Ang Naging Kamalayan Bunga NG Hiwalayan: Understanding Young Adults' Attitudes Towards Parental Separation

ANG NAGING KAMALAYAN BUNGA NG
HIWALAYAN: UNDERSTANDING YOUNG

ADULTS’ ATTITUDES TOWARDS
PARENTAL SEPARATION
PSYCHOLOGY AND EDUCATION: A MULTIDISCIPLINARY JOURNAL

2023
Volume: 7
Pages: 637- 657
Document ID: 2023PEMJ586
DOI: 10.5281/zenodo.7749977
Manuscript Accepted: 2023-15-3
Psych Educ, 2023, 7: 637-657, Document ID: PEMJ0, doi: 10.5281/zenodo.7749977, ISSN 2822-4353
Research Article
Ang Naging Kamalayan Bunga Ng Hiwalayan: Understanding Young Adults’ Attitudes

Towards Parental Separation
Niña Ercie Paras*, Nicole Anne Espiritu, Ma.Rovelyn Escoto, Jimboy Duran, Jenalyn Conquilla,
Jhamby Agustin, Amor Artiola, Wenifreda Templonuevo, Jhoselle Tus
For affiliations and correspondence, see the last page.
Abstract
The end of a relationship entails a significant change in one’s life. Separation of parents is defined
as living in a household with only one parent or in a home where the parents are married but eventually
stop living together as a couple. Typically, the experience of having a dysfunctional or unsatisfying
relationship precedes the parents’ separation. This study aims to explore the lived experiences of young
adults towards their parents’ separation, specifically: (1) to describe the lived experiences, advantages
and disadvantages, towards parental separation; (2) to determine young adults’ specific attitudes
towards parental separation; and (3) to identify the coping mechanisms regarding parental separation.
Utilizing the Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis (IPA) method, the study findings are the
following: (1) Young adults experienced more disadvantages from parental separation than advantages.
Most participants battled mainly with longing for parental support, early childhood responsibility, and
delinquency. (2) Young adults displayed various attitudes regarding affect, mainly sadness, perplexity,
anger, fear, frustration, and envy. Some of them displayed inappropriate behaviors towards social
relationships, such as avoidant, apathetic, disrespectful, and violent behaviors. (3) Most young adults,
primarily males, coped mostly through acceptance and forgiveness, social support, positive changes,
optimism, and lessons from the situation.
Keywords: attitudes, young adults, philippines, phenomenological study, parental separation
Introduction Ismael, & Othman, 2020). As a concept and holistic

term, an attitude has been defined as a psychological
The end of a relationship entails a significant change propensity to assess various entities with varying
in one's life. Separation of parents is defined as living in degrees of agreement and disagreement. Attitude is
a household with only one parent or in a homewhere associated with behavioral intention in a good way. A
the parents are married but eventually stop living more thorough definition states that an attitude is a
together as a couple. Typically, the experience of person's perspective or personality comprised of
having a dysfunctional or unsatisfying relationship affective, cognitive, and behavioral components. The
precedes the parents' separation (Helsingin Kaupunki, cognitive component is one's beliefs or facts about the
2021). Signs that separation is imminent include scorn, attitude object. Regarding children's attitudes towards
harsh criticism, silence, persistent defensiveness, and parental separation, it is regarded as an added trauma
an inability to resolve disagreements. Numerous studies to an adverse stressful situation at home and a lengthy,
have examined or identified parents' separation and challenging journey. According to one study, separated
child outcomes, including cognitive abilities, parents and raising children to influence their
educational outcomes, and emotional and children's affective, behavioral, and cognitive aspects. It
psychological well-being. Many Filipinos have had or also includes increased rates of depression and other
tried to have their marriage dissolved, despite the types of maladaptive behavior, difficulty recovering
convergence of conditions that prevent most Filipinos from stressors, and struggle to control emotions (De
from doing so (Abalos, 2017). In the United States, an Witte, 2018b). For instance, when a child of separation
estimated 1.1 million youth experience this change shows the models of behavior obtained from their
within the family each year, with 30-50% living in parents when they separated, they internalize their
separated families before age 16 (Wolchik, thoughts and attribute these events to a lack of trust in
Christopher, Tein, Rhodes, & Sandler, 2018). Parental people or a general mistrust toward relationships
separation is a significant adverse childhood (Pearce, 2017). Several studies have been conducted
occurrence that is generally a risk factor for a child's on children's attitudes toward their parents' separation.
behavioral conflict (Xerxa et al., 2019). It instills However, these studies still need to be more extensive
various emotions in many children, including fear, rage, and adequate to guarantee young adults' overall lived
and relief. experiences with their different family structures and
within the different life contexts of young adults with
Attitude is the mind's proclivity to act in a particular their parents separated.
way due to experience and behavior (Muslim, Harun,
Paras et al. 637/657

Research Article
According to Gongala (2022), research shows that

children might get better grades when their parents
separate, as they no longer have to worry about the Methodology
issues in their families. Most or some of the children
Strategies of Inquiry
of separated parents may also learn the best lessons in
handling relationships on a positive note and strive A q u a l i t a t i v e r e s e a r c h s t r a t e g y c a l led
hard to avoid repeating the same mistakes from their "phenomenological research" was utilized to
parents. Generally, parental separation would free their comprehend and characterize a phenomenon's
children from stress, which might improve their fundamental elements. The methodology examines
physical and emotional health (Leamon, 2017). human experience in daily life while putting aside the
However, these studies do not support other studies' researchers' prior notions about the phenomenon. In
claims with the inconsistencies about girls' and boys' other words, phenomenology research investigates
attitudes towards parents' separation. According to actual events to learn more about how people interpret
Justice Research and Data (2015), girls showed poorer them. The premise behind phenomenological research
self-esteem and more behavioral issues than boys. design is that individuals employ a standard structure
Comparatively, 63% of the girls and 27% of the boys or essence to interpret their experiences (Delve, 2022).
had worse psychological conditions. Contrarily, some They interpret the participants' emotions, perceptions,
studies claim that there are no differences in males' and beliefs to elucidate the essence of the event under
and girls' attitudes at all. inquiry. The researcher's preconceived notions about the
experience or phenomenon must be bracketed in
The study's objective is to explore the lived phenomenological research design. To fully
experiences of young adults regarding their parents' understand it, phenomenological research designs are
separation. It also aims to determine young adults' used to examine the perspectives of persons who have
specific attitudes and coping mechanisms regarding encountered a phenomenon to comprehend its
parental separation. This study aims to contribute to universal character. This method is frequently used to
the small but growing body of knowledge about investigate lived experiences, learn more about
people's thinking, and widen a researcher's
children's attitudes following their parents' separation.
understanding of a phenomenon.
This study will be used in psychology to create and
promote awareness about children who have Respondents of the Study
experienced an unhealthy family structure.
Understanding children's health and emotional well-
The study’s participants involved BS Psychology
being in connection to their family structure will
college students in private schools in Bocaue,
expand the field of study on the social and Bulacan.The participants were between eighteen (18)
psychological factors and the relevance of parental and twenty-five (25) years old. The researchers only
separation to their children's attitudes. selected respondents whose parents separated and lived
with only one parent or without both parents. The
Research Questions researchers focused on their criteria to identify and
select participants to contribute to the study. The
This study, entitled "Ang Naging Kamalayan Bunga researchers ensured the availability and willingness to
ng Hiwalayan: Understanding Young Adults' Attitudes engage and the respondents’ capacity to convey
Towards Parental Separation," aims to explore and experiences and views coherently, expressive, and
understand the attitudes of BS Psychology (1st-year to reflective. The participants’ selection reflects and serves
4th-year) college students in private schools in as an example of the homogeneity of the samplepool. In
Bocaue, Bulacan in the Academic Year 2022-2023. a phenomenological approach, the researchers ask the
Specifically, this study sought answers to the participants to remember, reflect on their lives, and
following questions: explain and interpret these recollections. The purpose is
to gain a comprehensive, holistic, and more in-depth
1. What are the lived experiences of young adults with understanding of the respondents’ lived experiences.
parental separation?
2. What are the attitudes of young adults towards
parental separation?
3. What are the coping mechanisms of young adults
towards parental separation?

Research Article
Data Collection Approaches transcriptions underwent thematic content analysis to

weed out biases, identify common themes as the data
The researchers conducted one-on-one interviews with is being searched, and find common patterns across the
young adults whose parents have separated to enhance data set. Familiarizing oneself with the informationand
the findings of this study. Given the safety precautions extracting preliminary analytic ideas from it is critical
and COVID-19 constraints, the discussion took place (Canary, 2019). The next step was creatingbasic codes
via an online video conference call using tools such as and themes that captured and unified each piece of
Zoom, Google Meet, or Messenger, as preferred by the information. The participants' experiences, attitudes,
participants. Participants were given consent forms and coping techniques were significantissues in this
ahead of time to comply with legal requirements. The study. Furthermore, the method culminated with
consent form was delivered to each participant via creating more precise sub-themes and a brief and
Google forms, permitting the full interview to be cohesive report containing these sub- themes. These
videotaped for transcription reasons. Participants were tactics ensured that the information was trustworthy,
guaranteed that all information and data were kept accurate, and unavoidable.
confidential following the conversation. This study
used a semi-structured interview guide submitted to an
Results and Discussion
intensive validation process by subject matter experts
to guarantee accuracy. The researchers created an
interview guide with particular questions to narrowthis The Lived Experiences of Young Adults with
study's three primary themes. The inquiries primarily Parental Separation
focused on young adults' experiences, attitudes, and
coping techniques in the aftermath of their parent's The experiences of parental separation among young
separation. Furthermore, it is vital to emphasize that adults varied greatly, and it is complex to assume
participants can provide clarification or concerns about whether parental separation is entirely a “good” or“bad”
these questions. experience for them. However, specific patterns of
shared experiences and viewpoints were found.
Data Analysis Procedure
This theme presented the lived experiences of young
The study used a qualitative approach, precisely the adults, and various themes involved ten (10)
Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis (IPA) participants who had positive experiences with
method. The benefit of the study is quadrupled parental separation. This theme emphasized
because of the bonding relationship the technique independence, a non-chaotic environment after the
allows researchers to build with their research separation, parents’ better lifestyle, freedom, and
participants. It provides researchers with the best financial assistance. Moreover, fifteen (15)
opportunity to understand the most intimate reflections participants had negative experiences with parental
on the "lived experiences" of research participants. The separation. This theme emphasized longing for
interpretive-phenomenological analysis approach as a parental support, early childhood responsibility, neglect
"participant-centric" approach allows respondents of childhood, the feeling of incompleteness,
(research participants) to express themselves and their delinquency, and sudden adjustment.
"experiential stories" at their discretion, without bias
or persecution. The use of the IPA approach in a Advantages
qualitative research study underscores the fact that its
main aim and essence is to explore the participants' Being independent is a skill that only some possess.
lived experiences and allow them to narrate the research However, being overly independent can sometimes
results through their 'lived experiences (Alase, 2017). result in loneliness. Nevertheless, in today’s fast-paced
world, it is crucial to learn how to be independent
There are several methods for gathering qualitative
(Delaware Psychological Services, 2021). Due to
data. One of the most efficient strategies for
parental separation, some participants, like Kwangsoo,
eliminating content inconsistencies is to record and
expressed and shared their experience of becoming
transcribe interviews. A detailed review of the data
independent. As he shared:
acquired from young adults whose parents have
separated was required. The interview data included “Ayun siguro yung natuto kaming maging independent
each participant's precise statements verbatim and
sa mga sarili namin and mas nag bond yung
were thoroughly reviewed. The interview
relationship namin magkakapatid na okay lang na

Research Article
kahit wala kaming magulang natuto kaming magluto, laging nag aaway kaya advantages sa amin ang
natuto kami sa sarili namin, kaya namin imanage yung hiwalayan nila."
bahay naglilinis kami, naglalaba, nagluluto kaya namin
Morin (2021) states that children may be more prone
patakbuhin to ayun mas naging independentkami ayun to behavioral and mental health problems if they grow
yung nakita kong advantage.” up in families with much bickering, animosity, and
discontentment.
Jungkook, another participant, shared the same
sentiments and experience. He stated: Also, although parental separation is difficult for
families, staying together just for the benefit of the
“Isa sa mga advantages, is naging independent ako children is possible, and there are better courses of
ngayon, kasi simula nung natuto akong kumayod, action. Sometimes, choosing what you think is wrong
tumayo sa sarili kong paa sa mga gigs, nag work. Dun is the best for everyone. Just like Lisa shared:
ako natuto na kahit bubuhayin ko yung sarili ko,
susuportahan ko iyong sarili ko, kasi iyong stepfather "Basta po alam ko mas sumaya po si mama dito sa
ko hindi niya ako pinag aaral and yung mama kowalang step dad ko. Kaya tingin ko advantage na rin po yon
trabaho. ” kasi her teenage life hindi po masyadong maganda."
Also, in line with Jihyo’s response. He also shared that Sana also shared how her parents turned out to bebetter
due to his parent’s separation, he learned to be after the separation:
independent like the two other participants, Kwangsoo
and Jungkook. "Naging advantages siya at some point sa mama ko,
kasi medyo hindi na mga masyadong maganda iyong
“Siguro yung advantages po siguro yung matuto kang pagsasama nila. Mas nagawa ni mama kung ano man
maging independent kasi hindi rin naman ako maka asa iyong mga dapat niyang gawin or gusto niyang gawin,
sa lolo at lola ko nga since nagtatrabaho sila that time since nung sila pa kasi parang meron pang limitation
and talagang elementary palang, ako na ang na hindant noong nag sasama pa sila. Pero nung
gumagawa lahat tapos may kapatid pa ako kaya naghiwalay na sila, ayun nagawa na ni mama iyong
talagang nag stand up ka talaga parang naging parent mga gusto niyang gawin ganun din si papa."
ka na rin sa kapatid mo yung naging sense of
responsibility mo bilang bata palang.” That is why separating is also a good choice,
especially if it is already toxic. As Graine (2020)
Even though the participants went through a lot, it mentioned, the stress at the heart of the ongoing conflict
cannot be denied that despite their parents’ separation, can frequently be relieved by the parents’ separation.
there are still advantages. Parental separation enables
To continue when it comes to decision-making, some of
them to independently care for their emotional,
the participants shared how they became self-reliant
physical, or financial needs (Delaware Psychological
after their parents separated. As Jin shared:
Services, 2021).
“Ah! Yung ano ako yung nagdedesisyon sa sarili ko, sa
Fortunately, young adults are not permanently harmed
by parental separation. As studied by Graine (2020), mga kailangan kong gawin tapos walang pumipigil sa
there are various circumstances in which young adults akin ganon. Yung sarili ko lang mga paa talaga, ayun
gain from their parent's separation. As Jimin shared: lang yung pinaka advantage ko.”
"Hindi na magulo, hindi na maingay, and masyadong Also, it is somewhat similar to Tzuyu’s response. She
tahimik na, gano’n." said:
J-hope also shared his peacefulness in the said "Yung parang walang nagbabawal sa’kin. Yung walang
situation: didisiplina na sa aking tatay, syempre ‘di ko naman
alam kung ano yung tama’t mali noon kung bakit ko
"Since medyo chaotic ang settings kapag yung parents nagagawa yung mga gano’n.”
mo nag aaway sila sa iisang bubong. And that's kinda
sad na makita ng mga children like me na mas Experiencing parental separation is challenging,
naguguluhan yung bata kapag yung parents nila ay

Research Article
exhausting, and mentally draining, but some affected him for a long time.
participants still see its advantages, especially in money.
“Basta ang disadvantages number one diyan yung
As Rose shared:
inggit, selos, tsaka ano apektadong-apektado ako kapag
"Siguro mababaw… tas ayun nga, dalawa inuuwian may mga events na kailangan ng magulang especially
ko. It’s either sa Mama ko or sa Papa ko. Minsan kapag graduation, at kapag sumasali ako ng contest, syempre
umuuwi ako doon sa papa ko… tas uuwi ako sa mama parang iba iyong laban mo kapag nanonood ang
ko, laging may pabaon. Laging may pa extrang parents mo. So, walang ganun, walang ganun bagay,
allowance. Para sa’kin, ‘yon siguro yung advantage." kaya nasabi ko na mahirap, ang laking impact pa rin
niya na kahit sobrang tagal naapektuhan pag din
Citizens Information (2022) analyzed that parents must ako.”
help their children financially and have a legal right to
receive financial support from both parents. That Parental separation is a difficult period for adolescents,
continuous duty remains the same whether a couple and they require enough assistance. Adolescents were
separates or is divorced. aided by family members, particularly parents, who
listened and provided knowledge and reassurance. Also,
Disadvantages parents must be present to listen and supervise their
children’s actions in a non-intrusive manner (Lodge,
Separation from parents is stressful since it eliminates 2012). However, RM did not experience the same thing
children’s most crucial protection while also creating in his family.
additional trauma. Indeed, research on institutionalized
children has demonstrated that such isolation disrupts “Ang disadvantages nun, hindi sila magkasama at hindi
normal child development and has long-term harmful napoprovide yung mga needs namin tapos walang
effects on both physical and psychological well-being moral support.”
(De Witte, 2018). According to Lodge (2012), parents
must be urged to stay attentive and receptive to their It is not unusual in today’s environment for older
children’s needs while creating family arrangements children to take on a large amount of responsibility for
following separation, including having flexible plans younger siblings, domestic duties, dinner preparation,
around their children’s routines, for example, doing and other parts of running a family with either two or
schoolwork, playing sports, and seeing friends. one working parent. If the child has more domestic
However, according to Jin, he experienced the responsibilities than its parent, they have handed them
opposite. too much to do. You are the parent; thus, parents should
share more home responsibilities than the child. It is
“Disadvantage ko syempre yung wala akong simpler if they have several children to distribute
mapagkukwentuhan at tsaka ano walang ano example responsibilities among, but depending on one child to
sa parents meeting minsan humihiram pa ko ng parents handle everything at home is too much. Realize that you
ng mga kaibigan ko example sa pagkuha ng mga card are the parent, choose to have children, and live your
humihiram pa ako ng mga magulang ng kaibigan ko life. Your child did not (My Family Digest, 2014). As
para kumuha ng card ko ayun yung disadvantage ko stated by Jennie, all responsibilities whenher mother
wala akong kasama.” left were transferred to her and eventually became her
responsibility, which was supposed to be not.
Rose, on the other hand, experienced the same thing
“Hmm… mahirap po nung una kasi po ano eh yung mga
Jin experienced.
responsibilities po na naiwan po talaga. Ako po yung
“Ang pinaka-disadvantage sa akin, sa kanila din siguro, sumalo lahat nung umalis po si mama lahat pong
yung hindi nila akong nakikitang lumalaki, gawaing bahay ako po yung sumalo yun po yung
n a g m a m a t u r e . K u m b a g a h in d i n ila ako disadvantage.”
na su subaybaya n. ”
According to Exploring Your Mind’s (2022) blog,
Parental divorce may be difficult for their children. If particular demands should never be performed on a
parents separate, they must continue to care for their minor. The first is to take the place of a parent. It is not
children. Children must retain a close bond with both a child’s obligation to guarantee their sibling’s well-
parents (You are Mom Magazine, 2018). However, being. If the parents cannot execute this duty, it must
Jungkook experienced the opposite, and it greatly

Research Article
be delegated to another adult. Older siblings should sarili ko ganun.”

not be forced to put their sibling’s needs before their
own. They should be able to do it whenever and According to the study conducted by Boccio and Beaver
(2019), because of patterns of change in family
wherever they choose. However, Kwangsoo did not
structure, the relationship between parental separation
experience the same thing and was obligated to care
and delinquency is of particular relevance. Parental
for his younger siblings at a young age.
divorce is linked to various adverse outcomes,
“Yung mga responsibilities na hindi pa ako dapat including psychiatric issues, poor mental health, poor
academic performance and accomplishment, and
obligado lahat yon nararanasan ko and ngayon
greater engagement in delinquent behavior.
obligado na ako. Pero okay lang sakin syempre mga
kapatid ko kaya nga lang mahirap kasi katulad ngsinabi Just like Tzuyu, who had poor academic performance
ko hindi lang naman ako kuya eh! Estudyante din ako, and engaged in some delinquent behavior in high
boyfriend din ako, kaibigan din ako marami akong school. She says:
commitment marami akong ginagawa kaya hindi
madali.” “Feeling ko mayroon eh, kasi syempre parang
nagbubulakbol ako noon at parang ang dami kong
Every child understands the world through interactions ginawang mali noon. Sa pag-aaral ‘di ako masyado
with their parents, teachers, friends, carers, and specific nakakapag-focus, noong high school cutting ako nang
social events. Children and families flourish when they cutting.”
access a secure, stable, and supportive environment
that fosters excellent childhood experiences (Wahi, In addition, in many circumstances, poor parental
2022). Also, according to Healthy Children monitoring begins in early infancy; moreover, the
Organization (2015), several traits are commonly implications of this parenting style may only become
associated with a well-functioning family. Some apparent once the child approaches adolescence. Parent-
examples are encouragement; love and concern for child connection is critical for the child’s social and
other family members; safety and a feeling of emotional development. Uninvolved and
belonging; open communication; and enabling every inattentive parenting, including criminal activity, can
family member to feel important, valued, respected, seriously affect the child (Law Teacher, 2013).
and appreciated. Which is the opposite life that Jihyo
has grown up with and nurtured. Any separation causes sadness. Children who are going
through a hard time may want the presence of both
“Yung disadvantage naman yung hindi mo naranasan parents as well as the family life they formerlyhad
maging bata tulad ng ibang batang may parents.” and loved. (Hanlon, 2020). The sudden adjustment of V
in his environment because of his parent’s separation
According to Dean (2022), familial love is distinctlove also leads him to depression. He stated that:
with its sensations, behaviors, difficulties, andrewards.
A family consists of people acting as a unit, not blood “Ano po... marami po siyang naging cause, e. Una po,
relatives. This frequently, but only sometimes, nasanay po na kumpleto kami at masaya tapos biglang
includes parents and children. Families that participate gano’n nga po. Kaya malaking epekto po sa mga anak.
in activities together strengthen their family bonds. Ano po... nagkaroon po ng depression, gano’n.
These interactions draw them closer, whether they are Lumala po yung situation.”
going on a date or enjoying the evening engaging in
board games. Attitudes of Young Adults Towards Parental
Separation
When Dahyun sees a happy and complete family,
something in her heart breaks because she knows she This subordinate theme elucidates young adults’
will not experience it. After all, her parents are not attitudes toward parental separation, and are the
together anymore. subordinate themes identified: affect, behavior, and
cognition.
“Ano, malaking pagsubok sa akin yun lalo na kapag
ka may nakikita akong complete iyong family ganun. Affect towards parental separation emphasized
Parang malungkot ako kasi wala akong ganun, di feelings of sadness, perplexity, anger, fear, frustration,
magkasama ang mama at papa ko kaya malungkot. and envy. Cognition towards parental separation
Yun yung disadvantage parang laging may kulang sa highlighted the participants’ thoughts about parental

Research Article
separation, their life perceptions, and their “Ahhh, number one yung nagagalit eh sa kanilang
realizations. dalawa. Kasi pwede naman nilang pag-usapan ganun.
Akala ko kasi that time, it was as simple as that na
Affect makipag-usap lang to apologize to each other and heal
the wound of each other, pero ayun galit talaga yung
Certain emotions, such as anger, perplexity, unang naramdaman ko.”
frustration, and grief, are all common feelings children
may experience due to life events (OurFamilyWizard, According to Kim (2017), separated parents’ children
2019). For instance, the fact that many parents are frequently struggle more intensively and destructively
unable to address their children’s demands, with relationship and marital fears. These fears build
particularly in the period immediately following to a crescendo in maturity when they find themselves
parental separation, can significantly arouse standing where their parents once stood. Indeed, this
these powerful emotions. Sadness is primarily one of fear was an experienced emotion by Rose. She said:
them. This is reflected in Dahyun’s statement below:
“.. takot na yung naramdaman ko nun. No’ng time na
“Ano, yung sa mga unang stage kasi or phase ay yun, kahit ba na bata-bata pa ako and up until now,
malungkot. Parang di ko tanggap yun eh, di ko tanggap naiisip ko pa rin yun. Kinakain ako no'ng ano, e…
na hiwalay na si mama at papa hirap talaga ako baka in the future, gano’n din yung mangyari sa akin.
tanggapin yun. Hangga’t nga maaari noon ayoko Gano’n… sa magiging asawa ko. Ayun yung naging
talagang pinag-uusapan yung ganun.” epekto sa akin kasi parang fresh pa rin sa akin, e.
Nakikita ko kasi talaga sila sa harap talaga namin nag-
Dahyun expressed her sadness, hardly accepting that her
aaway, ganyan. Parang 'pag sa akin na nangyari yun,
parents have separated and avoiding certain situations
na-imagine ko na parang ayaw ko na agad.”
that remind her of it. The same emotion was felt by
Tzuyu every time she encountered a complete family.
In addition, Jisoo stated her side in relation to what Rose
She stated:
had felt regarding her parents’ separation. She feared
“Basta ‘pag mayroon akong nakikitang buong that what happened to her parents might as well happen
to her future family, and she said:
pamilya, nalulungkot lang ako.”
“Madalas po akong mag overthink sa mga bagay-
According to Morin (2021), parental separation causes
bagay kasi syempre parang natatakot po ako na baka
emotional anguish for the entire family, but it can be
frightening, perplexing, and upsetting for children. someday ganito din po iyong ma experience ng
Young children frequently have difficulty magiging family ko, and ayoko po na dumating sa
comprehending why they must go between two homes. ganoong situation.”
Likewise, some young adults in the study have
experienced perplexity since the parental separation. According to HandsOn (n.d.), reactions will differ
This is reflected in Jennie’s statement, saying: depending on the child or young person's age and
developmental stage. Children and young people's
“Nung mga time po na yon eh kinukwestiyon ko yung emotional changes are quite diverse since each
sarili ko ganon tsaka kinukwestiyon ko po kung deserve separation is unique, just as the children and young
ko po ba yon or deserve po ba yon tatay koyon na people are. Some people may become furious and
frustrated. Same with Jennie showed frustration due to
iwanan kami ng ganon.”
her parent's separation. She said:
The participant expressed her perplexity in the
“Nung una po medyo ano po frustrated po talaga kasi
situation, questioning whether she deserved such an
po sudden po eh yung biglaan po yung paghihiwalay
occurrence and if it was worthy of being left by her
father. In addition to the author’s claim, Morin (2021), nila kaya po nagkaroon ng frustration po sa akin.”
teenagers may feel enraged by separation and the
resulting changes. They may hold one parent Aside from frustration due to sudden parental
accountable for the collapse of the marriage or harbor separation, Kwangsoo added another point for being
resentment toward one or both parents for the family’s frustrated by his parent's separation. He emphasized
upheaval. This emotion is reflected in J-Hope’s the responsibility and hardship passed onto him and
response: his siblings after their parents separated. It caused

Research Article
them mainly financial problems and stress. His observed for children whose parents separated or
frustration is reflected in his statement below: divorced versus children whose parents remained
together. One behavioral problem among the
“Yung mga ginawa nilang pagkakamali noong bata participants was their avoidance of their parents or the
bata pa sila kami yung nag susuffer kami ng mga situation. This is reflected in Nayeon’s statement,
saying:
kapatid ko. Ako syempre kapag nakikita kong
nahihirapan yung mga kapatid ko sa ganitong bagay “Siguro ano... yun lang hindi ako nakikipag-
kapos kami financially ang epekto sa akin non syempre communicate talaga sa kanila. Like, hindi ko talaga sila
psychologically nahihirapan ako. Naiistress ako kasi pinapansin kasi ayoko talaga silang makausap. Kasi
maraming times na nagkaklase ako walang padala yung nasa utak ko no’n, once nakausap ko sila, feeling ko
papa ko walang bigay yung mama ko tas nagkaklase hindi maganda yung sasabihin ko kasi nando’n pa rin
ako kailangan ko mag-aral. Magsasabi yung mga naman sa utak ko na magulang ko pa rin sila. So, I have
kapatid ko na, ‘kuya wala na tayong pagkain, kuya, to still respect them kahit anong ginawa nila. So ayun,
wala na tayong ganito eh!’ Minsan, that point, wala hindi lang talaga ako nakikipag-communicate sakanila.
din ako kaya minsan nahihirapan ako kasi bigla ako Tapos, avoidance lang talaga sa lahat ng desisyon nila.
maghahagilap kung saan kami kakain, saan kami Kung may desisyon sila, bahala sila, gano’n.”
kukuha ng pang kain, saan kami kukuha pambayad dito.
” Likewise, Jungkook showed the same behavior by
avoiding himself to open up to his parents. He said:
Another powerful emotion that the participants showed
is envy. Jealousy, which is sometimes prevalent along “So ayun nga, yung behavior hindi ako nag oopen sa
with envy, is distinguished from it (Greenwood, 2016). kanila, hindi ako nag oopen ng problema ko, the word
Envy only involves two individuals and the perception na hindi ako open sa kanila ganun iyong masasabi
that someone is completer than oneself because they
ko.”
possess something one does not. On the other hand,
jealousy incorporates three people and the dread that According to VisiHow (2018), teaching children to
someone else has taken the beloved object rightfully respect their mother or father who has left the house is
theirs. This is reflected in Suga’s statement below: undoubtedly the most crucial. Respect is always
necessary, even though separation is never a positive
“Minsan po naiinggit ako kapag may nakikita kong
example for the children. It is essential to teach the
kumpleto kumakain ganon po yung sa pamilya po. Saka
children that respect is a decision one makes and never
one time po, nakita ko po silang kumakain sabay. Dapat to have terrible thoughts about their parents, much less
ganyan din kami eh! Kumakain din kami ng sabay kaso say anything about it in public. However, parents should
iniwan po kami ganon.” take their children's feelings into account. Given that
their separation is the most stressful and difficult time,
The participant envied those who bond together and they cannot blame their children's inappropriate
have a complete family. Moreover, Jihyo added her behavior on them. It will inevitably lead to melancholy
sentiment regarding being envious of her classmates and loneliness. Parents cannot prevent the child from
who have their parents supporting them in their feeling fear or resentment over the possibility of
academics and school events. She said: separation. Children may act disrespectfully, but
they express their sadness and helplessness during this
“.. tapos nung nagkaisip na wala pala akong ganito challenging time. This is reflected in Rose's response:
ganyan tapos parang nakakainggit sa mga ibang
kaklase ko nung high school. Nakikita ko yung parents “Parang teenager na ako no’n, yung ugali na pinakita
nila kumukuha ng card tapos ako di ako makakuha ng ko, mas naging matigasin na yung ulo ko. I mean,
card kaya pinapasabay na lang sa mga kaklase.” matigas na talaga ulo ko pero no’ng time na yun, mas
lalo. I mean no’ng grade 8, do’n ako natutong
Behavior maglakwatsa. Hindi naman ako totally na
nagrerebelde. Ano lang talaga… yung ugali na
According to Marripedia (n.d.-a), children of separated
pinakita, yun sumasagot-sagot ako, puro ako gala.”
parents are more likely to develop behavioral
difficulties. A study indicates that there is occasionally
no statistical difference in the behavioral problems

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J-Hope also showed such a behavior, being hostile and displeasure. Family ties may break down as a result, or
disrespectful, towards his parents. He said: you may engage in violent conduct like shouting and
offending those around you. As Rose shared:
“Siguro ano, mas naging maldito ako towards them.
"Sa magulang, iyon talaga. Mas naging ano ako talaga,
Like, kaunting tanong lang naiinis na ako sa kanila.
basag-ulo."
Kasi parang ayoko na talaga silang kausap kapag
ganun, kasi everytime na kausap ko sila kahit Grandparents, relatives, close family members,
irrelevant naman dun sa issue nung family parang instructors, and other school personnel are all familiar
naiisip ko na nandun pa din sa hiwalayan nila.” adult caregivers in a child's life. Each may play a role in
assisting children and adolescents as they cope with the
The possible reason behind a behavior like this was family transition. They can offer children and young
explained in an article by Hurd (2018). She said parents' people protection and support, helping them feel
relationship issues affect children of divorced parents as competent and in charge and uphold standards and
they tend to relate similar problems to their consistent discipline (Phillips, 2016). Just like Jin
relationships, recalling their parents' suffering, which experienced with his relatives despite his parents'
ended in a crumbled marriage. Even when a separation.
relationship is going well, a child of divorced parents
may perceive imagined issues. These issues can “Ahmm… sa kamag-anak normal lang maayos naman
occasionally be little more than illusions and may result kami pinalaki kasi yung tita ko medyo strict niya eh kaya
in a rift between partners. One of the participants in a okay naman hindi kami naligaw ng landas.”
relationship admitted how she tends to behave, causing
an argument with her partner. Tzuyu shared: Jennie also stated that her parents’ separation also led
her to be close to her relatives.
“Sa una, okay kami pero habang tumatagal,
lumalabas yung ugali. Parang ganun din, nag-aaway “Ahmm… sa kamag-anak po ano eh sila po yung naging
kami. Yung parang sinasagot-sagot ko at inaaway- sandalan ko nung mga time na yon so mas naging close
away ko. Basta kung ano yung ugali ko sa bahay,gano’n po kami nung nangyari po yon.”
din.”
According to the Department of Justice Canada(2017),
In addition to being hostile and disrespectful to adolescents are much less dependent on their families.
separated parents, the study found some participants Therefore, the separation appears to be less harmful to
who also appeared apathetic towards their parents. This them. Furthermore, it does not affect their relationship
is reflected in Jennie’s response, saying: with their family and relatives. As Jisoo stated, her
parents' separation does not affect her relationship with
“Syempre po ano naging cold po yung pakikitungo po her relatives; she still treats them respectfully.
talaga tapos po yung mga fondness po nila hindi ko po
talaga na a-appreciate parang kapag may ginawa po “Ahhh sa kamag anak ko naman po ganoon din po. Kasi
sila para sa akin parang wala lang po yon ganon po.” sila po iyong nagkukwento eh na ganito iyong parents
mo before na ganito iyong daddy mo. Kumbaga
It is also reflected on Tzuyu’s brief answer, saying: kung ano po iyong sinasabi nila pinapakinggan ko
lang po, pero kung yung behavioror kung paano ko
“Ayun, yung pagsagot-sagot tapos yung pagiging sila pakitunguhan nandoon pa dinpo iyong respeto.”
walang pakialam.”
Jungkook also supports this claim as he states:
Separation is not a process only couples go through
(Çetinkaya & Erçin, 2015). Since children are present “Sa mga kamag-anak naman this time normal lang
in most separated families, separation is also a siya. Parang we are just acting like walang
significant event for the child. It is noted that a nangyaring hiwalayan ganun. Kasi ang awkward lang
separation may result in several changes that could kasi kapag kunwari magkakasama kami ng kapatid ni
harm the child. mama, tapos kapatid din ng papa ko in both sides. Ang
awkward pag usapan ang ganyang klase ng bagay na
Deveraux (2019) claimed that parental separation could
result in undesirable behavior, particularly in young
adults who frequently deal with intense parental

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parang samin-samin na lang dapat ng parents namin. kanila tapos kapag may problema sila kapag
So, kung dun sa behavior naman, wala, this time normal kailangan nila ng katabi or karamay pupuntahan ko sila
lang iyong pakikitungo ko sa kanila. Kasi wala naman kahit gabi pa yan. ”
dapat ibahin or baguhin towards may kamag anak so
Another participant, Jungkook, on the other hand, was
ayun for me normal lang siya.”
the only participant to express how fortunate his friends
were to have a complete family. For this reason, he
Jimin also experienced the same thing regarding his
advises his friends to cherish the moments with the
relationship with his relatives, as he stated:
family. As he stated,
“Sa mga kamag-anak ko... kaunti lang naman mga ka-
“Ayun, kasi sa mga friends ko ako lang iyong may
close ko. And mostly naman, halos lahat sila gano’n
broken family the rest puro alam mo yun ang sasaya,
pa rin naman. Madali pa rin naman kausap, magaan pa
kumpleto na, minsan nga nandudun iyong lola at lolo
rin naman kausap, gano’n. Wala namang
nila kumbaga extended family tawag dito sa pinas.
pagbabago.”
Towards them, lagi kong sinasabi sa kanila na
Reactions can also differ over time. Children may sobrang swerte nila, lagi kong sinasabi sa kanila na
refuse to realize that the separation or divorce is genuine hindi ko maitatanggi na minsan sinabi ko na naiinggit
or permanent, believing their parents must reconcile. ako sa kanila. Parang sabi ko isave nila yung mga
They may eventually understand that despite their hard ganung moments together with their family, kasi ang
work, they cannot make it happen. Despite this sarap ispend ang time kapag buo ang family mo na
emotional roller coaster, research shows that most talagang never kong naranasan. Lagi kong sinasabi sa
children finally accept their parents' separation or kanila na napaka swerte nila na talagang ikeep nila
divorce and adjust to their new family system (Public yung mga ganung moments kasi mahirap, sobrang
Legal Education Association of Saskatchewan, n.d.).
hirap kapag broken family ka.”
Rose, another participant, said that her parents'
As for the other participants, they shared that they
separation made her distant from her relatives. As she
become more open when their friends are with them.
stated:
Rosè, one of the participants, shared her main reason for
“Sa relatives naman, no’ng maghiwalay parents ko, feeling comfortable expressing and saying things to her
friends.
medyo lumayo loob ko and gano’n din sa mga pinsan
ko, sa tito ko, hindi ko na sila masyadong kinakausap. “Ayun, sa kaibigan naman, mas nag-o-open ako do’n
Thinking ko no’n, parang hinayaan, lalo na sa mga sa mga alam akong maiintindihan ako. Mas gusto ko
tito ko, o kaya sa mga lolo’t lola ko na kung bakit nila talaga na sila yung kasama ko talaga.”
hinayaan na gano’n.”
Likewise, this is reflected on Dahyun’s response:
Also, Jihyo said that sometimes she feels
uncomfortable when she talks with some of her “Sa kaibigan, yung nabuo kong pag uugali mas malapit
relatives. ako sa mga kaibigan. Kasi ano eh, sila yung mas
nakakasama ko eh. Mas open ako sa kanila ganun.”
“Hmm, sa kamag anak naman po medyo ano lang
merong ilangan ganun sa ibang side pero sa side Compared to other participants, Nayeon was the only
naman ng mother ko since dito naman siya nag stay or participant who expressed and shared how she limits
dito ako sa side niya nag stay, wala naman pong herself to showing love to her friends. Nayeon shared:
nagbago.”
“Siguro ano lang, negative side sa mga kaibigan is
Regarding friends, some participants expressed how parang super limit lang ng mga actions ko sa kanila,
willing they are to help and spare time for their friends. like, showing how I love them. Parang hindi gano’n ka-
That way, they got closer and more connected as showy as the others na may effort na ganito, may effort
friends. Jin shared:
na gan’yan. Ako kasi, yung way of showing love to my
“Minsan lang ako magkwento sa kanila. Kasi hindi friends is parang through actions talaga na medyo
naman ako natutong mag share ng mag share ng mga tough love, gano’n.”
nararamdaman ko. Bali ako nalang yung nakikinig sa

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relationship their parents had. Jennie is one of the

participants who think that some people get into a
Just at home, children's cognition may be influenced or relationship because it is convenient for them. Here is
driven by their families, typically their parents. In cases her statement:
where the parents are separated, children's cognitive
development is affected by the emotionaltrauma from “Siguro po perspective ko sa love hindi po sa life. Ano
the given situation (Perez, 2021). Parent separation is po nabuo po yung thought na ano some people are
difficult for a child to understand, but it causes trauma. together not because they love each other but because
As Jennie said, it is convenient with them po. Yung nga po na parang
it doesn't matter kung may responsibilities na may
“ S i g u r o po y u n g a n o [ s e p a r a t i o n of parents] naiiwan ganon po.”
traumatizing po talaga siya ayun po always… Hindi rin
po agad maintindihan yung sitwasyon since bata pa nga One of the bitter realizations from the participants that
po, ganon.” cannot be argued is that nothing lasts forever. Such as
the known quotation from Heraclitus, "The only thing
At a young age, children might not be able to constant is change." After separating these
understand the separation of their parents yet. participants' parents, their eyes opened to this thinking.
However, for children with separated parents, their See it in Jungkook's statement:
parents' emotional changes and absence is easy to
interpret. This event in a child's life would mean “Realization ko dun, wala talagang forever. Yung
abandonment to them. Furthermore, the environment realization ko dun there is no permanent in this world.
this parental separation created has stolen the security Lahat nawawala, lahat nagbabago, lahat nasisira, kahit
children need and would significantly result in sabihin mo na sobrang tatag nung relationship nung
psychological consequences (Exploring Your Mind, dalawang taong yan. Hindi pa din mawawala parang
2021). Parents might not be aware, but their children are
darating at darating pa din sa punto na maghihirap,
mostly affected by the chaos rendered by their
magkakaroon ng struggle, dadating sa point na
separation. Children of separated parents cannot do
anything but seek the presence of their parents; as mawawala.”
Jungkook said,
Another realization of the participants is that there is
“…ang pananaw ko bilang isang anak at bilang isang no perfect family. A story that the participants canrelate
to is the story of Elisa Morgan. Her parents are
product ng broken family, napaka-selfish. Iyon ang
separated. She said that life is not perfect, and so are
masasabi ko, ang selfish kasi alam mo yun iniisip lang
families. Beyond the circumstances in her life, she is
nila ‘yong sarili nila, ‘yong sariling kapakanan nila,
determined to have an intact family (Morgan, 2014).
hindi nila iniisip ang pwedeng epekto bilang isanganak, Here is Kwangsoo's statement about family:
lalo na sa aming mga product ng broken family. Hindi
nila alam kung gaano kahirap ang buhay ng isang anak “Ang naging realization ko na parang there's no perfect
na hindi nakakasama ang nanay at tatay, so, parang sa family I mean kahit man kayo eh! Although buo kayo or
akin ang selfish ng dating lang sa akin. Bakit kailangan broken lahat ng pamilya walang perpekto may times na
maghiwalay? Hindi ba parang hindi niyo ba alam yung nag aaway kayo diyan or problema ayun. Pero ayun din
trauma na maibibigay niyo sa mga anak niyo? Like, family is important talaga walang perfect family pero
dumating nga sa point na nasaan papa ko, nasaan family is important kasi nga yung family ko may mga
mama ko gano’n...” times na hirap na hirap nako sukong suko nako pero
kapag nakikita ko sila parang narealize ko na kailangan
Being in a love relationship and a convenient ako ng mga kapatid ko.Kailangan ako ng mga to gusto
relationship are different. In a convenient relationship,
ko pa silang bigyan ng magandang buhay na hindi
couples believe that it is better to have someone as a
naibigay sa amin ng mga magulang namin.”
companion than to have an emotional and deep
attachment towards them. The problem with
In her article, Zacharias (2020) mentions that
convenient love is when the couple is no longer satisfied
Pickhardt's article on Psychology Today explores the
with their current status and wants more, and then there
age-related differences in responses and why teens are
the relationship starts to fall apart (Pace, 2020a). Love
more likely to develop greater independence. Older
and convenience are different in that children can
formulate ideas of what kind of

Research Article
children are already testing the waters of being apart ginagawa yung anak, e.”
from their parents more frequently. Pickhardt also said
Jihyo, one of the participants, quietly shared the same
that dependent-minded adolescents tend to deal with
thoughts about how she handled and accepted the
divorce more aggressively. They often react
situation. She stated:
rebelliously and disregard family discipline, taking care
of themselves as their parents failed to do so. Stated
“Ang ginawa ko na lang eh parang tinanggap ko na
below is Dahyun's realization:
lang na yun naman na ang nangyari. Di ko na siya
“Realization ko ano, mas nakilala ng mga tao bilang mababago. Di ko naman na mapipilit ang parents ko
fierce. Ang lakas daw ng loob ko, matapang ganyan, dahil may another family naman na and yung part
kumbaga binuilt ko yung sarili ko sa ganun. Kasi siguro na ginawa ko is acceptance talaga saka yung
kailangan ko maging ganun, kasi wala naman akong pagiging strong na lang din para ma overcome koyung
sandalan na magulang eh na foundation ko. Kaya ako kung ano ang dinala nung experience na yun sakin.”
sa sarili ko ang nag built na kailangan maging matatag
Some participants talked about how the circumstances
ako sa buhay.”
put them to the test. They felt a sense of responsibility
early because of their parent's separation. Nayeon
Everyone desires a happy marriage that lasts.
shared:
Everyone wants to succeed in life, and a happy
marriage is undoubtedly a significant factor in “Everything starts from yourself naman, e, so if yung
achieving certain levels of success. At some points, the
mindset ko ngayon is parang mature na for my age at
person that one loves the most or who initially loves one
22, tapos lagi nilang sinasabi mindset ko raw parang
may not always be the right partner. Relationship
26. Through that, I act as someone na mature and
experts concur that love alone will never be enough to
ensure a successful union. There must be a high level adult talaga na kasi doon na ako namulat at an early
of sexual and interpersonal compatibility between age. Doon na ako nagkaroon ng vague view in life.”
partners for a relationship to be happy and lasting
(Mangubat, 2022). One of the participants also It is almost the same as what RM experienced, where he
realized that choosing a suitable partner is very had the responsibility early on to provide for his family.
significant in marriage. Here are V's sentiments: He shared:
“Dapat kapag po nagkakaroon ng family po, dapat po “...pero nung goods pa, ako yung ano nagpoprovide
talaga sure sa magiging partner. Ano po kasi yun, e, din. Nag working student akong nung senior high ako.
dadalhin mo po yun hanggang sa pagtanda. Once na Tapos naisip ko na hindi namin kayang dalawa na,
maling tao po yung nakasama niyo po, syempre dapat dalawa kasi kaming magkapatid na parehas na
una pa lang, hindi na ituloy. Late mo na mar-realize pinapaaral, so napagtanto ko na hindi namin kaya so
yung gano’n, saka ka pa lang magsisisi.” nag decide ako na titigil na lang ako tapos yung
kapa tid ko na lang ang mag aaral. Tapos
Adapting to the Circumstances magtatrabaho na lang ako para makatulong sa
pamumuhay namin ganun.”
Acceptance entails fully recognizing the realities of a
situation and letting go of the idea that things ought to Despite everything, some participants shared that their
be different (Sharp Health News, 2021). This mindset situation was a way to prove to themselves that they
enables Rose to let go of judgmental thoughts andaccept could live independently. As Jin, one of the
and forgive. As she said, participants, confidently said:
“...tinanggap ko yung sitwasyon namin ngayon. The “...ang nasa mindset ko lang non na ano hindi konaman
more kasi na hindi ko tinatanggap, baka ngayon dala- kailangan ng kasama yun lang yung coping mechanism
dala ko pa rin. Baka hanggang ngayon may sama pa rin ko na hindi ko sila kailangan. Tapos iniisipko lang na
ako ng loob. Tinanggap ko yun sa sarili at lahat kaya kong gawin depende sakin kung gusto ko yun
pinatawad both sides. Dahil kahit sino man sa lang yung coping mechanism ko lagi. Kaya nga ako nag
kanilang dalawa, parehas may pagkakamali. ano eh! Kumuha ng mga part time job or trabaho para
Naniniwala rin kasi ako na yung paghihiwalay ng lang mapatunayan ko na hindi ko
magulang, labas doon yung anak kasi wala namang

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kailangan ng kasama.” Rosè, one of the participants, did not let her parents'
separation stay in her mind. She chose not to entertain
Another participant, Jungkook, shared his experience it. As she said:
of how, despite his parent's separation, he used the
“Hindi ko siya hinayaan mag-stay sa isip ko kasi hindi
circumstance as inspiration to achieve his life goals.
lang naman doon natatapos yung pwedeng problema na
As a response, this made him become an independent
person. Jungkook shared: dumaan, e. May mga problema pa na dadaan after
noong paghihiwalay nila. ”
“Bilang isang kabataan iyong naging hiwalayan ng
parents ko yun yung naging inspirasyon ko eh. Eto Jisoo, on the other hand, stated that crying was how
she used to feel better about what happened to her
iyong naging inspirasyon ko para may mapatunayan
parents.
and lumaking hindi gawin yung same na ginawa nila.
Gaya nga ng sabi ko kanina may mararating ako kahit “Ayon nga po gaya po ng sinabi ko kanina talagang
hindi ko kasama yung dalawang magulang ko, may iniiyak ko lang po siya para po gumaan-gaan iyong
maipapakita ako sa kanila kahit na hindi buo iyong pakiramdam ko kapag po naiisip ko.”
guide na dapat binibigay ng isang ama at ng isang
ina. nasabi ko eh matutupad lahat ng pangarap ko Another participant, Jennie, spoke about how reading
actually malapit na nga eh kasi graduating na. Ayun books had shaped her mindset. She stated:
nga hindi humihingi ng kahit na anong tulong sa
“Siguro po ano that time po kasi doon po ako nahilig
kanilang dalawa until now. Kaya from the word
po talaga sa mga books po na motivation al po yun
independent talaga ako. Yun lang ang masasabi ko.”
nga po napulot ko po don yung mindset na meron po
The other participants' way of handling the situation is ako ngayon.”
different. Due to their parents' separation, they focused
more on their studies. Jimin, a participant, said that he If Jennie got help by reading books, the other
participant, Jihyo, got help from other people’s
focused more on himself and his studies.
perspectives. He said:
“Sumipag ako sa pag-aaral. Kasi siguro before,
“...yung pag open up sa iba, like naka help din na nag
sobrang stressed ko kase sa nangyayari. Ang then,
shashare tapos maririnig mo yung side nila na ok lang
simula nong nawala nga, naka-focus na ako sa kung
yan ganun na hindi naman lahat ng tao maganda yung
ano yung gusto kong gawin kasi parang wala ka ng
family, na may tao talaga na parang hindi nagingswerte
masyadong iisipin. Mas iisipin mo nalang kung ano
sa family ganun. Dun siya naka help.”
yung gusto mong mangyari sa sarili mo.”
Of all the participants, Nayeon had the most heart-
In line with what J-Hope stated, touching experience shared. She talked about how
effective prayer is for her and how it helped her get
“Ahhh, isa sa naging focus ko talaga that time is yung
through difficulties. She shared:
study ko, sa school ganiyan. Talagang ginalingan kong
mag aral tas sinabayan na din ng kaunting gala.” “Mahirap. No’ng time kasi na nandoon na ako sapoint
na parang ayoko na, doon na ako nagkaroon ng view
There are various circumstances in life that peoplemight pa kay God kasi yun yung first time na nag-pray ako.
categorize as challenging (Paudyal, 2016). One such Sabi ko, God, ayoko na. Kunin mo na ako, ganon. Ayun
challenging circumstance is the separation of parents.
yung prayer ko non. But then, ang expect ko kase non sa
Being ready, facing it, and engaging with itare wise
Kunin mo na ako, kunin mo na ako is mamatay ako. But
actions.
what he did is he saved me. He saved me from all the
Overcoming Struggles burdens, all the hatred, all the anger that Ihave. ”
Witnessing a parental separation can be traumatic at any Regarding the social aspect, some participants, like
age (HelpGuide Organization, n.d.). Struggles in Rose, revealed how her friends supported her with no
parental separation can be overcome in any aspect,such harsh judgments as she struggled with parental
as psychological and social. Psychologically, separation. As she stated:

Research Article
“Sa kaibigan ko that time, high school ako nong difficulties. He behaved in a way that made other people
feel like members of his own family.
na ghiwala y sila. So, marami kami and sa
pagkakatanda ko, kapag medyo nabibigatan ako, yung “Like from I said earlier di ba sabi ko naiinggit ako sa
mga kaibigan ko talaga yung nasasabihan ko. Doon kanila ganun kasi kumpleto iyong family nila. Ang
lang sa kanila ako naging open talaga. Naiintindihan ginawa ko iyong family nila tinuturing ko na ding
din naman nila yun. Kumbaga wala akong thoughts na
pamilya which is ganun din ang turing sa akin ng mga
baka i-judge ako. Kapag sila naman yung may
pamilya nila. So, feeling ko sila na rin iyong nanay ko,
problema, sinasabi rin naman nila sa akin. Kumbaga
sila na rin yung tatay ko. And sabi ko ayun dun ko
parang give and take lang talaga.”
nacope up na kahit hindi mo pala kadugo pwede mong
maging magulang. ”
The same goes for Jimin. He also shared how his friends
were there for him and completely understood his
Each participant has a unique approach to dealing with
situation.
struggles associated with parental separation. The
“Lahat sila naintindihan naman nila kung ano yung positive side to this is that dealing with life's struggles
frequently necessitates collaboration with others or, at
situation ko before. And mostly naman kasi, parang
the very least, enlisting their support (Ware, n.d.).
similar lang naman yung situation namin though sa
kanila hindi broken pero magulo tas ganon din, away- Modification of Developed Behaviors Towards
away. Normal lang sa kanila yung ganon. Sa amin, Loved Ones
parang naintindihan naman nila na ganon talaga yung
sitwasyon ko…” Giving up hatred and ideas of vengeance is necessary
for forgiving people (Mayo Clinic Staff, 2020).
Despite what happened to his family, another Forgiveness is one of the coping mechanisms used by
participant, RM, still treated other people well. RM some of the participants. Nayeon, one of the
stated: participants, shared her experience about how she was
able to forgive her father. Nayeon stated:
“Sa pakikipagkapwa naman tinitreat ko yung mga tao
na napakahalaga nila na parang kahit anong estado “Yung binago ko is forgiving talaga, like hindi ko
nila sa buhay deserve po nila na pahalagahan. Kasi naman kasi siya makakausap kung hindi ko siya
pare parehas lang din naman tayo na tao so kung ano pinatawad. Hindi rin naman kami magkakaroon ng
yung deserve nung isa deserve po ng lahat.” maayos na relationship ngayon kung hindi ko siya
finorgive. Ayun, like, it’s still in the process of building
Compared to RM, Nayeon, another participant, shared the bond na ini-expect niya kasi hindi ko pa kayang
that until now, she still struggles in her social life.
ibigay yun sa kanya. So, I'm still putting myself in the
However, as she said, she is doing her best to be
process, e, so ayun, just forgive and one step at a time.”
outgoing. This is what she said:
Jungkook, another participant, also shared his
“Hanggang ngayon nags-struggle pa rin ako
experience of modifying his behaviors toward his
pagdating sa social life. But I am trying my best to be
parents. He stated:
more outgoing person kasi may mga tendency na nag-
i-isolate ako. Hindi ako nagc-chat sa mga friends ko, “...this time ano parang ni lugar ko iyong ugali ko
ganon. Ina-avoid ko talaga lahat ng way ng base sa sitwasyon ko ngayon and sa edad ko parang
communication. How I deal with it is parang be more mas tiningnan ko iyong utang na loob sa kanila. Kasi
outgoing, na balance lang. If I need isolation, sige give kung wala sila wala rin ako dito. Kasi kahit malaki yung
it to myself but then, dont overdue isolation kasi hindi pagkakamali nung parents ko sa sarili ko hindipa din
rin siya healthy. Tapos, I make time na kahit call, maaalis iyong pagmamahal, respeto, tsaka utang na
through call, through ganitong meeting with my friends, loob talaga. Kaya sabi ko eh magbalik loob, ibalik ang
ginagawa ko para ma-practice yung socialskills ko.” nararapat na para sa kanila kasi kahit bali- baliktarin
mo ang mundo parents ko pa din sila athindi na
Jungkook, another participant, expressed a very
magbabago iyon.”
inspiring experience about overcoming his social

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The same goes with J-Hope, who quite shared thesame When it comes to friends, most participants expressed
response. Like Jungkook, he still chose to show respect how happy they are with their friends. According to
to both of his parents despite being separated. Jungkook, one of the participants excitedly shared how
he and his friends are on good terms, especially now that
“Ahhh mas ipinapakita ko na respectful ako sa kanila, they are becoming more mature when it comes to things.
ipinapakita ko na okay kahit hindi naman okay.
“...Siguro this time mas umokay, mas good yung
Ipinapakita ko na lang sa kanila na at some point
relationship namin ng mga kaibigan ko kasi like what i
mabuti pa din akong anak sa kanila.”
said na sa tamang edad na rin kami parang mas
nakikita na namin yung mga kahalagahan ng bawat
Another participant, Jennie, expressed herself as
someone who is trying to be more understanding since, bagay specially family and also syempre alam naman
according to her, her parents were still trying to be better na namin yung mga tama at mali at yung mga bagay
despite being separated. na dapat gawin sa hindi.”
“Ahm… ano po I’ll try to understand them more po Another participant, Jin, talked about how willing he is
tapos yung mga ginagawa nila sa akin tinatanggap ko to spare time, especially for his friends who are in the
na lang din po willingly since nag eeffort naman po same situation.
silang maging better.”
“Ang ginagawa ko ako naman nakikinig sa kanila para
kung maranasan nila yung nararanasan ko atelast may
To continue, the participants variously shared their
kaagapay sila nandito ako para sa kanila. Kasi kung
experiences with their relatives. Jungkook shared that
now that he is already at the right age, he is getting more ibang tao yon tapos mahina yung loob mo feeling ko
open to discussing his parents' separation from his maliligaw sila ng landas kung wala silang gabay. Ayoko
relatives. He believes he will know the reason behind non kaya nandito ako para sa kanila.”
his parents' separation through his relatives.
Moreover, Nayeon, one of the participants, also shared
“Sa kamag-anak naman, siguro dahil nga tumatanda na that she wants her friends to feel love, gratitude, and
din ako mas nagiging open na ako sa kanila kumpara care as much as she can. She stated:
sa sinabi ko kanina na nung medyo bata-bata pa ako
“So, parang I'm putting myself in a position na do
ayokong pag usapan iyong mga ganung bagay kasama
whatever you can to show the love to everyone nahindi
sila kasi parang ang unusual and awkward. Etong na sa
lang siya limited. As much as I can, kung may naiisip
tamang edad na ako, this time na siguro yung matanong
man akong way to show love, gratitude, and care to
ko pa sila, mas maging malapit pa iyong loob ko sa
them, binibigay ko yun sa kanila.”
kanila kasi kahit papaano may alam iyong mga kamag-
anak ko sa hiwalayan ng magulang ko and ayaw lang Most participants in this study revealed that they have
nila sabihin sa akin nung time na iyon. ” significant others. Some of them shared that after
witnessing how their significant other gets angry, he
Aside from Jungkook, Nayeon, another participant, changed and became better. J-Hope shared:
shared how to stand up when expressing an opinion to
her relatives, especially when she knows she is right. “Kasi dati mainitin ang ulo ko talaga kahit walang
Nayeon stated: reason at all naiinis ako sa kanya. Nabago lang yun one
time nung na galit na siya. Kasi cm beses langsiya
“Tapos ayun, pagdating naman sa kamag-anak, kapag na galit kaya medyo natakot ako. After nung situation
may certain view or point of view kasi gaya ng na yun mas naging romantic ako ganun, like kung ano
sinasabi ko kanina na nahihirapan ako makipag- yung ginagawa ko sa friends ko ginagawa ko din sa
communicate sa kanila when it comes to my opinion so kaniya everytime na magmi meetup kami. Minsan ako
kapag may nakikita akong mali talaga na alam kong yung gumagastos para lang mabawi ko yung mga
mali, sinasabi ko talaga sa kanila na okay lang magalit wrong doings ko sa kanya.”
sila basta I’m telling them what is not right. Kung hindi
ko yun sinabi, baka hindi magkaroon ng changes, diba? RM, one of the participants, talked deeply about the
So ayun.” importance of respect in a relationship. He said:

Research Article
“...sa karelasyon kailangan nating respetuhin ang gumaan ang situation kasi kung parang titignan mo
partner natin. 'Wag natin siyang pilitin sa kung anong lang siya as negative, mag fofocus ka lang sa negative
ayaw or gusto niya dapat ano bigyan natin siya ng na nangyari or negative na naganap related dun.
kalayaan. Hindi yung puro pansarili lang natin ang Parang di mo kasi maaappreciate yung mga good
iniisip kailangan hindi tayo bias.” things na nangyari saka di mo marealize na may good
things naman palang nangyari sakin ganun saka
Another participant, Nayeon, still shared her thoughts marami kang mamimiss na opportunity kapag
about having a relationship even though she did not talagang magbase ka lang sa nangyaring yun eh.”
have a significant other. Nayeon stated:
Moreover, the optimism one participant, Jin, shows is
“Hindi ko pa rin kasi masabi kasi parang nandoon pa quite impressive. Instead of being sad or depressed
ako sa position, like, actually, kahapon lang, kakaisip because of the situation, he took it as his opportunity
ko lang about sa relationship. Parang hindi pa talaga to learn other skills. He shared:
ako ready. So, siguro ang positive lang talaga na
“Ah… ano una natutuo ano ng mga skills na ano
masasabi ko is waiting for the right man na alam mo
yun, tatanggapin yung lahat ng traumas ko kasi kinakailangan para mabuhay ka. Kunwari diba yung
syempre as a partner, you have to accept and respect all tatay mo nagtatrabaho para sayo sila yung nag iisip
the traumas that the other person has, na hindi mo kung ano yung mga gagawin sa bahay. Nag aral ako
dapat ini-invalid yun kasi hindi yun mawawala sa isang ng mga tech vocational skills kaya lahat ng skills
tao na porket ilang years na ang nakalipas, hindi yun natutunan ko kaya ko matutunan dumiskarte
mawawala agad sa isang tao. For my future partner, he nakakapag isip ako ng maayos kung sakaling
has to respect and validate all the traumas that I had.” magkaroon ng problema.”
When faced with difficult situations, being surrounded Kwangsoo, another participant, talked about how he
by people with whom one can share both positive and eased the situation by being generous and a loving
negative moments can also help one control their levels eldest brother to his siblings. He shared:
of stress and anxiety (RAQ, n.d.). The majority of the
“Ginagawa ko para mapagaan parang ano yung mga
participants' relationships with their loved ones had a
significant impact on their well-being. kailangan ng mga kapatid ko attention, paghahatid
sundo, bumibili ng mga kailangan nila yung mga
Essence of Optimism sakripisyo ko kasi nga ano kumukuha ako ng peradahil
sa scholarship ko ganun binibili ko ng mga kailangan
Challenging times inevitably occur. However, namin dito. Ayun kapag nagkakapera akong maliit
individuals can take action to mitigate them a little binibili ko ng pagkain namin ayun kapag nagkakapera
(Wardleigh, 2019). Most participants expressed and
ako pinapaayos ko yung bahay namin. Tapos ayun
shared how optimistic they were despite the situation.
inaano na magbond kami ganon para kahit broken
Jungkook, one of the participants, shows his optimism
by accepting the situation wholeheartedly. Jungkook family kami mafeel nila na normal kami parang kapag
said: may kailangan kayo sabihin niyo nalang sa akin
ganyan.”
“Iyong mapabuti ang sitwasyon isa lang ang ginawa ko
eh yun yung tanggapin ang katotohanan. Na yung It is also somewhat similar to how J-Hope made light of
pangarap ko na buong pamilya hinding hindi na siya the situation. He made his siblings feel their connection
babalik sa dati like sobrang labong mangyari ulit. Alam was still not lost by visiting both sides.
mo yun para ma cope up ko yung ganung feeling mas
“Napapagaan ko na lang yun kapag dumadalaw kami
tinanggap ko na forever na akong ganito. ”
sa kanila in both parties. Ipinapakita ko and my other
siblings na ah kumbaga connected pa din kami sakanila
Also, Jihyo, another participant, expressed the same
thoughts. kahit separate na ganun. Dalaw, and konting kain sa
labas.”
“Yun nga, yung nabanggit ko din kanina is yung
acceptance talaga. Yun yung parang key factor para In challenging situations, having faith can help
individuals experience calmness in God's presence

Research Article
(GCU, 2021). As an effect, it is not surprising that this dradrain ko na sila kaya talagang kailangan mo ring
is one of Nayeon's most effective strategies. one of the ibuild yung sarili mo ng ikaw lang eh kasi kung
participants eased the situation. She shared: magbase ka lang sa kanila, parang ma stress mo na sila.
Walang mangyayari. Paano kapag naubos na rin sila?
“Just obeying to God kasi nga its the first time that I Wala ka na malalapitan.”
prayed nga na doon ko talaga naramdaman na may
hope yung family. So, hindi ko talaga siya kaya kung Jisoo, another participant, talked about entering a
iisipin ko sarili ko lang as my own capabilities, hindi ko relationship. She learned that those things should not
talaga siya kaya. Siguro kung hindi ako sinave ni God, be rushed, so there are no regrets. As she said,
baka hindi ko pa naf-forgive yung family ko ngayon,
“Ano po na hindi po dapat tayo nagmamadali sa mga
baka nandoon pa rin yung anger at hatred.So, ayun,
ganung bagay-bagay kasi po nung nakabuo po sila,
just obey God kasi God will give a lot of visions and a
bata pa po sila kaya parang naiisip po nila na kaya
way of communicating to you na parang doon niya
ganito po iyong daddy ko kasi feel niya kinuha sakanya
sasagutin lahat ng struggles mo. Yung mga ganong
iyong kabataan niya. Kumbaga hindi po dapat
moments na parang ask God, seek, tapos ayun, just obey
minamadali iyong ganyang bagay para wala po tayong
what he says basta alam mo na si God yun.”
pagsisisi sa huli.”
Lessons Learned from the Situation
Similar to the participant's response, V. He points out
In life, people experience challenges and downfalls. the importance of being sure, especially when
Difficulties and setbacks push them down, and they choosing a partner before committing to a relationship.
occasionally experience demotivation and depression. V stated:
The truth is that those situations help them grow and
impart important life lessons (Patil, 2018). Jungkook, “Ayun nga po, ano... yung about po sa family kasi
one of the participants and one of those who will prove once na pinasok mo po yun, dapat sure na sure ka po
that his parents' separation is why he is as strong as a talaga sa magiging partner mo. Kasi pangit po yung
person today. He shared: magiging kakalabasan, e, sa magiging anak. Marami
pong pangit na mangyayari. Nandoon na po yung
“Yung lesson para sa akin na nakuha ko sa hiwalayan bullying, ganon. Kaya mas mabuti pong goods po yung
ng magulang ko is "You should learn how to be magiging partner mo. Ayun po.”
independent and you should learn how to stand on
your own". Yun yung natutunan ko na until now To proceed, J-Hope, one of the participants, shared
pinanghahawakan ko and inaapply ko sa sarili ko.Kasi two important lessons he learned from his parent's
kung hindi rin naghiwalay ang parents ko hindi ako separation. First, he shared:
magiging independent ng ganito, hindi ko gagawin
yung mga bagay na like work, gigs, yung mgabagay na “Never make decisions when anger is raging inside
nakapag support sa akin in terms of financialing. you.”
Through this mas naging strong ako kasi walang ibang
He added:
taong magpapalakas sa akin talaga kung hindi sarili ko
lang.” “...kapag masyado ng problematic ang dalawang tao
mas naiisip ko ng maghiwalay na lang sila kasi mas
In line with Jungkook's response, Jihyo, another
napapabuti nila yung situation nilang dalawa as peace
participant, also shared how he learned to stand on his
own and became strong as a person. Because of his of mind para na din dun sa ibang tao na included sa
parent's separation, he also shared that he has become kanila. Yun lang.”
sensitive to the feelings of the people around him. He
stated: J-Hope's second lesson is somewhat related to what
Sana, another participant, learned. She thinks some
“Ang pinakanatutunan ko siguro, pagiging strong saka situations should not be forced to work out for the
pagiging yung maging ano ka sa sarili mo kasi wala best. Sana shared:
kang malalapitan eh. Pag times na wala ka namang ano
“Hmmmm ang natutunan ko sa kanila somehow is na
kasi meron ding time na sabi ako nang sabi sa mga
may mga bagay talaga na hindi na ipinipilit pa. Kasi
kaibigan ko tapos parang feeling ko na

Research Article
nung nagkita kami na tatay ko sinasabi niya po sa akin

na gusto niya makipagbalikan sa mama ko then sinabi envy. Some of them displayed inappropriate behaviors
ko naman pero sabi ng mama ko ayaw na niya. So, ako towards social relationships, such as avoidant,
naman nirerespeto ko ang gusto ng mama ko. Kaya apathetic, disrespectful, and violent behaviors. (3)
Most young adults, primarily males, coped mostly
natutunan ko na huwag ng ipilit ang matagal ng tapos
through acceptance and forgiveness, social support,
na. Kasi yung mama ko naka move on na, hindi na
positive changes, optimism, and lessons from the
niya iniisip iyong silang dalawa ang iniisip niya na lang situation.
yung ikabubuti namin.”
It is recommended that people surrounding the young
Other participants, like Nayeon, shared how important adults, like their relatives, teachers, and friends,
it is to forgive and accept the situation. Nayeon said, establish healthy interactions that foster a sense of
belonging and significance and assure emotional,
“Marami kasi pero ang main lesson is forgive talaga. physical, and identity safety by providing a supportive
Like, oo, nandoon yung term na forgive and forget, but environment. Quality parenting includes giving each
you can’t forget, e, so you have to forgive and accept. child one-on-one time, acknowledging their strengths,
Forgive and accept what happened. Forgive to theother reinforcing positive behaviors, listening without
person kasi God will forgive them if you forgive the judgment, accepting conflicting emotions, reflecting
other person. Ganon yun. If you forgive them, God will understanding, connecting words to emotional
forgive din, and they will set free din. So, ayun lang responses, allowing silence, and giving children space
talaga. Just lean to God kasi hindi ko talaga siya kaya to be passive. These will improve parent-child
connections.
na ako lang.”
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Rose, another participant, also shared the excellent
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Ang Naging Kamalayan Bunga NG Hiwalayan: Understanding Young Adults' Attitudes Towards Parental Separation

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ANG NAGING KAMALAYAN BUNGA NG

HIWALAYAN: UNDERSTANDING YOUNG

PSYCHOLOGY AND EDUCATION: A MULTIDISCIPLINARY JOURNAL

Ang Naging Kamalayan Bunga Ng Hiwalayan: Understanding Young Adults’ Attitudes

Keywords: attitudes, young adults, philippines, phenomenological study, parental separation

Introduction Ismael, & Othman, 2020). As a concept and holistic

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According to Gongala (2022), research shows that

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Data Collection Approaches transcriptions underwent thematic content analysis to

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be delegated to another adult. Older siblings should sarili ko ganun.”

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relationship their parents had. Jennie is one of the

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nung nagkita kami na tatay ko sinasabi niya po sa akin

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children’s most important protection and generates a new trauma,

Paras et al. 655/657

package among generation X and Y. Management Science Letters, 1–

Qredible. (2020, September 17). Can a parental divorce impact a

Paras et al. 656/657

Sharp Health News. (2021, February 26). The power of acceptance.

Paras et al. 657/657

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