingherf
rom
say
ingmor
e..
.
Iexpect
edhertopulloutqui
cklybutshedi
dn'
t
i
nsteadshewasgivinginmakingmepi ckher
andwalktothecouch...
ourkisswasn'tt
hatinter
est
ingbutital
so
i
ndicatedhungerforeachother.
..
Myhandrant
ounzi
pherdr
esst
henf
oll
owedby
herbr
a.
Iwasn'ti
nt hemoodforf oreplay,
Ijustneeded
tobeinsideherandreleaset hest
ressby
poundingherveryhard...
ShestoppedmewhenIwasaboutt
oundr
ess
herpanti
es 
Her
:"
Whyar
eyousor
ough?
"
Igr
oanedal
i
ttl
e 
"
Ijustmi
ssbei
ngi
nsi
dey
ou"Il
i
ed 
shesmi
l
edsmashi
nggetl
i
psonmi
neagai
n..
.
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Igothomeandchangedt osimpledressbefore
catchi
ngacabtoLuthando'sapart
ment, I
neededtotal
ktohim.May beifIwouldexpl
ain
tohimthatit
snotal
linmywi l
l t
henhewoul d
underst
and.
Ihaveneverf
eltt
hiswayf
orsomeone.The
feel
ingwastoodeeptobeignor
ed.
.Ineededt
o
tel
lhim.
.
Thecabdr opedmebythemai
ngateandthe
securi
ti
esdidntgi
vemeanypr
obl
emswi t
h
goingin..
Thewalkt
ohi
sapart
mentwasntt
hatl
ong.
.j
ust
about3mi
nswal
k..
.
Hi
scarwaspar
kedt
her
eand.
.
Myheartstar
tedbeati
ngv eryf
astwhenI
knocked,i
twasreall
yleapingoutofmychest.
..

TOBECONTI
NUED 
Mot
her
'shat
red 
 
[
04/
28,
17:
51]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t19

'
Thef
akesmi
l
eonmyf
acehi
del
otsofpai
n 
I
thi
demi
ser
iesofherhat
redt
owar
dsme 
Ithi
det
hescarsthatnomot
herwoul
dwantt
o
seeonthei
rchi
ldr
en'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Lut
hando
Wewer
enowi
ntheshower
..
Wetfrom thecoldwat
erthatwehaveturnedon
tocoolourbodieswhi
leIcont
inuedpounding
herveryhard.
.
Everyt
imeIcl
osedmyey es,Boit
umelo'
sface
wouldfl
ashmakingmethrustinhar
derand
deepert
ofocusmoreOnBoi neel
o..
Iwasr
eal
lytr
yingt
oblockBoit
umel
oawayf
rom
mymindbuti
twasjustdi
ffi
cul
t

Ipi
ckedherupwhi lest
illi
nsideherand
bal
ancedheront heshowergl asswhil
emy
handswereblancingunderherbuttand
conti
nuedthr
usti
ngi nfaster..
Iopenedt heshowerglassdoorandwalkedt
o
thetoil
etsitwit
hherstil
li
nmyar msandput
hertherewhilekneel
ingandputherl
egsonmy
shoulderspumpingintohersohard.
..
Sheevenhadt
ear
sandhermour
nswer
eev
en
l
oud.
..
Ipi
ckedmypacewhenmybodyshook
uncontr
oll
abl
yandqui
cklypul
ledoutr
eleasi
ng
myliqui
donherabdominalar
ea..
Thenki
ssedheroncemorebefor
estandi
ngup
andgi
vi
ngawar mt owel
towipehersel
f 
Her
:"It
hinkt
her
ewasaknockont
hedoor
c"
Me:
"Ihear
dit
"
Shekeptquiet..
Iwalkedbacktotheshower
andjustgotinundercoldwaterwhi
lecl
osing
myey esshut..
Shegotinbehindmeand
wrappedherarmsar oundme 
"
Lut
handoy
oudon'
tl
ookokay
"shespoke 
It
urnedt
oherandsmi
l
edsl
i
ght
ly 
"
I'
m okay.
.Justst
ressedaboutwor
k"
Shekeptqui
et 
"
Hav
eyouev
erf
ell
inl
ove?
"
Idontknowwhyi
askedbuti
yjustsl
i
ppedmy
mouth..
Shekeptqui
etst
il
l 
"Noti
nloveasinli
kej ustinlove..
Imeant he
RomeoandJul i
etlov
e. .Thatlovethatyou
wouldki
ll
forthatperson. .
.Haveyou? "
Iasked 
Shesmi
l
edandsi
ghed 
Her
:"
Mybabydaddy.
..
YesIoncef
ell
inl
ove"
Me:
"Howwasi t,
howwast
heexper
ience.
How
wasever
ythi
ng?"
Her:
"I
twasav er
yper
fectexper
iencebutwhy
ar
ey ouaski
ng?"
Me:
"Not
hing.
"
Itur
nedandswitchedof
fthet
abandwal
ked
outleav
ingherbehi
nd..
.

Idon'
tknowhowt oexpl
aint
hisbutBoit
umel
o
gotmeallconf
used.Wheneverhernanesl
i
ps
mymind,
mystomachgrowlsandi
tusual
l
y
gi
vesmemixedemot
ions..
Theyact
ual
l
yrev
eal
edmeasaweakerguy.
.
..
Igoti
nt hebedr
oom andloti
onedthenchanged
tosi
mpl ecl
othsandwalkedout.Ineededto
apol
ogisetoBafanaforear
li
eron..
.
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Iknocked,
knockedandknockedt
il
lIgav
eup
andheadedbackhome...
Maybehedidn'
twanttotalkt
omebecause
sur
elyhewasaroundsincewell
thesecur
it
y
doorwassl
ight
lyopened..
If
oundmymot
herwi
thThat
oint
hel
ounge
Ma:
"You'
reback?
"
Inoddedwhi
l
eaboutt
opasst
hem 
Shel
ookedatme 
Her
:"
Youdon'
tseem okayWhat
'sup?
"
*
*Wowt
hatwast
hev
eryf
ir
stt
ime"
Isatont
hehi
ghchai
r
Me:
"Not
hing.
HasMshezi
transf
eredy
our
moneyy
et?"
Her:
"Yes,
heevenputext
raR2000Ishoul
dsay
I
'm qui
tei
mpr
essed"
Ikeptqui
et 
Me:
"Ineedt
oli
edownal
i
ttl
e"
Her:
"Ihav
eaclientf
ory
out oni
ghtsoI
'l
lgi
ve
youmycar dt
ogoshopf ornewli
nger
ie"
Ikeptqui
et 
That
o:"
Ial
sowantonekoko"
Ma:
"Voet
sek!
"
Ial
mostl
aughed.
.
Me:
"Any
waywher
eisBoi
neel
o?"
That
o:"
Idon'
tknow.
Shej
ustwentout"
Me:
"Hai
yshei
shar
dlyhome"
Ist
oodupandwal
kedt
omybedr
oom t
oli
e
down
.
..
May beIwasn'tmeanttobecl oset oamale
personifIshouldputi
tthatway .Iwasslowly
butsurelygett
ingcomfortabl
ear oundLuthando
butital
lhadt oendbeforeIcouldt r
yand
explor
ehowi tfeel
sgetti
ngat t
ractedto
someone. ..
.
..
Iwipedthesi desofmyface,i
tmightbet
he
tear
s..
.Imighthavebeenthi
nki
ngtoomuchnot
tofeelmyt earsescapi
ngmyeyes..
Myphonerang,Iqui
cklyt
ookitandj
ustsli
de
t
heanswerbutt
onwithoutevenl
ooki
ng,just
wi
thhopesitmi
ghtbeLuthando.
.
Butwasdi
sappoi
ntedwhen 
"
I'
m out
side"Kwenaspoke.
.
Ir
oll
edmyey
es 
Me:
"Comei
n"
Her
:"No,Idon'
twantt
oseeRet
habi
le(
My
mother)andbesi
desIhav
ecompany"
Ihungupandstoodfr
om thebedandwor
emy
shoesthenwal
kedout..
.

Shewaswit
hBaf ana.
Iwi
shIcoul
dhav
ebeen
Lut
handoi
nstead.
Theyl
eani
ngonBaf
ana'
sRol
l
sRoy
cewr
ait
h..
.
.
Igr
eet
ed 
Baf
ana:
"Howar
eyou?
"
Ishr
uggedmyshoul
der
s 
Hi
m:"Kwenat ol
dmeever
ythi
ng.
Youcoul
dhav
e
t
oldhim Boi
tumelo"
Isi
ghed 
Me:"Iwant
edt
otel
lhi
m Baf
anabutIwas
scar
ed"
Hesi
ghed 
Me:
"Whathappenedt
oyourf
ace?
"
Hi
m:"
Hehi
tme"
Mymout
hfor
medansmal
lo
"
Afl
ywil
lgetinthatmout
h"hespokehi
tt
ing
mymout
hlightl
y 
"I
'
m gladhehitmethanyoubecauset
rustmei
f
i
twasy ou,you'
dbehati
nghim bynow"he
cont
inubued 
Ikeptqui
et
.
.
"
Sowhatbr
ingsy
ouher
e?"
Him:"
You...
Isawi ti
nLuthando'sey
esthathe
hasfall
enforyouandIcanal soseeiti
nyour
eyesthaty
oulov ehi
mt oo..I
'
m heretogiv
eyou
ti
psonhowt ot al
ktohi
m"
Ikeptqui
et.
.
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Somet
hingaboutLut
handodidn'
tsi
twell
wit
h
me.Hepract
ical
l
yhadwildsexinst
eadof
maki
nglove 
l
i
keal
lnor
mal
coupl
esdo.
.
.
.
Iwasnowi
nhi
smi
niof
fi
cegoi
ngt
hroughhi
s
st
aff
..
.
Ineededt
ofi
ndouti
fhewascheat
ingonmeor
what..
Lordforgi
vemebuti fhei
scheat
ingthenhell
shallbr
eakloose.Il
oveLut
handoandI'm not
goingtosharehim wit
hawhore,
Ever!!

Ist
oppedgoi ngthroughhisfil
eswhenIcame
acrosshisphotoalbum .
.Isatdownthenwent
thr
oughhi spict
uresbuttherewasn'
tanyt
hing
i
nterest
ingaboutit..
Itookmyphoneanddial
l
edhismother
's
numbers.
Sheansweredalmosti
mmediatel
y 
"
Ma?
"
Her
:"
Hel
l
obaby,
howar
eyou?
"
Isi
ghed 
"
I'
m notokay"
Her
:"
What
'swr
ong?
"
Me:
"I
tsLut
hando.
.It
hinkhei
scheat
ingonme"
Her
:"
Whatmakesy
ousayt
hat?
"
Me:"
Icanseei
t..
Icanseehei
scheat
ing.He
ev
encannothideit"
Her
:"
Doy
ouwantmet
otal
ktohi
m?"
Me:
"yeah"
Her
:"
Okay,
I'
ll
comet
hatsi
det
omor
row.
"
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:
"Okayma.
Can'
twai
ttoseey
ouguy
s"
Shechuckl
ed 
Her
:"
Ihav
etogetbusy.
.Seey
out
omor
row"
Me:
"By
e"
Shehungup.
.
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Luthandoshoul
dbeattr
act
edt
oonl
ymenot
otherwhoresoutt
her
e!!

TOBECONTI
NUED 
[
04/
28,
17:
52]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t20

'
Itget
shardclosi
ngmyeyesshutknowi
ngthe
memor i
esofherhat
redt
owardsmewi l
lfor
ever
hauntmymind. .
Herhatr
edtowar
dsmehasmademet
hisbi
tt
er
bi
tchIam t
oday'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Ihadspenttheni
ghtaloneatLut
hando'
splace
..
Henev erbot
heredtocomebacklastni
ghthe
didn'
tev
encallnorsendamessage.
Itr
iedcall
i
nghisphonebuti
ttookmest
rai
ght
tovoicemail
..
.
Aknockont hedoordi st
urbedmyl cl
eani
ng
session.Iputthefeatherdustonthetabl
eand
openedt hedoor.Ismi l
edwhenIwas
welcomedbyLut hando'smother'
sbeauti
ful
smile 
Me:
"Haouma?
"
Shesmil
ed..It
ookthebabyfr
om herandher
l
uggagethenwalkedi
nsidewhil
eshefol
lowed
mein 
Her
:"
Howar
eyouont
hisbeaut
if
ulmor
ning?
"
Ismi
l
edf
aint
ly 
Me:
"Ishoul
dsayI
'
m goodandhowar
eyou?
"
Me:
"Iam tr
yingtobeokay.
Excusemef
oral
lthe
mess,Iwascleani
ng"
Her
:"
Iunder
stand"
Shel
ookedal
lar
ound 
Her
:"Wher
eisLut
hando?
"
Isi
ghed 
Me:
"Si
ncehel
efty
est
erday"
Herl
i
pst
wit
ched 
Her
:"
Didhecal
ltot
ell
youwher
ehei
s?"
Ishookmyheadno 
Sheputherhandbagont
het
abl
e 
"
Ididn'
trai
seLut
handot
obelikethi
s.Heshoul
d
t
reatyouli
kehi
swomen..Di
dy oucal
lBaf
ana?"
Me:
"Idon'
thav
ehi
snumber
s"
Shehel
dherwai
st 
"
Hebet
terhav
eagoodexpl
anat
ion!
!"She
r
oar
ed 
Ikeptqui
etwhi
l
esi
tt
ingont
hecouch.
..
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

Irol
l
edabl
untofweedonemor
eti
meand
puff
ed.
Mymindwasj
ustoccupi
ed,Ineededt
oget
hi
ghandmoveali
tt
lefr
om r
eali
ty..
Baf
anawal
kedi
n..
Heplacedhiscarkey
sont hecof
feetabl
e
bef
orethrowinghi
mselfonthecouch 
"
Skai
f(excusemyspel
l
ing)
?"
Hespoke 
Ihandedhi
mther
oll
 
Me:
Wher
ear
eyouf
rom ?
"
Him:"
Wentcl
ubbingl
astni
ghtt
henendedup
booki
ngahotel
room "
Me:
"Mmh.
..
Gotl
aid?
"
Hechuckl
ed 
Hi
m:"
Toomuchi
nfo.
.Buty
eah.Kwena"
Ichokedonmybr
eat
handcoughed 
Hel
aughed 
Hi
m:"
Not
hingser
ious.
.Ipai
dher"
Myf acebecamesourimmediatel
y.Justt
he
thoughtofBoit
umelogett
ingl
aidjustf
ormoney
didn'
tsitwel
lwithme.I
tmadememor eangry.
Whatisi
tthatsheneedsthatfi
ndi
nga
boy
fri
endtodoi tf
orherwon'tdo?
Hi
m:"
Uri
ght
?"
Me:
"Boi
tumel
oman.
.Ican'
tgetherof
fmymi
nd
"
Him:"
Whydon'tyougoseeherorevencal
lher.
I
swearshehasagoodexplanat
ionbehi
ndthe
prost
it
uti
onthi
ng"
Me:"
No..
Idon'
twannahearmor
eli
esf
rom her
any
more"
Hi
m:"
So?
"
Me:"I
'
ml etti
nggo,maybei
fItr
ytomoveallmy
at
tentionandfocusonBoi
neel
othenI
'
llget
overthefl
ingIhadwit
hBoit
umelo"
Hi
m:"
Lut
handopl
eas-
"
"
Baf
anano!
"Ii
nter
rupt
ed 
.
..
.
..
Idrovet
omyapar t
mentlateron,Ineededt
o
changethengocheckoutonLA!quiz..
MyphonerangwhenIhadj
ustpar
kedout
side
myapart
ment.I
twasThomas..
Ihadcall
edhim earl
i
erontogi
vemet hehotel
room numberwhereBoit
umelousual
lydoher
dir
tydeeds.
Idon'tknowwhyIdidbutIj
ustdid 
"
Tal
ktome"Ianswer
ed 
Hi
m:"
BraLuu.
.Igott
her
oom "
Me:
"And?
"
Hi
m:"
Sheusual
l
ywor
ksatDi
anat
ownhot
el,
its
r
oom 43"
Me:
"Suchcheapanddi
rt
yhot
el?
"
Hi
m:"
Yes,i
tispr
obabl
ywhereprost
it
utesand
dr
ugl
ordsr
unthei
rbusi
nesses"
Me:
"Thanksman.IknewIcoul
dal
way
scount
ony
ou"
Hi
m:"
Uh..
.anot
hert
hing"
Me:
"Yah?
Hi
m:"Shewi
llprobablybeworki
ngni ghtshi
ft
t
oday.Mysourcetoldmeshewi ll
bespendi ng
t
henightwi
thsomeni ggaf
rom Nigeri
a"
Me:
"Okay"
Ihungandwal
kedoutofmycar.
Maybepay
ingheravi
sitt
oni
ghtwi
l
lmakeher
st
opthi
sbull
shi
t..
.
Iwalkedi
nsi
deandwasamusedtofi
ndmy
motherandBoi
neel
o.Theywer
eint
hesi
tt
ing
room 
Me:
"Ma?
"
Shekeptqui
et,
rightt
henIknewshe'
smadat
me 
Iat
tempt
edt
otakemydaught
erf
rom her
 
Mom:
"She'
ssl
eepi
ng"
Me:"
Okay.Thenl
etmegoandtakeaquick
shower.
Ineedtodosomet
hingatLA!
quiz"
Sheey
edme 
Her
:"
Lut
handowher
edi
dyousl
eep?
"
Me:
"AtBaf
ana'
sapar
tment"
Her
:"
Andut
hini
ngoBoi
neel
o?
Lut
handoar
eyoucheat
ingonher?
"
**Okay.
.t
hatwasthemostdumbestquest
ionI
haveeverhear
dfr
om mymot her*
*
Ikeptqui
ett
oav
oidbackchat
ti
ngher
 
Boi
neel
o:"
Lut
handoy
ourmot
heri
stal
ki
ngt
o
you?"
Igav
eheradeadst
are 
"
Boi
neel
onotnow"
Her
:"
Ifnotnowt
henwhen?
"
Iattempt
edt
owalkawaybutshequi
ckl
y
blockedmyway.
*
*okayt
hatwast
oomuch*
*
Me:"
Boineel
ongi
dzi
niwebengi
nel
i
langal
eli
dze
(
I'
mt i
redIhadal
ongday)"
Iwasn'
tInt
hemoodt
oent
ert
ainher
 
Her
:"
Lut
handowhyar
eyoudoi
ngt
hist
ome?"
Ichuckl
edbi
tt
erl
y 
Me:"
Stopbeingabit
chandl
etmepassbecause
whatyou'
redoingi
ssuchat
urnof
f?"
Imadesuremysent
encewasquot
edby
i
nti
midat
ion 
ShemovedandIwalkedupst
air
sli
vi
ngherad
mymotherqui
et.
..
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

"
Kwenaman!
!!
"
Her
:"
Keng?Isai
dI'
m comi
ng"
Shespokemakingherwayinmywor ki
nghot
el
room .
Irushedt
oherandsnatchedt
obott
leof
Hennesseyandgul
peditdown 
Her
:"
Rel
axman!
"
Me:
"HowcanIr
elaxknowi
ngI
'
llbehav
inga
l
ongnight?
"
Shechuckl
ed 
Her:"
Hai
yletmegotomyhotelr
oom ,Your
cl
ientwi
ll
probabl
ygether
eany
timesoon"
Igul
pedt
heHennesseyagai
n 
Her
:"
Pleasegoeasyoni
t"
Me:"I
twil
ldi
str
actme.
Ijusthat
eNi
ger
ians
.Theyhavebi
gcocks"
Shel
aughedmaki
ngherwayout.
.
Iat
ehal l
sthenf
ixedt
hebedwhi
l
emaki
ngsur
e
mylingeri
eisal
soonpoi
nt.
.
Thedooropenedsl
ightl
yandhewal kedi
n,i
n
hi
sexpensi
vesuit
swi t
hgoldringsonhis
fi
nger
s.Myheartbeatincr
eased.
I
'
mfai
l
ingt
ogetusedt
oNi
ger
iand*
*ks.
.
Hemadehi
swayt
omeaf
tercl
osi
ngt
hedoor
 
Hespankedmyass 
"
Ret
habi
l
esur
elygav
emef
reshmeatt
oni
ght"
If
akedasmi
l
e 
Hetookofhi
ssuitt
opandsatont
hebed
l
ooseni
nghisti
e 
Igotont
hebedbehi
ndhim andst
art
ed
massagi
nghi
m.Whil
ekissi
nghisneck 
"WhatcanIdof
ory
out
oni
ght?
".Hel
etouthi
s
evi
ll
augh 
,
"Il
i
keyoualr
eady!
!.
.Iwanty
out
ori
deme.
Ride
meli
ket
here'
snotomorrow"
Iswal
l
owed.
.
It
ookof
fmygownseduct
ivel
y..
Thengotof
fthebedandhel
pedunbuckl
ehi
s
bel
t.
Hewashar
d,her
eal
l
ywasr
eadyf
orme.
.
"
Lockt
hedoor"
Igotupandwal
kedt
othedoormai
ntai
ningmy
sexywal
k..
Iwasaboutt
otur
nthekeyt
olockbutsomeone
pushedt
hedoorr
oughl
ymakingmetri
pandfal
l
onmyback

Myhear
tbeatincr
easedwhenLut
handoand
t
woguyswalkedin..
Theguyshadgunsi
nhandwhi
l
eLut
handohad
not
hing.
.
Myheartwasbeati
ngsobad, i
sweari twas
moreli
keitwoul
djustexpl
ode.Iwishedthe
ear
thcoul
djustopenupandswal l
owme. .
Theguysrushedt
omycli
entandst
arted
beat
inghi
m uncont
rol
l
abl
ywhil
eLuthando
cametome. .
Iwast
rembl
i
ngi
nfear.
.
Me:
"Lut
handoI.
..
"Ist
art
edcr
ying 
Hehel
dmywr
istandhel
pedmeup 
Me:
"Lut
handoI
'
m sor
ry"
Hesai
dnot
hingexceptf
ortight
eni
nghi
sgr
ipon
mywri
stmakingmecrylouder 
Me:
"Sor
ryLut
hando!
!"
Hi
m:"
Voet
sek"
Hedr
aggedmeoutbutIsatdown 
Kwenar
ushedt
ous,
shewasi
ngown 
"
Lut
hando!
!"
Luu:
"Voet
sekwenakwena!
"
Heconti
nueddr
aggi
ngmeoutwhi
l
eIcont
inued
sobbi
ng 
Kwena:
"Lut
hando 
l
etherwearsomet
hing"
Lut
handost
oppedandl
ookedatKwena 
"I
fyoudon'
tshuty
ourmouth,I
'l
lcl
oseitf
ory
ou
Kwena!
"Hespokepoint
ingaf
ingerather
 
Het
hencont
inueddr
aggi
ngeout
side
"You'
reusedtobeingseenbypeopl
enakedso
evennowt hey
'l
lseeyouagai
n"
All
eyeswer
eonus.
Nooneev
enbot
her
edt
o
hel
pme 
Heopenedt
hebacksi
tofhi
scarandt
hrewme
i
nassoonaswearri
vedt
ohiscar

"Lor
dhel
pmebecauseIneedy
ourpr
otect
ion
now"
Thatwasmysi
l
entpr
ayeradIcont
inued
sobbi
ng

TOBECONTI
NUED 
Mot
her
'shat
red 
 
[
04/
28,
18:
06]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t21
'
AllIeverwantedwastobe
uncondit
ional
l
y  
l
ovedbymyownmot
her.
.
Iwantedtosi
tandsharewi
thotherdaughter
s
howitfeel
sbei
nglovedbyyourmother..
But
her
eam Ihatedbymyownmot her
'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o 
Itistr
uethatdangercanteachyouprayer.The
truthi
sIdon'tknowhowt opraybutIfoundmy
selfpray
ingintongues.
..
Luthandowasdri
vi
ngli
keaminai
c,what
scaredmethemostwasthathewasn'
tdr
ivi
ng
tohisapar
tmentorev
enHome..
Hewasignori
ngmysobsandhadhishand
cont
rol
l
ingthest
eer
ingwheel
whil
ehebitehi
s
nai
lsontheot
herhand.
Youwoul
dseehewas
fur
ious.
..

HeparkedoutsideLA!qui
zaf
terafewmoments
andwalkedoutofthecarandopenedmydoor
..
Ikeptonsit
tinginthesameposi
tion.
.Hegav
e
meadeadstare 
"
Phuma(
Wal
kout)
!"Hi
svoi
cei
ndi
cat
edanger.
..
Isolwl
ywalkedoutandcl
osedthedoorand
abruptl
yhel
dmywr i
standledt
hewayt ooneof
therooms..
Myhear
twasbeat
ingsof
ast
..
Oneoft
hesecur
it
yguar
dwasst
andi
ngt
her
e 
"
EkseTee"
Secur
it
yguy:
"Br
aLuu"
Luthando:
"Ineedt
ouset
hisr
oom f
oraf
ew
hours"
Thesecur
it
yguyt
ookapai
rofkey
sandgav
e
l
uthandoone 
Luu:
"Makesur
enoonecomesthi
sside.
.Lock
thegat
eheadi
ngt
otheent
ranceoft
herooms
okay?"
Henodded.
Iswal
l
owedhar
d..
Lut
handowasr
eal
l
yonaboutki
l
li
ngme 
Hel
ookedatmeagai
n 
"
Her
e'st
hekey,
I'
m comi
ng"
Il
ookedatit.
Icoul
dn'
ttake.Her
atherbeatme
i
nfrontoft
hesecuri
tyguythani
ntheroom
al
one..
Hechuckl
edt
henkeptast
rai
ghtf
aceagai
n
"
Boit
umelo?"Hi
sv oi
cealonescar
edme. .
Itook
t
hekeyandslowlywalkedawaybecauseI
want
edtoeavesdroppi
ngonwhathewasabout
t
otel
lthesecur
it
yguy
Hi
m:"
Gotot
herecepti
onandt
ellMar
iat
he
r
oomsar
en'
tav
ailabl
efort
oni
ght"
Secur
it
y:"
Okayboss"
Itr
iedt
ounlockt
hedoorbutIwasv
erymuch
shaki
ngtoevenhol
dthekey..
Het
ooki
tandunl
ocked.
.
Wemadeourwayinthehelockedthedoor
behi
ndhi
m andputt
hekeysinhispocket
s..
"
Timef
orchi
tchat"hespoket
urni
ngt
ome
Iswal
l
owedhar
d..
Irai
sedhi
sey
ebr
ow
"
Boi
tumel
owhenwer ey
ougoi
ngt
otel
lme
y
ou'
reaprost
it
ute?
"
HeaskedIkeptqui
et.
.
HemadehiswaytomeandIsteppedback
war
dtil
lwhi
leheal
socont
inuedwalki
ng
t
owardsmebutthewal
lbl
ockedme
Hel
aughed 
Hi
m'"Boi
tumel
oareyougoi
ngt
otal
kory
ou
wantmet omakeyou?"
Ineededt
oactst
rong.
.Ineededt
opul
lmy
courageandstandonmyown, nott
oshowany
fearbecausecl
earl
yifIdi
d,hewoul
dhave
dancedonmyhead 
Me:
"Idon'
tanswert
oyou"
Imumbl
ed
Hi
m:"
Whatwast
hat?
"
Isi
ghedoutl
oud
"
Idon'
tanswert
oyou"t
hist
imeIsai
ditout
l
oud
Hechuckl
ed.
.Hi
schuckl
ewasn'
tthatofa
f
ri
endl
yone
Hi
m:"
Isi
t?"
Iswal
l
owedwhi
l
enoddi
ng.
..
Hegavemehi
sint
imi
dat
ingl
ookt
henst
epped
back
Hi
m:"Okay.
.youdontanswert
ome.
.AndIwon'
t
makeyouranswertome.."
Het
urnedt
othedoorandunl
ockedi
t..
but
l
ookedatmeonemor
eti
me
"I
'
llsendthesecutytobri
ngyouthi
ngsyou'
l
l
needbecauseitlooksl
ikeI'
l
lbekeepi
ngyou
herelongert
han.Youthink"
Wi
tht
hatbei
ngsai
dhewal
kedout.
.
Isatdownwhi
l
elet
ti
ngasobout.
Godwhydoy oubr
ingpeopl
eli
kemymot
her
andLut
handoinmylif
e??
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina

Narutoandhi
sfri
endsignedbackmy
dealer
shi
ptome..TheydidbecauseIhadt
o
i
ncludefami
lyi
nital
l..
.
All
wasgoi
ngver
ywellsoIwasj
ustst
il
lar
ound
tomakewor
ker
sther
egetusedt
omeast hei
r
bossagai
nthent
ravel
backtoSout
hAf
ri
cat
o
al
sogetbackwhat'
smine.
.
"
Cheer
supt
oli
fe"
Ismi
l
edal
lal
one.
.
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Ikeptont urni
ngandtossi
ngwithhopet
hatI
mi ghtfi
ndLuthandori
ghtbehi
ndmewi t
hhis
armsal lwrappedar
oundmebut
disappoint
mentwouldjustfl
ashwhenIfi
ndmy
selfaloneinbed.
Imusthav
efel
lasl
eepar
ound4:
30.
.
Iwokeuptocheckthet
imeonmyphoneandi
t
wasjustaf
ter9am .
.
Ist
oodandmadet
hebedt
henwal
kedt
othe
bathr
oom t
obrushedmyt eet
handwashhf
ace
thenwal
kedtotheki
tchen..
Luthando'
smotherwassit
tedonthehi
gh
chair
sfeedi
ngbabyThasha(Luu'
sbaby)
.
Shewasal
ldr
essedup 
"
Mor
ning"Igr
eet
edassoonasIwal
kedi
n..
Shetur
nedandgav
emeherhear
twar
ming
smil
e.
Her
:"
Mol
o.Howdi
dyousl
eep?"
Isi
ghedwhi
l
eleani
ngont
het
abl
e 
Me:
"Henev
ercamebackev
enl
astni
ght"
Shesi
ghed 
Her:
"Thi
sisnothowIrai
sedhi
m .Ishoul
dcal
l
Baf
anahehadt otel
lmewhat'
sgoingonwit
h
hi
stwin"
Ikeptqui
et 
Her:
"I
'l
ltal
ktoLut
hando.Subanewor
ri
e
nt
ombi e(Don'
tworr
yokay)?"
Inodded 
Her
:"Howaboutwegot oy ourhouse.Youwi
l
l
i
ntr
oducemet oyourparents"
Ismi
l
ed
Me:
"Iwoul
dli
ket
hat"
Her
:"
Goandpreparey
oursel
fandI
'
llcont
inue
f
eedi
ngNathasha"
Iwal
kedbackupst
air
swi
thasmi
l
eonmyf
ace.
*I
ntr
oduct
ionbet
weent
wofami
l
ies.
..
I'
l
lst
art
pr
epari
ngformyweddi
ng.
..
*
•
•
•
#Kwena

"
Didyouseet hem ?
"Ret
habi
l
e(Boi
tumel
o'
s
mother)asked 
Me:"
Iseriouslydon'
tknowwhot
heywer
e,t
hey
hadBalaclava'
son"Ilied 
Shest
oodandwal
kedal
lar
oundt
her
oom 
Her:
"Whothef
uckwoul
dwantt
otakemy
pr
osti
tut
es?"
Ikeptqui
et 
Her
:"
Ihav
etof
indt
hosemot
her
fucker
sthat
t
ookher"
Ikeptqui
etst
il
l
Herphonerangsav
ingmef
rom herand
quest
ions.
.
I
'mjustnotgoodatl
yi
ngbutIhadt
opr
otect
Boi
tumelo..
Shel
ookedati
t 
"
Ihav
etot
aket
his,
gobackt
owor
k"
Inodded 
"
Heybabe"sheanswer
edwal
ki
ng.
.
"
Lor
dpl
easepr
otectBoi
tumel
oforme"
..
.

TOBECONTI
NUED 
[
04/
28,
18:
06]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t22

'
Ahomewil
lnev
erbeahomewi
thnol
ovef
rom
apar
ent
s..
Wi
thnosuppor
tfr
om t
hepar
ent
s 
Andl
ast
lywi
thnobl
essi
ngsf
rom t
hepar
ent
s..
Herhat
redt
owar
dsmewi
l
lfor
everbr
eakdown
myhome'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o
Mom wasr eal
lyexci
tedwit
hmeet i
ng
Lut
hando'smom ...
Ialsof
eltsospeci
alf
or
makingherproud...
Honestlyspeaki
ng, afterIhadmysecondbaby
mymot herwasverymuchdi sappoint
edthatI
hadanot herchi
l
dwhi lenotmar ried..
Ial
sowas
disappoint
edinmysel fbutlifeisful
lof
surpri
sesandwi l
lforeverhumbl eyou..
Her
eam I,
int
roduci
ngmymot
heri
nlawt
omy
mother
 
.
Suchagr
eatt
hingr
ight?
Iknow 
.
.
Ir
insedtheglassesandwalkedbacktothe
l
oungewi t
habot tl
eofwineandthreegl
asses
i
nat rayandneatlyputt
hem onthetabl
e 
Thami
(Lut
hando'
smom )
:I'
mtel
l
ingy
ou!
"
Theycont
inuedl
aughi
ng 
Mom:
"Wel
lyoudi
dn'
tknow"
Theyl
aughedev
enmor
e..
Ipour
edt
hewi
nei
n
gl
asses
Me:
"Iwonderwhatisi
tthaty
ou'
ret
alki
ngabout
t
hatmakesyoulaughthi
smuch"
Mom:"
Thamiwasti
l
li
ngmeabouthowshe
act
edrudet
owar
dsyouwhenshefi
rstsawy
ou
"
Il
aughed 
Me:
"Oh?
"
Thami
:"
Idi
dn'
tknowy
ou'
resuchawonder
ful
humanbei
ng"
Ihandedt
hem t
hewi
negl
asses 
Mom:
"Ial
readywi
shIcoul
dmeetLut
hando"
Thami:"
Surel
yyouwil
lmeethi
m soon,
hei
s
yoursoninlawaft
eral
l"
Mom l
ookedatme 
"
I'
m pr
oudofy
oumybaby
"
Ismi
l
ed 
Thami:
"Yeahbutwewill
beproudoft
hem v
ery
soonbecausethey
'l
lbeget
ti
ngmarri
ed"
Mom smi
l
ed 
Thami :
"Soyouwer
ejt
ell
i
ngmeabouty
our
otherdaught
er"
Il
ookedatmom ,iwasreal
l
ysur
pri
sedthatmy
mom spokeaboutBoi
tumel
oaft
eral
lthehat
e
shehasforher
..
Mom: "
Ther
eisnothi
nginterest
ingabouther
exceptt
hatshe'
sthetheblacksheepofthe
famil
y"
Thami:"
Hai
ythi
schi
l
drenwant
stoki
l
lusatan
ear
lyage"
Mom:"Haiyyenasheist
hewor
st.
Sher
eal
l
y
want
st okil
lmeforreal
.."
Iwasreal
l
yqui
et,Icoul
dn'tbel
i
evemom was
tal
ki
ngsobadaboutherdaughter
 
"Somet
imesIev
enregr
etgi
vi
ngbir
tht
oher. I
fI
hadachoi
ce,Iwoul
dhavel
ongkil
l
edher.She
suchacur
seinmyhome."mom cont
inued
Thami
:
"That
'sdeep"
Mom:"Thany oucant hi
nk..
I'
mjustproudof
Boi
neelonje.Boit
umel ohasnothi
ngtoev en
poi
ntthatit
shers..Sheisaprosti
tut
e
..
Continueslay
ingkidsli
keshe'
saChi cken."
Ichokedonmybr
eat
handcoughed 
Thami:
"Hai
ywethu!Youshoul
dtakehert
o
chur
ch,It
hinki
tsademon"
Mom:
"Yout
hinkIhav
etr
ied?
"
Thami
:
"Youshoul
ddosomet
hingt
hen"
"Ineedtousethetoi
let"Ispokest
andingup
andquickl
ywalkingout..Boi
tumelodoesn'
t
haveachildandIhavet wosomom wassur ely
taki
ngmybadandpai nti
ngitatBoit
umelo..
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Lut
hando'sbodyguar
dmadehiswayin.
.He
hadaplasti
candwimpydodgybag.
.
Ihadbeenseat
edonthebedwit
hmyar
ms
wrappedar
oundmylegsal
lal
ong 
"
Ihopey
ou'
rehungr
y"
Ikeptqui
etandcont
inuedt
orocki
ngmysel
f
backandfourt
h
Hi
m:"
Igoty
ouf
oodandt
oil
etr
ies"
 
Ikeptquietsti
llheputt
hepl
ast
icont
he
cupboardt hencameandgavemethedodgy
bagbutIj ustl
ookedatit
 
Him:"
You'
llhav
etoeatbecausei
fyoudon'
t
bosswil
lgetmadatme"
Heopenedt
hebagandgav
emet
het
akeaway
 
Isl
owl
ytooki
tMyst
omachwasr
eal
l
ygr
owl
i
ng
i
nhunger
 
"
Iam notapr
ost
it
utebecauseIwantt
o.."I
whi
spered
Hel
ookedatme 
Hi
m:"
Excuseme?
"
Me:"
Mymot heri
sthereasonbehi
ndi
t"Iwas
br
eakingandcoul
dnthideit
 
Him:
"Isthatt
her
easonwhyLut
handohaskept
youhere?"
Inodded
Hi
m:"
Take"
Itookitandputitonmyl ap..
Ilookedi
tthe
food.Iwasreal
lyhungryandwant edtoeatbut
thesmellwasn'
tr eal
l
ypleasant
Hi
m:"
Arey
ouokay?
"
Il
ookedatt
hef
oodt
heney
edhi
m..
It
ri
edt
obl
ockwhat
evert
hatwasappr
oachi
ng
myt
hroatbuti
twasn'
tpossi
ble.
.

Iqui
ckl
ystoodupbuti
twastool
atebecauseI
hadalr
eadythr
ewuponthebed 
Hi
m:"
Fli
p!!
"
Hequickl
yst
oodupt
ounlockthedoorsoI
coul
drunthr
owupout
sideandIdid.
..
Hest
oodbehi
ndme 
H:
"Youokay?
"
Ishookmyheadno 
Icont
inuedt
hrowi
ngup 
Hi
m:"
Shoul
dIgety
ouany
thi
ng?"
Hewaspani
cki
ng 
Me:
"Wat
er"
Her
ani
nsi
de 
Andcamebackwi
thaglassofwat
er.
.It
ooki
t
andr
insedmymout
hthengaveitt
ohi
m 
Me:
"Ineedcol
dwat
er"
Hi
m:"There'
snocoldwat
erbutIcoul
dgeti
tfor
f
oryoujustaround"
Me:
"Pl
ease"
Hetookthegl
assandwal
kedawayl
eav
ingme
out
side.
..
ihadt otaket hatasanadv antagesoIwaited
forhimt i
llIcouldn'tseehim anymoreandr an
i
nsideandwor ethewhi t
egownwhowhi chI
didn'
tknowi tbelongedtothenranusinga
diff
erentdirecti
on. .
.
•
•
•
#Kwena

"
Thomasy
ouhav
etof
indoutmar
n!!
"Ishout
ed 
Hesatdownandgul
peddownhi
swhi
skey
Hi
m:"
Sur
elyLut
handoi
skeepi
nghersaf
e"
Me:
"Whati
fhei
snot?"
Iknel
tdownbef
orehi
m 
Me:"Thomaspl
ease..
Boitumel
oist
heonl
y
si
sterIhav
e,Icannotloseher
"
Hi
m:"
Okayst
andupt
henI
'
llt
ell
youwher
eshe
i
s"
Ist
oodup 
Hi
m:"Lut
handohaskeptheratLA!
qui
z"
Me:
"LA!
qui
z??
"
Him:
"Yeah.
.Butpl
easedon'tgot
her
e.Knowi
ng
howLuthandois,hemightgoal
lnut
sonme 
f
ort
ell
i
ngy
ou"
Me:"
Trustme,
IknowLut
handobutwhati
fhe
hur
tsher?"
Hi
m:"Luthandol
ovesy
oursi
stersoIdoubthe'
l
l
doanythi
ng"
Isi
ghed 
"
Thanky
ouThomas"
Hi
m:"
Any
thi
ngf
ormyl
ady"
Hesmil
ed..
.It
ookmybadonthet
abl
eAnd
ki
ssedhi
scheekbef
orewal
ki
ngout.
.
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina

Iwasi ntheoff
iceatt
heLeader shipwhen
someonecl ear
edthei
rthroat..
Ili
ftedmyhead
toseewhoi twasandi smiledwheni was
welcomedbyShi rl
eyl
eaningont hedoorfr
ame..
Iquickl
ystoodupandr antohert ohugher 
Shel
aughed
Her
:"
Chr
issywai
t..
Ican'
tbr
eat
h"
Il
aughedwhi
l
elet
ti
nggo 
Me:
"Whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
mey
ou'
recomi
ng?"
Her
:"
Andr
uint
hesur
pri
se?Idoubt"
Iwal
kedt
othecouch
Me:
"It
houghty
ou'
l
lbei
nLondonf
ory
ourcase"
Sheal
sosatdown
Her:
"IsentPi
l
layt
oatt
enditonmybehal
f
..
Chrissyweneedtot
alk"
Me:
"Soundsser
ious"
Her:
"Chri
ssynowthatthi
ngsaresl
owl
ygett
ing
i
ntoplace.It
hinkweshouldgobackt
oSouth
Afr
ica"
Me:"
Buti
thasn'
tbeenamont
hsi
nceIcame
her
emos"
Her:
"Iknow,butyou'l
lalsohav
etogetback
yourpowerthatside.
.Youhavetogoandfi
x
t
hingswithLuthando"
Il
eanedbackcomf
ort
abl
y 
Me:
"Shi
rl
ey,
Lut
handoi
sst
il
langr
yatme"
Me:"
Butyouhaveyourdeal
ershi
pback.
Youcan
al
sosignbackhi
ssharetohim 
Isi
ghed 
Her
:"Mom pl
ease.
."
Me:"Letmegetev
ery
thi
ngbacki
nplaceforat
l
eastamonthortwothenI
'
llgobacktoSouth
Afr
ica"
Her:
"Thenwe'
l
lal
sof
ocusonwhat
'
smi
ssi
ng
r
ight?"
Inoddedshesmi
l
edwhi
l
ecomi
ngcl
oserf
ora
hug..
.
MaybeIhadt
ogobackt
oSout
hAf
ri
caf
oral
l
t
hatbel
ongst
ome...
.
.
[
04/
28,
18:
07]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t23
'
Ihavebeenseatedinthedark..
It
sraini
ng,it
's
coldandI'
m shiv
eri
ng..Al
lIneedisforhert
obe
myshieldandshelt
erinthi
scoldbutsheistoo
bl
indedbyhatredtofeelt
hecoldI'
mi n'
-
Boi
tumel
o
•
•
•
#Kwena

Myphoner
angi
nsi
demycl
utchbag.
..
Iwasinanuberfrom Thomas'
sapart
mentt
o
mythehotelbecauseIhadacl
ientt
oatt
endto
i
nlessthananhour...
Itooki
ttookmyphoneoutanditwasKhwez
i
(SomegirlIwor
kwi
th)cal
l
ing 
"
Khwezi
?"Ianswer
ed 
"
Kwena.
..
."
I
twasn'
tKhwezi
butwasBoi
tumel
o'
str
embl
i
ng
v
oice.
.
Me:
"Boi
tumel
o?Wher
ear
eyou?
Arey
ouokay?
Her
:"
KwenaI
...
I'
m scar
ed"
Herv
oicewasabitweak..
Iti
ndi
cat
edt
hatshe
wasorhadbeencry
ing..
Shewaseven
br
eat
hingfast
 
Me:
"Gi
vet
hephonet
oKhwezi
"
.
..
"
Hel
l
o?Khwezi
?"
Her
:"
Kwena?
"
Me:
"Wher
ear
eyou?
"
Her:
"We'r
eatmywor kinghot
el.
.Boi
tumeloi
sn'
t
okayatallKwena.
.Shehadbeenvomiti
ng
ever
ythi
ngsheeatsinceshegother
e"
Ihel
dmyf
orehead 
Me:
"I
'm comi
ng.
.Keephert
her
e"
Her
:"
Pleasemakei
tqui
ck"
Ihungupandl
ookedatt
hedr
ive
"
Dri
verpl
easedri
veasf
astasy
oucan,
I'
m
l
osi
ngmysi st
er"
Henodded 
"
God,
whathasLut
handodonet
oBoi
tumel
o?"
..
.
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

Bafanawalkedi
nmybedroom whi
l
eIwas
changi
ngtosimpleout
fi
tbef
oredr
ivi
ngt
o
LA!qui
z..
Hi
m:"Wher
eisy
ourmot
herKant
i?"
Me:
"Ial
sowannaknow.
..
ButIt
hinkshe'
sout
wi
thBoi
neel
o"
Hewhi
stl
ed 
Hi
m:"
Sheal
readymether?
"
Me:
"Ihat
etoadmi
tbuty
eah"
Him:"
ThenIshoul
dstartpr
epar
ingmybestman
sui
tbecausei
tseemslikeI'
l
lbethebest
man
soonert
hanIhadexpected"
Il
aughed 
Me:
"Ihav
en'
tev
enpr
oposedt
oBoi
tumel
o"
.
..
Him:
"Luthandocanyouseeukut
siy
ou'
re
compli
catingt
hingsMar
a? "
Iwor
emyv
est
 
Me:
"Howam Icompl
i
cat
ingt
hings?
"
Him:"Youhav emom whohasalr
eadymet
Boineelo.Andifr
eal
l
ysheisoutwithBoi
neelo
thenitmeansshealreadyl
ovesherandonthe
othersidetherei
sBoit
umelowhom youlov
e"
Iwal
kedt
othedoor
Me:
"Whosai
dIl
oveBoi
tumel
o?"
H:
"Ev
enabl
i
ndper
soncanseet
hat"
Me:
"Theny
ourassumpt
ionsar
ewr
ong"
Him:"
Whyareyouhol
dingherhost
agei
fyou
dontl
ovehert
hen?"
Myphoner
ang 
Il
ookedati
tandi
twasTeecal
l
ing.
Ilookedat
Baf
ana 
Me:"AndshutupbecauseIwannat
aket
hishe
keptqui
et 
Me:
"Tee?
"
Hi
m:"
Bral
uu"
Me:
"What
'supman?"
Hi
m:"
Uh.Br
aLuu.I
ts.i
tst
hegi
rl,
sher
anaway"
Me:
"Whatdoy
oumeansher
anaway?
"
Hi
m:"
Shesentmet
obr
ingherwat
ert
henshe
r
anaway?
"
Ikeptqui
etf
orawhi
l
e
Me:
"Teedon'
tfuckwi
thmeokay
?"
Hekeptqui
et 
Me:"
Don'tyoudarefuckwi t
hme..Howcana
gi
rlr
unawaywhi leItol
dy outol
ockheri
n?
Bet
terfi
ndherbecauseI '
m onmywayandtrust
me, i
fIdon'tf
indherI'
l
lfuckyouup!"
Ihungupandpunchedt
hewal
lver
yhar
d 
"I
'
llt
akethatasBoi
tumel
oranaway"
Baf
ana
spoke 
It
urnedt
ohi
m 
Me:"Thatbi
tchwill
knowmewel l
!!!shebet
ter
pr
aythatIdon'tf
indherbecauseifIdoncncnc
nc"
Baf
anal
ookedatme 
Hi
m:"
Youdon'
tmeant
hatdoy
ou?
"
It
ookmycarkey
sandat
tempt
edt
owal
kout
buthehadal
readyr
anupt
omeandbl
ockedmy
way 
Him:
"Icannotl
etyougoli
ket
his..
Thelastt
ime
youl
eftli
kethi
syouendedupinpri
son"
Him:"Soyouwantmet oj
ustl
etBoi
tumel
o
bul
lshitmeli
kethat?
"
Hekeptqui
et 
Me:
"Exact
ly!
'
Isli
ghtl
ypushedhi
mtothesideandwalkedout
...
Boit
umelohascometoapointwher
eshe
for
cedmet ounburyt
hebur
iedbeasti
nme. ..
I'
l
l
makehertalk!!
!
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Sher
ant
ohugme.
..
.
.
..
.
Itookt herisktogettothehot el..
.assoonasI
madei toutofLA! quizyard,IknewIhadmade
i
tt othehot el.
.I
tdidn'
ttakemeev en20
minuitest ogetalif
tandi tdroppedmeatt he
hotelandIr anstrai
ghttoKwezi 'shotelr
oom
becauseIknewt hatifIwentt omi neor
Kwena' s,Luthandowouldcomel ookingforme
thereandi tisonlyGodt hatknowswhathe
wouldhav edone 
Kwena:
"Di
dhehar
myou?
"
Ishookmyheadwhi
l
ewi
pingmyt
ear
swi
tht
he
backofmyhand 
Her
:"Weshoul
dprobabl
ygety
ououtofher
e
bef
orehef
indsyou"
Khwez
i:
''
Anyi
deaonwher
eyou'
l
ltakeher?
"
Kwena:
"Idon'
tknow.
..
I'
mthi
nki
ngofThomas'
s
apar
tment"
Ishookmyhead
Me:
"Kwenahemi
ghtf
indmet
her
e..
He'
l
lki
l
lme
i
fhedoes"
Her:
"I
'mreal
lyti
redoft
hisl
i
fe"shesaidthat
f
rustr
atedl
ywipi
nghersweatonherforehead.
..
Me:
"I
'l
lgobackhome.
.sur
elyhewon'
tfi
ndme
t
her
e"
Her
:"
Arey
ousur
e?"
Inodded 
Her:
"Letmegogetyousomethi
ngt
owearthen
,Khweziwenacal
lanubert
ocomefet
chher..
.
.
..
.
Every
timeIthinkofLuthando, Iget
goosebumpsandmyemot ionsjustmix...
That
guydoest hi
ngsthatnoonehasev erdonet one
emotional
lybutthefearIhavef orhi
mi s
undescri
bableandunexplainable.
..
Ihavenev er
experi
encedsuchinmyl if
e. .
May beiti
slove
andmay beitishowitshouldbeexpr essed
becauseIknownot
hingabouti
t,buti
fitt
rul
yis
l
ovethenIlovet
odif
fer.
..
.
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Iwasholdi
ngbabyNathashainhandand
Lut
hando'smot
herwascar r
yingafr
uitbasket
whichmom gavei
ttoher...
Her:
"It
hinkLut
handoi
sback"
Me:"Ial
sot
hinkso.
.Thesecur
it
ydoori
s
opened"
Shepushedt
hedooropenand 
wal
kedi
nwhi
l
eIf
oll
owedbehi
ndher
..
Iwassurpr
isedtofi
ndBaf
analeani
ngont
he
doorf
ri
dgedr i
nki
ngjui
cef
rom t
hejug 
Thami
:"Youst
il
lhav
ethathabi
tev
ennow?
"
Baf
anarai
sedhi
sheadandsmi
l
edwhenhesaw
hi
smother
 
Hi
m:"
Yout
aughtmet
his"
Theybot
hchuckl
ed
Thami
:
"Howar
eyou?
"
Baf
ana:
"I'
m wel
l.
."
heputt
hejugandt
het
abl
eandt
ookThasha
fr
om me..
Hekissesheral
lov
erandt
ickl
edherwhi
l
eshe
l
aughedsoftl
y 
Hi
m:"Daddymi
ssedy
ouAngel
"
Ir
oll
edmyey
es 
Thami
:"Wher
eisLut
hando?
"
Bafana:
"AtLA!
qui
z.Hehadanemer
gencyt
o
runto"
Thami
:"What
'swr
ongwi
thLut
handokant
i?He
i
sn'
tgi
vi
nghi
sat
tent
iont
oBoi
neel
oli
kehehas
t
o..
."
Bafana:"LA!
qui
zgotrobbedafewmont
hsback
soIthinkheisst
il
ltr
yingtor
egai
nhi
smoney
back"
Thami:"Thatst
il
ldoesn'
tgi
vehi
m anexcuset
o
notspendhisti
mewi thBoi
neel
o"
Bafanal
ookedatmet
henmov
edhi
sfocus
backonThasha..
.
Il
ookedatThami
Me:"
Ineedt
ochangesoIcanst
artpr
epar
ing
di
nner" 
Shegav
emeahandbagandIal
sot
ookmi
ne
andheadedupst
air
s..
.

Iwonderwhat'shappeningt
oLuthando
becauseeversinceIgother
e,hehasbeen
scarceandhenev ercal
l
edmedur i
ngthedayt
o
j
ustcheckonme..
.Andwhat ev
erthat'
sgoi
ng
on,i
tseemsasifBafanaknowsit..
.

MOTHER'
SHATRED 
Tobecont
inued 

[
04/
28,
18:
10]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED

 I
nser
t24

'
Ifyoucouldlookbehi
ndt hemaskhi dingmy
scarface,youwouldn'
tresistthetemptat
ion
..Herhatr
edtowardsmehasl eftdeepscars
thatIevenfai
ltor
evealtothepubl i
c'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

I
tsbeenf
ewday ssi
nceIl
astsawLuthando
..
Hehasn'
tcal
l
edsinceIr
anawayfrom LA!qui
z
..
.
Kwenatol
dmehewenttothehotell
ooki
ngf
or
meandpromi
sedKwenathathe'
l
l ki
l
lmewhen
hefi
ndsme..
.
Lucki
l
ymom gav emedaysofft
il
lshecanfi
nd
whoeverkidnappedmebecauseshewastol
dI
was"kidnapped"..
Iwasint
heki
tchenhav
ingbr
eakf
astwi
th
That
o 
That
o:"Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngt
oday?
"
Ikeptqui
etbecauseIst
il
lhadf
oodi
nmy
mout
h 
Me:
"I
'm wel
lhey"
Her
:"
Arey
ousur
e?"
Iey
edherbef
oregoi
ngbackt
omyy
oghur
t 
Me:
"Whatdoy
oumean?
"
Her:
"Boi
tumeloImightbeakidbutI'
m matur
ed
enoughtoseether
e'ssomethi
ng..Aunt
ie
pl
easetell
kokobeforeit
stoolat
e"
NowIwasabi tl
ost.
..
Idi
dn'
tknowhowt
o
answerher
..
.
Mom savedt
hemomentwhenshewal kedi
n,
That
ocanbey oungbutherquest
ionsar
e
i
nti
midat
ingatti
mes 
Mom:
"Mor
ning?
"
Shewal
kedt
othef
ri
dge 
Us:
"Mor
ning"
That
ost
oodupandt
ookherbagpack 
Her:
"Andthat
'smyquet
ol eave.
..
Boit
umelo
don'
tfor
getouri
cecr
eam dateaf
terschool
"
Ismi
l
edf
aint
ly..
shewal
kedout
 
Mom satdown 
Her
:"Sf
isowi
l
lbeher
etoni
ght
"
Ikeptqui
et
Her
:"Hewant
syoutospendt
henightwi
thhi
m
soyoushoul
dgetr
eadyby6pm "
Inodded
Her:
"IhearThat
otel
l
ingmey
ouwer
evomi
ti
ng,
what'
swr ong"
Ichokedonmybreat
hbutcov
eredi
twi
tha
for
cedchuckl
e 
Me:"
Ijustat
esomet
hingver
ybadt
omyt
ummy
not
hingtoworr
yabout"
Shesi
ghed 
Her:
"ThankGod,
Icannotmanaget
ohav
eyou
pr
egnant"
Ikeptqui
et 
Her:
"Speakingofpr
egnancyI
'l
lbetakingal
lgir
ls
i
ncl
udingy outoadoctort
omorrowfor
pr
egnancyandHI Vandotheri
nfecti
onstest
ing
"
Inodded 
Shet
ookherbot
tl
edwat
erandst
oodup 
Me:
"Ihav
en'
tseenBoi
neel
osi
nceIgotback"
Her:"She'
satherhusbandspl
ace"shesai
d
thatwithsomuchproudinhervoi
ceandwas
smili
ng 
Me:
"Husband?"
Shenodded 
Her:
"Phel
aBoineel
oissuchawomenandhasa
br
ightfut
ureaheadofher
.I'
m sopr
oudofmy
Angeley!"
Thathi
thome.
..
Shesmi
l
edandwal
kedawayl
eav
ingmei
n
t
ear
s 
"
MOTHER'
SHATRED!
!!
"myi
nnerv
oiceshout
ed
wi
thi
n 
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

Ihavet ri
edtomakeBoi tumel otalktomebut
shecoul dn'
t..
Iwentasfarashol dingher
hostagebutshedeci dedt orun..Itri
edtomake
Kwena' sli
fehardtomakehert ellmeabouther
wher eaboutsbutshecoul dn'tt
ellme. SoIj
ust
decidedt ol
etherbeandf orgetabouther
becausei twasclearshelov esBeinga
prostit
uteandisapr ost
itutebychoi ce..
.
Trustme, iti
shar
dfor
gett
ingBoi
tumelobutt
he
truthi
si wasusi
ngBoi
neel
oasmyshi el
dto
forgetBoit
umelo.
.
.
..
..
Boi
neel
owalkedinthebedroom whil
ewas
pl
aci
ngmylaptopinthelaptopbag..
Shehadat
raywi
thbr
eakf
asti
nhandand
pl
acedont
hebed 
Her
:"It
houghty
ouwoul
dst
il
lbesl
eepi
ng"
Me:
"Ihav
etogowor
k"
Her
:"
OhIf
orgot"
Me:"
Iknow..
Youfor
gotbecausey
out
hought
I
'm ahousewi
fel
i
key ouare"
Imumbl
edt
hel
astsent
ence 
Her
:"
Excuseme"
It
ookt
hebag 
Me:
"I
'l
lseey
oul
ater"
Her
:"
Andy
ourbr
eakf
ast
?"
"
I'
m al
readyl
ate,
I'
ll
grabsomet
hingatwor
k"
shesi
ghed 
Iwal
kedout.
..
 
.
..
.
Isati
nmycarsi ncewel lIwasabitearl
y,
the
tr
uthisevenwhenIt r
yt ouseBoineelot
of or
get
aboutBoit
umelo..shejustsuf
focatesmeand
sheistooeasyforme. .
It
ookmycel
l
phoneandt
ext
edBaf
ana 
"
Meetmeatmyof
fi
cei
nlesst
han30mi
nui
tes"
Idr
oveof
faf
tersendi
ngt
hatmessage.
..
.
.
..
..

Hewasal
readywai
ti
ngf
ormeseat
edonmy
chai
r 
Me:
"Youl
ooksocomf
ort
abl
e"
Isai
dmaki
ngmywayi
n 
Hechuckl
ed 
Hi
m:"
Whyam Iher
e?"
Isatdownont
hev
isi
tor
schai
r 
Me:
"Boi
tumel
o..
'
'
Hechuckl
ed 
Hi
m:"
Ithoughty
ousai
dyou'
rel
ett
inggoofher"
Ini
bbl
edmyl
i
p 
Me:
"I
'mt
ryi
ngbuti
tshar
dman"
Hi
m: "Thenfindher,t
alkt
oheranddon'tuse
vi
olence,justtal
ktohermanandli
stentoher"
Il
eanedback 
Me:
"Ij
ustgetangr
ywhenIseeher"
Hi
m: "
Iknow.
.Luuy
oudon'
twannagobackt
o
j
ail
man"
Me:
"I
'l
laskThomast
ofi
ndherf
orme"
Hesmi
l
ed 
Hi
m:"
That
'smyboy"
"
Voet
sek!
"Isai
dpl
ayf
ull
y 
Hel
aughed 
Hi
m:"
Ihav
easur
ger
ytor
un"
.
Me:"Hamba!"helaughedev
enmor
est
andi
ng
upandmakinghiswayout 
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Isni
ff
ed 
Her
:"
What
'swr
ongmybaby?
"
Me:"I
tsLuthandoma!
Ihavebeentry
ingtobea
goodgir
lf
ri
endbuthekeepsonpushingme
away"
Shesi
gheddeepl
y 
Her
:"
I'
ll
comet
hatsi
det
omor
row"
Me:"
Noma!don' tcome,I
'
m goingbackhome
..
May beIshoul
dacceptt
hatLutbandodoesn'
t
l
oveme"
Her:
"Nobabydon'
t!Justal
l
owmet
ocomet
hat
si
deandtalkt
ohim okay?"
Me:
"Yes"
Her:"
JuststaythereandI '
l
l t
alktohim..
.Idon'
t
wantLuthandotobel i
kehi sfather.
.Heshoul
d
l
earnfrom hi
sfathersmi st
akesandnev ertr
eat
youthewayhisf at
hertreatedme."
Isni
ff
edagai
n 
Her
:"
Justdon'
tl
ethi
m pushy
ouawayokay?
"
"
Yeah"
Her:
"Nowstayst
rong.
.I
'
llbet
her
etomor
rowt
o
t
alktohi
m okay?"
Ikeptqui
et 
Her
:"
Ilov
eyoubaby"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"
Shehungupmaki ngmoretearsrundownmy
cheeks.
.It
houghtcal
l
ingLuthando'
smother
wouldmakemefeelbet
terbuti
tseem l
i
keI
t
openedatapoft
ear
s...
Il
oveLuthandobuti
tseem l
i
kehe'
spushi
ngme
awayli
keallmenIhavedat
edbackthen.
..
I
sobbedall
alone.
..
•
•
•
#Kwena

Icatwalkedi
ntoBafana'sof
fice.
.Hecalledme
tocomebyhi soffi
cetotal
kaboutBoitumelo
..Lucki
l
yhehadt ol
dhisrecepti
oni
stI'
m coming
soshedi dn'
tgi
vemepr obl
emswi thgoingin 
"
Andi
tssohotf
orwi
ndowst
ocl
osed"
Heli
ft
edhi
sheadandsmi
l
edwhenhesawi
t
wasme..
Hi
m:"
Howl
onghav
eyoubeenst
andi
ngt
her
e?"
Imademywayi
ncl
osi
ngt
hedoorbehi
ndme 
Me:"
Longenought
oseey
ou'
recut
eint
hat
doct
orscoat"
Hechuckl
edst
andi
ngupandmaki
nghi
swayt
o
me 
Hi
m:"
Ihopey
ouwer
enotbusy"
Heheldmyhandandwal
kedmet
othepat
ient
s
bed 
Me:
"Notr
eal
l
y,whatcanIdof
ory
ou?
"
Hehel
pedmecl
i
mbt
hemi
nist
air
sandsi
ton
t
hebed 
Him:"Ineeedust
otal
kaboutBoi
tumel
oand
Luthando"
Hewal
kedt
othedoorandl
ockedi
t 
Me:
"Whataboutt
hem ?
"
Hi
m:"Ineedustoarr
anget
hem asur
pri
se
di
nnersotheycanbeabl
etot
alkabout
ev
erythi
ng"
Me:
"Goodi
deabutwhati
fhehur
tsher?
"
"
Idoubt"hewasinbetweenmythi
ghsandmy
l
acepanti
eswereshowingsi
ncewel
lIwas
wear
ingaminidress 
"
Soareyoui
n?"Hisl
ipswer
esocl
oset
omi
ne
maki
ngneshi
verali
tt
le 
Me:
"Sur
ewhynot"
Hesmi
l
ed.
..
Hi
shandranhi
shandsuptomybr
east
sand
sl
owl
yrubbedt
hem t
oget
her 
Me:
"Whensoul
dthatbe?
"Iwhi
sper
ed 
"
Iwannabeinsidey
ou"hewhisper
edtori
ghti
n
myli
psignor
ingmyquest
ion.
.Iwasal
readywet
..
Ibroughtmyhandsar oundhi
sneckanddeep
kissedhim..
wewer esupposedtodoever
ythi
ng
fastbecausewewer einhi
soffi
ceandsur
ely
patientswer
ewait
ingt obeatt
endesi
ncewell
hei stheonl
ydoct
or..
Heunbuckledhi
strouserandpushedittohi
s
kneeswhil
esti
ll
kissi
ngme. .Hewassohar d.I
don'
tknowwherehegott heprot
ecti
onf r
om
butal
lIknowisIheardthesoundofitopening
whil
ewewer esti
llki
ssi
ngandIhandj obbi
ng
him..
.
Hepushedi ttohismanhoodandr ubbedit
wieneronmycooki ebutIwassoaki ngwet..He
gotinsidemeandi mmediat el
yletoutaloud
groanbuthequi ckl
ycovereditwithhismouth
andst art
ingthrusti
nginwhi l
ehishandwer e
balancingnicelyandgrabbingmybut t..
..
.

TOBECONTI
NUED 
Mot
her
'shat
red
[
04/
28,
18:
11]Ron:
MOHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t25

'
ALLshecoul
dhav
edonewast
oter
minat
eme
whil
eIstil
lwasinherwomb, inthatwayI
wouldn'
thavedeal
twithsomuchhat redfrom
herandneverdeal
twit
ht hepainofbeing
tr
eatedl
ikeanenemybymyownmot her'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Ali
tt
lebitofcol
dairhitmyface, Ibr
ushedit
awayturni
ngtotheothersi
de. .
.Wetli
pskissed
myforeheadmakingmehi ttheperson..
.
Achuckl
edmaki
ngmeopenmyey
es.
..
Iwaswel
comedbySf
iso'
scut
efacesmi
l
ing.
.
"
Mor
ning"hegr
eet
ed.
.
Isatupst
rai
ghtandy
awned 
Me:
"Whatt
imei
sit?
"
Hel
ookedathi
swr
istwat
ch.
Hewasweari
ngawhi
tev
estandgr
eyshor
t
sweat
pant
s 
Hi
m:"
7:30"
"
Fli
p!!
"Iqui
ckl
yst
oodup 
Hi
m:"I
fyouthi
nkmommywil
lki
l
lyou,
noshe
won'
tIbookedyout
il
l9"
Me:"
Oh?Butwear
esupposedt
oseeadoct
or
now?"
Hi
m:"Iknow,I
'
lldr
ivey
ouf
ornowhav
e
br
eakfast"
Isatdown 
Hegav
emeapl
aceandagl
assofj
uice 
Him:
"Nothi
ngf
ancy,j
ustcaul
if
lowercheese
andcot
tagepi
eontheside"
Me:
"I
'm notf
ami
l
iarwi
thi
t"
Hechuckl
ed
"
Theny
ouhav
ebeenmi
ssi
ngout"
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:
"Ineedt
obr
ushmyt
eet
hfi
rst"
Him:
"Okay.
.t
hebathr
oom i
sont
heseconddoor
goi
ngdbacktothestai
rs"
Ist
oodandat
tempt
edt
owal
koutbutst
opped
midway 
Me:
"CanIask?
"
Het
urnedandl
ookedatme 
Hi
m:"
Shoot?
"
Iwal
kedbackt
ohi
m andsatont
hebed
Me:
"Whyar
eyousoni
cet
ome?
"
Her
aisedhi
sey
ebr
ow 
Me:
"Imeanyoupaymymothert
osleepwi
th
mebutal
lyoudoi
scuddl
e.Why?"
Hesmi
l
ed 
"
Your
eal
l
ywannaknow?
"
Inodded 
Him:
"BecauseIcanseeri
ghti
nyourey
est
hat
youhavedeepscarsbur
iedi
nsi
deyou"
Ikeptqui
et 
Hi
m:"Boi
tumelo,y
ouaresuchawonderful
womenanddon'tdeser
veever
ythi
nghappeni
ng
i
nyourli
fe.
..
"
Ikeptqui
etst
il
l 
Hehel
dmychi
nupandmademel
ookathi
m 
Hi
m:"
Iwantedust ocr
eateabondtoget
herbutI
f
eelI
ikeIal
readyknowyouenoughtoaskyou
t
obemygi r
lfri
end"
Okay,
nowt
hatwasdeep 
Me:
"I
-l
"
Hest
oppedmewi
thhi
sthumb 
Him:
"Iknow..
Youdon'
thav
etosayanyt
hing.
If
you'
rescar
edofmommyIcantakeyou..
We
canl
eavet
heprov
inceandstar
tanewl
i
fei
n
CapeTownawayfr
om ever
yone"
Ibi
tmyl
i
ps 
"
Youcant
hinkabouti
t..
."
Inodded 
Hesmi
l
edandl
etgo 
Him:
"Gobr
ushy
ourt
eet
handeatsoIcandr
ive
you"
Ist
oodupandwal
kedout.
..
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

IwasatBafana'
ssur
ger
yhav
ingbr
eakf
astf
rom
wimpywit
hhi m 
"
Andwhot
oldhi
m?"
Ishr
uggedmyshoul
der
s 
Hechuckl
ed 
Hi
m:"
Manhowaboutwehi
tthecl
ubt
oni
ght?
"
Me:"
Goodi
deapl
usI
'
mtr
yingByal
lmeanst
o
av
oidBoi
neel
o"
Hechuckl
ed 
Him:"
Hai
ythatgi
rl!
Shehasmov
edi
nwi
thy
ou
vel
e?"
Me:
"I
tseemsso"
Hel
aughed 
Ist
oodup
Me:
"Ishoul
dgetgoi
ng"
Him:"
YeaI'
m sur
emypati
ent
sareher
e,Ihav
e
morethan30gir
lst
oat
tendbef
oreot
her
pati
ents"
Ichuckl
ed 
"
Ireal
l
yhat
eyourj
ob"
Hel
aughed 
Me:
"I
'l
lseey
oul
atert
hen"
Hi
m:"
Lat
eri
tis"
It
ookmycarkey
sandphonet
henwal
kedout.
..
ButIwastoosur
pri
sedt
of i
ndKwenawi
tha
groupofgi
rl
sbythewai
ti
ngarea.
..
Iwal
kedt
oher
 
Me:
"Hey?
"
Shel
ookedatme 
Her
:"
Hey"shesmi
l
ed 
Me:
"Andwhatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"
Her
:"Camet
oseeadoct
orandwhatar
eyou
doi
nghere?
"
Me:
"I
tsmyt
win'
ssur
ger
yremember
?"
Shesmi
l
ed 
Her
:"
Ifor
got"
Me:
"Andhowi
sBoi
tumel
o?"
Her
:"
Shei
swel
lhey"
Me:
"Gr
eetherf
ormepl
ease"
"
Wil
ldo"
Iwal
kedout.
..
EversinceIknewKwena.Ihavenev
erseenher
l
ikethat..
Shewassouncomf ort
abl
e,morel
ike
shedidsomet hi
ngandexpect
edmet oconf
ront
herwithit.
..
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Sfi
sodroppedmeatt hesurgeryar
ound8and
al
lgir
lshadalreadydonetest
ingandhad
al
readylef
t..
.Sfi
socall
edmom andpr omisedt
o
payextr
asoIhadnot hingtostr
essabout..
.
SoIwassi
tt
ingal
oneatt
hewai
ti
ngar
eaaf
terI
hadgonef
orascal
e..
.
Recept
ioni
st:
"Youmaygoi
nsi
si"
Ist
oodupandwal
kedi
n..
.
Thedoorwasslightl
yopenedsoIknockedand
j
ustpushedmysel fi
nbutalmostturnedwhen
Lut
hando'sbr
otherwasseatedthere..
Hechuckl
ed 
Hi
m:"
Youdon'
thav
etot
urnhey"
Icl
ear
edmyt
hroat
 
Hi
m: "
Don'tworr
y,pat
ient
-doct
ori
nfor
mat
ion
wi
llst
rict
lyremai
nhere"
Isatdown 
Hi
m:"
AndI
'
m pr
ett
ysur
eyou'
reher
efort
est
ing
?"
Inodded 
Het
ookoutneedlef
rom adrawerandi
nject
ed
me(Tookmybloodsamples)
.
..
..
.
Him:"Youcangot ot
hetoi
let,t
hereisasmall
containeri
nt her
esopeeitinbecauseI'
l
lneed
yourur i
nethenthebloodt
estwill
foll
ow"
Ist
oodupandwal
kedout.
.
Apartofmewant edyojustwal
koutofthe
sur
geryandnevercomeback. .
Whatifhewil
l
cal
lhi
sbrotherandtel
lhimI'
m around?.
..
Mymother
'snamef
lashedi
ncl
osi
ngt
hei
deaof
r
unni
ngaway...
Ipeedi
nitandwal
kedbacki
nsi
de.
..
Isatdown,
het
ookt
heur
ineandexami
nedi
t 
Hi
m:"
Howar
eyou?
"
Me:
"Uh-
uh?
"
Hel
aughed 
Him:
"Rel
ax,
Iwon'
ttel
lLuuy
ou'
reher
e.Howar
e
you?
"
Isi
ghedsi
l
ent
ly 
Me:
"I
'm okay"
 
Hei
nsert
edwhatl
ookedli
keapr
egnancyt
esti
n
t
heuri
neandt
henputitasi
de
Hi
m:"YourHlVtestcanbenegat
iveorposit
ive
.I
fit
sposit
iveIneedyoutoknowt hati
t'
snot
t
heendofthiswor l
dand-"
Me:"
Bafanajustt
ellmetheresult
s"Helooked
att
hetestsandlookedatmet henbackatit
..
.Myheartbeati
ncreasedi
nstantl
y 
Hi
m:"
Don'tyouusepr
otect
ionwhenhav
ingsex
wi
thyourcl
i
ents?"
Igotmor
escar
ed.
.Whati
fI'
m HI
Vposi
ti
ve?
HeLeanedcaref
ull
yonthet
abl
eandbr
ushed
hi
sfacefr
ustr
atedl
y..
Me:
"Saysomet
hing"
Hel
ookedatme 
Hi
m:"
Youar
epr
egnant.
."
If
eltl
i
kemyear
swer
edecei
vi
ngme.
.Whatwas
Igonnasayt
omymot
her?
Ial
waysmakesur
eIprot
ectmysel
fbutwher
e
andwhendi
dIgowrong?..
..
•
•
•
#Kwena

Iwasbusymessagi
ngThomasbutmymi
nd
wasn'
twit
hhi
m atall.
..
Hest
oodupt
ofaceme 
"
Kwenawhat
'swr
ong?
"Heasked 
Me:
"Uh.
.mmh?
"
Hehel
dmyhands 
Hi
m:"
Kwena?
"
Isnapped 
Me:
"I
'mj
ustnotf
eel
i
ngwel
l"
Hi
m:"
What
'sup?
"
Me:
"Ihav
eaheadache"
"
Shoul
dIgety
ouAny
thi
ng?
"
Me:
"Gr
andpa"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
got
othenear
estshopt
ogeti
t"
Hewor ehi
str
ouserandwal
kedoutgi
vingme
chancetot
akemyphoneandtextBaf
ana 
"
Hey,
canwemeet?
"
-
sent
 
"
Sure,I
'm st
il
latt
hesur
ger
ybutwecanmeet
l
et'
ssayBoulder
s?In45minui
tes?
"
-
recei
ved 
Ismi
l
ed 
"
Sur
ethi
ng,
seey
ou"
-
Sent
 
Iqui
ckl
yworemyclothesandwr
oteasmal
l
messageonpaperf
orThomasthenwal
kedout
.
..

Tobecont
inued
Mot
her
'shat
red 
 
[
04/
28,
18:
12]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t26 

'
Theonl ythingIknowaboutl i
fei
sfeel
i
ng
unl
ov ed,towantr evenge,t
omakemi stakes,
tosufferdisappoint
ments,yetal
sotofi
ndthe
couragetogof or
wardinli
fe'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o 
"
I'
mter
minat
ingi
t!"
Hi
m:"
Uh?
"
Me:
"I
'mter
minat
ingi
t!"Isai
dinapani
cki
ng
manner
 
Hest
oodup 
Hi
m:"
Arey
ousur
e?"
Il
ookedathi
m 
Me:
"Ar
eyouf
orr
eal
rightnow?
"
Hekeptqui
et 
Hi
m:"
Doy
ouknowwho'
sthef
ather
?"
Il
ookedathi
m unbel
i
evabl
e 
"I
'
m aprosti
tut
eDamni
t!Iri
deever
ydi
ck.
So
howshouldIknowt
hefather?
"
Hi
m: "
Surel
yther
e'ssomeoney
ounev
erused
pr
otecti
onwith.
."
It
houghtf
orawhi
l
e 
"
I..
.Iboughtamor
ningaf
terpi
l
l!"
Hi
m:"
Begy
ourpar
don?
"
Ist
oodupandpacedal
lar
ound 
"Lut
hando!Lut
hando!
Luthando!!
..
Younev er
boughtthemorni
ngaf
terpil
l!"Myinnerv
oi ce
shoutedwit
hin
Isatbackdown 
Me:
"Shi
t!!
!"
icov
eredmyf
ace 
Hi
m:"
Soy
ouknowt
hef
ather?
"
At
earescapedmyey
e
Hi
m:"
Boi
tumel
o?"
Iwi
pedt
hem andsni
ff
ed 
Me:
"Idon'
tknowt
heFat
herandI
'
mter
minat
ing
i
t"
Hi
m:"We'l
lwaitf
ortheresul
tsf
rom t
hel
abt
hen
we'
l
ltakeitf
rom ther
e"
Me:
"Andhowl
ongwi
l
lthatbe?
"
"
72hour
s"heanswer
ed
Me:
"Icannotwai
tfort
hatl
ong"
Hi
m:"
Ther
e'snot
hingIcando"
Ist
oodupandt
ookmybag 
Hi
m:"
Myadvi
se,
don'
tter
minat
eil
l
egal
l
y,y
ou
mi
ghtdi
e"
"
Doy
out
hinkI
'
mthatst
upi
d?"
Hi
m:"
Iwasj
ustsay
ing"
Iwal
kedout.
.
HowcanIbesocar
eless?
Lut
handoi
shungr
yformybl
oodandnowI
'
m
car
ryi
nghi
schi
ld?
Howt
hehel
ldi
dIcompl
i
cat
emyl
i
fel
i
ket
his?
..
•
•
•
#Kwena 

"
Boi
tumel
oispr
egnantandshewant
sto
t
ermi
nat
eit"
-
messagef
rom Lut
hando 
.
..
.
Icov
eredmymout
hinshock 
"
OhmyGod!
!"
-
sent
 
"
Exactl
ymyr eacti
on, soIneedyouy
of i
ndout
whoisthefatherbecauseIcannott
erminat
e
mybrother
schi l
difi
tis"
-
recei
ved 

Isatont
hebed.
.
I
twasalott
otakei
n..
.Boi
tumel
oisnotready
f
orachi
l
dandhermotherwil
lsur
elyki
l
lher..
Aknockonthedoorst
art
ledmeabi
t..
.Ist
ood
uptoopenandi
twasBoitumel
o'
smother..
Shewal
kedi
n 
"
Boss"Ibowed 
Shechuckl
ed
"
Icoul
dreal
l
ygetusedt
obei
ngcal
l
edt
hat"
Isecr
etl
yrol
l
edmyey
es 
Her
:"
I'
m her
eformymoney"
Iwal
kedtot
hebedandt
ookoutanenv
elope
andgav
eitt
oher 
Me:
"12ksquar
e"
Sheopenedi
tbutdi
dn'
tcountt
hemoney
 
Her
:"
Mmhh"
.
..
Her:
"I
'l
lbegiv
ingbot
hyouandBoit
umel
oa
pr
omot i
on.Youarer
eli
abl
eworker
s"
Me:
"Pr
omot
ion?
"
Her
:"Yeah.
..
Cometomyhouset
omor
row,
I'
ll
t
ell
youal l
abouti
t"
Inodded 
Shet
urnedandwal
kedout
 
Iwalkedbackt
othebedbutaknockagai
n
di
sturbedmeAgh!!
Iwal
kedt
oopenandi
twasBoi
tumel
o..
.
Iexpect
edhertojustt
hrowhersel
finmyar
ms
andleti
tal
loutbutshedidn'
t 
"
Boi
tumel
o?"
Shesmi
l
edf
aint
ly 
Her:
"Ij
ustsawmom wal
ki
ngoutofher
e,what
di
dshewant ?
"
Me:
"Wascol
l
ect
ingmoney.
Arey
ouokay?
"
Shesatont
hecouch 
Her
:"
Ye.
.y
eah!
West
il
lgoi
ngoutt
oni
ghtr
ight?
"
Isl
owl
ynodded 
Her
:"
Don'
tyouhav
eany
thi
ngst
rong?
"
Ishookmyheadno.
.
Ihadi
t,IhadHennesseybecauseI
'
m addi
cted
t
oitbutIwoul
dn'
tri
skgi
vi
ngi
ttoher
 
Her:
"Mybadthen..
Iguesswe'
ll
havet
ogoout
ear
lybecauseIwannagetdr
unk"
Iey
esher
 
Me:
"Ar
eyousur
eyou'
reokay?
"
Shesatdownandsi
ghed 
Her
:"
KwenaI
'
m pr
egnantokay?
"
Iact
edshockedbecauseIknewshowi
ngherI
knewwouldmakeherangry 
Me:
"No!.
.Who'
sthef
ather?
"
Shest
oodupandbr
ushedherhi
ps 
Her
:"
It
sLut
hando.
..
"Shewhi
sper
ed 
Isi
ghedheav
il
y
Me:
"Sowhatar
eyourpl
ans?
"
Her:
"Tot
erminat
eitobv
iousl
y!Icannothandl
e
Lut
handoandthebabysagaandont heother
si
dether
e'smom "
Ikeptqui
et 
Her
:"
I'
m goi
ngtochange,
dot
hesamebecause
we'
regoi
ngout"
Shest
oodupandwal
kedt
othecl
oset.
.
It
urnedandt
ookmycel
l
phone 
"
It
sLut
hando'
sbaby!
"
-
sent
 
Istoodupandchangedtoblackdressthat
reachedmidthi
ghsandwhitebeigetr
enchcoat
sincewel
lIhadal
readybat
he...
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o 
IwatchedBafanaandLuthandogetti
ngin
Luthando'
scaranddri
vingaway...
IwishedI
couldjoi
nthem .
.Heseemedv er
ymuchhappy
andhisfacehadasmi l
ethatIhaveneverseen
whenev
erhe'
swit
hme. .
Ahandonmyshoul
der
br
oughtmebackreal
i
ty 
"
Arey
ouokay?
"
It
urnedt
ofaceherandshookmyheadno 
Luu'smom :
"I
twil
lal
lbewellmybaby,j
ustl
et
hi
m dealwit
hwhatevert
hat
'sbot
heri
nghim and
surel
yheshall
befi
ne"
Me:"
Whenma?If
eel
li
keI
'
mfor
cingmysel
fto
hi
m"
Sheshookherhead 
"HelovesyouandIcanseei
tthr
oughhi
mthat
helovesyou"
Isi
ghed 
Me:
"Mai
-"
"
Shhh"
Sheopenedherar
msf
ormeandIj
ustmangl
ed
i
nthem .
..
Iwi
shedi
twoul
dbeLut
handot
hatl
ovesand
underst
andmel i
kethewayhismot
herlov
es
me..Iwishhecouldj
ustgiv
emehisti
meand
l
ovemel i
keheal
way ssay.
..
.
..
Apartofmewant smet oletgoofhi m buta
par
tofmewant smet ojusttof i
ghtandt hat
'
s
whatI'
m wil
li
ngandgonnado. .
I'
llf
ightformy
manandI '
l
lfi
ghttogethisattenti
on!!
..
.•
•
•
#Lut
hando 

Weweresit
ti
ngatarest
aur
antwit
hBafana..
We
wer
egett
ingourst
omachsful
lbef
orehi
tti
ng
t
heclub.
..
Shockingl
yitwasonlyhim andIi
nthe
rest
aurant,
andeveryt
hingwasdecoratedmor
e
l
ikeitwasadate...
Thelightswer
ealsodimmed
onlyredcandl
eli
ght
swer elit
"Someonewoul
dswearwear
eagaycoupl
e
outonadat
e"
Hel
aughed 
Hi
m:"
Wear
etwi
ngaycoupl
eHaou!
"
Ichuckl
ed
Me:
"Cany
ouaskt
hem t
oswi
tcht
hel
i
ght
son?
"
Hi
m:"
Justenj
oyt
hesnackman"
.
..
.
Hi
m:"
Campai
gn?"
 
Me:
"Iwantf
oodnott
hist
hings"
Hel
ookedal
lar
ound 
Me:
"Ar
eyouexpect
ingany
one?
"
Heopenedhi smouthtotal
kbutstoppedwhen
hel
ookeddoor way,Ial
soturnedt
oseewhat
hewasseeingandIdon'tknowifIwouldsayI
wassurpr
isedorshockedtoseeBoitumel
oand
Kwenamaki ngthei
rwayin..
.
TheycameourwayandKwenagr
eet
ed 
Me:
"What
'sgoi
ngonher
e?"
Il
ookedatBaf
ana 
Icoul
dseet hefearwr
it
tenall
overBoit
umel
o'
s
faceandthetrut
his,i
tpier
ceddeepinsi
de
knowingshefearedme 
Boi
tumel
o:"
Kwenawhat
'sgoi
ngon?
"
Kwenacl
ear
edhert
hroat
 
"
Guysyouneedt
ostopbei
ngchil
dishandf
ace
y
ourpr
oblems"Kwenaspoke 
Ikeptqui
et 
Bafana:"
Luuthisi
syourt
imeman,youhaveto
expressyourfeel
i
ngstoBoi
tumel
o"helooked
atBoitumelo 
"AndwenatellLuthandot
hetr
uth..
..
.AndI
meanthetruth!"Heconti
nuedbutmadesure
hisl
astsentencewasboldenoughtobehear
d..
"
Kwena,
let
'sgetoutofher
e"hegav
eouthi
s
handt
oKwenaandshet
ooki
t 
[
04/
28,
18:
12]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t27

'
Hav
eyoueverbeenl
ovedbyall
peopl
eexcept
f
ort
heonl
ypersonyoushoul
dcall
yourmother?
I
tfeel
sli
keyou'
rehatedbyev
eryone,
herhat
red
j
ustcl
osesall
thelov
earoundyou'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Lut
hando 

Iwatchedherasshewantedtotal
kbuttears
couldn'
tstopf
lowi
ng..
ItwasdeeperthanIhave
thought.
.Shej
ustcoul
dn'
thideherpainandher
ey
essai
dital
l.
.
"I.
..
Idon'
tunder
stand.
Boit
umel
oyourst
ory
doesn'
taddyou"Ispoke 
Her
:"
Lut
handoI.
..
I"shesi
ghed 
"
LuthandoIam notwhatIam becauseIwant.
..
I
wishtobeli
keothernormalgi
rl
sbutIcan'
t,my
l
if
ehasbeenplannedf orme"
Me:"
Boit
umel
owhocanplanfory
outobe
pr
osti
tut
e?Whocanj
ustdothat?"
Me:
"I
..
."
"
Pleasel
etmef
ini
sh.
."Shespokei
ntear
s 
Me:"
Ital
lst
artedwhenmyf at
herpassedon
..Mymotherchanged.Shejustbecamesoevil
andhadhatredtowardsmet hatevenlef
tme
wonderi
ngifI'
m herchi
ld.Shewouldletmego
tobedhungryyetmysisterwaswoul dget
ever
ythi
ngshewant. .
"
Shesni
ff
ed 
Her:
"Lut
handoIwoul
dn'
tchosebeapr
ost
it
ute.
I
don'
tenjoyr
idi
ngmanformoney?"
Ishookmyheadno.
.
Hert
earswer
esot
rueandshowedshewas
br
oken 
"Lut
handoherhat
redtowar
dsmei ski
l
li
ngme
andkil
li
ngmeslowlyandsheknowsyett
reat
s
melikeasl
ave"
Hersobswer
eget
ti
ngl
oud 
Me:
"Soy
ou'
resay
ingi
syourmot
her?
"
Shenoddedwhilewipi
nghertear
swit
hthe
backofherhand..
Evenwhenshewipethem
awayitwassti
ll
thesamebecausetheykepton
fl
owingli
keatabful
lyopened..
Icoul
dn'
tunder stand,howcouldamot herdo
thatt
oherownchi ld.
.Iexpectmothersloveto
beunconditi
onal.Mothersshouldbepr otect
ive
overt
heirchil
drennotsel lt
hem t
ool derman
formoney..
Me:"Wher
eisyoursi
sterwhenal
lthi
sis
happeni
ng?"
Her:
"Sheisaround,shegetsallshewantyet
sheistheblacksheepofthefamilybutal
lhas
beenpaintedonme. Shecarelessaboutme
andjustenjoyherl
if
etothefull
est"
Me:"
I..
"Isi
ghed, honest
lyspeaki
ngIdi
dn'
t
knowhowtor espondtoher 
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry,
Idi
dn'
tknowi
twast
hatdeep"
Her
:"
Mot
her
'shat
red!
!"
Ist
oodupt
owal
ktohersi
de.
.
Ihavenev ermetsomeonesobr okenev erinmy
l
ife..Ifoundmysel ff
alli
ngforherev enmor e
becausei tt
rul
yshowedt hatshewasbr oken
..Behindhersmi l
eyfacet r
ulyli
esat rul
ybr oken
womenwhousesamaskt ohi deherscar s..
I
huggedherasshel etitall
out. Ididn'
t
recogni seIhadopenedsobi gwoundsunt ilshe
fell
onherkneesandl etitallout...
•
•
•
#Baf
ana 

Ismil
edseeingherdancel
ikethat.
.Shehadher
hipsfol
l
owingwellt
othesoundorr yt
hem of
thesong,wewerejustcl
ubbing..
.
Shecameandsatonmyt
highs 
Her
:"
Whyar
en'
tdanci
ng?
"
Ishookmyhead 
Me:
"Nah,
danci
ngai
n'
tforme"
Shepout
edmaki
ngmel
augh 
Me:
"Kwenano!
"
Sheal
sol
aughed,
Iwr
appedmyar
msar
ound
her
 
Me:
"Let
'
sleav
ethi
spl
ace?
"
Her
:"
Goi
ngt
oyourpl
ace?
"
Inoddedshy
ly 
Her
:"
Okay,
onel
astshotwel
eav
ing"
Shest
oodupandwal
kedt
othebart
abl
e..
.
IsawThomasapproachi
ngme.Thesound
wasn'tsol
oudbecausewewer
eintheVIP
sect
ion 
"Booki
ngt
hepr
ost
it
utef
ort
heni
ght?
"He
asked 
Ir
aisedmyheadandchuckl
ed 
"
Excuseme?
"Iasked 
Heal
sochuckl
ed 
"
CanI?
Me:
"Sur
ebutI
'
m aboutt
oleav
e"
Hesatdown 
Hi
m:"
She'
sgoodr
ight
?"
Idr
ankmybr
andy
 
Me:
"Sor
ry?
"
Hi
m:"
ImeanKwena,
she'
sgoodr
ight?
"
Ichuckl
edbi
tt
erl
y 
Me:
"I
'm notsur
eIf
oll
ow"
Het
ookmygl
assandst
aredt
hroughi
t 
"Shei
sgoodinsex.Shecandr i
veanymanmad
togetev
ery
thi
ngshewant s.Sheisaquali
fi
ed
orshoul
dIsayexperi
encedprosti
tut
e?"
Ist
oodupandl
eanedmyf
ist
sont
het
abl
e 
Me:"
Shemighthavebeenapr
osti
tut
et oy
oubut
toot
hermensheisawomant ocuddlewit
hnot
somesextoyokay?"
Heputthegl
assont
het
abl
eandst
art
ed
cl
appi
nghands 
"
Tenget
il
e?Youalsofel
lforhercr
ap?
"hesai
d
l
aughi
ngandst
il
lclappi
nghands..
.

Angerki
ckedi
nandIj
ustl
osti
nandt
hrewa
punchacr
osshisf
acemaki
ngpeopl
estop
whatev
ertheywer
edoi
ngandwatchus..
Hestoodupandspi
tvenomousl
yont
hef
loor
si
ncewellhehadbl
oodinhi
smouth.
.
Hewi
pedawayt
hebl
ood 
"Shewasmyslut,nowy
our
sandguesswho'
s
next?
Thet
winny!!
"
Iappr
oachedhim andpunchedhi
m agai
nso
hardt
histi
meImadesur ehelosebal
anceand
fel
lonhisback.
..
Thebouncerr
antousandsavedhimf
rom
get
ti
ngmor epunchesf
rom me.
..
.
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o 

Icr
iedt
il
lIcoul
dn'
tcr
yany
mor
e..
Iwasj
ustgl
ad
Lut
handowast hereformebutallIhatedwas
al
lthepit
yhehadt owardsme..Idi
dn'twant
hi
mt ofeelsor
ryformebutallIwantedwasfor
hi
mt oknowhowmymot her
'shatr
edwas
ki
ll
i
ngmedeepwi thi
n...
.
.
WewereatLA!
qui
zroomsandwasj
ustl
ayi
ng
onbedf
acingt
hecei
li
ng 
Hi
m:"Boi
tumeloI'
m sor
ryforJudgingyou..
I..
I
j
ustwasmadaty oubecausey oudidn'
twanna
t
ell
met hereasonbehi
ndy ourpr
ostit
uti
on"
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:
"I
tsokayLut
hando.
.Ishoul
dhav
etol
dyou"
Hesatupst
rai
ght
 
Him:"
Boit
umeloImeanit,I
'm sor
ryf
orjudgi
ng
you..
Ihavenevert
houghti
t'
ssomethi
ngso
deep"
Hespokei
nhi
sint
imi
dat
ingv
oicet
hatf
orev
er
dr
ovememad
Ial
sosatupst
rai
ght
Me:
"I
tsokayLuu"
Webothchuckl
edwhil
ehebroughtmecl
oseri
n
hi
sar
msf orawarm hug.
..
..
Thehugtur
nedtoaver
ypassi
onat
eki
ssbutmy
phoner
angkil
l
ingt
hevibe 
Hi
m:"
Aren'
tyougonnat
aket
hat?
"
Me:
"They
'l
lcal
lagai
n"
Myhandwrappedaroundhi
sneckbr
ingi
nghi
m
i
nforanot
herpassi
onateki
ss.
.
I
trangagai
nandIgr
oaned 
Hechuckl
ed 
Ist
oodupt
otakei
tinmybag.
.I
twasSf
iso 
Hi
m:"
Aren'
tyouanswer
ing?"
Il
ookedathi
m andswal
l
owedhar
d 
Me:
"I
tsKwena,
I'
ll
tal
ktohert
omor
row"
Hi
m:"
Thenl
etmeanswert
hatf
ory
ou.
..
"
Ist
il
lswal
l
owed 
Me:
"No!
!ImeanI
'
llt
alkt
ohert
omor
row"
Iwentbackt
othebedandputt
hephoneunder
thepi
ll
ow 
Amessagebeeped,
hegav
emeaquest
ioni
ng
l
ook.
..
.

TOBECONTI
NUED 
[
04/
28,
18:
13]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t28
•
•
•
'
Hewhoi sabovehaspromised..
.Hepromised
toloveme, tomotherme, t
ofatherme,to
feedme, bethereformewhennobodyel seis
nowher et
obef oundandmostofal l
toprotect
me. .
.buthehasfail
ed,hehasfai
ledtopr
otect
mef
rom mymot
her
'shat
red!
!'
-
Boi
tumel
o
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Iswal
l
owedhard..Idi
dn'
tknowwher etohideor
event
oruntoorwhatexcusewouldImaket o
makehimfor
getreadi
ngmyt ext
s...
.Ipi
nched
myselfal
i
ttl
e,howcanIbesost upi
d?
"
ActfastBoi
tumel
o.Thi
nk!
!"Myi
nnerv
oice
y
ell
ed 
Him:"
Actual
lynevermind,Ishoul
dnev
eraskt
o
answeryourphone..
Imeani t
snonofmy
busi
nessonwhocal l
sy ouorwhat"
Isi
l
ent
lysi
ghedi
nrel
i
ef 
Me:
"I
tsokay
,ImeanIwoul
ddot
hesamei
fit
wasyourphoner
ingi
ngcount
lesst
imes"
"
Li
ar!
!!
"
Hi
m:"
Sti
l
lI.
..
"
Me:
"Shhh"
Ist
oppedhi
m wi
thmyi
ndexf
inger
.
Me:
"Any
waywher
edi
dwest
op?
"
Hesmi
l
edl
eani
ngcl
oser
Heki
ssedmycheek 
"
Her
e"
Ni
bbl
edmyear
"
Thenher
e"
Tracedhi
stonguewi
thal
i
ttl
ebi
tonbi
tesonmy
kneck 
"
Agai
nher
e"
Thenwr
appedhi
sarm ar
oundmywaistt
obr
ing
metosi
tontopofhi
m whil
efaci
nghi
m 
"
Andher
e"
Hi
swetl
i
psf
inal
l
ymetmi
neanddeepl
yki
ssed.
.
Ourki
sswasfil
ledwit
hsomuchpassi
onand
t
heneedforeachother.
..
Allmypr ostit
utionl
i
fe,Ihaveneversl
eptwith
someonewhomakemewantt hem f
ull
yinsi
de
Me. .
Alltheydi dwastofuckmesohar d,to
penetrat
ei nsidewhil
esti
lldr
ybutwith
Luthando, hechangedev ery
thi
ng..
.
Hi
swetkissesonmyneckandl
eav
ingsof
t
bi
tesher
eandther
e,.
Thewayhishandt
rav
ell
edundermydr
essand
tr
acedov
ermyunderwear.
.
Justthewayheheldmybr east
stogetherand
l
icked,suckedt
hem outl
ikehisli
fedepended
onthem andcir
cledhi
sfi
ngersaroundthem 
Wasenoughf
ormetocl
osemyey
esandmoan
hi
snameoutl
oudi
nvol
untar
y
Idon'
tknowwhenheremov
edbothoutclot
hes
si
ncewellIwasl
osti
naworl
dofpleasur
e..
Butal
lIknowi
s,hel
aidmeont
hebedand
partedmythighs.
.Hishandstracedi nvisi
bleyet
mindblowingpatt
ernsonmyt highs. .
His
tonguepl
ay edonmynav eldownt omy
womanhoodandt henbitemycl it...
Itwasr eal
l
y
anexperi
enceIhavenev erwentt hrough...
Heli
ckedmyclitgoi
ngr
eal
l
yinmywomanhood
andstar
tedeat
ingmeoutt
il
licamei
nhi
s
mouth..
.
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Iwasathome..
.Ideci
dedtogohomeandnever
cal
lLut
handof
oraweekt oseehi
sreact
ion.
..
Iwasintheloungewit
hmyheadset
sinwhil
e
l
eani
ngmyheadont hecouchwi
thmylegson
thet
able..
.
That
omadeherwayi
n..
Ir
emov
edt
heear
phones
Her
:"
Heymommy?
"
Ir
oll
edmyey
es 
Me:
"Whatdoy
ouwant?
"
Shesatont
hecouchopposi
temi
ne 
Her
:"
Ineedt
ogoout?
"
Me:
"Andy
ou'
remebecause?
"
Her
:"
Ineedmoney"
Me:
"I
tsi
nmypur
se"
Sheexci
tedl
yst
oodup 
Her
:"
Yey
!You'
ret
hebestmom ev
er!
"
Me:
"Voet
sek!"
Shewal
kedoutal
lJol
l
y.
.
..
.
Thet
rut
hIs,
That
oismydaught
erbutweshar
e
nobondatall
..Theonl
yt i
meIgettoseeheror
evenhearawordfrom heriswhensheasksf
or
moneyandnothingmor e.
..
Thedoorbel
lrangdi
stur
bingmypeace.
..
Ist
ooduptogoopenandwasmetbyav ery
Cut
eguy..
Notcut
erthanLut
handoofcause 
Hesmi
l
edr
eveal
i
nghi
sdi
mpl
es
Hi
m:"
Hey?
"
Ismi
l
edal
so 
Hi
m:"
I'
m Sf
iso,
ismaRet
habi
l
ein?
"
Me:
"Nobutshe'
l
lbeher
eanyMi
nui
tef
rom now
"
 
Hekeptqui
et 
Imadeawayf
orhi
m 
Me:
"Youcancomei
nandwai
tforher"
Hemadehi
swayi
n 
Me:
"I
'm Boi
neel
obyt
hewaybuty
oucancal
lme
Boi
nny"
Hi
m:"
Nicename"
Ileadt
hewayt
othel
oungewhi
l
ehef
oll
owedi
n
thenof
fer
edhi
m asi
t 
Me:
"CanIgety
ouany
thi
ngt
odr
ink?
"
Hi
m:"
Jui
cewi
l
lbef
inet
hanks"
Ist
oodup,
"
Comi
ngr
ightup"
Iwalkedt
othekit
chenandgothi
m aj
ugof
j
uiceandaglassi
nat r
ey.
..
Ibumpedt
oThato 
Me:
"Al
readyl
eav
ing?
"
Her
:"
Yeah"shecameandki
ssedmycheek
Her
:"
Mightcomebackl
ate.
.Don'
twai
tup"
Me:
"Yeahsur
e"

Ismi
l
edwhenshewal
kedout.
..
"
It
sjustIandt
hecut
eSf
isoi
ntheHouse?
Howaboutmaki nghimreplaceLut
hando
becausecl
earl
yLuthandodoesn'tl
oveme
anymore..
May beImightfi
ndhomewi thSf
iso!
"
Myinnerwomensuggest edandIsmiled
becauseIsupport
edher
I
'm gonnaseducehi
mthenhemi
ghtf
all
inl
ove
wit
hme. ..
•
•
•
#Kwena

Me:"
Bafanay
ouknowshemi
ghtt
ermi
nat
eit
r
ight?"
Hesi
ghed 
Him:"Kwenayoucant alktoher.
.Iknow
Luthando,he'
llkil
lherwit
hhishandsIfhef
inds
outsheterminated"
Me:
"ButIt
hinkLut
handowi
l
lper
suadehernot
t
o"
Hi
m:"
Doy
out
hinkshe'
l
ltel
lhi
m?"
Ishr
uggedmyshoul
der
 
Him:"
Hai
yenoughaboutLut
handoand
Boit
umel
o,Ineedustotal
kaboutyourf
utur
e"
Me:
"Whatf
utur
e?"
Hel
aughed 
Him:"
Ithoughtyou'
recl
everbutIcanseeyou'
re
notdummy!Wehav etofindyousomethi
ng
decenttodoforli
vi
ng"
Igul
ped 
Hi
m:"
Yini
(What)?Youwannabeapr
ost
it
utef
or
t
hewholeofyourl
if
e?"
Me:
"I
'mf
inewi
thwhatI
'
m doi
ngMi
na!
"
Hi
m:"
Hay
iKwena!
Prost
it
ute?
"
Me:
"I
t'
smypr
ofessi
on"
Hechuckl
ed 
Hi
m:"
Soy
ou'
repr
ovi
ngThomasr
ight?
"
"Whatdoy
oumeanI
'
m pr
ovi
ngThomasr
ight
"I
asked 
Hi
m:"
Nev
ermi
nd.
.Ar
en'
tyouhungr
y?"
Me:"
Don'
tignor
emyquesti
onBaf
ana!
Whatdi
d
Thomassayaboutme?"
Him:
"I..
.He.
.Uhm .
.It
hinkhei
sjeal
ousthat
you'
rehangi
ngoutwithme.Hewantsyou"
Ichuckl
ed 
Me:"I
'
m aski
ngfort
helastt
imeorIswearI
'
llcut
yourbal
l
s..Whatdi
dThomassayaboutme? "
Hi
m:"Okayokayokay!Hesaidyou'
remyslut
j
ustl
i
key ouwerehisslutandwil
lbeLut
hando'
s
sl
ut"
Ichuckl
ed 
Me:
"Di
dhesayt
hat?
"
Hi
m:"
Clear
ly"
Istoodupfr
om t
hef
loorsincewell
wehav e
beenhavi
ngsexont
hef l
oorandjustcuddl
ed
there
Me:
"I
'm pay
inghi
m av
isi
t"
Hehel
dmyhand 
Hi
m:"
No!No!No!
"
Iey
edhi
m whi
l
erai
singmyey
ebr
ow 
Hi
m:"
Gir
lyoudon'
ti
nti
midat
eme.
."
It
ookhi
srobeandwor
eitt
henwor
emy
sl
i
pper
s..
Hi
m:"
Real
l
yKwena?
"
Me:
"Iwannashowhi
m asl
ut"
Iwalkedtot
heensui
tbathr
oom wi
thhi
m
fol
l
owi ngmeli
keapuppet.
.
Ii
gnor
edhim.
.I
fThomasthi
nkshecan
badmout
hmethenhehasfi
l
ledhi
sdeathf
orm.
Hegott
ir
edfrom beggi
ngmeandwal kedout
l
eavi
ngmeinsidetheensui
tbuthedi
dt he
unbel
iev
abl
e, hel
ockedmei
nsi
det
he
bathr
oom .
..
Ihi
tthedoor
 
"
Baf
anav
ulaLanawena!
!(
openher
e)"
..
.

TOBECONTI
NUED 
[
04/
28,
18:
14]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t29

'
Nomat terhowhardItryt
oconvincemyself
thatshewil
lonedaystandinf
rontofthewhole
worldandshout"t
hisi
smydaught er!
".
..I
tget
s
hardbecauseherhatr
edtowar
dsmegr ows
dail
y'
-
Boi
tumel
o
•
•
•
#Kwena

Wor
kwor
kwor
kwor
k!!
!
"
Twer
ktwer
ktwer
ktwer
ktwer
k!!
" 
Ist
oppedt
hemusi
c 
"
Pssh,
Ist
il
lhat
ethi
s"
Baf
aal
aughed 
Hi
m:"Howcanyounothat
eitwheny
out
wer
k
i
nst
eadofwork?"
Irol
ledmyey
eswhi
l
ethrowingmysel
font
he
couchandl
ayi
ngmyheadthere..
.
.
..
.
.
..
..
Iwassti
ll
atBafana'spl
ace.
ThankGod
Ret
habi
le(Boit
u'smom )hadgivenal
lofusfi
ve
daysof
fsincewellourwor
kplacewasfull
on
poli
ceoffi
cer
sinandoutAppar ent
lythe
communi t
ywasjustti
redofprosti
tut
esand
Druglor
dssoithappenedthatthepolicehadt
o
beinvol
ved!!
.
..
.
Backtothestor
y .Baf
anaopenedt
he
Hennesseybott
le 
Hi
m:"
Iwannaseey
ougetdr
unkt
oday!
"
Ir
oll
edmyey
esagai
n 
Me:
"Idon'
tgetdr
unk,
I
'm notaki
dphel
ami
na"
Hecur
ledhi
sli
pmaki
ngmel
augh 
Hi
m:"Youshoul
dgowearsomet
hing,
you'
re
gi
vi
ngmeaboner"
Ichuckled,
Iwaswear i
ngmylacepanti
esand
matchingbraonl
y..
Itwasj
usthotforcl
othes 
Me:
"I
'mf
inet
hisway"
Hi
m:"
ThenI
'
llchowy
out
hewhol
eday"
Il
aughed 
Me:"
AndI'
m gett
ingchowedt
hewhol
eday
ev
erydaysodon'
tthi
nkI'
ll
bescar
ed!
"
Hel
ookedatmei
ndi
sbel
i
ef 
Di
dthatcomeouti
nabadway?
Hi
m:"
Real
l
ynowKwena?
"
Il
ookedathim andgulpedt
heHennesseyasan
excuseofnotanswer
inghim 
Hi
m:"
Soy
ouenj
oybei
ngapr
ost
it
ute?
"
Ikeptqui
et 
Hest
oodup
"
WOW !!
"That'
swhatheonl
ysai
dbef
ore
wal
ki
ngout..
.
Il
i
ter
all
yhi
tmymout
h 
"Di
dyoureal
l
yhavet
obet
raymel
i
ket
hat?
"I
askedmymouth
.
..
Aknockont
hedoorcamet
hrough.
.Ij
ustst
ood
upinthatLacepant
iesandwalkedt
othe
ki
tchentoopenforwhoevert
hatwasknocki
ng.
.
Itwassomegrannyinf
ashi
onandhadan
adorabl
ebabygi
rli
nhand..
.
"Di
dyoureal
l
yhavetoopent
hedoorwhi
l
e
naked?
"Sheasked 
Me:
"Hel
l
otoy
out
ooandhowcanIhel
pyou?
"
Shejustpushedmet
othesi
deandwel
comed
hersel
fin..
Whatt
hef
uck?
!!
!?
Shet
urnedt
olookatme 
Her
:"
Andungubani
wena(
whoar
eyou)
?"
Il
ookedatherandal
mostl
aughed 
Me:
"Soyoudeci
det
ocomeher
eandaskme
whoam I?
"
Shechuckl
edbi
tt
erl
y 
Her:
"I
'l
ltaket
hatasyouareBafana'
sgir
lf
ri
end
andifyouarethenhehasnotasteatal
l"
Ikeptqui
et 
Shelookedatmefr
om headtotoeandshook
herheadwhil
eherl
ipscur
ledi
ndigust
 
Her
:"I
fIwereyou,Iwoul
dn'
tshowmybodyt
o
any
one, i
tsugl
y..

Angerj
ustcr eepedinmakingmaki ngmeforget
ali
tt
leaboutt hebabyshehadi nhandand
pi
ckedagl assthathadwat eronthehi
ghtable
andsplashedwat eronherface 
Her
:"
Whatt
hehel
l
??!
!!
"Sheshout
edi
nanger
 
"
Dar
ecal
lmeugl
yI'
l
ldoj
ustmor
ethant
hat
!"
.
..
Baf
anacamer
ushi
ngi
n..
.Hesawt
hiswoman 
Hi
m:"
Mom !
Whatbr
ingsy
ouher
e?"
Me:
"Mom ?
"Iaskedi
nashockedmanner
 
Baf
anasawherwetbl
ouse 
"
Andwhat
'sgoi
ngonher
e?"
Heasked 
Ilookedaroundforahol
etobur
ymysel
fbut
therewasn't.
..
.
Ireal
lydidn'
tthi
nkshe'st
hemother.
..
Theydon'
t
l
ookal i
keatallandthatwomanhasthatXhosa
accentwhi l
ethetwi
nshastheSwaione..
..
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

"
DearLor
d..
."Isi
ghed 
"Forgiv
eme. .
.Forgiv
emef ornott
el l
i
ng
Luthandoaboutt hepregnancy..
LordIwish
therewasany thingIwoul ddobutt herei
sn'
t
any. .
Thereismom wgi expectsmet o
prosti
tuteforherandIcannotdot hatwhil
e
pregnantandther
eisLut
handowhomi ghtki
l
l
mei fhefi
ndsoutIter
minat
ed...
Lor
dplease
guideme. .
Showmet hecor
rectway..
"Isi
ghed
again 
"
Amen!
"Iendedt
hepr
ayer
..
Ist
oodf
rom t
hef
loorandsatont
hebed.
.
That
omadeherwayi
n 
Her
:"Ar
eyouokay?
"
Il
ookedather
 
Me:
"Uhh?
"
Shesatont
hebedal
so 
Her:"
Nevermind.
..
Sother
e'samom daughter
sessi
onatschool
,whydon'ty
oucomewi t
hme
?"
Me:
"AndBoi
neel
o?"
Her
:"
Youknowwe-
"
"
Don'
tfi
nisht
hat,I
'l
lcomewit
hyoubutonl
yif
y
outel
lwhatit
'sal
labout?
"
Her
:"
Yey
!I'
l
lshowy
out
heEmai
lfr
om school
 
Me:
"Sur
e"
Ist
oodup 
Me:
"Let
'
sgot
othepar
kforani
cecr
eam "
Sheal
sost
oodup 
Her
:"
Andt
otal
kri
ght
?"
Inoddedwhi
l
ewal
ki
ngoutandshef
oll
owed
me..
•
•
•
#Sf
iso

Ty
rawalkedinf
rom t
heshoweri
nonl
yat
owel
wr
appedaroundhi
swaist.
..
Helookedsocut
eandhi
spacksandt
heVon
hi
storsowentwel
lwi
thhi
sbody 
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
begoi
ngoutt
oni
ght"
Icont
inuedt
ypi
ngt
hemessage 
Hi
m:"
Didy
out
alkt
oBoi
tumel
o?"
Isi
ghed 
Me:
"Sheai
n'
ttaki
ngmycal
l
s"
Hel
ookedatme 
Hi
m:"
Sfi
soar
eyousur
eyouwannadot
his?
"
Ishr
ugged 
Hecameandsatbesi
deme.
.
Hi
m:"
We'
l
lgett
hrought
hist
oget
herokay?
"
Me:"
Myf at
heriscomi ngtoCapeTowni nafew
weeksandwant stomeetmywomenwhi leI
knowIdon'thavefeeli
ngforgi
rl
satallandyou
wannatell
mewe' l
l getthr
oughthi
stogether
?"

Hehuggedmyshoul
der
Hi
m:"
Aski
esbabe"
Isi
ghedheav
il
y..
.
.
.,
.
..
..
..
..
..
.
I'
m gayandmyf atherpromisedthatifhefinds
outI'
m st
ill
gaythenhellshallbr
eakloose. .
.I
knowImi ghthur
tBoitumeloatlaterstagebut
thetr
uthisIcannotaffordtolosemyf at
her
andIdon'twannaLoseTy raneither.
..
.
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina

Il
ookedatShi
rl
eyagainandIcoul
dseefeari
n
herey
eseventhoughshetr
iedtohi
dei
t.
. 
Me:"I
'l
ldothecountdownandi
fyoudon'
t
deci
dethenI'
ll
decidefory
ou"
Shekeptqui
et 
Me:
"Ten.
..
nine.
.ei
g-"
Her
:"
Okayokay!
Let
'sdoi
t!"
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:
"Thenaftert
his,
Ipr
omi
sewe'
regoi
ngback
t
oSouthAfr
ica"
Her:
"Andthat'
sthereasonwhyI'
m helpingy
ou
wit
ht hi
sone..ButIwannaassur
ey outhatt
he
SmithBarneyreser
vesain'
taneasyplaceto
st
ealf r
om "
Il
ookedatherandl
aughed 
Me:"
You'r
esay
ingt
hisbecausey
ou'
rescar
ed
r
ight?"
Her
:"
I'
m notscar
ed"
Me:"
Okay.
.ThenI'
llgetev
eryt
hingdoneand
makecont
actswithpeoplewhocouldleadus
t
hrought
hatplace..
Weneedt hosediamonds!
"
Shekeptqui
et.
.
Igul
pedt
heBl
ackv
int
agev
odkaonemor
eti
me 
.
..
..
TOBECONTI
NUED 
[
04/
28,
18:
15]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t30

'
Thewor dbrokenisanunderstatementofhowI
am deepwithi
n...
Icannotevenbeginto
descr
ibewhatmymot her
'shatredhasdoneto
me.Buttrustme,thescarsaredeeper.
..
.'
-
Boi
tumel
o
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Wecoul
dn'tgot
otheparkt
heprevi
ousdaywi
th
That
obecauseSf
isocameandspentt
heday
wi
thme.
.
Thet
rut
his, Ienj
oyhavi
ngSfisoar
oundandhe
i
sagentl
eman. .
Heunderst
andsmeandlist
en
tome,unl
ikeLuthando.
Myf eeli
ngsf orLuthandoar estr
ong, Ihave
neverhadsuchf eeli
ngssoany oneexceptfor
him. Hislooks,howhet ouchesmej ust
everythi
ngabouthi m sendshi v
ersdownmy
spine.Buttheonlyproblem aboutusi s,Iam
scaredofhi m. .
Scaredinawayt hatIalway
s
fi
ndmysel fbit
ingmynai l
swhenev erIwanna
tal
kt ohim orsowhat ever...
.
..
.
.
..
Iwokeupinthemor ningandbathethenwore
si
mpleout
fit.
.Iwasgoi ngtoBafana'
ssurger
y
..
Mybloodtestresult
swer eoutandIwas
get
ti
ngbookedinf oranaborti
ontoday.
.
That
owal
kedi
ntheki
tchenwhi
l
eIwashav
ing
breakf
ast.
Iwasjustfor
cingmysel
fsel
ftoeat
butthener
vousnesscouldn'
tal
l
owme 
That
o:"
Mor
ning?
"
Me:
"Sur
e..
Goi
ngt
oschool
?"
Shenoddedwhi
l
ejoi
ningme 
Her
:"
Andwher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
"
Me:
"Tot
hedoct
or,
myr
esul
tsar
eout
"
Shegul
ped 
Her
:"
Okay"
Myphoner
ang,
Icheckedi
tandi
twasKwena
cal
l
ing.
.
Il
ookedatThat
o
"
Ihav
etot
akeThi
sandI
'
llseey
oul
aterokay?
"
Shenodded.
"
Munt
uzawam !
"
Ianswer
edwhi
l
ewal
ki
ngout
 
Her
:"
Pat
jut
ju!
"
Il
aughed 
Me:
"I
tsst
il
lear
lyf
ort
hat"
Shechuckl
ed 
Her
:"
Iknow,
Wher
eyouat?
Let
'
sdobr
eakf
ast.
"
Me:
"Ughh.
.Iwon'
tbeav
ail
abl
eti
l
l10:
00-
10:
30"
Her
:"
Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
"
Me:
"Tot
heBaf
ana,
myr
esul
tsar
eout"
Shekeptqui
et 
Her
:"
Boi
tumel
odon'
tter
minat
eit"
WasIr
eal
l
ytal
ki
ngt
oKwena?
Me:
"What?
"Iwasshockedshewoul
dsayt
hat
 
Her:
"Iknow,Iknow!...Babyyouhaven'
ttol
d
Lut
handoaboutt hi
s. Iknowthati
fyoudohe
wil
lsupportyouthroughital
l.Hewon'tl
etyou
gothroughthepregnancyalone"
Me:
"KwenaI
-"
Her
:"
Boi
tumel
opl
ease"
Me:
"Whataboutmom ?
"
Her:
"Lut
handowill
takecar
eofher.
Yout
old
hi
m everyt
hing"
Ikeptqui
et,
Isawacabappr
oachi
ng 
Me:
"Ihav
etogo"
Her
:"
Boi
-"
Ihunguponher.
.Iknowshemeantwel
lbutI
cannotmakemymot herhat
ememorethan
shedoesnow..
.
•
•
•
#Kwena

Imighthat
echildr
enbuti
fIfal
lpr
egnantIknow
onethi
ngforsurethatmyl
oveforchi
ldr
enwill
beuncondi
tional.
Igr
ewupunloved,hat
ed,nott
akencar
eofby
myownparentsandIwoul
dhatetosee
Boi
tumel
odoingthatt
oherown..
Achil
disa
bl
essi
ng.
..
IcheckedLut
hando'
snumber
s..
.
Godfor
givemef
orwhatI
'
m aboutt
odobutI
hav
etoit 
Heanswer
edi
timmedi
atel
y 
Me:
"Lut
hando?
"
Hi
m:"
Kwena?
..
Howar
eyou?"
Isi
ghed 
Me:
Good..
Iwouldlikeust
omeetbutI'
m af
rai
d
i
twi
llbet
oolat
ef orwhatIwannat
ell
you"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tunder
stand"
Me:
"Lut
handoi
tsBoi
tumel
o"
Hi
m:"
Boit
umelo?
 I
ssheokay?
Whathappened
t
oher?Wher
eareyou?"
Me:
"Cal
m down.
..
Shei
sokay.
"
Icoul
dhearhi
m si
gh 
Me:"
Luthandopromi
semet hataft
ertel
l
ingy
ou
t
hisyouwon'tsnapordoanythi
ngstupi
d"
Hi
m:"
Stupi
d?What
'swr
ong?
"
Me:
"Lut
handoBoi
tumel
oispr
egnant"
Hi
m:"
Shei
spr
-"
"
All
owmet
ofi
nish.
."Ii
nter
rupt
ed 
"Shefoundoutaf ewdaysbackbuttodayshe'
s
goingtoconfir
mt hengoforascan..
Youare
theonlypersonsheeversl
eptwith
unprotect
ed"
Hi
m:"
Iknow.Sot
her
eisapossi
bil
i
tyt
hati
t
mi
ghtbemine?"
Me:
"Sur
elyi
tsy
our
s..
.But-
"
Isi
ghed 
"Shedoesn'
twantanyt
hingt
odowit
hthe
pregnancy.
Sheisscar
edofhermot
her
"I
conti
nued 
Hi
m:"
Whycoul
dn'
tshet
ell
me?
"
Me:
"Shei
sscar
edLut
hando.
."
Him:"
I'
m sti
l
lplanningonwhatI '
l
ldot
oher
mother..
Iwannapuni shthatwoman.Iwanther
tocur
sethedayshegav ebirt
htoBoi
tumelo.I
wannachopheral iveandmakeherwatchher
bodypart
sbeingf edtomydogs! "
Me:
"Woah!Idon'
twannahermor
e"
Hechuckl
ed 
Me:"AndLut
handothereasonwhyI'
m cal
l
ingi
s
becausesheisoutt
oterminat
eit
"
Hi
m:"
Shewhat
?"
Me:
"Exact
ly"
Him:"Whichsur
ger
y?"
hesoundedso
authorat
ive 
Me:"
Luthandopromi
semey
ouwon'
tdo
any
thingstupi
d!"
"
Kwena!
"Hewar
ned 
Me:
"Ba-Baf
ana'
ssur
ger
y"
Hechuckl
edev
il
ly
 
Hi
m:"
SoBaf
anaknew?
"
Ikeptqui
et 
Hehunguponmy
 
It
hrewmyphoneont
hecouch 
"
God!
Whathav
eIdone?
"
Iquickl
ystoodupwhent hethoughtof
Luthandogoingther
etocausescenebeati
n..
I
woreacardiganandsleeper
st henwal
kedout
tocatchacabt othesur
gery.
..
•
•
•
#Baf
ana

Me:
"Yourr
esul
tsar
eback"
Isi
gheddeepl
y 
Me:
"Opent
hem andt
ell
me"
Heopenedt
heenv
elope.
Andwentt
hrought
hepaper.
Hesmi
l
ed.
Myhear
tbeati
ncr
eased 
Hi
m:"
Youar
epr
egnant
!"
Me:"
Iknow,sowhencanIcomebackf
oran
abor
ti
on?"
Heey
edme 
Hi
m:"
Boi
tumel
opl
easedon'
tdoi
t"
Me:"
Baf
anayou'
resupposedtobedoct
ori
n
her
enotmybabydaddy'stwi
nbrot
her"
Hi
m:"
Doesheknow?
"
Ishookmyhead 
Me:
"Baf
anapl
ease"
Hest
oodupandwal
kedt
ohi
sdr
awer
t
hencamebackwi
thadocument
/paperi
n
hand 
Hi
m:"
Ineedyoutogot
hrought
hist
henf
il
li
nthe
f
ormforanabor
ti
on"
Hehandedi
ttomeandIt
ooki
t..
.
Iwentt
hroughi
t..
Thedoorf
lungopenedandLuthandowal
kedi
n
..
Myheartbeati
ncreasedi
nst
antly.
..
Hewasinnavybluesl
i
mf i
tsui
tsandy
ouwoul
d
seehewasgoingtowork.
Hemadehi
swayi
n..
Baf
ana:
"Luu?
"
Luthandol
ookedathi
mt henatmeandhisey
es
l
andedont hedocumenti
nmyhands. .
He
snatchedi
tfr
om meandwentt hr
oughit
 
Hi
m:"
Mmh?
Ter
minat
ionoft
hepr
egnancy
?"
Wekeptqui
et 
Hel
ookedatBaf
ana 
"
Soyouknewi
twasmybabyandcoul
dn'
ttel
l
me?
"
Baf
ana:
"Doct
or-
pat
ienti
nfor
mat
ionr
emai
nsi
n
her
eLut
hando!"
Hechuckl
ed 
Lut
hando:
"OhIsee"
Iwasevenshaki
ngi
nfear.
.Mypal
mswer
e
evenweti
nsweat..
Hi
m:"
Boi
tumel
ocanwet
alk?
"
Ishookmyheadno 
Hel
ookedatBaf
ana
Hi
m:"
Baf
anacany
ougi
veusamoment?
"
Il
ookedatBaf
anaandshookmyheadno 
Hi
m:"
Baf
anaIwon'
trepeatmysel
f!"
Baf
anast
oodup 
Iknewthatremai
ningi
ntheroom al
onewi
th
him wasn'
tagoodideaatal
l.
..
..
TOBECONTI
NUED 

[
04/
28,
18:
19]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t31

'
Myshoulder
scarr
yalotofburdens.
.Burdens
whi
chareheavyofmyshouldersandneedonly
apar
enttoli
ftt
hem of
fmebutherhat red
t
owardsmekeepsherawayf r
om me'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Lut
hando
Sheseemedsoscaredbutmanagedtopull
her
sel
ftoget
herandhi
dethefearshehad.
..
IsatonthecouchasIwat
chedhert
ryt
ohi
de
thefearshehad

Me:
"I
'm wai
ti
ngf
oranexpl
anat
ion"
Her
:"
Whi
chex
planat
ion?
"
Ichuckl
edbi
tt
erl
y 
Me:
"Soy
oudon'
towemeanyexpl
anat
ion?
"
Shekeptqui
et
Me:
"Boi
tumel
oyou'
ret
ermi
nat
ingmybaby
?"
Shechuckl
ed 
Her
:"
Yourbaby?
Whot
oldy
oui
t'
syourbaby?
"
Me:
"Don'
ttestmypat
ience!
"
Her:
"Isl
eepwi
tht
housandsofmenandwhoare
youorwhatar
eyoutothi
nkthi
sbabyi
syour
s?"
Ist
oodupandwal
kedt
owar
dsher
 
Me:
"Agai
ndontt
estmypat
ience!"
Shest
oodupandt
ookherbag 
Her
:"
Idon'
thav
eti
mef
ort
his!
!"
Iaggr
essi
vel
ygr
abbedherar
m 
Me:"
Iwon'
tmi
ndbeatingtheshi
toutt
ayouin
her
eify
oucont
inueacti
ngsobitchyt
owards
me 
Her
:"
Lut
handowhatt
hef
uckdoy
ouwantf
rom
me?"
Me:
"Tot
ell
met
het
rut
h"
Her
:"
Okayy
ouwantt
het
rut
h?"
Ikeptqui
et 
Her
:"
I'
m pregnantandi
tsnoty
ourbaby. .
Iam
t
erminat
ingitwit
horwit
houtyourconcern"
.
.
Angercreepedin.
.Ipinnedhertothewall
and
squeezedhernecktightl
y..
Shewasf i
ndi
ngit
hardtobreathasIstrangl
edtheli
feoutofher
 
"
Evenifi
tsnotmine,Isweari
fyouter
minat
eit,
I
'
llal
soter
minateyouareweclear?
"
Shekeptquietasshefoughtt
omov
emyhand
awayfrom herneck..
.
"
I'
ll
kil
lyouBoi
tumelo!I
'
llki
l
lyoui
fyoudar
eki
l
l
t
hatchil
dareweclear?"
Iy
ell
ed 
Shenoddedr
epeat
edl
y 
Iletgoofherandwatchedhercur
l hersel
fon
thefloorasshehadtear
sinhereyeswhi l
e
holdingontoherneck..
.
..
.Ij
ustwantedtotal
ktoherbutshemadeit
hard..
Ifshereal
l
ywantstoterminat
eitt
hen
she'l
ll
earnthehardway.
..
Iopenedthedoorandwaswel
comedbyKwena
rushi
ngin..
ShesawBoitumel
osobbi
ngandr
ant
oKneel
in
fr
ontofher
 
"
Lut
handowhathav
eyoudone?
"
Igav
eheradeadst
are 
Her
:"
Youwer
enotsupposet
omanhandl
eher"
Il
ookedatheragai
n 
Me:"Tel
lyourfri
endnottoter
minat
ethat
pregnancybecauseifshedoes,
shemustmake
sureIwon'teverseeheragai
nbecausei
fIdo,
j
ailhasalwaysbeenmysecondhome"
Wit
hthatbei
ngsai
d,Iwal
kedoutl
eav
ingt
hem
t
onurseeachot
her 
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Isear
chedf ormycarkey
sbutIcoul
dn'
tfi
nd
them .
.Ihadtur
nedmybedroom t
oamess
.Mom madeherwayi n 
Her
:"
Looki
ngf
ort
his?
"
Shesai
dshowi
ngmycarkey
s 
Me:
"Yeah,
wher
edi
dyougett
hem ?
"
Her
:"
Youl
eftt
hem i
ntheki
tchenl
astni
ght"
"
Oh?
"
Shesatont
hebed 
Her
:"
Howi
sLuu?
"
Isi
ghedwhi
l
ejoi
ningheront
hebed 
Me:
"Hei
sokay"
Shegav
emeaquest
ioni
ngl
ook 
Me:
"Hedoesn'
tl
oveme"
Her
:"
Whatmakesy
ousayt
hat?
"
Me:
"Icanseet
hroughhi
m"
Sher
ubbedmyback 
Her:
"I
'm surehewil
llov
eyou,justbegl
adhi
s
motherlovesyoubecausei
nthatwayhewil
lbe
f
orcedtol oveyout
oo"
Ikeptqui
et 
Her:
"Speaki
ngoft
hat,
hermot
hercal
l
ed.
.Her
andLuthandowi
ll
beheret
omorr
ow"
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:
"Real
l
y?"
Sheal
sosmi
l
ed 
Her
:"
Yes"
.
..
.
ThatshowsthatLut
handostil
lneedsme,it
showsthathewasandstil
li
smi ssingmesi
nce
Il
eft.
.Ipl
ayedwithmyfi
ngers 
Mom:
"What
'swr
ongnow?"
Me:"
Ithi
nkImi
ghthav
efal
l
enf
orsomeone
el
se"
Shel
ookedatme 
Me:
"I
tsSf
iso,
hewor
ksatEskom as-
"
Mom:
"Woah!Sf
iso?No!Idon'
tappr
ovey
our
r
elat
ionshi
patal
l!
"
Me:
"Butma-
"
Her:
"NoBoineel
o,Sfi
soisn'
tthemarr
iagetype
..
Hei snotamany oucanassoci
ateyourself
wit
h"
Ikeptqui
et 
Shest
oodup 
Her
:"Justf
ocusonyourr
elati
onshipwit
h
Lut
handoandstayt
hehellawayfrom Sf
iso!
"
Shewal
kedoutaf
tersay
ingt
hat.
.
Shel
eftmei
nquest
ions 
"
Whothehel
li
sSfi
soandwhydoesshewant
met
ostayawayf
rom hi
m?"
Thosewer
ethequest
ions!
!!
..
•
•
•
#Kwena

Wewer enowi nt heresr oom .Boitumelohas

beensleepingsi ncewegotbackf rom the
surgery.Shecriedt il
lshecoul dn'
tcryany more
andIdon' tbl
ameherbecauseoft hesituati
on
sheisin. Hermot herwi lll
i
t er
all
ykill
herifshe
fi
ndsoutshei spr egnantandont heotherhand
Luthandowi l
lalsoki llherifsheterminates..
.

Ist
oodbyt hecupboar
dswithateamuginhand
j
ustlostindeept
houghtsunt
ilaknockont
he
doorbroughtmebacktoreal
it
y..
"
Comei
n!"
Ishout
ed 
ThedooropenedandBaf
anawal
kedi
n 
Hi
m:"Hey?
"
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:
"Hi
"
Hemadehi
swayi
nandhadadodgybagi
n
hand 
Hehandedi
ttome 
Hi
m:"Lut
handosai
dIshoul
dbr
ingy
ouguy
s
l
unch"
It
ooki
t 
"
Thanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
Howi
sshe?
"
Me:
"Shewi
l
lgett
her
e,st
il
lsl
eepi
ng"
Het
ookmymugandsi
ppedt
hecof
fee 
Hi
m:"
Soy
out
heonet
hatt
oldLut
hando?"
Il
ookeddown,Ij
ustfel
tgui
l
tyf
ordoi
ngt
hatt
o
myfri
endact
uall
ysi
ster
 
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
taket
hatasy
es.
.Idon'
tbl
amey
ou"
Me:
"Ij
ustwant
edt
ost
opherf
rom t
ermi
nat
ing"
Myv
oicewasbr
eaki
ng 
Hegotcl
oserashewel
comed 
Mei
nforahug 
Hi
m:"
Shhh"
"
I'
mjustgl
adshedidn'
tproceedwit
ht he
t
ermi
nati
on"Ispokest
il
li
nhi sembrace 
Hi
m:"
Yeahey"
Westay
edinthatposi
ti
ont
il
lsomeonecl
ear
ed
t
hei
rthr
oat.
..
"
That
'st
oocosy"i
twasBoi
tumel
o 
Isl
i
ght
lypushedBaf
anaandwel
aughed 
Me:
"You'
reawake?
"
Her:
"Asy
oucansee,
Mom cal
l
ed.
Ihav
etogo
home"
Me:
"Whatdoesshewant?
"
Her:
"Appar
ent
ly 
Boineelo'
sboyf
ri
endand
motherinl
awarecomi ngforavi
sitt
omorr
ow
soshewantsmet ocleanthehousewhi
lethey
ar
egoingoutforshopping"
Me:
"Theymustbespeci
al"
Her
:"
Ver
y"shel
ookedatBaf
ana
Her
:"I
'
m sor
ryf
or-
"
Bafana:
"No.I
'mtheonethatshoul
dbe
apologi
singf
orLut
hando'sbehavi
ourI
'
m sor
ry"
Shesmi
l
ed 
Her
:"
It
sokay.
.guy
sletmebounce"
Baf
ana:
"Wecandr
ivey
ou"
Her
:"
Don'
twor
ry,
Sfi
soi
sal
readywai
ti
ngf
orme
"
Shewal
kedbackt
othebedr
oom 
Baf
anal
ookedatme 
"Hai
y,it
snonofy
ourbusi
ness!
"Isai
dgi
vi
ng
him myhand 
Hel
aughed.
..

TOBECONTI
NUED 
[
04/
28,
18:
20]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t32

'
Iinf
lictedsel
ftortur
e, IwantedtodieandI
neededhert ostopmeandt ellmehow
i
mpor t
antIwas. I
nsteadherhatredtowar
dsme
keptherawayf rom meandl etmehi demy
scarsandbecameobl ivi
oustoev er
yone'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Iwastry
ingsohar dtomov eallmyf ocusand
mindtothecleaningbutitwasjusthard,I
coul
dn'
tstopthinkingaboutLuthandoandhow
hemightkil
lmei fIter
minatethepregnancy.
.
Mom ,
Boi
neel
oandThat
ower
eoutdoi
ng
shoppi
ngwhi
l
eSf
isowashel
pingmecl
eant
he
house.
..
Hewasbeingagent
lemanandhonest
lyIl
oved
t
hatabouthi
m..
.
.
..
"I
'
llneedust
omov ethi
scouchsowecan
sweepunderthem "
Icont
inueddust
ingthecoff
eet
abl
ewhichIhad
beendusti
ngforthepast30mi
nui
tes
"
Babe?
"
*
*Si
l
ence*
*
Hi
m:"
Toeart
hBoit
umel
o!!"
Heshout
edbr
ingi
ng
mebackt
oreal
i
ty..
Me:
"Uhheh?
"
Hegav
emeadeadst
are 
Isatdown,t
herewasnouseofcl
eani
ngwhi
l
e
mymi ndwasn'
tther
eatal
l.
.
Heal
soj
oinedme.
.
Hi
m:"
What
'swr
ong?
"
Me:
"Wi
th?
"
Him:
"Don'
tpl
ayme,yourmi
ndisn'
ther
eatal
l
andyou'
ref
ail
i
ngdi
small
ytohi
deit"
Isi
gheddeepl
y 
Me:
"I
'm okaySf
iso,
justt
ir
ed"
"Letmemassagey ourfeet"hesai
dtaki
ngmy
feetandplaci
ngthem onhisthi
ghsandgoi
ngi
n
onav erysmoothmassage 
Hi
m:"
How'
sthat?
"
Icl
osedmyey
esenj
oyi
ngt
hef
eel
i
ng
Me:
"You'
regood"
Hi
m:"
Nowt
ell
me,
what
'sbot
her
ingy
ou?
"
Iopenedmyey esagai
nandmov
edmyf
eet
awayfrom hi
m 
Me:
"Let
'
sfi
nishup"
Hehel
dmyhand
Hi
m:"
Tal
ki
nghel
psy
ouknow?
"
Isi
ghed 
Me:
"Sf
isoI
'
m pr
egnant
!"
Hekeptquiet.
..
Icoul
dn'
texactl
yreadouthi
s
expressi
onorr
esponsetowardswhatIhadjust
tol
dhi m 
Hi
m:"
I.
.Who'
sthef
ather?
"
Ikeptquietf
oramomentbutl yi
ngtohim
wasn'tgonnahel
patal
l .
.Ial
readyt
oldhimthe
tr
uthsoIneededtofi
nishwhatIstart
ed..
"I
tsLut
hando,
Lut
handoTenget
il
e..
Theowner
of-
"
"OfLA!quiz!
.Thewellknowngangsterwhohad
beenInj ai
lformorethan4yearsformurder
ing
hisuncle"hefini
shedthesent
encebycutti
ng
mine 
Inoddedbutt
hej
ail
par
t,Idi
dn'
tknowi
t 
Hi
m:"
Yoh!
..
.IknowIsai
dIl
i
key
oubutdoeshe
know?ordoy
ouknowwhathei
scapabl
eof
doing?
"
Me:"That'
sthepoint,
Idi
dn'
ttel
lhi
m and
someonedi d..
NowIwanttotermi
nateandhe
thr
eatenedtokil
lmeifIdo"
Hi
m:"
Andy
oushoul
dtakehi
sthr
eat
sser
iousl
y"
Il
ookedathi
m 
Me:
"Youseem t
oknowhi
m mor
ethanIdo"
Him:
"Letmej
ustputi
tashi
shi
stor
yisn'
tgood
atal
l
"
"
Mmmh.
..
Aren'
tyousupposedt
obemadat
me?
"
Iasked 
Hi
m:"
I'
m notsur
eIf
oll
ow?
"
Ir
aisedmyey
ebr
ows
"Ijusttol
dyouI'
m pr
egnantwi
thsomeone
else'schi
ld?"
Hi
m:"
Oh.
.t
hat!Youcanst
il
lkeept
hebaby
..
RememberIaskedyoutocomewit
hmeso
wecanst
artanewlif
ethenwe'
ll
rai
sethechi
l
d
t
oget
her"
Iswal
l
owedmybr
eat
h 
Hi
m:"
Thi
nkabouti
t!"
Hest
oodup 
H:
"I
'l
lgogetussomet
hingt
odr
ink"
Hewal
kedout!
Somet
hingaboutSf
isodi
dntmakesenseatal
l
...
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

Ipacedallaroundtheroom .Iwassti
l
lfuri
ous
atBoit
umel omostlyatBafanafornottel
l
ingme
aboutthepregnancy 
Him:
"YouknowIcoul
dlosemylicencefor
shar
ingmypati
ent
spersonal
inf
ormat i
onwit
h
you!
"
Ist
oppedandev
iley
edhi
m 
Me:
"Ar
eyouf
orr
eal
rightnow?
"
Hi
m:"Lut
handowhycantyoubehappyy
ou
f
oundoutinti
methanbit
ingof
fmyheadoff
?!
"heshout
ed 
"
AndifIdidn'
t?Youwouldhav
etermi
natedi
t
r
ight?
!"Ishoutedback.
.Mom madeherwayi
n 
Her
:"
What
'sal
lthi
snoi
sekant
iNi
na?
!"
Webot
hkeptqui
et 
Her
:"
I'
mtal
ki
ngt
oyou!
"
Shel
ookedatmet
henatBaf
ana 
Bafana:
"Heismadthathi
sgi
rl
fr
iendi
spr
egnant
andIdidn'
ttel
lhi
m"
Me:"
Reall
ynowBafana?Doy
our
eal
l
yhav
eto
beabit
chaboutt
his?"
Mom:
"Boi
neel
oispr
egnant?
"
Ir
oll
edmyey
es 
"
Ther
ewegoagai
n!"Ispoke 
Mom:"
Idon'
tunder
stand!
"Shel
ookedat
Baf
anaagai
n 
"
Whoisthe"gi
rl
fr
iend"t
hehei
mpr
egnat
ed?
"
Sheasked.
.
Baf
anal
ookedatmeandsawthedeadstar
eI
gav
ehim anddeci
dedt
oShr
ughisshoul
der
Mom:
"Lut
hando!"
It
ookmycarkey
s 
"
I'
m goi
ngout!
"
Shesnat
chedt
hem awayf
rom me
Her:"
YeywenaLut hando!Youwil
lneverwal
k
outonmewhi l
eI'
m st i
l
ltal
king.
.Whatdoyou
sayaboutBoi
neelobecauseclear
lyi
tsnother
thaty
ouimpregnate"
Il
aughedatt
hest
atementt
henmant
aineda
st
rai
ghtf
aceagai
n 
"
Idon'
tl
oveBoi
neel
o?"
Ispoke 
Mom l
aughedt
oobutwasn'
taf
ri
endl
ylaugh
Her:"
HaiySatanistest
ingmypat ience
!!Lut
handoyoumadet hatchil
dfalli
nlovewi
th
younowy oucomeher eandt ellmey oudon'
t
l
ov eher?Jypraatkakman! !
"
(
Mymom usuall
yspeaksAf
ri
kaanswhenshe'
s
madt
othecore)
Baf
ana:
"Macomedown!
"
Mom: "
Don'tt
ellmetocomedownwena! !kanti
Minawhatdi dIdot odeser
vesuchkidsMar a
heh? Fi
rstl
yLuthandoyoudumpachi l
dwhose
mot herisaprosti
tut
einmyhouse, secondly
BafanaIf i
ndy ouwit
hawhor ei
nyomanj eit
s
youagai nLuthando!
!Yhi
niMaraheh?"
Herv
oicewasbr
eaki
ng.
.
Me:
"Mai
-"
Sheshutmewi
thahand.

Shethentur
nedandmadeherwayoutl
eav
ing
onl
yguil
twrit
tenonourf
aces 
•
•
•
#Sf
iso

Igul
pedthewat
er,
thendi
ditagai
n,andagai
n
andagai
n 
"
Youmustbeal
ott
hir
sty!
"Boi
tumel
ospoke 
Ipl
acedthegl
assonthesi
nkandt ur
nedtoher,
shewasleani
nghercur
vesonthedoorway
fr
om thel
oungeheadi
ngtotheki
tchen
Me:
"Ye-y
eah!
"
Her
:"
Youokay?
"
Inoddedr
epeat
edl
y 
Me:
"Yeah,
Ijusthav
eaki
l
li
erheadache"
Her
:"
Ihavetabl
etsi
nmybag,
shoul
dIbr
ing
t
hem fory
ou? "
Inodded..Shet
urnedandwalkedback..
I
quickl
ytookmycellphoneandsendatext
messaget oTyr
a(myboy f
ri
end)
"Wehaveaprobl
em ,
itl
ooksl
i
kewe'l
lbef
aci
ng
Lut
handoTenget
il
eonBoit
umelo"
-
Sent
"
Whatdoy
oumean?
"
-
Recei
ved 
"
Boitumel
oispr
egnantandTenget
il
eist
he
f
ather"
Him:"
Fuck!!!
Thenwehavetoactf ast!
!Take
Boit
umeloandmakesurey ousleepwithher
toni
ght,
Ifshedoesn'
twantthenforceyoursel
f
onher
!"
Shemadeherwaybacki
nmaki
ngmequi
ckl
y
hi
demycellphone 
"
Her
e"
Shehandedt
het
abl
etst
ome.
..

TOBECONTI
NUED
[
04/
28,
18:
21]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t33

'
Iwasal one, t
hewor l
dhadt urnedagainstme,
att
ackedmeandputmedownmaki ngmef eel
solow, Ineededhert obetheonet odefendme
andbeonmysi de.I
nsteadshel etherhatred
towardsmekeepherawayf rom meandI
enduredallthecruelwordsandcr it
ici
smst he
worldthrewatme'
-
Boi
tumel
o
•
•
•
#Sf
iso

Itookmycarkey
sthatwer
epl
acedont
he
coffeet
abl
e 
"
Ishoul
dgetgoi
ng"
Ispoket
oBoi
tumel
owhohadal
lherf
ocuson
theTV 
Her
:"
Oh...
andmom shoul
dpr
obabl
ybeonher
wayback"
Me:
"YeahIknow"
Sheswit
chedof
ftheTVusi
ngt
her
emot
e
cont
rol
l
erandst
oodup 
"
Letmewal
kyouout"
Shespoke.
.
Ial
sost oodup, Idi
dn'
tknowhowIwoul d
approachhertosleepatmypl ace.i
twasgoi
ng
tobediffi
cul
thav i
ngsexwithherbecause
honestl
yspeakingIdon'
tfeelgirl
satal
l..
.
Wewal
kedt
othedoor.
.
Shehel
dthedoorhandl
e 
Her
:"
IguessIshal
lseey
out
omor
row"
Me:
"Tomo-Uh.
.I
-?"
Aknockont
hedoormademeshutmymout
h 
Shel
ookedatme 
Her
:"
Youwer
esay
ing?
"
Me:
"Uhm .
.Nev
ermi
nd"
Sheopenedt
hedoorandaver
ybeaut
if
ul
womanwasstandi
ngther
e..
"
Hi?
"Boi
tumel
ogr
eet
ed.
.
Thewomanwal
kedi
nuni
nvi
ted 
Her
:"
Hi.
.I
syourmom home?
"
Boi
tumel
o:"
No,
shewentoutshoppi
ngwi
th
Boi
neel
o"
Thewomancatwal
kedt
othehi
ghchai
rs 
"
I'
ll
wai
tfort
hem t
hen"
Boi
tumel
olookedatmeonceagai
n 
Her
:"
I'
ll
seey
out
omor
row"
Iki
ssedherf
oreheadt
hewal
kedout
 
"
Shi
t!
"Icur
sedassoonasshecl
osedt
hedoor.
Tyr
awillbemadifhefi
ndsoutIwasachi
cken
toaskBoit
umel
ot osl
eepatmyplace 
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

It
urnedtothewoman. .
Shewasver
ybeaut
if
ulI
won'tl
i
e..Herout
fi
tspel
tthewor
d"ri
ch"She
had28"Per
uvi
anhai
randhadPor
chcar
skey
s
i
nhand..
"
CanIgety
ouany
thi
ngtodr
ink?"Iaskedaf
ter
afewmoment
sofawkwar
dsil
ence 
Her:
"Yeahj
uicebutstar
tbyremovi
ngthatt
hing
onyournose,it
sdisgusti
ng"(
Shemeantnose
ri
ng)
Ir
emov
edi
t..
Her:
"Arey out
hedaughtert
hatRethabi
l
ehas
beentell
ingmeabout?Thepr ost
it
ute?
Because
real
l
yy ourout
fitandev
eryt
hingaboutyou
spel
lsthat"
*
*Wow!
!*
*
Ikeptqui
et 
Her:"
Yourmotherhasev er
ythi
ng,Surel
yshe
support
sy ouf
inanci
all
ysowhati si
tthatyou
wantthatyouevendecidedtoprost
it
ute
around?"
Me:
"I
..
i-
"
Her:
"Twokidsandy oustil
lbr
ingaguyt oyour
mother'
shouse? Siesmt anandin!Howdoy ou
feel
seeingyoursistersuccessf
ul andwena
havi
ngnothing?"
Shewaski
l
li
ngmewi
thi
nwi
thwor
ds.
..
Idi
dn'tr
eall
ythinkmymot herwouldhatemeto
apointwhereshewouldev enli
etostr
angers
aboutme. .
Herwordshithomet oapointwhere
byIcouldn'
tevencont
rolthetearsi
nmyey es 
Her:
"Doyout hi
nkcryi
ngwouldscareme?Nana
you'
reveryyoungforthel
if
ey ou'
rel
i
ving.
.You'
l
l
diey
oungandl eaveyourchi
ldrenwi
thnooneto
l
ookafterthem .
."
Me:
"Idon'
thav
ea-
"
Shecutmeof
f 
"Ret
habil
eevenhasahear
ttoletyoustayi
nher
houseevenwhenyoudon'
trespectherhome
l
ikethi
s?"
Iopenedmymout
htot
alkbutwor
dsf
ail
edme,
howcoul
dmyownmot
herdot
hist
ome?
Theki
tchendooropenedandthefam wal
kedi
n
Theywereal
lJoll
yandhadplast
icsi
nhand 
Mom:
"Thabi
tha!
"
Thewoman:
"Ret
habi
l
e..
Boi
neel
o"
Shest
oodupandwelcomedt
hem wi
tht
he
mostwar
mesthugsever
 
Mom:"
Ithoughty
ousai
dyou'
l
lbecomi
ngl
ater
on"
Thewoman:"Iwant
edt
ohel
pyouguyswit
hthe
cooki
ng,Iwantust
opr
epar
eLut
hando'
s
fav
ouri
temeal.
.
*
*Ohhh!She'
sLut
hando'
s(Boi
neel
o'
sBoy
fri
end)
mom *
*
Boi
neel
olookedatme 
Her
:"Ar
eyouokay?
"
Icouldn'
ttal
ksoIwalkedoutl
eavi
ngthem t
o
burstouti
nlaught
erexceptf
orThato.
..
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

Ipuffedont heweedwhi l
ecar ef
ull
yleani
ngmy
headont hecouchandl i
steningtoRapsongs. .
I
couldn'
tstopthinki
ngofBoitumel o..
Herbei
ng
pregnantwasaj oytomyl i
fe, If
oundmysel f
happybutt hethoughtofherterminati
ngit
madememor eangry..
Bafanamadehi swayin 
"
Mom want
stot
alkt
oyou"
Iopenedmyey
es 
Hehandedmehi
sphoneandIlower
edt
he
vol
umewhil
epl
aci
ngthephoneonmyear
"
MakaBaf
ana"Ianswer
ed 
Her:
"Baby..
.Ineedyoutobr
ingmypur
se,
I
f
orgotitatyourapart
ment"
Me:
"Wher
eyouat?
"
Her
:'
'
I'
ll
sendy
out
hel
ocat
ion"
Me:
"OkayI
'
m onmywayt
hen"
Ihungup 
Me:
"Shewant
smet
obr
ingherpur
se"
Ist
oodupt
aki
ngmycarkey
s 
Hi
m:"
Andy
ou'
regoi
ngoutwear
ingt
hat?
"
(
IwaswearingNi
keshortswi
thmatchi
ng
muscl
evestandai
rJordanki
cks)
Me:
"I
'm dr
oppi
ngt
hepur
set
hencomi
ngback"
Iwal
kedupst
air
stof
etcht
hepur
set
henwent
outt
omycar 
.
..
.
Thedri
vewaskindalong, j
ustabout30-45
minut
esfrom myplace.
.Itwast hesur
burbs
andIswearIhavebeentherejustaonceor
twi
cetoseeBoit
umel o.
..
Ipar
kedout
sideaver
ybeaut
if
ulmansionhouse
..
Itwast
headdressmymotherhadsentme..
Idi
all
edhernumber
sfr
om myphoneandcal
l
ed
her
 
Me:
"I
'm out
side'
'
Her
:"
I'
m comi
ng"
Ihungupwonder
ingwhosehousei
sthi
s?
.
..
Isawthegateopeni
ngaft
erafewminut
esand
wassurpr
isedtoseeBoi
neel
owalki
ngout
i
nsteadofmom 
Me:
"Neel
o?"
Shesmi
l
ed 
Me:
"Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?Wher
eismom ?
"
Her:
"She'
sinsi
de,
sheaskedmecomef
etch
you"
Me:"
Fet
chme?
IthoughtI
'
m dr
oppi
ngt
hepur
se
onl
y"
Her:
"Wepreparedsomet
hingni
cef
ory
ou,
pl
easecomei n"
Isi
ghed 
Me:
"Whosehomei
sthi
s?"
"
Mom'
s"
Idi
dn'
twannadisappoi
ntmom becausei
t
obvi
ousl
ylookedl
ikeshehadsomethi
ngnice
pl
annedforme..
"
Let
'sgot
hen"
Shehel
dmyhandandwewal
kedi
n..
.
.
..
.
Mom wasintheKi
tchenwit
hsomel
adywhom I
assumedi
s/wasBoineel
o'
smom 
Mom:
"Lookwho'
sher
e!"
Shespokecomi
ngt
omeandwel
comi
ngmei
n
forahug 
If
akedasmi
l
ehuggi
ngher
 
Mom:
"Ret
habi
l
e,t
hisi
smysonLut
hando"
Ret
habi
l
ecamet
omeandal
sosmi
l
ed 
Her
:"
Final
l
yIgett
omeetmysoni
nlaw!
"
Theyal
ll
aughed 
Mom:
"Babyt
hisi
sBoi
neel
o'
smot
her,
Ret
habi
l
e
"
Ikeptqui
et,honestl
yIdidn'
tknowwhattosay
becauseIwasrathermadatmom thanhappy,
whywouldshei nt
roducemet oBoi
neel
o'
smom
knowingIdon'
tloveher?
Boi
neel
o:"
Letmeshowyouaroundwhi
l
ewe
wai
ti
ngfort
hepar
entst
ofi
nishup"
Ismi
l
ed 
Sheheldmyhandagai nandledmetotheother
rooms..Ist
oppedwhenwewer efi
nall
youtof
theki
tchenandfur
iouslygr
abbedherarm 
"
Whatdoy
out
hinky
ou'
redoi
ng?
"Iasked 
Her
:"
Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout?
"
Ichuckl
edbi
tt
erl
y 
Me:"
Boineel
owearenotmarr
ied,
Iwon'
tmar
ry
youandIwil
lnev
ermarryy
ousostop-
"
Shel
aughedatmyst
atement
Her:
"Lut
handoI'
mi nt
roduci
ngy out
omymother
al
lbecauseyouaremyboy fr
iendsochi
l
l"
Itur
nedwi ththeaimtochargeheragainstthe
wallbutbutsomeonecl eari
ngtheirt
hroatmade
mest op..
.Ilookedatdoorway,itwas
Boit
umelost andingt
here..
Shelookedbeaut i
ful
andherey eswer ebl
oodshotredandpuf f
y
i
ndicati
ngt hatshehadbeencr y
ing 
"
Boi
tumel
o!"
."Lut
hando!"
Wespokeatthesametimebecausewewer
e
bot
hshockedtoseeeachot
herthere 
"Lordl
ethernotbet
hesi
stert
hatBoi
neelo
oncetoldmeabout!
"Myinnermanprayed
sil
entl
y..
..
TOBECONTI
NUED 
mot
her
'shat
red 
 
[
04/
28,
18:
21]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t34

'
Doy ouknowt hepai noffeelinglonelywit
hno
onetotur
nt oy etyourmot heriswat chi
ngand
l
etyouburyy ourselfinarageangerwhi lesheis
j
ustwatchi
ngandl aughingaty oubecauseof
herhat
redtowar dsy ouhast urnedherintoevi
l
?'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o
Seei
ngLut handol
i
teral
lybri
ght
enedupmy
day.
.At
leastsomeonewhomakesmesmi l
e
'
int
enti
onally'
 
wasthere..
Iknow, IknowthatLuthandoandImightnever
beont hehoneymoonphasebuti nhi
m, I
alwaysfindcomfortandjoy.
.Hebri
ngsmy
heartatpeaceandf or
evermakesmel aughI
n
hisint
imidati
ngway s.
..
.
..
.
.
Forasecondther
e,Ipausedbecause
somethi
ngdidn'
tmakesense!
Howdidheknowmyhousebecausesur
elyhe
doesn'
tknowt
heact
ual
addressbutt
wost r
eet
s
awaytomyhouse?
*
*Nononono.
.What
'sgoi
ngonher
e**
*
Il
it
eral
l
ypani
ckedatthethoughtofmy
Lut
handobei
ngBoineel
o'
sLut hando!
"
DearGod.
.Pl
easedon'
t!!
"Thatwast
hesi
l
ent
pr
ayerf
orasecond,
 
*
*Lut
hando'
smot
her
?**
**Luthando?MyLuthando?
Mysi
ster
's
Luthando?..
Leti
tnotbe**
Boi
neel
o:"
Youguy
sknoweachot
her
?"
Shef
inal
l
yut
ter
ed 
Lut
hando:
"Boi
tumel
o?Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e
?"
Me:
"I
-l.
.i
t'
smyhome.
Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
"
Icoul
dseetheangeri
nLut
hando'
sey
es.
.He
wasangryandcoul
dn'
thi
deit
 
Hi
m:"
Youguy
sar
esi
ster
s?"
Bef
oreIcoul
danswert
hatmom andLuu'
smom
madethei
rwayinl
aughi
ng 
Mom:
"Her
etheyar
e!Foodi
sready!
"
Iswal
l
owedhard,IwishedIcoul
djustmel
t
awayunr
ecogni
zed..
Mom l
ookedatusandcoul
dseet
her
e's
somet
hinghappeni
ng 
"
Isev
ery
thi
ngokayi
nher
e?"
mom asked 
"
Isshey
ourmot
her?
"
Lut
handoaskedpoi
nti
ngaf
igur
eatmom 
Iwasshaki
ngi
nfear.
..
Luu'
smom :
"Lut
handodoy
ouknowher
?"
SheaskedLut
hando 
Lut
handowasaboutt
oanswerbutIdi
d 
"Ye-.
.Yeah!Ioncedat
edhi
stwi
nbr
other
Bafana!"Li
ed..
Ihadt
oli
etosav
emysel
ffr
om mom
"You?Youdat
edBaf
ana?MyBafana?"She
askedwit
hsomuchhatr
edanddisgusti
nher
voice

Ikeptqui
et 
Her:"
Kanti
what'
swrongwit
hBaf
ana?
Whyi
she
at
tractedt
oprost
it
utes?
"
Lut
handol
etoutanunf
ri
endl
ychuckl
e 
Him:"
Surel
ytheyal
sof
edy
ourheadwi
th
nonsense!
"
Hel
ookedatme 
"
Gety
ourt
hingsandwe'
reget
ti
ngoutofher
e"
Istoodt
her
enotknowingwhatt
odo, i
twas
ei
thermom orLut
handoandsur
elyi
fIreamin
behindmymotheri
sgoingt
oskinmealive 
Mom:"Boi
tumel
ogetoutsowecant
alkabout
t
hisasafamil
y.Lut
hando-
"
"
Yey
!Don'
tyoudar
e!!
"Hewar
ned 
Hi
smom: "
Kant
iwhat
'sgoi
ngonher
e?Boi
neel
o
maybey
oucantel
luswhat'
sgoi
ngon?"
Icouldseemom al
sopani
cki
ng.
.Boi
neel
owas
i
nt ear
s 
Mom:
"Lut
hando,
Boi
tumel
oismani
pul
ati
ve
..
Sheslovesget t
ingall
manwr appedar
ound
herf
inger
s. Sheli
esandf orgetthebabi
esshe
l
eavesinmyhousef ormet ofeedthem andst
il
l
goi
ngtopr osti
tut
eallaround!"
"Iev
enfoundheri
nyourhouseRet
habi
l
ewi
tha
boy"Luu'
smom added 
Luthando: "
Thabithadoy our
selfafavourand
stayoutoft hi
s!"Hesai dpointi
ngaf i
gureathis
mom . .
Ihav eneverseenaLut handosomad
..Ever
ythingwasj ustmessedup. .Ievenhad
tearsandasf orBoineeloshewassobbi ng
there..
AndIsweari fy
ouwoul daskhert otel
l
youherr easonforsobbingsobadshewoul dn't
answer 
Mom:
"Lut
hando,
Boi
tumel
ois-
"
Befor
eshecouldfi
nishhersent
ence,
Luthando
hadalr
eadycl
aspedhi shandonmomsthroat
andchokedherangaistt
hewall.
.
"
LUTHANDO!
!"
weal lshoutedbuthewasn'tbackingaway.I
couldseemom f ight
ingf
orherl i
feandtryi
ngto
remov eLuthando'
shandfrom hert hr
oatbut
Luthando'sgripwastoot
ightforher..
.
..
Boi
neel
o:"
Madosomet
hing!
"
Sher
efer
redt
oThabi
tha.
..
Wewer eallscaredandmom wassurel
y
r
unningoutofbr eat
h..
Boi
neelorant
oacouch
wheretherewasmom' shandbagandtookout
whatlookedlikeagunandchokedit
 
Me:
"Boi
neel
ono!
!!
!"
Shecouldn'
tev
enhol
dthegunpr
oper
ly
becauseshewasal
soshaki
ng.
..
Itri
edtor untoLut
handotostophi
m andal
so
tr
iedtor untohert
osnatchthegunawayfr
om
her...
..
.
Ever
ythi
ngjusthappenedsof
astt
hatIwouldbe
l
yi
ngifIsayIknewwhathappenedbut.
..
..

Agunshot!Yesagunshot!

IlookedatLut hando' smot herwhohadbot hher

handscov eringhermout h,thenatMom who
Luthandohadl etgoandwasont hefloorand
couldseet herewasnol ifeinher..
Thenat
Boineelowhol etgooft hegunandwasal soon
thefloorsobbingherl ungsoutt henlastl
yat
Luthando,myLut handowhowasr unningto
catchmesoIwoul dn'tfallandhithar
dont he
fl
oorandev erythingwentbl urandthebloodon
mydr ess,Iwoul dn'tsay! !

Theni
twasl
i
ght
soutf
orme.
..
•
•
•
#Kwena

Myfeetwer
ereal
l
yki
l
li
ngmebecauseofhi
gh
heel
s..
Ihadjustat
tendedoneofhel
lofacl
i
entand
didn'
thavemercyonme. .
Isatont
her
esbedmassagi
ngmyf
eett
hen
ther
ewasaknockont
hedoor 
"
Nomkhi
thapl
easegett
hat!
"Ishout
ed
"
I'
m st
il
li
ntheshower
!"
,sheshout
edback 
Ar
gh!Ist
oodupt
henwal
kedt
o 
t
hedoor,
itwasThomas.
.
Ir
oll
edmyey
esmaki
nghi
mlaugh 
Heinv
itedhi
msel
finsl
i
ght
lypushi
ngmet
othe
si
de 
Me:
"Whatdoy
ouwant?
"
Hechuckl
ed 
Hi
m:"
Ist
haty
ourwayofgr
eet
ingy
ourman?
"
Iopenedt
hedoorwi
det
henl
eanedagai
nsti
t 
Me:"
I'
mti
red,sosaywhaty
ouwannasayand
gett
hehel
lout"
Hi
m:"Hadahect
icday?Orrat
hersayy
ougot
f
uckedbyareal
dickthi
sti
me? "
Igav
ehi
m adeadst
are
Him:
"Ki
ddi
ng, I
'
m her
eforabusi
nesspr
oposal
"
hesai
dunbuckl
inghi
ssui
ttop
Il
aughed.
"Justwhenyouthoughtyouhadthel
ongestday
ofyourli
feanddevilhi
mselfcomest
oyour
housetotestyourpati
ence!"
Him:"
I'
ll
pret
endIdi
dn'
tgett
hat,
hegav
emean
envel
ope"
Hi
m:"
I'
m gi
vi
ngyou12hour
stogot
hrought
his
t
hencal
lme!"
Itooktheenv
elopeandhi
thi
m wi
thi
tont
he
face 
"
Oskant
lwael
amasepawena!
(Don'
tpi
ssme)
"
Isai
d 
Hel
aughedt
aki
ngtheenvel
opeandwal
kedt
o
t
hencof
feet
abl
eandplaceditt
her
e.
"
Hav
eagoodni
ght!
"
Hesai
dwal
ki
ngout!
 
Icl
osedthedooronhim andwalkedtot
hebed
l
eavi
ngtheenvelopeonthetabl
e!..
.
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina

"
Gotev
ery
thi
ngpacked?
"Shi
rl
eyasked 
Me:
"Yeah,
ever
ythi
ngi
spacked!
'
Shej
oinedmeont
hecouch 
Andhandedmeagl
assofwhi
sky
 
"
Tol
i
fei
nSout
hAf
ri
ca?
"
"
Tol
i
fei
nSout
hAf
ri
ca"
Ourgl
assesmetandwebot
hlaughed 
Me:
"Andhast
heguy
spackedt
hei
rthi
ngs?
"
Shenodded 
Me:
"Okay!
"
Ikeptqui
etl
ooki
ngt
hrought
hegl
ass 
"Hellhasunl
ockedt
hedoor
sformet
otake
placein"
Isaidslowl
yst
il
lst
ari
ngt
hrought
hewhi
sky
glass 
Shi
rl
ey:
"Andf
ir
stshoul
dbeRet
habi
l
eri
ght?
"
Inodded 
Me:"
Ibet
terf
indherdeadbecausei
fnot,it
s
onl
yGodthatknowhowcr uelandt
err
ibl
eher
deat
hwi
l
lbe!
"
Shi
rl
ey:
"I'
l
ldr
inkt
othat!
"
"
Cheer
s!"

TOBECONTI
NUED 
[
04/
28,
18:
22]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t35

'
Broken,unloved, unwanted,abused, and
beinguboindantbyy ourownmot herhurts
mor et
hanev erythi
ngelse.Youmightloseyour
l
egsandt hepai nwon'tbemuchgr eaterthan
theoneofseei nghatredinyourmother'seye'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Kwena

Iopenedtheenv el
opeandwentt hrought he
pict
uresagai
n, Icouldn'
tbeli
evei
t..Icouldn'
t
beli
eveThomascoul ddot hattome. .I
twere
thepict
uresofBoitumeloandIstealingfrom
Bafanaawhileago. .
Itsonl
yLuthandot hat
knowsandIdon' tknowwhatBaf anami ghtdoif
hefindsoutaboutthem..
.
..
.
..
Iwasn'tscaredatal lbutIwasj ustafrai
dof
l
osingBaf anaasaf r
iendbecauseour
fr
iendshipwassor eal,heunder standsmeand
couldseet hroughhisey esthatImean
somet hi
ngt ohim andsomet hi
ngv erystr
ong
..
SoIdon' twannar uinthat..
.
..
.
..
It
ookmyphonefrom t
hedr
essi
ngt
abl
eand
di
all
edThomas'
number 
"
Pri
ncess?
"Heanswer
ed 
Me:
"Whatt
hef
uckdoy
ouwantf
rom me?
"
Hechuckl
ed 
"
Yout
owor
kforme"
Me:
"ThomasIai
n'
tforsal
e"
Hel
aughed 
"
MeetmeatMaxi'ski
tchenforbr
eakf
ast,
then
I
'
llt
ell
youbusi
nessproposal
"
Me:"Thomasi
tsei
thery
out
alkont
hecel
l
phone
or-
"
Hi
m: "
Okay!I
'
lldr
ivet
oyourr
est
omor
row
morning"
Ihungup.
.
.
..
Baf
anai
sthef
ri
endInev
erhadandIdon'
twi
sh
tol
osehim,atal
l.
..
Sothepi
ctur
ewi
l
ldest
roy
ourf
ri
endshi
pfor
ever!
•
•
•
#Boi
neeel
o

"
DearGod,
pleasesav
emymot
her!
"
Ihavebeenprayingsi
l
ent
lyf
orthepast3hours
si
tti
ngwithLuthando'
smom i
nthehospit
al'
s
wait
ingarea.
.
Thedoct
orswentgi
vi
ngust
hierat
tent
ionatal
l
..
.
..
.
Ev
ery
thi
nghappenedsoqui
ck.
.
I
tlef
tusconf
usedandwi
thl
otsofquest
ions.
.
Mom hasbeenadmi
tt
edandt
hankst
omom'
s
securi
tyguardsbecauset heyr ushedi nsoon
aft
erhearingthegunshotandt heydr oveus
downt othehospitalleavi
ngLut handoand
Boit
umelobehi nd..Ididn'
tcareaboutBoi tumel
o
anddidn'
tgiveaf uckbecauseal l
oft his
wouldn'
thav ehappenedi fitwasn'tforher.

Lut
hando'
smom :
"Ar
eyouokay?
"
Ikeptqui
et 
Iwasl
osti
ndeept
hought
stoev
enanswerher.
.
"
Boi
neel
o?"
 
Me:
"Uh?
uh?
"
Shehel
dmyhands 
Her
:"
Shewi
l
lbeokaybabydon'
twor
ry"
Iwi
pedthet
ear
sonmycheekswi
tht
hebackof
myhand 
Me:"
Whydi
dLuthandodot
hatMar
aheh?
"My
voi
cewasbr
eaki
ng 
Shemov
edcl
osert
oembr
aceme 
Her:
"Surel
y,Yourpr
ost
it
utesi
sterf
edhi
m wi
th
nonsense"
.
..
..
.
SeeingLuthandofi
ghtforBoit
umel ol
i
ket hat
l
eftmej eal
ous..
Hehasnev erfoughtf
ormei n
thatwayandwoul dneverfi
ghtformelikethat
buthedidwi t
hBoitumelo!
.
..
..
..
..
..
.
.
Her
:"
I'
ll
tal
kt oLuthandobaby,
sur
elyt
her
eisa
r
easonbehindthat"
Isl
i
ght
lypushedher
 
"Thereisareason,
can'
ty ouseethat?!
!
Luthandoisinlovewit
hmysi sterandall
you
keeponsay i
ngi syou'
l
ltalkt
ohi m!" 
Ishoutedmakingpeopl
elookatusandI
couldn'
tcar
eless 
Her
:"
Lut
handol
ovesy
ouBoi
neel
o!"
Il
ookedather
 
"
Youknowwhat,
pleasel
eav
e!"
Her
:"
Excuseme?
"
Ist
oodup 
"Isaidleave,mymot herisintheref
ight
ingfor
herl i
feall
becauseofy ourchi
ld!Shemightdie
allbecauseofhim andal l
youkeeponsay ingI
s
hel ovesme?Tsamay a(Go!)"
Shestooduptaki
ngherclut
chback.
.Shefi
xed
herweavebefor
ewalki
ngoutofthehospit
al
wait
ingarea,
makingsureshemaint
ainedher
walk..
.
•
•
•
#Lut
hando
"
Doy ouknowthati
fBoineel
o'
smotherdi
esy ou
mightgobacktopr
isonri
ght?"Baf
anaspoke 
Me:
"Andy
ouser
iousl
ythi
nkI
'
m scar
ed?
"
Hekeptqui
et 
Me:"Baf
anaI'
m sti
l
lhungeryforthatwomen's
blood,youcoul
dhav ehear
dt hethongsshe
saidaboutBoi
tumeloti
ghtinf
rontofher!"
Ist
oodupandpacedal
lar
oundther
oom t
hen
punchedont
hewall
ver
yhard 
Me:
"Howcoul
dInotnoti
cet
hatBoi
tumel
oand
Boi
neel
oar
esist
ers?"
Hekeptqui
etst
il
l 
Me:"
IswearI'
m goi
ngtof uckt
hem up
..
Boineel
omustpraythatBoit
umeloshoul
dnot
l
osemychi l
dbecauseifshedoesncncncnc"
Hehandedmeawhi
skeybot
tl
e 
Hi
m:"
Dri
nkt
his,
itwi
l
lhel
pcal
myoudown"
It
ooki
tandgul
pedi
tdown
.
..
Wewer eathissurgeryinhisof f
ice,Hehad
cal
ledinfav
ourstot akeBoitumel otohospital
becauseshehadt obet akent oTheatreforan
i
mmedi at
eoper at
ion...
Iwoul dbel y
ingifIsayI
knowwhatiswr ongori fshemi ghtnotlosemy
babybecauseshehasbeenshootandl ucki
ly
enoughshe'sbeenshotont hear m 
•
•
•
#Kwena.

"
What?
!Wher
eisshe?
"
Iasked,Iwasoncall
wit
hBafanawhoj
ustt
old
meBoi t
umelohasbeenshot
 
Hi
m:"
Sti
l
lint
heat
ref
or,
we'
rest
il
lwai
ti
ngf
or
t
hedoct
ors!
"
Me:
"Baf
anapl
easet
ell
met
hebabyi
sokay!
"
Myv
oicebet
ray
edmeandst
art
edbr
eaki
ng.
.

Idon'
teasi
lycrybutt
het houghtofBoi
tumel
o
l
osingthechi
ldwasbreakingMe.. .
Thepoor
Boit
umelohasbeenthroughal otandbad
thi
ngsconti
nuehappeningtoher..
Baf
ana:
"Baby?
Kwenaar
eyouokay?
"
Iwi
pedmysi
l
entt
ear
s 
Me:
"Yeah.
.y
eah,
I'
m onway"
Hi
m:"
No!
I'
l
lcomeandf
etchy
ou"
Ihungupandqui
ckl
ychangedt
otr
acksui
ts.
. 
.
Ikeptonwi
pingmyt
ear
sbutt
heycoul
dn'
tst
op
fl
owing 
"Godwhyisthatbadthi
ngshappentoheronl
y,
whathasshedonet oyoutodeser
vesomuch
hatr
edandpunishmentsfr
om you?..
..
."
I'
m notafanofpr
ayerbutf
oundmysel
f
kneel
ingdownandyell
ingi
npray
er!

TOBECONTI
NUED
Mot
her
'shat
red 
 
[
04/
28,
18:
23]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t36

'
NomatterhowhardItr
ytoletgoofthesepai
n
i
nsi
deme, itgr
owsstr
ongerbecauseher
hat
redt
owar dmeopensmywoundsev enmore
'
-
Boi
tumel
o
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o
Iwasnowstandi
ngoutsi
demom'sward,
watchi
nghert
hrought
hewindowsl
eepi
ng
peacef
ull
y.
Myhear
tached,
howcoul
dBoi
tumel
obet
ray
meli
kethat?
I
twasobv i
ousthatsomethi
ngstrongwas
happeni
ngbetweenherandLuthando,j
udgi
ng
fr
om howhefoughtforher.
Iwipedmyt earswithnycar
diganwhenmom
fi
nall
yturnedtomysi deandhereyessl
owl
y
openingandblinki
ngaf ewti
mes..
.
.
..
.
Iwalkedinsi
deherwar
d,shewast r
yingtosi
t
upstrai
ghtbuti
rcwashar
dforherbecauseof
herswoll
enneck 
"Easy.
."Isai
dhelpi
ngherr
elaxherbackont
he
pil
lowforbal
ance 
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:
"Howar
eyou?
"
Sheal
sosmi
l
edf
aint
ly
Her
:"
No,
howar
eyou?
"
Ishr
ugged 
Sheopenedherar
msf
ormet
omangl
eint
hem
andIdi
d...
Herembr
acemademel
osei
tal
landl
eti
tal
l
out
 
Her
:"
Shhh"
Shebr
ushedmyback.
.
Her
:"
Ineedy
out
obest
rongf
orme"
Imovedawayf
rom herembracesni
ff
ingand
qui
ckl
ywipi
ngawaymyt ear
s 
Me:
"You'
rer
ight
,Ishoul
dbest
rongf
ory
ou"
Shesmi
l
ed 
Her
:"
That
'smygi
rl"
Isatont
hehospi
tal
bedbesi
desher.
..
Nomat t
erhowst
rongIt
ri
edt
oact,
itwasn'
t
easyatal
l 
Her
:"
Wher
eisLut
hando?
"
"
HechoseBoi
tumel
oov
erme"Ispokest
il
li
n
t
ear
s 
Her
:"
Youdoknowt
hati
twon'
thappenr
ight?
"
Inodded 
Her:
"Iwon'
tl
etBoi
tumel
ost
eal
yourhappi
ness
okay?"
Inoddedagai
n 
.
..
Me:
"Thepol
i
cewi
l
lbeher
efory
ourst
atement"
Shel
ookedaway
 
Me:
"Mom?
"
Her:
"Babytheywil
larr
estyouifwegivethem
ourstor
y.YoushotBoitumeloandI'
m prett
y
sur
eshei ssti
ll
outtherefi
ghti
ngforherli
fe"
Me:
"Butmom Lut
handowaski
l
li
ngy
ou"
Shet
ouchedmyhand 
Her:
"Iknowbabybuthei syoursandyoulov
e
hi
m. AllIj
ustwishfornowisforBoit
umeloto
bedeadbecausei fsheisnotShe'
ll
givemeno
choi
cebutt ofi
nishheroff"
Ismi
l
ed.
Her:
"That
'swhatIwannasee,yousmil
ing
..
Nowgohomeandf reshenuptheny
ou'l
l
comebacktoseemommyokay ?"
Inoddedwhi
l
est
andi
ngup
Her
:"
I'
ll
deal
wit
hthepol
i
cei
nthemeant
ime"
Iki
ssedherf
oreheadbef
oremaki
ngmywayout
..
•
•
•
#Kwena
Iwasimpat
ient
lywai
ti
ngforBaf
anawhowas
taki
nghi
sti
met ocomefetchme..
.
Icoul
dn'
tstoppaci
ngall
aroundtheroom ,
whoevert
hathasshotBoit
umelosti
l
l hashel
lto
dealwi
th..
Aknockonhedoormademequi
ckl
ythedoor
 
"
Final
l
y!"
Isaidimmediat
elywhenIwaswel
comedby
Bafana'sf
ace 
Hi
m:"
Kwena?
"
Ipushedhi
m out
sideandcl
osedt
hedoor
 
Me:
"Ar
evay
e(Let
'sgo)
!"
Il
edt
hewaywhi
l
ehef
oll
owed 
Hi
m:"
Baby?
"
Hefi
nal
l
ycaughtupwi
thmeandhel
dmyhand
maki
ngmestop 
Hi
m:"
Kwena?
!!
"Heshout
ed 
Me:
"BafanaIwannaseeher,
Iwantt
osee
Boi
tumelo"
Hi
m:"
IknowandIwantt
opr
omi
sey
out
haty
ou
ar
egoi
ngtoseeher"
Me:
"Thenar
etsamay
e(Thenl
et'
sgo)
"
Hi
m:"
KwenaBoi
tumel
oisnotatmysur
ger
y"
Me:
"Whatdoy
oumean?
"
Hehel
dbot
hmyhands 
"BabyIhadtot
akehertoapr
ivat
ehospi
tal
fora
surger
y,sheneededi
tASAp"
Il
aughedbi
tt
erl
y 
Me:"
Bafanawher
eisBoi
tumeloandwhoshot
her?Whywassheshot?Ist
hebabyokay?Ba-
"
Hesmashedhi
sli
psonmi
nemaki
ngmeshut
mymouth..
.
Thekissl
ast
edf
oraf
ewsecondsunt
ilhe
pul
ledout
 
Hi
m:"
Onequest
ionatat
imeandI
'
llanswery
ou
"
Ikeptqui
et,
sti
l
ltr
yingt
ocat
chmybr
eat
h 
Him:"Idon'
tknowfull
stor
ybutal
lIknowi
s
Boineeloshother"
Me:
"Boi
neel
o?Hersi
ster?
"
Henodded,
Icoul
dn'
thi
demyshock.
.
.
..
..
.
.
Yes,Iknowandal waysknewthatHermother'
s
hatr
edtowardsBoitumelowasdeepbutnotso
deeptoapointwher eshewoul
dsendBoineel
o
toshootherbecausesurel
yshedidsendher 
Me:"
And..
.andi
sthebabyf
ine?"t
hequest
ion
cameoutasawhisper
Him:"
Wealsodon'
tknow..
Shei
sst
il
li
ntheat
re
buthopef
ull
ysheshal
lbef
ine"
MW:
"Hopef
ull
y?Baf
anaor
ehopef
ull
y?Whati
f
shel
ostt
hebabyandt
hat
'sal
lyouar
esay
ing?
"
Hekeptqui
et 
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:
"Wow!
"
Hekeptqui
etst
il
l,Iwal
kedaway
 
Hi
m:"
Kwena?
"
Ist
oppedmi
dwayandt
urnedt
ohi
m 
Me:
"ThatBoineel
ochi
ckwil
lcur
set
hedayshe
wasbroughtonthi
seart
h"
Iwal
kedawayl
eav
inghi
m st
andi
ngt
her
e..
..
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

Icoul
dn'
tstayatthesur
geryany
more, t
hewai
t
foracal
lfr
om thehospi
tal
totel
labouthow
Boi
tumelo'
ssurgerywentwasn'tt
her
eanymor
e
..
Ineededsomet hi
ngtodist
ractmeabit.
SoI
dr
ovetheLA!quizwhereIhadcall
edafewof
myfri
endstomeetme. .
.
..
Wewerechi
l
li
ngattheVVIPsect
ionwit
ha
bot
tl
eofwhi
skyandglassesont
hetabl
e..
Iwas
al
sopuf
fi
ngonsomeweed 
"
Itwon'
tbeanyt
hinghar
d, Ij
ustneedyouto
makeitl
ookl
ikeahouserobbery"Isai
d 
Bi
njos:
"Andweshoul
dleav
edeadbodi
esr
ight
?"
Inodded 
Tee:"
BraLuu.don'
ttaket
hissowrongbutI
thoughty
ouloveddoingcl
eanjobs"
Me:
"Iwoulddoi
tcl
eanbutther
eisapossi
bil
i
ty
t
hatImightl
osemychi
ldhere"
Hi
m:"
Iknowbut-
"
Bi
njos:
"Teecany
oushutt
hef
uckup?
!"
Iey
edTeebef
orel
ooki
ngatal
loft
hem .
.
"
Ineedt
hist
obedoneASAP!
"
Them:
"Sur
ebozza"
Ist
oodup 
Me:"
Agai
nLindo,hernameisBoi
neel
o..
You'
l
l
seewhatyoucandowithher!
"
Hesmi
l
edwhi
l
enoddi
nghi
shead 
.
..
. 
.
.
Myphoner
ang 
"
Excuseme"Iwal
kedawaywhi
l
eanswer
ing 
"
Lut
handoHel
l
o?"
Ianswer
ed 
"
MrTenget
il
e,i
tsLeonar
dher
e"
Myhear
tst
art
edbeat
ingv
eryf
ast
 
Me:
"Leonar
d?"
Him:
"Theoper
ati
onhasbeensuccessf
ull
y
complet
ed"
Ismi
l
ed 
"
Real
l
y?"
Hi
m:"
Yes, wewill
betaki
nghert
othewardina
f
ewminutes,Ij
ustneedyout
ocomedownt o
t
hehospi
talsoicanexpl
aint
oyouever
ythi
ng"
Me:"
I'
m onmyway
.Thanky
ouLeonar
dfor
ev
erythi
ng"
Hi
m:"
Any
timef
ort
heTenget
il
e(s)
"
Ihungupi
njoy.
.Thesmi
l
eonmyf
acesai
dital
l
..
.
.
..
"Theoper
ati
onwentwell,
meetmeatt
he
hospi
tal!
"Isentamessaget
oBaf
ana..
.

TOBECONTI
NUED 
[
04/
28,
18:
23]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED
 I
nser
t37

'
Apl
acewor
set
hanhel
l?
At
ruedef
ini
ti
on?
Mother'
sheartf
il
ledwi
thhat
red!
!Herhear
twas
supposetoaccommodatemenotpushme
awayandkil
lme! "
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•

#Lut
hando

"
MayI?
"
IaskedDoct
orLeonar
daf
tergr
eet
inghi
m..
Hi
m:"
Yespl
ease"
Isatdown.
.
.
..
EventhoughIwashappythatt
heoperat
ion
wentwell,Iwassti
ll
scar
edbecauseIst
ill
had
noinf
ormat i
onabouthowmybabyis!
Me:
"Howi
sshedoct
or?
"
Heclosedthef
il
eonhi
stabl
ethenr
emov
edhi
s
spect
acles 
Him:"Shei
sfineeventhoughitsst
il
lear
lyt
otel
l
butIshouldsaysheisfi
nebecausesheis
respondi
ngwelltotheoperat
ion"
Ikeptqui
et 
"Shelostalotofbl
oodbutI
'
m gladt
hebul l
et
didn'
tharm herany
howbutthesadpartofital
l
i
st hatherbodyist
ooweaktosupportthebaby
"hecont i
nued 
Me:
"Whatdoy
oumean?
"
Him:"
Wear esti
l
l wai
ti
ngforhert
oregai
nher
consciousnessandthat'
swhenwe'l
ltel
li
fwe
shouldremov ethebabyornot"
Ist
oodup.
. 
Me:
"No.
.no.No!
"
Myangerwasr
asi
ngup.
.Shecannotl
oset
he
baby!
Me:
"She'
sbrokenal
ready,doy
ouknowhow
muchthatwi
llki
l
lherevenmore?
"
IwassayingthatbutIwasn'
tsureatal
l.
..
Idon'
t
knowifshelovesthebabyorifshe'
l
lbehappy
toki
ll
thebaby  
Him:
"I
tsnotanof
fi
cialt
hingbutI
'
mjusttel
l
ing
youbecauset
heworsti
sy ett
ocome!"
Ihi
tthet
abl
ehar
d 
Me:
"Leonar
dIpaidy
oualotofcashtosav
e
Boi
tumeloandt
hebaby.
Don'tj
usttel
lme
bull
shi
t!Savethem man!
!!
"Ishout
ed,Ididn'
t
evencarethathisof
fi
cedoorwasopened 
Hest
oodupandgav
emebot
tl
edwat
er 
Hi
m:"
Thi
swi
l
lcal
myoudown.
."
It
ooki
t 
"I
ntrav
enousther
apymighthel
porinf
usi
onwill
helpherwit
hbloodrepl
acementand"maybe"
theymightbewell"
Ist
oodup 
Me:
"Bet
tersav
ethem !
Tsk!
"
Iwal
kedoutaf
tersay
ingt
hat.
..
.
..
.
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o
Ihi
taqui
ckbat
h,Ij
ustwant
edt
obecl
oset
o
mymom ..
 
.
..
Aft
ermybat hIt
ookmom'scarkey
sandwalked
outbutmyphonerangwhil
eIwassti
l
lwal
ki
ng
tohercar.I
twasLut
hando'
smom soI
answered 
"
Ma?
"
Her
:"Babyhowar
eyou?
"
Isi
ghed 
Me:
"Wel
l"
*
*Awkwar
dsi
l
ence*
*
Me:"
Ma?I
'
m sor
ryf
orhowIact
edt
owar
dsy
ou
..
"
Her:"
It
sokaymyl ov
e. .
You'r
egoingt hr
ough
toughti
meandIunder standthatIshouldn'
t
havementionedLuthando"
Me:
"St
il
l.
..
Itdi
dn'
tgi
vemet
her
ightt
oactr
ude
t
owar
dsy
ou"
Her
:"
LikeIsai
dit
'sokay.
.Any
wayhowi
smom?
"
Me:"
Sheisget
ti
ngthere.
.Shemi
ghtget
di
schar
gedanyti
mefrom now"
Her
:"
OkaybabyI
'
llcomeseey
ouguy
sokay
?"
Me:
"Yeah.
.Ishoul
dgo"
Her
:"
Okayby
e"
Ihungup
.
.
"
Hey
?"
Thatst
art
ledme!
It
urnedandi
twasSf
iso 
Me:
"Sf
iso!Youal
mostgav
emeahear
tat
tack!
!"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ry,
Ithoughty
ousawmeent
eri
ng!
"
Me:
"I
tsokay
..Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"
Him:"
Ihavebeent
ryi
ngtocal
lBoi
tumel
obutI
cannotgethol
dofher,
isshehome?"
.
.
Boit
umelo'
snamemademesi ck,i
t'
slike
ever
yoneIassoci
atemyselfwit
hBoitumelo
hassomethi
ngtodowiththem 
Me:
"Boi
tumel
o?Uh.
."
Hi
m:"
Yeah"
It
houghtofsomet
hing
Me: "
No,we'realsolooki
ngforher.
.She
disappear
edaf tert
ryi
ngtokil
lmom because
shewassl eepingwithmyuncle"
Her
aisedhi
sey
ebr
ow 
Hi
m:"
Youruncl
e?"
Ikeptqui
ett
ryi
ngt
ofor
cemysel
ftobr
eak
down 
Me:"Boi
tumel
oisevi
lSf
iso.
."f
aket
ear
s
escapedmyeyes 
Hegotcl
osert
omeasher
ubbedmyback
"
Shhh"
Me:
"Sheal
mostki
l
ledmom!"
Hehuggedmejustt
ight!
Hiscol
ognealone
drov
emeinsane,i
tmademeshi everali
tt
le
andhor
ny..
Imovedal
i
ttl
eawayf
rom hi
sembraceand
tr
iedt
omeethi
sli
pswit
hminebuthetur
ned 
Hi
m:"
Boi
neel
o..
"
Me:
"Pl
easeSf
isoIneedt
his.
."
Iwhi
sper
ed 
Hel
etgoofmef
ull
y
Hi
m:"
Icannotdot
his"
Hespoket
urni
nghi
swayandwal
ki
ngawayt
o
hi
scar 
"
Sfi
so?
?"
Hei
gnor
edme.
..
•
•
•
#Kwena

Igr
ewupunloved, uncaredfor,nottakencare
ofand.most
lydisgustedbymyownpar ent
s
whom Idon'
tknowwher etheyendedupbutI
j
ustwishandhopet heyarerott
inginhellri
ght
now..
Boit
umel
oandIar
epract
ical
l
yoneandgrewup
thesame.
.Weal
wayssupport
edeachot
her
 
.Beenther
eforeachot her..
Lovedeachot her
whennooneel sedid.Weggrewupt r
yingto
closethevoi
dt hatourparent
sleftinus..And
l
osingherwillsurel
ykil
lmeandbr eakmebot h
emot i
onal
lyandphy si
call
y.
.
..
.
..
BafanaandIdrovetot
hehospit
albecausehe
tol
dmeLut handowascal
ledtocomet othe
hospit
al.
..
Hedr ov
eli
keamaniacbecauseIwas
f
orci
nghimt o,notcari
ngaboutt
heacci
dent
t
hatmighthappens..
.
.
.
.
Werushedi
nthewai
ti
ngareaandIcoul
dsee
Lut
handoseat
edt
her
ealone..
Wewal
kedt
ohi
m 
Baf
ana:
"Baf
o..
Howar
ethey?
"
Lut
handokeptquiet
.Heseemedtobedr
ained
andhadlesshopeofli
fel
efti
nhi
m 
"
Lut
hando?
?"Iwhi
sper
ed

Hefi
nall
ylookedatusandhi
sey
eswer
e
bl
oodshotred..
Heleanedhi
shandsonhi
slaot
henagai
n
cov
eredhisf
ace..
.
.
..
itwasenought
otel
lushegotbednews 
.
.
Theempt inessst
ayedandi twascl
utter
edwith
asilentt
eardownt hatl
eftdrowni
ngintothi
nair
..
Isatont hechai
r,Ifel
tli
keIwaslosingmy
breath 
Baf
ana:
"Babyar
eyouokay
?"
Idi
dabr
eat
hingexer
cise 
Luthando: "
Theoper
ati
onwassuccessful
but
therei
saf i
ft
yper
centchancethatt
heymight
remov ethebabybecauseherbodyist
ooweak
tosuppor ti
t"
Al
oudsobi
nvol
unt
aryescapedmyl
i
ps.
..
Bafanaknel
tinf
rontofmeandtri
edtohushme
..
Itwasasadmomentf oral
lofus..
..
.
.
IsawBoineelotal
ki
ngtooneofthedoct
orsand
asmuchasIt iedtohol
dmyselfIcoul
dn'
tsoI
sl
ight
lypushedBafanaandwal
kedtowardsher
dir
ect
ion 
"kwenawher
eareyougoi
ng?
"ItwasBaf
ana
aski
ngbutIi
gnor
edhim..
.
.
Iwal
kedst
rai
ghtt
oBoi
neel
oandshesawme 
"
Kwe-
""Youdaught
erofabi
tch!
!!
"
Isai
dthatal
readyhav
inghernecki
nmy
Fi
standwasreadytotakeawaytheli
feinher
..
Shetr
iedtofi
ghtoffmebutthethoughtof
Boit
umelo'
sbabydyi
ngmademet i
ghtenupmy
fi
sts

TOBECONTI
NUED
Mot
her
'shat
red 
 
_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
[
04/
28,
18:
24]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t38
'
Youneverknowhowstrongy
ouareunt
ilbei
ng
st
rongi
stheonlychoi
ceyouhav
e'
-
Boi
tumel
o.
•
•
•
#Kwena

Thesecuri
tyguardsrushedtous,IswearI
wantedtokil
lher..
Whenev ershegaspedforai
r
,i
tgavememor epowertostrangl
etheli
feout
ofherbutt
hesecur i
ti
esstoppedus..
"Iwannaki
l
lthi
sbi
txh!
!"Ishout
edassecur
it
ies
hel
dmeback
Shecoughedhol
dingherneck..
Shecoul
dn'
t
evenst
optheherevil
tear
sfrom fl
owi
ng 
Baf
ana:
"Baby!
!"
Ii
gnor
edhi
m asIf
oughthar
dtogetoutoft
he
secur
it
y'
sgr
ip.
..
I
twasjustamessedupscenar
io,
all
eyeswer
e
onus.
..
Secur
it
y:"
Mam I
'
llneedy
out
opl
easel
eav
ethi
s
pl
ace!"
It
urnedt
oBoi
neel
o
"
Ihopey
oubur
ninhel
l!
"Ishout
ed 
Shejustsatdownandcont
inuednur
singher
neck 
Secur
it
y:"
Mam pl
ease!
"
Hespokeget
ti
ngcl
osert
omet
ohol
dmeagai
n
andl
eadmeoutsi
de
Baf
ana:
"It
sokay,
I'
ll
takei
tfr
om her
e"
Theguar
dsl
eftust
her
eandwal
kedbackt
othe
door
s 
Baf
ana:
"Kwenal
et'
sgo"
Il
ookedatBoineel
ooncemorebefor
ewalki
ng
out
.Ihonest
lywishshecoul
droti
nhell
,bot
h
herandhermot
her!
!
.
..
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina

Ismil
edwi derwhenIstoodont
hebalconyand
watchedthev iewandal
sosmel
ledt
hef r
eshair
ofSouthAf r
ica 
"You'
vebeenstandi
ngt
her
eti
l
lwel
andedi
nSA"
Shir
leyspokest
eatl
i
ngmeabit
 
It
urned 
Me:
"I
'mj
ustador
ingt
hev
iew"
Shesmi
l
ed 
Her
:"
Mom ar
eyouokay?
"
Ismi
l
edback 
Me:
"Iam okaymybaby,
I'
mjustt
hinki
ngof
Ret
habi
le"
Her
:"
CanweatleastSpendthedaythen
t
omorrowweshallt
alkabouther?
"
Me:
"Yeahr
ight,
I'
m sor
ry"
*
*Si
l
ence*
*
Her
:"
Okayokay.
.l
et'
stal
kabouti
tthen"
Isi
gheddeepl
y 
"Idon'
tknowifRet
habi
l
etol
dmydaught
erI
'
m
hermotherorwhat"
Her
:"
Hopef
ull
yshedi
d"
Ikeptqui
et 
Her
:"
I'
ll
cal
lLut
handot
ohookmeupwi
thhi
sPI
sowecanfi
ndwhereRet
habi
l
eis"
Me:
"Speaki
ngofLut
hando,
Ihav
etoseehi
m
t
omorrow"
Her
:"
Yeahy
oushoul
d"
Ismi
l
ed 
"
Thanky
ouf
orev
ery
thi
ngmybaby
"Ispoke 
Shesmi
l
ed 
.
..
..
.
..
.
.
..
.
..
Iam Chr
ist
inaOwens..
.
Growingup, thi
ngshaven'
tbeeneasyonmy
si
de...Iam whattheycal
lahumanbeast
becauseoft hesi
nsofmypar ent
s..
.

Onceuponat i
me, Myf at
herl eftmymot herfor
hunger.
HeleftherwithnothingandIwasonl y
13todoanything..
Itcamet oapoi ntwhereI
hadtosl
eepwi thmensoIcansuppor tboth
mom andI..
Icontinuedsleepingwi t
hment il
l
onedayIsl
eptwi t
hmybestf riend'
sboyfri
end
andunf ortunatelyenoughIf ellpr
egnantandI
onlyf oundoutatast ageof17weekst hatIwas
pregnant. Mybestf r
iend( Ret habil
e)alsof ound
outandshebur nedmewi thav er
yhotcooki ng
oilwhi chl eftav erybi gscaronmyl eftar m
..Andmor et othest or y, mybestf r
iendwas
alsopr egnantandhadal readymov edinwi th
herbabydaddy 'sf ami lyandIal sousedmy
pregnancyt obr ingf oodi nthehousesi ncewel l
theboy fri
end'shomewer efinancial
lyst able
...
Hisf ami l
ydidn' tall
owt hatsot heyendedup
forceful l
ymaki ngmemov einwi t
ht hem. .Trust
me, itwashel l..
.Bot ht hef ami l
yandmybest
fri
endmademyl i
feal ivinghel l..
Aftergiv i
ng
birt
ht heyki ckedmeoutl i
keadogandt ookmy
daught erawayf rom me. .
Lif
egotmor et ough
thaneasi erbecausemymot herhadal ready
passedonsoIwasal onet of aceallthe
challengesofl i
fe. .Ithenmov edtot hest reets
ofhillbrowandf ortunat elyenoughsomeman
tookmei nsoIcanwor kforhi m andheof fered
meal uxurylife..Bywor kingf orhi m hemeantI
sleepwi thhim andIdi d. .Themanwas25y ears
oldert hanme. .Hegav emet hebestl i
feev er
ti
ll hesuddenl ygott i
redofmeandst arted
abusi ngmebot hphy sically,sexual lyand
emot ionall
y..IrememberIf ellpregnantt hrough
thatandhewoul dbeatmeandki ckmeonmy
stomachsay ingi tsnothi sbaby. .
Igav ebi rthto
av eryador ablebabygi rlandnamedherShi rl
ey
...Iremai nedi nt hatabusi ver elationshipt o
raisemychi l
dandIdi d...16y ear slater,I
coul dn'ttakei tany mor eandt hat '
swhent he16
yearol dShirleyandIdeci dedt oki llherfather
andwedi d. .
Sot hat'
swhenIgotar restedbut
I'
m gl adev ery t
hingwasl eftinShi rley'
sname
..Mybabyt ookhersel ft oschool whileIwasi n
prisonandbyGod' sgraceshef inishedher
studi esandf oundempl oy ment. .
.
..
.
SoI'
m back,I
'm backformychi
l
dandt omake
thel
i
feofthatfamil
yincl
udi
ngRethabi
l
e'sa
l
ivi
nghell.
..
I'
m apersonwi
thnohear
tnowal
l
becauseofthem .
..
.
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

Isatonthechai
rcl
oset
oBoitumeloSeei
ngher
l
ikethatBr
okemetothecor
e. .
Shewasstil
l
unconsci
ous.
..
"
babypl
easecomebacktome. .Tousbecause
weal
lneedyou.
..
"Ispokehol
dingherhand 
Ihopedshewoul
drespondbutnon.
.
Il
etGIofherhandandcov
eredmyf
acewi
th
myhands 
"
Sheisst
rongandIknowshewi
l
lgett
hrough
t
his!
"
It
urned,
itwasKwenaspeaki
ng 
.
.Shewaswi
thBaf
ana 
Theymadet
hei
rwayi
n..
Me:
"Howdi
dyougeti
n?"
Baf
ana:
"Ihav
emyway
s."
Ichuckl
ed 
"
Howi
sshe?
"
Heasked 
Me:
"St
il
lthesame"
Kwenagotcl
osert
oherandsatdown.
Icoul
dseet
hatshewasal
sobr
oken 
Shet
ouchedBoi
tumel
o'
stummyandsmi
l
ed 
Her
:"Shehast
ofi
ghtf
ort
hechi
l
dtol
i
ve"
Wekeptqui
et.
..
.
..
Themachinesst
artedbeepi
ngveryf
astand
l
oudandBoi t
umelo'
sbodystar
tedshaki
ngver
y
badscar
ingus..
Istoodup
"
Babe!
!!
"Ishout
ed 
Mor
ethanf
ivedoct
orscamer
ushi
ngi
n 
Doc:
"I
'l
lneedy
out
opl
easest
epout"
Shespokerunni
ngt
othemachi
nesandot
her
s
runni
ngtoBoit
umel
o..
Ihonest
lydon'
tknowwhatwashappeni
ngt
o
Boit
umelo
Kwenacr
iedoutLoud 
Oneoft
hedoct
orspushedusoutandcl
osed
t
hedooronus.
..

TOBECONTI
NUED
[
04/
28,
18:
25]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t39

'
Everbeenbr
okentoapoi
ntwet
enothi
ng
makessenseinl
i
fe?Maybeyouhav
ebutby
y
ourownbl
ood?Idoubt!
!"
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Mom wasgetti
ngdischar
gedtoday.
.SoIhad
packedabagforhersoshewouldchange..I
drovei
nhercartothehospi
tal
..
.
..
AsIenteredthehospitalr
ecept
ion,Luthando
wassit
tingthereal
lalonebusyonhiscel l
phone
..
Myhear tbrokebecauseitwasobvious
Boit
umeloisinhospitalandheisheretosee
herobv
iously..
.
..
.
Apar
tofmej ustwant
edtoj
ustpasshim and
gost
raighttomom' swar
dbutanotherpar
tof
medidn'tal
l
owt hat
..
.
.
Iwalkedupt
ohim..Hewassti
l
lfocusedonhis
cel
l
phonebutsur
elyhecoul
dfeelmypresence..
Icl
ear
edmyt
hroat
 
"
Uhm .
.Luu?
"
Herai
sedhi sheadupandhisi
nti
midati
ngey
es
metmine..Ili
ter
all
yshi
ver
ed,whenhewould
gi
vemet hatlookIknewhewaspissed 
Me:
"I
..
.It
houghtIshoul
dcomegr
eety
ou"
Herai
sedhi
seyebr
owandmov
edhi
sfocus
backonhi
sphone 
Me:
"Lut
hLut
handopl
easet
alkt
ome"
Hekeptqui
et.Sur
elypeopl
ecoul
dseewhat
wasgoingon..
.
..
Il
oveLuthandoanseveryt
hingabouthi
mj ust
sendshi
versdownmyspi ne..Hecompl
etesme
andever
ytimeItr
ytoforgetabouthi
m,isthe
moremyl ovef
orhim gr
ows. .
"
Lu-
" 
Hel
ookedatme 
Hi
m:"Hayau'
phumeKuMi
newena!
(Leav
eme
i
nalonewena)
"
.
..
Isatont
hechai
rnextt
ohi
s 
"
BabyIknowi
...
"Isi
gheddeepl
y 
"
Lut
handoIl
ovey
ou.
."Icont
inued 
Hel
ookedatmeoncemor
e 
Hi
m:"
Whydidyourmothertur
nBoi
tumel
otoa
pr
ost
it
utei
nst
eadofyou? "
*
*Ouch!
!*
**
Ini
bbledmyli
psthi
nki
ngofananswerbecause
cl
earl
yheneededone
Me:
"Lut
handopl
ease?
"
Hestoodupandat t
emptedtowalkawaybutI
hadalreadystoodupwithhi
m andheldhi
sarm
..
Seeinghim neverwanti
nganyt
hingtodowit
h
meany mor er
eall
ybrokeme
Me:
"Lut
handopl
ease.
.Canwet
alk?
"
Het
urned 
Hi
m:"
Youwannat
alk?
"
Heaskedev
il
ly.
.
Inoddedmyheadyeswithtear
sthreateni
ngt
o
escapemyeyes.
.Isweari
fwewer en'ti
npubl
ic
hewouldski
nmeal i
ve 
Hi
m:"Iaskedy
ouaquesti
onory
ouwantmet
o
f
orceyoutoansweri
t?"
.
.
Theangeri
nhi
sey
eswasenought
otel
lmet
he
hat
redhehasf
orme.
.
**ButIthoughtBoit
umelosai
dshedatedhi
s
twinbrother,butwhyi
sitabigdeal
to
Luthando? **
Me:
"Lut
handoIdon'
tknowokay
?"
Hel
aughed.
.
Hi
m:"
Youdon'
tknow?Youdon'
tknow?
"
Heaskedget
ti
ngcl
osert
omeandholdingmy
wai
streal
l
yhardmaki
ngtear
sfi
nal
l
ydrop..
.
Thesecur
it
ymadehi
swayt
ous 
Sec:
"I
sev
ery
thi
ngokayher
e?"
Ikeptqui
etbit
ingmyl
i
pst
ost
opmysel
ffr
om
cryi
ngoutloud..
"
Isi
t?"Lut
handoasked 
Inodded 
Me:
"I
tisokaysi
r"
Sec:
"Ar
eyousur
e?"
Ikeptqui
etbutLut
handot
ight
enedhi
sgr
ipon
mywai st
 
.
.Inoddedr
epeat
edl
y 
Thesecur
it
ywal
kedaway

"Goodgir
l..
"Lut
handospokeassoonast
he
secur
it
ywalkedaway..

.
..
Iwasi
npai
nandhewasn'
tl
ett
inggo.
..
Me:
"Lut
handoy
ou'
rehur
ti
ngme.
..
"
"Oh?Butyoushotthemotherofmyunborn
baby.
.Don'
tyouthi
nkthi
spainisnot
hing
comparedtoher
s?"
Myey
espopped
Hel
aughedv
eryl
oud 
"
Nol
ongeri
npai
n?"
Me:
"Boi
..
Boi
tumel
o?"
Hemai
ntai
nedast
rai
ghtf
aceagai
n. 
"Bet
tergetr
eadyforwarbecausetrustmeIam
comingforbothyouandyouebitchassmother
"hewhisperedinmyearsbefor
ehel etgoand
satdownagain...
.
..
.
..
Iswear,t
hethoughtofitallgotreall
ydeepand
l
eftafeel
ingt
hatisunexplainable.Iwant
edto
godownonmykneesandl etitall
outbutIwas
i
nfear..
Irant
omama' swar d..
..
•
•
•
#Baf
ana

Kwena'
sbr
eaki
ngdownhasr
eal
l
yshownhow
muchshecar
esandl
ovesBoi
tumel
o..
Kwenahasalwaysbeenstrongandneverlet
anythi
nggettoherbutBoi
tumel
o'ssi
tuat
ion
brokeherdown..
.
.
Shecri
edti
l
lsl
eeptookoversoIdr
oveustomy
apar
tmentt
olethersl
eepandcoolof
f..
.
.
.
Iranherabubbl
ebaththenwait
edforhert
o
bathsoshewouldhavesomethi
ngtoeat
befor
ewecoulddri
vebacktothehospit
al.
.
.
Iwasonthestovepr
epar
inghersomethi
ngto
eatwhenther
ewasaknockont hedoor.
I
cl
osedthepotsandwal
edtoopenthedoorand
i
twasmom . .
.
.
"
Ma?
"
Shepushedmel
i
ght
lyandwal
l
edi
nsi
de 
Her
:"
Whyar
eyourandbr
other
'sphonesof
f?"
Me:
"Myphonei
sn'
tof
f"
Her
:"
Soy
our
eject
edmycal
l
s?"
Iwal
kedt
othest
ovet
oswi
tchi
tof
f 
Her
:"
What
'swr
ongwi
thy
ouandy
ourbr
other?
"
Ikeptqui
etst
il
l 
Her:"
BafanaIdi dn'trai
sey out
obeso
disr
espectful
..Firstl
yisyoudatinghooker
sand
noeisy ourbr
ot herreject
ingBoineel
o..
What'
s
yourproblem ?"
Me:
"Macanwenotdot
hisnow?
"
Her:
"Whendoyouwantustodoi
t?!
What
's
wrongwit
hyouMarahee?"
Me:
"Thenwhyar
eyoushout
ing?
"
Shecl
appedherhands 
"
Baf
ana?
"
Kwenamadeherwayi
n..
Shewasi
nmygown 
Mom:
"Real
l
yBaf
ana?
"
Iwal
kedupt
okwenaandki
ssedheef
orehead 
"
Howar
eyounow?
"Iasked 
Sheshr
uggedhershoul
der
s 
Mom:"You'
rest
il
lher
ewena?
"Sheasked
r
efer
ri
ngt oKwena 
Me:
"Avoi
dherbabe.
.Hav
esomet
hingt
oeatso
wecandri
veback"
Mom:"Soy
ouhav
emar
ri
edy
oursel
ftomy
son?
"
Me:
"Mom!
!"
Her:"
Yint
oni?Youthi
nkI'
llacceptwhat
ever
rubbi
shthat'
sgoi
ngonbet weeny ou?"
she
spokewithsomuchatti
tude 
Kwena:
"I
'l
lgochangesowecanl
eav
e"
Shewal
kedaway
 
"
Babe?
"Shei
gnor
edme.
.
Igavemom adeadst
arebef
orewal
ki
ngoutt
o
fol
lowKwena.
.
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Ital
lstar
tedli
kei t
salldr
eamsbutIcoul dtel
lit
s
noteveryt
imeIf el
thandsonmybody. .It
ri
edas
mucht orespondbackt othetouchmost l
y
especial
l
ywhenIhear sKwenav oi
ceandt he
tal
kfrom theheartofLuthandobutitwasall
hard..
Itwaslikemybodyhasbeenl ockedupin
hole.I
twasst i
ffandcouldn'
tevenmov e..When
Kwenasai dIshouldfi
ghthardfortheanyanger
t
ookov
erandj
don'
tknowwhathappenednext
..
.

TOBECONTI
NUED 
[
04/
28,
18:
26]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t40

'
Unti
lyou'
rebroken,youdon'
tlnowwhaty ou'
re
madeof.Itgi
vesy outheabi
l
itytobuil
dyoursel
f
al
loveragai
n, butstr
ongert
hanev er'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Ir
ushedt
oMomswar
d..
Thedoct
orwasst
il
l
i
nsi
deherwar
dnot
ingsomet
hingdownonhi
s
not
epad 
"
Her
eshei
s"mom sai
dasIent
ered 
Doct
or:
"MsMphahl
ele?
"
Ikeptquietandst
aredont
hef
loor.
Myey
esst
il
l
hadtears..
Mom:
"Boi
neel
oar
eyouokay
?"
Ikeptqui
etst
il
landwal
kedt
othewi
ndowand
star
edoutsi
de
Mom:
"Doct
orcany
oupl
easegi
veusamoment
?"
Thedoct
ornoddedbef
orewal
ki
ngout
Mom:
"Babyar
eyouokay?
"
Ishookmyheadno..
Iwant
edt
otal
kbutt
ear
s
blockedme.
.Iwasbr
oken.
.
Notonl
ybecauseofwhatLut
handosaidbut
al
sobecausehowhelookedatme..
Theanger
andhat
redInhi
seyeswastoomuchf ormeto
handl
e..
Mom st
oodupfr
om t
hehospi
tal
bedand
wal
keduptome 
Her
:"
Angel
tal
ktomommy"
"
Hehat
esmemom"If
inal
l
yut
ter
ed 
Her
:"
Whohat
eyou?
"
Sheaskedwi
thsomuchconcer
ninherv
oice.
.
Iwi
pedmyt
ear
s 
Me:
"Lut
hando.
.Hesai
dIshothi
sbabymommy
?"
Mom:
"Babymama?
Idon'
tunder
stand"
Me:"
Mom Boi
tumeloi
sevi
l.
.Shehasbeen
seei
ngLut
handobehi
ndmyback!"
Ishout
edwi
tht
ear
sst
il
li
nmyey
es 
Mom:
"Boi
tumel
o?Seei
ngLut
hando?"
Inodded 
Mom:
"Thatdaught
erofabi
tchwi
l
lknowme
wel
l!
!"
It
urned 
"Mom don'
tdoany
thi
ng.
.Lut
handowi
l
lcome
aft
erus"
Her
:"
Andy
out
hinkIf
earLut
hando?"
"
Youdon'
tknowLut
handol
i
keIdo!
"Ishout
ed 
Shekeptqui
et 
Isni
ff
ed 
Me:"
MaIloveLut
handoanditsqui
teobv
ious
Lut
handolov
esBoit
umelo!"
Mom si
ghed 
Her:"
Ishoulddosomethi
ng.
.Icannotlett
hat
daughterofabit
xhcomebetweeny ourand
Luthando'
shappiness"
Me:
"Ev
eni
fwedo,
hewon'
tst
opl
ovi
ngherma"
Iwi
pedt
het
ear
soncemor
e 
Her
:"
Notev
ery
thi
ng"
It
urnedt
oher
 
"
Whatdoy
oumean?
"
Iasked 
Her
:"
Madl
ami
n!"
Me:
"Nononono.
."
Her:"
Keng?Lov
epor
ti
oni
stheonl
ythi
ngt
hat
wil
lwork"
Ikeptqui
etasIt
houghtofi
t 
Mom:"
Therear
en'
tanyot
heropt
ions.
.Wecan
dot
hisbaby"
Me:
"Whati
fitdoesn'
twor
k?"
Her:
"Itwi
ll
wor kbutf
ir
stl
yweshouldl
ay
chargesonthatKwenagir
lsoshecoul
dbe
arr
ested"
Ikeptqui
et 
Mom:
"Thi
nkofi
tbaby"
It
urnedbackt
othewi
ndowast
hought
stook
ov
er!
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina

Every
thingwasgoi ngslowl
y,ver
yslowto
speci
fy...Luthando'
sphonehasbeenoffand
ther
e'snowayIwoul dfi
ndhisPI
'
scontactsi
fI
don'
tgethol dofhim...
.
.
Ist
oodont
hebal
conybusysmoki
ngci
gar
ett
es.
.
Shi
rl
eycameandst
oodwi
thme 
Me:
"Any
thi
ngonLut
hando?
"
Her
:"
Nah,I'
mt hi
nki
ngofgoi
ngtoLA!
qui
zto
l
ookforhi
m..Sur
elyImi
ghtf
indhi
mther
e"
Me:
"Youknowwhat,
I'
ll
got
oLA!
qui
zmysel
f"
Her:
"No!Youdoknowthatwhenev
eryou'
re
wit
hLuthandothi
ngsdon'
tendwel
l"
Me:
"Shi
rl
eyIwantmydaughterandLut
hando'
s
PIi
stheonl
ypersont
hatcouldhel
pme"
Her
:"
I'
ll
got
oLut
hando"
Me:
"NoShi
rl
ey!
Iwi
l
lgo"
Her
:"
Chr
i-
"
"
Don'tmakemewantt
ofucky
ouupShi
rl
ey
Owens!"
Shekeptqui
et 
Me:"
Govisi
tyourgi
rl
fr
iendorsomethi
ngandlet
mefindmydaughteri
npeacebecauseyou'
re
usel
essi
nthis!"
Shekeptqui
etst
il
l 
Me:
"You'
resuchauselesslawyerman!!
Nxa!
"I
wal
kedoutpissedofaft
ersayi
ngthat.
.
.
.
.
.
Agoodlawy
ercouldhav
eusedherlawyer
t
echni
questohel
pfondmydaughter.
..
.
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

Bei
ngatthehospit
al wasr eal
lyt
ir
ing
..
Boit
umelowasn'tmaki nganyprocessatal
l
butt
hedoctor
sassur edust hatshewil
lwake
upsoonaft
erthatincident..
.
.
IwasatLA!qui
zdri
nkingmyli
feout.
.Al
lI
neededwastogetdrunkandfor
getali
tt
le
aboutBoi
tumel
obecauseweedwasn'thelpi
ng
atall
..
Teemadehi
swayi
n 
Hi
m:"
TaLuu"
Me:
"Sur
e"
Hi
m:"
Ther
e'ssomeoneher
etoseey
ou"
Me:
"I
'm noti
nthemood,
tel
lthem I
'
m busy"
Hest
oodst
il
l,qui
et 
Me:
"Di
dn'
tIt
akemysel
fcl
ear?
"
Het
urned 
Me:"Getmeanotherbott
leofGl
enfi
ddi
ch
Excell
entwhi
skey,the26thbot
tl
e"
Het
urnedt
owal
kout
..
.
Igul
peddowntheremai
ninggl
assandpour
ed
myselfanot
herone.
.
"
Ncncncncst
il
ltheLut
handoIknow!
"
Imovedmyeyest
othedoorandmyj
awal
most
dr
opped.
.I
twasChri
sti
na.
.
Shehadhergunpoi
nti
ngatme.
. 
Il
aughed 
Me:
"Yout
hinkpoi
nti
ngagunatmewi
l
lst
opme
f
rom ki
l
li
ngy
ourass?
"
Shewalkedi
nput
ti
ngbackhergunont
he
waist
 
Her
:"
Lut
handoIneedy
ourhel
p"
Il
etoutanev
ill
augh 
Me:"Andwhatmakesyouthi
nkI,
Lut
hando
Tengeti
lewi
ll
hel
py ou?"
Shetookmygl
assandhel
pedhersel
font
he
whisky
Her
:"
Glenf
iddi
ch?You'
vegotgoodt
ast
ehey"
Iopenedthedr
awerandt
ookoutmygunand
cokedit
 
Me:
"Chr
ist
inawhatdoy
ouwant?
"
Her
:"
I'
m nol
ongermom Chr
ist
inanow?
"
Il
aughedst
il
l 
Me:"You'
rewasti
ngmypeacenowandt hat
's
pi
ssingmeof fcauseI
'
llenduppoppi
ngyour
br
ainsout!"
Her
:"
Andy
out
hinkI
'
m scar
ed 
?
"
Me:"
I'
m giv
ingyoufivesecondst
owal
kout
..
One..t
wo. .
.t
hree-
"
Her
:"
Okayokay.
Lut
handoIneedsomethingveryconfi
denti
al
andIneedyourPI
scontactsbecause 
Iknowhe
wil
lhel
p 
Il
aughed 
Me:
"Sur
elyy
ouknowy
ou'
vewast
edy
ourt
ime!
"
Her
:"
Lut
handopl
ease!"
Il
aughed 
Me:"
Chri
sti
naOwensbeggi
ng?
Thewor
ldhas
cometoanend!"
Ahwkeptqui
et 
Me:
"Woa?
Arey
ouser
ious?
"
Shenodded 
Me:"
Mypi i
sinGhananowbutIcangi
vey
ouhi
s
cont
ract
s"
Her
:"
Please"
ItookThomas'
sbusi
nesscar
dandhandedi
tto
her 
Me:
"Messwi
thhi
m Iwon'
thesi
tat
etoki
l
lyou"
Shesmi
l
ed 
Her
:"
Iowey
ou"
Me:
"Sur
eyoudo"
Shest
oodupt
owal
kout
 
Me:"
Yousi
tandt
ell
meal l
aboutbusi
nessand
l
if
eonabottl
eonwhisky.
.Thatwayy
ou'l
lbe
r
epayinme!"
Shesmi
l
edsi
tt
ingdown.
.
.
.
Chri
sti
naandIhavebeensocloset
hatpeopl
e
andmediathoughtshewasmysugarmama
butIswearChri
sti
naIsmorel
i
kemymot heri
n
cri
me. .
Thi
ngstur
nedsourwhenwebot hgot
arr
estedandshegaveawayourcardeal
ershi
p
l
eavingmewithnothi
ngbutatt
imesIgethappy
becauseshel
eftmetomakemyownl egacy

Tobecont
inued 
Mot
her
'shat
red 
 
[
04/
28,
18:
57]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t41

'
It
'sallanimpossi
blesi
tuat
ion,nonseemst o
makesense. .
Thewor l
dhasturnedagainstme
andIhav enoonetoleanonforstrengt
h
becausetheli
mpinggetswor se'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Kwena

Allmyli
fe,Ihaveneverhadanyguycar i
ngso
muchl i
keBafanadoes. .
.Heissotr
ue..
Hei s
notevenashamedofmeev enwhenheknow
halfmenofthisworldpointatmewhenev er
theyseemeandal lshout'Isel
ptwi
thher'
.He
doesn'
tcareandsti
llrespectsmewithall
my
fl
aws..
.
.
Isatoutsi
dehi
sapart
ment, att
hebalcony
smokingweedwhichheactuall
ydoesn'
tknow
thatIsmokeandgul
pingdownCRUZv i
ntage
vodka.
Iheardtheslidi
ngdoorl
eadingtothebal
cony
fr
om insidethehouseopeningandIqui
ckl
y
squashedt heweedandthrewitdown 
"
Baby!
!"Ispokeki
ndast
art
led 
Hecamecl
oser
 
Hi
m:"
Vint
agev
odka?"her
aisedhi
sey
ebr
ow 
Me:
"Ineedi
tBaf
ana"
Hekeptqui
et 
Me:
"Ar
eyouokay?
"
Him:
"Ihat
eweedf
rom t
hebot
tom ofmyhear
t,
youknow?"
*
**Achi
i
ii
***
Myl
i
pst
wiched 
"
Especi
all
yonawoman"hecont
inued 
Me:
"Baf
anaIneedt
ogetawayf
rom r
eal
i
ty"
Hi
m:"
Andy
ouknowIcanmov
eyouf
rom r
eal
i
ty
"
Hespokel
eani
ngonthebal
conybarhandl
eand
hel
pingmest
andbet
weenhislegs 
Hi
m:"
Ihav
egoodnewsf
ory
ou"
Me:
"Goodnews?
"
Iwaski
ndat
ipsy
Hehel
dmywai standbr
oughtmemor
ecl
oser
t
ohim andhi
slipsmetmine.
.
Wekissedf
oraf
ewsecondsbef
orehepul
l
ed
out
Him:
"Al
l
owmet
omakel
ovet
oyousoIcant
ell
you?
"
Inodded.
.I
t'
sbeenawhil
esi
nceIhadsexso
al
readyIwastur
nedon.
.
Ourl i
psmetagai nandt hi
sti
mear oundwe
kisseddeeply, ourkisswast hatoffwe're
hungryf oreachot her..
.Hi
shandwenti nside
myshi rttorubt hefleshbutstoppedmay be
that'
swhent her eal
i
t yt
hatwereout si
dehi thi
m.

"
Let'
sgoi
nsi
de"hesai
dwi
thhi
ssexybedr
oom
v
oice 
Me:
"Ienj
oysexout
side"
*
*It
hinki
twast
heal
cohol
tal
ki
ng*
*
Hebithi
slips..Maybehewasn' tsur
eofwhatI
wassayi
ng. .
.Ibroughtmylipsbackathim and
Fr
enchkissedhi m Herespondedtotheki
ss. .
I
want
edtobei ncontrol
,Iwantedhimtomoan
myname 
*
*Gi
rlpower
**
SoImov edmyhandsonhisv estgoingdownto
hi
storsothenhisbel
tandunbuckleditwhil
e
ki
ssi
ng..Hishandswereal
sor oamingaround
mybody. .
Ifi
nallymadei ttohi
szipsandunzi ppedhi s
tr
owserandpushedi tdownt ogetherwithhis
brief
sgoi ngdownonhi m andsof tl
yholding
downhi smanhoodandt onguepl ayi
ngwi thi
t
..
Hel etoutal oudgroan..Icontinuedtounge
pl
ay i
ngt i
llIful
l
ysli
ppeditinmymout h..And
start
edl i
ckinghimli
keal oll
ipop. .
Hedrov eme
mor ecrazywhenf unnysoundsescapedhi sli
ps
andhel donmyhai rtohelpme. ...
Ist
oppedaf
teraf
ewmi
nut
esandwentbackup
athi
m..
.
Ourey
esmet
 
"
Kwena?
"
"
Mm?
"
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyou!
"
.
..
Ial
mostchokedonmybr
eat
h!.
.
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

Ihadr ecei
vedacallthatBoitumeloisawake
..
.Ther ear
enowor dst hatcouldevenbeginto
discr
ibemyj oy..
Icouldn'tevencarethatIhad
hangov erf
rom dri
nki
ngt hewhol enight.
.
Idr
ovel
i
keamani
act
othehospi
tal
..
.
.
.
.
Istoodatthedoorandwat chedhert
alki
ngt
o
thedoctor..
Thedoctorseemedtobeobserv
ing
her..
Iadmiredseei
ngher

Eventhoughshewasareal
l
yweakbutIwas
happythatshewasawake.
.Thedoct
orf
inal
l
y
sawme 
Her
:"
Sir?
"
Ismi
l
edmaki
ngmywayi
n 
Me:
"Goodday?
"
Thedoct
orsmi
l
ed.
.
Her
:"
Hey.
.YoumustbeLut
hando?
"
Inodded 
Her:
"Icanseethesmi
leonherfacewhenwe
bot
hsawy ou..
Shehasbeenaskingabouty
ou
si
nceshewokeup"
Ismi
l
edev
enwi
der
 
Her
:"
Letmel
eav
eyout
ocat
chup"
Byt
hatbei
ngsai
d,shewal
kedout.
..
.
..
Isatont hechairnexttoherbed. ..
Iwant edto
saysomet hingbutnowor dscame, myt hroat
becamedr yi
nstantly..
West aredateachot her
andt herewer eal otoffeeli
ngsi nvolved
..Lookingateachot heralonepor tr
ay edav ery
deepcommuni cation..I
nherey es, Icouldsee
onlylov eandpai n..Theydistr
oy edmywoman!
At eardr oppedf r
om herey es..Asmuchasshe
tri
edt ohol ditback, i
twashar d. .
Themoment
alsomademet eary..
Istoodupandwal kedto
thewi ndowandst aredthroughi tbecausea
sil
entt eardroppedf rom myey et oo..
*
*OHGODILOVETHI
SWOMAN!
!*
**
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Iwaswi
thmom andLut
hando'
smom i
nmoms
bedr
oom .
.Hav
ingr
edwine.
.
Luthando'
smom st
oodupandhel
pedmasi
tup
str
aight 
Luu'
smom:
"Ret
habi
l
eyou'
l
lhur
tyoursel
f"
Mom l
aughed 
Her:
"Iam t
ryi
ngt
odot
hingsonmyown
Thabit
ha"
Luu'
smom:
"No"
Il
aughed 
Me:
"Letherhur
thersel
f"
Shesatdown 
Luu'
smom:
"Iwon'
tal
l
owt
hat!
"
*
*Si
l
ence*
*
Luu'
sMom: "Thabi
tha,
I'
mreal
l
ysor
ryabout
whatLut
handodid"
Mom si
ghed
Her
:"
It
sokayI
'l
ll
etLut
handoonl
ybecausehe
makesmydaught
erhappynj
e"
Ikeptqui
et 
Luusmom l
ookedatme 
Her:
"Hewi
ll
comeandapol
ogisef
orwhathe
sai
dtoyou..
Iknowhi
m,Iknowhelov
esyou"
Me:
"AndIl
ovehi
mtoo"
Shehel
dmyhand 
Her:
"Iwi
l
lmakesur
ethathet
reat
syouwel
land
sur
elyweshal
lwal
kyoudown 
t
heai
slev
erysoon"
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:
"I
'dbet
hehappi
estwomenonear
th"
Mom:
"Youmaki
ngmet
ear
yman!
"
Weal
ll
aughed 
.
.
It
hinkl
ovepor
ti
onwi
l
lbet
hebestchoi
ce.
..
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina

"
Hisphonei
sn'
tgoi
ngt
hrough"Ispoke 
Shir
ley:
"Sur
elyhe'
l
lcal
lwhenheseey
our
missedcall
"
Idr
ankt
hewhi
skey
 
Me:
"Hopef
ull
y"
Wekeptqui
et 
Me:"
Shi
rl
eyIneedyoutofindmeinf
oon
Ret
habi
lemostespeci
all
ywheresheleav
es
..
I'
mimpati
entnow!"
Her
:"
She'
sst
il
lusi
ngt
heMphahl
elesur
name?
"
Me:
"I
'm notsur
ebutIt
hinkshest
il
ldoes"
Her:
"I
'l
lal
somakecont
act
sthen.
."
Ikeptqui
etgul
pingdownt
hewhi
skey.
.
.
..

Tobecont
inued 
[
04/
28,
18:
58]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t42

'
Beingt r
eatedasahatedorphan,
feeli
ngli
kea
uselessorphan,l
ivi
ngli
keanunknownor phan
..
Yety ourmotherisst
il
ll
eavingi
nfleshonthi
s
worldhatingyoutothecor
e!!'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

"
Lut
hando.
..
"Iwhi
sper
ed.
.
Hefi
nal
l
ytur
nedtomeaft
eralmostanhourof
si
l
encei
ntheroom.
.Hi
seyeswerenowred..
Hi
m:"
Boi
tumel
o..
."
*
*Si
l
ence*
**
Me:
"I.
..
I.
"
Hewal
kedt
ome 
Hi
m:"
Shhhh"
Ikeptqui
et 
Hi
m:"
Iam happyBoi
tumel
o,ver
ymuchhappy
t
haty
ou'
refinal
l
yawake!Youworr
iedme.
."
Hesatdown 
Hi
m:"
Nev
erl
eav
emel
i
ket
hatagai
nBoi
tumel
o
.
.Il
ovey
ouandIr
eal
l
ydon'
twannal
osey
ou"
Me:
"Shhh.
."
Istoppedhim becauseIal
readyknowhowhe
feelaboutme. .
Deepinhiseyes,
itexpl
ains
deeperthanhiswords 
Me:
"You.
.y
oudon'
thav
etosayi
t".
Myv
oicewasabi
tlow 
Hesmi
l
ed.
..
.
.
IhavecriedtoseeLut
handoandyearnedtotal
k
tohim..IrememberhowIgotshot..
Howqui ck
everyt
hinghappened.
HowBoineeloint
roduced
him asherboyfr
iend.
..
.
No!
!
Ihav
ebeensleepi
ngwi
thmysi
ster
'sLut
hando,
myLuthando.
..
Tear
sescapedmyeyesagai
n..Iusedtheot
her
handtowi
pethem si
ncewel
ltheotheronewas
st
il
lpai
nful
 
Hesatonthever
geoft
hebedandt
ri
edtowi
pe
t
hosebutItur
nedmyheadt
otheot
hersi
de.
..
.
*
*Si
l
ence*
**
"Whodi
dyousl
eepwi
thf
ir
st.meormysi
ster?
"
If
inal
l
yasked 
Hesi
gheddeeper.
.
Hi
m:"
Babypl
ease"
Me:"
Lut
handoIneedt
oknow.
.whodi
dyou
sl
eepwit
hfir
st?"
Theangert
hatwasbui
l
dingupi
nmewasev
en
maki
ngmeshout 
Hi
m:"
You"
Il
aughedf
aci
ngt
heot
hersi
de 
Hecamet
heot
hersi
de 
Hi
m:"
Boi
tumel
oyoudon'
tunder
stand!
"
Me:
"Whatdon'
tIunder
stand?
Itooki
tthe
wrongway.Mysist
eri
syourgi
rl
fr
iendandI
'
m
j
ustthepr
osti
tut
eyou'
resl
eepi
ngwi t
h..
"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tl
oveBoi
neel
ookay!
!"Heshout
ed 
Him:"Boit
umeloIloveyou..
.Ihav
eneverfel
tthis
wayf oranyoneexpectforyou..
YesIadmitthat
IdatedBoineelobutIdi
dn'tknowshewasy our
si
sterandi twasn'
tanyt
hingoutoflov
e"
Me:
"Okay,
getout!
"
Hi
m:"
Boi
tumel
odon'
tdot
hat.
."
Iturnedandusedt
heonl
ypowerl
efti
nmeand
threwapill
owathi
m 
Me:
"Lut
handoIsai
dout!
Etswa!
!"
Hest
oodupt
owal
ktot
hedoor
 
Me:"Andanothert
hing,
I'
m abor
ti
ngthi
sbaby"
I
spokebefor
ehewoul dmakeitt
othedoor
 
Him:
"Iknowy
ou'
reangr
yandI
'
lll
ety
out
ocool
down"
Me:
"Iam abor
ti
ngi
t!!
I'
m ki
l
li
ngi
t!!
"Ishout
edi
n
t
ear
sandanger
 
Hewal
kedbackt
ome,
Iwassobbi
ng 
Him:
"Youdon'twantanotherbul
letholeI'
m sur
e
!Andthi
stimeitwil
lgostrai
ghttoy ourwomb! "
Hewalkedtotheaft
ersay i
ngthat.Itookthe
gl
assthathadwaternexttomeandt hrewitat
hi
m. .
.
•
•
•
#Kwena

Aft
erour"sex"sessi
onwet ookaquickshower
andrushedtothehospital
..AssoonasBafana
tol
dme, Icouldn'
twaitanymore..
All
Ineeded
wastoseeher. .
.
..
.
..
WemetLuthandoi
nt hepassage,
hewasf
rom
Boi
tumel
o'
swar d.
..
Heseemedpi
ssedorshoul
dsayanger
y 
Fana:
"Baf
o?"
Luu:
"Baf
o"
Me:
"HeyLut
hando?
"
Hi
m:"
HiKwena.
."
Me:
"I
ssher
eal
l
yawake?
"
Henodded 
Me:
"Letmel
eav
eyout
wo"
Ir
ushedt
oherwar
d..
.
AllIwant
edtodowast oscream injoyassoon
asImadei tt
othedoorbutIdidn'
twhenIf ound
hersobbi
ngsobadont hehospitalbed 
"
Baby?
"Iwal
kedupt
oher
 
Her:
"Kwena.
."Shespokest
il
li
ncr
ies 
Me:
"What
'swr
ong?
" 
Isai
dhuggi
ngherandhushi
ngherbackand
for
th 
Her:
"I
tsLut
hando.
..
"
.
..
.Il
ethercool
downal
i
ttl
e 
Me:
"What
'swr
ongNana?
"
Her:
"KwenaLuthandohasbeenseei
ngBoi
neel
o
..
Igotshotbecauseofhi
m. "
Iswal
l
owedhar
d 
Andmymout hcoul
dn'
thi
det
heshocki
nme,
i
t
hungopen 
"
Lut
hando?Boi
neel
o?"Iaskedi
ndi
sgust
Shenodded 
Me:
"Askiesbaby..
don'tst
ressyoursel
ftoo
much,itain'
tgoodforthebaby"
Me:
"Kwenaaboutt
hat.
..
"
Ilethergot
oli
stent
othenonsenseshe'
sabout
toutter
 
Her:
"Iwannaabor
tbuti
tsal
readyl
ate,
I'
m 15
weekstoday"
Isi
ghedsi
l
ent
lyi
nrel
i
ef 
Me:"
Getwel
l,we'
l
ltal
kaboutt
hatwheny
ou'
re
f
ull
yheal
ed"
Ikeptqui
et 
Me:
"Boi
tumel
oIl
ovey
ouokay?
"
"
Ilov
eyouKwena"Ismi
l
ed.
..
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Wewait
edforLuthando'
smom togothen
pr
epar
edourselv
est ogovi
sitMadl
amin.
..
Iwoul
dn'
tgowhil
eshewassti
llar
ound.
.Idon'
t
wanthi
mtohatemebecauseIgavehi
ssona
l
ovepor
ti
on.
..
Thedri
vether
ewaskindalongincl
udi
ngt
hat
wedidn'
tknowtheexactaddr
esssowewere
aski
ngaround..
.
Me:
"It
hinkwe'
rel
ostagai
n."
Her
:"
No.
..
Bar
il
eweuset
hisst
reett
il
ltheend"
Me:
"Buti
tsbeenal
mostanhoursi
ncedr
ivi
ng"
Mom:"Keepdr
ivi
ngBoi
neel
o..
Wel
lgett
her
e
soon"
Me:"
Butreal
lymom wecoul
d'
vej
ustv
isi
tedany
wi
tchdoctor"
Mom: "No,she'
sshet
hebest.
.Af
ri
endofmi
ne
oncerecommendedhert
omewhenIwasstil
l
pregnantwit
hyou"
.
.
Idrov
etil
lwesawabi gyar
dwheretherear
e
about10rondav
els/hut
s..
.Thewi
tchdoct
ors
wereoutsi
dedanci
ngandonehutwasal ot
di
ff
erentf
rom t
heothers..
Itwaspai
ntedi
n
bl
ackMom: "
See,we'r
efinall
yher
e"
Myhear
tstar
tedbeat
ingv
eryfast.
.Iwasn'
tsur
e
any
moreifIwant
edtodothi
sorwhat. .
.
..
Mom wal
kedoutoft
hecar
 
Her
:Ar
etsamay
e(l
et'
sgo)
!
Idraggedmysel
foutoft
hecarandf
oll
owed
her..
..
.

Tobecont
inued 
[
04/
28,
18:
58]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED

EXTRASHORT.
.

 I
nser
t43
'
Thehear
tisbl
eedi
ng,
mymi
ndhasbeen
detachedf
rom me.
.Iam j
ustaper
sonl
i
vingi
n
thenameofGod'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Thesoundsthatshemadewer escaryandI
couldn'
tbei
nt heroom ,
theherbswer en'
t
smel l
i
ngsonice..Wecouldn'
texactl
yseeher
face,herdr
eadlockscoveredi
t..
.
.
Webl ewinasmal l
ani
mal bagthathadbones
..Sheshookthebagconti
nuouslythenthr
ew
them onthematandmadeal lthosescary
soundsthenstoppedandlookedatus
Her
:"
Anger!
..
Iseeanger"
Mom:
"Si
yav
uma"
Hee:
"Youseethis?"Shesai
dpoi
nti
ngatt
wo
hear
tsatoneplace
Mom:
"Yebogogo"
Her:"Thesearetwosouls, t
heyarei
nloveand
there'snothi
ngthatcoul
dseparatet
hem ..Thei
r
l
ov eismeantt obeandt herear
ealotoftests
comi ngupont heirway.
.Therei
shat
red
surroundingtheirlov
e"
Myhear
tbr
oke.
..
Iknowforsuret
hatahwmeantLut
handoand
Boit
umelo..
.
Mom:"Weknow,wejustwantsomethi
ngt
hat
coul
dbreakt
hem up.
.Speci
fi
cal
lyl
ovepor
ti
on"
Shest
art
edmaki
ngt
hosef
unnysounds 
"Ogonent
weekagogobakgaoganya,ba
bof
il
we,babof
il
we(
Ther
e'snot
hingt
hatcoul
d
breakt
hem up.
Theyareti
edt
oget
her
,theyar
e
ti
ed!!)
"sheconti
nued 
"
PleaseMadl
ami
n..
"Mom pl
eaded
Her:
"I
nkinyelo..
Itispouredi nthebat hwat er
..
Onewi lluseittotheot herloverandt heot her
onewil
l growhat efortheonebat hedwi thitBut
i
fyouski paday, thingswi l
lgobackt onor mal
andthelov erwil
lregretandapol ogise..Oncei t
s
outofthebl ood..
Theirlovewi l
lbest ronger"
Mom:
"Whatar
etheconsequences?"
Her:
"Thel
overt
hatgr owhatr
ed, wi
l
l changehi
s
behavi
ourandwil
lstartsl
wwpingaround.He
wil
lbecomeaggressiveatal
lti
nes"
Mom:
"Okay,
wecanhandl
eit"
Shest
oodupandtookasmal
lpl
ast
icand
pl
aceditont
hef
loor
 
Her
:"
Usei
ttwi
ceaday"
Me:
"Thanky
ou"
Weputthemoneydownandtookt
heplast
ic
bef
orestandi
ngupandwal
ki
ngout..
.
..
.
I
tisagoodthi
ngt
ousetothem butthe
quest
ioni
showwil
lIgi
vei
ttoBoitumelo?
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina

Thomaswal
kedi
n..
Irai
sedmyhandsohe
woul
dseemeandhedidandwal
kedmyway.
.
.
.
Ihadcal
l
edhim andl
uckil
yhehadjustl
anded
i
nSouthAfr
icaandsuggestedweshoul
dmeet.
.
..
Ist
oodupt
owel
comehi
mfor
mal
l
yandwe
handshaked.
.
"
Hi,
I'
m-"
Him:
"Chr
ist
inaOwens,ev
ery
oneknowsabout
youandt
hatincl
udesme"
Ichuckl
edwhi
l
esi
tt
ingdown 
Me:
"Pi
tyIwon'
tsayt
hesameabouty
ou"
Heal
sochuckl
ed 
Hi
m:"
I'
m ThomasJef
fer
son.
."
Thewai
terbr
oughtourdr
inks 
Me:
"Al
readyor
der
ed,
Bel
l
sscot
chwhi
skey
?"
Hesmi
l
ed 
Hi
m:"
Myf
avour
it
e"
Het
ookt
hegl
ass 
Me:"
Togetdownt
obusi
ness,
Ineedy
out
ofi
nd
someonef
orme"
Hechuckl
ed 
Hi
m:"
Didt
heyt
ell
youIdon'
tcomecheap?
"
Me:
"Moneyai
n'
tpr
obl
em t
ome,
Ineedt
ofi
nd
mydaught
er"
Hesmi
l
ed 
Him:"
Justgi
vemet henameandsur
name,
I'
ll
getbacktoyoubef
oresunset"
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:
"That
'swhatIwannahear"
.
..
"Lastti
meIchecked,
shewasusingMphahl
ele
surname..I
'
m notsur
eifshefi
nal
lygotmar
ri
ed
toourbabydaddywhowasMokoena
...
Rethabi
l
e, Ret
habi
leMokoenaorMphahl
ele"
Isaid 
Hi
m:"
Ret
habi
l
eMokoenaorMphahl
ele.
."
Hewr
oteonhi
spad 
Hi
m:"
Letmenotwast
eti
meandgodmyj
ob"
Hesi
ppedhi
swhi
skeybef
orest
andi
ngup,
I
al
sost
oodup 
Me:
"Pl
easef
indherf
orme"
Hi
m:"
Inev
erdi
sappoi
nt"
Hewal kedawayaft
ersayingt
hat.
.Final
lyI
'
ll
beingthebit
xhdownandeetmydaught erf
or
thefi
rstti
mei ny
ears,Idon'
tevenknowwho
heemei s...
.
..
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o .

Myheartwasheav y..
Iwasapr osti
tuteandhad
accept
edthatitwasmyl i
fe..
.Ihadnost r
ess
andknewmyl i
f ehowi twasbutLut hando
cameinmyl i
feandcompl i
cateditmor e.
.Iam
nowpregnantwi thmysister
'sboyfri
end..Ican
notbegi
ntoexpl ainhowangryand
disappoi
ntediam InLut
hando..
Ihadexpect
ed
thebestfr
om him butmysist
er?Thatal
one
kil
ledmewi t
hin.
..
.
..
.
.
..
Tobecont
inued
Mot
her
'shat
red 
 

[
04/
28,
18:
59]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t44

'Ever
ychildhast hatmindwr it
tenmemor i
es
abouthowt heygr ewupt reat
edwi t
hloveand
carebytheirparentsbuttomei ti
sn'
t,t
heonly
memor yIhav eaboutgr owingup..I
sgrowingup
i
nawor ldfullofhatred.'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Kwena

Iwalkedinsi
deBoitumel
o'swardwi t
hapackof
frui
tsinhand..
Shewasl osti
ndeept hought
s
thatshedidn'
tevenfeel
mypr esence...
.
..
Icl
earedmythr
oat,
shef
inal
l
ylookedatmeand
smil
edfai
ntl
y 
"
Howl
onghav
eyoubeeni
nher
e?"
sheasked 
Ial
sosmi
l
ed 
"l
ongenoughtoseeyouwer
ei ndeepthought
s.
What
'soccupy
ingyourmi
nd?"Iasked 
Shet
ri
edt
osi
tupst
rai
ghtandIpl
acedt
he
f
rui
tsonherl
apandhel
pedher
 
Her
:"
Not
hing"
Me:
"Youwantmet
obeg?
"
Shechuckl
edbef
oreshecoul
dsi
ghdeepl
y 
Her
:"Iwannagetoutofher
e"
Ikeptqui
et.
.
Ihaveneverthoughtofi
t,shecannotgoback
totheresandshecan'tgobacktohermother
's
homeei t
her 
Her
:"
I.
..
"
Me:"I
'
llt
alktoLut
handotokeepyouinhi
s
houseti
llIf
indaplacef
orbothofus"
Her:
"KwenaIdon'twannabear
oundLuthando.I
am al
readyanenemyt omyfamil
yIdon'
t
wannabemor ethanthat"
Ir
oll
edmyey
es 
"Boi
tumel
ocan'
tyoujustfol
l
owyourhear
tfor
onceandfor
getaboutyourmot
her?"
Shekeptqui
et 
Iheldherhandsandl
ookedst
rai
ghti
nher
eyes..
. 
Me:"Boi
tumel oy ouhavesuf f
eredenoughonly
becausey ouhav ebeentryingtoimpressyour
mother..
Thi nkaboutthese, isther
eanychil
d
whoi mpressest hei
rparentsallbecauset
hey
wannabel oved?Idoubt.Babedoy ouand
for
getabouty ourmotherjustforonce"
Shekeptqui
et.
..
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Icouldn'
tthi
nkofawayt oapproachBoitumel
o
andgi v
eherthepor
ti
onIgotf rom Madlaminso
IthoughtIshoul
dvi
sitLuthandoandtryand
t
alkt
ohim..Maybehemightl
i
stent
omeandI
'
ll
t
hrowtheport
ionaway.
.
.
.
.
.
Honest
lyspeakingIlov
eLuthandoandIreal
l
y
wi
shhecoul dlovemebackbutIdon'twanthim
t
olovemet hroughthepor
ti
onbuthei sf
orci
ng
meto..
.
.
.
Thedr
ivetohisapart
mentwassuperl
ong,
I
wasner
v ousandalsoscar
ed.
.
.
.
Idi
dabr eathi
ngexerci
seswhenIstoodont he
door
way. .
Iwassurelyshaki
ngandIcoul dfeel
myselfgetti
ngmorescared..Thefi
rstknock
wasfaintandIpushedmyar m har
dt oknockso
hecouldhearit 
"
Comi
ng!
"
I
twashi
m 
Heopenedupafterafewminutesandhe
maint
ainedast
raightandi
nti
midat
ingl
ookof
hi
swhenhesawi twasme. ..
"
Lut
..
.uhm "Icl
ear
edmyt
hroat
 
Me:
"Canwet
alk?
"
Hechuckl
edev
il
ly
 
Hi
m:"Thedevi
li
stest
ingmypat
ienceher
e
!Wannatal
k?"
Me:
"Lut
handopl
ease.
..
"

Hekeptqui
et.
.
Imademywayi
n 
Hi
m:"
Youhav
eexact
ly30secondst
otal
k"
Me:
"Lut
hando.
.I.
."
Ikeptqui
et 
Hi
m:"
27.
.22.
.13.
.4.
.-
"
Me:
"Lut
handoIneedy
out
ounder
standt
hatI
di
ditoutofLov
e..
Idi
dn'
tmeant
ohur
ther"
Hel
aughed,
li
kel
i
ter
all
ylaughed 
Hi
m:"
So?
"
Iwentdownonmyknees.
.
Tearswer ealsoatthever
geofmyey es..
They
weresor eal,Iwantedtoshowhi m howsorr
yI
am .Ikneltdowninf r
ontofhim andatt
empted
toholdhishandsbuthemov edthem awayand
sli
ppedthem i nhi
spockets 
"Luthandoithurts!.
.IthurtsthatIcanonlysee
hatredinyourey es.I
thur tsthatIl
ovey oubut
youdontf eelthesamewayf orme. I
thur t
sthat
youar eintomysi ster.Luthandoplease,please
forgiv
emef orallmywr ongsandl etmel ove
you. .
."Thetearshadal readyescapedmyey es
.Iwant edtoseepi t
yi nhisey esbuttherewas
none 
Hi
m:"
Boineel
oI'
l
lbetell
i
ngyout
hisf
ort
hel
ast
t
ime.
.Il
oveyoursi
ster!
!"
Al
oudsobescapedmyl
i
ps 
Him:"
Boineel
oyoumadehersuf f
er.
Youwer e
supposetoprot
ectherfr
om yourmotherbutall
youdidwasenjoyi
ngluxur
yli
fewhil
ey oursi
ster
wasouttheresuff
eri
ngbecauseofyourmother
?" 
Hewasget
ti
ngmor
eangr
y 
Me:
"Lu.-
"
Hi
m:"
Boi
neel
ophuma!
"
Icriedoutl oudmoreandtri
edtobeghi m...
He
didt heunexpectedofhim,helit
erall
ygr
abbed
my28"Per uvi
anweaveanddraggedmeoutby
i
t..Iwascr yi
ngmorebecauseofthepainand
hurt. .
Luthandohasalwaysshownmehow
muchashat esmebutthis?I
twast heworst
..
Het hrewmeoutandshutt hedoorv er
yhard
l
eav ingmecr yi
ngsobadoutside...
.
•
•
•
#Ret
habi
l
e

Boineel
owasall
outandIhadtof
indawayt
o
getthatpor
ti
ont
oBoitumel
o..
Ialr
eadymi xedt
hepor
ti
oni
nmynewEl
i
gibl
e
Elksfoam bath.
..
.
.
Iwalkeddownstai
rsandThatowassi
tt
ingt
here
ty
pingsomet hi
ngonherphonewit
hatubofice
cream onthetabl
e 
"
CanIj
oin?
"
Shel
i
ftedherhead 
Her
:"
Koko?
"
Me:
"Hai
yvoet
sek!
"
Shel
aughed 
Her
:"
Aski
esgehAusi
Ret
ha!
"
Il
aughedwhi
l
esi
tt
ingont
hehi
ghchai
r 
Me:
"Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
"
Her
:"
I'
m busysear
chi
ngf
oraboar
dingschool
"
Ikeptqui
et.
.
.
..
Me:"
Arewebor
ingy
out
oapoi ntt
hatyouf
eel
youshoul
dgot
oaboar
dingschool?
"
Sheputt
hephoneont
het
abl
e 
Her:"
No..KokoI'
mi nthi
shouseallal
onemost
oftheti
me. .
Boineeloi
snoteventher
eor
shouldsaydoesn'tcar
eI'
m herchi
ld"
Me:'
'
Butbabyy
ouhav
eev
ery
thi
ngy
ouneedand
want"
Her:
"Kokot
hat'
sthethi
ng,Ineedmother
slove
notmoney.If
eell
ikegoi
ngtoboar
dingschool
i
stheonlyopt
ion"
Me:
"Buty
oudoknowIl
ovey
our
ight?
"
Her
:"
Ido"
*
*Si
l
ence*
*
Her
:"
Koko?
CanI.
..
canIv
isi
tBoi
tumel
o?"
Me:
"No!
"
Her
:"
Kokopl
ease.
Imi
ssher"
Ikeptqui
etf
orawhi
l
e..
I
thi
tmymi ndthatIshouldusehertogi
ve
Boi
tumel
othatfoam bath..
Isecr
etl
ysmil
ed
Me:
"Okay!
"
Her
:"
Ist
hatay
es?
"
Inodded 
Sheexci
tedl
yst
oodupandhuggedme 
"
Yey
!!
!"
 
Il
aughed
Me:
"Whoaoa.
.Chi
l
l"sheal
sol
aughed 
Me:"Sohaveyougotherany
thi
ng?Agif
tmay
be
becausereal
lyshecoul
dbehappyi
fyou
broughtheragif
t"
Shesatdownagai
n 
Her
:"
Ihav
enev
ert
houghtofi
treal
l
y"
Ismi
l
ed
Me:"You'
rel
uckybecauseyourgr
andmaalway
s
hasnewt hi
ngs..
SoIcanborrowyoumy
expensiv
efoam bat
hbutyoushouldbuyi
t"
Shesmi
l
ed 
Her
:"
You'
resuchal
i
fesav
erkoko!
"
Ismi
l
ed 
"
Any
thi
ngf
ormygr
anddaught
er!
"

TOBECONTI
NUED
[
04/
28,
19:
01]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t45

'
Iti
snevereasywaki
ngupi
nthemorning
knowi
ngy ou'
rewaki
ngupt
oaworl
df ull
of
hat
red!
!'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina

Thom couldn'
tcomeatnight,
Iassumehewas
sti
ll
diggi
ngsomei nf
o..
Hemetupwi thmei
n
themorning..
.
.
Hewasabi
tlat
esoIhador
der
edbr
eakf
asti
n
t
hemeant
ime..
Hemadehi
swayi
n 
Hi
m:"
Mor
ning,
I'
m sor
ryI
'
mlat
e,t
raf
fi
c"
Me:
"I
tsokay"
Hehandedmeabr
ownenv
elope 
Hi
m:"Thereiseveryt
hingyouneedaboutheri
n
t
here,herbusinesses,bankdet
ail
s,per
sonal
l
if
eindetail
..
It
ooki
tandopenedi
t 
Me:
"Thanky
ou"
Him:
"I
fImayask,
whati
sthaty
ouwantf
rom
her?
"
Me:
"Letmeputi
tasshemessedwi
tht
he
wr
ongperson"
Ispokegoingt
hrought
hepages,
ther
ewas
evenadiskandaUSBstick
Me:"
Thi
ssoundsint
eresti
ng,shei
sint
he
humantr
aff
icki
ngbusiness?
"
Thom:
"Yeahandappar
entl
yherotherdaught
er
i
sworki
ngforherasaprost
it
ute"
Iswall
owed, angerbui
lti
nwi
thi
n.Ther
eisa
highpossi
bil
i
tythatShehast
urnedmy
daughtert
oapr osti
tut
e?
Nonono!
!
Thom:
"Ar
eyouokay?
"
It
ookoutmychequebook 
Hi
m:"
No,
uset
hei
nfof
ir
stt
henpaymel
ater"
Ist
oodup 
Me:
"I
sheraddr
essi
nher
e?"
Hi
m:"
Ever
ythi
ng"
Me:
"Ishoul
dgetgoi
ng"
Itookmybagandtheenvel
opeandwalked
away,I'
m payi
ngRet
habi
l
eav i
sitshewoul
d
neverf
orget!
..
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Lastni
ghtIcr
iedmysel
ftosl
eep.
Myhear
twas
achi
ngandwasheav
y..Iwokeupwi
thpuf
fy
eyes.
.
Mom wasdownst
air
swi
thThat
ohav
ing
br
eakf
ast
 
"
Mor
ning?
"
Mom:
"Mor
ningAngel
,Howdi
dyousl
eep?
"
Ishr
uggedmyshoulders,Iwant
edtocrymy
l
ungsoutbutICoul
dn'tdoiti
nfr
ontofThat
o 
Il
ookedatThat
o 
Me:
"Whyar
eyoual
ldr
essedup?
"
Her
:"
I'
mvi
sit
ingauntBoi
tumel
o"
Il
ookedather
 
Mom:
"Youshoul
dgetgoi
ng"
That
ost
oodup 
Her
:"
Bye"
Shewal
kedout
 
Me:
"What
'sgoi
ngon?
"
Her
:"Ihav
eusedhert
ogi
veBoi
tumel
othe
por
ti
on"
Me:
"How?
"
Her
:"
Shei
svi
sit
ingherso-
"
Shekeptqui
etsi
ncewel
lLuu'
smom madeher
wayin 
Luu'
smom:
"Mor
ningFAM ?
"
Mom smi
l
ed 
Her
:"
Thabi
tha!
"
Luu'
smom cametomysideandhuggedme,I
hadtol
dhervi
acel
l
phonewhatLut
handodi
dto
me 
Her
:"
Ohmypoorbaby.
."
Me:
"I
tsokayma"
Her
:"
It
snot,
Lut
handoshoul
dtr
eaty
ouwi
th
r
espect!
"
Ikeptqui
et.
Mom:
"TheDev
ili
susi
nghi
m,heai
n'
thi
m sel
f"
Luu'
smom:"
Iknow.Ithi
nkIshoul
dfor
ceboth
hi
m andBaf
anatochurch,
Icannotst
andthi
s
anymor
e"
Mom:
"Al
lshal
lbewel
l"
Ikeptquiet
.It
rul
ywishtheport
ioncouldj
ust
work..
Ineedhi
mt ohateBoi
tumeloandIwill
pushhimt oapoi
ntthatheendsupkill
i
ngher!.
..
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Kwena:
"Ther
eyougo!
"
Shegavebackt
hedi
schar
gef
ormst
othe
doct
or.
.
Fi
nal
lyIwasget
ti
ngoutofher
e,butt
hethought
ofmovi
nginwit
hLut
handowasn'tsi
tt
ingwell
wi
thme.
..
Her
:"
Let
'sgobat
hyou"
Shehelpedmeup,
myhandsti
llhanda
bandagebutI
'
m gl
adIwasget
ti
ngbetter
..
.
..

Justwhenwewer eaboutwewer
eaboutto
walktothebat
hroom That
omadeherwayin.
.
Sheexci
tedl
yjumpedonme 
"
That
o!!
'
Shel
aughed 
Her
:"Sor
ryman.
.AuntKwena"
Kwenasmil
ed, buty
oucoul
dcl
ear
lyseet
hat
shewasfor
cinghersmi
le
Me:
"Whatbr
ingsy
ouher
e?"
Her
:"
Imi
ssedy
ou.
."
Kwena:
"Whot
oldy
oushei
sher
e?"
Her
:"
Koko.
."
Ikeptqui
et 
Shehandedmeagi
ftbag 
Her
:"
Igoty
ousomet
hing"
Ismi
l
edandt
ooki
t,Iopenedi
t 
"El
i
gibl
eEl
ks?Itmusthav
ecosty
ouf
ort
unes!
"
Kwenaspoke 
Thato:
"Kokoboughti
tbutshewant
sitback
causeIaskedhert
ogivei
ttomethenI'
ll
repl
aceit"
Kwena:
"Thatdoesn'
tmakesense"
Me:
"Kwenapl
ease!
"
Shekeptqui
et 
Me:
"Thanky
ouNana!
 
Kwena:
"Let
'sgobat
h!"
That
o:"
I'
ll
bewai
ti
ngi
nher
e"
Igav
ehert
hef
oam bat
h
Me:"
I'
ll
unsei
nspeci
aloccasi
ons,
packi
tinmy
bag"
.
..
Wewal
kedout.
..
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina

HerhousewasbiggerthanIhadant i
cipat
ed
..
TherewasablackrangeRov ersport,whit
e
meecedezbenzecclassandmi nniecopper
par
kedoutsi
de..
Shi
rl
eyaskedt
ocomewi
thme.
..
Iusedmycardtoopent
hegate(
Itopens
every
thi
ng..
Igoti
tfr
om af
ri
endofminein
Germany)
.
.
Wemadeourwayi
nsi
de.
.
I
twasRet
habi
l
e,agi
rland.
..
Awoman 
Il
eanedont
hedoorwal
loft
hesi
tt
ingr
oom 
"
Ladi
es?
"
Theyal
ll
ookedatus.
.
Ret
habi
l
est
oodupwhenshesawi
twasme 
Her
:"
Chr
is.
.Chr
ist
ina?
"
Shewasshockedt
oseeme 
Imademywayi
nfol
l
owedbyShi
rl
ey 
Me:
"I
nfl
esh!
"
Il
ookedatt
hewomen,
ifwasThabi
tha
Me:
"Thabi
tha?
"
Her
:"
Chr
issy?
"
Thabi
thaandIhadknowneachot
herv
ia
Lut
hando..
Shest
oodupandhuggedme 
.
.
Iwal
kedupt
oRet
habi
l
e 
"
I'
m her
eforwhat
'
smi
ne?
"
Sheswal
l
owed 
Thegi
rl:
"Mom i
sev
ery
thi
ngokay?
"
Il
ookedatherandwal
kedupt
oher.
Iwassur
e
shei
snotmydaughter.
.
"Iguessshei
sy ou'
redaught
er?
Iof
fer
edhermy
hand.I'
m Chr
ist
ina"
Shegav
eouther
stoo 
"
Boi
neel
o"
Il
ookedatRet
ha 
Me:
"Wher
eisy
ourot
herdaught
er?
"
Shekeptqui
et 
Thabi
tha:
"Uhthatone?
Youdon'
twannaknow
.Shei
suselessnje"
Ir
aisedmyey
ebr
ow 
Me:
"Wenzeni
?"
Thabi
tha:"
Sheisaprost
it
ute.Di
srespect
ful
and
Andneverthi
nksofhermother!
"
.
.
It
urnedt
oBoi
neel
o 
Me:
"NanacanIt
alkt
oyourmot
her?
Alone?
"
Shest
oodupandwal
kedaway
 
Me:
"Ret
habi
l
ewher
eisy
ourot
herdaught
er?
"
Her:
"Dead!
"
Il
aughed.
.
Iqui
cklyt
ookoutmygunf
rom mywai
stmaki
ng
Thabi
thascr
eam
Shi
rl
ey:
"Mom pl
ease!
!"
Me:
"Shi
rl
eyst
ayt
hef
uckawayf
rom t
his"
Ret
habi
l
e:"
Yout
hinkI
'
m scar
ed?
"
Ichokedt
hegunandshotherl
eftl
eg.
Shescr
eamedi
nfear
 
Thabit
hawasaboutt
ofi
ndawaywhenIshot
thecei
li
ng 
Me:
"Thabi
thay
oudon'
twannamesswi
thme!
"
Shesl
owl
ytur
ned,
shewast
rembl
i
ng 
Me:"
Ret
habil
eI'
m aski
ngfort
hel
astt
ime,
wherei
syourdaught
er?"
Shewascr
ying 
Il
oveagai
nshotherl
eftl
egshef
ell
othe
gr
oundandcri
ed 
Shi
rl
ey:
"Chr
issypl
ea.
..
"
Iavoi
dedherandwalkeduptoRet
habi
l
eand
point
edthegunonherwhil
eshewasonthe
fl
oor 
Her:
"Chrissypl
easedon'
tki
l
lme,
Ihav
ea
daughterdependi
ngonme! "
Il
aughed 
Me:"
Iwon'
tki
l
lyouj
usty
et,
WHEREI
SYOUR
DAUGHTER?!"
Her:
"Okayokayokay.
..
Shei
shospi
tal
,Johannesbur
gPri
vat
ehospi
tal
!"
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:"I
'
m givi
ngyoufourhour
sandI'
l
lbebackf
or
her!LetInotf
indher?"
Ishookmyhead 
"
Ncncncncnc"
It
urnedandwalkedtot
hedoorandr
anmygun
onThabi
tha'
sface 
Me:
"Seey
ouar
oundgi
rlf
ri
end!
"

Iwal
kedout
[
04/
28,
19:
02]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t46

'
Thesmi
l
eonmyf
acehi
deal
otofbr
uises.
t
heyhidet
hepai
nthatmymot
herhascaused
me..
Theyhi
dethescar
sandt
hewoundsofmy
mother
'shat
red!
'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Kwena

Somethingwasn' tsitt
ingwellwithmeatall
..
Thatomi ghtbeachi ldandalsocluel
ess
aboutlif
ebutIfeltlikeshewasbei ngusedint
o
something..
Boitumel odidn'
tallowmet oshar
e
myopi ni
onsandt houghtsabouteveryt
hingsoI
j
ustletherbe..
.
.
.
.
Thatot
ookataxihomeandBaf anafet
ched
Boit
umeloandI.
.Iwassuperexcit
edthatshe
wasf
inal
lyoutbutshedid'
ntseem happy,
she
wasj
ustawfull
yquiet
..
.
..
.
.
Luthandowasn'tar
oundbuthehadgav
ethe
apartmentkey
st oBaf
ana 
"We'r
eFinal
l
yhome"Ispokepl
aci
ngherbagon
thet
able 
Shesatdown 
Baf
ana:
"Shoul
dIgety
ouany
thi
ngt
odr
ink?
"
Boi
tumel
o:"
No,
Ijustneedt
oli
edownabi
t"
Me:
"Shoul
dIhel
pyou?
"
Her
:"
No,
I'
ll
beokay"
Shest
oodupandwal
kedupst
air
s 
"
Shedoesn'
tl
ookokay"Baf
anasai
d 
Isatdownwhi
l
elet
ti
ngoutaheav
ysi
gh 
Me:
"Idon'
tknowwhatt
odoany
mor
e"
Hecamet omysideandmademest andi
n
betweenhi
slegswhi
lehecar
eful
l
yleanedhi
s
backonthetabl
e 
"
Shewil
lbeokay.Shei
sstil
ltr
yingt
ofi
ndaway
f
orwar
dfrom her
e"Bafanasaid 
Me:
"Butshei
sst
ressi
ngt
hebaby
"
Hesmi
l
ed
Him:
"You'
recar
ingandIl
ovey
ouf
ort
haty
ou
know?"
Ial
sosmi
l
ed 
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"
Thatmusthav
ecaughthi
m,hesmi
l
edwi
der
befor
ehecoul
dki
ssme. .
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina
Igulpeddownthewhi
skeyoncemor e..
Even
thoughitwashotonmythroat,
Icoul
dn'tf
eeli
t
..Ij
ustneededsomet
hingstr
ongtocalm my
nervesdown..
"
Whooaaa!
!"
Il
ookedathi
m
Me:
"Shei
smessi
ngwi
thmeLut
hando!
!"
Him:
"Youhavebeenspeaki
ngi
nri
ddl
essi
nce
yougother
e..
What'sgoi
ngon?"
Ist
oodupandpacedal
lar
oundbutst
opped 
Me:"
Ineedyou..
Ineedustot
akesomeone'
s
busi
nessesawayfr
om her
"
Hel
eanedbackonhi
schai
r 
Hi
m:"
Ithi
nkI
'
lll
i
ket
his"
Me:
"Gety
ourl
awy
ersr
eady!
"
Ipour
edanothergl
assofwhi
skeyandgul
pedi
t
oncemore 
Him:
"OkayChr
issy,
canwet
alknow.
.What
's
goi
ngon? "
Me:
"Lut
handoar
eyoui
norout?
"
Him:
"Icannotbei
nwhi
l
eIdon'
tknowwhat
'
s
goi
ngon"
Me:"
Thebit
chhast
urnedmydaught
eri
nto
somethi
ngbad"
Lut
hando'
sey
espopped 
Hi
m:"
Youf
oundy
ourl
ongl
ostdaught
er?
"
Il
ookedathi
m 
Me:
"Ar
eyouf
orr
eal
now?
"
Hekeptqui
et.
..
Isatdownagai
n 
Me:"Lut
handoi'
l
lneedyoumoret
hanevernow
..
Shehast wodaught
ersandt
hati
ncl
udesmine
butsheisabusi
ngmine"
Hewhi
stl
ed 
Hi
m:"
Soy
ouwanti
sust
oki
l
lher?
"
Isatdown 
Me:
"That
'st
ooeasy"
Hi
m:"
Whydon'
tyouuseShi
rl
ey?
"
Me:"
Sheissuchachi
ckent
hatonesoIdon'
t
wantheri
nthis"
Hekeptqui
et 
Me:
"Lut
handopl
ease"
Ibegged 
Hest
oodupandt
ookhi
sphone 
"l
etmemakeaf
ewcal
l
sthen"
Ismi
l
ed,
hewal
kedaway.
..
.
..
..
Lut
handoandImaysomehowbeenemiesbut
whatIl
oveabouthi
misheal
waysgotmyback
!!
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Luthando'
smom andIhav
ebeensi
tt
ingatt
he
hospit
alwait
ingar
ea.
..
Thedoct
orshadtorushmymot
hert
otheat
re
foremer
gencyoper
ati
on..
Ihav
ebeencr
yingandt
het
ear
scoul
dn'
tst
op.
.

Whowast
hatev
ily
etbeaut
if
ulwoman?
Whydi
dsheshootmymot
hersocr
uel
l
y?
Ormay
bewear
ecur
sed?
Thosequest
ionsraninmymi ndandt
her
ewas
noonetoanswerthem exceptf
ormymother
whoisincri
ti
calst
ate..
.
Thabi
thabr
ushedmyback 
Her
:"
Shewi
l
lbeokayNana"
Iwi
pedt
het
ear
swi
tht
hebackofmyhand 
Me:"
Whymama?
Whydi
dsheshootherso
cr
uell
y?"
Her
:"
Shehadherr
easons"
Ist
oodup 
Me:
"I
'm goi
ngt
othepol
i
ce!
!"
Sheal
sost
oodup 
Her
:"
Nononono!
"
Il
ookedather
 
Her:
"Thatwomani sdanger
ousmybaby. .
Sheis
capableofdoinganythi
ng..
Thewor l
dfearher
andIdon'tt
hinkshewoul dshootyourmother
knowingthepolicewouldarr
esther"
Il
aughedbi
tt
erl
y 
Me:"
Areyouforr
ealnow?Mymotherisint
her
e
dyi
ngandwenay ou'
l
lcomeher
eandtell
me
sheisdanger
ous?"
Shekeptqui
et 
Il
etherandwal
kedout.
.Thatwomanwi
l
lknow
mewell!!
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

AsmuchasIt
riedt
osl
eepandignorethepai
n,
thepai
nwast
oomuchtobeignored..
.
Ihav
eKwenabutt
het
rut
hissheal
sohav
ea
l
ifet
oli
ve.
. 
Iam pr
egnantandhav
enot
hing.
..
.
..
Icurl
edmyselfuponthecor
neroft
hebedas
anger,hat
redtowar
dsmyselfandl
onel
i
ness
hitmehard..
.
..
..
Iwant
edjustdr
inkti
llIcoul
dgetnumbtof
eel
myselfmaybegett
ingdrunkwil
lkeepmeaway
fr
om t
hismiser
y...
Igatheredt hest rengt
handf orcedmysel fto
walkt otheki tchenandfindsomet hi
ngstrong
todrinkbutKwenawast her ewithBafana
l
ookingal lcosy ..ForamomentIadmi r
edthem
butreali
tyki ckedi nwhent hekit
chendoor
openedandLut handowal kedIn..
.Oureyesmet  
Hi
m:"
Hey?
"
Iswal
l
owed 
Me:
"Hi
...
"
Kwenast
oodf
rom t
hecouchandwal
kedt
ous 
Her
:"
Luu?
"
Lut
handot
urnedt
oher
Hi
m:"
Thanksf
orbr
ingi
ngherhome"
Kwenasmi
l
ed 
Lut
hando:
"Canwet
alk?
"
Hespokel
ooki
ngatme 
Ikeptqui
et
Hegaveouthi
shandtomeandIhesi
tant
ly
t
ookitt
henledustot
ohisbedr
oom .
..
.
..
.
..

Assoonaswewalkedi
nhi
sbedr
oom ,
I
expect
edhi
mtospurt
 
"I
'
m sorr
y"butheturnedtomeandpickedme
upmakingmewr apmyl egsal
lar
oundhiswai
st
andpassi
onatel
ykissedme..
Imissedhim,imissedt
hosesweet,
thi
ck,
wet
andsoftl
ipsofhi
s...
JustwhenIwasl
osti
nawor
ldofPassi
onhe
pul
ledaway 
"
I'
m sorr
y..
."Hewhisperedi
nbet
weenmyl
i
ps
makingmeshiverali
tt
le 
Ibi
tmyl
i
ps 
"Ihaveneverfel
tthi
swayf oranyoneexceptfor
you..BabeIain'
tper
fect,
Ihav emyflawsandall
I'
m askingyouistobepatientwithmeand
all
owmet oloveyouandlovet hi
ssoulyou'
re
carry
ing..
"
Heagai
nwhi
sper
ed 
Ikeptqui
etst
il
l.
..
Heslammedhi sl i
psonmi neoncemor eand
thi
stimearoundi twasfil
ledwithloveand
dif
fer
entemot i
ons. .
.Heledmet obedand
caref
ull
yplacedmewhi l
ehel ai
dont opofme
butcaref
ull
ybecausesur elymy" babybump"
waskindashowi ng..
Thenr
anhistongueonmyneckgoi ngupmy
ear
sandranhishandonmybr east
sgoing
downmybell
y..That
'swhenhestoppedand
l
ookedatme..Hesmiled 
"
Ilov
eyouguy
s"
AsmuchasIwant
ednott
osmi
l
ebutf
oundmy
sel
fal
sosmi
li
ng..
..

TOBECONTI
NUED 
Mot
her
'shat
red 
[
04/
28,
19:
03]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t47

'
Everyti
meIl oseit,Il
ookbacktowhatI
'
ve
beenthrough, hopi
ngIwouldfi
ndmyway..
The
pastwil
lforeverbemycompassi nl
i
fe..
'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o
Aft
erourlongsessi
onofmakingloveand
communicati
ngthroughouremoti
ons, we
deci
dedtohitalongshowerandspiceditup
wit
hanotherround..
..
.
.
Iwalkedoutoftheshowerfi
rstthendriedmy
sel
fbeforewalki
ngbacktothebedr oom formy
cl
othes,Luthandoal
sofoll
owed. .
Hehugged
mef rom behi
ndwhil
eIwasst i
ll
loti
oningmy
body 
"Ir
eal
lywi
shwecoul
dspendt
hedayi
nher
e"
hespokeni
bbl
i
ngmyear 
Ichuckl
ed 
Me:
"Seemsli
keyouhav
efor
gotKwenaand
Baf
anaarest
il
lar
ound"
Het
urnedmear
oundt
ofacehi
m 
Him:
"I
'm sur
etheyarealsodoi
ngwhatwe'
re
doi
ngintheotherbedr
oom "
Her
anhi
stongueonmyneck,
hedi
dthaton
purposeknowi
nghowmuchi tt
urnsmeon.
.Il
et
outasoftmoanthenchuckl
ed 
Me:
"Lut
handoI
'
m hungr
y"
Hel
aughedwhi
l
elet
ti
ngmego.
.

Iwal
kedt
othecl
osetandt
ookhi
sgown 
Hi
m:"
Babe?
"
Me:
"Mmh?
"
Hekeptqui
et.
.
Iwal
kedbackt
ohi
m 
Hi
m:"
Howar
eyou?
"
Idi
dn'tknowhowtoanswerthatquesti
on
becausehonest
lyspeaki
ng,
Idon'tknowhow
am I 
.
..
.
Iam awomanwho'
shi
dingherpai
nbehi
ndher
smil
i
ngface.
Iam wear
ingamaskofhappi
nessbutt
het
rut
h
i
s,Iam bl
eedi
ngint
ernal
l
y..
.
Myhear
tisbr
okenbutphy
sical
l
yIam act
ing
st
rong.
.
ButwasIsupposet
oanswerbyt
hosewor
ds?
.
..
.
..
Hesatont
hebedwhi
l
eIact
ual
l
yjoi
nedhi
m 
Him:"Wenev err
eall
ygotti
metochat.You
nevertoldmehowy oufeelorr
athersayInev
er
askedy ouhowy ouare?"
Il
etoutaheavysigh,itwasamomentt
hatI
act
uall
yneverhadinmyl i
fe,
that
'
samoment
oft
ruecommuni cat
ion 
"
LuthandoIdon'
tknow..
."If
inal
lysai
dina
v
oicethatwasbeneat
hmyv oice 
"
Comeher
e"
Heof
fer
edhi
shandandIt
ooki
tthenhel
ped
mesi
tonhi
slap 
Him:"
Youdon'thavet
opushy oursel
ftot
ell
me
howy oufeel
becauseyou'
l
lendupl y
ingt
ome
butIneedyoutopromisemeonet hi
ng?"
Ikeptqui
et 
Hi
m:"
Boi
tumel
o?"
Me:
"YeahLut
hando?"
Hi
m:"
Promi
semey
ou'
l
lal
l
owmei
nmybaby
's
l
if
e?"
Ikeptqui
et 
Hel
ookedatme 
Hi
m:"Iwantbot
hmychi
ldr
entoknoweach
ot
herandfindt
imet
obond"
Ikeptqui
etwhi
lel
ett
ingmymi
ndr
undeepi
na
worldoft
hought
s..
.
.
.
Honest
lyspeaki
ng,t
hingsbet
weenLut
hando
andImightbewell
fornowbutIai
n'
treadyt
o
meamot
her
..
..
•
•
•
#Chr
sit
ina

"Chri
ssyI'
l
l asky ouforthel
astti
me, wher
eis
theweapony ouusedt oshootMrsMokoena?"
Detecti
veLeonaskedoncemor e,we'
vebeen
seatedinthei nt
errogat
ionroom f
ormorethan
anhournow. .

Itt
urnsoutRet
habi
l
e'sdaught
erl
aidchar
ges
againstme.
Me:"LeonI'
l
lal
sobet
ell
i
ngy
oufort
helastt
ime
.IDON'TKNOW WHATYOU'
RETALKING
ABOUT! !
"
Hest
oodupandhi
tthet
abl
ever
yhar
d 
Him:"
Soyou'
resayi
ngthatal
ltheev
idencet
hat
showsyoushotheri
salie?"
Ichuckl
ed 
Me:"
Foradetect
ive,
you'
resostupi
dasusel
ess
..
Whydon'ty
ouuset hatevi
dencet
oarr
estme?
Act
uall
ywhereistheevi
dence?"
Hi
m:"DAMNITMANCHRI STI
NAOWENS!!Why
t
hefuckdi
dyoushoott
hepoorwoman?
"
.
..
Me:"
Leonareyougoi
ngt
oar
restmeory
ouj
ust
enj
oyharassi
ngme?"
Hesatdownwhi
l
ebal
anci
nghi
spenonhi
s
mouth 
Hi
m:"
Iwi
l
lar
resty
ousoon.
..
.
VERYSOON!
"
Ist
oodup 
Me:"
Yourefuckenwast
ingmyt
ime,Icoul
dbe
outt
herefi
ndingmydaught
ery
etyou'
reher
e
pl
ayi
ngt
ri
ckygameswi
thme"
Heal
sost
oodupandchuckl
ed 
Hi
m:"
Ist
hatt
her
easonwhyy
oushother?
"
Me:"Wher
edoest
hatcomei
nwi
thf
indi
ngmy
daught
er?"
Ispokegi
vi
nghi
m somuchat
ti
tude 
Hi
m:"
We'
reget
ti
ngt
her
e"hesmi
l
ed 
"
Mxm fucky
ou!"Ispoketaki
ngmybi ker
j
acket
sandwalkedoutofthei
nterr
ogation
r
oom ,I
fhewanttoarr
estmet henhe'l
lfol
low
me!
.
..
•
•
•
#Ret
habi
l
e 
Mysoul
wassl
owi
ngl
eav
ingmybody,
asmuch
asIt
ri
edhar
dtohol
dont
ightf
ormydaught
er.
.
I
twashar
d.
Itr
iedt
oal
soopenmyeyesbutt
hepai
nwas
toomuchf
ormetohandl
e..
Itwasamat terofli
feanddeath,Iwantedto
diebecauseIcouldn'
tbearthepainiwasinand
IalsowantedtoholdontolifebecauseI
couldn'
tl
eavemydaught erallal
one...

•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Atti
mesl
iket
his,
you'
l
lendupf
orci
ngy
oursel
f
topr
ay.
..
Ihavebeent
ryi
ngt
ocl
osemyey esandt
alk
thr
oughmyhearwi
thGodbuti
tfail
edme..
Iopenedmyey
esandsi
ghed 
"Youdon'thav
etofor
ceper
fectwordstopr
ay,
allt
hatcomesinmindandal
lthatbot
hersy
ou
will
justutt
eri
tsel
f"
It
urnedanditwasLuthando'
smotherst
andi
ng
onthedoorwayholdi
ngacupoftea 
Shewal
kedupt
ome 
Her:
"Iknowhowi
tfeel
s"shegav
emet
hecup 
Her
:"I
tsastr
ongcof
fee,
Iusei
twhenmyhear
t
i
sheavey"
Ist
oodf
rom t
hef
loorandsatont
hebed 
Me:
"I
'mj
ustgl
adt
hepol
i
cear
rest
edher"
Shekeptqui
et 
"
Imi
ssLut
hando.
."I
tcameoutasawhi
sper
 
Shesmi
l
ed 
Hi
m:"
Youdonthav
etofeelashamedf
orsay
ing
t
hat,
Iknowhemissesyoutoo.
I
t'
sjustpr
idet
hat
'skeepi
nghi
m awayf
rom y
ou
"
*
*Si
l
ence*
*
Shesmi
l
ed 
Her
:"
Thei
rat
ti
tuder
emi
ndsmeoft
hei
rfat
her!
"
Il
i
ftedmyhead 
Me:"
IfImayask,
whathappenedbet
weeny
ou
guy
s? "
Shekeptqui
etf
orawhi
l
e 
Her:
"He..
.Hediv
orcedme.Hehadanother
fami
ly,hefor
cedmet oaccepthi
sfami
lybutI
coul
dn'
tsohedi v
orcedme"
I
tseemedasifIopenedupol
dwoundssi
nce
wel
lshewasgetti
ngemoti
onal
 
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Her
:"
it
'sokay..
.I
ttookmetimetoacceptthathe
wasnolongermine..
Irememberwhenhet old
mehehadadaught erwhois3yearsyounger
thanmyt winsandwhenhet ol
dmehi s
girl
fr
iendwaspregnantagai
n,itwashardfor
met oaccept..
Hewasmyev ery
thi
ngBoineel
o
..Yeshewasawel lknowngangsterbutIl
oved
himf orwhohewasbuti tt
urnsouthewasin
l
ov ewithsomeoneelse"
Shenowhadt
ear
s!
Ihuggedher
 
"
I'
m sor
ryma"
Shest
oodup 
"
Ineedsomeai
r"
Shewal
kedoutaf
tersay
ingt
hat.
..

TOBECONTI
NUED 
[
04/
28,
19:
04]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t48
*
**KI
NDASMALLI
NSERT*
**

'
Therecomesapoi ntwhereyounolongercare
i
ftherei
salightattheendofthetunnel
ornot
.You'
rej
ustsickoftheendlessj
ourneyi
nside
t
hatneverendingtunnel
'
-
Boi
tumel
o
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

AsmuchasIhatecr
ying,
Ihat
eseeing
someonesocl
osetomyhearti
ntears..
Thabi
thawasreall
ybr
oken,hert
ell
ingme
aboutherdi
vor
cereal
l
yopenedupol dwounds
.Shehasbeenhidi
ngherpai
nandshelit
eral
ly
showedittomeunawareofi
tall
...
.
..
.
.
Someoneclear
edthei
rthr
oatbri
ngingmeback
toreal
i
ty,
that'
swhenIreal
isedIhavebeenl
ost
toodeepi
nawor l
dofthoughts,thecof
feeI
hadinmyhandswasev encold 
Her
:"Whathav
eyoubeent
hinki
ngabout?
"
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:
"Not
ingmuch,
canImakey
oucof
fee?
"
Her
:"
Yespl
ease,
nosugar"
Shesatont
hehi
ghchai
r 
It
ookoutacupi
nthecupboar
d 
Me:
"Youhav
ebeensl
eepi
ngf
orawhi
l
e"
Her
:"
Ineededt
ocool
myhear
tof
f..
"
*
*Si
l
ence*
**
"Youknow,al
lal
ongIthoughtIhadfor
got
ten
aboutBaf
ana'
sfat
herbutitt
urnsoutIwas
wrong.
Ourconver
sat
ionear
li
eronmademe
r
eali
seIst
il
llov
ehim"
Ihandedhert
hecupofcof
fee 
Me:
"I
twi
l
lbewel
lma"
Shesmi
l
ed 
Her:
"Enoughaboutmypr
obl
ems,
weshoul
dgo
seeyourmother"
Ibecameuneasyi
nst
ant
ly.
.

Shel
ookedatme 
Her:
"Youcannotj
ustsi
ther
ewi
thoutseei
ng
yourmother"
Me:
"ButIhat
eseei
ngherl
i
ket
hat"
Shebr
oughtherhandsonmi
ne
Her:
"Iknow, Iknow.
Butbabyy
ouhav
etobe
st
rongf orher"
Ikeptqui
et
Shest
oodupandcameonmysi
de 
Her
:"
I'
m her
eforyou,al
ltheway.Al
lIneedi
s
f
oryoutobether
eforyourmother"
Ikeptqui
et.
.
Itt
rul
ymeantalott
ofindthatshecaresf
orme
evenwhenhersondoesn'
tseem toloveme.
..
•
•
•
#Kwena

Myphoner angoncemor eandIi

gnoreditt
his
ti
mear ound.Anunknownnumberhasbeen
cal
lingmeandev eryti
meIansweredthe
personwouldjustkeepqui
et.
.
.
..
Baf
anawal
kedi
nthebedr
oom 
Hi
m:"
Theper
soni
sst
il
lcal
l
ingy
ou?
"
Inoddedwhi
l
est
andi
ngup 
Hi
m:"
Ignor
ethem babe"
Me:"
Iwi
ll
buti
tsj
ustpi
ssi
ngmeoff,
I'
ll
endup
t
ell
i
ngtheper
sonwher
etogetof
f"
Hel
aughed 
Hi
m:"
That
'smyKwenaf
ory
ou"
Iwor
emygown 
Hi
m:"Boi
tumel
opr
epar
eddi
nnersowehav
eto
goandeat 
Me:
"Howi
sshe?
"
Him:"
Sheissohappy,uy
atit
sinabakwa
Tengeti
l
ewemakey ouhappyevenwhenyou
thi
nktheworl
dhastur
nedagainstyou!
"
Il
aughed 
Me:
"You'
ref
ull
ofy
our
sel
veswat
seba!
"
Heal
sol
aughedwhi
l
ehol
dingmyhandt
owal
k
outbutst
oppedwhi
l
ewewer
eaboutt
oexi
tand
tur
nedtome 
Hi
m:"
KwenaIl
ovey
ou"
Ismil
edwhi
l
ewr
appi
ngmyar
msar
oundhi
s
waist
 
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
ooBaf
ana"
Hesmi
l
edandourl
i
psmet.
..
.
..
Il
ovehi
m andImeanti
t!
..
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina

Ti
mewasn'tonmysi
de,
andIneededt
ofi
nd
mydaught
er..
.
.
..
Iwal
keduptodoct
orRi
ckassoonasIsawhi
m
appr
oachi
ng 
Me:
"Howi
sher?
"
Helookedaround,
may behewaseye
sear
chingonwhoislooki
ngatus 
Me:
"Rel
axt
her
e'snoonel
ooki
ng'
Hi
m:"
Fol
l
owme"
.
.
Wewalkedtohi
sof
fi
ceandhecl
osedt
hedoor
behi
ndus 
Hi
m:"
Shei
snotokay"
It
urnedt
ohi
m 
Me:
"Whatdoy
oumean?
"
Het
urnedt
ome 
Hi
m:"
Chri
ssyshehaslostalotofbl
oodand
t
hati
ncl
udesbleedi
ngint
ernal
ly"
Il
aughed 
Me:"
You'
readoct
orandy
ou'
resupposedt
o
sav
eher"
Hi
m:"
Wear
etr
yingourbest"
Iwal
kedt
ohi
m andchar
gedhi
m agai
nstt
he
wal
l 
"
TRYHARDER!
!"
.
..
.
..
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

"
Thanksf
ort
hef
ood"
Kwenaspokest
andi
ngupwi
tht
hehel
pof
Baf
ana 
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:
"Any
time"
Kwena:
"Goodni
ghtbabe"
Me:
"Ni
ght.
.I
'
llr
emai
nwashi
ngt
hedi
shes'
'
 
Kwena:
"Shoul
dIhel
p?"
Me:
"No,
goandsl
eep.
..
I'
l
lbeokay"
Thel
azyKwenasmi
l
ed.
. 
Theybot
hwal
kedoutt
othebedr
oom .
..
.
.
..
Luthandolef
tearl
ieronbecausehesaidhis
businesspar
tnerneededtomeethim urgent
ly.
.
.
.
Iwashedthedishesthenlat
eronwentt omy
bedroom ,
Iwasn'tgett
inganysleep.
.Ikepton
tur
ningontossi
ngbutf i
nall
yIgottosleep..
.
.
..
.
.
Iwokeupt
hef
oll
owi
ngmor
ningal
lal
oneand
cl
eanedthebedr
oom bef
oretaki
ngaverylong,
hotbat
husingThat
o'swarm bat
hofcourse..
Ineededtosmel
lni
ceanduniqueforLut
hando,
thi
ngsareget
ti
ngwell
onoursideandspici
ng
them upwoul
daddabitoff
un. .
.

Tobecont
inued 
Mot
her
'shat
red 
[
04/
28,
19:
05]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t49

'
Theycal ledmeweakandj udgedme,
forget
tingIhav ebeendeceivedandhur
t!They
didn'
tneedt ounder
standmebutt ogi
veme
mor etolerance!'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina

Afterfindi
ngoutthatRethabil
emi ghtnotmake
i
t,Idr oveuptoLA!quizandcal l
edLuthandofor
abiggestheistofourli
ves. .
Icouldn'
tsl
eep, I
neededawayf or
war dtofindmydaught erand
keepingmymi ndbusywast hebestopt i
on..
.
.
..
Wewalkedi
nLA!qui
zearl
yinthemorni
ng,
Lut
handowasverymuchpissedof
f 
"Soyou'
l
lbeangr
yti
l
lJesusdeci
dest
ocome
back?"
Het
urnedt
ome 
Hi
m:"Chr
ist
inamygi
rl
fr
iendi
spr
obabl
ywor
ri
ed
wher
esheis"
Il
aughed 
Me:
"Kant
iyoudohav
eagi
rl
fr
iend,
Ithought
y
ou'
rei
ntooneni
ghtt
hings"
Him:"
Ify
ouhavenot
hingtosayt
omer
ather
shutt
hefuckuporI
'
llfucky
ouup"
Me:"Luthandocan'
tyoujustst
opbei
ngacr y
baby? Youdoknowt herewasaroadblockand
wehadt ohidef
oralit
tl
ewhile.
Wetookbloody
fucken18car sandbrobbedabank!!
"
Hi
m:"
Pssh!Tel
lmeabouti
t"her
oll
edhi
sey
es
Wegoti
nhi
sInhi
sof
fi
ce 
Hi
m:"
I'
m goi
nghome"
Me:
"AoLuthando,
notev
enagl
assofwhi
skey
t
ocelebr
ate?"
Hi
m:"
No.
.mygi
rl
fr
iendi
swai
ti
ng"
Hetookhi
scarkey
sandwasaboutt
owal
kout
whenIspoke
"
Somet
hingi
sreal
l
ybot
her
ingme"
Het
urned 
Hi
m:"
Tal
ktome"
Me:
"Yourmot
herandRet
habi
l
e..
..
Ifoundyour
mot
heratRet
habi
le'
spl
acewhenIvisi
tedher"
Hekeptqui
et 
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknowtheirrel
ati
onshi
p,whati
sit
t
haty
ouwantfrom Rethabi
lesomuch?"
Ikeptqui
et,
Icouldtell
himt hatRethabil
ehas
mydaughterbutseeingthatRethabil
ehas
somekindAfri
endshipwithThabitha,itmight
rui
nevery
thi
ng 
Me:
"I
tsnot
hing,
youcango"
Hekeptqui
etf
orawhi
l
e 
Hi
m:"I
m al
sohungryf
orherbl
oodsowecoul
d
wor
kasat eam t
obri
ngherdownonl
yify
outel
l
mewhat'
sbotheri
ngyou"
Igul
pedt
hewhi
skey
Me:
"Gotoyourgi
rlf
ri
end,we'
l
ldi
scussi
tlat
er,
meetmeherelat
eron..
I'
l
lbeusi
ngthi
soffi
ce
f
orthewhol
eday"
Henoddedbef
orewal
ki
ngout.
..
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

Idr
ovebackt
omyapar
tment.
.
Iwasreal
l
yworr
iedaboutBoi
tumelo,
spendi
nga
ni
ghtawayfr
om herwassomethi
ngelse..
.
..
.
..
Iwal
kedinsi
det
heapar
tmentt
of i
ndKwena
andBaf
anaseat
edonthehi
ghtchai
rski
ssi
ng.
..
.
..

Icl
ear
edmyt
hroat.
Theyl
ookedback 
Me:
"Mor
ning?
"
Theyl
ookedashamed 
Ichuckl
ed 
Me:
"Wher
eisBoi
tu?
"
Kwena:"
Lastt
imeIcheckedhershewas
bat
hing"
Me:
"Okay,
I'
ll
gocheckuponher"
Baf
ana:
"Wher
ewer
eyou?
'
Me:
"Iwaswi
thChr
ist
ina,
we'
l
ltal
k"
Iwal
kedoutaf
tersay
ingt
hat.
.
Boit
umelowasbusymedi
tat
ing..
Istoodont he
doorfr
amewatchi
ngher,
Ismiled.Shelooked
socute..
"
Babe?
"
Shespokestar
tl
ingmeabi
t,Iwasl
osti
n
admir
ingherbeaut
y 
Ismi
l
edwhi
l
ewal
ki
ngupt
oher.
.
Shest
oodupandal
sowal
kedupt
ome.
.
Shewr
appedherar
msar
oundmyneck 
Her
:"
I'
m gl
ady
ou'
rebackhome"
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:
"I
'm sosor
ry,mybusi
nesspar
tnerhadme
wor
kingthewhol
enight"
Her
:"
It
sokay"
Ismi
l
ed.
..
Iwasr
eall
yrel
iev
edtoseehersmi
li
ngbut
somet
hingwasn'
tokaywi
thher.
.
Shesmel
l
edsobad,
mor
eli
keshej
usthadsex
..
It
ri
edtobl
ockthesmel
lbuti
twast
oomuchf
or
metohandl
e 
Me:
"Howaboutwehi
tashowert
oget
her?
"
Her
:"
ButbabeIj
usthadabat
hnj
e?"
Ikeptqui
et 
Me:
"I
'l
lgoshoweral
onet
hen"
Ispokel
ett
inghergo.
Her
:"
Luu?
"
Iav
oidedherwal
ki
ngt
otheensui
tbat
hroom .
.
.
..
Boit
umel oi
scheati
ngonmeandst ayinginthe
samer oom wi
thherwi
lldr
ivemeintobearing
theshitout
taherandi
tssomethi
ngI'dreall
y
hatetodo!
•
•
•
#Kwena

Boitumel
owalkeddownstai
rsintears.
.She
tri
edtohi
deitbutevent
heblindswouldfeel
thatsomethi
ngwentonupstair
s..Iqui
ckly
walkeduptoher
Me:
"Babe.
.What
swr
ong?"
Shequi
ckl
ywi
pedhert
ear
s 
Her
:"
Not
hing.I
tmustbet
hehor
mones"
Shesni
ff
ed 
Ihel
dherhandwhi
l
eleadi
nghert
otheseat
ing
room 
Me:
"Youknowy
ou'
ref
eet
otal
ktome"
Shel
etoutal
oudsob 
Her
:"KwenaIt
oldyouIwasn'
treadytoface
Lut
hando!Youbroughtmebacktohim..You
mademeLov ehim andhei
smi st
reat
ingme!"
Ihuggedhert
ocal
m herdown
"
Shhhh"
Whil
eIwasstil
lembraci
nghersomeone
cl
ear
edthei
rthroat
 
Il
ookedbackandi
twasLut
hando 
Hi
m:"
What
'sgoi
ngonher
e?"
Ist
oodup 
Me:
"Lut
handowhati
sitthaty
oudi
dto
Boi
tumel
othatmadehercry?"
Hechuckl
edbi
tt
erl
y 
Hi
m:"
Idi
dn'
tdoany
thi
ng"
Iwal
keduptohim,IwishedIcoul
dthrowa
hugepunchonhi
m butfear
ingLut
handoI
wouldn'
t.
Hewal
kedupt
oBoi
tumel
o 
Hi
m:"
Whyat
eyoucr
ying?
"
Boi
tumel
ocont
inuedsobbi
ng 
Hegr abbedherwristandr oughlymadeher
standup. .
Itr
iedt
opr otectBoitumelobuthe
pushedmesohar dmaki ngmet ri
ppeandfal
l..
..
•
•
•
#Thabi
tha 
(Lut
hando'
smot
her)

I
tgetshardtowakeupi nthemorni
ngknowing
t
hetwin'
sf at
herwil
lnolongerbeonmyside.I
t
ri
edhardt ofor
gethim buti
ttur
nsoutIhav
en'
t
r
eal
lyforgott
enabouthim asIhadant
ici
pat
ed..
.
..
Idi
all
edhisnumbers(Isti
l
lknewt
hem byhear
t
)andlucki
lyenoughi
trang.
"
Thabi
tha"heanswer
ed 
Myhear
tbeatv
eryfast,
Inev
ert
houghthest
il
l
hadmynumbers 
Me:
"BabaBaf
ana?
"
Hechuckl
ed 
Hi
m:"
Howar
eyou?
"
Me:
"I
'm wel
l,j
ustwant
edt
ocheckupony
ou"
Hi
m:"
I'
m okay
.Howar
etheboy
s?'
Me:"
Theyar
efi
ne,
justgi
vi
ngmesomuch
t
roubl
eandhowst
hefamil
ythatsi
de?
"
Hesi
ghed 
"Wellbutit
'sbeen10yearssincewel astsaw
ourdaughter,hermotherisn'
tholdi
ngupv er
y
wellsincewellshest
art
edhav ingbaddr eams
abouther"
Me:
"Hopef
ull
yshei
swel
l"
Him:
"Ihopesot
oo,
lookIhav
etogo.I
'
llcal
l
youl
ateron"
Me:
"OKwe'
l
ltal
k"
Hehunguponme.Il
i
ter
all
ysmi
l
ed,
Imi
ssed
hi
svoi
ce

Tobecont
inued 
[
04/
28,
19:
06]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t50
'
Iti
sget ti
ngcol d,fl
ashofbadmemor ies
gett
ingcl oser.Myheartbegantofalt
er
deafeningsilence.
Iwaited,j
ustthoughtitwil
l
soonbeov erbutIguessit'
sjustanotherstor
y
tobet old,ALI FEWASTED! '
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

IthoughtIhadseenitall,It
houghtIwould
fi
nall
yfindhappiness.
.Iknow, IknowLuthando
wouldnev erhur
tme. .
Thosewor dskepton
runni
ngi nmymi ndashedr aggedmeupst ai
rs.
.
Hewasn'
thi
msel
f,hewasn'
tdrunkei
therbut
whatt
hehel
lwasgoi
ngonwithhim?
.
.
Mycheeksweredry,tear
sdeceiv
edme.Iam a
weakpersonbutwhatsupri
sedwasIwas
scar
edbutnottothatpoi
ntwereIwoul
dsob
mylungsout.
Yeah,Icr
iedwhi
leIwaswi t
hKwenabutI
coul
dn'
tcryandgi
vehim enoughsat
isf
act
ion!
.
Helockedt
hebedr
oom doorbehi
ndhi
m and
t
urnedtome 
Hi
m:"
Whywer
eyoucr
yingdownt
her
e?"
IKeptqui
et 
Hewal
kedt
owar
dsmeandIst
eppedback 
"
Boi
tumel
oar
eyoucheat
ingonme?
"heasked 
*
*THATSHOCKEDME!
**
Me:
"Me?
Cheat
ing?
Lut
handowher
edi
dyouget
t
hat
?"
Assoonashegott
omesi
ncewel
lIwas
bl
ockedbyt
hewal
l,myhai
rgott
angl
edupi
n
hi
sfist
 
Iscr
eamedi
nfear!
Hethrewthehott
estcl
apofmyl
i
feonmy
cheek,It
hinkIbl
ed 
Il
etoutl
oudt
ear
s 
Hi
m:"
Youcheat
ingonme?
"
Hi
svoi
cest
atedhowangr
yhewas.
Thatwasn'
tLut
hando!
I
twasmorel
i
keabeasthasbeenpl
ant
edi
nsi
de
ofhi
m..
Heletgoofmyhai randIjustsankdownin
tear
s...
Ithoughti
twasenoughunt i
lhestar
ted
beati
ngmewi t
habeltandkicki
ngme. .
If
earedhim morethanIal
readydo,asmuchas
Iwantedhi
mt okickonmyt ummysoIwoul d
miscarr
ybutIcoveredmytummyf orprotect
ion
,hehadnomer cyonme. .
Hewasl it
erall
y
ki
l
li
ngme.
..
.
.
..
.
.
.
Someonemusthav esavedmewhenthey
ki
ckedthedooropen,Icoul
dheari
twas
KwenaandBafana 
"
Lut
hando!
!!
"
Thenaft
erawhil
eIhear
dsomeonet
hrowi
nga
punchontheot
hert
henLut
handogr
oanedi
n
pai
n..
Kwenacameupt
ome 
"
BAby.
.Boi
tumel
o?Nana!
!"Shepani
cked 
Iwasst
il
lbr
eat
hingandnotatal
loutofitbutI
wasver
yMuchweakt oevensayanyt
hing..
..
.
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Iwasprepar
ingmysel ftogotothehospitalto
seemom fornightvisi
ti
nghours..
Luthando's
mom hadlef
tear l
ieron.
.Shel
eftLuthando'
s
babywit
hhersisterandThatososhewant edto
gocheckupont hem ..
.
.
Iappl
iedt
hemascar abutmyphonerang,
Iwas
verymuchsur
pri
sedt oseeLut
hando'
sname
fl
ashi
ngonmyscr een 
"
Luu?
"Ianswer
ed 
Hi
m:"
CanIseey
ou?
"Hesoundedsodown 
Me:
"Yeah.
."
Hi
m:"
Wher
eyouat?
I'
m aty
ourgat
e"
Me:
"I
'm ar
ound,
letmeopenf
ory
ou"
Ihungupandr
ant
otheki
tchen.
.Lut
handoi
s
mine!!
!!
!
.
..
.
.
..
Hepar
kedhiscarnotf
arf
rom ourmaindoor,
I
st
oodonthedoorwaywai
tingforhi
m..
Hel
ockedt
hecarandwal
kedupt
ome.
.
.
. 
Iexpect
edhi
mtogreetmeortal
ktomebuthe
j
ustwelcomedmewithaver
yroughki
ss.
.
It
hinkIev
enbl
edt
hrought
hat
..
It
ri
edt
ostophim buthedidn't,
hejustpi
cked
meupandwalkedtothetableandputmeoni t.
.
Ist
oppedhi
m 
"
Luuwhat
'swr
ong?
"
Hest
oppedandf
rust
rat
edl
ybr
ushedhi
sface 
"
Ijustwannaf
ucky
out
hat
'
sal
l"hespoke 
Me:
"Whathappenedt
oyourf
ace?
"
Hi
m:"
Baf
anahappenedcanIf
ucky
ounow?
"
Hespoker
oughl
ytear
ingawaymyblowse
f
oll
owedbythebr
aandbitemylowerl
ip.
.
If
li
ncedi
npain,t
ear
sbet
ray
edmyey
es.
.He
wassorough.
.
HepickedmeagainandputmeDownthen
pushedhist
rousert
oget
herwi
tht
heboxer
s
down..
"
Luu.
."Hewasn'
tbacki
ngaway.
.
Hegrabbedmyweav eandmademegoonmy
kneesusi
ngtheweaveandmademebjhi
m..
It
wasreall
yapai
nful
experi
ence.
.
Ievencr
iedloudbuthedidn'
tst
opi nst
eadhe
keptonpushinghismanhooddeeponmy
thr
oatmakingithardf
ormet obreath.
..
.

IHATELUTHANDO!
!
IREALLYDO!
!
•
•
•
#Sf
iso 
"
What?
?"Gi
vemeaf
ewseconds,
I'
ll
bet
her
e 
Kwena:
"l
etmesendy
out
headdr
ess"
Ihungup.
.
Iwasexiti
ngJohannesburgdr
ivi
ngtoCape
TownwhenKwenacal l
edandtoldme
Boit
umeloisindanger..
Shesentmethe
addressandIdrov
elikeamaniactothegi
ven
address.
.
.
..
.
.

Iquickl
yranoutoft
hecarassoonIpar
ked
outsidet
heapart
ment.
 
Igotwel
comedbyt
hecr
yingKwena 
"
Kwena?
"
Shequi
ckl
ywi
pedhert
ear
s 
Her:
"Bafanai
soutt
ogethermedici
ne,he
doesn'
twanthert
oleav
ebutIfeart
hathe
mightcomebacktohur
ther!
"
Weknel
tinf
rontofme
"Sfi
soI'
m beggingyou,Lut
handois
dangerous.
Hemi ghtf
indherandki
llherplease
takeheraway,Itr
ustyouwit
hherIwi l
ldeal
withhi
mt henfoll
owy ou"
Asmuchasshewasn'
tmakinganysenseI
noddedonev
ery
thi
ngshesaid 
.
Shest
oodupwhi
l
ethanki
ngmeandwer
an
i
nsi
de.
.
ThestateIf
oundBoi
tumel
oinwasr
eal
l
y
di
stur
bing
Wecar
eful
l
yhel
pedhert
othecarandIt
ookher
bagsi
n 
Me:"
I'
ll
dri
veust
oPret
ori
asoIcantakehert
oa
doct
orthent
omorr
owwe'l
ltr
avel
toCapeTown
"
Kwena:
"I'
l
lcomewit
hyoutoCapeTown,
for
nowmakesureshei
ssafe.
.Leav
e!"

Iquickl
ygoti
nmycarandsighedoutinr
eli
efas
soonasIdroveawayknowi
ngthere'
snoone
fol
lowingmetohur
tBoit
umelo..
.

#Chr
ist
ina

Ihandshakedwi
thhi
m 
"I
'
m sosorrymanf
ordi
stur
bingy
ourbusy
schedul
e"
Hi
m:"
It
sokay.
.whatcanIdof
ory
ou?
"
Hesatopposi
teme 
Me:
"Ret
habi
l
e..
ManIam f
ail
i
ngt
ofi
ndwhat
'
s
mi
ne"
Hi
m:"
Ithi
nkIknowherper
sonal
l
y,y
oucanask
meI'
l
lanswerwher
eIcan"
Me:"Ibel
i
eveshehast
wodaughters,onewho
i
sorwast urnedt
oaprost
it
ute.Tel
lmore
aboutit"
Hi
m:"Yeah,Boi
tumel
oandBoi
neel
o.Boi
tumel
o
i
stheprost
it
ute"
Me:
"Wher
ecanIf
indher?
"
Him:"
Lastti
meIchecked,Rethabi
l
eshot
Boit
umelo..
Ithi
nkbothBoi
tumeloandBoi
neel
o
wereshari
ngthesameBoyfri
end"
Ikeptqui
et,
Iwasn'
tget
ti
nganywayf
orwar
d 
Me:
"Doy
ouper
hapsknowt
heboy
fri
end?
"
"
Ithi
nki
tst
heownerofLA!
qui
z"
Myey
espopped 
"
Luu.
.Lut
handoTenget
il
e?"
Henodded.
.
Ist
oodup,
thi
swasmaki
ngsense.
.Thabi
tha!
!
Nooooo!
!!
Luthandocannotdat
emydaught
er,
Iknowhe
i
slikemysonbuthecan'
t,hei
sagangster
aft
erall!
!
Itookthebott
leofwhiskeyandgul
peddown
thewhiskeybefor
eIthrewitacr
ossthegl
ass
door..
.

TOBECONTI
NUED 

[
04/
28,
19:
07]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED
 I
nser
t51
'
Aheartbroken,
li
teral
lyIhavef
all
en,
ahandto
pi
ckmeup?Ther e'snon..
..
Ibel
i
evehewhoi
s
abovei
supandwat chi
ngbutwhydoeshel
et
al
lthebadhappent ome?'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Kwena

Bafanawalkedi
naft
eranhourort
wo..
.Hehada
fooddodgybagandchemistbagi
nhand..
.
.
..
Iwassi t
ti
ngint hesitt
ingroom drinking
Hennessyt okeepmymi ndalloccupied.Real
ly,
IhatedseeingBoi t
umel ogoingthroughal lof
that..
Lit
eral
ly,itbrokeme. Whyshoul dit
alwaysbehert hatgoest hroughallthepain?.
.
.
.
Hecameandki
ssedmyf
orehead 
"Sor
ryIt
ooklong,
Iwasdr
ivi
ngar
oundt
ofi
nda
sti
ll
openedchemi
st"
Ibestf
akedasmi
l
e 
Me:
"I
tsokay"
Hepl
acedt
hebagsont
hecof
feet
abl
e
andwal
kedt
otheki
tchen

"
IhopeBoit
umel
owontmi
ndwaki
ngupt
otake
t
hepil
ls"
Heshout
edf
rom t
heki
tchen.
.
Igul
pedt
hewhi
skey.
.
*
**HowwasIgonnaappr
oachhi
m wi
thal
lof
t
his?*
**
Hewal
kedbackwi
thbot
tl
edwat
erandhanded
i
ttome 
Hi
m:"
Hel
pherdr
inkt
hepi
l
ls"
Ikeptqui
et 
Hi
m:"
Kwena?
"
Me:
"Mmh.
..
Uh.
.Uhh?
"
Hegav
emeaquest
ioni
ngl
ook

Iplacedthebott
ledwat
eronthecoff
eetable
andgav eoutmyhandtohim andhetookit
thensatbesidesmeonthecouch 
Me:
"Uhm babe?
"
Hel
ookedatme 
Ikeptquiet,
justthethoughtofBoi
tumel
o's
painalonenotment i
oningnothavi
ngany
oneto
careforherbrokeme. .
.
Tearswer
eatthever
geofescapi
ngmyeyes
i
ncludi
ngbei
ngti
psy,ital
socont
ri
but
ed.
.
Me:
"Bafana,Lut
handowoul
dnev
erhur
torhar
m
Boi
tumelo.
.."
Mycheeksget
ti
ngweti
ndi
cat
edt
hatt
ear
s
bet
ray
edme. .
Hi
m:"
Iknow,
Iknow"
Hehushedme 
Me:"
Somethi
ngisnotaddi
ngupBaf
ana...
What
woul
dhavehappenedifwewer
en'
taround?(
A
l
oudsobescapedmylips)
Icannotloseherandshecannotl
osethebaby
thebabytoo.
..
I..
I..
Ican'
tBaf
anaShei
st heonl
y
famil
yIhave..
."
Icoul
dn'
ttal
kany
mor
e,i
twasj
ustt
oomuchf
or
me. .
.
Idon'
teasi
lyl
etmyt
earsoutandcrymyl
ungs
outbutIf
oundmysel
findeepsobs 
Hest
oodf
rom t
hecouchandknel
tbef
oreme 
Him:
"Hewon'
tbaby
..
Youwon'
tl
oseBoi
tumel
o
andt
hebaby"
Iwi
pedmyt
ear
s 
Me:
"Ihav
esomet
hingt
otel
lmey
ou"
Hel
ookedatme 
"
Boi
tumel
o..
.she.
I..
."
Isi
gheddeepl
y 
Me:
"Ihav
esentheraway"
Hi
m:"
Whatdoy
oumean?
Me:"
I..
Iaskedafr
iendtofetchher.
Sheisgone
andtomorrowwe'l
lbeleavi
ngtheprov
incefora
whil
eormay bef
orever"
Hest
oodup
Hekeptquietf
orawhil
e..
Icouldn'
treal
l
ytel
l
hi
sreacti
on.Hetookt
hebottl
eofhennessyand
gul
peditdown

"
whatwi
l
lhappent
ous?
?"
That'
stheonl
yquesti
onhemanagedt
oask
aft
erafewminutesofgul
pingaf
ewshot
sof
Hennessey.
..
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina

IspentthenightaLA!quizdri
nki
ng..
Icoul
dn't
sl
eepIkeptoncal l
ingLuthandoandhisphone
wasn'tgoi
ngt hr
ough..Ievensentmyguysto
gooutlookingforhim..

06:
25?

That'
stheonlyt
imehewal kedin..
Hewasn't
l
ookinggoodatallbutIdi
dn'tcar
eorev engi
ve
afuck.Iwassit
ti
nginhisoffi
ceonhi schai
r
withmyfeetonthetableandhadf i
nishedt
he
secondbott
leofBunnahabhinwhisky...
Hi
m:"Areyouawar
ethatthoseareli
stedonmy
mostexpensi
vewhi
skeysintheclub?"

Ist
oodupandwal
kedupt
ohi
m

Fi
rstthi
ngIwelcomedhim wit
hwast
hemost
pai
nfulpunchacrosshi
sface 
"
Fuck!
!!
"Hegr
oaned.
.

Hewi
pedawayt
hebl
oodonhi
snose 
"
Whatt
hef
uuckChr
ist
ina?
?!!
"Her
oar
ed

It
ookmygunf
rom t
het
abl
eandpoi
ntedi
tat
hi
m 
"
Youhav
ebet
ray
edme!
!!
!"Ial
sor
oar
ed

Iwasv
erymuchangr
y
Hi
m:"
Bet
ray
edy
ou?"
"I
'
llaskyouthi
sagai
n,what
'st
herelat
ionshi
p
betweenRethabi
l
eandyourmother?"Iasked
sti
llpoi
nti
ngagunathi
m

Hechuckl
ed 
Him:"
Areyoumad?WherethefuckdoIf
iti
n
betweenMymother
sfr
iendshi
ps? "
Heaskedi
nanangr
ymanner
 
Ichokert
hegun 
"
Boi
tumel
oandBoi
neel
o?"
Iasked 
Him:
"Pssh"herol
l
edhi
sey
eswal
ki
ngt
othe
chai
randsatdown 
Ipul
l
edt
het
ri
gger.
.
Butt
hegunwasn'
tl
oaded 
Him:"
IthappenedthatIdatedbot
hoft
hem
unawarethattheyaresi
sters"

Ikeptqui
et,
Iwant
edhi
mtocont
inue

Hef
rust
rat
edl
ybr
ushedhi
sface 
"
Chr
issyIdi
dthewor
stl
astni
ght.
."
Hestoodfrom t
hechai
randtookthev
odkaand
gul
peditdownlikehewasdr
inki
ngwater.
..

Hi
sbackwasf
acingmewhil
ehi
sot
herhand
wassl
i
ppedi
nhispocket
 
Him:"Iam suret
hatBoi
t umelohat esmeandI
don'
tbl ameher..
(Hekeptqui etf
oraf ew
seconds)Iwasn'tawaret hatBoineel
oand
Boit
umel oaresi
ster
s..Idatedbot hofthem but
fel
lforBoitumel
oalongt heway..Shewasso
t
rueandf
indi
ngoutwhatshehasbeent
hrough
mademelovehermore"

Het
urnedandf
acedme(
Ohno!
!Lut
handoi
n
t
ear
s??)
Him:
"Imanhandl
edhersobadfor
getti
ngt
he
pai
nshewasi n.
.I
twasmoreli
keabeastwas
pl
antedi
nmeandi tt
ookawayheartand.
..
."
Ihi
thi
sstomachwit
hthebackofmygun
bef
orehecoul
dconti
nue 
Hegr
oanedl
ouder
 
Me:
"Shutt
hef
uckupandl
et'
sgot
oher"
Ihel
pedhim upandhandedhi
mtheWhi
sky
agai
nthenwalkedout.
..
.
•
•
•
#Sf
iso
Imanagedt
ogethert
oadoct
orl
astni
ght.
.
Thedoctorwant
edtokeepheroverni
ghtbuti
t
wasn'
tsafeatal
l..
Imanagedtoaskhi
mt oget
ussomethingt
omakeherf eel
bett
er.
..
.
.
.
Itwasn' tanythi
ngmaj or
,justphysicalwounds
andi nternal
l
y ,i
twasn'tany t
hingmajorexcept
forthatshemi ghtnotcarrythebabyf ul
lterm
duet ot hecompl i
cati
onst hathaverecently
occur r
edi nthepregnancyorshemi ghtmi ght
miscar rybeforeshecouldr eachsevenmont hs
...
.
..
Itookourbagstomycar,wewer
etaki
ngan
earl
yfli
ghtandKwenawastomeetusatt
he
ai
rport.
.
Iwalkedbacki
nsi
dethehouseandshewas
tr
yingtowalkt
otheki
tchen.
.
Iwalkedupt
oherandhel
pedhersi
tont
he
couch 
Me:
"Babe?
"
Shesmi
l
ed 
Her:
"Youdon'
thav
etohel
pmewi
thev
ery
thi
ng
youknow?"
Ial
sosmi
l
ed 
Me:
"I
'm nothel
pingy
oubutt
hebaby?
"
Shebecamehar
dinst
ant
ly 
Me:
"Boi
tumel
owhatr
eal
l
yhappened?"
Her:
"Idon'
twannat
alkabouti
t,i
sKwena
coming?"
Me:"
Yeah,
She'
l
lmeetusatt
heai
rpor
tinan
hour"
Her
:"
Okay,
I'
ll
got
akemyphonet
hen"
Me:
"I
'l
lgot
akei
tfory
ou"
Shesmi
l
edf
aint
ly 
"
Iwasaf
rai
dtoask"
Ismi
l
edwal
ki
ngout

Iknowshei
sbrokenbutmyf
atherwi
l
lber
eal
l
y
happyt
omeether!
[
04/
28,
19:
08]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t52

'
Everlai
donthebedwi thyoureyescl
osedand
wishedyoucouldsleepfor
everandneverwake
upast onev
erfeelallt
hepaintheworl
dhasfor
you?
That
'swhatIal
way
swi
shf
or.
..
IWANTTODI
E,
THEPAINISTOOMUCHFORMETOHANDLE!'
-
Boi
tumel
o
•
•
•
#Kwena

Bafanawasr eall
ytr
yinghardnottoshowhow
hurthewast hatIwasleavi
ng.Ial
sowashur t
butthetrut
his, t
herewasnothingIcoul
ddo
exceptforl
eavingandprotect
ingBoit
umelo
awayfrom everyone..
.
..
"
Sor
eal
l
yyouar
eleav
ing?
"
Baf
anaspokest
art
li
ngmeabitsi
ncewel
lal
l
myfocuswasonzi
ppingt
hel
uggage 
It
urnedandwr
appedmyar
msar
oundhi
sneck 
Me:
"Babey
ouknowI
'
m doi
ngt
hisf
orBoi
tumel
o
"
Hi
m:"Byleavi
ngme?Kwenawhataboutour
r
elat
ionshi
p?Arey
oureal
l
ylet
ti
nggoofuslike
t
hat?"
Isi
ghedheav
il
y..
..
Thisi
sthereasonwhyIhaterelati
onships,i
ts
l
ikeI'
l
lbeforcedtochoosebetweentwopeopl e
andIcannotchooseBafanaov erBoit
umelo 
Me:"
Baf
anaI
'
llbebackassoonasBoi
tumel
o
gi
vesbi
rt
h"
Hi
m:"
Kwenat
hat
'saboutf
ivemont
hs!
!"
Ir
emov
edmyar
msar
oundhi
m 
Me:
"Icannotdot
his,
especi
all
ynotwhenIhav
e
afl
i
ghttocatchi
nthi
rt
yminutes"
Hi
m:"
Wow.
.Icantbel
i
evey
our
ightnow!
" 
Ipushedmyluggageout
side,
Bafanawas
acti
ngall
unr
easonablef
ornoreason.
.
.
.
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina

Wepar kedbyt hemai ngatesincewel lt

he
securi
ti
eswer egivingmehar dtimet odrivei
n
becauseofmyl ookal
ikegangsterrighthand
men. Luckil
yenough, Bafanawasout si
dewith
whatIassumei shisgir
lf
riendsincewellthey
werekissing..
Icl
ear
edmyt
hroat.
..
Theyandt
heyst
oppedki
ssi
ngandchuckl
ed 
Me:
"Fana!
"
Hel
aughed 
Hi
m:"
Chr
issy!
Isweary
ouwi
l
lnev
erchange!
"
Ichuckl
ed
Luu:
"Wher
eisBoi
tumel
o?"
Hewasn'
tspeaki
ngi
naf
ri
endl
ymanner
 
Fana'
sgir
lf
ri
end:"
Andher
eismyuber,
Iguess
i
tsmyt i
met ol
eave"
Fana:
"Yeahbabe,
pleasecal
lmewheny
ou
havearr
ived!
"
Gi
rl
fr
iend:
"Iwi
l
l"
Theyki
ssed.
..
Ismi
l
edador
ingt
hei
ryoungl
ove.
.

Shecl
imbedi
ntheuberandIwai
tedf
ori
tto
l
eave 
"
Backt
othest
ory,
Wher
eisBoi
tumel
o?"
Ispokeassoonast
heuberdr
oveof
f.
Baf
anagav
eLut
handoadeadl
ylook 
Me:
"Fana!
!"
Hel
ookedatme 
Hi
m:"
Chr
issyaskLut
hando"
Tur
nedt
oLut
hando,
slowl
yIwasget
ti
ngmadà
Luthando:"
BafanaIalr
eadyt
oldChri
ssy
everyt
hing,justt
ell
herwher
eBoitumel
ois"
Fanaf
rust
rat
edl
ybr
ushedhi
shead 
Fana:
"Shei
sgone"
Me:
"Whatdoy
oumeanshei
sgone?
"
Fana:
"Lut
handobeathert
oapoi
ntwher
eshe
deci
dedtorunaway"
Angerinst
ant
lybui
lti
n,Iturnedandpunched
Luthandosohardonthestomach,hepunched
mebackandt ur
nedtobeast r
eetf
ight.
..
We
stoppedwhenBafanastoppedus..
.
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Ikeptoncheckingmytime,ourf
li
ghtwasto
l
eavein25mi nutesandKwenahasn'
tshowed
upy
et.
..
Sf
iso:
"Youl
ookner
vous"
Ismi
lednottoshowthatIwasreal
lyner
vous
andalsoscar
ed,whatifKwenadoesn'
tshow
up?
Whatwi
l
lhappent
ome?
Icannotbewi
thSf
isoal
lal
one 
Hi
m:"
Whydon'
tIgety
ousomet
hingt
odr
inki
n
t
hemeant
ime?"
Me:
"Yeah,
quav
ajui
cewi
l
lbef
ine"
Hest
oodup,
comi
ngr
ightup.
.Hewal
kedaway
..
Ismi
ledal
lal
oneadmir
inghi
m,Iwi
shLut
hando
woul
dhaveaheartl
Iwishhecouldtreatmet
hewaySfi
sodoes
..
Butit
sclearit
sal li
nmymi
nd..
.
"
Yoursmi
l
eissobeaut
if
ulandt
rue"
Me:
"Uh?
"
I
twassomebeaut
if
ultomboyorwoul
dsay
l
esbi
anst
andi
ngri
ghtnextt
ome. .
Shechuckl
ed 
Her:
"I
'm sor
ry,
Youhavebeensmi
l
ingand
seemedt obel
osti
nyourownwor
ld"
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:
"Keptmymi
ndal
loccupi
ed"
Shechuckl
ed 
Her
:"CanI?
"
Imov
edabi
t 
Me:
"Yeahsur
e"
Shesatnextt
ome 
Her
:"
Trav
ell
i
ng?"
Me:
"Yeaht
oCapeTown.
.You?
"
Her
:"
Ijustl
andedf
rom LondonbutI
'
m wai
ti
ng
f
orsomeone"
Me:
"Oh?
"
Her
:"
I'
m Shi
rl
ey,
Shi
rl
eyOwens"
Me:
"I
'm Boi
tumel
oMokoena"
Her:
"Ni
cetomeetyou,
I'
ll
bet
rav
ell
i
ngtoCape
Townintwodays,
howaboutwemeetupfor
dri
nks?"
Me:
"Yeahsur
e"
Shehandedmeherbusi
nesscar
d..
IsawSf
isoappr
oachi
ngus 
Me:
"Andt
her
ecomesmyboy
fri
end"
Shechuckl
ed 
Her:
"Andt
hat'
smyqueetol
eave,t
he
pr
egnancybumpl
ooksgoodonyoubyt
heway
"
Thatconf
usedme,
Ithoughti
tai
n'
tshowi
ng 
"
Uuh?
"
Shel
aughedwhi
l
eSt
andi
ngupandt
ookherbag
.
Shewi
nkedatmebef
oreshecoul
dleav
e..
"Thatl
ookedcosy"Sf
isospokeassoonashe
gottowhereIwasseated

Me:
"Uh.
.Uhm.
.Real
l
y?"
Hel
aughed 
Him:"
Iswearhe-shecharmedy ou,sheis
beauti
ful
.Heroutfi
tlooksgoodonherandher
curl
yshorthai
rmakeherl ookreal
l
yf i
ne"
Me:
"Mendoal
socompl
i
ment?
"
Kwenacametousrunni
ngsav
inghi
m,t
hat
wasreal
l
yawkward..
.
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o
Myphonerang,i
twasalandl
ineandIf
oundi
t
wei
rdcausenonhasev
ercall
edmeusing
l
andl
ine 
"
Boi
neel
ohel
l
o?"
Ianswer
ed 
Per
son:
"Hel
lo,Thi
sisdoctorMcDonnel
l.
.I
bel
i
eveyoudoknowRethabil
eMokoena,you
hav
ebeenstat
edashernextofkeen?"
Me:
"Ye.
.Yeah.
Ist
her
eany
thi
ngwr
ongdoct
or?
"
Her
:"
Ms,
Ineedy
out
ogett
ohospi
tal
ASAP"
Ipani
cked 
Me:
"I
ssheokay?
"
Doc:
"Shei
sokay,
wil
lyoubeabl
etocome?
"
Me:
"Yeah,
I
'l
lbet
her
einl
esst
han30mi
nut
es"
Ihungupandtookmycarkey
sandr
an
downstai
rs.
..

TOBECONTI
NUED 
Mot
her
'shat
red
[
04/
28,
19:
08]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t53

'
Tear
s?
Theydonotshowanypainasmuchassmi l
i
ng
wit
habrokenheart!Happyont
heoutsi
debut
sl
owlyandpainf
ull
ydyi
ngontheinsi
de!
!!
'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina

"
AREYOUFUCKENMAD?
?!!
"IYELLED 
Baf
ana:
"Chr
ist
inat
her
ewasnot
hingIcoul
ddo"
Ihi
tthest
arr
ingwheel
sohar
d 
Me:"Shei
syourgi
rl
fr
iend,
youcoul
dhav
e
t
alkedsomesensetoher"
Hel
aughedsar
cast
ical
l
y 
Fana:
"Damny eah.
.Sotwi
nnybit
chherecoul
d
fol
lowthem andki
l
l t
hepoorchi
ld?
!!
"Healso
shouted..

Iwast ooangrythatIalmosthi
tcrashed
anothercarbutIsawt heCarbeforei
tcoul
d
happenandmanagedt osavethecar..

Luu:
"Wooah.
CanIdr
ive?
!!
" 
Me:
"Fucky
-"
Luu:
"Chr
ist
inapul
lthef
uckenoverorI
'
llf
uck
youupforreal
thi
stimearound!
!"
Ipul
l
edov
er.
.

I
twasamessedupsi
tuat
ion,
Baf
anahadt
old
usev er
ythingandIhadalr
eadytoldhimthatI
'm
Boitumelo'smotherandworstsi
tuat
ionofiti
s
thatIdon'tknowher..
.
..
.
Butwhatwasconf usingmewashowcan
Bafana'
sgir
lf
ri
endl eavetheprov
inceandnev
er
tel
lBafanawhereshei sgoing??
...
.
.
.
.
Wewer edri
vi
ngtoairportbuti
twasluci
dthatI
wouldnotfi
ndBoi
tumel o,itwasaft
eranhour
ofourfi
ghtandevenifIcoulddri
veli
kea
maniacsti
l
lIwoul
dn'tfindher..
.

MyT-
shir
thadbloodst
ains,
Lut
handopunched
meonthenoseandIbl
ed

Weexchangedseat
s..
Fana:
"Chr
issyi
-"
Me:"
Bafanashutthefuckup!Thereisnothing
youcando.Howst upi
dareyout oletthem
l
eavenotknowingwher et
heyaregoi ng?"
Fana:
"Chr
ist
ina 
whatwasIsupposet
odo?
"
Me:
"You'
ref
uckenusel
ess!
!"
Fana:
"Asuselessasamot herwholef
ther
daughterf
orbloodyf
ucken25y ear
sandcome
backdemandingherfrom us!!
?"
Igotangryinst
antl
y..
Istoodfrom t
he
passengerseatandtur
nedt othebacksitt
o
punchhim buthisgunwasal r
eadypoint
ingat
me!
"
Guy
s!!
!!
"Lut
handoy
ell
ed 
Itr
iedfi
ghti
ngoffBafanabuthewast oostrong
formeconsideri
ngthefactthatwewerealsoin
thecar.
.Lut
handotri
edtost opus..
That'
swhen
Iheardacarcrashmorelikewehitsomething 
Me:
"LUU!
!"
HEgr
oaned
Luu:
"Fuck.
..
..
"
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Al
l t
hatthedoct
orsai
dfel
tli
keitwasadream
..
Itfel
tmeallpuzz
ledupandnumbt oev
en
st
anduporsayany morewords 
Doct
or:
"MsMokoena?"
Icoul
dhearhertal
ki
ngbutIf
ail
edt
oanswer
herastear
sbuil
tupinmyeyes 
Doc:
"MsMo-
"
Me:"
Weweresupposet
ocelebr
atehercomi
ng
outofcommaaft
ersomanyweeks"
Shehandedmeaser
viet
te.
.
Her
:"
I'
m sor
rymem"
"Butdoct
ory
oucandosomethi
ng,Iknowyou
canmakeherwal
kagai
n"Ipl
eadedwitht
earsi
n
myey es
Her
:"
Ms-
"
Me:
"Youknowwhat,
I'
m sor
ry"
Ist
oodupandwal
kedoutofherof
fi
ce.
..

IhadcalledLuthando'
smot herwhi
leIwas
dri
vi
ngdownt othehospit
al t
oinf
orm hert
he
doctorcall
edmeandIwasgl adtofi
ndher
seatedatthewai t
ingar
ea 
.
.
Ij
ustt
hrewmysel
finherar
ms 
Her
:"
Shhhbaby
"
"
She.
.she.
."Ihadhi
ccups 
"
Shewill
neverbeabl
etowal
kagai
n"If
inal
l
y
managedtosay 
Shehushedme 
"
Shh.
.shewi
l
lokay.
Godwi
l
lhel
pherwal
kagai
n
mybaby"

.
..
Icoul
dn'tev
ent al
k,Iwasjusti
nloudsobs.
She
i
sawakeandf inal
lyoutofICU,
arewenot
supposetorej
oice?
Shewon'tbeabletowalkagai
n..
Mybeaut
if
ul
motherwon'tbeablet
owalkagai
n..
..
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o
Wef i
nal
lylandedinCapeTownandSf i
so
bookedusi nahotelsi
ncewell
hehadt odr
ive
homealonet oinf
orm hi
sfat
herthathecame
wit
hv i
sit
ors..
.
.
..
Kwenawal
kedinthebedr
oom withmyt
oil
etr
y
bagandwhi
tegownandslipper
s 
Her
:"Youshoul
dtakeabat
hsoy
oucoul
dfeel
bet
ter"
Isi
ghed 
Me:
"I'
m Tool
azyt
ost
and"
Shel
aughedandjoi
nedmeont hebedandput
myfeetonherl
apthenmassagedthem 
Me:"
Onewoul
dsweary
ouhav
etur
nedt
oa
l
esbi
an"
Shel
aughedandpl
ayf
ull
ypushedmyl
egs 
Her
:"
I'
mtr
yingt
oactni
ceandy
ou'
rebei
ngnast
y
"
Il
aughed 
Me:"
Onaseri
ousnotethough,KwenaIr
eal
l
y
appr
eci
ateal
lthet
hingsyoudoforme"
Her
:"
Ever
ythi
ng 
fory
oumyl
i
ttl
ejoy
"
Me:"
Speaki
ngofl
esbi
ans,l
esbi
anf
ri
endear
li
er
att
heair
port.
Shei
ssonice"
Her:
"Letmegoor
dersomethingtoeatsoy
ou
cantell
meall
aboutherr
ight?"
Inodded.
Shest
oodupandwal
kedaway.
.

I
'
mtr
ulybl
essedt
ohav
eheri
nmyl
i
fe
•
•
•
#Shi
rl
ey

Ir
ecei
vedacal
lofmymot
herbei
ngi
nvol
vedi
n
acaracci
dent,soIr
ushedt
ohospi
tal
i
mmedi at
ely.
.
Iwassostressed,
shei
sst
il
louttofi
ndher
daught
erandnowshehastofaceaccident
s..
Itr
iedspeakingtotherecepti
oni
sttot
ell
me
whereshei sbutshesummonsedmet ositand
waitl
ikeeveryoneelseanditwasreal
l
y
devastat
ing..
.
.
.
Myphoner
angandi
twasanunsav
ednumber
 
Me:
"Hel
l
o?"
Theper
son:
"HiShi
rl
ey.
.You.
.I.
.uhm .
It
s
Boi
tumel
ohere"
Ichuckl
edabi
t,shesoundedsoner
vous 
Me:
"Ohhi
?"
Her
:"
Badt
ime?
"
Me:"
No,I
'mjustst
ressed,
youokay?
Hav
eyou
l
andedi
nCapeTown? "
Her
:"
Yeah,
Ijustneedsomer
est"
Me:
"Ohokay
"
Her:
"Caretoshar
ewhat
evert
hat
'
sbot
her
ing
you,
y ousoundsodown"
Ichuckl
ed 
Me:"
ForsomeoneIjustmetearl
ieronyou'
ret
oo
qui
ckbut..
"Isi
ghed"mymot herhasbee.
I
nvol
vedinacaraccident
 
Her
:"OhI
'
m sosor
ryt
oheart
hat,
issheokay?
"
Me:
"Notsur
eyet,
sti
l
lwai
ti
ngf
ort
hedoct
ors"
Her:
"I
'mr
eal
l
ysor
ry,
I'
m pr
ett
ysur
eshewi
l
lbe
okay"
Me:
"Yeah,
I'
ll
cal
lyoul
ater"
Her
:"
Okay
,lat
eri
tis"
Ichuckl
ed 
"MaybeIcoul
dsendapri
vat
ejett
ofet
chyout o
bemyshouldert
oleani
fmotheri
sbadl
yinj
ured
"It
eased 
Shel
aughed 
Her
:"
You'
resi
l
ly"
Il
aughed.
Me:"
Thanksf
orcal
l
ingbabe,
we'
l
ltal
klat
er
okay?"
Her
:"
Yeah"

Ihungupwi
thasmi
l
eyf
ace.
. 
WOW ,
THECONNECTI
ONI
SUNEXPLAI
NABLY!

TOBECONTI
NUED 
[
04/
28,
19:
09]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t54

NOTEDI
TED 
'
AsItr
aceafingert
iponmycheekt of
eelthe
t
ear
s, abur
ningsensat
ioncaughtmyatt
enti
on
!Mytear
shadtur
nedt
obl
oodandsur
ely,
my
deat
hisnear
ing"
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Kwena

Il
ookedatthebusinesscar dBoi t
umel ogot
fr
om hersocall
ed"lesbian"friendwhi l
epacing
al
laround..
Icoul
dn'tshakeof fthefeelingthatI
knewhersincewellitdispl
ayedherpi cturebutI
coul
dn'tr
eall
ytel
lwher eIknewherf rom ...
"
Done!"Boi
tumel
ospokeasshemadeherway
i
nthebedroom

If
akedachuckl
e 
Me:
"Fi
nal
l
y!"
Shewalkeduptomeandsnatchedt
het
he
busi
nesscardawayf
rom me 
Her
:"
Whatar
eyoudoi
ngwi
tht
hat
?"
Il
aughed,l
ikel
i
ter
all
ylaughed.
Shekeptqui
et
whil
elooki
ngatme
Me:
"Your
eal
l
ythi
nkI
'
mint
olesbi
ans?"
Sheshy
lykeptqui
etandIst
il
ll
aughed 
Me:"
jeez,
Imighthav
ebeenapr
osti
tut
elby
f
orcebutthet
rut
hisIdol
oveadi
ckgir
l!"
Her
:"
Thi
ngshappen"
Ist
oppedlaughi
ngwhenIsawt
hatshewas
bei
ngseri
ous"
Me:"
Boit
umeloNo.
.noandno!Don'
ttel
lme
you'
rei
nter
est
edi
nher"
Shel
aughed 
Her
:"
Real
l
yKwena?
Andt
hispr
egnancy
?"
Isi
ghed 
Me:"GoodcauseIdon'
twanty
ouconf
usi
ng
yoursel
f"
Sher
oll
edherey
es 
Her
:"
Iunder
stand"
 
Shesatont
hebed 
Her:"KwenaIfeell
i
kelesbiansaregood
l
isteners.Mostofthem havebeenhurtal
oti
n
l
ifeandt endtobegoodadv isor
sandbesi
des
t
hatIf eelsomuchconnect edtoher"
Thatshockedme 
Me:
"Ar
eyout
hathur
t?"
Shel
aughed 
Her:
"Wenev
ergetti
met otal
kaboutour
emoti
ons,t
heprost
it
uteli
feandfi
nall
ythenew
l
if
e"
Isi
ghed,
Ireal
l
yhat
eexpr
essi
ngmyemot
ions 
Me:"
Lot
iony
ourbody,
I'
ll
getussomet
hingt
o
dr
ink"
Her
:"
See?
Thi
siswhatI
'
mtal
ki
ngabout"
"
Yousti
llhavet
hisf
oam bath?"Iaskedtaki
ng
t
hefoam bathf
rom hert
oil
etr
y..Iwasignor
ing
t
heconversi
on 
Shest
oodup 
Her
:"
Mxm "
Shetookt
helot
ionandwal
kedbackt
othe
bat
hroom.
..
•
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

Itwasnowt hatIwasstar
ti
ngtoseeorshoul
d
sayfeelwhatIhavedonetoBoi
tumelo.
.I
twas
hit
ti
ngmel i
keani ght
mare..
Howandwhydi dI
beathersobad?
Shi
t!!
!Whati
fshel
ostt
hebaby?
Wher
ecoul
dshebe?
I
sshesaf
e?
I
ssheal
ri
ght
?

Thosequesti
onsrani
nmymi ndasIamemor
y
ofwhathappenedbackcl
i
cked..
Ihel
dont
omy
pai
nful
shoulder,t
hepai
nwastoomuch

"
Isi
tthatpai
nful
?"
It
urned,
itwasChr
issy
 
Me:
"I
tsnot
hingIcan'
thandl
e" 
Her:
"LuuI
'm sorr
yforwhathappenedear
li
eron,
IknowI'
mt hereasonyouareinpai
nsnow"
Ichuckl
ed 
Me:
"Chr
ist
inaOwens,
arey
ouapol
ogi
sing?
"
Shel
aughed 
Her
:"
IwanttomeetherLut
hando,
ist
hatt
oo
muchtoask?"
Shewasgett
ingemotional,Icouldtel
lshe
meanti
t,Chr
issydoesn'teasi
lyleti
tout 
Me:
"I
-"
Her:
"I
tfeelsl
ikeGodispuni
shi
ngmethr
ough
her.
AllthebadIhavebeendoi
ngi
skeepi
ngme
fr
om fi
ndingmydaughterLuu"
Me:
"Wewi
l
lfi
ndher,
Ipr
omi
sed"
Ismi
l
edasIt
houghtofBoi
tumel
o 
Me:"Sheissuchagr eatwoman, t
ookaf
teryou
.Theonlythingdi
ff
erentabouty
ouguysisthat
sheistookindthanyou"
Shechuckl
ed 
Her
:"
Ohpl
ease"
Il
aughedandkeptasadst
atei
nst
ant
ly 
Me:"
Iputhert
hroughsomuchpai
n.Shehas
beennot
hingbutgoodtomebutIi
gnor
edthat
.Iwasevenbl
i
ndt
oev
ennot
icet
hatshei
s
broken"
Il
ookedather
 
Me:
"Sheneedsy
ouChr
issy,
youhav
etof
indher
"
Her
:"
Iwi
l
l"
*
*Si
l
ence*
*
Her:
"Hasthedoct
orpr
escr
ibedy
oumedi
cine
f
oryourpainsy
et?"
Me:
"No,
I'
m st
il
lwai
ti
ngf
orher"
Her
:"
I'
ll
gochi
llwi
thBafanaandShi
rl
eybyt
he
wai
ti
ngarea,
you'
llf
induswait
ingf
oryout
her
e
"
Me:
"Okay"

Shewal
kedout.
.
.
.
Chri
ssyandBafanaaren'ti
njur
edatall
andI
hapendtohi
thardont hesidewindowwit
hmy
shoul
derandIhepainsar esti
l
lunbear
abl
e..
•
•
•
#Ret
habi
l
e

Itr
iedmov i
ngmyl egsupagainbutIcouldn'
t
..
.Theonlythi
ngthatfuncti
onedonmybody
wasmyupperbodyonl y.
.Iwasemotional
,Chri
sti
naisheretomessmyl i
feandalr
eadyit
hasbegan...
.
.
.
Boi
neel
oandThabit
hawalkedin,Boi
neel
o
l
ookedl
ikeshehasbeencry
ing.Shecoul
dn'
t
ev
enl
ookatmyl
egs 
Thabi
tha:
"I
tal
lshal
lbewel
l"
shespokeaf
terawhi
leofsi
l
encesincet
heygot
i
n, i
twasanemoti
onalt
imeforal
lofus
Me:
"Neel
o?"
Shef
inal
l
ylookedatme 
Her
:"I.
.Ican'
tbar
eseei
ngy
oul
i
ket
his.
.I
'
m
sor
ry"
Sher
anout
 
Me:
"Boi
neel
o?"
Thabi
tha:
"I
tsf
ine,
I'
ll
got
alkt
oher.
"
Me:
"Pl
easepassmemycel
l
phonet
her
e"
Shehandedi
ttomeandal
sowal
kedout.
.

Idi
all
edBr
aBizza'
snumber
s..
Heanswer
ed
al
mostimmediat
ely
 
Hi
m:"
Beaut
if
ulRet
ha"
Me:
"Bi
zzaIneedy
out
odosomet
hingf
orme"
Hi
m:"
Tal
ktobabakhe(
me)
"
Me:"Ineedyoutotrackdownmydaughter,
Boit
umel o.Makesureyoufi
ndbef
oresunset
andKi l
lher.
Buryherwherenonwoul
dWoul d
fi
ndher  
Hi
m:"
Consi
dert
hatdone"
Me:
"It
rusty
ou"
Hi
m:"
Sur
ethi
ng"
Hehungup.
.

Iwouldrat
herdi
eknowingBoi
tumel
oisal
so
deadcauseIknowonethingf
orsur
e,Chr
ist
ina
i
sthir
styformyblood.
..

_
___
___
___
___
___
__
[
04/
28,
19:
10]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t55

'
Nomat terhowbrokenIam ,whatIhavebeen
thr
oughandallt
hepainsIfeel..
Ist
il
ldof i
nd
couragetowakeupinthemor ni
ngandt hank
him whoisabov
ef ort
heli
fehehasgi v
enme'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

I
tisfunnyhowmyhear tmel
tswhenIsee
Shi
rley
'snamef l
ashi
ngonmyscreenwhenmy
phonerings.
..

"
MsOwens"Ianswer
ed 
Shel
aughed 
Her:
"Ir
eal
l
ydohat
ethaty
ouknow.
.Buthowar
e
you?"
Me:
"Good,
wasaboutt
owakeup"
Her:
"I
'm sor
ryIcoul
dn'tcal
lyester
day,
Igot
backfr
om thehospit
al v
erylat
e"
Me:
"I
tsokay.
.Howi
smom ?
"
Her
:"
Shei
sokay,
noti
njur
edatal
l"
Me:
"I
'm gl
adshei
shey"
Her
:"
Yeah,
can'
twai
ttoseey
out
omor
row"
Ismi
l
ed,
 
Me:
"Won'
tyoubet
ir
edf
rom t
rav
ell
i
ng?
"
Her
:"
Seei
ngy
ouwi
l
lhel
pme"
Ibl
ushed 
.
..
IsawSf
isomaki
nghi
swayi
n 
Me:
"Ihav
etogo,
we'
l
ltal
klat
er"
Her
:"
Lat
er.
.Takecar
e"
Ihungupwi
thasmi
l
eonmyf
ace 
Sf
iso:
"Goodmor
ning"
Hehandedmef
lower
s 
Me:
"Mor
ning,
whydi
dn'
tyouknock?
"
Hi
m:"
Ihav
ebeenknocki
ngf
ormor
ethant
wo
mi
nut
esandnooneanswer
ed"
Me:
"Mhhokay
"
Him:"
Wherei
sKwena,wehavet
oleav
etomy
house..
Mydadi
slooki
ngf
orwar
dtomeeti
ng
you"
Ikeptqui
et 
Hi
m:"
Youokay?
"
Ikeptqui
etsti
l
l.Don'
tgetmewr ong,Iam
l
ookingforwar
dtomeet i
nghisfat
herbutthe
questi
oniswhodidheintroducemeas?
Di
dhet
ell
hisf
athert
hatI
'
m hi
sfr
iend?
I
'
m pr
egnant?
Me:
"Uhm Sf
isoI.
."Isi
ghed

"Thi
ngsmi ghthavebeenbadbet
weenmybaby
daddyandIbutt hetr
uthi
sIam f
ail
i
ngtol
etgo
ofhim "Iconti
nued 
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tunder
stand"
Me:"
Sfi
soIam notlooki
ngforarelati
onshipat
themoment.I
'm st
il
lholdi
ngont oLuthando
andhopef
ull
ythi
ngsmi ghtgetbett
er."
Ihel
dhi
shands 
Me:"Look,Idon'twannahur tyouwhil
eyou'
re
al
readyattachedtome. Luthandoi st
her
eason
whyI '
m nolongeraprostit
ute, heist
her
eason
whyIwakeupi nthemor ni
ngwi t
hhopet
hatl
ife
wi
llsomedaybewel lf
orme. "
Ismi
l
edt
hrought
het
ear
s 
Me:
"Forme,
hewoul
dki
l
l..
"
Hi
m:"
Ist
il
ldon'
tunder
stand 
Me: "Sf
isoI'
m okaywi t
hhowt hingsarebetween
us, Idon'twantyoui ntroduci
ngmet oyour
fatherasy ourgir
lf
riendt hentomorrow
Luthandoshowsupaty ourdoorsteptofetch
me. Sf
isoyou'r
eagr eatguyandallbutmyhear t
belongst oLuthandoandIdon' twantanyone
takingthatawayf rom him"
Heremovedhi
shandsfr
om mineandkept
qui
et,maybehewasshockedwi
ththespeechI
gav
ehim.
Yeah,iti
sstupi
dofmet obelieveinLut
hando
aft
erthehell
heputmet hr
oughbutt hetr
uthi
s
hetaughtandmademel ovehi m wi
thal
lmy
heartr
egardl
essofthebadluckthathasbeen
surr
oundingusingener
al.
..
•
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

"
HOLDMYHAND!
!"ISHOUTED 
BOI
TUMELO:
"Ican'
t..
.Ican'
t..
..
"
Me:
"Boi
tumel
oyoucandot
his!
!"
Shewasatthevergeoff
all
i
ng..
.I
twasamat t
er
ofl
if
eanddeath.Shewasslowl
ylosi
ngpower
andhergr
ipwaslooseni
ng 
Me:
"Youcan'
tgi
veup"
Her:"Pleasel
ookaf teryourself.
Tel
lmymot her
andsi stert
hatIforgivethem foral
lthepain
theyputmet hrough.IforgiveyouLuthandoand
pleaset el
lBafanatopr otectKwenaatallti
mes
.Til
lmemeetagai n"
Shef
inal
l
yletgoandf
ell
 
Me:
"Nooooooooooooooooooooo!
!!
"
-
--
--
-
"
Luuu?
"
"
Lut
handoman?
"
Iwokeupwithsomuchsweatonmybody
..
Shir
leywassi
tt
ingbesi
desme
Her
:"
Many
ouwer
edr
eami
ng"
Isatupst
rai
ght
 
Me:"
Manweshouldf i
ndher.Ihav
etof
indher,
I
f
elti
t.Thedr
eam f
eltsoreal
"
Her
:"
Mindt
ell
i
ngmeabouti
t?"
Me:"
I'
drat
hernott
alkabouti
t,Ihav
etocal
l
someone"
Her:
"I
'l
lbei
nthesi
tt
ingroom wit
hmom
..
AnywayIcametotel
lyoubreakfasti
sready"
Me:
"Sur
e"
Shewal
kedout.
.
I
tshi
ght
imeIt
akest
epst
ofi
ndi
ngBoi
tumel
o 
It
ookmycel
l
phonei
fIst
il
lhadKi
ngSnake'
s
numbermyheartdancedinJoywhenIf
ound
them andcal
l
edhimrightaway
 
"
Tesh"heanswer
ed 
Ichuckl
ed 
Me:
"If
eltt
hatnamei
npr
ison"hechuckl
ed 
Hi
m:"
Longt
imemyman,
howar
eyou?
"
Me:
"Notbad,
manIneedy
ourhel
p"
Hi
m:"
Andy oudoknowthati
fyouneedmyhel
p
t
henyoushoul
djoi
nthesnakesri
ght?"
Me:
"Ki
ngpl
ease"
Him:"
TeshI
'm gr
owingupandwillsoonret
ir
e
.Manthesnakesneedaleaderl
i
key ou.We
needsomeonesostrongandcarel
essabout
humans"
Me:
"Ki
ngIhav
enohear
ttoki
l
l"
Hi
m:"
Wel
lfor
getget
ti
ngmyhel
p"
Me:"
Okayokayokay..
Hel
pmef i
ndmygir
lf
riend
andwe'
llt
alkaboutt
hatwheny
oufoundher"
Him:"
That'
sTeshf orme,
I'm cur
rentl
yinKZN
..
Wasst i
ll
ont heKhumal
o'sbutallwil
lbedone
bytoni
ght.Justsendmethenamesur name
andPict
ureofher"
Ismi
l
ed,
kingsnakenev
erf
ail
s 
Me:
"Sur
e"
Ihungup.
.
•
•
•
#Shi
rl
ey

Iwal
kedbackdownst
air
sandmom wasn'
t
havi
nganymercyont
hewhisky
 
Me:
"Chr
issy"
Shelookedatme. .
Shehadtear
sinhereyes
andhonestl
yspeakingitwasmyver
yfir
stti
me
seei
ngmom l i
kethat 
Me:
"Mom ?
"
Her
:"
Baby?
"
Shequi
ckl
ywi
pedhert
ear
s 
Me:"
IknowIshoul
dbehur
ttoseeyoul
i
ket
his
butbel
i
evemeornot,I
'
m happy"
Isai
dwal
ki
ngupt
oher
 
Me:"
Itshowsy
oual
soahuman,
hav
eahear
t
andcanshowemot
ions"
Shechuckl
edt
hroughhert
ear
s 
Her:"
Ithur
tsmet oknowt hatshewas
Luthando'
sgi
rl
friend.Sheleft.
Bafanat
reat
ed
herli
kehissi
ster..Ret
habil
et r
eat
edherli
kean
ani
mal "
Al
loft
hatshockedme 
Me:"
Woa!Areyout
alki
ngaboutBoi
neel
o
?Boit
umel
o? ?
Sheal
sol
ookedatmeshocked 
Her
:"
Youknowt
hem ?
BabyI
'
mtal
ki
ngabout
Boi
tumel
o.Youal
readymety
oursi
ster
..
.BabyI
-"
Il
aughedsar
cast
ical
l
y.I
tal
lwasn'
tmaki
ngany
sense.
..
Idon'tknowBoi t
umelofacet
ofacebutIdo
KnowBoi neel
o,Ioncemetherbackat
Luthando'splacewhenKwenaandBoitumel
o
brokei nt
oLA!Quiz,Iwi
shedIcoul
dmeether
backt henbutIneverdi
d 
Her
:"
Shi
rl
ey?
"
Her
:"
BabyIwannameether"

Ikeptqui
et.
.Iwasst
il
ltr
yingt
ogeti
tal
li
n..
.
..
Sheisagangster,aprost
itut
eanddated
Luthando??Idon'
tli
keusbeingsi
ster
salready,
Icannothavesuchsister
.
..
TOBECONTI
NUED 
mot
her
'shat
red 
 
[
04/
28,
19:
10]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t56

#EXTRA 
LONGBUTUNEDI
TED

'
AloneIsitinthedar ktryi
ngt opr
ogresst
he
painthewor l
dt hr
owatme. Asecr
etmindhi
ts
hardthattearsstartrunni
ngdownmycheeks
..
Abot tl
eofal coholgetpusheddownatme, I
drankti
llIwasnumbnott ofeelt
hepainbut
whowasIl yi
ngt o?Itwast oomucht obe
i
gnored'
-
Boi
tumel
o
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Iwasi nt
hebedroom prepar
ingmyselftogo
seemom . .
Ihadto,Ihadtogatheral
lthe
str
engthinmet ogoseeherev enwhenIknewI
couldn'
thandl
eseei
ngherl i
kethat.
..
That
owalkedi
nwhi
l
eIwasst
il
lappl
yi
ng
mascar
a 
Her
:"
Neel
o?
Me:
"I
'm nol
ongermom now?
"
Her
:"
Ithoughty
ouhat
edi
t"
Me:
"Nev
ermi
nd,
whendi
dyoucomeback?
"
Her:
"Afewminut
esback.
.Boi
neel
oIneedt
o
askyousomethi
ng?"
Shesai
dsi
tt
ingont
heedgeoft
hebed
Icl
osedbackt
hemascar
aandt
urnedt
oher
 
Me:
"What
'sup?
"
Her
:"
Wher
eisBoi
tumel
o?"
Me:"
Idon'tknow"Iwassouneasyaboutt
his
whol
esituati
on
Her:"
BoineeloI'
m abouttoentertheteenage
stagenowandIneedy outobemymot her.
I
havethingsIneedshar ewithyouwhichIam
sureifBoitumelowasher eIwouldsharewith
herbutunf ort
unatel
yyouandKokodi d
somet hi
ngt oherandIknowf orsurethat
chancest hatImightseeheragainaresli
m"
Igotr
eal
l
yangr
y 
Me:"That
oareyouawaret
haty
ou'
remaki
ng
ser
iousaccusat
ions?
"
Shest
oodup 
Her
:"Am I?
"
Me:
"That
oet
swa(
getout)
!"
Her:
"Boi
neelodoyouwannaknowwhyIhadso
st
rongconnecti
onandbondwithaunt
Boi
tumelothanyou?"
Ikeptqui
et 
Her:
"You'r
etreati
ngmet hesamewayyoukoko
i
streati
ngher..Boineel
owhycan'
tyoubet
he
si
sterthatBoit
umel oneeds?
"
Ikeptqui
etst
il
l 
Shewal
kedt
ome
Her:
"Mom thisist
hefi
rstt
imeI'
m pleadi
ngto
you..
FindBoitumel
oandtrymakethings
ri
ght.
..
ThedreamsIkeeponhavingthisday
s
aredi
sturbi
ng"
Sheknel
tinf
rontofme 
"
Neel
osheneedsy
oumor
ethanany
oneel
se"
Sheevenhadt
ear
sindi
cat
ingt
het
rut
hinher
words.
..

Myforeverbl
abbi
ngThat
owasonHerknees
apol
ogisi
ng?
•
•
•
#Kwena

It
'sbeenawhi lesi
ncesomeonehasbeen
call
ingmeusi nganunknownnumberandr eal
l
y
Iwasget t
ingfedupwithitandendedup
blockingt
henumberbecauset hepersonwoul
d
callandneversayanyt
hing 
.
.
.
.
Iwalkedbacktothehotelr
oom ,Iwasata
sal
oonf oranewhairst
yle.
.Boi
tumel
owasbusy
pushingoutourbags 
Me:
"Andt
hen?
"IaskedasImademywayi
n 
Shekeptqui
et 
Me:
"Youst
il
langr
yatme?
"
Shei
gnor
edmest
il
l 
Iwal
kedtoherandpushedthebagsbecausei
t
washar
df orhersi
ncewel
lshewasstil
l
l
impi
ng 
Me:
"OkaybabeI
'
m sor
ry"
Her
:"
For?
"
Ikeptqui
et.Iwasget
ti
ngpi
ssed 
Her:
"Getr
eady,
Sfi
sowi
l
lbef
etchi
ngusI
n20
minutes"
Me:
"Boi
tumel
oyoucannotav
oidmef
orev
er"
.
..
.
Me: "
OkayBoi t
umel oI'
m begi nningtohat et hi
s
now! Whatdoy ouwantmet otellyouhuh? You
wantmet otel
l youthatI'm angry?I'm angryat
mypar entsforthisli
feI'ml i
vingwhi l
et heyare
l
ivingluxuri
ousl i
fewiththeirfamily?Youwant
met ot el
lyouthatIfellinlovebuthadt oletgo
i
nmeanst opr otectyou? Youwantmet otell
youIhat eeveryonear oundy oubecauset hey
claimtolovey oubutal lhavehiddenagendas
.WHATDOYOUWANTMETOFUCKENTELL
YOUHEEH?
"
Iwasshout
ing.
.Iev
enhadtear
s,Ihated
openi
ngupmywounds, Iwant
edtojustbur
y
them i
nme. 
Thehonestt
rut
hisIhav
ewoundsandIhate
openi
nguptosomeoneelset
oavoi
dtear
s...
Her
:"
I'
m-"
Me:
"Sav
eit"
Wit
hthatbei
ngsaidIwal
kedout.
Ijustwant
ed
t
oroll
abluntanddoseof
fabit.
..
•
•
•
•
#Ret
habi
l
e
Everyti
meIt r
iedtomov emyl egsandwhen
theycouldn'tmov e, Igotreall
yangr y.
.Myli
fe
wasf al
li
ngapar tandIwasgoi ngbankruptand
l
osingpower. Mypr osti
tuteswer enolonger
working,thecardeal er
shipdidn'tbri
ngthecars
toallmyf uneralparloursthepr evi
ousweeksall
becauset heydidn'treceiv
et heirmonthly
payment. .
.
Itwasmessedup.
.
Ical
l
edbr
aBizza.
Heanswer
edal
most
i
mmediat
ely
 
Hi
m:"
Sugar
?"
Me:
"Bi
zzahav
eyougotany
thi
ngy
et?
"
Him:"Iwasabouttocally ou..
Ihavegoodnews
.Apparentl
yBoit
umel oisi nCapeTownwi t
hher
fr
iend...
Ihavebeenchecki ngoutherever
y
mov eandlooksli
keshe' l
l bel
eavi
ngthehotel
now. Wereonlywait
ingf orhertol
eavethehotel
andthat'
swhenwe' l
l gettoshoother"
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:
"Good,
nowupdat
emewi
thev
ery
thi
ng 
Hi
m:"
Sur
ethi
ng"
HehungupandIsmi
l
ed.
.

•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o 
If
eltr
eal
l
ybadf
ormaki
ngKwenasoangr
y..
Sf
isowal
kedi
naf
teraf
ewmi
nut
esl
ooki
ngal
l
j
oll
y 
Hi
m:"
Ladi
esIhopey
ou'
rer
eady"
Ikeptqui
et.
.
Hetookourbagsandgavethem t
othe
chauf
feurt
henwalkedout
 
Hi
m:"
Arey
ouokay?
IsKwenanotbacky
et?
"
Me:
"Sheepi
s,shei
sbyt
hebal
cony"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
gocal
lher"
Kwena:
"AndI
'
m her
e"
Shewal
kedt
ous 
Sf
iso:
"Wer
eyousmoki
ngweed?
"
Kwena:
"Nonofy
ourbusi
ness"
Sf
isor
aisedhi
sey
ebr
ow
"
O-k-
a-y
"
Weal
lwal
kedt
ohi
scaranddr
oveout.
.
Iwasinthebacksitwit
hKwena..
Iwant
edto
apol
ogisetoherbuthermi
ndseemedtobe
ver
yfarfrom us.
..
Thecart
yreseemedt
obegi
vi
nguspr
obl
ems
..
Sfi
sostopped 
Hi
m:"
Ithi
nkwe'
rehav
ingapuncher
" 
Kwenar
oll
edherey
es 
Sf
isopul
l
edt
othesi
deandweal
lwal
kedout
 
Me:
"Kwenaar
eyouokay
?"
Shel
ookedatmeandsmi
l
ed 
Her
:"
I'
m sor
ryf
orsnappi
ngaty
ouear
li
eron"
Me:
"I
'mt
heonet
hatshoul
dbeapol
ogi
sing"
AblackwindowlessIvecostoppedwherewe
wereParked..
BehindtheblackIvecopar
ked
about4Blackandwi ndowdeemedRange
Rovers 
Me:
"Kwenawhat
'
sgoi
ngon?
"
Kwena:
"Ithi
nksomet
hingwi
l
lhappennow,
Boi
tumeloRunandhi
debehi
ndthatt
ree"
Iwasget
ti
ngscar
ed 
Me:
"Kwena?
"
Her
:"
Boi
tumel
onow!
!!
!"
Ihear
dagunshot
 
Sf
iso:
"Shi
t!!
!What
'
sgoi
ngon?
"
MoregunshotsstartedFirr
ingup..
Icouldn'
t
understandwhatwashappeni ng..
Some
gunshotswerepointingatusandotherswere
morel i
kethepeoplewereshootingeachother.
..
Oneoftherangeovercamemywayother
peopl
ekeptshooti
ngitbuti
twasbul
l
etpr
oof
ed 
Kwena:
"BOI
TUMELORUN!
!!
"
Itr
iedr
unningbutoneoft
heguy
swal
kedoutof
thehot
elandranmyway...
"
RUNN!
!!
!!
"Kwenashout
ed 
Itr
iedbuttheguycaughtupwit
hme. .It
ri
ed
fi
ghti
ngoffhisgri
pbuthewast oostr
ongf or
me. .
Heplaceaclothonmymout handItried
fi
ghti
ngbutIcouldn'
tbreat
h..
ThenIslowlylost
powerandi nst
ant
lybecameweak..Thenitwas
l
ightsout.
.

TObecont
inued
[
04/
28,
19:
11]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t57

'
Atti
mesIwakeupwi ththeurgetogiv
eupbut
ati
nyangel
icvoi
ceisalwaysther
et or
emi
nd
meofthereasonIhel
donf orsolong'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Kwena

TheRangeRov ersranoff.Ther
ewer edead
bodiesal
lov
er,aboutnineofthem andthe
I
vecohadalsor anoffbuttoadiff
erent
di
recti
onoftheRangeRov ers..
Thepol
icecars,
ambul
ances,
for
ensi
cset
c
weret
here..
If
eltsohelpl
ess.
.Theyt
ookher,
theyt
ookher
awayfrom me. 
It
ri
edhar
dtoprot
ectherbutIf
ail
ed.
Ibl
amed
Sf
isof
oral
loft
hat.Ihat
edhim.
Ihatedeveryone.
WhatifIhadlostherfor
ever
thi
st i
me? Sheismyeveryt
hing.Shewas
supposedt ofi
ndhappi
nessatlastbutnowthi
s
? .
.
.
.
.
.
Thepol
i
ceof
fi
cercamemyway.
.
Iwasst
il
li
nt ear
sandhopingsomeonewould
l
aughanditsaywasjustamocker
ythenbr
ing
backmyBoitumelo 
Of
fi
cer:
"Mem?
" 
Il
ookedathi
m 
Hi
m:"
Ibel
i
evey
ouwer
eint
hecr
imescenewhen
i
tal
lhappened"
Il
ookedathi
m

Hi
m:"
You'l
lhav
etocomewi
thmet
othest
ati
on
f
oraquesti
oni
ng
Ichuckl
edbi
tt
erl
y 
Me:"You'
resoevil
, mysisteri
soutt
her
e
missingandshemi ghtgetkil
l
edandal
lyou
carefori
sthestatementI'
llgi
vetoy
ou?"
Hi
m:"
Nomem i
-"
Ist
oodup 
Me:
"Youknowwhat,
got
ohel
ltsk"
Iwal
kedawayf
rom hi
m..
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o
Iwasdriv
ingtot hehospit
al butmymi ndwas
j
ustoccupied.Thatomadesense, herwor ds
andtear
skeptonr unni
nginmymi nd. Iwas
supposetoprotectBoit
umel obutIjustthrew
herawayev enwhenIsawt heworl
dhast urned
agai
nsther.
Yes,Il
oveLuthandoandI'
m st
il
lgonnafi
ghtf
or
hi
m butIshoul
dmaket hi
ngsri
ghtbetween
Boi
tumeloandI..

.
..
Ipar
kedbyt
hebasementandwal
kedi
nsi
de.

.
..
.
Mom wasjustsit
ti
ngt
her
eandcoul
dseefr
om
adi
stancethathermi
ndwasel
sewher
e.
Iwal
kedi
n 
Me:
"Mom?
Shel
ookedatmeandsmi
l
ed
Her
:"
I'
m sohappyt
oseey
ou"
Ial
sosmi
l
ed 
Me:
"Howar
eyou?
"
Shej
ustshr
uggedhershoul
der
s 
Isatbesidesher. .
Ineededtosayt hingstoher
butIcouldn't.
.Thatomademer ealisethatIill
tr
eatedBoi t
umel o,shemademer eali
set hatI
havebeenabadsi sterandIwant edt orecti
fy
mymi stakesbutwher edoIbegi nwi thmymom
beingl
ikethis?
Her
:"
Arey
ouokay?
"

.
.
Befor
eIcoul
danswerher,t
hewomanwho
shotmom madeherwayin..
.
Fearki
ckedi
ninst
ant
ly
Shehadhergunpoi
nti
ngatmom andhadt
ear
s 
Her
:"
Ret
habi
l
ehowcoul
dyoubesohear
tl
ess?
"
Sheev
enhadt
ear
s 
Mom:
"I
nwhatway?
"
Her:"
Howcany outreatmydaught erl
iket
hat
? Youmademer unawayf r
om her.Youmade
myl i
femiserable.
Youmademehat emysel f
foryourwrongdoingsandy ouhadtopunish
mydaught erli
kethat?"Asmuchasshet ri
est o
actstrong,shecouldn'tTearskeptonbetr
aying
her..
Mom keptqui
eta
Her:
"Aprosti
tut
eRethabi
l
e?AFUCKEN
pr
osti
tute!!
!Whatki
ndofmotherar
eyouheeh?
"
Asoftsobescapedherli
p 
Ial
sokeptqui
et,
Icoul
dn'tr
eal
l
ytel
lwhoshe
wastal
ki
ngaboutbutt
hiswaspoi
nti
ngat
Boi
tumelo,
 
Ar
ewenotshar
ingt
hesamemom ?
I
ssheBoi
tumel
o'
smom ?
 
Shockki
ckedi
tinst
ant
ly.
..
•
•
•
•
#Kwena

Thepol
icemanagedt
otakemebackt
othe
hot
el.
 
Ididn'
twantt
ogot oSfi
so'
shome.
Ihat
edhi
m,
Ifeltl
i
keheplannedt
his.
Tearscoul
dn'tst
opflowi
ng.
Ikeptoncal
l
ingher
cel
lphonehopingshe 
Wouldanswerbutmyheartbr
okewheni
tkept
onr
ingi
ngstrai
ghtt
ovoicemail.
.
.
..
Ical
l
edBaf
ana.
Ineededhi
m
"
Kwena?
"
Ikeptquiet.
Iwant
edt ohungupbutmyhear
t
didn'
tal
lowmet o.Ikeptonsobbi
ng 
Hi
m:"
Kwena?
Arey
ouokay?
"
Ikeptqui
et 
Hi
m:"
Babe?
"
"
They
...
They
..Theyt
ookher"
Hi
m:"
Baear
eyoucr
ying.
Kwenawhat
swr
ong?
"
Me:"
TheytookBoitumel
o! .
..
I..
Iwant
edto
pr
otectherbutI.
.t
hey..
theytookher.
FanaI
'
m
al
one.."
Ihear
dhi
m pani
cki
ngont
heot
hersi
de 
Him:
"Sendmeyourl
ocat
ion,
I
'm dr
ivi
ngt
her
e
now!!
!"Hehangup 
.
..
.
It
ext
edhi
m myl
ocat
ion.
..

.
..
Icr
iedt
il
lIcoul
dn'
tcr
yany
mor
e..
.
..
.
..
Myphoner
ang
I
twas,
anunsav
ednumbert
hathasbeen
bot
her
ingme.
Ianswer
edasfri
endl
yasIcoul
dbecauseIwas
fedupwit
hthi
sperson 
Me:
"Hel
l
o?"
Theper
sonkeptqui
et 
Me:
"Hel
l
o?"
.
..
Theper
sonkeptqui
etst
il
l 
Igotr
eal
l
ypi
ssedof
f 
Me: "
List
enherey oumotherfucker,ifyouhave
Boit
umeloandt hi
nkyouwi l
lgetawaywi t
hher
thenYou'r
estupidbecauseyouhav et hewhol
e
worldcomingforherandthatincludesme! "
Theper
son:
"Kwe.
.Kwena?
"
Myj
awdr
oppedi
mmedi
atel
y 
Me:
"Mom?
"
Her:
"I
-I
"
Webothletoutl
oudsobswewer eboth
over
whel
medbydi ffer
entemoti
ons,i
tsbeena
whil
esi
nceIlastheardfr
om her.
.
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o
Iopenedmyey es,myv i
ewwasn'tblurandI
wasn'tdi
zzyei
ther.
.Il
ookedaround,
andIwasin
agoldandwhitebedroom ,
thebedwassobi g
andthebedroom wasalsobeautif
ul.
Iwon'tsayIwaski
dnappedbecauseIwasn'
t
ti
edbutwhenItri
edrunningt
othedoorto
escape,itwasl
ocked..
Ihi
tthedoorhar
d 
"
Hel
p!!
!"Ishout
edt
il
lugav
eup.
.
Theper
sonwasn'
tgonnaopenup.
.
Iturnedandwalkedbacktothebedandthere
wasat r
eyt
hathadfrui
tsandcreekyoghurt
,wingsandChipsthenamangoj ui
cebyt hebed
si
de. ..
Ismiled,Luthandoistheonl
yper
sonthat
knowsGr eeky oghur
t,wi
ngsandchi
psaremy
favouri
tefoodandhemadesur ehealwaysgot
them formeev eryt
imeIvi
sit
ed
.
..
.
.

Mybabyki
ckedwhi
l
eIwas
Sti
l
l i
naworl
dofthought
smaki
ngmesmi l
e
wit
hmyhandonmyt ummywit
hhopest
hat
he/shemi
ghtki
ckagain.
.

TOBECONTI
NUED 
[
04/
28,
19:
11]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED

 I
nser
t58

'
Ihavel
earntt
oletgo.Itoldmysel
fI'
llnev
er
for
cemyselftopeoplewhodoesvalueme. I
havel
ear
nttoacceptnottomakethewor l
d
l
ovemebecauseal r
eadyIhavetof
ailedto
makemyownmot herloveme'
-Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Iwasshocked,angr
yatmymotherf
orkeepi
ng
suchsecretf
orsomanyyear
sandal
sohurtby
al
lofit.
.

Itri
edtakingital
li
nbutitwashardt
odigesti
t,
allt
hisyearsIwasblindtoseemymother'
s
hatredtowardsBoit
umelowascausedbythe
reasonthatsheisnotherdaught
er.
.

"Tal
k!!
Rethabil
etal
k.Why..
Whydi
dyouhat e
mychildthatmuch?"Thewomenyel
ledagain,
shesti
llhadhergunpoi
nti
ngatmom .Sheeven
hadtears,shewasangr
yandcoul
dcl
ear l
ysee
f
rom herey
est
hatshewant
edt
oki
l
lmom 
Mom:"
Youmademehat
eherChr
ist
ina!You
..
Youmademe!!
"
Chr
ist
inachokedt
hegun 
Me:
"Whoawhoawhoapl
easemaChr
ist
ina!
"
Shel
ookedatme 
Her
:"St
ayoutofi
t!
"
Mom: "
Christ
inaItrust
edy ou!!Itookyouasmy
si
ster.
Youwer easnakeandIhadt orevenge
myselfandIusedBoi tumelo.Icamet oy ou
ni
ghtanddaycr yi
ngandaskingf oryour
advi
sesbecauseIhadt houghtyouwer emy
bestfr
iendbuty ouknewdeepdowny ouwerea
sl
uttosleepwi thmymanbehi ndmyback! !"
Mom wasbei ngemot ional
,hervoiceroseinto
l
oudandangr ywords
"Ihadtogi
veuplif
etocareandl
ookaf
tertwo
girl
s,Iwasyoungmyselfandwher
ewerey ou
? WHERETHEFUCKWEREYOUHUH? !
!Ihadto
t
akeital
ltheswearwordsgi
venbyNeel
os
f
atheral
lbecauseyour
anaway!!!
"
Mom al
soshout
edi
ntear
s..
Iwasal
sobegi
nni
ngt
obeemot
ional

Iwentdownonmykneesr
ighti
nfr
ontof
Chri
sti
na 
Me:
"Pl
easedon'
ttakeherawayf
rom me"

Nomat t
erhowangryIwasatmom , Isti
ll
neededher.
Idon'
tthi
nkI
'l
lbeabletoliv
e
wit
houther.
Sheismyeveryt
hing..
.
Shel
ookedatmeandwi
pedhert
ear
s
Me:"
Iknow,
Iknowshewr
ongedy
oubut
pl
ease.
..
"

Shekeptqui
etwhi
l
ehergunwasst
il
lpoi
nti
ng
atmom ..
.
•
•
•
#Kwena

Istoodbythedoorf ramewhil
ehealsostood
thereandstareddeepinmyey es.Hecouldsee
Ihavebeencr yi
ng, smoki
ngweedanddr inki
ng
.Ihavebeendoi ngthatt
okeepmymi ndall
occupiedandshi f
tmyselffr
om real
i
tynott o
l
osemysani t
y.
I
nhi
sey
es,
Icoul
dseepi
ty.
Ihat
edt
hat,
Ihat
edwhensomeonedi
dthat.
.
Fi
nal
ly,
hewal
kedinandall
owedmet omangl
e
i
nhisar
msandleti
tal
lout.
.Hehushedme 
Me:
"Shei
sgoneBaf
anaandI
'
m al
one.
."
Isai
d
whi
l
einsobs 
Hi
m:"
You'
renotal
one,
I'
m wi
thy
ou"
Imov
edawayf
rom hi
sembr
ace 
Me:"Whatiftheyki
l
ledher,
thebaby?
"Ist
art
ed
cr
yingall
ov eragai
n 
Him:
"I
'm sur
etheyareokay"hetri
edhuggi
ng
meagainbutthist
imeIsteppedbackali
tt
le
andwipedmyt ear
s 
Me:"No.
.No..
NoKwena, y
ouhavetoactst
rong
fort
hem !
"Isai
dtr
yingt
ocalm mysel
fandact
str
ong..
Bafana:
"Kwenay oudon'
thavetoforceyourself
tobestrongevenwhent her
eisnoneedt o
!Babe, y
ouhav etocry.
Letital
loutandthere
,you'
llf
eelmuchbetternottoburyi
tall
insi
de
youandpr et
endingtobeokay"
Ist
art
edshi
ver
ing 
Me:
"Whati
fsheishungry
?Thi
rst
y?Whati
fshe
i
sint
hedarkal
one? What-
"
Hef
inal
l
ycaughtupwi
thmeandshutmewi
th
hi
sthumb 
Hi
m:"Thi
nkposi
ti
ve.Sheneedsy
out
obest
rong
f
orherandthebaby" 
Hehuggedme

"
Lor
dpl
easekeephersaf
e"
•
•
•
#Sf
iso

Ihav
ebeenl
ockedupi
nmyr
oom .
Dadneededanswer
s,Ty
rahasalsobeen
cal
l
ingwantingt
oknowi
fmyfatherl
iked
Boi
tumelo.
.

Ihadl
oti
fquest
ionsi
nmymi
nd 
Whot
ookher?
Whydi
dtheyt
ake?
Whydi
dtheytakeherwhenshewassupposed
t
omeetmyf at
her?

Andt
heywer
eal
ll
eftunanswer
ed

Iti
spainfultoseeangerandhatr
edi nKwena's
eyes,accordingtoherIknowwhot ook
Boit
umeloandt hehonestt
rut
hisI'
mi nthedark
assheis. .
.
Myphoner
angf
ort
he17t
hti
me,
itwasst
il
l
Ty
ra

Ashesi
tantasIwast
oanswerit,
att
heendI
hadtoansweri
tandl
ethi
m knowabout
Boi
tumelo 
Hi
m:"
Babe?
"HespokeassoonasIanswer
ed 
Ikeptqui
et 
Hi
m:"
Sfi
so?
"
Me:
"Youki
dnappedherdi
dn'
tyou?
"
Him:"
Kidnappedwho?
Whatar
eyout
alki
ng
about?"
Me:"I
'
mt al
kingaboutBoitumel
odamnit!
!You
for
cedmet obringRethabil
eandBoi
tumeloi
n
ourli
vesknowingy ouwanttoki
dnapher!
Why
Tyr
a? It
houghty oulov
edme- "
"
Whoawhoa!Sfi
sowhat
'
sgoi
ngon?
"Hecut
mysent
ence 
Me:"Itol
dyouthatweshouldrel
ocat
eandst art
somewher eel
se!Whereevery
onewillsupport
thatI'
m gaybutyouhadtobri
ngcompl i
cati
ons
i
nmyl if
e!"
Icr
iedoutLoud 
Him:
"Babycal
m downandexpl
aint
omewhat
'
s
goi
ngon"
Ikeptqui
et 
Hi
m:"
Baby?
Babe?
"
Ihungupandswi
tchedmyphoneof
f 
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

"
KingSnake?
"Ianswer
edmyr
ingi
ngcel
l
phone 
Hi
m:"
Tesh!
"
Ichuckl
ed,
 
"Yourt
oneal
onet
ell
smey
ouhav
egotgr
eat
news!"
Heal
sochuckl
ed
Hi
m:"Idef
eatedtheKhuamalos,
Ikil
l
edthe
gr
eatKingoftheIt
ali
anos.
Theydon'
tcal
lme
ki
ngsnakefornothi
ngmyfri
end"
Me:
"Tal
ktome"
Hi
m:"I
'
vegott
hegi
rl,
shei
sinasaf
eandwar
m
pl
ace"
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:
"IknewIcoul
dcountony
ou"
Hechuckl
ed
Hi
m:"
Ever
ythi
ng 
myf
ri
end"
Ihungupwi
thawidesmil
eofmyf
ace,
my
womanandchi
ldaresaf
e!!
!
Il
ookedup

"
God,
you'
regr
eat!
!"Isai
dthatoutl
oud.
..

TOBECONTI
NUED 
[
04/
28,
19:
12]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED

 I
nser
t59
'REPEATED: I
t'
sallanimpossibl
esi
tuat
ion,
nonseemst omakesense. Theworl
dhas
turnedagai
nstmeandIhav enoonetoleanon
forstr
engthbecausetheli
mpinggetsworse'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Baf
ana

Iwat chedhersl
eepingpeaceful
ly.Shewas
sleepingli
keababyandcoul dtel
lsheneeded
thesl eepandneedednothi
ngt otodist
urbher.
..

Itookthef
leecebl
anketandcov
eredherbef
ore
ki
ssingherfor
eheadthenwal
kedouttomakea
call.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
"
Fana?
"Luthandoanswer
edal
most
i
mmediat
ely 
Me:
"Luthandomywomani sl
osi
nghersani
ty
man!Isn'
tthereany
thi
ngy
oucandotofind
Boi
tumelo? "
Hekeptqui
et 
Me:"ManBoitumel
owasi nCapeTown,they
tookher.LuumanI'
m beggingyou,
useyour
connect
ionstofi
ndheratleastf
ory
ourchil
d..
."
Hi
m:"
Mancomedown"
Ikeptqui
etandtri
edtobreath,honest
lyseei
ng
Kwenabr okenl
i
kethatwaskill
i
ngmebot h
physi
call
yandemot i
onal
l
y  
Hi
m:"
Thesnakesf
oundher
"
Me:
"What?
"
Hi
m:"
Justl
i
ket
hat,
I'
ll
bei
nCapeTownby
mi
dni
ght,
I
'mr
eal
l
ydy
ingt
oseeher"

Me:
"Lut
handoI
'
m happyokay"
Hi
m:"
But
?"
Me:
"Whatdi
dtheSnakeswanti
nret
urn?
"
Hesi
ghed 
Him:
"Canwet
alkaboutt
hatwhenI
'
minCape
Town?"
Me:
"Sur
e"

Ihungup, IknowI'
m supposedt obehappy
knowingKwenawi l
lal
sobeov erthemoonbutI
knowf orsurewherethereisthesnakes
i
nvolv
ed, thereisbl
ood

.
.
"
Arey
ouokay?
"
It
urnedandsmi
l
ed 
Me:
"Yeah,
Ithoughty
ouwer
est
il
lasl
eep"
Her
:"
Icannotsl
eep"
Me:
"Comeher
e"

Shewal
kedupt
ome 
Me:
"Ihav
easur
pri
sef
ory
ou"
Her:
"Idon'
twantanysur
pri
ses,
theonl
ythi
ngI
wantisBoit
umelo"
Me:
"Kwenapl
ease"
Her
:"
I'
m sor
ry"
Me:"
It
sokaybutbabeIhav
esomet
hingt
otel
l
you"
Shebr
oughtal
lherf
ocust
ome 
Me:
"Ret
habi
l
eisnotBoi
tumel
o'
sbi
ologi
cal
mot
her"
Iexpect
edt
oseeshocki
nherey
esbutt
her
e
wasn'
t 
Her
:"
Iknow"
Ir
aisedmyey
ebr
ows
Me:
"Youknow?
"
Her :
"Bafanai tsobvious, whatkindofamot her
treatsherchi ldLi
ket hat?
Turnsherown
daught erapr ost
it
utebuty etcal
l herher
daught er?IknewandIsawi tri
ghtt hr
oughher
thatshewasnotBoi tumelo'
smot herbutI
neededcl ari
ty.Ineededt oknowwho
Boitumel o'smot herisandIknewshecoul d
helpmehel pBoitumel obutwher ewasIgoing
tostartlooki ngforher? "
Me:"
Babethi
sisgoi
ngt
obeat
oughsi
tuat
iont
o
deal
with"
Her
:"
Bafanafi
ndBoitumeloandevery
thi
ngwi
l
l
bedeal
twithwhenyoufindherandasfor
Ret
habi
le,Iwil
lper
sonal
lydealwit
hher"
Shewal
kedupt
othewi
ndowandst
ared
t
hroughi
t 
Her:
"Iwanthert
ofaceherdeat
handhav
efear
ofwalki
nguponitbutshewon'
thav
eany
choi
cebuttowalkuponi t"
Ikeptqui
et,
angerwasr
eal
l
ybui
l
dingi
nwi
thi
n
her..
.
•
•
•
#Ret
habi
l
e

Ihadnoanswersf orBoineel
oatall.
Shehas
beensit
ti
ngont hechairstar
ingatmesince
Chri
sti
nalef
t.Boineel
osav edmylif
eandI'm
real
l
ythankf
ul 
Me:
"Mydaught
eri
-"
Shest
oodupandwal
kedupt
ome 
Her
:"
Ret
habi
l
ejustt
ell
met
het
rut
h"
Me:"Whatdoy ouwantmetosayBoineelo
heeh?Ial
readysai
devery
thi
ngthatneededto
besaid!"
 
Shechuckl
edbi
tt
erl
y 
Her:"
You'r
enotevensorr
y!!
Howcany oubeso
cruel?YoumadeBoitumel
oaprostit
ute, y
ou
abusedher.Youmadeherdegradeher sel
fand
madehernev erhav
edigni
tyandrespectshe
deservedtohave"
Il
aughedev
il
ly
 
Me:"
Whydidn'
tyoupr
otectherf
rom mei
freal
l
y
you'
reanAngel
?"
Shekeptqui
et 
Me:"Whydon'tyoujustbethankfulbecauseI
gaveyouthebestofl i
fethanBoitumelo?You
werenothi
ngbutt heblacksheepandIwas
ther
etoprotectyoubecausey ouaremy
daughter.
Youhav enoeducationatallbutyou
havethebestofli
feev er
ychil
dwi shestohave..
Whaty ouwer ebestatwasopeningyourlegs
forotherwomen'shusbandsandIwast hereas
acar i
ngmot hert
ocov eral
lyourtr
acksandgi v
e
awayy oursonsot hatyoudon'
trai
setwoki ds
whileyouareakidy oursel
f,whycan'ty
ouj ust
thankme? "

"ITHOUGHTYOUSAIDBOI
TUMELOI
STHE
BLACKSHEEPANDISTHEONETHATHAS
TWOKI DS?"
WeturnedtothedoorandLuthando'
smother
wascomf ort
ablyl
eaningagai
nstt
hedoorfr
ame
,myjawdr oppedatthemoment!!!
•
•
•
#Kwena
Itookal onghotshower, Ireal
lyneededit.I
keptont hinkingaboutmymot her.Evennow, i
t
wasst il
lhardt obeli
eveshecal l
edme. Iwasn't
angryathershewasj ustdependedonmy
fatherwhenheki ckedmeandhadnosayi nit
atall.Ihavelotsandl otsofthi
ngst oshar
ewith
andal laresadmemor i
es,theonlygoodisthat
Ihav eFanai nmyl if
enow. .
.
.
Iwalkedoutoft heshoweranddr iedmysel f
thenwal kedoutbutRosepet alsl
aying
carelessl
yont hefl
oorleadingt othebedroom
caughtmyat tenti
on.Islowl yfoll
owedt hem
andBaf anawasst andingther eandhadt hebed
, f
loordecor atedandtherewer eredcandles,
redwi ne,redvelvetcake,cream andt heli
stis
endless...
I
twasjustbeaut
if
ulandr
eal
l
yitsoot
hedmy
hear
t 
Hi
m:"
MissKoal
epe?
"Heof
fer
edmehi
shand
andIwal
kedupt
ohi
m 
Me:
"Whendi
dyoudoal
loft
his?
"
Hesmi
l
ed 
Hi
m:"
Thatdoesn'
tmat
ter"
Ial
sosmi
l
ed 
Me:
"CanIatl
eastgogetdr
essed"
Hi
m:"
Ilov
ethenakedy
ou"
Webot
hlaughed
"
KwenaIdon'
tknowwher
etobegi
nbutIguess
f
rom t
hebegi
nni
ng."
Hechuckl
edwhi l
etaki
ngoutanav
ybl
uebox
andknel
tinf
rontofme 
*
*OMG,
HEI
SPROPOSI
NG*
*

"Ihaveal
waysbeenwaiti
ngforthi
sti
me, t
he
rightt
imebutIthi
nkwi
thyoueverysecondwe
spendistheri
ghtti
me.Babe,Iknowhowwe
start
edwasn' tanyofgoodbutinyouIseea
womant hatcompletesme. I
nyouIhavef ound
mypl aceIcallhome. Ihav
eseenallyour
downf al
l
s, Yourhappymoment s,yoursadness
,tear
sbutmosti mportant
lyi
sIhaveseena
womanIknowIcanl oveandwill
i
ngt ospend
therestifmyl i
fewit
h"

"KwenaKoal
epewoul
dyoupl
easemakemet
he
happi
estmanoneart
handmarr
yme? "
Iswal
lowed,Iwassuf
focat
edbydi
ff
erent
emoti
ons..

NOTEDI
TED
[
04/
28,
19:
12]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED

 I
nser
t60
'
Youar enev erstrongenoughi
fyouhavenever
beenbr okeny est
erdaybutwokeupwithasmil
e
today.I
fy ouhav eneverbeent
hrowninthe
darknesst odaybutsti
llcameoutst
rongas
steel.
'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Kwena

Wehav
ebeensi
l
entf
oraf
ewmi
nut
es.
Trustme,
IloveBaf
anabutIl
otsofquest
ions
raninmymind 
WasIr
eadyt
obehi
swi
fe?
Tocommi
t?
Todowi
fel
ydut
ies?
Tobecal
l
edMr
s?
Me:
"I
..
I-
"
Him:
"Babe,IknowIcaughty ouof
fguar
d,I
knowyouweren'texpect
ingthi
ssosoonfr
om
mebutKwenaIl oveyou.Whywaitwhenmy
hear
tyear
nsfory ouandonlyyou?"
Me:
"FanaIdon'
twannabethatgi
rlwhoi
sready
f
oraweddingbutnotmar
ri
age"
Webot
hkeptqui
et 
Me:"
FanaIl
ovey
ou,
Ilov
eyouwhol
ehear
tedl
y
but
-"
Wor
dsf
ail
edme,
"
Aren'
tyour
eady?
"Hi
swor
dscameoutv
ery
weak 
Me:
"Iam r
eady"
Wekeptqui
et
"
ButI
'
m scar
ed"Iwhi
sper
ed 
Hi
m:"
We'
l
l-
"
Me:
"YesFana.
."
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:
"Iwi
l
lmar
ryy
ou!
!"
ThatcaughtHi
m bysur
pri
se,
judgi
ngbyhi
s
faci
alexpr
essi
on..
"
Real
l
y?"
Il
aughed"
real
l
y!!
"
Hequickl
ystoodupandgavemet hemost
passi
onateki
ssthatl
eftmewant
ingformore
for
ever..
..
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Icoul
dhavebeenscar
edknowingIam
ki
dnappedbutt
omysur pr
iseIwasn'
tatal
l
.It
f
eel
sli
keIhav
ebeenhel
dhost
agebysomeone
whowant
stoscar
emenottohar
m me.

Ever
ythingIwantedorneeded,Igoti
t.Ther
e
wasev enadoctorthatcametoseeme
yest
erdayandnottol i
eabouti
t,Imightl
ose
mybaby. .

Thet
houghtofi
twasser
iousl
yki
l
li
ngme.
Iknow,IknowIst ar
tedoffonabadspacewi th
thi
schi
ldbutinjustafewday s,theBondthat
grewbetweenusi sunexpl
ainabl
e.Theki
cks
aresopri
celess.
..

Theguythatbringsmefoodmadehiswayin
wit
hafruitbasketandMcDonal
d'
stakeaway 
Hi
m:'
'
Ihav
ebeeni
nst
ruct
edt
obr
ingy
ouf
ood"
Hegav
emeandIt
hankedhi
m 
Hi
m:"
Wil
lyouneedany
thi
ngel
se?
Mem?
"
Ikeptqui
et 
Hestoodf
oraf
ewmi
nut
esbef
oreHedeci
ded
t
oleavemeati
t 
"
Sir
?"
Ist
oppedhi
m whenhewasaboutt
oopent
he
door
"
Mem?
"
Me:
"CanI.
.CanIusey
ourphone?
"
Him:"
Mem .Ihav
ebeeninst
ruct
ednott
oletyou
communicatewit
hany
oneelseontheout
side,
i
tstoori
sky"
"
Please.Mysi
stercoul
dbeworried.
.Ineedt
o
l
etherknowI'
m okay"Ibegged
Hi
m:"
Mem .
Icoul
dlosemyj
ob"
Me:
"Whoar
eyouwor
kingf
or?
" 
Hekeptqui
et 
Me:"
WHOTHEFUCKAREYOUWORKI NGFOR
.WHYDONTYOUJUSTKI LLMETHANTO
KEEPMEHOSTAGEI NHERE??
!!
"Ishout
ed,I
hadlostmyt
amper
 
Hequi
ckl
ywal
kedout.
.
Ir
ant
othedoorbuti
twasal
readyl
ocked 
Me:"
OPENTHATDOOR! !OPENI
TBEFOREI
KI
CKI TOPEN!
!!
"Ihi
tit

.
..
.
..
.
.
Igaveuphi
tt
ingandshout
ingont
hedoor
seei
ngIhadtur
nedmyselftoamadwoman.
..
•
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Iranaft
erLuthando'
smotherwhil
eshewalked
out.Shehear
dev ery
thi
ng,sheheardev
ery
thing
mymot hersaidandther
enolyi
nganymore
..
She 
di
dn'
twantt
oli
stent
ome.
.
.
.
.
If
inal
l
ycaughtupwi
thherbyt
hepar
kingar
ea 
"
Mapl
ease?
"
Shet
urnedandl
ookedatme 
Her
:"
Ican'
tbel
i
evey
ouandy
ourmot
hery
azi
?"
Me:"
Idi dn'
twanthert
olie"Isaidt
hatwitha
voi
cet hattr
iedt
ostopthetearsfr
om escapi
ng
mylips 
"
Ma?
?"
Ir
anaf
terher
 
"
Mamapl
ease.
..
"
Shecont
inuedwal
ki
ngt
oher
Her
:"
Whydi
dn'
tyoust
opher?
"
Ikeptqui
et,Ihav
eneverseenLuthando'
s
mothersoangry,di
sappoi
ntedandhurt 
Her
:"
Nxasukapham kwam ,
uyandi
dika(
Leav
e
mysight,
you'
reannoy
ingme)
Sheatt
empt
edt ogeti
nhercarbutIcouldn'
tlet
herl
eavewi
thoutherl
i
steni
ngtomysi deofthe
stor
y 
"Iam nottheblacksheepoft
hefamil
ybut
Boit
umel ois"Ispokenowintear
s 
Shechuckl
edbi
tt
erl
y
Her
:"
Isi
t?"
Inodded
"DoesBoi
tumel
ohav
eaki
d?"SheaskedI
shookmyheadno
"
Howmanyki
dsdoy
ouhav
e?
Ikeptqui
etbef
oreIcoul
dmumbl
e"t
wo"

Her:
"Sot
ell
me, howisshethebl
acksheep
whenshedoesn'
thav
eaki dwhil
eyouhavetwo
?"
*
*Si
l
ence*
*
Her
:"
Youabusedt
hepoorchi
l
dman!
!"
 
Me:
"i
twasmom"
Her
:"Wenanonyokoni
yafanani
ngamaqgwirha
.Ni
yofel
aezi
hogweni(Youandyourmotherar
e
t
hesame, y'
al
larewit
chesandyou'
ll
rotinhel
l
)!
!!
"

*
sil
ence*
*
Her
:"
Bendi
cinga 
umf
anel
euny
anawam (
I
t
houghtyouwer
egoodformyson)
!!
!NowIsee
t
hereasonwhyhehat
esyousomuch!"
Ishookmyheadwi
tht
ear
s.
Sheopenedhercarbutbef
oreshecoul
dst
epi
n
shespokeagai
n 
"Zekhenjendi
kuboneecangukwesaphol wam
,kuzoqhawukaunobat
ana( LetIseeyou
anywherenearmyfamily,
hellshall
breakl
oose
)!!
" 
Wit
hthatbei
ngsai
dshest
eppedi
nsi
dehercar
anddr
oveout..
Icoul
dn'thol
dinanymoresobs,
Ij
ustl
eti
tal
l
outri
ghtther
enotcari
ngwhowaslooki
ngor
whattheywouldsayordo!
•
•
•
#Shi
rl
ey
Iwasleavi
ngwithLuthandotoCapeTownbut
weregoingtopartwayswhenwegetther
e
si
ncegoingseparateways..
..
Somethi
ngwasn' tsi
tt
ingwell
wit
hme,
Boit
umelo'
sphonewasn' tgoi
ngt
hroughatand
Idon'
tknowany onewhocouldgetmehernew
tensi
fShelostherphone..
Ther
ewasaknockonmydoor.
.
Ipushedt
hel
uggageandwentt
oopen.

Ialmostr
oll
edmyey eswhenIfoundmom on
theDoorwit
haluggageinhand 
Me:
"Andt
hen?
"
Shepushedmeasi
de 
Her
:"
I'
mleav
ingwi
thy
out
oCapeTown"
Ir
aisedmybr
ows 
Her
:"
Exact
lymyr
eact
ionwhenLut
handoasked
met
ocomewi
thy
ou"
Me:
"Lut
hando?
"
Her:
"Yes,
hetel
l
smehehasabusi
ness
pr
oposalf
orme"
Me:
"Andy
ourt
oodumby
obuyhi
sst
ory?
"
Her:
"I
'l
lfuckenfuckyouupfory
ourl
anguage,
I
ai
ntoneofy ourcoll
eague"
Her
:"
Sor
ry"
Myphonebeeped 
"Theubberi
sdownstai
rswait
ingf
ory
ou.
We'
l
l
betaki
ngmyPrivat
ejettoCT"
-
Lut
hando 
Me:
"Lut
hando'
scari
swai
ti
ngf
orusdownst
air
s
Wepushedourl
uggage'
sout
side.
.

TOBECONTI
NUED
Mot
her
'shat
red
[
04/
28,
19:
14]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
 I
nser
t61

'
Att heend,thetearsofsadnesswil
lturnt
othe
tearsofjoy,sor
rowt ohappi
ness,hatredt
o
l
ov e,povert
ytorichnessbutwhatwil
lmothers
hatredturnt
o? '
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
#Kwena

Therearenowordst hatcoulddescri
behow
happyIam atthemoment. .
It
sli
kemybookof
tragedyhasfi
nal
lycomet oahappyending.The
tearshavetur
nedtosmi les.
Thehear tf
ull
of
angerturnedt
othehear tofful
lofjoyandlove
.Fi
nal
lyIdowakeupi
nthemor
ningwi
tha
smil
eonmyf ace.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Iopenedmyey
es,
waki
ngupt
othesmel
lof
Bacon..
Therewasat r
eywi t
hf oodandasmallnot
e
"Hadtorunsomeer randsbefor
etaki
ngyouto
yourtoday
'ssurpri
se,bereadyI'
l
lbebackinan
hourortwo..
/love-
Fana'

Ismi
l
ed.
..

.
.
Myphonerangwhi
leIwasaboutt
ogetoutof
thebedt
ogobrushmyteet
h, i
twasthe
numbermymom call
edusi
ngyest
erday..
Adeepsighescapedmyl
i
psbef
oreIcoul
d
answer
 
"Hel
l
o"
Her
:"
Kwe.
.Kwena 
?" 
Icoul
dhearhowner
vousshewas.
Me:
"Ma.
.Mom?
"
Shesi
ghedheav
il
y 
Her
:"
I-.
."Shesi
ghedoncemor
e 
Her
:"
Iam v
eryhappyt
oheary
ourv
oice"
Ikeptqui
et,i
tsbeenawhil
esincewel
ast
spokenorseeneachot
her,aboutt
enyear
sor
so 
Her
:"
KwenaI.
.Imi
ssy
oumybaby"

Ikeptquietst
il
l,Wor
dsdi
dn'
tcomei
nmi
nd,
theyfai
l
edme.
Her
:"
KwenaIwoul
dli
ket
oseey
ouagai
n.I
wouldli
keyoutomeety ournewsibl
i
ngs,Igave
bir
thtotwobeauti
fult
winboystheyearaf
ter
youhadlef
t.Theyare11now"
Shechuckl
ed 
Me:
"I.
..
I'
m happyf
ory
ou"
Her:"
Kwenayourdadi
sreal
l
ysor
ryf
orhowhe
chasedy
ou-"
Me:
"Canwenott
alkabouthi
m?"
Her
:"
I'
m sor
ry"
*
*Si
l
ence*
**
Her
:"
Tshi
diso(
Myy
oungsi
ster
)ispr
egnant.
Me:
"Oh?
"
Her:
"Yesandwerel
ocatedtoCapeTownfiv
e
year
sback,YourdadwentbacktoSwazi
l
and
.Thepoli
cewereal
loverl
ooki
ngforhi
m, he
r
obbedabank"

Iwi
shedIcoul
dtel
lherIhadt
urnedj
ustl
i
kemy
f
ather:
Iwasaprost
it
ute,Irobbedbankst
o
makealeav
ing.
.ButIcoul
dn'tt
ellher
 
Me:
"It
houghthewoul
dchange"
Her
:"Heneverdi
d,nowhei
sowningthebi
ggest
hot
elinSwazil
andbyt
hebl
oodofpeople"
Me:
"Whydi
dn'
tyoudi
vor
cehi
m?"
Shekeptqui
etf
orawhi
l
e 
Her
:"
Ilov
ehi
m Kwena"
Thatpi
ssedmeof
ftot
hecor
e.Ihat
edadwi
th
passi
on.
Whatki
ndoffat
herkickst
hei
rpr
egnancy
t
eenagedaught
eroutli
keadog?
Hecheatedonmymot her,hasdif
fer
entki
ds
fr
om dif
fer
entwomen.Otherkidsol
derand
other
syoungert
hanus 
Me:
"I
'mi
nCapeTown,
canwemeet?
"
"
Real
l
y?"Icoul
dhearj
oyi
nherv
oice 
Me:
"Yes,
Sendmet
headdr
ess,
I
'l
lcomesee
y
ou"
Her:
"Okay,
IloveyouKwena,
oet
shwar
ehant
le
ngwanaka(Keepwell
)"

Ikeptqui
etforaf
ewmoment
sbef
oreIcoul
d
hungup...
.
.
I
'
mreal
l
ynotsur
eifIwannaseeherorwhat.
.
I'
m sonervousandIdon'
tknowhowwewi ll
reactwhenweseeeachotherbuthopef
ull
yjoy
shallov
ert
akeus..
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Dr
ivi
ngar
oundj
ustt
ocl
earmyheadbutt
otel
l
t
het
rut
hIdon'
tknowwer
eIwasdr
ivi
ngt
o..
.
Myhear
twasheavy,mymotherhast
urnedme
t
othedevi
li
npeopl
eseyes.
.
Iknow, IknowIshoul
dhav
epr
otect
ed
Boit
umel obutmom mademet
urnmyback
againsther.
..
.
.
.
.
Li
fehastakent
hehardestt
urnonmyside,I
wasbeingpuni
shedbutohLordIcoul
dn'
t
handl
ethepuni
shment..

Iwasalonewithnoonetotur
nto,
myworl
d
hastur
nedblackandther
eisnont
ohel
pme
soot
hthepain..
.
.
.
.
Mymi
ndcamebackt
oreal
i
tywhenIhad
noti
cedI
'm par
kedRodney
'spl
ace(
That
o's
fat
her)

.
.
Ibecamener
vousinst
antl
y,t
helastt
imeIsaw
hi
m waswhenThatowasaweekandhe
chasedmeoutofhishousei
nfr
ontofhi
swi f
e..
.
.
Iknockedt
imi
dlyont
hedoor,
myhear
tbeat
fast
er..
"
Coming!!
"Itwashi
m,heanswer
edaf
teraf
ew
moments.
.

ThoughIwasn'tcr
yinganymor
e,butmyey
es
werefarseei
ngandst i
l
ltr
oubl
ed.
.
.
Heopenedt
hedoor,
hewasr
athershockedTo
seeme 
Hi
m:"
Boi
n..
.Boi
neel
o?"
Me:
"I
-I
..
"
Wor
dsf
ail
edme 
Him:
"Mywif
ewil
lbehomeanymi
nut
efr
om
nowbutcomei
n"
Iwalkedi
nsi
de, t
hetrut
hisIneededashoul
der
tol
eanonorr at
hersayadicktori
deonand
Rodneyfl
ashedmymi nd 
Hi
m:"
Arey
ouokay?
"
AsmuchasIt ri
edtotal
korsayany t
hing,I
couldn'
t.Ibegantosob,wi
thgr eatt
eari
ng
soundsthatconvulsedme.Ihidenothi
ng,my
facewasdest or
tedbymycr i
es. .
Myheartwas
i
tching 
Iwascr
yingf
orLut
hando

Iwascr
yingatt
hef
eari
fbei
ngal
one
Iwascr
yingf
ordr
ivi
ngLut
hando'
smot
hert
o
hat
ingme 
.
..
I
nar
ti
cul
atel
yhest
rokedmyf
ace,
hi
sey
esf
il
led
wi
thpi
ty 
Hi
m:"
Shh,
ever
ythi
ngshal
lbewel
l.
."
..
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

Wear r
ivedinCapeTownsaf el
ybutdi
dn'
tdri
ve
towhereBoi t
umel oi
skeptsaf
e..
Ihadtotel
l
Chri
sti
naf i
rstthengoseeBoit
umelo.
.Hopef
ull
y
themissing 
Puzzl
esshal
lbef
oundandcompl
etet
hepuzzl
e
pi
ctur
e..
.
.
.
.
.
.
Wewer eatanear
byCafe,Iwantedtoshare
thenewstoChri
sti
naandShir
leybef
orethey
coul
dmeetBoitumelo.
.
Shi
rl
ey:
"I'
m st
il
lfai
l
ingt
ounder
standwhymom
camealong"
Il
ookedather
 
Me:
"Can'
tyoushuty
ourmout
hforonce?
"
Shekeptqui
et 
Me:
"Thanky
ou"
Il
ookedatBaf
ana 
Me:
"It
houghty
ou'
l
lbebr
ingi
ngKwenaal
ong?
"
Him:"
Shewassti
ll
asl
eepbutwe'
l
lfet
chher
befor
edri
vi
ngther
e"
Chri
ssy:
"Lut
handoyoust
il
lhav
en'
ttol
dmewhy
I
'm al
soinCapeTown"
Me:
"Yourdaught
er,
Boi
tumel
o"
Shi
rl
ey:
"Whatabouther"
Me:
"Ibr
oughty
oual
ongsoy
ouwoul
dmeether
"
Shesatupst
rai
ght
 
Her
:"
Idon'
tunder
stand"
Me:"Chri
sti
nayourdaught
eri
ssaf
ebutIhav
ea
questi
onforyou?"
Shesmi
l
ed,
Icoul
dshej
oyi
nherey
es.
.
"
Yes?
"
Me:
"Ar
eyour
eadyt
omeether
?"
Her:"
Yes..YesLuthando.Ihav
ebeendy
ingt
o
seeher.Iwanttoseehernow"shespokeso
fastmakingShir
leyroll
hereyes 
Me:
"Shedoesn'
tknowanythi
ng,y'
al
lshal
lbe
r
eadytoanswerever
yquesti
onsheask"
Me:
"I
'l
lbedri
vingthenowtoseeheral
one.
I
oweheralotofexpl
anat
ionandapol
ogy"
Theykeptqui
et 
Il
ookedatShi
rl
eyoncemor
e 
Me:"She'
sbeenthroughal otandy
ourst
inki
ng
att
it
udeisthelastthi
ngsheneedssoIbegy ou
totr
eatherwithrespectbecausei
fyoudon'
t,I
won'tmindfucki
ngy ouup"
Shekeptqui
et 
Me:
"Ar
ewecl
ear?
"
Shenodded 
Ist
oodup 
Me:"
Bafanagofet
chKwena,
I'
ll
bebackt
o
f
etchyoualli
nanhour"
Chr
issyal
sost
oodup 
Her
:"
Thanky
ou"
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:
"Nosweat"
Iwal
kedout.
..
•
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Sleeping,
eat
ing,bat
hing,doi
ngyogaand
sayingashor
tsil
entpr
ayerhasbecomemy
everydayr
out
ine..
Iwasget t
ingt
ir
edofbeingl
ockedupinaroom
withnothi
ngtodo.Iwasgett
ingsuf
focat
ed
eventhoughIhadever
ythi
ngIneeded..
.
..
.
..
Ihear
dthedoorunl
ocki
ngandmyhear
tjumped
abit.
Ist
oodfr
om t
hebedandwal
kedt
owar
dst
he
door.
Hemadehi swayin, Hewaslooki
ngsosocut
e,
hismuscl
es,thehaircute,
thesmellal
one
turnedmeon,hisoutfi
twasonpoint..
..

.
..
.
..
.
..
Ourey esmet, t
hat'
swhenIr eal
isedmy
feeli
ngsf orLuthandowerestrongerthanIhad
anticipated. I
nsteadofbeingangryathimforal
l
heputmet hr
oughbeforeIcanet oCapeTownI
didn't, i
nsteadIwasexci t
edtoseehi m..
Ir
anupt
ohi
m andj
ustt
hrewmysel
finhi
s
ar
ms 
"
Whoa,
wat
cht
het
ummy"
Hesai
dinjoyashehuggedmeandthehug
camethemostpassi
onateki
sshehasev
er
giv
enme..
.
NOTEDI
TED

TOBECONTI
NUED
Mot
her
'shat
red 

[
04/
28,
19:
15]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED

 I
nser
t62

'
Youdon'tknowpainuntily
ou'
restar
ingaty
our
sel
fInthemi r
rorwi
thtear
sinyoureyes,
beggi
ngy oursel
ftoholdonandbest r
ong.
That
i
spain'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Ourexci
tementofseei
ngeachot
herl
edt
o
makingl
ove..
.
Aft
ermakinglov
ewecuddl edi
nbedaswe
tal
kedaboutanyt
hingandever
ythi
ng.
..
.
..
.
.
..
Lut
handor
anhi
sfi
nger
sonmybar
etummy
 
Him:
"Ihavebeenmeani
ngt
oasky
ou
somethi
ng?"
It
urnedt
ohim andhi
snowt
urnedsourf
aces
wasscar
ingmeoff..
.
Hesatupst
rai
ght
 
"
Comeher
e"
AsnakedasIwas,Ist
ooduptoal
sosi
tup
st
rai
ghtbuthehel
pedsi
tont
opofhimfaci
ng
hi
m 
"
Eversi
ncewemetwenev ercr
eatedti
met
o
t
alkaboutusorourl
i
vesi
ngeneral"
Hekeptqui
et.
..
Thencont
inued
"
Boi
tumel
oI'
m wor
ri
ed"
Webothmetquiet,Ineededhim expl
ainort
ell
mewhatwasbot heri
nghim becauseIcoul
dtel
l
hehadsomet
hingt otel
lmebutdi dn'
tknowhis
tout
terI
t 
Him:"Whatwoul
dy oudoifyouweretofi
ndout
Rethabi
lei
sn'
tyourbiol
ogi
calmother?"
Ikeptsil
ence,Ireal
l
ydowi shshewasn'
tmy
motherbutthereisnothi
ngIcoul
ddonorsayto
unchangethatsheismymot her.
Hatedoesn'
t
evenbegintodescri
behowIf eel
abouther
.Iam
acreatur
eshamed, destr
oyedandtor
mentedall
becauseofher.
Shemademeasl ave.
She
mademehat eli
fei
tself.
WHY?.Justt
hesake
ofcall
i
ngmyselfherdaught
er?

ForamomentIgotcaughtupinmyown
thought
sti
llIr
eali
sedt
hepai
nIwentt
hroughal
l
becauseofher..

Tear
scr
owdedmyey
es.
Iam t
ooyoungt
ohav
eexper
iencedsuchl
i
fe
chal
l
enges..
.
"
Trustme,
Iwi
sh.
..
Iti
smyev
ery
daywi
sh"
Mycheeksgotwet
 
Hekeptquiet,It
hinkhewant
edmetopourout
myhearttohim andIwasgonnadot
hat
wi
ll
i
nglythoughtdeeppit
ywell
edupi
nhiseyes 
"Al
lmyli
fe,shehasbeenpuni
shingmefort
he
unknown.Shemademylif
ealivi
nghel
l
Luthando,whatki ndofamot
herdotr
eather
owndaught erl
ikedirt?
Shemademehatehate
l
ife..
Withher,thewasnohappinessi
nmylif
e
atall"
Isai
di nhiccups
Hi
m:"Wer
en'
tyour
eal
l
yhappy?
"
Hewi pedmytear
swi
thhist
humbbutitwas
usel
essbecausemyt
earskeptonf
lowi
ng
uncontrol
l
abl
y
Me:"Iwasn't..
.Shehatedmef rom y oungage
.Boineel
owasal waysherf avourite.Toher,I
wasal waysacur se,aburden.Shewoul d
l
iter
allyt
ellmehowshehat esmeandhow
uselessIwast oher .
Everyt
hingIdi dwasn't
enoughf orher..EvenwhenBoi neelowentout
whor i
ngbringi
ngdi ff
erentkidsf r
om mar ri
ed
men, toherthewhor ewasmei nsteadofNeelo
"
Isobbed 
Icont
inued
"Cany oubelieveshegoesaroundtel
l
ingpeopl
e
thatBoineelo'sadopt
edchi
ldisminejustt
o
protectBoineelo?
Hi
m:"I
stheadopt
edchi
l
dreal
l
yBoi
neel
o'
s?
Me:"Yes!!
!Doy oureal
lythinkIwouldgi veaway
myownchi l
d?Luthandot hisi
smyf i
rstchil
d
(point
ingatmyt ummy) .
Mydr eam wast odo
everyt
hingwithnomi stakesinvol
vedj ustt
o
provetoherthatI'
m nof ail
ure..
Luthandowhat
kindofamot herseesherchi l
d'swrongsonl yt
o
good? "
*
*Si
l
ence*
*
Him:"
Nowcanwet al
kabouty ou?Doy oureal
l
y
bel
ievesheisyourbi
ological
mot her?Imean
wit
hev er
ythi
ngsheputy outhrough?"
Ikeptquiet,
honestl
yspeaki ngalothasbeen
tel
li
ngmeshei snot, fr
om Boi neel
o'sandmy
agediff
erence,howshet reatedme, our
i
dentit
ybutIignoreditall
andf orcedmyselft
o
tobeli
evesheismybi ologicalmother..
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"
Him:"
Babepl
ease,
Itwi
l
lhel
ptal
ki
ngt
omey
ou
know"
Me:"Iam t
womont hsoldt
oBoineel
o. It
'snot
possiblet
osharet
hesamemot her.Ilook
col
our ed,Neel
oandMom areblack.SoIdont
bel
ievesheismymot her"
Hi
m:"
Doyouwantmet
oshar
epi
eceofmy
mi
ndwit
hyou?"
Inoddedst
il
li
nhi
ccups
Him:"
Thereisnomot herthatwouldtr
eather
ownchil
dRet habi
l
etreatedy ou.
Babesheisnot
yourmotherandeveryonedoseet hat.
.Nowthe
quest
ioniswhatwill
y oudoifsheisnotyour
mother?"
Me:"I
twi l
lPi
ercehardt
hroughmyheart,Imean
sheraisedmet houghi
twasthehardestand
toughestwaybutshedid.Butwhati
fsheisnot
? "
Ihi
ccupped 
"Idon'
twannabeanorphan.Iwantmychil
d
growupknowinghi
s/hergrandmother"
Him:"
Shhhh..
..
Theni
fyoudofi
ndoutsheisnot
yourmother,
will
youl
ookfory
ourbi
ologi
cal
mother?"
Me:"
Wherewil
lIstar
t?Idon'
tknowhowshe
l
ooksli
keorhername...
"Isi
ghed 
"Whati
fsheisdead?Idon'
twannabemor
e
pai
nedthanIam now!"
Hi
m:"
Wati
fshei
sal
i
veandl
ooki
ngf
ory
ou?
"
Me:
"Thenshemustsear
chdeeperbecauseher
l
ovewil
lunfol
dmenow"

Hekeptqui
et

NO!NONO!
Thi
sdoesn'
tmakesense.Il
ookedt
hroughhi
s
ey
esandaski
nghi
m wasawast
eoft
ime.
.
Me:
"Lut
hando!
!!
 Youdoknowmymot
her?

Iaskedwi t
hfear,
hunger,
exci
tementj
ust
dif
ferentemoti
ons 
Hekeptqui
et 
"
Iwannaseeher"Isai
dqui
etl
y 
•
•
•
#Kwena

Baf anafetchedme. .Iwassolooki

ngforwardto
seei ngthesurpri
sehekeptforme. Iwish
Boitumel owasher etoseehowmyl i
fehas
turnedar ound:Bafanahasproposed,my
mot heri
scomi ngaroundandmostofal lIhav
e
foundl ove...
..
.
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

Ihadj usttol
dBoitumel oever
ythi
ng,bowher
mot herhasbeenl ookingforher,
hermot her
beinginCapeTownf orher,Chri
sti
naandI
beingpar t
nersincri
meandev eryt
hingandshe
seemedhar dtobet akingi
tall
..
.

Wehavebeensil
entformorethananhournow
andIdeci
dedt
oBr eakthesi
l
ence 
"
Boi
tumel
oI'
m scar
ed"
Shesi
ghedwhi
l
epaci
ngal
lar
ound,
but
tnaked 
Her
:"
Luut
her
eisnot
hingt
obescar
edof"
Me:
"Wi
l
lyouf
orgi
veheri
fyousee?
"
Shel
ookedatme 
Her:
"Iam ver
ymuchmat ur
edandold,Idon'
t
knowt her
easonwhysheletRet
habi
leraiseme
,al
lIwantishert
hentherestwi
l
lfol
low.
Hesmi
l
edbef
oreki
ssi
ngme 
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyouokay
?"
Inodded
Him:"
Nowgogetr
eadysowecoul
ddr
ivet
o
yourmom "
Her
:"
No,
let
'
sgo"
Ir
aisedmyey
ebr
ows
Me:
"Buty
ou'
rei
nPJs
Shekeptast
rai
ghtf
ace 
Me:
"Okayokayl
et'
sgo"
Shest
oodupandwewal
kedout.
..
.
•
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina

Isther
eanyperf
ectwayt
opr
aiset
heLor
dfor
all
thathehasdone?
Evenwhent hehear
tisdar
k,f
ull
ofhat
redhe
neverf
orsakeus!!
.
.
Ipacedall
around, Luthandowastaki
nglonger
thanIhadexpected..Iwassonerv
ous, Shi
rl
ey
couldseethat.
Shewal
kedupt
ome
Her:
"AsmuchasIhat
et omeether,
buty
our
ner
vousnessi
sworr
yingmeoff"
Il
ookedather
 
Me:
"I
'l
lokay.
."
Shehel
dbot
hmyhands 
Her
:"
Final
l
yyou'
l
lbet
hehappi
estmom onear
th
"
Ismi
l
ed.
.
.
.
Baf
anawal
kedi
nwi
thhi
sgi
rl
fr
iend
Fana:
"Hei
sn'
tbacky
et?
"
Ishookmyhead
Kwena:
"Babewhatgoi
ngonher
e?"
Fana:
"Babel
et'
swai
tforsomeone,
thenI
'
llt
ell
you".
..
.
.
Luual
sowal
kedi
nwi
thBoi
tumel
o..
.
Myhear
tjumped.
.
Al
lIcoul
dseewast
hey
oungeri
dent
ical
me 
Bot
hherandKwenascr
eamedi
nJoyast
hey
bot
hrantoeachot
her.
.
Shi
rl
eyseemedt
ooshockedt
hansur
pri
sedt
o
seeher
 
Shi
rl
ey:
"BOI
TUMELO?
"
Boi
tumel
o:"
SHI
RLEY?
"
Thenshel
ookedatme 
Her
:"
AndIdon'
thav
etoask"
Webot
hkeptqui
etasshesl
owl
ymadeherway
t
ome

TOBECONTI
NUED
Mot
her
'shat
red  
_
___
___
___
_
[
04/
28,
19:
15]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
I
NSERTFI
NALEP1

 I
nser
t63
'
AllIwantedtodowast obackupbutmyheart
i
sshat t
eredintopieces.Theki
ndofpai
nwhere
youwantt ojustsi
mpl ygotoyourr
oom and
cry
.Lettear
scr youtyoursoul'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
•
#Shi
rl
ey

IrememberwhenIf i
rstsawBoitumeloatthe
ai
rport..
Thoughshehadapr egnancybump, I
couldfeelt
heconnecti
onbetweenus, t
he
spark.Somethi
ngIhaveneverfeltf
oralady.

Sheseemedalotdi
ff
erent,t
oobrokenButhad
asmil
ecover
ingherbrokenhear
t.Icoul
dsee
t
hroughhereyesthatshehasbeenthr
ougha
l
otbutIswearsheseemedt oostr
ongtonotl
et
t
hem dest
royher.
Ever
yti
mewespokeont hecell
phoneIknew
shewasbeaut
if
ulont
heout si
deandcouldtel
l
shewasasmuchbeauti
fulontheinsi
dealso.
..
Dail
yIwasfal
li
ngi
nlovewit
hher,
herbeauty,
senseofhumour,
herper
sonal
i
ty,herv
oice
wasaturnontome

BUTnev
erdidIknowthatIhadfall
eninl
ove
wit
hmyblood,mysist
er,Luthando'
sbaby
mama.
.
..
.
..
.
..
.
.
I
twasr
eal
l
yhar
dtot
akei
tal
li
n

Wehavebeensil
entforawhil
enow, Mom
seemedner
vousandalsoexci
tedtoseeher,
Kwenawasjustovert
hemoon. .
Andi
nBoit
umelo'
sandLuthando'
sey
esIcoul
d
seet
ruel
ovef
oreachotheri
nthei
reyes.
.

If
eltr
eal
l
yjeal
ous,
IthoughtIwoul
dmakeher
mine

"Uh.
..
u..
I-
"Ihav
enev
erbeensooutofwor
ds
everi
nmyl i
fe 
.
..
.
..
.
.
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Wewereallsi
l
ent,andmyhear
tbeat
ingf
ast
,wi
thexci
tementandwi
thf
ear.
..

Welookedverymuchali
kebutwhatshocked
merathert
hansurpr
isi
ngmewasseei ng
Shi
rl
eyhere 
Chr
ist
ina:
"I-
Ihav
ebeendy
ingt
omeety
ou"
Icouldt
ell
from herv
oicet
hatshswasatt
he
vergeofbr
eaking
Shesl
owl
ywal
kedt
owar
dsme

Thiswast hemomentIneverthoughtIwould
experienceinmylif
e,Rethabi
lehasbeenmy
mot her,thoughsheabusedmebot hphysical
ly
andemot i
onall
y,Inev
erthoughtther
ewoul dbe
ot
herwomant
obesai
dshei
smymot
her.
.
.
..
.
.
Shi
rl
eychuckl
edbi
tt
erl
y

Shi
rley:"
Idon'
tunder stand,al
lalongwhenyou
ment i
onedhername, Boit
umelo, y
oumeanther
?..
Isshemysi ster?Luui sshetheBoi
tumel
o
youhav ebeentell
ingmeabout? "

Lut
handonodded 
Shi
rl
ey:
"I.
.I
-"
Shesighedbuthersi
ghsi
ghcamewi
thabi
tt
er
chuckl
eoncemor e
Shel
ookedatt
hewoman 
Her
:"
Ma,
I-"
*
**Ma?
OMG!
!!
shei
smysi
ster?
***
Chr
ist
inat
urnedt
oher
"
Whatisi
tShir
ley?
Can'
tyouj
ustcl
osey
our
f
uckenmouth?"
Shi
rl
eyt
urned 
"
Wow!
!"Shewal
kedout
 
Okayt
hatwasuncal
l
edf
or!
Luthando:
"It
hinkweshoul
dgi
vet
hem some
pri
vacy"
Kwena:
"Yeah"shel
ookedatmewhi
l
esmi
l
ing
"
Babewe'
l
lbeout
side"
Ismi
led,Iwasr
eal
lyhappyseei
ngt
hem but
sameti
melyemoti
onal
 
.
.
Theyal
lwal
kedi
tleav
ing"
mymom"andI.
.

Webot
hkeptqui
et,
itwasanawkwar
dmoment
f
orbot
hofus 
Her
:"
I-
Canwe?"
Iwal
kedt
oherandwesatont
hechai
rs 
Her:
"Boi
tumel
oI..
.H-
"shewastr
ulybreaki
ng
downnotmakingi
teasyformetostaystr
ong.
.

Webot
hlett
het
ear
soutbut
 
meitwasworsebecauseIl
it
eral
l
ybr
okedown
i
nloudsobs..
Shestoodupandcametosi
de
andrubbedmyback..

Allt
hememor iesofmest eali
ng,st
abbi ng
people,prosti
tuti
ng,robbingpeopl
et heirl
iv
es
fl
ashedinmymi ndandknowi ngRethabi l
e
mademedot hem knowingIain'
tnothingtoher
wasliter
all
ybreakingme. ForamomentIhad
for
gottenaboutmypr egnancyandl etmy
emotionrollonout
"For25y
ears,Ithoughtsheismymother.She
hatedme,al
lalongIthoughtinwasMOTHER'S
HATRED! !IthoughtMOTHER'SHATREDwas
theonebr eakingme. Att
imesIwoul dpr ay
thoughIknewi twasuseless,
butstil
lIpr ayed
thattheLor dcantakemebecauseal lIneeded
wast obel ovedbymyownmot her.Igrewup
noknowi ngwhatl oveisandIdon'
tknowhowi t
feel
st obel ovedbymyownmot her..
25y ears
!!25y ear
s" Ispokeinbet
weensobswhi chwer e
becomi ngwor se

Sheknel
tbef
oreme 
Her:
"Iam her
enow,
Yourmot
heri
sher
enow
baby"

Thatal
onecomf
ortme.
..
•
•
•
•
#Ret
habi
l
e

"
CanIt
alkt
oMr
sRet
habi
l
eMokoena?
"
Me:
"Speaki
ng"
Her:
"Mem you'r
espeakingtoBopakiMell
o
,cal
l
ingfrom Arcsol
uti
ons.I'
m cal
l
ingMokoena
f
uneralparl
our'
srent.
Wehav enotrecei
veda
r
entforthepasttwomont hsmem"
Isi
ghed 
Me:"Yeah,I.
.Iknow,Ihadproblemswit
hmy
accountbutIpromiseI
'l
ltr
ansferi
tnow"
Her:
"Thatwoul
dbegreatmem.Ibelieveyou
don'
twanttoseethefuner
alpar
lourbeing
ki
ckedofftheArc"
Me:
"Li
keIsai
d,I
'
llt
ransf
eri
tnow"
Her
:"
Okay,
hav
eagooddaymem"
Ihungup,
Ibal
ancedmyheadonpi
l
low.
Tearsthr
eat
enedt
ost
ream downof
fmy
cheeks.
Whatam Igonnado?
I
'
m goi
ngbankr
upt
.
Thebusi
nessi
sal
sosl
ow.
Boi
neel
oisnowher
etobef
oundt
ohel
pme.
Icannotdoany
thi
ngonmyownbecauseI
'
m
sti
ll
inpai
ns.
WHATAM IGONNADO?
•
•
•

•
#Kwena
IwishIcoul dhav estay
edtospendt i
mewith
Boitumel obutIcouldn'
t,Ihadpr omisedmom
thatI'l
lmeetherandshecal ledthatweshould
meetr ightthen.Iwasnervous, Idon'
tknowifI
want edtomeetherorwhataf tersolong..
Bafanahadborrowedmehi
scarsoIdr
ovet
o
thegiv
enaddress

.
..
Iparkedout
sideasmal
lyetbeaut
if
ulbond
house, t
her
ewereki
dsplayi
ngoutsi
de..
Me:"
BoNana,ahhbaholobat
engkamol
apeng
(
kids,ar
etheel
dersaround)
?"
Oneoft heki
ds:"Ey
a, Mmeot
eng,l
eAusi
Tshidi
leyenaoteng(Yes,
mom i
saround,
and
si
stersist
eral
so)

Iwentt
othemai
ndoorandt
imi
dlyknocked
Mom openedaf
teraf
ewmoment
s 
Icouldseej
oyi
nhereyeswhenshesawme,
shelookedmor
eolderbutst
il
lfr
esh.
.
Shewant
edtohugmebutIcl
ear
edmyt
hroat
andt
hatst
oppedher
 
Her
:"
Comei
n"
Shest
eppedasi
deandIwal
kedi
n.
Thehousebeaut
if
ulandcl
ean,
that
'
smymot
her
fory
ou(Acleanf
reak)
"CanIgety
ousomet
hingt
odr
ink?
Appl
ejui
ce.
I
Knowy oul
o-"
Me:
"Usedt
o.Any
waynot
hanky
ou"
Webot
hkeptqui
et.
.
IthoughtIwoul
dbehappytoseeherbutt
otel
l
thetrut
hIwasn'
tinst
eadIf
oundmyselfangr
y
ather 
Her
:"
Howhav
eyoubeen?
"
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:"
Howdoy
out
hinkIhav
ebeen?
Int
he
st
reet
s?"
Her
:"
Stupi
dquest
ion,
I
'm sor
ry"
Me:"Youdon'
thav
etobe, y
ouarenottheone
thatki
ckedmetothest
reets.
Aloneand
pregnant!
"
Her:
"Babyi
-"
Igav
ehermyhand 
Ist
oodup 
"
Act
ual
l
yitwasami
stakecomi
ngher"
Iwal
kedt
othedoor
 
Her
:"
Kwenapl
ease"
Iopenedt
hedoorbutt
urned 
Me:
"Any
wayIam engagedt
obemar
ri
ed.
"
It
urnedandwalkedtot
hedoor,
itwasa
mist
akecominghere!
TOBECONTI
NUED 
[
04/
28,
19:
16]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
I
NSERTFI
NALEP2

 I
nser
t64

'
Attheend,wonder
sshall
bedone,thebroken
heart
edwil
lbemendedandyetagai
nwe'l
lbe
happyandfor
gett
heter
ri
blepastwehavebeen
thr
ough.
.
DI
STURBI
NGMEMORI
ESWI
LLBEFORGOTTEN
'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
ONEMONTHLATER

#Boi
tumel
o

Iwouldn'
treal
lysayIhavegotahappyending
becauseKwena'sli
feissti
l
lnotmended,butI
shouldsayfi
nall
y,thi
ngsarecomingtoget
her..
.

Weweresti
lli
nCapeTown,
justChr
ist
ina
,KwenaandI.
.
Theboysl
eftt
woweeksback,
theyhadt
ogo
backt
owork.
Shi
rl
eydissapear
edthedaywebothfoundout
wearebloodsist
ers.
Funnythi
ngis,wegotso
cl
osethatIevenhadgrewdeepfeel
i
ngsforher
.
Thi
ngsbet
weenChristi
naandIwereworking
j
ustfi
ne.
Theconnecti
onandmot her-
daughter
bondwasgrowi
ngstrongerdai
l
y..
Sheisat ruedefi
nit
ionofmom , car
esforme,
doesn'tunderest
imateme,li
stenstomy
probl
emsandal lt
hosegoodthingsthat
Rethabil
ef ai
l
edtodoasamot her.
.
..
.
.
Mypr egnancywasal
soperfect:
Thebabyis
okayandheal t
hy,
Chr
issyevenaccompanied
met omygy naeaweekback, Ial
sofoundout
I
'm carry
ingababygi
rl,Si
xmont hs.
..

Iti
struethatt herei
salwaysli
ghtattheendof
everytunnel.IrememberwhenIcr ieddail
y,I
rememberwhenIknel t,shoutedathim onwhy
wouldhet urnhi sbackatmelikethat.I
rememberwhenIbegant ogrowhat r
ed
towardshim. Iwasangr y.
Howdi dIdiff
erfrom
hisotherkids?Di dIwronghimt hatmuch?
Thosewer
emyquest
ionswhenev
erIknel
tand
f
eltt
heur
get
oshoutathi
m.

Toal lthoset hatar egoi ngthrought hedark,

throughbr eakdown, throughhardt antrums
.Not ethis, Godnev erlethischil
dreni nthe
darkf orever, hemayhav eletyoulongerbutI
knowhehadar eason. Noonecancompr ehend
hisway sfortheyar esecret.Hemaynothav e
giveny oulighty esterdayorev entodaybut
eventual l
yhewi llgiveyouf orhenev erlethis
childr
engot hr oughbr eakdownal lalone
.Rememberhi swor dsay s"Holdont ohimt he
l
or dyourf atherf orallthattemporar ytr
oubl ewe
sufferwi l
lbringusat r
emendousandet ernal
glory,muchgr eat erthantrouble

Justhol
donandkeepfai
tht
hatheiswatchi
ng
andsoonhewil
lremov
eheavyburdensonyour
shoul
ders 
.
.
.
.
.
.
"
Youhav
ebeenl
ostt
oodeepi
nthought"
It
urned,
andsmi
l
ed 
Me:
"I
'mj
ustt
ir
ed"
Her
:"
CanIgi
vey
ouamassage?
"
Il
aughed 
Me:"
That'
ssounl
i
key
ouKwena,
whatdoy
ou
want?"
Sheal
solaughed.
Imovedabitf
rom t
hecouch
cr
eati
ngspaceforhert
osi
t 
Me:"
I'
m socr
avi
ngf
ort
hatHennesseyr
ightnow
!"
Her
:"
For
gethav
ingi
t,wher
eismom ?
"
Me:"Shesai
dshehasa"busi
ness"t
otakecar
e
offandmightcomebackver
ylate.
Youknow
howChr i
ssyi
s"
Shekeptqui
et 
Me:"Bafanacal
l
ed,
hewasv
erymuchwor
ri
ed
aboutyou"
Her
:"
Ineededsomeai
r,I
'
llcal
lhi
m"
Me:
"Youdon'
tseem f
ine"
Her
:"
Dadi
scomi
ngbackt
oSout
hAf
ri
ca"
Me:
"I
'm sorryt
ohearthat,hopeful
lyt
hings
mi
ghtwor koutbet
weeny ourfamil
y"
Shesi
ghed 
Her:
"Iwassokeent
of i
xi
ngthi
ngswi t
hmom
butwit
hdaddycomingbackIdon'
tthinkt
hat
wil
lbepossi
ble"
Iwr
appedmyar
m ar
oundherneck 
Me:"Hemighthavechasedy ou,causedy our
miscar
ri
agebutmyf r
iendheissti
llyourf
at her
Kwena.Atsomepoi ntyou'
ll
havet oforgi
veand
l
etgobecausey oucannotholdangeriny ou
for
ever"
Shel
ookedatme 
Her
:"
Whenhav
eyoubecomesomat
ured"
Igav
eherami
ddl
efi
ngerandwebot
hlaughed.
.
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o 
Li
fecansur
pri
singatt
imes 
Fr
om aspoil
tpr
incessdownt
oapr
ost
it
utei
fI
woul
dcall
mysel ft
hat.
Thi
ngshav
efal
l
enapar
tformom andI.
.
Thewomanwhoshotherf orcedtot akeov er
thefuneral par
louranditsupandr unningal li
n
hername. Theprosti
tutesar
enol ongerwor ki
ng
formom . SoIhadt odosomet hi
ngtopr otect
heranditski ndofwor ki
ngforme, t
hat's
prosti
tut
ing.
I
tbr
eaksmet
oseemymot
hersuf
fer
ingso
much, shei
sgoingbankruptandsoonwe'
l
lbe
for
cedtosellourhouset
omov eamuch
small
erandaffordabl
eone.
Thatomovedinwi
thLuthando'
smother
becauseshewant
snothingtodowi
thme..
.
.
IwasatPepbuyi
ngaf
ewclothsf
orThat
o,I
havedeci
dedt
ogoseehert
oday.
Idi
dn'tbuymanythi
ngsatwopairofj
eans,
aT-
shi
rtandapackonpanti
esanddroveto
Tabit
ha'spl
ace.
Iwassonervous..
Iknockedafewti
mesuntil
Luthandoopened
thedoor.Myhear
tbeatf
aster
 
"
Hi.
.Hey.
IsThat
oar
ound?
"Iasked 
Hewassi
l
encef
oraf
ewmoment
s 
Hi
m:"
Kar
mai
sbi
tchr
ight?
"
Me:
"Lut
handopl
ease"
Hi
m:"
Thewr
ongwedot
oot
hercomesbackf
or
us"
Ikeptsi
l
entast
ear
sfl
oodedmyeyes,
itsl
i
ke
heenjoy
edseei
ngmybreakdown 
Hechuckl
ed 
Him:"
Sheisattheair
portwi
thmom aswe
speak,t
heyaregoingtoCapeTown"
Ihandedoutt
hePeppl
ast
ict
ohi
m 
Me:
"Pl
easegi
vehert
hiswhensheget
sback"
Hej
ustl
ookedatitIpl
acedi
tdownandt
urned,
myhear
tbroke.
..
•
•
•
•
#Thabi
tha

That
o:"
Itwi
l
lbemyf
ir
stTi
mei
napl
ane"
Ichuckl
edi
ndi
sbel
i
ef
Me:
"It
houghtKokoal
way
stooky
out
ohert
ri
ps
"
Her:
"No,
theyal
way
slef
tmeatmyf
ri
end'
s
pl
ace"
Il
ookedatherandsmi
l
ed 
Me:"
Dongworr
ybaby,
you'
l
ltr
avel
wit
hmeal
l
ar
oundthewor
ld"
Sheal
sosmi
l
ed.
.

Myphoner
ang,
Ilookedati
twasBanzi
.
Hehasbeencal
l
ingmel
atel
ysay
inghei
s
comi
ngbacktoSout
hAf
ri
ca.
Well
,Ist
il
l l
oveBanzibutt
her
eal
it
yisi
nlove
wi
thsomeoneel senowandIhear
dtheyhave4
ki
dstogethernow.
Hi
m andIhav
ebeenmarri
edf
or25year
stil
lI
f
oundouthehadababywhoi
sabout4years
youngerthant
hetwins.Thenmorekids.Il
oved
him evenwhenInewhewasgangst erand
for
ev erst
oodbyhim someti
meslovealoneis
notenoughtostaywithsomeone.
Me:
"Ihav
etot
aket
hisbaby"
Isai
dtoThatost
andi
ngupandwal
ki
ngabut
farf
rom her
 
Me:
"Banzi
?"
Hi
m:"
MakaBaf
ana"
Ikeptqui
et 
Hi
m:"
Arey
oui
nCapeTownal
ready?
"
Me:
"No,
butIwi
l
lbel
eav
ingOrt
ambonow"
Him:"Okay,AndThabit
hamakesureyout
reat
thatgir
lwithr
espect
.Shei
scarr
yingmy
grandchil
d"
Ir
oll
edmyey
es 
Me:
"Youcoul
dhav
egonet
her
eyour
sel
f!"
Hi
m:"
Iwi
l
lbeboar
dingt
her
etomor
rowat
,17:
30
Ihopey
ou'
rest
il
lbeaut
if
ulandcur
vey
"
Ir
oll
edmyey
esonemor
e 
Me:
"Tenget
il
ewhydi
dyoucal
lme'
'
Hi
m:"Actual
l
yIwoul
dli
keal
lmychi
l
drent
o
meetandIwoul
dalsol
ikey
outomeet
Mal
erato"
Me:
"Andwho'
sthatagai
n?"
Hi
m:"
Mywi
fe"
Ikeptqui
et 
Him:
"Wil
lyoubeabl
etomeether?
Shei
sal
soi
n
CapeTown"
Me:"
Tengeti
l
eI'
m goi
ngt
heret
oapologi
seto
Lut
hando'
swoman, t
obether
eforhernott
o
meetyoursocal
l
edfami
ly"
Hekeptqui
et 
Il
ookedatthescreenthehungup,Ihav
egot
moreimportantt
hingstodothant
obebusy
ent
ert
aini
ngBanzi'sbul
lshi
t..
•
•
•
#Kwena

"Daddywil
lbel
andingtoCapeTownt
omorrow
andhehasorganisedameeti
ngsohesai
dy ou
shouldal
sobethere!"
-
Tshi
di

Ir
eadthemessageoutloudt
hent
hrewmysel
f
onthebedi
nannoyance.
Dadwil
lneverchange, helovesbeing
cont
rol
li
ngtowardsus. Iknowhei sn'
tcall
i
ngt o
apol
ogi
sebuttot el
lmehowIhav emademy
sel
ftobeli
kethis.Iknowhewon' tcongratulat
e
meonmyengagementbutt ounderesti
mat eit.
Ihat
ethatman!
!
Ihat
ehi
m wi
thpassi
on!
!

Notedi
ted 
TOBECONTI
NUED 
[
04/
28,
19:
16]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
I
NSERTFI
NALEP3

 I
nser
t65

'
Fornow, t
hehardshi
psofli
fecanmakey
ou
seem asaweakerperson.
.
Remembery ousurv
ivedstorms,heav
yrai
nfal
l
s
,draughtssowhatmakesy ouwanttogi
veup
wheny ouhavecomesof ar?,
Holdon,hewhoi
sabov
eiscomi
ngt
orescue
you!!
!'
-
Boi
tumel
o
•
•
•
•
#Lut
hando 
Hi
m:"
Toi
l
etr
ies?"
Me:
"Check!
"
Hi
m:"
Sneaker
s?"
Me:
"Check!
"
Him:"
Thenwhatdoyouthi
nkwehavef
orgott
o
packbecausel
ooksl
ikeev
ery
thi
ngweneedis
ri
ghther
e? "
Me:"
Nothi
ng,i
fwefor
gotsomet
hingt
henwe'
l
l
buyi
tinCapeTown"
Hi
m:"
Sur
e,di
dyoucal
lma?
Hasshear
ri
vedy
et
?"
Me:
"Ihav
en'
tcal
l
edhery
etbutIt
hinkshei
s
al
readyt
her
e"

Hepushedt
hel
uggaget
othedoor
 
Hi
m:"Ican'
twaitt
omakel
ovet
omywoman
whenIgetther
e"
Il
ookedathi
m andbur
sti
nlaught
er,
hegav
e
meadeadstare
Me:
"Yi
ni(
What
)?Inev
ert
houghtI
'
dseey
ouso
muchi
nlove.
"
Hi
m:"
Wel
l
,Kwenamademe"
Ial
sopushedthel
uggaget
hencheckedmy
wri
stwatch 
Me:
"Weshoul
dgetgoi
ng"
Heal
sol
ookedathi
swat
ch
Hi
m:"
Yeah"
Il
ookedathi
m 
Me:
"Youmi
ssKwenabuti
t'
sli
key
ou'
renot
l
ooki
ngf
orwar
dtogoi
ngt
oCapeTown"
Him:
"Iam ,
I
'mj
ustnotl
ooki
ngf
orwar
dtoseei
ng
Dad"
Ikeptqui
et 
Him:
"Hecanbesocont r
oll
ingatti
mes.
..
You
knowthatwit
hhi m not
hingwedoormakeis
good.Ngyam zonda(Ihatehim)"
Me:
"Youdon'
tmeant
hat
"
Him:"
WellIdo.Thatmanisnothingbutj
usta
pi
eceofshit.
Hel ef
tmom, usbutnowhei s
demandingtoseeus.I
'm evenfail
i
ngto
under
standwhymom agr eedtothisbul
l
shit!
"
Ir
aisedmyey
ebr
ow 
Me:"Baf
anacanwejustl
eavebef
orey
ousay
t
hingsyoudon'
thav
et osay"
Hekeptqui
et 
Ipushedt
heluggagesout
sidel
eav
inghi
mto
coolhi
shear
t..
.
Ialsodohatemyf ather,Ihatehi
mf or
everyt
hinghehasdonet omom , thebetray
als,
putti
ngmymot her'sli
feindangerbecauseof
hisgangster
ism andallbutatti
mesIjustforce
mysel ftol
etgooft hepastandmov eon. .
.
•
•
•
•
#Thabi
tha

Wel andinCapeTownatexactl
y19:45,Idi
dn't
bookar oom f
orusinst
eadtheuberdroveus
str
aighttoBoi
tumel
o'shot
el.
Iwassoner v
ous,Iam notatallgoodat
apol
ogisi
ng.Worstofal
listhatIhavet
oalso
apol
ogisetoBaf
ana'sgi
rlf
ri
endwhohappenst o
bether
e...
Isi
ghedast
heuberdr
oppedus.
.
"
Arey
ouner
vous?
"
Il
ookedatherandnodded
Shesmi
l
ed 
Her:
'
'AuntBoitumel
oisnotasbadasy outhi
nk
sheis.Shedoesn'
thol
dgr udges..
.Asl
ongas
youwil
l showhowsorryyouar et
hentr
ustme
youwil
l seehowAngelheartedsheis"
Ismi
l
edf
aint
ly 
Me:
"Yourmi
ndi
sol
dert
hany
ourage"
Shel
aughedal
i
ttl
e 
Her:
"Boineel
otreatedmethesamewaykoko
tr
eat
edBoi tumelo,sobei
ngalonet
aughtme
howt obemat uredatanear
lyage"
Ismil
edwhil
ewalki
ngtowar
dsroom 134..
Iti
s
thei
rhot
elr
oom number,
Lut
handogaveitto
me. .
Il
etThat
odot
heknocki
ngandi
ndeed
Boi
tumel
oopenedt
hedoor.
.
HerandThat
othr
ewt hemsel
vesineachother
's
ar
msr i
ghti
nexci
tementBoit
u:"
That
o!!
!!"
That
o:"
OhmyGodBoi
tumel
olookaty
ou!
"
Shel
aughed 
Boi
tu:
"BabeIt
houghtI
'
dnev
erseey
ouagai
n..
."
Sadnesscr
owdedherey
es 
That
o:"
Youknowt
hat
'snotpossi
ble"
Theyhuggedoncemor
e 
Boi
tu:
"Ar
ghwher
eismyr
espectat,
comei
n"
Wewalkedi
nsi
deandshecl
osedt
hedoor
behi
nd 
Boi
tumel
olookedatme 
Her
:"
CanIgety
ouany
thi
ngt
odr
ink?
"
Me:
"Yes,
wat
er"
It
henl
ookedatThat
o
"
Whydon'
tyougoandgetmewat
erwhi
l
eIt
alk
t
oyouraunt
y?"
Shest
oodup 
Isatont
hecouchandsi
ghed 
Me:
"Idon'
tknowwher
etobegi
n"
Shekeptqui
et 
"Youknow, Rethabi
lemademehateyouforthe
unknown. Shemademet hi
nkyouarethebl
ack
sheep.Shemademehat eyouandl
ove
Boineel
omuch. .shesai
dbadthi
ngsaboutyou
andmademeseey ouasacheapwh-..
"I
stoppedtalking.

"
Buti
tnotanexcuse,
Iam sor
ryf
orbel
i
evi
ngal
l
t
heli
esshesai
daboutyou"
Shel
ookedatmeandsmi
l
edf
aint
ly 
Her:
"Ihav
ebeenwai
ti
ngfort
hismoment,Ihav
e
beenwaiti
ngf
ort
hedayYouputyourpr
ide
asi
deandaskmewhathappenedbut
unfort
unatelyy
oucamewhi leiti
stool
ate.Iam
notangry,Ihaveli
vedal
lmyl i
fewit
hangerbut
nowInol ongerhaveitwi
thi
nmebecauset his
personinhere(poi
nti
ngherbump)doesn'
tneed
that"
Ihel
dherhand 
Me:"IknowIshouldhav
eactedasamot her,I
shouldhaveprot
ectedyouagai
nstRet
habil
e"
Her
:"
Itwoul
dn'
tbepossibl
e,t
hepersonIhad
t
houghtI
smymot hercoul
dn'
tpr
otectme...
."
"
Iknow,
Boi
tumel
oI'
m sor
rybaby
"
Icoul
dseeherey
esshi
nni
ngwi
tht
ear
s 
Her:
"Il
ongforgav
ey ou,
Ifor
gaveyouf
rom t
he
dayyoucall
edmet hebl
acksheepoft
hefamil
y,
Ifor
gaveyoulongago"
Me:"
Doy ouwannaknowwhati
sinmyt
hought
r
ightnow?"
Shenodded
"Thathowcouldn'tIseethiswomanfrom a
whileago?Sotruet obemyson'swife.With
pureheartofgold.RightnowIknowyouar e
perfectf
ormysonandIhat emysel
ffornot
beingabletoseethatallalong"
Shel
aughedwi
tht
ear
s 
Me:
"Comeher
e?"
Shegotcl
oserWehugged.
..
•
•
•
•
#Kwena

Iwasatanearbyspor
tsbardr
inki
ngHennessey
whenChri
sti
nacamemyway  
Her
:"
AndIt
hinky
ou'
vehadenough"
Il
ookedatherandl
aughed 
Me:
"Butt
hisi
smysecondgl
assmos"
Shechuckl
ed 
Her
:"
CanIj
oin?"
Me:
"Sur
e"
Shesatdown 
Her:
"Sonowthaty
ouareher
ewhoi
swi
thmy
daught
eratt
hehotel
?"
Me:
"Shei
sal
one,
Ilef
thersl
eepi
ng"
Her
:"
Whati
fshegoesi
nlaboural
lal
one?
"
Me:"
Chri
sti
nashei
sonlysi
xmont
hs!
Andwe
ar
einthesamebui
ldi
ng!!
"
Shet
ookmygl
assandgul
pedi
t 
Her
:"
Soy
oucant
alkt
ome,
whateat
ingy
ouup
?"
Me:
"Not
hing.
."
Shel
ookedatme 
Me:"
Arghokayt
hen.
..
Mydadi
scomi
ngbackt
o
Sout
hAfri
ca"
Her
:"
Aren'
tyousupposedbehappyaboutt
hat
?"
Me:"
No!!Thatmani
sat ruedef
ini
ti
onofpure
evi
l,howcanIbehappywhenIknowt hathei
s
onl
ycomingbacktohurtmymot her?
"
Her
:"
Idon'
tunder
stand"
Me:"Chr
ist
inathatmanisj
ustsomethi
ngelse,
heisacheater,amanipul
ator
,thedev
ilhi
m sel
f
..
"
Her
:"
O-k-
a-y
"
Me:"
Iwi
shthepol
icecoul
dfindhi
m andar
rest
hi
m sohecoul
drotinhel
l!
!!
"
Her
:"
Youdon'
thav
etosayt
hat
.Tel
lme,
wher
e
washeal
lal
ong?"
Me:"Heisagangster.Thepol
icewer
elooki
ng
forhi
m unti
lhedecidedtorunbackt
o
Swaz i
l
and.Nowhei scomingbackandis
demandi
ngt
oseeme.
Thatmani
s-"
Her
:"
Whoahol
ditr
ightt
her
e"
Ikeptqui
et 
Her
:"
Yourf
atheri
sfr
om Swazi
l
and?"
Me:
"Yes"
Shekeptqui
et 
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina

(
Cont
inuat
ionofconv
ersat
ion)

Idi
dn'
treal
l
yunder
stand.
.
Wasi
tacoi
nci
denceorwhat?
Lastt
imeIchecked,
Banzi
ranbackt
o
Swazil
andbecauseofr
obbi
ngabankand
murderi
ngabout6peopl
ethr
ought
hat..
Buthei
sLut
hando'
sfat
her!
!
Adef ini
ti
onofBanzi:HeisaMonst er,animal
heartedbastur
d..
Thabithadiv
orcedhim
becauseofnotkeepinghismanhoodi nsidehi
s
tr
ouser s.Hewasabusivetowardsher.But
couldhebet hemant hatKwenaistal
kingabout
?
Me:
"So.
..
yourf
ather,
didhemar
ryy
ourmom ?
"
Her:
"Iheardt
heygotMar
ri
edt
woy
ear
saf
teri
hadlefthome 
Me:"
Wait,
Banzi
,Banzi
Tenget
il
e..
Hei
syour
f
ather?
"
Shel
ookedatmesur
pri
sed 
Her
:"
Ye.
..
Yesdoy
ouknowhi
m"
Ihi
tthet
abl
ever
yhar
d 
"
Shi
t!
!!
!"
Shel
ookedatme 
Her
:"
Chr
issyar
eyouokay?
"
Me:
"KWENAAREYOUSTUPI
DORWHAT?
"
Shel
ookedatmedumbf
ounded
Me:
"DOYOUEVERFINDI
NFORMATIONABOUT
APERSONBEFOREDATI
NGHIM?"
Ishout
ed 
Her
:"
Wh.
.Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout"
Ist
oodup 
Me:"I.
.Iseri
ousl
ydon'
tknowwhatyougavegot
your
sel
fi nt
oanditsal
readyt
ool
atebutbaby
gohome"
Iwal
kedawayaf
tersay
ingt
his 
DearGod,
leti
tnotbethi
s!!Webothknowhow
t
hiski
dswil
lbebrokenaf
terfi
ndi
ngoutabouti
t
!!
!!
TOBECONTI
NUED
Mot
her
'shat
red

[
04/
28,
19:
18]Ron:
INSERTFI
NALEP4

 I
nser
t66

'
Ithurt
stohol di
nhopet hatthi
ngsmightfi
nall
y
getbacktogetherandtherewil
lbel
ightbutit
tur
nsouty ourli
fewil
lneverbeasbli
ssfulas
youthoughtitwil
lbe.
..
.'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Thabi
tha:
"Let'
s 
tryagai
nin
thr
ee.
.two.
.one .
.Hi
t!
!!
!"
Me:
"Ahhhh"
Her
:"
Good.
.l
et'
str
yonemor
eti
me"
It
ri
edst
andi
ngupbuti
twashar
d 
Shel
aughed 
Me:
"I
'mt
ir
ed"
Her:"
Youshoulddothisdai
ly,y
oucannotjust
sitar
ound..You'
ll
maket hebabyLazywhenit'
s
yourti
metogi v
ebirt
h"
Me:
"ButI
'
llpushhar
der"
Shel
aughedgi
vi
ngmebot
tl
edwat
er 
Her
:"
Andy
oushoul
dn'
tdr
inkcol
dwat
er"
Me:
"Somanyr
ules?
"
Shehel
pedmest
andupandsi
tont
hecouch.
.
Her
:"
It
'spr
egnancymydear"

*
**Si
l
ence*
*
Me:
"Wher
eisThat
o?"
Her
:"
Probabl
yswi
mming,Ihear
dheradmi
ri
ng
t
hehotel
'sswi
mmingpool"
Ichuckl
ed 
Me:
"Ial
sodi
d"
Her
:"
Letmegomakey
ousomet
hingt
oeat,
you
mustbehungr
y"
Me:
"Al
ot"
Shestood,Chr
isti
namadeherwayIn,she
seemedshockedrathert
hansur
pri
sedtosee
Luthando'
smotherhere 
Chr
issy
:"Thabi
tha?"
Thabi
tha:
"Chr
issy
"
Shel
ookedatme 
Mom:
"Babyar
eyouokay?
"
Ismi
l
ed
Me:
"Yeah,
whynot?
"
Mom:"Justaski
ngtomakesur
e"shet
hen
l
ookedatThabitha 
Mom:
"Whendi
dyouar
ri
ve?
"
Thabi
tha:
"Af
ewhour
sback"
Mom:"
Oh,It
houghti
tst
heboy
sthatar
e
comi
ng"
Thabi
tha:
"They
'l
lbel
andi
ngi
nanhourorl
ess"
Mom l
ookedatme 
Mom:
"BabycanIt
alkt
oThabi
tha?
Alone"
It
ookmycel
l
phoneont
hecof
feet
abl
e 
Me:
"AndI
'
llbei
nthebedr
oom i
fyouneedme"
Isai
dwal
ki
ngout.
..
Honest
ly,
I'
mtryingtounder
standChr
ist
inabut
shei
sabitdi
ff
icultt
obeunderstood.
.
Oneminut
esheissmi
l
ingt
hent
henextmi
nut
e
shei
sseri
ous.
.
Well,Ial
sodon' tunderstandherl if
easwel l
.Shehasbeeni npr isonformor et han10y ears
butsti
ll,herbusinessesar estil
lupandr unning
andwhatsur pri
sesmemor ei sthatherand
Luthandohav ebeencl osef oryearsbutsti
ll
cannottellhowtheirrelat
ionshipislike.
..
Idi
dn'
texactl
ywalkt
othebedr
oom ,
cur
iosi
ty
coul
dn'
tletme..
.
•
•
•
•
•
#Thabi
tha
Chr
ist
inacanbei
nti
midat
ingatti
mesandr i
ght
nowshehadnosmileonherfaceshowingshe
hat
esseeingmenextt
oherdaughter.
.
Iti
sunderstandabl
e, 
Iemot i
onall
yabusedher
daught
erbutInev erabusedherknowingshe
wasav i
ctimi ni
tall
..
NowIwentt oCapeTown
asawoman, amotherwhocar esforherchi
ld
andiswil
li
ngt oaskforforgi
venessforallt
he
wrongsIhav edonetoBoitumelo 
"Chri
ssy..
I..
Icameheretoapol
ogiset
oher"I
saidsoft
lybutshej
ustkeptqui
etandl
ookedat
me 
Me:"Chri
ssyIswear,
all
Idi
dwasbecauseof
Ret
habile,shemademeseeBoi
tumel
oasa
badperson"
Her
:"
Iknow"
Exci
tementr
eachedmyhear
tknowingshe
won'
tharm me,tr
ustmeshecoul
dandshe
woul
d 
Me:
"Real
l
y?"
Shekeptqui
etandst
art
edpaci
ngar
ound 
Her
:"
Doy
ouknowwhaty
ouhav
edone?
"
Il
ookedatheri
nabl
ankexpr
essi
on 
Her
:"
Wheni
sBanzi
comi
ngt
oCapeTown?
"
Me:
"Toni
ghtort
omor
rowwhyar
eyouaski
ng?
"
Shesi
ghedbutcl
osedi
twi
thanev
ilchuckl
e
Me:
"Chr
ist
inawhati
sit?
"
Shewal
kedupt
ome 
Her:"
Whydidyoudivorcehim?Wasitbecause
hewasamanwhor et obekeptasahusbandor
werey out
heprobl
em ? Di
dn'
tyousati
sfyhim
forhi
mt orunt
ootherwoment ogi
vehim ki
ds
? "
Ist
oodupandf
acedher,
shewasupset
ti
ng
me 
Me:"
Chr
ist
inaDONTYOUDARETALKTOME
LI
KETHAT!"Isai
dpoi
nti
ngaf
ingerather
 
Sheal
sost
oodr
ighti
nfr
ontofme 
Her :
"Orwhat? OrwhatThabit
ha?Youwereout
therepursingyourdr
eamsandbusyr unni
ng
afterki
dsy oungenoughtobeBafana'
sfri
ends
forgett
ingBanziwasathomewai t
ingforyout
o
behi swife!!
Lookatwhatyouguy
shav edone
now! !!
"
Ikeptqui
et,
Iwasget
ti
ngl
ostmor
ethanIwas
now 
Me:
"Whatexact
lydoy
ouwannat
ell
me?
"
"
SAYI
TCHRI
STI
NA!
!"
Shewal
kedver
ycl
oset
omecl
osi
ngt
hegap
bet
weenus 
Her:
Kwenawasr ai
sedthesamewayBoitumel
o
wasrai
sedandIwon'tlety
outakeher
happi
nessawayfrom her.
Iam her
etobethei
r
l
onglosthappi
nessnowandnodogcant ake
t
hatawayf
rom her!
!
Thechil
dhasf inal
lyfoundhappinessandnow
youandBanzi decidedtogetbackt o
compli
cateherl i
fe!!
!!IWANTYOUTOLI STEN
TOMEANDLI STENTOMEVERYCAREFULLY,
TELLYOURHUSBAND. .
..
.EXHUSBANDOR
WHATEVERHEI STOYOUTHATHEMAYBE
KASICRIMINALORWHATEVERBUTIAM
CHRISTINAANDNOTHI NGSCARESMESOLET
ISEEEVENASI NGLETEARONKWENA' S
CHEEK, I'
LLKILLTHEBOTHOFYOUWI THNO
HESITATION!!
!"
myhear tbeatfast
er,whatwasshetal
ki
ng
about..
Sheat t
emptedt owal
kpastmebutI
qui
cklyheldherarm, Icoul
dn'
tl
etherl
eaveme
wit
haquest ionmar k 
Me:
"OkayChr
issyl
et'
scomedown?
What
's
wr
ong? "
Shelookedatme"ncncncncnc"
shesai
d
shaki
ngherhead 
Her
:"
Canyouseewhatt
hepar
ent
shav
edonet
o
t
hei
rkids?
"
Ikeptqui
etwai
ti
ngf
orhert
oexpl
ain 
Her:
"Banzii
scomi ngback, Kwenamustbe
exci
tedthatherfatheri
scomi ngbacktoSA,
thet
winsmustbeexci t
edt ot
hatthei
rfat
heri
s
comingbackt oo!
Whatki ndofparent
sareyou
Maraheh? '
Ikeptqui
et,
Ifel
tal
umponmyt
hroat.
..
Icouldntbr
eathpr
operl
y..
Isatont
hecouch
tr
yingtocalm mysel
fdown..

Whatam Igonnat
ell
Baf
ana?

IrememberwhenIf
ir
stsawKwena,
Ihat
edher
fr
om dayone.
.
Irememberwhenshesplashedwaterovermy
face,Icoul
dseeshehadBanzi'
sfeatur
esand
hi
satti
tudebutIneverhadi
tinmi
ndt
hatshe
coul
dbehisdaughter!!

Buthowcome? Kwenaknewt hatherfatheri

sa
Tenget
il
eandshealsoknewt hatBafanaisalso
aTengeti
lebutdi
dn'
tthatski
phermi nd?
Thi
sisnotmaki
nganysense!
!!
..
•
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Mom andThabi
tha'
sconver
sati
onl
eftme
cov
eri
ngmymout hinshock!!
I
fiti
str
ue,myf r
iendwil
lbrokenandIdon't
wannaseehersuff
eri
ngthanwewer elastt
ime
..
Isl
owlywal
kedtothebedroom sti
llshocked,
whatwil
lmyfr
ienddo?Whenwehav ethought
ourl
iv
esarefi
nall
ycomingtogetherthenthis?

Il
ookedup 
"
Godwhathav
ewedonet
odeser
vet
his?
"
•
•
•
•
•
#Baf
ana

Me:
"Taket
hebagst
othehot
elandI
'
llmeety
ou
t
her
eshort
ly"
Luu:"
Butwej
ustl
andedher
e,wher
ear
eyou
going?"
Me:"
Ijustmywoman'schecki
nonFacebook,
I
knowherlocat
ion"
Luu:
"Hai
yKwenabewi
tchedy
ouf
orr
eal
"
Ichuckl
edget
ti
ngi
ntheuber

.
.
Thedr
iverdr
ovemet
owher
eKwenawas.
.

Itwast
hel
ongestdr
iveev
er,
Ijustneededt
o
seemywoman..
I
tdroppedmest r
aightt
hereandi
twasn'
thar
d
t
olookforherandalsofi
ndher..
Excit
ementki ckedi
ssoonaswesaweach
other.Fi
rstthingwedidwastothr
owourselv
es
i
neachot hersarmsandpassi
onatel
yki
ssed..
.
OHGOD,
ILOVETHI
SWOMAN
[
04/
28,
19:
20]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
I
NSERTFI
NALEP5

 I
nser
t67

'
Doy ouknowwhati
smostpai
nful
about
t
ragedy?
Iti
sthatt
hingsgetbr
oken,t
oobr
okent
hatt
hey
cannotbemendedagain..
'
-
Kwena 
•
•
•
•
#Baf
ana
Shehel
dont i
ghttomyhead, It
hinkshewas
aboutt
ocome. .
.Themoresheheldonwasthe
moreIsweptmyt onguei
nsi
deherandkepti
t
goi
nguptoherclit
 
"
Fanapl
easedon'
tdot
hat!
"
Ichuckl
edgoingi
nandoutofherusi
ngmy
tonguethenbi
tehercl
i
t..
.
Shesl i
ght l
ymov edgotupbutIpul ledherdown
anddi ditagai nbutthi
stimear oundIsweptmy
tonguef rom heranusupt oherwomanhood. I
startedeat ingheroutoncemor et i
llshe
reachedheror ganism t
henwentuphert ummy
traci
ngmyt onguehereandt herewi t
hmy
handshol dingherbreaststogether,hereyes
wer eclosedandIcoul dseeshewasl osti
na
wor l
dofpl easur
e. .
Ist
oppedwhi l
eIwasf ull
yon
topofher  
Me:
"Imi
ssedy
ou.
."
Shesmi
l
ed,
herey
eswer
esol
azy
 
Her
:"
Imi
ssedy
out
oo"
Me:
"Let
'
sgoshower"
Her
:"
Pickmeup,
I'
m sot
ir
ed"
Il
aughed 
Me:
"Butwej
usthadt
hreer
oundsonl
y"
Her
:"
Please.
..
"
Istoodupandpickedherbri
dalst
ylewal
ki
ngto
theensui
tebat
hroom thenpl
acedherdown 
Her:
"Ihavebeenmeani
ngt
otal
ktoy
ouabout
something"
Me:
"Soundsser
ious"
Her
:"
Iti
s..
"
Shesatont
hetoi
l
etsi
tandIl
eanedmybackon
gl
assshower
 
Her
:"
I'
m act
ual
l
yfi
xi
ngt
hingswi
thmyf
ami
l
y"
Me:"That
's.
.uhm t
hat
'sgr
eatbutar
en'
tyou
supposedtobehappy?"
Shesi
ghed,
asi
ghofdi
str
ess 
"
Dadwi
l
lbear
ound.
..
"
Shest
oodup 
"Ihat
ethatmanwit
hpassi
on,
hei
sat
rue
Tengeti
l
elikey
ouare"
Ial
sochuckled, Kwenaoncetoldmeabouther
fat
heralsobeingaTenget i
l
ebutwenev erwent
muchi ndet
ailaboutit.
Itwastheti
mewhen
shewast el
li
ngmehowherpar entski
ckedher
out..
Shedidn'
twannat alkmuchaboutitso
knowinghowKwenacanbeatt i
mesIdidn'
t
wannaaskmor e..
.
Me:
"Iguessal
ltheTenget
il
esar
ethesame.
"
Shekeptqui
et 
Me:"Butbabey ouhav eletgooft hepast.
.Look
atBoitumeloforinstance, youandhergrewup
wit
hnoonet ocar eforyoubutshef orgav
eher
motherregardlessoft hepainshehasbeen
thr
ough, y
oucanal sodot hatbabe..
"
Shekeptqui
et 
Iwentt
oherandknel
t 
Me:
"BabeIwannamarr
yy ou,Iwannahaveki
ds
wi
thyouandgrowoldt
ogetherbutIthi
nkwe
wi
ll
needblessi
ngsf
rom ourparent
s"
Shesmi
l
ed
Her
:"
Ilov
eyouBaf
ana"
Ial
sosmi
l
ed 
Me:
"Il
ovey
ouKwena"
Weki
ssedbutIcuti
tshor
tthi
nki
ngofmydad 
Me:
"AndIal
sohav
enewsf
ory
ou"
Shel
ookedatme 
Me:"MydadiscomingbacktoSAt odaysohe
cal
ledafamil
ymeeting,apparentl
yhewantsus
toknowhis"newl
yfound"fami l
y..
Iam not
l
ookingfor
wardtothemeetingbutIwouldli
ke
youtomeethim"
Shekeptqui
et 
Her
:"
Wheni
sthemeet
ing?
"
Me:
"Toni
ght"
Shekeptqui
et,
mor
eli
ket
hinki
ng 
Her
:"
I.
..
I-
"
Shekeptqui
et 
Me:
"Ar
eyouokay?
"
Shest
oodup 
Her
:"
Ihav
etogo"
Shesai
dwal
ki
ngout
 
Me:
"Kwe-
Kwena!
"
Shei
gnor
edme 
Me:
"Kwena?
"
Ihear
dthehot
elr
oom doorshut
ti
ng

Okay
!!
Thatwaswei
rd!
!
•
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Kwena'
sphonekeptr
ingingst
rai
ghtt
o
voi
cemai
l,shewasstressi
ngmeout!!
Ifoundthi
sabitweir
d, howcanKwenaand
Bafanadateeachnottel
li
ngeachi
thrabout
thei
rparent
s?
Kwenaknewherf
atheri
saTenget
il
e, shealso
knewthetwi
nsar
eTengeti
l
e,di
dn'
tthatcross
hermi
nd?
Chr
ist
inawal
kedinwhileIwasst
il
ltr
yingto
makemyselfunder
standthi
swholesituat
ion 
Her
:"
Arey
ouokay?
"
Il
ookedather
 
"
Uh.
.Uh?
"
Shesatont
hebed 
Her:
"What
swr
ong?
"
Me:
"No-
Not
hing"
Her
:"
Okay,
Lut
handoi
sint
hesi
tt
ingr
oom"
Iwassupposedt obeexcitedt
hatmymanhas
madei tsafel
ytoCapeTownbutIwasn't,
Iwas
toodistur
bedbyChrissyandThabi
tha'
s
conversati
on 
Her
:"
Boi
tumel
oar
eyousur
eyou'
reokay?
"
Me:
"Yeah.
.Letmegot
ohi
m"
Iwalkedout,hewassi tt
ingwit
hhi
smom on
thecouch..Hestoodupassoonashesawme
approachi
ngandki ssedmytunmybef
ore
passionat
elyki
ssingmyl i
ps 
"
Respectt
heel
ders!
"Hi
smot
hersai
dpl
ayf
ull
y
maki
ngusstopandl
augh

Luu:
"OhGodImi
ssedy
ou"
Me:
"Imi
ssedy
ou"
Hel
ookedathi
smom 
Luu:
"CanIst
eal
herf
oraf
ewhour
s?"
Chr
issymadeherwayi
n 
Her
:"
No"
Lut
handot
urnedt
oher
 
Luu:
"Gogetr
eady"
Me:
"I
'mr
eady"
Il
ookedatChr
issy
Me:
"Macani
-"
Shechuckl
ed 
Her
:"YouknowIwouldn'
tsaynot
ohim,
Lut
handobringmychil
dbacksaf
ely"
Hi
m:"
Uyat
imos"
Wel
aughed 
Hehel
dmehandandwewal
kedout
 
Hi
m:"
Ihav
easur
pri
sef
ory
ou"
Me:
"Cantwai
ttoseei
t"
Hi
m:"
Thi
sway"
.
..
•
•
•
•
#Boi
neel
o

Iwal
kedi
nsi
det
hehouse,
itwasqui
et.
Me:
"Mom?
"
*
**Si
l
ence*
*
Me:
"Mom?
"
Sil
encest
il
l,Iwalkedupstai
rst
olookforherin
herbedr
oom butshewasnowher etobef ound
..
Igotscar
ed, whatifsomethi
nghappenedto
her?
Iwalkedthebal
cony,sheasleeponher
wheelchai
rbutbesi
desherwasabot t
leof
whiskyandabottl
eofpil
ls 
Me:
"Nonono.
.Whathav
eyoudone"
If
eltherpul
sel
uckl
yitst
il
lact
ivebutbutf
aint
ly 
Iqui
ckl
ypushedherwheel
chai
rout.
..
•
•
•
•
#Kwena

Af
terMyconver
sat
ionwithBaf
anaIdr
ov e
st
rai
ghthome,l
uckil
ythegat
ewasn'
tlocked.
.
Idi
dn'
tev
enknock,
Ijustwel
comedmysel
fin 
"
Mal
erat
o!!
!"
Isai
dfuri
ouslywal
kingi
n,andTshi
diappear
ed
fr
om thesi
tt
ingroom 
Her
:"
Kwena,
keeng(
Kwenawhat
'
swr
ong)
?"
Me:
"OkaeMalerat
o? Kebat
layena!
(Wher
eis
Mal
erat
o?I'
ml ooki
ngforher)
"
Mom wal
kedi
n
Mom:"Kwenawhyoi
ral
erat
a(Whyar
eyou
shout
ing)
?"
Il
ookedatTshi
di 
Her
:"
I'
ll
gobuyai
rt
ime"
Shewal
kedout
 
Ij
ustsatdown,Ihadal
umponmyt hr
oatandI
coul
dn'
tcontr
olmyemoti
onsatal
lsoIj
ustl
eti
t
al
lout 
Shecamemyway
 
Her:
"Kwenakeengngwanaka.(
Kwenawhat
'
s
wrongmychil
d?"
Iwentdownonmyknees,
thet
ear
swe
uncont
rol
l
abl
esower
etheel
oudsobs.
.

Evenatwoy
earol
dcant
ell
thatt
het
winsar
e
Banzi
'
s.
Doy out
hinki
tdidn'
tcr
ossmymi ndt
hatI
shouldf
indoutwhythetwi
nssharet
hesame
surnametomyfather? 
Wel
l
,itdi
d.
Ij
ustcoul
dn'
ti
nvest
igat
eit.
If
orgotaboutmyfat
herthemomenthechased
meaway. Igr
ewhatr
edforhimthemomentI
miscar
ri
ed, f
ormeInolongerhav
eafat
her!!
Me:
"Am Icur
sedorwhat?
"
Her
:"
Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?"
It
ri
edtoconemyselfdown,
IknowIam
st
rongert
hant
his 
Ichuckl
edbi
tt
erl
y,st
il
li
ntear
s 
Me:
"Doy
ouknowIam engagedt
oBanzi
'
schi
l
d
?
"
I
twasnouset
obeatar
oundt
hebush 
Her
:"
Arey
out
alki
ngabouty
ourf
ather?
"
Me:"
Heisnotmyfather!
!Doyouknowwhathe
hasdone?Hewantsmet omeethisfat
herwho
i
scomingtoCapeTownf rom Swazi
l
andtoni
ght
!!
"
Hermout
hfor
medasmal
lo
Her
:"
Kwena.
.."
Me:
"NoMaler
ato!
!Count
 meoutony
our
meet
ing!
!"
Ist
oodupandwal
kedt
othedoorbutIt
urned 
Me:"Icannotl
etBanzi
takeawaymyhappiness
j
ustlikethat!
!Ihav
ecometoofart
olett
hat
happen!!"
Wi
tht
hatbei
ngsai
d,Iwal
kedout.
.
.
..
.
..
.
.
"Banzi
Tengeti
le,hei
slandi
nginCapeTownin
anhour!Makesurehedoesn'
tmakeitt
oHis
housesafel
y!"
Isentt
hemessagetoSpit
joas
soonasIwalkedout.
..
•
•
•
•
#Chr
issy

"Idon'
tknow!
Justbr
inghi
mtomest
il
lal
i
ve!
"I
shouted 
Gener
al:
"ButChr
-Imeanbossdoyouknowwho
wearedeali
ngwith?
Themostpopul
argangi
n
Swazi
land"
Me:
"Doy
outhi
nkIgiv
eaf l
yi
ngfuckonwhohe
i
s?Hemaybeapresi
dentorwhatev
eri
tis
JUSTBRI
NGBANZITENGETI
LETOME
TODAY!
!!
!"
Gener
al:
"Okay
,consi
dert
hatdonet
hen,
I'
ll
keep
i
ncontact"
Me:
"Good"
Ihungupandgul
pedthewhiskyoncemor e.
If
theki
dsfi
ndoutaboutt
his,Iknowitmight
destr
oyt
hem t
oIcannotletthathappen.

TOBECONTI
NUED 
[
04/
28,
19:
21]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
I
NSERTFI
NALEP6

 I
nser
t68

'
Thewor stonethi
ngonecandoisnottotry,
to
beawareofwhatonewant sandnotgiv
eintoit
,
tospendy ear
sinsi
lenthur
twonder
ingif
somet
hingcoul
dhaemat
eri
ali
zed-
nev
er
knowi
ng'
-
Boi
tumel
o
•
•
•
#Lut
hando

Boi
tumel
odi
dn'
tseem happyatal
l.
Ithoughtbuy
ingherabeachhousei
nCape
Townwi ll
dri
veherovert
hemoonbutal
lshe
gavemewasaf ai
ntsmil
e.
Me:
"Don'
tyoul
i
kei
t?"
*
Sil
ence*
*
Me:
"I
tu?
"
Her
:"
Uh.
.Uhh?
"
Il
ookedather
 
Me:"
Okay,I'
mti
redoft
hisnow.
Boi
tumel
o
what'
swrong?"
Her
:"
Not
hing"
Me:"Don'
tmakemebeatt
het
rut
hout
tay
ou
becauseIwoul
d"
Her
:"
Okayl
uu,
Ilov
ethi
shouse.
I'
mjustnot
f
eel
ingwel
l
 
Igav
eheradeadst
are 
Her
:"
Cany
out
akemebackt
othehot
el?
"
Me:"
Reall
ynowBoit
umelo?It
sbeent
woweeks
wi
thoutseei
ngeachot
her"
Shekeptqui
et 
Me:
"Okayl
et'
sgot
hen"
Shel
edt
hewayout.
.
Somet
hingi
sof
fwi
thBoi
tumel
o..
.
•
•
•
•
#Mal
erat
o (
Kwena'
smom)

Isatonmybedroom bed.Ihav
ebeencrying
andgrumbli
ngveryl
oudlyinmydial
ect,
lucki
lyI
wasallal
oneathomet obeaskedquest
ions.

Itistruet hatt rut

halwayshasitswayofcomi ng
out.Banzi andImetbef oreKwenawasbor n.In
him Isawat r
uegent l
eman.Amansot rueto
putar i
ngonmyf i
nger.Hewasal l
kindshot
,hadev erythingawomancoul daskf or.Atthat
timeIwasv er ypoorandcoulddoany thi
ngjust
tof i
l
lmyst omacht henhecameandr escued
met heni nt roducedmet oaworldofluxury.I'
d
bel yi
ngi fIsai dIwaswi thBanzial
lbecauseof
l
ov ebuthi smoneyt hat'
swhywhenev erhe
cheatedi tnev erbother
edme, allt
hatmat t
ered
wast
hemoneyandev
ery
thi
nghegav
eme.
 
Sexuall
y, henev erpleasedmeatal l
.Somet i
meshewoul dev ennot icebutwoul dlet
i
tpass. Twoy earsthroughour" rel at
ionship"he
i
mpr egnatedsomeoneandl aterf oundoutshe
gavebirthtot wins.Ihadnoki dsatt hattime
AndIgotr eallymadt hathei mpr egnated
someoneel seoutofourr elat
ionshi p.Henev er
showedanyr emor senorr egrett owhathedi d
.Thingsgotr eallysourbet weenus, wewer e
sl
owl ybutsur elyseparati
ngandhewasf i
nding
comf or
tont hebabymamawhi l
eIwasal so
cry
ingonhi sf ri
end'sshoul derandatt i
mes
ri
dinghisdick.
Tocutt hestoryshor
t,heendedupl eavingme
forhisbabymamaandl atermarri
edher. Few
yearswentbyandBanzi andIwereslowly
getti
nvbackt oget
her,apparentl
yhegotbor ed
i
nhi smar r
iageanddecidedtohav ecasual sex
withmewhenev erwefoundt i
met i
ll
Ifoundout
Iwaspr egnantwithKwenaandsur ely,t
he
fatherisBanzi'
sfri
end.Ipi
nnedt hepregnancy
onBanzi justsoIcouldgetashar ecutofhis
l
agacy. Fewy ear
slaterhediv
or cedthebaby
mamaandbet weenusgotof f
icialbutIwassti
ll
fuckinghisfri
end..

IrememberwhenBanzi ki
ckedKwenaoutof
ourhouse, i
tisthedayIwillneverforget.Ihad
todosomet hingbutfeari
ngBanzi Icouldn't.I
couldn'
tevenchooseKwenaov ermoney. .I
knewshewoul dgooutthereandbest rongall
alone.Iknowitwaswr ongbutIdon' tregreti
t,I
knewshewoul dcomebackt ofightBanzi all
strong.

Itookmyphone,may bei
tsti
meItel
lthet
rut
h.I
knowBanzimightki
l
lmeaf t
erthi
sbutmy
daught
erdeser
vestobehappy
"Kwena,Weneedt
otal
k,pl
easecomet
omy
house.I
TSURGENT!
"
-
Messagesentt
oKwena

Itookadeepsi
ghbef
oregr
owingthecour
age
tofinal
l
ywal
koutofmgbedroom .
..
•
•
•
•
#Kwena

Ireadthemessaget hent
hrewmyphoneont he
othercouch.Ihadbookedmyselfaroom f
or
one.Ijustneededtobealoneandthi
nk.
Aknockonthedoorcamet hrough..
Theperson
knockedt
il
ltheydeci
dedt
ol etthem sel
fin.
.
I
twasBoi
tumel
o 
Her
:"
Kwenadoy ouhav
eanyi
deahowwor
ri
ed
weareabouty
ou? "
Me:
"Howdi
dyouf
indme?
"
Her
:"
Itdoesn'
tmat
ter"shesatont
hecouch 
Her
:"Youdoknowt
hatdr
inki
ngdoesn'
tsol
ve
any
thingr
ight?
"
Ikeptqui
et 
Her
:"
Butt
alki
ngdoes"
Istoodupandwal keduptothewi
ndowand
staredt
hroughi
t,shefol
lowedme 
Me:
"It
houghtI
'
dbehappyaboutwhatI
'
m about
t
odobutI'
m not"
Her
:"
Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout?
"
Iwipedmyt ear
s,Ihav
eneverbeensobroken
.I
tfeltl
ikemywor l
dwascr
ashingri
ghti
nfront
ofme. Myheartache.
Me:
"Howwi
l
lIl
eav
eknowi
ngIam sodeepl
yin
l
ovewi
thmybr
other"
Shesi
ghed 
It
urnedandl
ookedather
 
Me:
"No.
.Youal
readyknow?
"
Shenodded 
Isi
ghed 
Me:
"Whoel
seknows?
"
Her
:"
Mymot
herandBaf
ana'
smot
her"
Me:
"No.
no.
no!
!"
Her:
"Kwenadon'
tbeaty
our
sel
fup,
wecanf
ix
t
his"
Me:"
HowBoi tumelo?Iam engagedtomy
br
other,Iam st
rongerthanBafanabutl
ookat
me, Iam br
oken.Whatwi l
lhappentohi
m when
hefi
ndsout? "
Her
:"
Kwenat
lhe.
..
"
Ishuther.
Me:
"I
'm goi
ngoutf
orasmoke"
 
Iwal
keduptothecoff
eet
abl
eandt
ookmy
weedandwalkedout.
.
•
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Isatonthecouch,Ihav
enev
erseenKwena
l
ikethat.
Shecouldn'
tev
enhi
deherpai
n.
Godwhydoy
ouhav
etopuni
shusl
i
ket
his?

Ist
oodupt owal
koutbutKwena'
sbeepi
ng
phonecaughtmyat
tent
ion,i
twasamessage
whichr
ead 
"
Wemanagedt
opl
antabombont
hecarhe'
l
l
beusingtogethome, consi
deroutwor
kdone
her
e.Banziwil
lbedeadinlesst
hananhourand
nonwillknowwhathappenedtohim"

Icov
eredmymout
hinshock 
"
KWENAWHATHAVEYOUDONE!
!!
"
t
hat'
sall
Imanagedt
osaybef
oreIr
anoutt
o
f
indher.
.
Ki
l
li
ngBanzi
won'
thel
pbutmaket
hingswor
se.
.
•
•
•
•
#Baf
ana

Me:
"I
'm wor
ri
edaboutKwena"
Luu:
"I
'm al
sowor
ri
edaboutBoi
tumel
o"
Igul
pedt
hewhi
skeyont
het
abl
e,wewer
eina
cl
ub.
Ineededt
okeepmymi
ndawayf
rom t
hing
aboutKwena 
Hi
m:"Sheact
edsowei
rdear
li
eron.
Somet
hing
i
sn'
twell
"
Me:"AndKwenajustl
eftmeintheshower,her
phonehasbeenringi
ngStr
aightt
ovoicemail
si
ncet hen,
LuuwhatifKwenaisseei
ng
someoneelse?"
Him:"
Idoubt,
what
evert
hat
'sgoi
ngonmustbe
huge"
Ist
oodup 
Me:"Youknowwhat,Icannotj
ustsi
ther
ewhi
l
e
Idon'tknowwhati
sbother
ingmywoman"
Hi
m:"
Anduy
aphi
?"
Me:
"Goi
ngt
ofi
ndoutwhati
sreal
l
yhappeni
ng"
Heal
sost
oodup 
Hi
m:"
OkayI
'
m comi
ngwi
thy
ou"

Wi
tht
hatbei
ngsai
d,wewal
kedout.
..

TOBECONTI
NUED
Mot
her
'shat
red
[
04/
28,
19:
21]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED 
I
NSERTFI
NALEP7

 I
nser
t69

'
Youdon' tknowthedefi
nit
ionofpaini
fyou
neversataloneInthedar
kwi t
htearsi
nyour
eyestry
ingt oconsol
eyoursel
f,ly
ingtoyour
selft
haty oucanholdon-t
hat'
spain 
-
Boi
tumel
o
•
•
•
•
#Banzi

Me:
"Ar
eal
lmybagsi
nthecar
?"
Iaskedmydr
iverTi
mot
hy 
Him:"
Yes,exceptfort
hebl
ackone,
yousai
dI
shoul
dnottouchit"
Ismi
l
ed 
Me:
"You'
redoi
nggr
eatj
obman"
Hebowed 
Me:
"I
'l
lgof
etcht
hebl
ackone"
Hebowedst
il
l.
.

SouthAfr
ica.Myhome,
thehomewher
eIl
eft
bothgoodandbadmemori
es..
Inev
ert
houghtI
'
dsetmyf
oother
eev
erbuthey
..
.
Myphoner anginmypocket, Ichangedbackto
SouthAf ri
ca'ssimcardsopeopl eheremightbe
abletofindme, i
twasSam ( myf ri
endwhom I
secret
lyhat eri
ghtbecauseofMal erato.
Him
andMal eratohadsomet hinggoingonbehind
myback. ReasonIknowt hisisbecauseIam a
gangsterandIknowev er
y thi
nggoingonbehind
myback. Ineverconfr
ontedthem causeIknew
i
tmi ghtscar eMalerat
ooff. 
Me:
"Sam?
"
Hi
m:"
Arey
oual
readyhomebuddy?
"
Me:
"Noty
etbutI
'
m att
heai
rpor
t"
Him:
"Howaboutagl
assofwhi
skybef
oregoi
ng
home?"
Me:
"Thatwoul
dbegr
eat,
sendmet
hel
ocat
ion"
Hi
m:"
Rightoni
t"
Hehungup.
I
tisonl
yGodt
hatknowshowmuchIhat
eSam .
Everyti
mehecall
s,IjustwishIcouldsquash
hisball
sov
erbutoft
enlycomet othethought
thatIal
sorant
oThabithaformypr obl
ems. .

Iwal
kedbackt
omycar.
JustwhenIwasabout4+metr
esaway,the
unbel
iev
abl
ehappened,i
texpl
ode.
.Someone
musthavepl
antedabombinmycar..
Itt
hrewmeri
ghtacrosst
hegl
asswallandI
knewIwashurtwhenmyeyesshut.
..
•
•
•
#Mal
erat
o

Tshi
diandt
heki
dswereprepar
ingthedi
nner,
I
real
l
yhopedKwenawoul
dbeher ebynow..
I
alsohopedBanziwoul
dhav ear
ri
vedsi
ncehe
toldushispl
anewil
lbelandi
ngat5pm which
nowi s7pm andhi
sphoneisnotgoi
ngthrough 
Tshi
di:
"Andwear
edone"
*
*Si
l
ence*
*
Mymindwasjustal
lar
oundt
heplace.Ishoul
d
havet
oldbot
hKwenaandBanzi
thetruthby
now 
Tshi
di:
"Mama?
"
Me:
"Uh.
..
Uh?
?"
Her
:"
Wher
eisy
ourmi
ndat?
"
Isatdownwhi l
etaki
ngadeepsi
gh, Tshi
dii
s
pregnant,
formetotell
hermysecr
etswouldbe
aburdenonhershoulders.
.
Aknockont
hedoorsav
edmyl
i
fe 
Her
:"
I'
ll
gocheckont
hat"
Shewal
kedt
othedoor.
.
Ihear
daman'
svoi
ce,
whi
chwast
her
easonf
or
met
ost
andandgocheck 
Man1:"
Goodeveni
ng,Iam detect
iveLeon.I
bel
iev
ethisi
sMaler
atoKoalepeTengeti
le'
s
home? "
Thatscar
edme 
Me:
"YeahandhowcanIhel
pyou?
"
Leon:
"Mem wear
eher
ebecauseofBanzi
Tenget
il
e."
Tshi
di:
"Comei
n"
Theywal
kedi
nandsatont
hesof
as.
Real
l
y
Iwasn'treadytohearwhattheywantedt
osay
becauseIknowf orsurethati
twasthebad
news, Banzishoul
dhav ebeenher
ebynowi f
somethinghadn'thappenedtohi
m 
Leon:"Mem .
.We,weareher
etoinf
ormyou
thatBanzi
hasbeeni
nvolv
edinanacci
dent"
Ikeptqui
et 
"
Hei
sinav
erybadst
ater
ightnow"he
cont
inued 
Tshi
di:
"Wha-Whathappened?
''
Leon:"
Therewasabombpl antedinhiscar,
l
uckil
ywhenexpl odehewasn' tyeti
nthecarbut
nottoofarfr
om ittocatcht hefir
e,wedonot
knowt hewholestorybutwear edoingthe
i
nvesti
gati
ons.Unf ort
unately,hisdr
iverwas
i
nsidethecarsohe. ..
"
Il
azi
l
yst
oodup 
Me:
"Wher
eishe,
Iwantt
oseehi
m"
Leon:
"Mem hei
s-"
Me:
"Iwantt
oseemyhusband!
!!
!!
!"
Ishout
ed 
Leon:
"We'
l
ltakey
out
hen"

Tshi
di:
"Whatwi
l
lIsayt
othev
isi
tor
s?"
Il
ookedatherwi
tht
ear
s 
Me:"Myhusbandmightbedyi
ngandal
lyou
car
efori
sstupidv
isi
tors?"
Shekeptqui
et 
Il
ookedatLeon 
Me:
"Let
'
sgo"

Iwasn'tassadasIthoughtIwoul
dBemeaning
partofmewassadwhi lepartofmeact
ual
l
y
thoughthedeser
vedtodie..
Butthequest
ionnowi
s,whowoul
dwantt
oki
l
l
Banzi?
•
•
•
•

#Baf
ana
Me:"
Wher
eisKwena,
sheshoul
dbeher
eby
now"
Isai
dlooki
ngatmywr
istwat
ch 
Luu:"
Idon'tknow, l
etmegochecki
fBoi
tumel
o
i
sdone, Idon'twantBanzi
bei
ngonourt
hroat
s
forl
atecoming"
Ir
oll
edmyey
es.
Iam act
ual
l
ygoi
ngtothi
smeetingal
lbecauseI
wantKwenatomeetmyfat
hernothi
ngmor e.
.
Lut
handowal
kedout.
.
Itookmyphoneandtr
utedKwenaoncemore
butthi
sti
meherphonewascomplet
elyof
f..
"
Sti
l
ltr
yingt
ogethol
dofKwena?
"
It
urned,
itwasmom 
Me:
"Yeah,andwhyar
eyouinPJs,
arentwe
meeti
ngBanzi
'snewf
amil
y?"
Her
:"
Aboutt
hat-
"
Il
ookedatherandshookmyhead 
Me:"Don'
tst
art,youmadeusagreet
omeet i
ng
yourexhusband'
snewfamil
yandnowy ou
changedyourmindwit
houti
nfor
mingus?"
Her:
"No!Hedi
dn'
tsendmetheaddresstohis
homeandnowhisphonei
sn'tgoi
ngthrough"
Ichuckl
edbi
tt
erl
y 
Me:"Heisacowar d!Banzii
sabl oodycowar
d
!!
Nowhecan' tfaceusallbecauseheusall
becauseheleftus?"
Shekeptqui
et
Il
ookedatHer
 
"
Whatmor
eist
her
easony
ou'
renotr
eady?
"
Iasked 
Shel
ookedal
lar
ounduncomf
ort
abl
y
Her
:"
What.
.Whatdoy
oumean?
"
Me:
"Iknowy
ouma,
ther
eissomet
hing.
Tel
lme
"
Shehel
dmyhand 
"
Come"
Shel
edust
othecouchandwesatdown 
Her:
"Baby,t
his.
.Ineedyout
ounder
standt
hat
t
hisisnoteasyf
ormet oo."
Herey
esf
il
lwi
tht
ear
s 
Shehel
dbot
hmyhands 
Her:"
IrememberwhenIgav ebirt
htoyouand
Thando, Iknewt hatIhadgi venBanzithe
greatestgif
tonecouldev ergi v
ehi m.Thej
oyhe
hadinhi seyesmademyhear tev enbri
ght
er
.Throughhewi sheditcouldhav ebeenaboy
andagi rlhealsoappr eci
atedy ou..
"
Shesni
ff
ed 
"Hesti
l
lwantedababygi r
lthoughbutIcoul
dn'
t
giv
ehim morekidsbecauseofmycar eer.
I
knewIhadfail
edhim asahusbandandasa
fat
her.
IknewIhadpushedhi m backinthe
handsofhi
sex. AndIdid,Ipushedhi
m backin
t
hehandsofhi
sexFana.
."
Shecr
iedoutl
oud 
Her
:"
Shegavehim ababygirl
!Ababygir
lwho
i
snowasSt r
ongBanziis,abeaut
if
ulgi
rl.
Agir
l
t
hatIhat
edallmyli
fethoughIdi
dnotknowher
meanwhi
leshewasrightundermynose..
."
Me:
"Youknowher?
"
Shel
ookedatmeandsmi
l
edt
hroughhert
ear
s 
Her:"Iknowher, thef i
rstdayImethershe
splashedwat erov ermycl ot
hs.Iknewshehad
herat ti
tudefrom someoneIknewbutIdi dnot
taket hatint
oconsi derat
ion"
Me:
"DoIknowher?
"
Shekeptqui
et 
Me:
"Ma?
"
.
..
"
Fell
asyoucanbel
i
evethi
s!!
Boi
tumel
oisi
nbed
.Kant
iwhatt
hehel
lisgoi
ngonhere?
"
Lut
handoshout
edashemadehi
swayi
n,he
l
ookedatmom 
Hi
m:"
Nawe?
"
Wekeptqui
et.
.

Il
ookedatmom 
Me:
"And?
"
Shest
oodup.
.
Her:
"Tal
ktoyourbrot
her,we'
l
lfi
nishour
conver
sati
oninthemorni
ng"
Shewal
kedout
 
Real
l
y?
[
04/
28,
19:
22]Ron:
MOTHER'
SHATRED

FI
NALI
NSERT

 I
nser
t70
'
Personall
y:Attheendweal
lshal
lrej
oice,we
shal
lforgetall
thebadmemori
esandf ocuson
theposi
t i
vefutur
e,wel
l,
atl
eastIt
hought!
Mymot
her
shat
redhaski
l
ledus,
itki
l
ledusal
l
!!
!!
'
-
Boi
tumel
o 
•
•

•
Twoweeksl
ater

#Boi
neel
o

Iwat
chedmom sl eepi
ngpeacef
ulonherbed
..
Thethoughtofalmostl
osi
ngherkil
l
edme
dai
l
y..
Yes,Imightbeangryatherf
orev
erythi
ngt
hat
happenedtomef ewweeksbackbutIdon'
t
thi
nkI'dsur
viv
ethisworl
despeci
all
ynowthatI
am alone..
"
Hi"
Itur
ned,i
twasThat
o..
Shel
ookedsogr
ownup
andbeauti
ful
..

Most lyIspendmyt i
met hinkingofher .She
choset ostaywi t
hLuthando'smot herin
Pretoria,i
thadbeenamont hwit
houtseei ng
herandIshoul dsayIgotr eall
yexcitedseeing
her, Icoul
dn'tevenhi
det hejoywithinme: I
thoughtshedi dn'
twannaseemeany more.
Iev
enhadt
ear
s 
Me:
"Nana,
comeher
e"
Shecamemywayandwehugged.
.
Her
:"
Neel
oImi
ssedy
ou"
Ismil
ed, I
twast heThef
ir
stti
meembr aci
ng
eachother,If
eltthemot
herdaught
erbond
betweenus..

Ihat
edmysel f,Ihat
edmysel ff
ornotr
eal
isi
ng
Ii
gnoredt
heconnect i
onbetweenmydaughter
andIandfocusedonst upi
dthi
ngs 
Me:
"Imi
ssedy
out
oobaby"
Iof
feredherasit,wel
lIendedupsell
i
ng
mother'
shouseandgetti
ngourselfasmal
ler
andlessexpensiv
ehouse.Thoughweareno
moreleavi
ngtheluxur
yli
fe,I'
m gl
adwedonot
gotobedhungr y..
Iwanttofi
xmyli
fe,
Iwantt
ocar
eformy
motherandI.
.
Iknowsheregr
etsal
lthatshedi
dtoBoitumelo
andlor
dknowswewi l
lmaket hi
ngsr
ightwit
h
herwhenweseeher 
Her
:"
Howi
sshe?
"
Shemeantmymot
her
 
Me:
"She'
sbet
ternow.
."
Ilookedatmom 
"Wewil
lbot
hfightt
hissi
ckness,shei
sst
rongI
knowshewil
lgetbackonherfeet"
Her
:"
Hopef
ull
y"
Shegav
emeanenv
elop 
Her:"GrandmaThabithahasbeeni nCapetown
tovisitBoit
umelo.Iwast heret
oobutIhadt o
comebackbecauseofschool soIam st
aying
withherhousekeeper. .ShesentmeR3500f or
everythingIneedsoIcutt heshar
etogiveitto
you"
Ishookmyheadwi
tht
ear
sfl
owi
ng 
Me:
"NoThat
o.Icannott
akei
t,i
tsy
our
s"
Her
:"
NoNeel
o,Iwannagi
vei
ttoy
ou.
.Pl
ease
t
akeit"
It
ooki
t 
Her
:"
Itwi
l
lkeepy
ougoi
ngt
il
lmont
hend"
*
*Si
l
ence*
*
Her
:"
Neel
oIlovey
ou,Il
ovebothyouandkoko
soI
'dhat
etoseeyoudi
einhunger"
Icoul
dn'
thol
diti
nanymor easIbur
sti
nloud
sobsofj
oy,Inev
erthoughti'
dgett
oseethi
s
day,t
hedayThatoandIfi
nall
yshar
ethebond 
Me:
'
Ilov
eyouThat
o"
Shesmi
l
edasshel
etgo 
Her
:"IhavetogofetchThasha(
Luthando'
schi
l
d)
att
hepr eschool
.Takecareofy
ourselfma"
Ismi
l
edl
ooki
ngatherwal
kaway.
..
.
•
•
•
#Chr
ist
ina
I
t'
sbeenalmost3-4weekswit
houtseeing
Kwena.
.I
twasbr eaki
ngbot
hBoitumeloand
Baf
ana..
Wewer
esear
chi
ngf
orher,
weev
enwent
asfarr
eporti
nghermi
ssi
ngandt
hepol
i
cewer
e
taki
ngthei
rTime..
Thabithawasf orcedt
ot el
lthet
winsaboutthei
r
rel
ationWi t
hKwenaandIshoul dsayitdi
dn't
endwel l,Luthandowentthehospi
talt
oattack
hisfatherbutitwasunfort
unatewhenhefound
himinI CU..

Il
ookedatThabi
thadr
inki
ng,
shewasont
he
secondbot
tl
eofwine 
It
ookt
hebot
tl
eandsatdown 
Me:"
Idon'
tthi
nky
oushoul
ddr
inky
ourpr
obl
ems
away"
Shel
ookedatme 
Her:"
Whatshoul
dIdo?Chr
issymyson'slif
eis
fadi
ng,If
eelli
kehehat
esmef orhi
sfathers
sins"
Me:"
Hedoesn'
that
eyou, Hei
sjusthur
tthat
youkepti
tawayf
rom hi
m"
Her
:"
Ishoul
dn'
thav
elethi
m go"
shecr
iedout
l
oud 
Me:
"shhh.
.Youdon'
tbl
amey ourselff
orBanzi
'
s
mi
stakes.
.He'
ll
comearound,thatIpr
omise"
Myphonerang,itwasdet
ect
iveLeon,heis
worki
ngonKwena'scase.
.Il
ookedatThabi
tha
bef
oreanswer
ing 
Me:
"Leon?
"
Hi
m:"Owens,Cany
oucomedownt
othe
st
ati
ontoday
?"
Me:
"Why,
isev
ery
thi
ngal
ri
ght?
"
Him:"
I'
m af
rai
dno. .
Ihavecal
l
edt
het
wins,and
Kwena'smotherIwouldl
ikey
out
obr
ingal
ong
Boit
umelo"
Me:"SheisPregnantLeon,Icannotr
iskmy
daughterhav
ingtomi scar
ry"
Hekeptqui
et,Iknewwehadt
oexpectt
he
wor
stfrom hi
m 
Me:
"Okaywe'
l
lcome"
Hi
m:"
Seey
out
hen"
Ihungup,
IlookedatThabi
tha 
Me:
"Hewant
stoseeal
lofust
oday"
•
•
•
#Boi
tumel
o

Wewerealli
nLeon'soff
iceasasked,
Iknew
somet
hinghappenedtoher.
Imightbebr
okenbutBaf
anal
ookedev
enmor
e
br
oken..
Whathappenedt
oher,
whathappenedt
o
Kwena?
Det
ect
ivemadehi
swayi
n..
Hi
m:"
Goodday"
Mom:
"Det
ect
ivej
ustgetst
rai
ghtt
othepoi
nt"
Him: "
Wellitseemsl i
kewewi l
lbetakingstep
twoofouri nv est
igat
ionsincewel l
steponehas
fai
led, wetriedlocat
inghercellphonebutwe
can'tIthi
nkitmi ghtbedestroyedWewi l
lbe
searchingfrom thefuneralparl
-"
Me:
"Shei
snotdeaddet
ect
ive!
"Sheshout
ed 
Shehel
dmyhand 
Me:"
MaIknowKwena, shei
ssost
rong.
Iknow
shewon'
ttakeherl
i
feaway"
Det
ect
ivekeptqui
et 
Ist
oodup,
angerwasbui
l
dingi
nwi
thi
nme 
Me:
"Fanatel
lthem ,
tel
lthem Kwenai
sst
ronger
t
hanthis 
Yekeptqui
et 
Mom al
sost
oodup 
Her
:"
Nanapl
ease"
Det
ect
ive:
"Ther
eismor
e"
Het
ookoutt
hreeenv
elopesf
rom hi
sfi
l
e 
Hi
m:"Thi
swasfoundinthehotelr
oom sheused
t
ostayinbef
oreshedisappear
ed"
Hegavet
hem t
ous.Theywer
ewrit
tenour
nameToBaf
ana,ToBoit
umel
o,ToMalerat
o.

ToBaf
ana:
SthabdwaSam ,
Idon'
tknowwheretostartbutIguessfrom t
he
begi
nning..
.Wel
l,Iwasreal
lyhappythatfi
nal
lyI
gottowit
nesswhattruelov
eis.
Ineverbeli
evedthati
texi
stedunti
lyoucame
myway. BabeIcouldn'
tholditanymor
e, I
couldn'
tstandthepai
nofseeingtryl
ove
thr
oughy oureyesbutknowingiti
sfor
bidden.
Don'
twaitf
orme,f
indlove.
Findsomeonewho
shal
ll
oveyoumor
et hanIdi
d.
Icannotexpl
ainmor
ebutIknowy
ouwi
l
lfi
nd
thetr
uth.
.
LikeIsai
dtoBoit
umelo,letgoofmebut
remembermef oral
lthegoodthi
ngswedid
toget
her..
.
Yourl
oveKwena"

ToMal
erat
o:Mme,
ler
atoLApel
oyaka.
Forgi
vemef ort
ryi
ngtoki
llBanzi
butwhatwasI
supposetodobecauseyoubothkil
l
edme
spi
rit
ual
ly?
Well,
Iam happywef
inal
l
ygott
ospendmyl
ast
day
st oget
her.
Ineedy outoprotectTshidi
from Banzi,l
earnto
standforyourkidsagainstBanzibecauseifyou
don'tyouendupki l
li
ngTshidi aswell.
Sendmy
l
ov etoher.
Kwena!
"

I
twasshortwi
thnomeani
ngbutwor
dst
hathi
t
hermot
herdeepwi
thi
n

"
ToBoi
tumel
o:
NanaIam sor ryIhadt oletyougot hroughthis
painallalone. Wehav ebeent hroughwor stand
Iknowy oucansur v i
vethisone.Iwanty outo
l
etmegobutr ememberme, remembermef or
allt
hememor iesweshar edt
oget her.Wheny ou
fi
ndme, trynott osav emef orIwi l
l fi
ndpeace
.Raisethatchi ldwithloveandki ndness.Teach
herorhimt obest ronglikeIwas, l
etherbea
remindert hatgoodt hingsalwaysf indusatt he
end.Remember, Il
ov eyouandIwi l
l al
way s
protectyouf rom thewor st..
Kwena"
Icouldn'
thol
dmyselfany
mor e,Ifeltpai
nsi
n
myabdomi nalar
ea,
Icouldn'
ttakeitasI
screamed..
Theyal
lqui
ckl
yst
oodupandat
tendedt
ome.
.

Tojour
neytohospit
alwassolong,Idon'
tknow
whathappenednextbutal
lIr
ememberwas
Lut
handodrivi
ngli
keamanictothehospi
tal
andmom holdingmyhandinpanicsi
ncewellI
bl
ed..

Well
.Ithi
nkIwasbookedinforanemergency
CSsincewellIgav
ebirt
htoababygirl
,she
wasn'tbr
eathi
ngwellt
hough,shesoti
ny
..
may bebecausesheispr
emature.
.

Herl
i
fedependedont
ubesandmachi
nes.
.
Iwil
lnameherKwenai fshesur
viv
es.Butasa
mother,Ithi
nkIshoul
dholdinHopethatshe
wil
lsurv
ive..

Wellt
hiswasmyst orybuti
tmightnotbethe
endofmesi nceBoi
tumeloPhal
adiissti
l
lon
aboutwri
ti
ngstori
es..

•
•
•

#Kwena

"
Thanksf
orev
ery
thi
ngThomas"
Hi
m:"
It
sthel
eastIcando"
Wecont
inuedst
ari
ngatt
hechauf
feurl
oadi
ng
mybagsI
nthej
et 
Hi
m:"
Wher
ear
eyougoi
ngt
hough?
"
Me:
"Somewher
efaraway.
"
Hechuckl
ed 
Hi
m:"
Isti
ll
cannotbel
i
evet
haty
ouandt
het
wins
ar
esi
bli
ngs"
Me:
"Met
oo"
Iwi
pedmyt
ear
soncemor
e 
Me:
"Iguesst
hisi
sitf
orme"
Ihuggedhi
m bef
orest
eppi
ngi
nthej
et

WellIwant
edt
otakemyl
i
febutIam scar
edof
deat
h..
Iknowmostmighthat
emet
hinki
ngI
'
m cr
uel
butlet
'
sthi
nk.
.
Howmanycansur
viv
ethi
spai
n?
Thepai
nofhav
ingt
owat
cht
heoneper
sony
ou
t
rul
ylov
ehear
tbr
okenknowi
ngy
our
elat
ed?
Ican'
t,Ican'
tbar
eit.
.
Icannotst
andi
ngwat
chi
nghi
m br
oken.
.
Well
weallthoughtatt
heendweshal
lfi
nal
l
y
f
indhappi
ness..
Ther
eshal
lbel
ightattheendofourt
unnel
but
i
ttur
nswearesti
lli
nthedark.

Mother
's,
doy ouknowt
hatourhear
tscanki
l
l
ourl
ovedones? 
Ahear
tisapower
ful
weapon.
..
Ourchi
ldrenmightdomi
stakes,
Candisr
espect
us,candriveustoapoi
ntwhereweregr
et
fal
l
ingpregnant!
!
I
tispar
tofl
i
fe.
.

Shemi
ghtbeapr
oductofr
ape.
..
Ourbabydaddycanl eaveus,theymighttreat
usbadlyafterwehavefall
enpregnantbutitis
st
il
lpartoflif
etheonlyonethi
ngweshoul dn't
doispunishingourki
dsforthi
scruelmistakes
ofotherpeople!

Thesit
uati
onsthatdri
veust
obeingangryat
ourki
dsdiff
erbutrememberthedayyouwere
i
nlabourpai
nsandt ol
dyour
selfI
twil
lbewort
h
i
t!
Rememberwhenyousmi
l
edwhenshecr
ied
knowi
ngyoumadeit
 
Remembert
hesl
eepl
essni
ght
s!
Guysletusloveourchi
l
drenandnotpuni
sh
them f
orotherpeopl
essins,
theyar
eour
pri
cel
essgifts.
.
Mot
her
'shat
redki
l
ls 
Wel
lmynamei
sKwenaKoal
epeandt
hiswas
mystor
y 
MOTHER'
SHATREDbyBoi
tumel
oPhal
adi

Theend.
.