WEST AFRICA THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY

(An Affiliate of the University of Nigeria Nsukka)

Domestic Violence and its Ethical Implication

A Paper Presentation

Nwankwo, Ikechukwu Emmanuel

To

Facilitator: Mrs. Udo Okugbe

In partial Fulfillment of the Course

Christian Ethics (RCS 362)

15th November 2022

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 Table of Contents

1. Introduction…………………………………………………………………………………...3

2. What is Violence?.....................................................................................................................3

3. Types or categories of Violence………………………………………….………..………….3

4. Domestic Violence……………………………………………………….………..…………...4

5. Various forms of Domestic Violence……………………………………………..…………..5

6. Arguments on the Prevalence of domestic violence………………………………………….7

7. Impact of domestic violence on individuals…………………………………….……………8

8. Early exposure of Children to domestic violence and its effects ……………..……………10

9. Risk factors/ causes domestic violence………………………………………..……………..11

10. The warning signs and symptoms of intimate partner abuse?..........................................13

11. Why most victims seem to remain in Abusive relationships………………………………14

12. Ethical implications of domestic violence……………………………………………………14

13. The Big Question: Should one Remain in a domestic violence relationship?...................16

14. Control/ Prevention Domestic violence……………………………………………………….17

15. Conclusion………………………………………………………………………………………20
16. References List………………………………………………………………………………...21

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INTRODUCTION

Throughout our world, violence confronts us daily. We hear about it on the news. We read about it in
newspapers and on the Internet. We experience it subtly and overtly in all cultures and across nations in
incidents ranging from ethnic slurs to hate crimes to violence carried out in the name of ideology. Such
incidents of violence tend to be easily seen as they fall within the public domain. Less visib le, however,
but often more devastating, is the domestic violence that occurs within the family. It has broken many
marriages, homes and rendered many families useless. Its resultant effects causes chaos and instability in
the society. This paper research is therefore carried out with the view to provide a brief overview of
domestic violence, its nature, prevalence and impact/ effects of domestic violence and its Ethical
implications.

What is Violence?

Violence is a complex phenomenon; there is no clear definition for it. Therefore, it is often understood
differently by different people in different contexts - such as those from different countries, cultures, or
belief systems. However, In its 2002 World Report on Violence and Health, the World Health
Organisation (WHO) proposes a definition of violence that has since become a working term for many
international organisations working in the field: “The intentional use of physical force or power,
threatened or actual, against oneself, another person, or against a group or community, that either results
in or has a high likelihood of resulting in injury, death, psychological harm, maldevelopment or
deprivation.” (World Health Organization, 2002).

Types or categories of Violence

On the basis of the WHO’s definition of violence, an elaborate “typology of violence” has been developed
that characterizes different categories and types of violence. It divides violence into three broad categories
according to who the perpetrators and victims are of violent acts:

Self-directed violence: Self-directed violence refers to violent acts a person inflicts upon him- or herself,
and includes self-abuse (such as self-mutilation) and suicidal behaviour (including suicidal thoughts, as
well as attempted and completed suicide).

Interpersonal violence: Interpersonal violence refers to violence inflicted by another individual or by a

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  Family, domestic and intimate partner violence is a kind of violence largely between family
members and intimate partners, usually, though not exclusively, taking place in the home. This
includes forms of violence such as child abuse, intimate partner violence and abuse of the elderly.

 Community violence is violence between individuals who are unrelated, and who may or may not
know each other, generally taking place outside the home. This includes youth violence, random
acts of violence, rape or sexual assault by strangers, and violence in institutional settings such as
schools, workplaces, prisons and nursing homes.

Collective violence: This can be defined as the instrumental use of violence by people who identify
themselves as members of a group whether this group is transitory or has a more permanent identity gainst
another group or set of individuals, in order to achieve political, economic or social objectives. This can
manifest in a number of forms, such as genocide, repression, terrorism and organized violent crime.

Domestic Violence

From the above categories or types of violence by the WHO, it can be seen that domestic violence fall
under the Interpersonal type of violence. Domestic violence is a complex/ multi- faceted problem. It is a
broader term that refers to acts of violence that occur within family members, as well as violence between
intimate relationships and take place in domestic settings it is also called dating violence, intimate partner
abuse, spousal abuse, intimate partner violence (IPV). Domestic violence however, is a systematic pattern
in behavior to instill dominance, superiority, and surveillance in the relationship. Maltreatment that takes
place in the context of any romantic relationship is abuse as described by the above specific terms. It,
therefore, affects men, women, or teen girls and boys, whether in a married or unmarried heterosexual or
homosexual relationship.

Domestic violence is not limited to physical violence. It includes all manner of physical, sexual, threats
threats and intimidation, emotional and psychological abuse social and economic deprivation. It has a
ripple effect, those who experienced it and those who witnessed it suffer physical and emotional injur ies.
Those who perpetrated it also wound themselves. Violence damages family and other relationship, often
permanently.

Various forms of Domestic Violence

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Intimate partner violence may consist of one or more forms, including emotional, psychological, physical,
sexual, or economic abuse.

Physical violence: Physical violence is the intentional use of physical force, used with the potential for
causing harm, injury, disability or death. This includes, but is not limited to: scratching, pushing, shoving,
grabbing, biting, choking, shaking, slapping, punching, hitting, burning, use of a weapon, and use of
restraint or one’s body against another person. This type of violence does not only lead to physical harm,
but can also have severe negative psychological effects. For example, if a child is frequently a victim of
physical violence at home, he or she can suffer from mental health problems and be traumatised as a
consequence of this victimisation.

Sexual violence: Sexual violence involves a sexual act being committed or attempted against a victim
who has not freely given consent, or who is unable to consent or refuse. This includes, but is not limited
to: forced, alcohol/drug- facilitated or unwanted penetration, sexual touching, or non-contact acts of a
sexual nature. A perpetrator forcing or coercing a victim to engage in sexual acts with a third party also
qualifies as sexual violence. This type of violence can also lead to physical harm, and in most cases has
severe negative psychological effects too.

Psychological violence: Psychological violence (also referred to as emotional or mental abuse) includes
verbal and non-verbal communication used with the intent to harm another person mentally or
emotionally, or to exert control over another person. The impact of psychological violence can be just as
significant as that of other, more physical forms of violence, as the perpetrator subjects the victim to
behaviour which may result in some form of psychological trauma, such as anxiety, depression or post-
traumatic stress disorder. This includes, but is not limited to:

 expressive aggression (e.g., humiliating and degrading),

This not only leads to mental health problems, but also to severe physical problems, such as psychosomatic
disorders.

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Neglect: Neglect, or deprivation, is a type of abuse which occurs when someone has the responsibility to
provide care for an individual who is unable to care for him- or herself, but fails to do so, therefore
depriving them of adequate care. Neglect may include the failure to provide sufficient supervisio n,
nourishment, or medical care, or the failure to fulfil other needs for which the victim cannot provide
themselves.
(Mouzos & Makkai, 2004)
Form of abuse Different forms of domestic violence of behaviour

Physical abuse Threatening or physically assaults, including punching, choking, hitting, pushing and
shoving, throwing objects, smashing objects, damaging property, assaulting childre n
and injuring pets

Sexual abuse Any unwanted sexual contact, including rape

Psychological Emotional and verbal abuse such as humiliation, threats, insults, swearing, harassment
abuse or constant criticism and put downs

Social abuse Isolating partner from friends and/or family, denying partner access to the telephone,
controlling and restricting partner's movements when going out

Economic abuse Exerting control over household or family income by preventing the other person's
access to finances and financial independence

Spiritual abuse Denying or manipulating religious beliefs of practices to force victims into subordinate
roles or to justify other forms of abuse

Arguments on the Prevalence of domestic violence

Regarding the prevalence of domestic violence, research has shown that domestic violence is becoming
prevalent in our society today than ever. Findings from the Personal Safety Survey also demonstrate that

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females are more likely than males to experience an act of physical or sexual violence (actual, attempted
or threatened) at the hands of their partner (ABS, 2006). Injuries from assault committed by a spouse have
been found to be more severe than injuries resulting from non-spousal assault. The period during a
relationship breakdown and separation is a particularly risky time for domestic violence between
spouses/members of family (Flood & Fergus 2008).

Findings from victimization surveys a feminist view suggest that women are more likely than men to
become victims of domestic violence, but that domestic violence can occur in a range of differe nt
relationship types, circumstances and settings. Research suggests that some women may be more
vulnerable to becoming victims and less capable of exiting violent relationships, depending on their age,
nature, living arrangements and abilities etc. In one part of her article, Draucker addresses intimate partner
abuse as repeatable and increasing patterns of violence against women by men in their attempts to gain
power. She notes that because this abuse occurs in a continuing relationship, or in a newly severed one,
the perpetrator may have long-term access to the abused one (Draucker, 2002). Erez, in discussing
domestic violence and the criminal justice system, reiterates the fact that women, not men, are the primary
victims of domestic violence; that is, the man's need to control and dominate underlies the violence,
resulting in the oppression of women (Erez, 2002).

It is widely accepted that domestic violence is more commonly perpetrated by males (Tomison 2000). For
example, according to the findings of research by Access Economics found that 87 percent of all victims
of domestic violence are women and that 98 percent of all perpetrators are men (Access Economics 2004).

In contrast, some research has found the rates of violence perpetrated by men and women against their
partners to be of similar size (Headey, Scott & de Vaus 1999). That domestic violence is committed
equally by males and females is a view shared by some sections of the community, particularly males. For
example, one in five respondents to a recent national survey indicated that they believed that domestic
violence is perpetrated equally by both men and women (VicHealth 2009). Debate regarding the rates of
violence against men committed by women in intimate relationships still exists, however, the consensus
finding is that women comprise the majority of victims of domestic violence than men.

Apart from differences in the prevalence of violence, there are differences in the nature of the violence
perpetrated by males and females against their partners. Males are more likely to engage in different forms
of violent behaviour against their partner (not limited to physical violence) and the violence is more severe

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and more likely to result in serious injury (Tomison 2000). James et al, examined the motivations of male
perpetrators and concluded that domestic violence can be categorised as either:

 involving aggression, intimidation, verbal abuse and physical violence to assert domination and
control over a partner; or

 an impulsive act committed in response to emotions of frustration and anger, with no real
expectation of achieving a set objective.

However, women who are violent are more likely to be driven by frustration and anger rather than by a
specific objective, and their violence is more likely to be committed in self defence, or in retaliation to
provocation (James, Seddon & Brown 2002). From the posited arguments, both women and men can be
victims of domestic abuse. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline statistics, approximate ly
1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men over the age of 18 have been the victim of physical domestic violence, and
almost 50% of both sexes have experienced some form of domestic psychological aggression.

Impact of domestic violence on individuals

Domestic violence is a major public health problem that affects millions of people and often results in
physical and emotional injuries and even deaths. Media reporting of celebrities' domestic abuse
victimization demonstrates that even the most accomplished individuals can be involved in this problem.
The statistics about those who are affected by intimate partner violence are staggering; domestic abuse
affects 3%-5% of current adult relationships in the United States, including more than 2 million women.
About 25% of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) individuals are victims of intimate partner
abuse, just as often as are heterosexual women. (Marcus & Braaf 2007).

Impact of domestic violence include increased incidences of depression, anxiety, posttraumatic stress
disorder, and suicide; increased risk of cardiovascular disease and premature mortality. The health
consequences of violence vary with the age and sex of the victim as well as the form of violence. The total
cost of domestic violence to victims, perpetrators, friends and families, communities, government and the
private sector and the general society cannot be overemphasized. This includes costs associated with:

 pain, suffering and premature mortality (which accounts for almost half of all associated costs);

 provision of health services;

 the impact on employment and productivity;

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  replacing damaged property, defaulting on personal debts and moving;

 exposure to domestic violence among children, child protection services;

 the response of the criminal justice system, support services and prevention programs; and

 Victim compensation and financial support from a range of sources.

Domestic violence is associated with a range of health problems. One in five homicides involved intimate
partners and more than half of all victims were killed by their intimate partner (Dearden & Jones 2008).
Domestic violence has a significant impact on the general health and wellbeing of individuals by causing
physical injury, anxiety, depression, impairing social skills and increasing the likelihood that they will
engage in practices harmful to their health, such as self-harm or substance abuse. Domestic violence is
also the most common factor contributing to homelessness among women and their children. They may
be forced from their homes in order to escape violence, disrupting social support networks as well as
children's schooling and social networks (Marcus & Braaf 2007).

There is also an association between domestic violence and child maltreatment (child physical, sexual and
emotional abuse) and neglect, which is related to a range of negative physical, psychological and
emotional consequences (Tomison 2000). There is some evidence that observing significantly others being
maltreated (especially siblings and parents) by someone with whom a child identifies with closely (ie a
parent), is a more significant factor in the intergenerational transmission of violence than the child actually
being maltreated her/himself (Brown 1983, a cited in Hamilton 1989).

Research has identified that many victims perceive the emotional impacts of both physical and non-
physical abuse such as their degree of fear, their partner's intent to harm and their own self blame as being
more significant than any physical injuries incurred (Flood & Fergus 2008). The impact of violence can
extend well beyond the period of abuse it can leave a permanent scar on the victim.

Early exposure of Children to domestic violence and its effects

Domestic violence at homes results in emotional damage, which exerts continued effects as the victim
matures. Research has found that, after controlling for other factors, there are higher rates of domestic
violence in those households in which there are children present. Children who witnessed domestic
violence in their home are tended to be exposed to living a violent lifestyle. Experience of abuse during
childhood also increases the likelihood of being assaulted or harmed as an adult. One study found that

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young people who had been exposed to violence in the home when they were growing up were twice as
likely to have been victims of violence as adults (Indermaur 2001). These findings are concerning because
exposure to domestic violence has been associated with a higher likelihood of the following problems
among young people:

 issues related to cognitive, emotional and social functioning and development which can lead to
behavioural and learning difficulties;

 an increase in the risk of mental health issues, including depression and anxiety disorders;

 issues related to education and employment prospects;

 more accepting of or willing to excuse the use of violence against women;

 involvement in violent relationships with peers and conflict with adults and other forms of
authority;

 increased risk of becoming perpetrators or victims themselves; and

 a detrimental impact on their future parenting capacities (Flood & Fergus 2008; Tomison 2000;
VicHealth 2006).

It has been recognised that exposing a child to domestic violence is a form of abuse in itself, regardless of
whether the child is the target of such violence or not (Flood & Fergus 2008), and that such exposure is
related to the intergenerational transmission of violence (Tomison 2000). Exposure to violence in the
home can lead young people to develop inappropriate norms concerning violence and aggression, and to
model the behaviour and attitudes to which they have been exposed, increasing the risk that an individ ua l
will enter into an abusive relationship in adulthood, either as the perpetrator or victim (Flood & Fergus
2008, Tomison 2000). Domestic violence is a serious issue; it can leave physical and psychological scars
and contribute to generational cycles of violence. Children who are victims or witness of domestic and
family violence may believe that violence is a reasonable way to resolve a conflict. Males who learn that
females are not equally respected are more likely to abuse females in adulthood. Females who witness
domestic violence as children are more likely to be victimized by their spouses. (Huecker et al, 2022).
Furthermore, unchecked domestic violence can escalate into life-or-death situations.

The home is supposed to be a safe space for the child to grow up, develop, and thrive in. The home
supposed to provide support, love and happiness for the child. Unfortunately, this isn’t how all homes or
relationships function. For many children, a home is a battle ground, a place of fear, hurt, and confusio n.

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Domestic violence demoralizes children and gives them a negative perspective of life and family thereby
making the child hostile and aggressive. A child growing up in an abusive environment may struggle to
visualize or prepare for the future, leading to challenges in school and problematic behaviors.

Risk factors/ causes domestic violence

Although there is no specific cause for domestic violence, risk factors for domestic violence and family
violence includes individual, relationship, community, and societal issues. A number of risk factors have
been identified as associated with perpetrators of domestic violence. These include age, low academic
achievement, low income or exclusion from the labour market, social disadvantage and isolation and
exposure to, or involvement in, aggressive or delinquent behaviour as an adolescent (Flood & Fergus
2008; NSW Office for Women's Policy 2008). Many of these same risk factors have been linked to an
increased likelihood of aggressive behaviour and offending generally. Mouzos and Makkai, found that,
among those women who had experienced current intimate partner violence, the most commonly reported
aspects of the male perpetrator's behaviour (and therefore risk factors for violence) were drinking habits,
general levels of aggression and controlling behaviour (Mouzos and Makkai, 2004). These issues are also
common risk factors for domestic violence in many relationships. The risk factors for domestic violence
varies across different communities and individuals.

Situational factors

Various situational factors, while not direct causes, may increase the risk of domestic violence. Some of
these factors include family or relationship problems, financial problems or unemployment and recent
stressful events or circumstances, such as the death of a family member (Memmott et al. 2001).

 Alcohol and drug abuse are significant risk factors for domestic violence, with research
suggesting that women whose partners frequently consume alcohol at excessive levels are more
likely to experience violence (Mouzos & Makkai 2004). Alcohol use is also prevalent among
victims of domestic violence (Nicholas 2005).There is strong evidence of a relationship between
heavy drinking and aggression (Wells & Graham 2003). However, not all people who consume
alcohol become violent. One explanation for the role of alcohol in domestic violence is that the
consumption of alcohol may facilitate an escalation of an incident from verbal to physical abuse
because it lowers inhibitions and increases feelings of aggression (Nicholas 2005). There is also
research that suggests that because of its impact on aggression the consumption of alcohol, either
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 by the offender or victim, may increase the seriousness of a domestic violence incident, the severity
of injuries and risk of death, with almost half of all intimate partner homicides found to be alcohol-
related (Wells & Graham 2003).
 Mental problems: Women who are victims of severe physical abuse are likely to suffer from
mental illness. The illnesses included anxiety, depression, alcoholism and drug dependence,
antisocial personality disorder, and schizophrenia. It is not exactly clear if mentally ill women tend
to be abused, or if abused women develop mental illness. Nonetheless, it appears likely the two
unfortunate situations occur together, leading to one of the major factors that contribute to
domestic violence.
 Poverty and unemployment: People in dire financial straits are more likely to be involved in
domestic violence. Half of homeless women and children are victims of domestic violence. One
major cause of this trend is the fact that abuse victims in poverty often lack the means to escape
the situation. They may not have access to legal help or be able to afford their own housing.
Abusers usually take steps to keep their victims in poverty as well. For example, an abuser may
sabotage a job opportunity for their victim in order to keep the victim dependent on the abuser.
 Relationship Retention Behavior: One of the causes of domestic violence is the thought process
that violence can help save marriage. Many partners resort to domestic violence in marriage
because they think this is the only way to retain their partner. Any threat to the relations hip
motivates the spouse to devise such retention strategies. Such behaviors, although wrong, are
meant to explicitly or implicitly aim at maintaining the bond. However, such a treatment,
intimidation, or verbal abuse contributes to the causes of domestic violence. It, thereby, leads to
marriage separation or divorce.
 Superiority complex and the inherent evil of chauvinism acts as one of the major causes of
domestic violence.
 Cultural Factors: When two people from different cultures decide to be wedded, it is not
necessary that they both are acquainted with the differences in the culture. It might seem exciting
at first, but with time, cultural differences can play as one of the common causes of domestic
violence. What might seem appropriate to once culture could be appreciated in another. And this
will create one of the significant causes of family violence. If couples do not adopt cultura l
differences with a conscious approach, this can lead to domestic violence causes. It can ultima te ly

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 put the future in question. How to raise the kids? How cultural ideology to follow? A lot comes
into the scene if coupes don’t share cultural compatibility and/or disrespect each other’s choices.
 Self Defence: In the list of causes of domestic violence, self-defense can also act as an obvious
factor. Many spouses can resort to violence to avoid any outbreak from their partner or act in
response to their partner’s abuse. That means, if one partner is using any form of violence, another
can mirror the same. On the other hand, the other partner can also take a step to introduce domestic
violence if they feel a profound sense of relationship control from their partner. In order to balance
out the power, this might seem to them as a last resort. However, using violence can only be
justified when the partners have no other way to defend themselves.
 Suspicion of Infidelity: The spousal relationship is meant to be based on trust and faith. However,
at times, when the trust is put to question, it can act as the causes of domestic violence in marriage.
If a partner feels that another is not preserving the sanctity of marriage and is cheating on them,
they might think of violence as the solution. The suspicion of infidelity can make the partner bitter
and lead to opportunity based crime and violence.

The warning signs and symptoms of intimate partner abuse

The acronym AARDVARC (An Abuse, Rape, Domestic Violence Aid, and Resource Collectio n)
describes several warning signs for friends, family members, and coworkers for recognizing people who
may be victims of intimate partner abuse. Specifically, teens, men, or women who are often absent from
school or work or have numerous injuries they try to explain away, like bruises or black eyes. Individ ua ls
with low self-esteem, who show a change in their personality, have a fear of conflicts, engage in passive -
aggressive behavior, blame themselves, seem isolated, or demonstrate stress-related physical symptoms
(for example, headaches, stomach upset, sleep problems, or skin rashes) may be experiencing abuse in
their relationship.

Why most victims seem to remain in Abusive relationships

Most victims of domestic violence stay with their abusers because of fear. Some are afraid that the abuser
will become more violent if they try to leave. Others fear that they will lose their children or the fear of
not exposing their children to experiencing a broken home. Many believe that they cannot make it on their
own. Some abused victims believe that the abuse is their fault. They think that they can stop the abuse if
they just act differently. Some cannot admit that they are been abused. Others feel pressured to stay in the
relationship. They may feel cut off from social support and resources. The victims often feel that they are

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alone, and have nowhere to turn for help. However, Abusive men come from all walks of life. They may
be successful in their career and respected in their church and community. Abusive men often share some
common characteristics. They tend to be jealous, possessive and easily angered. Many abusive men
believe that women are inferior. They believe that men are meant to dominate and control women.
Typically, abusive men deny that the abuse is happening or they minimize it. They may blame their partner
for the abuse, saying, “You made me do this.”

Ethical implications of domestic violence

Domestic violence is extremely uncalled for and the factors of domestic violence are unjustified. Violence
in any form is both ethically and morally wrong and bad action. It goes against the scriptural instructio n
that enjoins Christians to pursue peace with all men (Heb 12:14) and legally against the universal human
right laws.

First, lack of respect for human dignity and human rights is a core problem related to domestic violence.
A person cannot bring him/herself to harm another person if the other person is genuinely viewed as
possessing intrinsic worth. Those persons who inflict domestic violence possess character traits and values
that dehumanize and oppress their victims. Likewise, individuals in many countries have certain rights,
the most basic ones include the right to life and the right to safety, especially in their own homes. But
domestic violence kills. The Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR) by the United Nations
General Assembly in Paris on 10 December 1948 states in Article 3 that: Everyone has the right to life,
liberty and security of person. And in Article 5 that: No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel,
inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment (https://www.un.org/en/about-us/universal-declaratio n-
of-human-rights). Domestic violence also robs the victims of their right to safety. The home becomes a
battlefield where the victim does not know when the next battering will occur and what form it will take,
whether physical, psychological, sexual, or economic.

As Christians, “the Scripture opens with God as the creator of the world and all forms life. It presents man
‘made in God’s image’ as the crown of his creation (Gen 1:27). As such man was and always remains a
moral being, one who is responsible to God and whose action can be judged right or wrong, good or evil
on the basics of how they conform to or deviate from his character and from the demands he makes in the
Scripture” (Shields 2014, 21).

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Jesus’ teaching summarizes the Decalogue which enjoins us to love our God and our neighbour as our self
(Matt 22:37-39). These are absolute laws, every man have an ethical duty to respect the dignity and human
rights of other persons and to treat them with compassion regardless of their gender, ethnicity, or race.
Duty is not a word to be taken lightly. An ethical duty must always be carried out unless it conflicts with
an equal or higher duty. Thus, both men and women are created in God’s image and they are to treat each
other with dignity, love and respect. Therefore engaging in domestic violence or violence of any kind
against fellow humans is both morally wrong and a bad action which demean the dignity of man.

Second, Abusive men may take a text from the Bible and distort it to support their right to batter. They
often use Ephesians 5:22 (“Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord”) to justify their
behavior. This passage (Eph5: 21-33), however, refers to the mutual submission of husband and wife out
of love for Christ. It means that husbands should love their wives as they love their own body, as Christ
loves the Church. For every Christian relationship, marriage or family to be free from domestic violence
must imbibe Paul’s instruction to the Ephesians church because marriage is ordained by God that by it,
two shall become “one flesh” (Gen 2:24; Eph 5:31). Therefore anyone whether male or female who
engages in domestic violence against their partner is automatically violating divine commands and making
profane the sacredness of marriage institution.

Third, God’s command that “a man leaves his father and mother and is ‘united’ to his wife, and they
become one flesh” (Gen 2:24). Family is the smallest unit of a society however, it plays a very vital role
to the wellbeing of the society and it provides a stable environment for the society and for the children to
grow. The key purposes of marriage according to Norman Shields are Procreation and companions hip
(Shields 2014, 207). Hence domestic violence is anti to God’s purpose of marriage and family institutio n
because it affects the unity of the family, the companionship that is expected and subsequently can hinder
procreation. Jesus rightly said that “every kingdom divide against itself cannot stand” (Matt 12:25).
Domestic violence causes divisiveness in the family and further hinders God’s original plan for marriage
and family therefore it is morally wrong and should not be allowed.

Finally, the apostle Paul in his writings to the Ephesians Church admonished them saying “Children obey
your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first command me nt
with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth. Fathers, do not
provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:1-
4). Further in Colosians 3:21, writes “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose

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heart.” The above scriptural passages shows us the as Christians that the Bible disapproves of violence of
any form that may happen in the family or anything that may cause domestic violence in Christian families
whether is from the parents to Child maltreatments and abuse or the children to the parents and elders.
Domestic violence, wherever it occurs, diminishes every human being.

The Big Question: Should one Remain in a domestic violence relationship?

Generally in the secular world, it is believe that when a marriage is not working especially violent
relationship, divorce is the next option. According to Geisler, “there is no universal agreement among
Christians on divorce. Hence it is difficult to be dogmatic on the topic. However there are some areas of
general agreement among Christians about divorce which are: Divorce is not God’s design. Even God
said to Malachi, “I hate divorce” (Mal. 2:16), divorce is not permissible for every cause except for
immorality [fornication] (Matt 19:9), Divorce creates problems because once God’s design is forsaken, it
is only natural that problem will emerge. It leaves scars that are not easily healed” (Geisler 2010, 303).
Bible does not encourage divorce in marriage because marriage is a covenant (Mala 2:14). Marriage is
lifelong commitment. Jesus rightly stated, “What God has joined together, let no man separate”
(Matt19:6). It is also stated by Paul: “by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is
alive” (Rom 7:2). This entails the concept of permanence in marriage. However, one does not get marriage
to be battered, abused or even get killed by the partner. It is better to live in a corner of a roof than in a
house shared with a contentious and vexing woman (Prov. 21:9, 19). Although the scripture allude
contention and vexation to women however, it can also be found in a man as well. Which simply means
it is not even good to stay in the same roof with a contentious and vexing personality because they can
trigger domestic violence in a home. Because human beings are ‘fallen creature’ with sinful natures,
difficulties and differences arises between husbands and wives even among family members. Such persons
can be separated with the intention to allow both parties have a better change others may seek an
annulment if the problem of violence cannot be controlled. Marriage is a sacred institution, and should
not be profaned by divorce. For Christians these challenges are to be faced and conquered prayerfully and
not excuses to separate and divorce. However, while divorce is never justifiable, even for adultery, it is
sometimes permissible and always forgivable.

Control/ Prevention of Domestic violence

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Domestic violence does not see gender. A toxic and insecure partner will exert violence, irrespective of
the gender they belong. There are several ways to prevent domestic violence, from the women’s and men’s
perspectives. There several possible ways by which we can control or even prevent domestic violence in
our society which are as follows.

 Prevention of domestic violence involves providing economic opportunity, mentors, role models,
organized community programs for youth and families, a school environment that promotes the
prevention of abusiveness in any relationship, and adult family members who are nurturing and
who provide consistent, structured support.
 A holistic approach that deals with the effects of children's exposure to domestic violence and
other maltreatment will help prevent the intergenerational transmission of violent attitudes and
behaviours and/or subsequent victimisation.

 Increase the availability and awareness of services for victims and perpetrators. This includes
services such as advocacy, support, accommodation, skill development and counselling for victims
of domestic violence as well as programs for perpetrators of domestic violence to reduce repeat
victimisation (Humphreys 2007).

 Education: Educational training can help learn how to stop domestic violence, teach about the
violation of women’s rights and violations of men’s rights. It will also let you figure out how to
help an abused woman or man, among others. Low literacy has also been identified as a factor that
negatively affects domestic violence prevention efforts. This is because poorly educated people
tend to be economically less productive and thus have less bargaining power in the family. Thus,
quality education may be one of the most efficient ways to stop violence against any gender.

 Implement early intervention and education programs targeted at young people, including school-
based programs that aim to shape appropriate attitudes towards women and violence, which have
been identified as the most important strategies in breaking the cycle of domestic violence
(Indermaur 2001; National Crime Prevention 2001).

 Address alcohol and other substance use problems among both perpetrators and victims of
domestic violence, including through the development of partnerships between treatment services
and domestic violence programs (Nicholas 2005). Strategies to address the excessive consumptio n
of alcohol in the wider community are also important.

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 Tolerance: Serious Sad Woman Thinking Over A Problem, Man Sitting Aside. A perfect human
being does not exist. To keep a relationship going, both parties must exhibit maturity and learn to
tolerate each other’s imperfections. Tolerance can be one of the best domestic violence prevention
strategies. When there is tolerance, violence rarely results in a home. Tolerance should also extend
to children, domestic servants, and other members of the household.

 Dialogue: Humans tend to exhibit animalistic tendencies sometimes. In relationships, intolera nce,
anger, and a vile temper can often degenerate into domestic violence. Tolerance, dialogue remains
one of the most feasible solutions to domestic violence.

 Obtain consent: To prevent domestic violence, both partners must obtain each other’s consent
before taking certain actions, e.g., having sex. Though both partners should be readily available
for one another, this may not be the case sometimes. Instead of coercion and violence, everyone
must learn to treat others the right way and understand that marital rape and coercion can constitute
a violation of women’s rights or men’s rights. Though there is an impression that women are
always the victims of sexual abuse, men also suffer abuse as well.
 Respect religious teachings: All major religions extol virtues such as love, peace, kindness,
faithfulness, and others. Adhering to these religious exhortations will go a long way to stop
domestic violence in many relationship. Christianity teaches that if you spare the rod, you spoil
the child. But this should not be interpreted as an explicit incitement of domestic violence against
children. Rather than being brutalized, as is sometimes the case, children who err should be
punished rationally and not disproportionately.
 Observe the law: Many countries have legal measures for domestic violence prevention. Some
common measures include subjecting the abuser to rehabilitation programs as well as sanctions
like fines, community service, among others. If implemented well these measures will be highly
prolific for domestic violence prevention.
 Promote gender equality: The World Health Organization (WHO) has noted that “gender
inequalities increase the risk of violence of men against women and inhibit the ability of those
affected to seek protection.” However, there are cultures in the world where women have the upper
hand and men are forced to submit. All domestic violence strategies must recognize that men are
also prone to abuse. It is very common to associate domestic violence with men.

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 Professional help: There are so many professionals out there with knowledge on how to help an
abused person. Victims and perpetrators of domestic violence should seek relevant professiona ls
for health, legal, psychological, or any other form of advice.
 Engage in productive activity: An idle mind is the devil’s workshop. If one is unemployed, he or
she may find that sitting at home all day can be very frustrating. For some men or women with
spouses and children, such frustrations can lead to unnecessary domestic violence against each
other and kids. Finding work can help eliminate frustrations, keep you focused, and, most
importantly, provide one income to take care of oneself and one’s family.
 Avoid bad company: Sociologists will often tell you that peer pressure is a strong influence on
both young people and adults. If someone’s peers include those who boast about their domestic
violence exploits, then the chances are that they’ll soon adopt such habits.
 Being skilled in problem-solving can help prevent domestic violence. Problems at home or work
can sometimes lead to violence. Individuals with high-level training and skills in human resource
management may cope better in managing interpersonal relationships such as employees and
marriages. Seeking help from some mediator will also help in the prevention of domestic violence.
 Showing love and affection: Marriages and relationships can be very challenging. This is partly
why there is a high rate of divorce cases all over the world. However, where this a will, there’ll
surely be a way. With love and genuine affection for each other, challenges like domestic violence
can be handled.
 Avoid infidelity: There’s a relationship between domestic violence and accusations of
infidelity/sexual jealousy. Abuse or violence resulting from infidelity or allegations of infidelity is
common between males and females. Being faithful to your partner can thus help in domestic
abuse prevention.
 Adopt rules and home dispute resolution mechanisms: Managing a home with a spouse and kids
can be a cumbersome and difficult task. Apart from dialogue, you may also need to come up with
a set of rules and daily routines for every member of your home to follow. Punitive measures for
offenders, especially the kids, should also be spelled out. These can be among the ways to prevent
domestic violence as rules in the household lead to a peaceful and coherent life.
 Talk to family members, trusted friends, colleagues, and relatives: Settling all problems between
partners internally can be ideal. But sometimes, to prevent domestic violence, it may be necessary
to confide in family members, friends, colleagues, relatives, and others. A study has shown that

19
 family and friends can help end domestic violence. If someone wants to learn how to help an
abused woman or man, then discuss it with your trusted individuals as they are the ones who will
give you the most effective advice.
 Walk away if it is not working: Sometimes a marriage or some other relationship is not just meant
to be. If you’ve tried every avenue and observed that both of you are not compatible, then rather
than domestic violence and abuse, it may be more dignified to exit the relationship altogether. This
will help both of you move on with your lives and try to explore new relationships while there is
still time although it is not ideal for a Christian.

Conclusion

The effects of abuse are devastating and far-reaching. Domestic violence speaks many languages, has
many colours and lives in many different communities. Domestic violence however, is a systematic
pattern in behavior to instill dominance, superiority, and surveillance in the relationship. It, therefore,
affects men, women, or teen girls and boys, whether in a married or unmarried heterosexual or homosexua l
relationship. Violence of any kind is inhuman and violation of human right law and also an offence against
divine commandment “Love your neighbour as yours self” (Matt. 22:39). Therefore violence should not
be tolerated nor condoled among the Christian community or family.

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