The Skin Changer Harry J.

Chong Characters [110,000 words] Donnie Underwood Main character, successful business man, entrepreneur, owns a media company, introverted, sort of a nerd, a very old virgin in his thirties, never had a girlfriend, always focused on money, thought it would solve his problems, raised mostly by his grandmother, ran away from home at young age started company when he was 15 (Full name is Donald Underwood) Turns 30 years old [ball of insecurities] Returns to his old town, because he wants to fix up the place, and give back. Runs a charity. Womans shelter. Sort of a cheap guy, but changes his habits when he meets Clara. Donnie has mother. Never met his dad. Dad only appears when he sells his company. Tillie is mother instead of grandmother. Tillie Underwood Donnies grandmother, one of only two relatives he keeps in contact with, a tough dame in her day, usually quiet and reserved in her old age, but gets livid every once in a while 74 years old Teddy Tanner Donnies best friend, a congenial guy, not as successful as Donnie, but he appears to be far more happy, he works as a salesman at a car dealership 30 Jasmine Jazzy Tanner Teddys wife, does charity work, very content, normal person 25 Aaron Xavier Jr. Donnies Rival in business, also interested in Clara, becomes her boyfriend later on Grew up as a rich kid, inherited his dads business when he died of heart attack Parents had great expectations for him. Would never allow him to be himself. Were always trying to make him proper. Dad was always critical. 35 Dad = Godfrey 80 Mom =Nadine (Aaron and Donnie both see Spinks as a common enemy.) Was the black sheep the family. Was never the favorite. Feels unappreciated for his efforts. Tough front but sensitive. Hates it when people make fun of him. Often behind his back. Hes very misunderstood. Hes wealthybut feels like an outcast. Doesnt fit in. Wants to commit suicide. In Common: Aaron and Donnie, both lonely sorts. Put their careers ahead of them. Never been loved, etc. Both have common enemy. Hate the same things. Dr. Rose Wright Doctor who performs operation on Donnie 40, very pragmatic, straight to the point, blunt, realistic, doesnt live in fantasy and hope. Parents used to make fun of her. She became a doctor because they said that she was too stupid to become a doctor. Parents were Ron Wright and Donna Wright Maya McLeod Childhood friend of Donnie, secretly in love with him, single mother, never married, doesnt know who the father is (been with two guys: has only been with two

guys), was in relationship, took a break in relationship and had sex with another guy, none of them want to talk to her, thinks shes a whore/slut 30 Aaron McLeod Mayas kid, typical two years old, a bit rowdy Clara (Alternative: Carol) Witman Donnies romantic interest, aspiring actress, works at the strip club just for the money, torn up about her parents being divorced, has gone through a bunch of terrible relationships, is a light drug user, often irrational and moody, but has moments of sweetness, likes children 28 too has the pressures of being beautiful/attractive - gets Donnie down (but he is fairly tolerant) -used to be fat, met Donnie long time ago but he forgot; he did not like her at the time. Garrett Brown - Claras On and Off boyfriend, a domestic abuser, for what reason its unknown. Hes just one of those people who pop out their moms vagina evil. He has a sense of inferiority. Tries to make up for it by being a control freak. Incredibly condescending. Verbally. Phsyically. Abusive. 29 Claras attracted to him physically. Thinks she can change him. Seemed good before. Other Characters Hoser Donnies pet dog, loyal Dalmatian, adopted, 1, bit previous owner was about to be put down Jorge Alvarez Claras boss, treats Clara like shit, when younger his mom cheated on his dad 56 Mack Stanes Claras drug dealer, a real media junkie, watches too many movies and plays video games, a sort of man-child, his family died when he was a teenager, forced him to grow up (had brother and sister) 31 but doesnt really know his age, he has so many fake IDs 52 Warren Witman Claras lawyer dad (divorced), remarried, has one kid excluding Clara: Emily 32 Candy Witman Sort of a bimbo, really, not much in terms of personality, cares about the little things in life, very materialistic, relatively young Emily Witman Teenager, Daddys little girl, sometimes makes Clara jealous 16 60 Marcus Dupont Pearls husband, stays at home, is the homemaker, people make fun of him, but hes a really good person, but doesnt care what people think, generally, loves to fish 53 Pearl Dupont- Claras lawyer mom (divorced), feminist, remarried as well, has three kids including child from previous married with Warren: Clarence, Darren, and Kyle [Divorce took place when Kelly was young, 6 years old]

Kyle 11 and Darren Dupont 13 Very identical to each other in personality, introverts, nerds, often get bullied at school, Clara does her best to take care of them Clarence Dupont Took moms last name, Claras Younger Brother, straight edged individual, also want to become a lawyer too, wants to change the law 26 Jay Underwood Donnies little cousin, wild troublesome kid, never knew his parents, lives with grandmother, joins a gang, gets murdered 15 Richard Li Convenience store owner, informal link between Donnie and Clara, parents the very stoic sort, but always looked out for him, grew up in large family, became a convenience store owner when he moved away because he didnt want to be lonely; though his mannerisms sometimes say the opposite love/hate for people 33 Has problems similar to Donnie. His race is a problem. Namish Gandhi Donnies cab driver, came to America from India to give money to his family overseas, has a good family life, but often butts heads with his parents who opposed his marriage to a woman they considered lower class 42 Sub-characters Jill -Girl who is only nice when she wants something. Sean bigot The pseudo-intellectual The rocker Setting An old city, once industrious when the automobile was around, but now in ruins (Detroit, Michigan) Donnie went to start his software company in Toronto, Canada Notes Donnie stays in his old neighborhood to be close to Clara, thats his only reason, he has mixed feelings about his neighborhood which is mostly a ghetto Clara is poor, and she has insecurities about money and her looks and everything, and she gets together with Donnie because of his money General Plot Donnie Underwood, a successful businessman, visits his neighborhood and gets in touch with a girl he used to love when he was younger. All his feelings return. He wants to winner her overpartly for vindication, as a mark of success. Best friend on death row Events, NOTES

Donnie leaves Scotland and goes to North America. Donnie returns to the city he grew up in to fix up the place, to make a difference. Donnie in the shower, trying to scratch/scrub the darkness away Donnie finds Clara, the one that got away, by running his womans shelter. Donnie goes in for skin change consultation. Deliberates. Decides to go through with it. Donnie demolishes the old country (golf) club that refused to let him in when he was younger. Donnies dog dies. Causes him great grief. He was literally his best friend. Donnie carries around a plastic ring in his pocket. Something Clara gave to him when he was a kid. He wants to use it to propose to her, but he throws it away instead at the end. Donnie tries to seduce Clara, but he finds that, in spite of his money, she is not attracted to him enough. He takes her out. Takes her everywhere. Does a bunch of stuff for her. She only comes around when he changes his appearances (the skin change.) Donnie is fat. Loses weight. Throws a party for Clara, tries to impress her Goes from humble entrepreneur to ostentatious millionaire Uses dating website, dating services Smokes cigarettes, quits, takes it up again Friends find out hes a virgin; they try to help him a la inspiration from movies Enjoys walking in the night Mugging as a white man Donnie smashes all the mirrors in his house Voice changes Donnie argues with himself. Hears the words in his head, Nobody loves you. Screams. Rages. Like a bleeding man. Not invited to partiesgoes through a lot of rejection Behind his money is a frail man Hidinghiding behind wealth, status, superficial things Goes to the movies alone sometimes Doesnt tell Clara about his transformation right awayhas a little fun with her -Has success fear, that is, the fear that people only like him for his successfully, he is acutely paranoid: asks himself, would this person have liked me if I wasnt in this position? -Dates -Donnie takes Clara to Paris, Europe, etc -Fat, loses weight, thinks that will help -Bit of a hypocrite -Tries to lose his virginity with a high class hooker -Girl who keeps talking about her ex-boyfriend constantly Donnies a bit of a hypocrite though, he himself cant get over Clara -Throws birthday part, no one comes, but Clara helps him out and calls all her friends, they come and dont know who he is no presents. -Shoes, likes shoes -Donnie meets girl cheating on her fianc, he is disgusted and fascinated.

Clara reveals her promiscuous past to Donnie. Clara goes out dancing. Gets drunk. Kisses other guys. Lesbian kisses for money. Clara gets money from her parents. But she gets cut off financially, and she decides to become a stripper, against Donnies wishes (they arent in a relationship yet). -Aspiring actress, wants to kiss, do nude scenes etc, makes Donnie uncomfortable -Why people like celebrities? -Why does she want to be an actress? -Clara wants to have an open relationship -Clara says she loves someone else, this sets off Donnie, she says that you can love two people at the same time (he disagrees) -Donnie wants Clara to cut off all contact with her ex-boyfriend -Donnie gets into argument when Clara kisses on screen -You know what a boob job cant fix? Your self-esteem. -Ugly duckling -Wouldve preferred to do it with another virgin, feels inadequate, knowing her experiences -Dont you care about how I feel? -Your happiness is not my responsibility. -Cant you both be equally important? -I dont want to be second to your career, Clara! -Why do you want to be an actress, anyway? Youre working for nothing. -I have passion. Its not always about money. Unlike you and your greedy business ventures. -Dont bullshit me. You are attracted to the glamour and fame and the moneyeveryone is. Thats what you want. A bed of money and something to stroke your goddamn ego. -Well, fuck you. Im going to keep doing what Im doing and I dont care about your stupid feelings. You can accept or not, act like a man. What a double standard! Topics -Women have support groups, men have no emotional outlets -Photos/souvenirs of exes -Aging, what do you do when someone ages? -How important is sexual attraction? -Whats it like being rich? Class system. -Whats the fear? The fear of dying alone? The fear of change? Poverty? -Quarter life crisis -Why does Donnie do what he does? Why did he want money in the first place? What are his real reasons? -Delayed childhood, really growing up, learning as an adult -Old town was split in two, rich and poor side; a lot of town became gentrified -Why men are afraid of promiscuous women (feel theyre not good enough, fear of cheating/betrayal, disease, guys want loyalty/romance too etc); dont want to be compared, compared to other men; the first time is special, youll never forget that, just doing it again Misogynist, parents have loveless marriage, dad cheats on mom -White savior, white super heroes, stars, actors

-porno, acting, detachment -Types of cheating, levels of cheating -French kissing, gestures, culture differences -You cant force someone to love you -Competing couples -Not having anything in common -Power struggle, dominance -You want to be the one and only -Loving those who dont love you -Loving those because you feel you have to love them -The old girl, the one who only comes around when its good -Fair weather friends -Materialism, presents, gifts for someone else, valuing materials over people -Thoughtlessness Thoughts, Topics of Discussion: -People, only nice when they want something -Why rich people go insane -Letting other people get to you -People judge you on your looks and your money (obvious) -Understanding comes from both experience and reflection (why Donnie does not understand relationships, why hes immature in a way) -We always judge people, we naturally do, even if you only say good things, you are judging -Set in the not too distant future -In the future, libraries do not exist -Hydrogen economy, alternative energies -Sexual tastes, how come its wrong to reject a friendship based on skin color, but okay when it comes to romance? -The Star Thrower, What Motivates Donnie in Charity -When everyone else has someone but you, it make s you feel left out. Youre this successful persona, youre nice, and youre in shape, but youre still seen as a nigger. They just take you at face value. Becoming rich is easier than finding the right person. -Donnie plants trees -Trust issues, the you dont trust me line -Double standards, nobody wants to be judged by how they look, but everyone judges people by how they look -Thinking/fantasizing about past relationships, past experiences -Dont ask, dont tell -Cultural differences -Kissing, touching, hugging, etc, physical contact -To be the one and only -How many people can you love? -Losing a friend -Different types of love -Black Santa

-Parental love, neglect -Selfish love -Loving someone until theyre old -Loving someone unconditionally, true love -Getting stood up -Being called names -Dreaming -Imaginary friend -Richness does not bring happiness -Commitment -Insecurity and motivation, both negative and positive -Accepting the other person -Asking the other to change/not change -Flirting hand holding, kissing, touching, hugging, eye contact, etc, whats acceptable, whats not, why, why not -Thug/black culture, self-hating -Hates that culture, but judges individuals -Acting too white -Skin bleaching products -Straightening hair -White is the epitome of beauty, why? Globally. -Man box -Wants to have a family, under certain conditions, doesnt want kids to see mom sluttering around -How do you expect me to react with your history? Your vast history. Especially with you bragging about what you done. Hes a good kisser. Hes good in bed. Do you know how that makes me feel, Kate? I have nothing to compare. Its not fair. -Im not responsible for your happiness! Thats up to you. If youre insecure, then thats on you. I have a past. And thats my past. I cant change it. So what if I enjoyed my time with others guys? Yeah. I liked getting fucked. So what? I liked having some strong boy grab me and stick his tongue down my throat. Hm? What do you have to say? -Tears started welling up in Donnies eyes. But he didnt want to cry. He didnt want to not be a man. He had to be a man. Thats what he was taught all his life. Dont show your emotions. Dont look weak. -Well, said Donnie, you could at least be more sensitive. You know. Thats not a very nice thing to say. -You asked goddamn it. -I did not ask! -Men tell other men to man up when they get their heart broke, women dont do that, theyre luckier in that aspect -Donnie to Kate, how can you kiss someone you dont love? -A kiss is special, should be between two people that love each other. Right? -White man complaining about everyone else getting more rights, well, would you like to change places? -Im not telling you to give up your career. I dont want you to do that. I just want you to do it differently. Is that too much to ask for?

-Im going to win an Oscar! You cant stop me! Lines I wont say that I never loved you, because that isnt true at all But, Clara, I dont love you anymore; and the reason is you made me not love myself. Goodbye. I have nothing more to say. Endings -Donnie changes back to his old-self -Doesnt change back to his old-self, accepts it all -Leaves Clara -Throws out all his old things -Commit suicide -Accidentally killed -Rides off on his bike, bike is from his childhood, he was demanded to give it away -Rides off in his car I want a real man. Chapter 1: Memory Lane Donnie Underwood stood on his balcony and looked below the city. He was proud of his achievementshe was, as he said often, living the life. While he wasnt a software titan or some sort of media mogul, he certainly appreciated what he had. Starting his own publishing company allowed him to do the things he always wanted. Youd think a good looking guy like him would go globetrotting and woman chasing, but everything he wanted was simple. As Donnie sat in his car, driving along on an unusually quiet road, he accidentally caught a glimpse of himself in the rearview mirror. He shook his head and took a second look. To his astonishment, his pale skin was chipping away on its own, without medical intervention. But revealed under all was not his old dark face, rather it was something hed never seen before. It confused. It scared him. He thought for a moment what it was and realized what he was looking at. Under his skin was hope and love: hope for the world and love for himself. Donnie smiled inside. He turned off his car, and decided that he didnt need to visit the doctors office to change back. He didnt need to return to his former looks. Looks are just looks, he figured, what matters cant be seen. Then he went onto the street and walked for miles; for no reason, just because it now felt easy to be in his shoes. He felt comfortable. The End

Donnie likes Clara, partly, for her looks Aaron Garrett Clara flies across the country to see best friend Donnie meets Happy, fat, and bald Dialogue Donnie sat down on the curbside. The barber came out to see him. Whats the matter? he asked. Dont you like your haircut? You look sadder than me when I don get a tip. Im just not in a great mood, said Donnie. Why? said the barber. I dont wanna talk about it, said Donnie. Its stupid. I hear a lot of stupid things, man. But I aint never heard anything stupid come out your mouth. What is it? Get your off your chest. Im down, Chuck. Real down. Really? What for? Im just, its just, Ive never You never what? Felt it. Felt what. I dont wanna say the word. Its too depressing. Hey, its a depressing world, man. Im used to it. So, you never felt what? Thethe L-word. The barbers eyebrows went up. You dont mean Yup, said Donnie. That L word. So, you never felt it, not even once. Ive never felt it, Ive never experienced it. I find that hard to believe. Youre nice and youre good looking. And damn you tip well. Youre obviously rich. Who tips $20.00 on a $12.00 buzz cut? I guess. You know what your problem is? Youre not meeting enough people. Bet youre a real shy, intellectual type. Am I right? Yeah. Sorta. You gotta go out and meet people. Meet women. Theyre everywhere. Go out to a club or a bar or disco or whatever they call it. Thats not really my thing. Make it your thing. I dunno I dont wanna force it. I want it to be organic. I want to come naturally. I want to fall head over heels. Heels over head. Thats what I meant. Well, whatever the saying is, man, you gotta get out there. I cant. I meanI can. I just have problems. The barber sat on the curb along with Donnie. Go on then, said the barber.

Well, said Donnie, Imparanoid. What you got to be paranoid about? Im rich. Dont brag. Im serious. Im rich. Im really rich. Thats great then. No, thats problem. The problem is Im rich. How do I know people are being genuine to me? How do I know they dont just want my money? You know, its ironic When I was younger, I thought becoming successful would help me find the L-word. But now that Im here, its actually made it more difficultcause now Im filled with paranoia. Every time I meet a woman, Im so goddamn skeptical. And that dont work out. Obviously, any relationship requires trust. So, you dont trust nobody. I trust some people. Me? Yeah. But no ladies. Yuuup. You know what you need to do? Let go. Take down that shield youre wearing. Open yourself up. Let yourself get hurt. Cause everyone gets hurt. You need to get hurt in order to find the right one. Its like when youre jumping hurdles, man, youre always gonna fall. You cant be afraid of falling, otherwise you wont race; and if you dont race, you wont finish. Its harder than it looks. Just try. Well A ring interrupted Donnie, which went something like ring-a-ling-ling. He and the barber looked behind themselves. A customer entered the barbershop. Nice talking to you, said the barber as he stood up. Cheer up. Then he returned to his shop to cut hair. Donnie stood too, and he put his hands in his pockets, and walked along the street. You have to be this fortress of manliness, and you're not allowed to show weakness. When a girl gets jealous, for example, that's fine. But when you do, it's because you're untrusting, and you're insecure, and there's something wrong with you. Well, whyd it have to be her? said Xavier. Couldnt you have picked anyone else? Why do you have to be such an asshole? Dont take your anger out on me, alright, said Donnie. Because youre not pissed at me. Yeah? Youre pissed at yourself. Youre pissed because you spent all your time running your dads fucking company and living under his shadow. Youre pissed because while you were buried under all that paperwork, going to all those stupid golf meetings, everyone was out living a normal life and having fun with their friends. Now you regret pissing away your moments. Youre goddamn angry because nobody loves youand the people you

care for barely know you exist. All that caring you have thats deep down inside somewhere is going to waste, along with your fucking mind. You know, you really know how to hit below the belt. Im not hitting below the belt. Its true, isnt it? No. Dont even try to lie to me. Youre really getting on my nerves. I feel sorry for you, pal. Maybe if your dad did a halfway decent job of raising you, youd have come out right. Now youre this insecure guy cause you were never anyones favorite. Xavier didnt reply with words. He just shot out his arm and punched Donnie right across the jaw. Donnie spit up some blood when he got up. Dont say you didnt deserve that, said Xavier. Know what? Im not gonna even retaliate. Donnie wiped the blood from his mouth. That so? Yup. Im just going to leave. Ive already won. I dont need to win again. You didnt win anything. Yeah, sure. Donnie left Xaviers apartment. Donnie finds he is not accepted as a white man Lives in Canada, returns to America Fuck you money. Tentative: Donnie Main Character Blake Donnies little Cousin with a bad streak, Donnie Is Trying to Mentor Him but he has a hard time, since he himself hasnt figured things out Jess Donnies Mom, raised him while single, feminist Xavier Donnies Rival, Raised by a wolf family, black sheep of the family, always looking for approval of dad, took over his company Bubba Emilys abusive ex, she cant get over him, guys a misogynist, indulges in all the vices, was sexually abused as kid, runs strip club, does smut Emily Love interest of Donnie, aspiring actress, wants kids and family but is living a life which is contrary to that Ted In the closet, in love with Donnie, best friend, settled down with Mia to be normal, Mia Married to Ted

Jack Ted and Mias kid Chuck Barber, old negro, spent time in prison for drugs Lee Donnies Driver, defacto best friend Chandra Indian lady at the convenient store, comic relief, lighthearted, jester, also has wisdom Donnie complained, I feel like a double minority here. Im black and a virgin. Great Quotes: to all men and women out there: stop fucking complaining that no one loves you. it's your own damn fault for not exactly trying hard to make yourself desirable. Most of your problems are self caused and im sick of hearing you guys blaming other ppl but yourself. -J.H. It's sad, but it's true. I wish I was born white because being black is like a curse. White women are the epitome of pure beauty, it's rare to hear someone say that they think that white girls are ugly, but being black, no race, hell not even black guys, thinks we're attractive. White women are the symbol of beauty that every minority race aspires to look like, and for some races, it's easier than others. Black women are low on the totem pole. Also I would love to be white because I wouldn't have to prove myself worthy, or dissprove a stereotype, because when you're white, you're just white. When you're black, the thought of how you appear to people is ALWAYS on your mind, because let's face it, black people have the worst stereotype ever next to Muslim people. When people first meet us, they assume that we're loud, angry, violent, foolish, bad tippers, and welfare lovers. I would love to not have to be under a stereotype 24/7. The thing that bothers me the most about being black is that so many people, you're not excused either Redditors, believe that we're stupid, loud, and ignorant people. It just gets under my skin when I see what people actually believe about us. /R/ You wanna be more insertive? You gotta be more assertive, bro. Girlsfemales arent delicate. You cant think of them as flowers. Theyre not. They might differ in some ways from men, but theyre made for durability. They can endure the pain of childbirth. They can push a human being out through their genitalia. Men cant do that. You put a little stone in his tubes and he crumples up. I dunno. Trust me on this one. I know about the ladies. Note: Woman should be comic relief.

-Casual abortions -Generation me -You want someone to take away all your fears and insecurities, you want that special person, wholl always greet you with open arms, and always make you feel wanted and good about yourself -But you also want that trophy girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband that you can show off to the world, so that you can get revenge, salvage your bruised ego from all those years ago, and show the world your own worth and what they missed out on -But the comfy person isnt the trophy girlfriend/boyfriend -Thats why guys always wind up with psychos and bimbos, and girls always end up with assholes and jerks; they cant decide what they want morethe person that makes them feel good inside, the one that makes them feel comfortable and warm, or that exciting person that can knock over a bowling pins with their looks -You, my friend, are in love with a trophy, and you dont even know it. An actress, Donnie? Thats the worst type of person to fall in love with. Right next to a crack addicted stripper. Seriously, I mean , they thrive off attention. They crave it. They love it. They are literally hooked on that shit. Have you ever heard, Fame is a drug? Makes em feel so good. And why wouldnt it? Who doesnt like the idea of strangers and acquaintances being in love with them? It pumps up the ego. So, just saying. You want someone whos sweet and kind and caringyou cant be with someone like that, whos involved in that industry. Find a chick that wants to raise a family and put pies on the window sill. Shell make yah feel good. Shell always be there for you, and she aint gonna constantly flirt with the camera or otherwise. -Hiding your feelings, being a man -Doing whats right -Letting them be happy, even if its at your own expense -Wanting someone who understands you, your flaws -Donnie loses his best friend of 20 years, because hes being selfish Things to avoid: Beginning Do not do him waking up. No great significance in numbers. Turning eighteen, thirteen, etc. But age can still be an issue.

Q&A (Persistence, plow through the pain, have respect for yourself, have confidence.) If you could have one magical item, what would it be? Some say a time machine. A time machine is useful, people think, because you can make mistakes and fix them. Or you can become astoundingly successful. But unbeknownst to many, there isnt a need for a time machine to do these things. You can become successful and you can fix your mistakes without it. Look at me. Im a multi-millionaire. But I used to live in a town full of drug

addicts, street walkers, alcoholics, and broken families. But I got out of that. I wont say that it was easyit wasntbut I got out of that. Now I am financially free. I can do whatever I want and more. There are no restraints on my life. Im living the dream. A hand raised. Do you honestly believe that? Or is this your way of just making more money. Donnie responded. I do honestly believe it. With all my heart. Everyone in this country, with enough determination, can have success. And to answer your second statement, no, I am not using this as my primary way to make money. All your ticket money is going toward a charity that is near and dear to me. And what is that? Youre just giving me a hard time with everything today, huh? Im curious. Unicef. I know, its kind of a catch-all thing. But its a good organization. So, lets cut to the chase, are you even happy with all that money? Hows that? You keep going on about your money, but I wanna know. Does all that money actually make you happy. It has its ups and downs. Mostly ups. Like what? Does anyone else have questions? No. Uh, well, lets see I dont have to worry about money. Thats the number one thing. I can buy anything I want. I can get into exclusive places. I get a lot of dates. Well, not that many, but enough in my opinions. And the downs? Some people will try to use you. Its annoying, but I guess it doesnt matter. Im smart enough that I can tell if someones being a phony. Do you run into a lot of phonies? Well, today I just ran into one phony. Oh yeah? Yeah. He kept asking me ridiculous questions to one up me. The room laughed at the question asker. Donnie smirked. He bowed, said his goodbyes, and finished his question and answer session. He went around the curtain and met with a college professor named SETTING: Detroit, Toronto Time: Not too distant future. Plot: None, other than self-discovery and clich epiphanies. Character Sheet/Chart Part Two: Donald Donnie Underwood Main Character Age: 31 Occupation: Serial Entrepreneur (like Richard Branson). Physical Description: Tall, dark (black), handsome. Values: Loyalty, love, intelligence.

Pros (Personality): Street smart. Money smart. Rich. Kind. Generous. Loyal. Loving. Humble. Down to earth. Not a show off. Cons: Extremely self-conscious. Very insecure. Sometimes paranoid. Gets emotional easily. Can be manic and obsessive. Sometimes falls for girls easily to his detriment. Hates himself. Sexuality: V-Card. Nearly everyone thinks otherwise. Family: Raised by single mother. Only child. Goals: Wants to help others, win Kates heart. Developments: Learns to love himself. Learns to ignore the superficial. Finds out whats important in life. Kate Witman - Main Character Age: 26 Occupation: Waitress, aspiring actress, ex-stripper. Values: Family, children. Physical: Extremely attractive. Slim Creamy white skin. Dirty blonde. Green eyes. Pros: Book smart. Readily forgives. Hard working. Independent. Good with children. Honest. Passionate. Cons: Somewhat nave despite age. Very flirtatious. Lots of male companions. Friends with ex(es). Desires fame and money. Somewhat judgmental when it comes to physical looks. Smokes. (Convinces Donnie to join with her.) Drinks. Sexuality: Slightly promiscuous. Family: Parents are divorced. Has younger half brother. Half brother is one of many reasons why parents separated. Relation to Donnie: Donnie is in love with her. Goals: Wants to become famous/an actress. Developments: Finds love in the end. Finds what she wants. Realizes what she wants when its too late. Teddy Tanner Age: 30 Occupation: Fireman. Values: Loyalty. Physical: Very slim, light skinned. Curly hair. Well dressed. Pros: Loyal. Cons: A bit needy. Not too outgoing. Shy. Sexuality: Closeted gay. Family: Came from relatively normal family, except dad (deceased) was homophobic. Relation to Donnie: Best friends since they were kids. Secretly in love with Donnie. Goals: Trying to come to terms with who he is. Developments: Commits suicide. Feels like no one cares for him, especially when Donnie ignores him for Kate. Aaron Xavier Jr.

Age: 31 Occupation: Businessman, Real Estate, Investing. Values: Control. Discipline. Love. (Secretly wants love.) Physical: Tall, dark, handsome, athletic. Pros: Extremely business savvy. Smart as a whip. Incredibly well rounded. Tough. Never gives up. Charming when he chooses to be. Cons: Too bullheaded. Has a temper. Extravagant. Sexuality: Normal. Maybe below average. Family: Mom and dad. Living under dads shadow. One older brother and one older sister. Relation to Donnie: After same woman as Donnie. Went to same university. Goals: Wants to prove father wrong. Wants to win Kates heart. Developments: Proves father wrong. But doesnt win his approval. Bitter sweet victory. Notes: Aaron Xavier helped Donnie start his business. Would not help his own son, because he believed that he was too young/stupid Aaron Xavier Sr. Age: 68 Occupation: Businessman, Real Estate, Investing. Values: Power. Control. Discipline. Money. Self-reliance. Independence. Physical: Short, very dark, not handsome at all. Wife is beautiful. Pros and Cons: Very similar to son, except he is not charming and not extravagant. (Racially mixed. Half black, half white.) Garrett Brown Age: 40. Occupation: Night Club Operator. Used to be a strip club. Values: Physical: White. Pretty muscular. Bald. Wears Ed Hardy T-shirts. Pros: Confident. Knows how to seduce women. (That can be bad or good.) Cons: Arrogant. Abusive. A real user. Cant take no for an answer. Sexuality: Straight guy always trying to prove hes straight. Very sexually charged. Thinks of women, people, as objects. Has lots of unprotected sex. Family: Adopted. Four brothers. Dad who cheated on mom. Relation to Donnie: Thorn in his side. Kates abusive ex-boyfriend. Always pulling her strings. Making her run back to him. Goals: Wants to open up a second night club. Developments: Gets HIV/AIDS. Gets his comeuppance. OTHER CHARACTERS Dr. Rose Wright Runs the skin changer clinic. Asian girl. Kind of a plain person. Does her job. Real down to business. 19 years old. Very smart. Prodigy.

Allison McLeod Donnies new confidant, his only female friend. She briefly used to work for him. She is a very normal person. She has a kid, who is 7. Math teacher. 34 years old. Lives across from Donnie. George McLeod Mayas husband. Also friends with Donnie. Donnie is a mutual friend. MUSIC teacher. 39 years old. Maximilian Homeless guy. Panhandles on the street corner. Kind of crazy, but has a few gems every now and then. Maybe in his 60s. Black. Long beard. Mixed ethnicity. Pearl Is Donnies secretary. Has a small crush. She follows him to run the homeless shelter. 29. Gopal Indian convenience store worker. A very spiritual person. Believes in karma. Believes that good things will come in life if you do good. 50s. Doesnt reveal his age. Jon Lee Chan Donnies driver, butler. Right hand man. (Donnie cannot drive.) 42 years old. Has a wicked sense of humor. Childless. Bob Hornbeck Feisty taxicab driver. Lulu Underwood Age: 49. Occupation: Retired. Physical Description: Cute. Curly hair. Values: Loyalty, love, intelligence. Independence. Pros (Personality): Kind. Generous. Loyal. Loving. Humble. Down to earth. Not judgmental. Cons: Slightly pessimistic. Sexuality: Normal. Jay Donnies druggie, pusher cousin. About 15 years old. Aunty Clarisse Jays deceased mom

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Plot, Outline:

Introduction. Donnie does a Q&A at a university. We learn about his life and his successes. Why he does what he does. This is a way to show the main character. Question of charity comes up. Donnie goes home on an airplane after finishing his hope tour. He returns to his manor. Gets a desire to help others after thinking about charity question. Wants to get in touch with his roots and give back to his old community, the one that he left. Not entirely sure. He wakes up. Butler/chauffeur offers him a ride, but instead he decides to go around for a walk (something he used to do a lot when younger) in his affluent neighborhood. When he gets tired he hears some yuppies talking about their problemsand it just hits him. He isnt one of them. Never has been. Hes been in a way living a lie. He visits his company and tells everyone at the board meeting that he is going to leave as CEO. He names a successor and decides that he wants to focus on charity and do philanthropic work. They go back and forth on the topic, and there is a bit of arguing, but not too much. Donnie goes to his office and packs his things. His office is very barren and there isnt much in it. There is no indication of him having close relationships with anyone at all. No photos. Seems his life is devoid of people. As hes packing up his stuff he meets with Pearl. Pearl is told what is happening. Its decided that she go to work for Donnies Charityonly until everything is set up. Donnie has an impromptu farewell party when he announces for everyone to take a break. They gather in the break room and have cake and coffee. He explains to everyone why hes doing what hes doing. Donnie goes home and calls his best friend Teddy to tell him that hell be coming to town. Teddy advises against is, but Donnie insists. They argue for a while. In the end Donnie convinces Teddy that it is a good idea. Teddy offers him a place to stay. Donnie takes a flight and returns to his old city. Before doing anything, before looking around, he meets with Teddy. Donnie catches glimpses of his old neighborhood and town as he is driving through. His old neighborhood, the one he grew up in, has become a real piece of work. It was falling apart when he left, but it was never this bad. It is basically one big ghettoalthough there are a few pockets of affluence (as always) and there are a few old haunts from childhood. The golf and country club (discovered later on). The cigar ad convenience store. The barber shop. And the supermarket which has become a place where drug addicts convene. Teddy shows Donnie around his home. Donnie however does not need a reintroduction. He remembers everything like it was yesterday. He sees the old TV set, the tables, and chairs, and sofa, and everything. Donnie gets a room upstairs. Teddy teases him and asks if everything is not up to his standard. Donnie tells him that hes trying to change and become a better/different man. Hes not going to be so materialistic. They have a chat and reminisce over tea and coffee.

Next day Donnie goes around the neighborhood, looking for places in which he can set up his charity. He wants Teddy to go along, but Teddy is a mechanic and has to go to work. So Donnie goes alone. He visits the convenience store. Finds there is a new owner named Gopal. He visits the barber shop and finds out that Chuck still works there. He goes to the supermarket and finds out its become a crack house. He goes to country club and finds out that its been totally abandoned. He wants to turn it into a homeless/temporary residency shelter. This is the place that kept out black people. He walks through the place and finds out that an old acquaintance of his owns the place: Aaron Xavier Jr. They were kind of rivals in university. Donnie calls up Aaron Xavier. Aaron tells them that they can meet up. So, Donnie takes the bus, and meets Aaron Xavier, somewhat late, at the specified location. The location is a construction site. Aaron is on a roof with a hardhat on. Donnie chats with him from below. Aaron asks Donnie what took him so long. Donnie explains that he got lost while trying to take the bus. He laughs. They exchange some ideas and memories. Donnie wonders why Aaron is at the construction site. Aaron explains that his father isnt doing so well, and that he is taking over some of his duties; hes being hands on; its trendy. (His company is working for the government, trying to rebuild the city, and revitalize it. Gentrification.)They decide to go for dinner. They take a limousine. At dinner Donnie meets with Aaron and his father Mr. Xavier. Mr. Xavier is in a wheel chair. They talk politics, business, the recession, and society, and the world in general. The atmosphere is a bit intense as Mr. Xavier constantly compares his son, Aaron, to everyone elseespecially Donnie. Both Donnie and Xavier meet Kate Witman, the beautiful waitress, when she spills a glass of soda onto Mr. Xavier. Mr. Xavier obviously gets angry and screams at her, making her cry. Donnie pretends to go to the washroom and he talks to Kate, and he apologizes, gives her a tip, and has a talk. She is an aspiring actress. She just returned from a horrendous audition in the next city over. Shes tired. Made a mistake. Apologizes. Donnie wants to get her phone number, but before he can he is interrupted by Aaron who is wondering what is going on. They all go back to the table and the dinner ends. The day after Donnie returns to the restaurant, specifically to look for Kate Witman. It turns out that Kate Witman was fired. She went to look for another job. Donnie tries to find out where she lives. He tries to sweet talk one of the employees to no avail. And to further no avail when he tries to use money. He gets thrown out of the restaurant, not literally, and meets someone outside. That someone is an acquaintance of KatesAllison McLeod. Allison, who is a math teacher, used to tutor Donnie in high school before he dropped out. Allison knows Kate from Yoga classes at the local gym in the more affluent part of the city. Allison knows why Donnie is interested in Kate, but she tries to warn him, subtlee, telling him that he is not her type. She points out her age of 26, Donnie is not dissuaded. He later calls up Kate and explains everything. Hes a bit nervous. He fumbles over his words. And is generally jittery and sweaty. Hes talked to girls before, women, but hes always been the nervous type. She seems very friendly although she doesnt remember him

from the restaurant. She is very kind. At the end of it all, with a lot of flirting, they decide to go on a date. Its pretty much a blind date. While Donnie is preparing for his night out, Teddy inquires as to what is going on. Donnie explains. Teddy seems butt hurt. But Donnie dismisses it and just thinks hes misreading his friend. He takes a taxicab to meet Kate for their date. The taxicab driver is Bob Hornbeck. Donnies surprised to see a white dude working a taxicab in this area. Bob says its tough times. Bob reminds Donnie of his butler back home Jon Lee Chan. He says that, and Bob says that all drivers got the same sense of humor after driving around so many people. You get all mixed up Donnie is reticent and he arrives at Kates place to pick her up. The two go to a movie theater (cinema). They try deciding what movie to see. There are so many shitty ones to choose from. Slasher. Horror. Torture porn. Action. And romance. Donnie suggests romance, but Kate suggests going for the action flick. They go in to see the action flick. The place is loud as hell. So many hooligans around. Donnie asks a group to keep their voices down. This results in a fight. Kate cant calm them down. Donnie gets walloped in the eye. He gets a big black eye. Cops are called. No charges are pressed. Donnie doesnt have the time to deal with that shit. He just goes home, puts on some ice, and focuses on getting his charity up and running. He does some paper work and contacts his lawyer to see if everything is on the up and up. The lawyerAlvin Steinsays that it will be a week or two, so blow off some steam. Donnie spends his time sorta moping around, wondering why Kate hasnt returned his calls, and his messages. He finally figures the date went bad, real bad. Hes pissed about the ghetto. He decides that hes too passive. Not manly enough. He looks in the phone book/directory, that is pretty old, and finds that theres a gym not too far. Something within walking distance. He goes there and signs up. He meets gym rat named Jess Kinder. Shes pumped and full of muscles, which is kind of off putting to Donnie. They discuss Donnies fitness goals, and what hes trying to accomplish. He becomes emasculated when he finds the amount of weight he can lift isnt very much. Actually, Jess can lift more weight than him. Donnie decides that hed rather lift weights at home. So, he goes to the department store so he can buy a set of weights. There he bumps into Allison and her husband George. They kinda take the piss out of him when they heard what happened. Donnie however actually has a pretty good sense of humour about the whole situation. He just blames what happened on the ghetto mentality. He says hes not used to these people. They part, Donnie buys his weights to a cashier who inquires about his black eye, and he goes out into the parking lot, where he again meets conflict. There is a skinny teenager harassing a woman. Donnie doesnt really know what to do. He tries to make up for last time. He gets into a verbal tussle and finds out that the teenager hes wrestling verbally is actually his cousinJay. Jay has a tattoo of two snakes on the back of his neck (ouroboros). The two come to an agreement. Jay returns the womans wallet. But hes pretty pissed about. He says that that woman owed him money for some

rocks. Donnie doesnt understand the lingo hes speaking and he has to have everything clarified. He asks what aunty Clarisse is up to. Clarisse is dead. Jay is living on his own. Hes in a gang. Out on the streets. Donnie offers help, but Jay refuses. He says that he doesnt want to impose. Jay offers Donnie some Chronic, but Donnie refuses. He says that stuff is bad. Drugs confuse the mind. Theyre dumb. He doesnt even do cigarettes or alcohol. All that is junk for your body. The two part ways. Donnies still waiting for his charity to be setup. To acquire the land. Meanwhile he is still feeling blue about Kate. He decides to go looking for other women. He goes dating with a few ladies, courtesy of Allison and George. They know an interested girl. Hes nervous. As usual. Hes still getting used to the idea of dates and dating, and being on the market, so to speak. He meets with Suzanne at a Jazz caf. She is a nice person, intelligent too, but a recent divorcee. She is still hung up on her husband. She is almost obsessed. This doesnt meet well with Donnies egoalso hes still interested in Kate. He talks about her too. A bit, even though he knows little about her. The two mutually partalthough some time later Donnie gets a call from Allison. He gets an earful for not hitting it off. He tries to explain himself. He goes on a few more dates to no avail. The real estate deal for the country club goes through, the place where the homeless shelter will exist. Donnie goes alone to visit. This is a place that long ago rejected him for his status. He looks around. Sees all the paintings of the frumpy white men, and the rich people that are probably all dead now. He finds a record player, turns on a little music, and decides to smash all the remaining objects inside. He does it until he is bushed, out of breath. Its all very satisfying. Construction of the homeless shelter is coming along. Donnie and Teddy go to visit. Pearl is there managing everything. She is overseeing operations. She is on the board. There are five parts: the food bank, the soup kitchen, residence, rehabilitation, and library. They tour around. Teddy asks why theres a library. Gotta feed the mind too, says Donnie. Donnies favourite book is: The Giving Tree. Teddy and Pearl have never read that. They go outside and have cigarettesexcept Donnie. He kinda just stands around. They talk about shit. Theres a lot of congratulatory talk. We find out that Donnie was raised by a single mother. We learn a bit more of his history. His fleeing the ghetto. Donnie tries to set up Teddy with Pearl. Donnie wonders why Teddy is single. Hes good looking and smart and everything. Donnie makes Teddy give Pearl his number. Donnie is satisfied, but still ignorant. Donnie and Teddy go home. Teddy tells Donnie to not set him up like that. Hes not a child and so and so. Donnie isnt sure why. They both go to bed after a mild argument. Some time passes where nothing much happens. Donnie is looking better and hes readying himself for the grand opening of the homeless shelteror as he calls it The Underwood temporary residency and help center. He dresses himself in a flash, in his best suit, and goes out and takes the bus. While on the bus he meets Kate. Kate looks like she is in no mood to talk. Donnie isnt sure if she will recognizes him. He sits beside her for a couple minutes. Its kinda awkward. Then he goes, KATE! Kate gets spooked and screams.

Kate starts hitting Donnie. But Donnie holds her hands and stops her. Kate, he says, its me. Kate takes a minute to think. Donnie says his name. She remembers him. He asks her if she got his messages. She says that she did, but she couldnt get to answering them, because she was very busy lately. Shes between jobs, trying to find steady work. She was recently evicted. Shes been staying at a friends place. (Ex-boyfriend. She doesnt say.) Donnie blurts out that he has his own place, its very nice, and that she can stay there. Kate goes, Yeah? But he dont have not no place of his own. So, he tells her that its being renovated he feels guilty for lying and says that itll be a week or so until its finished. He says to give him a call. The two depart. Kate gets off at her stop. Donnie gets to the homeless shelter for its grand opening. He goes to cut the ribbon with Pearl and company. Donnie breaks the news to Teddy and says hes moving out. Teddy asks why. Donnie says that he needs to make accommodations for a female. This for some reason hurts Teddy. Teddy says that theres plenty of space in his house. He insists that the both of them stay. There are three rooms in the house. But Donnie does not like that idea. Teddy starts getting defensive. Yeah! You and your money! You think youre so rich and great! Money doesnt buy happiness! Donnie gets miffed. Says, Ill pay you rent! Ten times what you can get! If thats what you want! Why are you being so hostile? Teddy refuses. Foine. Ghead. I dont want to live with a liar. Donnie leaves and goes for a walk. He calls Kate at a payphone, the presence of which surprises him. He tells her the truth. But he says that hes going to have a place soon, and that hed like to go house shopping with her. Kate, being the sort who is into design and architecture and houses, agrees to go along. They go home shopping. The areas that Kate suggests are all the rich, affluent areas. The other side of the tracks the better part - in the literal sense. Donnie just wants to find something cheap and temporary after all he wont be living there that long so he suggests going a bit downscale. He reverses the suggestion when he sees that Kate is turned off. They look in their paper. They go to a street known for being posh and go into a manor which is having an open house viewing. It is very luxurious, even for Donnie. The REAL ESTATE agent brings them in as a couple is leaving. The agent, BRENDA, assumes that Donnie and Kate are married. They arent, but neither Donnie nor Kate corrects her. The house/mansion has all the usual stuff and a lot of extras, which Kate finds intriguing, more so than Donnie. There is an indoor pool, a spa, a bar, a cinema (movie theater), a lounge, and gift wrapping room. So what do you think? says Brenda. Its nice place, but there is one thing, says Donnie. I noticed outside there are no gates or high walls. Thats unusual for such a lofty area. If youre worried about security this is a very safe area. The cops do a ton of extra patrolling around these parts. But why cant we have gates? The community decided that gates and high fences are inappropriate and unsightly. So, youre not allowed to have them. You

can get a copy of the Covenants, Conditions, and Restrictions from the Homeowner Association and see their rules, if you want. Never mind. I guess we dont need gates for security. Its not like were famous or important or anything like. Alright. Sooo, would you like to discuss matters in private? Yes. That would be nice. Donnie and Kate step outside. Kate is excited a Phuc. She excitedly and at the time reluctantly tells him to get it. Its her dream home. It just looks amazing. Donnie doesnt want to spend much money. He could, but hes a frugal kind of guy. In the end he caves, which doesnt take long. The deal closes some days later when Donnie contacts his lawyer ALVIN STEIN. Donnie is packing his things. Teddy looks damn sad. Donnie and Teddy talk of course; Teddy convinces Donnie not to leave. They have a flashback to their childhoods. And Teddy says that hes been feeling depressed lately, and having Donnie with him helps lift the mood. He has no friends really and his family is way. Its lonely. (Says this in a sorta manly way.) And Donnie is like his brother. Donnie compromises and says hell buy the house next door. Teddy says thats not possible. The old man next door Mr. Earwood is really stubborn. Damn stubborn actually. Donnie accepts the challenge. He takes Teddy along and the two go to the grocery store which has survived the recession. They meet TILDA WATTS; she still owns the place, but Mr. Watts has passed. What we here for? asks Teddy. Donnie replies, To sweeten up Earwood. Then they go around buying the most expensive things that they can. There arent really many expensive things, but they try. They fill up a few baskets and get it to the check out. As they are waiting in line a suspicious looking man comes through the front door, making the store chimes ring. He browses around the snacks and then goes up to the checkout and pulls out a gun. Tilda doesnt look scared. She isnt afraid. Shes actually quite angry. Im not giving you anything! she says. The robber looks at her like shes crazy. Dont you see what I have in my hand? I pull it and youre dead. They bicker for a while. When the robber tries to go for the register, Tilda struggles, and gets shot. Only in the arm. She doesnt die, but its certainly frightening. The robber flees. Donnie and Teddy call the ambulance while everyone else is frozen. Donnie and Teddy go to visit Mr. Earwoods house just next door they knock. They have groceries and all that. But no answer. Teddy is suspicious. He checks around and looks in the window. He goes back to the front door with Donnie. They knock some more and more. Then they ring. And ring. They scream. They yell. Other neighbors are starting to look. Teddy takes a brick and smashes it through the window. He reaches his hand in and opens the door. Jesus Christ, says Donnie. Two guys like us smashing a window. You know what that looks like? They both go in anyway. There is a foul odor afoot. They go in and follow the horrible stench. They go into the basement and spin the chair and find that Mr. Earwood is dead and bloated and rotten and stinking. They noticed the piles of boxes lying around, and old newspapers. He was definitely a hoarder. Well, says Teddy. Least you can buy the house now. I think Im going to throw up.

Donnie is helping Kate to move furniture into the mansion. Its too bad, she says, that you chose not to live here but I have to admit I enjoy the extra space. The last place I lived in was a real shit hole Youre so nice. I dont even know why youre moving my stuff. Seems like me you couldve just stayed at home and hired some help. Still I appreciate it. Donnie smiles at Kate. He says hes just hands on. Likes doing man stuff. (Hes moving her stuff for obvious reasons, so he can spent time with her. Hes also wearing a muscle t-shirt to show off his arms.) As he is pushing an armoire across the floor, with quite some difficulty, something falls out of his pocket. Kate picks it up its a gun. Shes shocked. Surprised. Donnie tells her that he needs protection. Its for a good reason. Kate informs him its still dangerous. She tells him to put it away. He says no that the city is a dangerous shit hole. Everyone here is a brute. Theyre animals. Dirty animals. They go back and forth. Donnie gives in and goes into the kitchen, with Kate, and places his gun into a drawer. There, he says. Do you feel safe now? Kate nods. Donnie asks Kate if shed like to go out some time on a date. Theres a new coffee house opening up. Kind of a jazzy thing. Kate says shell think about it. Friday. Shes pretty busy. Really? says Donnie. Yup, says Kate. He leaves, thinking that they have a date. He gives Kate his new phone number. Donnie is at home-his new home, beside Teddys place- and hes sitting by the phone, reading a book, waiting. He receives a call. Its not from Kate, rather its Pearl. Pearl says they need more money for the homeless shelter. Its rampant with people and they need food. Donnie says hell write a cheque. He hangs up and waits some more. He puts down his book and gets another. He gets a call. Not from Kate again, rather its from George. George is calling on behalf of Allison. He asks if he wants to join them for an early dinner. Donnie says that hes busy Kate is going to call him up. Allison takes the phone from George and talks to Donnie. He warns her, again, that Kate is not for him. He disagrees. They bicker for a bit. So you gonna come or not? says Allison. Donnie reluctantly agrees. The three of them go to that new jazzy caf. Its a nice place, in the rich part of town. They get a really good seat when one of the doormen recognizes Donnie. Donnie and Allison and George get a table right by the jazz band. They talk about music and for some reason politics. The waiter isnt coming to their table, so Donnie gets up to go to the washroom. As he is waiting in line he notices someone that looks like Kate. It is Kate! She turns away, trying not to be noticed. But Donnie spots her. He loses his place and goes to talk to her. He wonders what shes doing there. He thought she was busy. Kate says that she is busy. She had to come here, to the jazz caf, to meet with a director. Donnie inquires what sort? A movie producer, she explains. She says that shes going to get a big part in a movie and she needs to show her value. (Shes actually going to sleep with him, but Donnie doesnt suspect.) She says it came up last, last minute.

The director, a European looking fellow, named Pierre puts his arm around Kate. Then his hand on her butt. Donnie cant see. Whats the problem here? asks Pierre. Donnie says that he is a good friend of Kates and that hes just having a chat with her. Pierre tells him to go away; shes going to become a famous actress soon and doesnt have time for his type. What do you mean my type? says Donnie. Pierre has such a strong snobbery. You know, he says, your type. Lazy, slow. Dont make me explain. Donnie at this point wants to lay the smack downbut he obviously isnt that type. Allison appears and is surprised to see Kate. They say hello to each other. Kate introduce Pierre. She says that Pierre is a director and talks abut what he does. He does art house films. They exchange pleasantries for a bit. Donnie is then pulled away by Allison. She sees that Donnie is p/oed. He explains that he and Kate were supposed to go on a date; he also says dont say I told you so. Allison and George and Donnie sit at their table. Someone playing jazz recognizes him. Hes called up and goes on stage. Allison sways along while talking to Donnie. She tries to imply that Kate is a loose girl and a gold digger. Youre letting that girl live in your palace and she dont even have time for you!? Donnie disagrees of course. He looks in the distance and glances at Kate who is majorly flirting with Donnie. Touching, fluttery eyes, all that. He tells Allison good bye, says he forgot that he has some things to do, and leaves a pile of money on the table. Donnie finishes his work out. As hes getting up the doorbell rings. He goes to answer it. Teddy asks if he can borrow a cup of sugar-jokingly. Teddy and Donnie go to watch a boxing match on TV. Teddy imitates the boxers. He sees Donnie moping, looking sad, asks what the problem is. Donnie says its Kate. Teddy tells Donnie to ignore Kate to get her attention. Says hes not giving her that much attention, plus thats stupid. (Supply and demand, you should know. Scarcity.) Teddy gets up and starts walking away. Donnie goes after him and asks what hes doing. Teddy proves his point about women. Donnie, who talks to Kate on the phone a lot, and messages her a lot, agrees to not do that anymore. He decides to not be a nice guy. Donnie marks off days on his calendar. He grumbles to himself about not being able to talk to Kate. And hes annoyed that she hasnt called him. Hes pacing up and down his house when theres a ring. He goes to answer nonchalantly, not thinking its anyone important. Its Kate. She asks Donnie where hes been and why he hasnt called. He just says hes been busy. What about you? Kate says shes been busy too. Real busy. And shes in a good mood. She got the part for a theatre play. A small role but still important. She asks Donnie to visit her place--er, his placeand have some celebratory champagne. Donnie explains that he doesnt drink. Not after that one night he had when young. Kate tells him to come over anyway. Donnie gets off the phone. He goes outside and glances at Teddy in the window and wave. He gives a thumbs up. He then leaves and goes to see Kate. He gets to the mansion and lets

himself in. Of course he has the keys. He gets in and sees Kate sitting next to Aaron Xavier Jr. (Hes light skinned but not exactly black.) She has his hand on his knee. The two stand up immediately. Kate does the usual greeting. Aaron and Donnie question each other. What are you doing here? They kind of glare at one another. The three sit down by a fire and have some champagne. Kate is in the middle. Donnie tries to calm down. He asks about her part in the play. Kate says that shes playing the part of a siren. She gets to go in costume and sorta looks like a mermaid. They chit-chat for a bit, then it gets late, and Aaron and Donnie leave Kates place. Aaron takes Donnie aside and tries to intimidate him. Lay off my girl, Underwood, he says. Shes mine and I know what youre up to. Of course Donnie disagrees and wont take to bullying. The two depart on sour terms. Donnie is at the homeless shelter. Hes in the kitchen behind the counter. Hes serving soup in a very hostile manner. Pearl puts her hand on Donnies shoulder. Whats the matter? This aint Oliver Twist. Donnie says nothing, but Pearl knows better. She keeps probing him until he says whats on his mind. Donnie grumbles, complains about Aaron Xavier. Pearl says that hes worrying too much. He dont know whats going on in Kates mind. After some convincing he agrees. He steps outside for some fresh air. As hes standing around a homeless man taps him on the shoulder. He asks for some money. Donnie looks in his walletthere are only credit cards. How about a cheque? he says. The homeless man/bum says forget it. Donnie takes off his gold watch and gives it to the homeless man. Very generous of you, he says. How much is it worth? Enough, says Donnie in a tired tone. Bum says that Donnie sounds really grumpy for a guy with a $10,000 watch to give away. He says that he should be happier. Hes very successful. Donnie disagrees and says that money isnt everything. Whats nothing to you is everything to another, says the bum. Maybe, says Donnie. He starts heading back to the homeless shelter. He pauses and turns around. The bum is gone. But the watch is still on the ground. Donnie picks it up and returns it to his wrist. Donnie goes over to Teddys house and asks to borrow some hair gel to straighten his untamable hair. Teddy asks what the occasion is when seeing Donnie in a blazer. Donnie says that hes going to see Kates play. She invited you? asks Teddy. No, says Donnie. Im gonna surprise her. He gives Teddy a palm slap and then leaves. He goes to the flower shop to see if he can pick up some flowers. He looks and sees that its closed. The stores close time is 6:00 PM. Donnies watch reads 5:50 PM. He looks in and sees the owner. Donnie taps on the glass. The owner mouths, Go away -- your dirty criminal. Donnie is offended but tries to negotiate his way in. It doesnt work. He gets back into his car and drives to the hydrogen gas station. He hassles the clerk when he can only find a partly wilted bouquet. This is all you got!? Take it or leave it. Donnie takes it reluctantly. He leaves and heads to the theater house. Hes pretty late. He runs for the door just as the doorman is closing it. I gotta get in there,

pal. The doorman looks at Donnie with his flowers. Alright. And he lets him in. Donnie is grateful. He snakes his way through the dark and finds his spot at the front. The curtains open right after. The play starts out as some sort of Greek tragedy then it gets raunchy. Everyone starts throwing off their clothes, and they all become half naked. Rock music plays. Theres screaming and jumping and back flips and stunts. Nauseating lights are introduced. Donnie has no idea whats going on. Many acts pass and theres no Kate. Then at the last act Kate appears. She meets a sailor and then is stabbed to death. Her blood splashes onto the audience. The curtains close. All the people clap although Donnie doesnt understand why. Nevertheless he joins. He gets up and goes through a door marked employee only. He goes down a hall and finds Kate. He knocks on a door marked Kate. He opens the door. Kate is sitting on someones lap. The man gets up when Donnie comes in and leaves. What was that all about? says Donnie, worried. Nothing, says Kate. Hes just a friend. What are you doing here? Donnie is suspicious but clams up and gives Kate his bouquet of flowers. She tells him to put it by the pile of other bouquets. He does. Kate asks how she was in the play. Donnie lies Great, he says. Donnie turns around while Kate changes. Donnie offers Kate a ride home. No thanks, she says. Im going with someone else. The two walk outside together. Donnie watches Kate climb into a car with yet another guy. Just a friend, he repeats to himself, and then he goes home with a worried look. Thats all he is. Next day. Donnie is sitting at home, moping around. He decides to do some work to get his mind of Kate. He sits by his roll top desk and opens it. There are a bunch of pictures of Kate. He takes them and puts them into a corner, so that he cant see them. As he is writing a letter he stands up when he hears a noise. He goes to the window and sees that there is a scuffle outside. There are three boys going against one. Donnie picks up the phone and is about to call the cops, but he decides that hell go outside and help. He goes out. He sees that its his cousin Jay. Jay gets knocked over and gets slugged in the face. Theyre screaming at him, something like, Give us back our money. Donnie tells them to knock it off. He offers to pay back the debt. The debt is something like $200. Youd kill someone over $200? They say yeah and leave. Donnie helps up Jay. Jay is grateful. Donnie asks why he owed money. Jay says that it was for some weedbut that was a long time ago. Hes stopped now and hes gone straight. He has a real job now. He works at a place called Shakeys Bottom. Its a strip club. Jay invites Donnie, says that he can get him free lap dances. Donnie refuses, absolutely refuses. Jay leaves the offer on the table and leaves. Donnie visits his homeless shelterand finds Kate behind the counter serving food. He wonders what shes doing there, hes glad, and thinks its because of him. Kate greets him with a hug. Donnie inquires. Kate says that shes trying to do some good and show the

world that she cares. Kate and Donnie, at Kates behest, take a photo together of them helping out. Donnie stands by Kate, helping her. They chat. Donnie asks what shes been up to. She says that shes got a new job thats related to acting. Whats the job? She doesnt answer and tries to change the topic. Donnie presses Kate for a date this week (doesnt say that). Kate says that shes got a lot on her plate. Aside from her job, which is night shift, shes got auditions to do, and shes gotta have a dinner with her dad, and then her mom because theyre divorced and she has to work on a bunch of other miscellaneous projects. Kate gives in. She specifies a date, and time, and then agrees. Where? she says. Donnie isnt sure. He takes a moment to think. He says itll be a surprise. Donnie picks up Kate in a fancy car. He sees a figure in the window from the mansion who looks like Aaron Xavier - but brushes it off and continues along. Where we going? asks Kate. To a French restaurant, says Donnie. You like French food? Its okay, says Kate. Some time passes. Kate is annoyed and then confused when she and Donnie arrive at an airport (a private airport). He opens the door and lets her out. They are escorted to a private supersonic jet. They go inside. Where are we going? says Kate again. Kate and Donnie fly to Paris. Kate rubs her eyes and is astonished to be in Paris. The two get off the plane to an awaiting carriage. The driver kisses Kate on the cheek, which sort of annoys Donnie. They tour around Paris and then Donnie and Kate go to their hotel. Donnie does not tip the carriage driver. Kate asks why. Because he kissed you. They go into the luxury hotel. Immediately they are attended to. Their bags, the few that there are, are taken up. They go into the hotel and have drinks from the mini fridge. This is part of Donnies plan to seduce Kate, but then she passes out. Exhaustion. Morning comes. Donnie and Kate go to a restaurant in the Eiffel Tower. Isnt this nice? says Donnie. Is this your fist time in France? No, says Kate. Aaron too me here before. Donnie almost chokes on his macaroon. He starts to brag, which Kate finds annoying. The night ends on a down note. Kate and Donnie are packing their bags in their hotel. As they are about to leave Kate kisses Donnie on the cheek and tells him that she appreciates everything hes done for her. Things seem to be going well for Donnie and Kate. The two are on another date (?) holding hands. This time they are on a beach, walking along the boardwalk. They are just talking about their past and a bunch of normal bullshit. They take off their shoes and walk in the sand together. When they get to the water Donnie tries to go for a kiss on Kate. But she pushes him away. Sorry, I, I cant, she says. Well, I dont want to. Donnie is confused once again. He tries to go for it again. Again Kate pushes him away. I just want to be friends! she says.

Donnie is embarrassed. He gets up and goes to the washrooms. He is just pissed off. Damn confused once again. As he is going to the washroom he bumps into a really big guy in crappy clothes Garrett says, Watch it! Donnie shouts back. They get into a screaming match until Kate appears and intervenes. She knows that guy. It turns out its her boss and friend. Donnie and Garrett are forced to shake hands. (Garrett is actually Kates ex boyfriend.) They exchange some words. Donnie is really pressing Garrett. Wants to know who he is, what he does, etc. Garrett doesnt reveal much just says he owns a club (strip club), and Kate works there. Doing what? he asks. Helps with the entertainment, he replies. Donnie takes Kate away and he chews her out for being friends with such a loser. Kate of course defends Garrett, saying that hes helped her out a lot. Donnie kind of quiets down. There is a long silent drive. Donnie stops at the gas station and returns with flowers. He gives them to Kate and apologizes. She accepts. She is a hoor for flowers. Donnie also makes another offer which makes Kate rolls her eyes. He says that she can quit her job and work for him easy peasy. But she says he gives her too much and also she doesnt want to give up her independence entirely. She needs to be more independent. They further argue. So you wanna be independent, huh? says Donnie. But live in MY home? Kate gives silence. Donnie is in bed. He is holding his pillow and kissing and going, Oh, Kate. I love you. I love you so much. This is one of his stranger behaviors, along with finding any woman that looks a bit like Kate attractive. Then the phone beside rings and wakes him up. He spits out a feather from his mouth. Its nearly four in the morning. He rubs his eyes and goes to answer it. Its Pearl. She says that theres been a fire at the homeless shelter. He gets up and goes to visit it. There he sees the wreckage of his philanthropic dreams. Pearl puts a hand on his shoulder. Gonna head home? No, says Donnie. Im going to stay here until everything I set out to do is done. Pearl shrugs her shoulders; either way she doesnt care. Donnie, while helping to fix the homeless shelters (aesthetically), meets with Aaron Xavier. Aaron asks what happens. Though still angry, Donnie answers, Hot cigarette fell on the drapes. Aaron expresses his sympathies. He says that he can help out. Donnie refuses. Why not? says Aaron. Why are you being so controlling? Let someone in the real estate biz help you. Donnie ignores Aaron and continues painting. Aaron leaves. Before he does he says something really bad. Are you Kates boyfriend? he asks. No, says. Well, he replies, thats good. Because I kissed her on the lips. I hope she didnt mean anything to you. He walks away, leaving Donnie mad as hell. Donnie finishes up and gets on the phone with Kate. He keeps ringing her up. And ringing her up. He gets leave a scathing message on her voice box. It is real scathing. Its desperate and sad. He just wants to know why? Am I not good enough? He pep talks himself and decides that it isnt over. He thinks that he should be more romantic. So, he spends his time writing a nice letter. He writes the letter to her and drops it in the mailbox.

He cant get in contact with Kate now. Shes not even at the mansion. He gets bummed out and stalks Aaron Xavier. He catches the two canoodling on the street. He watches and watches. He wipes his tears, and then he goes to confront them. Why? Why? Why? Aaron can see that Dons been crying. He feels smug. Kate explains that it isnt anything serious. They are just casually dating. Seeing each other. Donnie explodes emotionally and storms off. Kate tries to go after him but Aaron holds her arm. Let im go. The better man won. Donnie looks in his mailbox and sees that there is not reply letter from Kate. He gets consternated and annoyed and he goes to his/their mansion. He goes inside and goes into her room. He rifles through her things. He takes pause and asks himself what hes doing. Then he continues. He looks in the trash bin and sees an envelope and something crumpled up. Its his letter that he sent. He throws it back in and goes downstairs. He goes into the kitchen and goes into the cupboards and grabs a bottle of alcohol. He puts some in a glass and spits it out because of the taste. He wipes his mouth and slams the bottle down. At this moment Kate comes in. She wonders what hes doing there. He lies and says that he came to surprise her. For what reason? No reason. Just wanted to hang out. Why? Just because. Friends! Alright. Were going to hang out tonight. Im going to take out eight. Kate is reluctant but is a bit afraid of Donnie an accepts. Later Donnie picks up Kate and they drive along an area of the city thats being rebuilt gentrified. They stop at a small Chinese restaurant, which is beside a strip club. Kate appears nervous. Donnie doesnt seem too concerned. She asks to go elsewhere, but he says hes made reservation. They two go in and take a spot away from the window on Kates insistence. They eat. They have a chat. They leave the restaurant quite late. As they are walking they bump into Garrett who is outside having a smoke. Kate tries to quickly get into Donnies car, but Garrett sees her and calls her. He goes over to her, much to the shu-grin of Donnie. So, you working tonight or what? he asks. I dont know, says Kate. Im thinking of quitting. You cant quit. Its a stupid job. I never intended on staying their for long. What you dont like being a whore? Donnie gets angry. Dont call her a whore! Garrett presses, What? She isnt a whore? She takes off her clothes for money. I think that fits the definition. What are you talking about? Oh, you dont? Your little friend here is a stripper. She has daddy issues. Kate gets angry, starts swearing. Garrett doesnt care. He finishes his cigarette and returns to the strip club. Donnie and Kate get into the car. They dont even drive. Donnie is so perplexed, angry, disappointed. Well, drive! says Kate. I dont get it, says Donnie. Why are you doing that? I needed the money and I didnt want to beg for it from my parents. You couldve came to me. I already rely on you too much, Im not going to use you anymore. Im not a gold digger, contrary to what everyone thinks. You have to quit. Im not quitting. Why, why the hell not? Are you nuts? Ill give you a goddamn job if you wanna stand on your own two feet. Stop treating me like a baby. I dont need you to coddle me. Gimme some space to breathe! You want some space? Get out of the car? And get out of my fucking life! Fine. No, damn it. Stay in here!

Kate steps aside and starts. Donnie follows along. He tries to convince her to return. She says nothen decides to reverse. Donnie follows her once again, and she goes into the strip club. Donnie tries to follow but a bouncer named Troy, way larger than him blocks his way. He returns to his car and leaves. Donnie is in his backyard burning off energy. He is grumbling while hitting a standing heavy bag. He is imagining that he is fighting Garrette and Xavier and all the men that he hates. Hes grumbling to himself how theyre this and that, and how Kate is such a whore slut. As hes doing so Teddy appears in the window of his own home; he is staring. Donnie stops and looks up at his friend. (Jokingly.) Whats the matter? Never seen a kung fu master before? Teddy leaves his room and joins Donnie. He asks what the matter is. Donnie says that he would not understand. Try me, says Teddy. Donnie has a hard time. Kate is a dancer an exotic dancer, he says. Then why are you angry? Because I hate her. Do you really? I dont know at this point. Youre angry at her because she isnt what you thought she was, arent you? Well, what the fuck is her problem! Teddy appeals to Donnie and says that when you love someone you must love them unconditionally. You cannot force them into your standards. As long as the person you love is happy then that is what should matter. Donnie disagrees and then finishes his angry work out. (He agrees to disagree. Love must be earned, and you must respect people.) Hey, Im done. What are you doing tonight? says Donnie. Im going out, says Teddy. Ill come. No. Thats not a good idea. Why not? Are you not my best friend? I would just prefer to go alone. Alright fine maybe Ill spend my time doing something productive. Donnie is sitting alone in his room. He is just sitting, staring at the wall. Hes angry. Confused. Sad. He talks to himselfthere are two parts to himlike hes got a split personality disorder. He comes to the conclusion that he should get Kate out of his life. Shes not the woman for him, vice-versa, etc. He decides to purge her from his life. He gets up and goes to his closet, which is creepily a shrine for Kate. He realizes that he is sick. He takes all the mementos of her and disposes of them by fire and shredder and any way that will help his anger. Donnie walks around the park, which is being renovated with his philanthropic help. There are workers wearing vests that have the words Underwood Foundation. He smiles at all the ladies who pass him. Hes not attracted to any of them, but he puts on his charm. He chats up a pretty lady named Loraine They get to talking, but the conversation keeps turning into Kate talk. Loraine gets the red flags and she declines and invite from Donnie. Donnie goes away, disappointed in himself. He beats himself up mentally/verbally. He

takes a rest on a bench and sits forward. He becomes resolute in moving on and finding someone else. Donnie goes to a hall and does speed dating he sits down with the first girl. (Its described to him as a chat room.) They both say that they saw the idea from a movie. They have a superficial chat. Nothing superficial. But the girls are attracted to him, because they know who he is. They all start gathering around and he becomes self-conscious. One girl grabs him and takes him to the toilet. Why? He doesnt know. They go in and the girl puts her legs up and kisses his neck. Donnie gets scared. Really scared. He gets out of the stall and exits to the outside. In the alley he collapses to his bottom. He grabs his hair. Donnie decides that he doesnt need human companionship. He goes to the mall, which is pretty dead, and he goes to the pet store. He looks the dogs in their glass boxes. He feels sorry for them. So he buys them and releases all of them except one. He names his dog Hoser. Donnie introduces his dog Hoser to Teddy. He asks Teddy if he wants to go out and go woman huntingBe my wing man, he says. Teddy looks tired. No, he replies, I cant do that. Doesnt know how. Donnie says that Teddy is a good looking guy, would make a great wingman, hes charming etc. Teddy just flat out refuses. Then he retreats into his house, but not before saying, Make sure your dog doesnt crap on my lawn please. Donnie dials for Maya, but actually to talk to George. He asks George if he wants to hang out. George says that hes got too many things to domarking papers. Donnie say okay, then goes on his way. He takes Hoser for a walk around the city. He has no plan in mind, he just goes wherever, which takes him to the bad part of the city. He sees some teens stealing the rims off a car. He decides that he needs to leave, so he finds a barbershop and asks for directions. Chuck convinces Donnie, who has a beard, to have a shave and cut first. Donnie is worried, but accepts. He leaves Hoser inside the store. Chuck finds out whats worrying Donnie. Donnie talks about Kate, how hes lonely, how shes astripper. (Topics: Nobodys perfect. Unconditional love. Always love them no matter what.) Chuck relates to him with a story of his own, and convinces Donnie to give her a second chance. But Donnie says that even if he did move past that, she wouldnt ever want to be with him. Chuck says that you gotta fight for things you love. Love aint easy. Its painful, hard to find. Thats why most people dont find it. The morning. Donnie is in a suit. He rushes out of the house with Hoser. He goes over Teddys place and knock on the door. Teddy, you awake? He knocks and knocks. I need someone to take care of Hoser while Im out. No response. Donnie get belligerent. He looks under the mat and finds a key. He uses it to open the door. He brings in Hoser, makes him sit, and then calls for Teddy. Teddy!!! Does he have work? I dont think so. He looks around and goes upstairs and then in the basement. Donnie finds Teddy in a small room, on a couch, with a breathing apparatus around his mouth; a gas canister is feeding him nitrous oxide. Teddy has committed suicide. There is a note by his side. It says shut off the gas. Donnie does that. Then it says something about why he killed himself though it isnt specific. Donnie is mentioned.

Donnie sets up a funeral for Teddy and then goes there to attend. (Everyone attends.) He says a speech as his best friend. He meets Teddys homophobic dad. They almost get into a spat. Donnie sees Katewho is with yet another man. This man is all hands. Donnie gets Kate away from him and he has a talk to her, about how hes been to judgmental of her. Kate says that theres nothing to worry about, shes got a new job Donnie is pleased enough. He tells Kate that hes going to take up stay in their mansion. Kate protests, despite it not being her place, and Donnie persists. He says its his and that he cant live in his old house with those memories. Kate offers to take Donnies old placesays too shell pay rent this time. Oh, now youre offering to pay rent? What, have you suddenly acquired a job thats as lucrative as stripping? Whatre you a hooker now? Kate gives Donnie a death stare, but hes still cool. I dont care that youre angry. Im still moving in with you. A moving truck sits on the driveway. George has been helping Donnie set up his furniture. George is very impressed. Donnie him a gives a tour of the mansion, which isnt much of a tour at all since he also is new to the place. The two are bored and havent much to do. Donnies done already done work for his shelter, which is almost fully repaired, and George has got the day off, and Maya is at her moms. The phone rings, but before Donnie gets to it the answer machine picks up. Its Aaron and his message is, well,naughty. Donnie is annoyed. He convinces George to go with him and egg Aarons house. They do after Donnie bribes him. Donnies house gets sold by his realtor. Some days later. Donnie is cleaning the mansion. Hes got on a bandana and is sweeping. Kate, whos woken up late, comes down and sees him. She asks him why hes cleaningwhy dont you just hire a butler? He explains that he doesnt want to get lazy. Hes been to lazy. He needs to get dirty again. Plus he already has a Butler back home. Doesnt want to spend more money. Kates incredulous. And whats he doing? Just holding down the fort. Doing his own projects. Thats ridiculous. Make him work for his money. Hes worked for a long time. Im letting him be. So we got this big mansion to clean while you have a butler on the pay role doing nothing? Donnie says maybe and its left at that. Donnie asks Kate why shes up so earlyits nooonshe says shes going out to do some work. What work? Dont act suspicious. Its a photo shoot. Im doing modeling. Im a model now. Im not a stripper anymore okay, so stop being judgmental? Alright. Kate goes to Donnie and adjusts his bandana caringly and then leaves. Some minutes later Donnie hears a ring at the door. He looks out, suspiciously, and notes the mailman. He opens the door and signs for a large package, from Aaron Xavier. He takes it inside to the living room and opens it. Theres a note that says I know what you did. But I forgive you. The package is full of pictures of Kate kissing other men, including Aaron. Donnie starts crying immediately. He covers his face because hes embarrassed to be crying. He doesnt want anyone to see. With one hand still on his face, he takes the pictures, and put them into the dustbin. He needs to clear his mind, so like usual he goes for a walk. He takes Hoser and walks around. He goes down a woody path that leads into a small forest. Man

made probably. He winds around and ends up at the other end. He is on a street called Foster Road. He turns a corner and finds people picketing outside. Donnie asks whats going on. Protestor tells him that they are protesting the clinic. Why? Is it an abortion clinic? No. Go see for yourself. Donnie goes over to the clinic called the sunshine clinic, he gets past the crowd and bumps into the doctor. Dr. Rose Wright. Whats going on? What is this place? Its a place where we do aesthetic modification. What? We change skin color of peopleamongst other things. You change peoples races? Technically no. You want my card? What? No. Dr. Rose puts a business card into Donnies front pocket. He leaves with Hoser. Donnie has a brief chat with Pearl at the homeless shelter, which is now completely fixed. There he meets the mayor of the city, FRANKLIN Frank Ford. Frank is impressed with Donnie. Donnie gives him a few kind words too. Donnie leaves and goes to a convenience store. He meets Omar the clerk. He gets to talking about Kate. Omar says that Donnie. should confess his feeling for this woman, rather than bottling them up. Omar pushes flowers on Donnie to make a sale. Donnie buys them and leaves. The day is somewhat late. Donnie goes into the mansion, with flowers, and notices two pairs of shoes and a jacket that he doesnt recognize. He calls for Kate and gets no response. He looks around and bumps into his butler, JOHN Lee Chan. I came here as soon as I could, says John. I heard you were having a mental break down. And Teddy died. What? says Donnie. Noabout the break down. Who called you here? Kate. Your housemate? Oh, that Kate. You dont need to listen to her. Why not, dont you love her? John! Damn it. Okay. Where are you staying? Guest wing. Right. Im going up. Ill be back down in a minute. Donnie, flowers in hand, stands in the hallway and thinks what hes going to say. Then he goes to Kates room, as he is about to knock he hears a sound. He puts his ear against the door and hears Kate having sex. His eyes start getting watery, but he doesnt cry. Hes in too much shock. Hes NUMB. He hears someone coming to the door, he steps aside and sees Garrett. Donnie is speechless. Garrett doesnt notice and just leisurely walks away. Donnie wants to scream, but he cant. He just leans against the wall and tries to hold himself together. He just stands there and drops his flowers by Kates door. His legs feel week and he collapses. But he convinces himself to get up. Theres no use in being sad. He goes downstairs and goes past John. He grabs a pack of Kates cigarettes. I thought you quit, said John. Old habits never die, they just go on holiday, says Donnie. He goes outside, in the rain, under an awning and smokes a cigarette alone. (Donnie thought seeing Kate kiss was the worst thing everbut knowing she was having at it, right in his own home, destroyed him.) A month goes by. Donnie has lived with Kate for a while now, and he is still a wreck from what he saw beforebut hes still in love with her, even more than before for some inexplicable reason. Kate returns from an auditionshes landed a role. She and Donnie

celebrate in the garden, on the deck. They drink copious amounts of wine. Donnie accidentally confesses, (how could you sleep with garrett?) says that he is in love with Kate. Kate says she doesnt love Donnie. He asks why. She says Youre not my type. Jokingly. Why because Im black? She says yes. Youre joking. Donnies shocked and doesnt know what to say. He doesnt believe. But she says that shes not attracted to black men. She has a type. Why isnt that racist? he asks. (If you did that to a friend.) She just doesnt know. A week goes by. Early morning. Donnie finishes jogging with Hoser. He puts Hoser away and goes into his mansion. He walks in and sees a note on the kitchen table from Kate, saying that she has decided to move out. Donnie goes upstairs and into Kates room and sees that the room is empty. He look in the closet and finds that shes left behind her scarf. He picks it up and ties it around the closet rod. He mutters to himself it doesnt matter. It was going to happen. He goes into his shower, which has a mirror in it. He lets the water run over his body and he stares in it for a good while. He is disgusted. He starts scrubbing his body, trying to scrub off the darkness. He does this until red. And ne scratches his moles and dark spots until they bleed and peel off, which cause unsightly scars. But he doesnt care, because when they heal they become lighter. Then he collapses down, and sits on the tub floor, and just cries. Like a baby. Cries, cries, cries. He hears a knock on the door, its John. Asks if everything is alright, Donnie gets himself together and says yeah. John leaves. Days have passed and Donnie hasnt gotten himself together. He just stays around the mansion, isolated, drinking, and smoking. While Donnies on the floor his butler John tries to speak to him. Ive never seen you like this before. Are you alright? Of course. Im enjoying myself. Free spirit on the floor. I think I should call a doctor. No, no. Theres no cure for a A broken heart? What? What? No. Dont be crazy, John. Alright, Don. Just checking. John tells Donnie that there was a call for him today From the mayor, Frank Ford. For his efforts to help the city he is going to awarded the key to the city. Frank is speaking to a crowd of people in front of city hall. He is wearing his lucky suit, seated between some other politicians. Donnie is called up to accept the key to the city, which is a small silver key. He gives a speech about life, and loving yourself, and the city, and how to give back, etc. Suddenly signs/placards go up. A man in dark, a dark fellow, interrupts, raising his voice, saying how the place is being gentrified and how theyre trying to kick out all the black people and poor people. Donnie tries to reason with the selfproclaimed leader called Spike. Spike and his female friend, called Oyl, say he is a sell out and an Uncle Tom. Then they start chanting. This gets the crowd going. Then someone throws a chair and a shit storm happens, and is kicked up. The protesters start turning over car and breaking and looting against the behests of the mayor. Donnie is escorted by body guards and he and the mayor get inside the limousine. But they are blocked off. And people are attacking the limousine. Riot police arrive and they teargas the place and disperse the place, allowing Frank and Donnie to escape.

Donnie is at his desk, reading about the incident from last week. As he is doing so John enters his chambers with some tea. He sets it down on a table to the side. You know, said John. I heard someone got raped during the riot. Fuck, says Donnie. I know. Those people are fucking animals. Those people? Yeah Niggers. Now, cmon, you dont mean that. Look, I know youre trying to be a good person here, but niggers are nothing but trouble. Theyre lazy, ugly, and they cant help themselves. Theyre vicious. Im ashamed. Thats terrible. And you shouldnt be ashamed. You had nothing to do with what happened. Im just telling you the truth. Black people are just no good. Name one prosperous black town. The Golden Ghetto. In Beverly Hills. Okay, name two. Look, I know that work for you, and weve been friends for years, but if you dont cut out this bullshit Im gonna hafta quit. John. Im sorry. Alright. Im justgoing through some things now. I dont know where my head is. I take everything back. Good. Ill be downstairs if you need me. John leaves with a somewhat disgusted look. Donnie hunches over his desk and taps his fingers. He doesnt know what to do with himself. He goes onto his computer to do some work. But then out the corner his eye he notices a business card laying aside. He picks it up. Its from the Sunshine Clinic. He picks up the phone and calls the number. He schedules an appointment. Before going Donnie visits his barbershop for a haircut and shave and goes to see Chuck. Chuck is like a father to him in some ways, with kind words, and advice, and advanced age. (Donnie doesnt know his father.) Donnie and Chuck start out talking superficially, going on about sports and such. Boxing. Then they get onto the topic of change. Specifically: Changing ones self to, say, please another. Good/bad? Its Chucks opinion that you shouldnt try to change yourself for other people. Be yourself. Appreciate who/what you arebecause no one else will. BUT on the other hand, maybe some people need to change. On the other hand, I aint opposed to assholes changing. As long as youre basically a good person you shouldnt need to change to please others. Be strong in character. Stick to your guns and all that. Donnie agrees and he leaves. He goes to the sunshine clinic, feeling very fresh, and cancels his appointment. Of course there is a $200 cancellation fee. Hes only a bit annoyed. Donnie picks up Pearl from the shelter/food bank. He gives her an envelopeher pay chequeand then starts driving around. Where are we going? she asks. Taking you out on a date, says Donnie. What? A date. You need a date. Dont tell me what I need, Mr. Key-to-the-city. Please? What do you really want? Well, I was thinking of expanding our charity. Your charity. And I knew there was a catch to this. Hey, it can be a date and a business dinner, cant it? No. One or the other. Alright, alright, Im sorry. Lets just keep it all informal. Happy? Not really. Donnie pinches Pearls chin. Where we going? says Pearl. Youll see, says Donnie. Donnie and Pearl get to outside a swanky restaurant. They go, but when they get to the waiting area they find that the place is packed. A hostess turns them away. Why? says Donnie. The whole place is booked, says the hostess. Why? Someones having a party. A wrap party. Kind of exciting, there are celebrities there. Im a bit of celebrity. I mean real celebrities. So I have to leave. Sorry.

When Donnie and Pearl turn to leave, someone taps Donnie on the shoulder. It is Aaron Xavier. Hey, Donnie, you came, says Aaron. I didnt know you were invited. Invited where? says Donnie. To Kates wrap party. Did not you get a Donnie gives a blank stare. Oh, this is awkward, says Aaron. Hey, says Donnie. I dont need to get invited to no stupid party. Celebrities are vapid. Theyre worthless. Dont get offended, says Aaron. Everyone gets rejected...well, not as much as you. But still. Heh-heh. Donnie tells Pearl to go wait in the car. Where is she? says Donnie. Aw, dont waste your time, says Aaron. Its my time. Ill do what I want. Look, man, I didnt wanna tell you this but were kind of an item. And weve been getting very, very intimate with each other. Last night we Shut up. Oooh, dont get angry. Youre just mad because the better man won. No. You know who won? A spoilt kid. With Daddy Warbucks for a father. Hey, dont get started with me. You really think Ive had such an easy life? I grew up in candy land? Yeah, I kinda do. Well, youre wrong. Try living with a mom and dad that hate you. A dad that constantly criticizes you at every corner. A brother and sister who outshine you at every step, and think that theyre wholly superior to you. Try living without parents. No parents is better than abusive parents. Oh, wah-wah. So you have to live under your dads shadow, and people teased you for being fat and stupid. Big deal. Everyone goes through that shit. Every daywithout the wealth and money. You got onto easy street. Fine. You know what? I am on easy street. Im still there. And it feels good while Im banging the girl you love. Youre lying. Youre just trying to wind me up. Kate would never go for you. Youre too white bread for her. Believe what you want, brother. Im going back to the party. Donnie goes outside and gets in the car with Kate. He just sits there with arms folded. Are we leaving? asks Pearl. Yeah, says Donnie. I just I need a minute. He breathes out heavily. And then starts the car. I dont think that this is part of my job, says John. Did you find out or not? says Donnie. Yes, says John. I found out where she lives. Shes living at her moms place. Which mom? says Donnie. Step or Her biological mom. Alright. Do you have the directions? Why do you persist this woman? She has no feelings for you. And she doesnt suit your personality. You should let her go. Im telling you as a friend. Well, go back into butler mode, cause I dont need another friend telling me what to do with my romantic life. I dont care what anyone things, me and Kate are meant for each other. But, Donnie Just gimme the instructionsplease! John gives Donnie directions to Kates place. Donnie drives through the ghetto, which he notices is being rebuilt (by Aaron Xaviers real estate company), and goes into the rich part of town. He sees house number 15 on the left. He has a SHOEBOX by his side. He opens his door and is about to step out with it when he sees Kate and Garrett come outside. Donnies anger flares up. But he only watches. He places down his shoebox. Kate is in Garrettes way as he tries to go down the steps. Shes trying to convince him to stay some more. Garrett slaps away her hand. This infuriates Kate. Kate starts yelling and pointing her finger. She is silenced when Garrett slaps her. Once, twice, thrice, and then several more times until her face is red and swollen. Donnie gets out of his car to confront Garrett. He swears to get his attention.

Donnie throws a punch, but misses. Garrett grabs Donnie as Kate watches in horror and throws him to the floor. Donnie gets up and tries to swing again. Hes in shape, but he has no idea how to fight. Garrett blocks Donnies punches and twists his arm. First rule of fighting, says Garrett. Keep your cool. Dont let your emotions get in the way. Fuck you, says Donnie. Garrett wraps his arm around Donnies neck. Donnie reaches back, with pointed fingers, and pokes Garrett in the eyes. Then he pulls his body down, and pushes up against Garretts arms to free himself. He backs away and puts up his guard, imitating the boxers he used to watch on TV. Garrett is angry now. He finds a stick and starts swinging it. Kate tries to stop him, but she is pushed away. Garrett cracks the stick across Donnies face, knocking him out. Donnie wakes up in Pinewood Cemetery. He gets up, head still throbbing, and removes a clump of dirt from his shirt. He walks around, between the rows and rows of graves, many of them fallen soldiers. He stops at tombstone that has fresh flowers. Private Daniel Lee Wallace - 1990 to 2009. This puts Donnie in a bit of a funk, he walks over a hill, and leaves through the gate. As hes walking along the sidewalk a cop car slows down and an officer starts talking to him, asking him whats going on, why hes there. Just trying to get home, says Donnie. Hey, aint you that rich black boy? says Officer Blair. Why you got a scowl on your face? You look like you got hit by a sack of dirt. Im sorry, Im not in a good mood today. Office. Why dont you just go out to the store and buy yourself a smile, huh? You have enough money for that, eh? Shouldnt you be doing something more important? Im patrolling. Keeping the streets clean, Uncle Scrooge. I have to do work, unlike you. Hunh! Look at you, got all the money in the world, still youre frowning. Just because I have money doesnt mean I dont have problems. Okay? Money doesnt make you into some super human being, alright? Come on, Im just kidding around. Its not every day I get to meet a black gazillionaire. Whats that supposed to mean? No offense. Im not being racist. Im just saying. Most of you got your lips around a crack pipe. Leave me the hell alone. Officer Blair steps out of his patrol car and stands in Donnies way. Boy, you know, says Blair, if you werent who you were, I could bust your knee caps and get a medal for it. Not saying Id ever do that. Just saying that it could happen. Is that so? says Donnie. Donnie and Blair stare at each other for a bit. Then the radio in Blairs car goes off. Its a 187 (homicide). He returns to his patrol car and drives off. When Donnie leaves an office building two men approach him. A camera-man, and someone with a microphone. Rupert asks some annoying questions. So how you feeling, bro? says Rupert. Im okay, says Donnie. Who are you? An entertainment journalist. A paparazzi. Not exactly So, what were you doing? Thats not any of your business. What were you doing? Business. Hey, so how yah feeling? You already asked me that. Yeah, just trying to segue into a question. So what do you think of being associated with a criminal? What? Yeah, your cousin. Dont you know? You living under a solid gold rock or what? No. What about my cousin? Donnie walks in the parking lot. You didnt hear? He murdered someone. What? Donnie pauses. Yeah, he got into a scuffle. Apparently some people tried stealing his shoes, so he stabbed someone in self-defense. And what do you think about? I have to go. You gonna go

visit him? He is blood after all. Im busy, Im busy. Go away. Donnie gets into his car and drives off. Donnies outside on the street corner, by a bus stop, talking on a payphone to Jay. What happened? Donnie asks. Jay explains. Some people tried to take my shoes. Nikes. I defended myself. Thats no reason to kill anyone! I worked really hard for those shoes and I was defending myself. It was an accident. Alright, dont say any more. Just keep your mouth shut. Im gonna hire you a lawyer. A good lawyer. Will I go to prison? I never been to prison before. I dont know, Jay. Thats up to the judge and jury. An the executioner? I dont think youll face the death penalty. Oh Look, best of luck, but I have to go. I have a very important appointment coming up. See you later. Donnie looks at his silver watch and jogs down the sidewalk. He looks at the sunshine clinic. No protestors, he thinks. Guess they got bored and moved on. He steps inside. The secretary, named Christine, looks up. May I help you? Yes, replies Donnie. I have an appointment. Do you not remember me? Nope. Whatcha need? You a lawyer or something? No. Im here touse your services. Why? Why? I want to change how I look. Why? I want to appear different. I mean why, whats wrong with you? Youre tall, handsome, dark. You look perfect to me. I disagree with that. You shouldnt change yourself. Youre very attractive. Well, I dont feel attractive. Christine takes Donnies name and tells him to have a seat. While Donnie is sitting another man comes into the clinic and takes a seat beside him. He is very well dressed, but otherwise kinda ugly. His name is Carl. Carl introduces himself to Donnie. Carl says that hes in the fashion industry. That explains your attire. Thanks. So whats it like? The fashion industry? Its pretty competitive. You have to come up with a lot of new things. Its always gotta be fresh. Although we always stick to the fundamentals. And what are those? Well, there are two. Desire and un-attainability. Explain. Well, in the fashion industry you have to create desire. And you do that by using imagerywell, models. So when people look at images in a magazine they subconsciously think I want to be like that or look like that. Then their brains goes, Whats the easiest way to go about doing that? And then they look at the clothes the models are wearing, or the perfume sprayed on them, and a connection is made. Then they go out and buy these clothes and put them on to make themselves feel beautiful, like the models in the ad they saw. Okay and what about the unattainability part? Well, you dont want attainability in the industry. You dont want people to actually become what they want or what they see. You want them to try, you want them to have these desires, but you dont actually want them to get there. You dont want them to complete their journey. So, you fix things up in yours ads. You know, you get models who work out two hours a day, eat hardly anything, and are hooked on caffeine pills and vitamin C. And then you take them and airbrush them and remove absolutely every blemish and wrinkle. And you squeeze the photo to make them look even slimmer. That way nobody can become like them. Why would you do that? Why not just make it a bit more realistic, so that people can feel happy about themselves and meet their goals? If that actually happens, then people will stop buying our products. If they feel good about themselves then they wont be materialistic. They wont need to fill in the void. We want to keep everyone hungry.

Thats terrible. Its a living. If people are too stupid to not know this, then thats not my problem. Silence between Donnie and Carl. So youre here to get changed? says Carl. Yeah, says Donnie. Im guessing the same for you? No. No? My answer is no. So whatre you here for? Im an investor. Im checking on my investment. Oh So youre not here to change yourself. Of course not. Why would I want to change myself? I love myself. Im gorgeous. Donnie is perplexed; Carl is anything but gorgeous. A gorgeous looking man comes out of a door right by Christine. After he leaves, Donnie is called up, and he is told to go through the very same door. Carl smiles. Donnie gets up and after instructed goes through a long hallway. Its cold and bare. He gets to the end and goes inside the room. Dr. Rose Wright pulls down her mask and greets him. She tells him to take a seat while she does something; she is filling out some paperwork. Is this safe? Donnie asks. Did you not read up on this? says Dr. Rose. One should always double check his information. Yes. Its very safe. There have so far been no fatalities. And recovery time is minimal. Less than two weeks. After that you can take off your bandages, youll brand new. I have to wear bandages for two weeks? Your skin will be very sensitive. Youll receive a burning sensation if you touch anything without protection. Im having second thoughts. Do you want to go home? Donnie thinks of Kate. No. Im fine. Im gonna go through with this. Alright, now I have to ask you. Do you have a ride? Why, will my eyes be affected? No, no, not at all. Its just better to have someone drive you home. Oh, okay. Yeah. Someones going to pick me up me after this. Great, great, great Dr. Rose finishes what she was doing and turns around. She puts her hands together. Alright, are you ready? Donnies hands are shaking. Im ready. He steps on a small circular platform and has an oxygen mask affixed to his face (there is a tube that goes to the ceiling.) He is told to put his arms right up. When he does this a glass tube quickly comes down. Donnie cant put his arms down. He starts panicking when the tube starts filling with an orange liquid. He tries to move, but he cant, and he cant even put his arm down. Dr. Rose tells him not to panic. She goes over to a console and starts turning dials, and pushing buttons. Donnie thrashes around so much that he causes himself to pass out. After five minutes time the liquid in the tube drains, and he is released. Dr. Rose calls for help. More than two weeks have gone by, but Donnie is still in bandages. He asks John if everything is ready for his party. Is everything ready for tonight? Yes, sir. I sent out all the invitations a week ago. Ive confirmed that at least 100 people are coming. Just a hundred. Thats at least. What about my friends? Friends? Maya, and George, you know. Yes. They should make it. And what about Kate? Im not entirely certain. Well, make sure she gets here. Thats the most important part. Are you sure you want go through with this? Yes. I want them all to see me. I still dont like this. I dont care what you think. Okay? You work for me? So just do as youre told. John bows out and leaves. The night comes and Donnie is standing on a balcony, in a trench coat and hat, and still with bandages, watching all his guests arrive. Theres George, Maybe, Frank, and an assortment of other big wigs. Few people notice him. He vanishes

into his room, and then stands in the mirror. He slowly unwraps his bandages. He is pleased with what he says. He looks completely different. He goes downstairs and amidst the crowd searches for Kate. He finds Kate sitting down, surrounded by a bunch of men trying to chat her up. He clears his throat several times. Then he just plain shouts her name. KATE! Kate turns around and immediately catches Donnie in her eye. She goes over to Donnie, who is dressed to the 9z. She circles around him, and then says, You look awfully familiar. Do I says? Donnie. Would care to go elsewhere and talk about this? Theres a bar in here, you know. Alright. I could use another drink. Donnie and Kate go to the bar area. There are few people there. Everyone is mostly surrounding the celebrities that have came to the party. What do you want? says Donnie. Nothing fancy, Club on the Rocks, replies Kate. Donnie relays the message to the bartender named Fiona. And for you? says Fiona. Nothing, says Donnie. Im not much of a drinker. Kate encourages Donnie to drink. Donnie does so. He and Kate drink. They decide to play a drinking game. Celebrity drinking game. Donnie chooses a celebrity and Kate chooses a celebrity. Every time their celebrity gets asked for an autograph they have to take a drink. Donnie picks Pat OGwynn. (He hasnt done a movie in years.) Kate picks Gregoria Losantos. (Shes got a drug problem.) As it turns out both these people are still very popular. Donnie ends up losing, and he has one too many. His speech starts slurring. He asks Kate whether she wants to see something funny. He goes to the top of the grand staircase and throws his hands in the air. (Aaron Xavier is looking.)I would like to make an announcement to everyone here tonight, he says while wobbling I am not who you think I am. For these past moments I have been hiding my true self. I have transformed. I am more than meets the eye. I amthe cat man! Look at my kitty! He pulls down his pants and exposes himself. Kate covers his face, embarrassed. She excuses herself goes through the crowd of guests to leave. Donnie points, Hey! Where you going! Kate pauses. Donnie badgers her more. Where you going, cutie pie?! Were upposed to do some ssstuff together! He gestures lewdly. Kate keeps walking. Im talking to you, continues Donnie. Hey! HEY! HEEEEY! He passes out. Aaron Xavier is highly amused. Donnie has a hang over. He drinks a glass of water in the kitchen, trying to nurse his headache. John comes down to greet him, Good morning. Not so loud, says Donnie. Why? I have a hang over. John opens the blinds to the kitchen window, nearly blinding Donnie. Dont worry, Ill be as quiet as a cat. Would you like some breakfast today or shall skip that? Whatever you want. John reaches into the high cupboard and tries reaching for the frying pan. But instead he makes it falls down. It falls and cracks the floor with a loud bang. Donnie winces. John picks it up. Sorry about that, he says. He puts the pan on the stove and starts frying up some eggs. So, says John, I guess last night was a success? No answer. I have to say while you were in bed we had quite a good time. Donnie glares, but John continues. Someone with a lampshade on their head jumped up onto the coffee table. They churned the butter.

John, says Donnie, I would prefer to keep the conversation to a minimum. No problem, says John. I just thought Id make a little chitchat with my white master. Donnie stands up. Where you going? says John. I was just joking around. To the pharmacy, says Donnie. To get some medicine. We have some Acetaminophhen. I I dont know what that is, but Im sure its not powerful enough. Donnie is walking through plaza with sunglasses on. As he gets near the liquor store he sees some female teenagers hanging around. They approach him. Tiara asks him to help out. They convince him to go inside and get them some alcohol. Donnie goes inside and gets non-alcoholic beer, figures they wont know. He goes to the check out and is asked for ID. ID? says Donnie. Do I look that old? Yeah, says the cashier named Sharon. Donnie shows this ID. Sharon folds her arms. Nice fake ID. Its not a fake ID, says Donnie. Oh, really? I didnt know you were a negro. Hey! Sharon grabs Donnies ID to compare. Look at this, she says. Are you telling me this is you? Donnie takes back his ID. Fine, he says, keep your stinking non-alcoholic beer. He goes outside. The teens approach them, So, did you get it? No, he says. Well, thats just great. Donnie goes into the pharmacy. He browses the aisle and finds something called Hang Over Be Gone. There is a girl beside him. She is checking him out. Donnie notices and decides to strike up a conversation. Do you know if this is any good? says Donnie. Ive never tried it before, says Charlotte. Why do you have a hang over? Or are you, um, getting it for a friend? She smiles. Yeah, ha-ha, I have a hang over, says Donnie. Apparently I showed everyone my ass and I passed out! Charlotte goes away. Donnie is a bit confused. He goes to the check out to buy his medicine. Shes a pretty girl. She jokes around. So had a hang over, huh? Ha. I havent had one of those sincelast week! Donnie returns a smile. Theyre terrible, arent they? Yeah. Charlotte tries scanning the packet, but its not working. Damn thing aint working. Donnie makes a joke. Does that mean its free? Charlotte glares and gets it working. So, says Donnie, can I have your phone number? No, sorry, says Charlotte. Its against company policy? Seriously? Yeah. Oh, alright. Donnie leaves. Its another day. Donnies thinking to himself, why he keeps getting turned down. He thinks its because of hair. Its a mess. Donnie goes to Chucks to get his haircut. Donnie tells Chuck who he is, but Chuck doesnt believe him. But after a long argument, showing evidence, Chuck believes him. Why did you change yourself? asks Chuck. To, uh, Donnie is embarrassed, to impress a girl. Shit. Well, that aint new. But you took it to the extreme. I know. Well, if she dont like you for how you look then damn her. I cant. Im Im in love. You got it bad. You got it real bad. Its disappointing. You looked so good before. And I really dont know what to do with your hair now. You never cut a, uh, white persons hair before? Once, but Ive since forgot. Can you give it a try? Sure, I could. Have a seat. Chuck starts very slowly. Its going okay. So, says Chuck, making conversation like usual, tell me about this girl. I mean if you want. Well, says Donnie, shesa handful. But shes gorgeous. Prettiest thing youve ever seen. And shes pretty smart considering what she is. What is she? An attention seeker. Wants to be a celeb, is it? Yeah. That sounds complicated. Very. And you still helping out people? Course. Thats the only reason why Im here. You think Id

stay in a town like this for nothing? I been here for fifty years. I dont think its too bad. I dunno. I dont like it. There are so many So many what? You know, people. People I dont like. If you dont like this place then you should just go home. No. I cant. I have to help. I have to give back. My grams always told me grateful. Come on, you cant fool me. You came her to help, yeah, I believe, but youre staying here for another reason. Its for the girl. Obviously. No. No I Yes, yes. Its true. Is that so bad? And why havent you and her? Shes very particular about her men. Alright, lemme get this straight. You got money. Yeah. You got looks. Yeah. Youre a good person. Yeah. Whats the problem? I dont know. If I knew that then I wouldnt be here. You know what I think it is? What? You lack confidence. Oh yeah? Yeah, girls love confidence. Because you know what it says to them? Alpha-male, top dog, leader of the pack. Confidence appeals to their primal instincts that say they need security. So they look and they see you with confident and they say that guy can protect me and take down a bull for dinner. What about girls who like guys that are humble and modest? Yeah. Those exist. But youre not gonna come across them very often. Not that many women can suppress their animal needssame rules applies to men of course. Alright, so what should I do to gain more confidence? Kung-fu. I did that and boy it changed me. Why do I need to do Kung fu? Im not Asian. Boy, all your fears in life come from the bullies that picked on you. When you know you can whup em good you get confident. Donnie is silent for a moment while thinking. Know what? says Donnie. I dunno if thisll gimme confidence, but I think its a good idea. It is a good idea, says Chuck. Do you know anyone that teaches Kung-fu? Youre in luck. I have a friend who owns a kwoon. Whats a kwoon? Im guessing thats a place where you train? Yep. Would you like his business card? Sure. Hold on. Chuck finishes Donnies hair and then gives him a really old looking business card. Its from decades ago. Donnie is hitting a heavy bag. He is punching and kicking it. Swearing at the same time. Piece of! He tires himself out. His 3 hour work out is complete. He pats himself down with a towel, and leaves his private gymnasium. He takes a shower. He looks at himself in the mirror and looksdownstairs. Hes pleased that its remained the same size. He steps out and changes and sits down to watch his television, something that he hasnt done in years. Hes immediately disgusted. Theres a story about a shooting. A man shot a woman and her boyfriend. Apparently the man was in love with the woman and was extremely distraught about her relationship. Donnie shuts off the TV. More than that he plugs it out. And turns it around. He sits down for a sec and thinks of Kate. Then he goes to a phone and calls her. Kates mother answers. This is Donnie Underwood, says Donnie. Who is this? Kates mother, says Mrs. Witman. And what do you want? Not another creep are you? What? Why no. Well, what do you want? I just wanted to speak to Kate. Shes not here, you stay away from her! Shes tramped around enough! Im not Im a friend. Yeah. Just friends. Ive heard that before. You think Im ignorant? I know otherwise. Is she there? Kates voice is heard. She takes the phone. I need to get a mobile, she mumbles to herself. Then she greets Donnie, Hi! Who is this? Donnie, says Donnie. Oh? I havent heard from you in such a long time What do you want? I was just thinking of you. Wanted to know if you were alright. And I wanted to apologize

for that awful party I threw last time. Im sorry for, uh, exposing myself. What are you talking about? Remember? On the staircase? Yeah. Some white guy I had drinks with showed his junk. That was me. What are you talking about? Ill show you. Can we meet? I dont know. Im having a bit of a rough day. And work and Just let me show you, okay? Fine. You get five minutes. Alright? Thank you. Donnie says goodbye and rushes over to Kates. Its a very fine day. Clear weather at Kates house. Donnie is in a trench coat and he has a hat covering his head. He goes to the front door and rings the doorbell. Mrs. Witman answer. She is in a robe. What do you want? she says. Im here to see Kate, says Donnie. Is that so? She said a black man would be visiting, not to freak out. Whats wrong with a black man? I just dont like them. They remind me off my ex-husband. He was really into the whole black scene when were younger. I thought it was stupid. The music was terrible. Yeah, I think the music is terrible to. Mrs. Witman goes back into the house and screams for Kate. Kate goes to the door. She has on a pair of sunglasses. Kate, says Donnie. Do you know who I am? Kate isnt sure. She stares and stares. No. I dont think so. Its me. Me who? Donnie. Donnie who? Donnie Underwood. Your friend. Remember when you lived at my mansion? What is this? Some sort of joke? Its not a joke. Its meDonnie Underwood. I changed myself. I went to the Sunshine Clinic. The Sunshine Clinic? You mean that place that makes people Better. Kate touches Donnies face and looks into his eyes, which havent changed. She pulls back her hand. Her face becomes disgusted. This is sick. Its not sick. You have problems. You need to leave. Kate pushes Donnie. He holds onto her hands. Please, says Donnie. I did it for you. Well, stop doing things for me, says Kate. Ive had enough of your generosity. Please. Dont you like how I look? I look better, dont I? Im not sure. Hey, youll get used to it. Let it sink into your brain. Im trying. And take off your glasses and let me see your pretty eyes. Kate takes off her sunglasses. She has a black eye. How did you get that? says Donnie. Oh, it was a present, says Kate, from an ex boyfriend. Its that piece of shit who owns that strip club, isnt it? Garrett whatever his name is. Dont do anything stupid. I think you want me to do something stupid. Im serious! Fine I wont do anything. Good. I dont want you to hurt him. Donnie looks into Kates eye. Well, I have to go, he says. I have things to do. Kate just whimpers, Yeah. Then she goes inside her house and shuts the door. At a local high school. Donnie is behind the curtains talking to a man who looks strikingly like his past self. I have to say, says Lucas. This is very weird. I explained to you, says Donnie. People arent ready enough to accept the physical changes Ive made to myself. You, my acting friend, will buy some time until I come up with a plan to properly reveal my altered self to the public. Plus this is a black school. These kids identify with me well, you. You who is supposed to be me. Okay, I understand. Dont mess this up. You remember my friends, right? George and Miranda. No. George and Maya. I was only joking around. Well, dont joke around. This is very serious. Right. Now, go out there and be the best phony that you can. Lucas walks onto the stage, which is in the cafeteria, and greets everyone. Donnie slips out back.

Donnie goes to the strip club and takes a detour into the alleyway. He waits by the dumpster. Two men come out through the back: Garrett and someone unknown. Donnie puts on a mask and gloves. He pulls a gun on the two. He uses the gun to knock out the unknown. When Garrett turns to run he is shot in the back of the knee. He crumples to the floor. Donnie takes this opportunity to beat the shit out of him. He beats him unconscious to a pulp. Donnie takes off his mask, tosses his gloves, and guns into the trash, and simply walks away. Some days later. Donnie and Kate go to the hospital. Thanks for coming with me, says Kate. I really needed the company. No problem at all, says Donnie. The two go into a room and they see Garrett, who is in a coma. Donnie sets some flowers down on a table. Kate sits beside Garrett on his bed. Its a shame what happened to him, says Donnie. Sure is. Donnie rubs Kates shoulder to comfort her. As the two are in silence a clown comes into the room. The magician briefly greets them and then goes to the other side to entertain the patient, a child. The child looks uncomfortable and then starts crying. Kate goes to comfort the child. She is very good at comforting him. The magician apologizes. Then he segues into a conversation with Kate and he tries to get her digits. Donnie clears his throat, Hey, how do you know shes not my girlfriend? Hitting on her in front of me? Well, says the clown, I just dont get that vibe. And why not? You two look more like brother and sister. Brother and sister? Do brother and sisters date? Were going on a date, arent we, Kate? Tonight. Im not playing this game, says Kate. We are not going on a date. Why not? says Donnie. The magician laughs. Donnie and Kate go into the hallway to have a chat. Why did you have to embarrass me like that? asks Donnie. I was being honest, said Kate. You couldve at least lied. Save me some face. No. I do not lie. Lying is despicable. Well, now I feel flush. Okay, so what should I do about this? Make it up to me. Let me have a date with you. I dont know Why? Whats wrong with me? Im just busy. Thats all. How busy? Kate takes out an agenda/planner and flips through it, which surprise Donnie. Lets see, she says, next month. The first Saturday. Thats when we can have a date. Next month? Oh thanks for fitting me into your schedule, says Donnie. Im an up and coming actress, dont you know? I have things to do. Alright. The first Saturday of next month. The Jewish Sabbath. Dont forget. I dont want you backing out. Dont worry, I wont You know, contrary to what you think I actually think youre quite attractive now. Its the weekend. Donnie is at an ATM cautiously withdrawing some money. He needs to catch a cab. He goes to the street corner to cross the street. When he is waiting for the light to tell him to walk a man comes stumbling into his peripheral vision. He gets startled and then notices the man is in a suit. He is well dressed, but well beat up. Hes quite calm considering the state hes in. Excuse me, Gregory says to Donnie. I hate to begIve never begged before, but could I ask you for a couple bucks? I need to catch a cab real bad. Ill owe you back. I just need your address. Tell you what, says Donnie, who is skeptical. I need to catch a cab too. Lets take one together. Ill pay the fare and then some if required. Oh Okay. Im cool with that. Wherere you headed? The Carlton. Oh, thats just straight down. Yeah. You know about it? I went there before the grand opening. A friend of mine, well, an acquaintance, constructed the building recently. Citys in an upswing, I think. So, shall we go? The light says to go.

Donnie and Gregory cross the street and catch the first cab, which is a bit of luck. They get in and instruct Cabbie Mike to go ahead to the Carlton. As they drive they have a chat. I guess I should just ask now, says Donnie, what happened to you? I got robbed by some black kids, says Mike. Thatsterrible. Well, what do you expect? We live in a city where welfare is a career option. Donnie is quiet. Well, he says, why are you going to the Carlton? Im a seduction expert, says Carlton. Whats that? We teach men how to seduce women. We teach them tricks and how to manipulate the female mind. No offense but that sounds kinda skuzzy. Is it? Yeah. Welp, I dont feel ashamed. Its not different from what women do. They do this sort of thing? Have you ever picked up a womans magazine? Read the articles. Its all about picking up guys and pleasing men. I justwell, do you have to use the word manipulation? I think it accurately describes what I do. And how exactly do you manipulate women? Donnie and Gregory near the Carlton. Gregory gives Donnie a pamphlet on the Art of Seduction and leaves with a goodbye. Donnie pays for the ride. Donnie is in a large airy room with big windows. There are about two dozen or so people around. Gregory is up at front, with a microphone in his hand. There are lights pointed to him and he is wearing real weird clothes. He introduces his program and then poses a question to his students. Now, I have to say, says Gregory. Youre all very nice, very successful, interesting people. We all know that, you and I. So, knowing that, you probably get confused when you get rejected. You probably ask yourself questions like: Why cant I get her? Why cant I get women? Why do I have so much trouble with females? Okay. Before I tell you my answer, I wanna know what you guys think first. Can anyone answer these questions? Dont be shy. Just take a guess. Someone raises their hand. Is it because were not good enough? I mean these girls are out of our league. Maybe we should go for less attractive women? Gregory laughs. WRONG! These girls arent out of your league. See. Thats your problem. You think that theyre better than you. Theyre not. Women are not better than menmen like you. If anything its opposite. Gregory continues. Now, I have another question for you men. How many of you think each woman is different and individual? Nearly everyone raises their hand. WRONG! They are not unique and individual. They are all alike. Seldom are they different. Someone raises their hand. Isnt that sexist? Greg goes up to him and pulls his tie. See, this is another problem with you guysIm here to help you and you cant be helped. He returns to the front. Why? Because YOU CANT UNLEARN. The only thing harder than learning is unlearning. And you all have that problem. You have all these preconceived notions about women, and you buy into the idea of romanticism, and you listen to what females tell you. Get rid of that bullshit. Forget it. Lets start anew right here. Im going to tell you how to do it, how to pick up women, how to do it right. Put away your paper and pens now, I want you to listen. Everyone puts away their pens and papers. He goes on to explain 11 rules/tricks.

 1. You can only "game" a woman with whom you are prepared to fail (if you find yourself wanting her too badly, you'll never have her) 2. Exude extreme confidence 3. Demonstrate some kind of value, skill or talent NEAR your target, but not directly to her. Initially, pretend you don't even notice her. 4. Win over her friends 5. Be hard to get 6. Be fun 7. Handle challenges from competing men intellectually and psychologically. Never fight. 8. Respond to any signs that she's not interested as if it were "no big deal" 9. Once you have your target's attention, playfully insult ("neg") her. For example, "I like your hair, is that your natural color?" The more beautiful the woman, the more effective the neg is in garnering interest as they rarely hear comments of that nature. 10. Once attraction has been established, punish any unwanted behavior by withdrawing and disinterest, but do not pout or have an attitude. 11. Alternate between attraction and disinterest signals in a push-pull fashion until rapport is established. The presentation is almost finished. Any questions? says Gregory. I have a problem, says Donnie. Oh? Where? Everywhere. All this seems so phony. Its not me. Hmm, why dont you make it you? The presentation finishes. Everyone at the end is given a book. Donnie goes out into the hallway. Everyone passes him by while he peruses his book. He looks at the cover, which is black with gold lettering. Then at the back, where there is a big picture of Gregory. Gregory comes out at this moment while hes looking at the back. You like that, huh? says Gregory. Im quite sexy. Donnie gives a fake grin, Yeah. Not bad. So what did you think of the presentation? Im a bit skeptical. These are time-tested techniques. I can pick up any girl I want. Yeah? Fifty says I can pick any woman that comes by. Make it a hundred. Okay. But heres the thing. I get to choose. No problem. Lets get started. Several women pass by, many of them not so attractive. Finally Donne sees one who he thinks is a tough nut to crack, he points, and Gregory makes his way over to her. He goes up to her and does his routine, just like he described in his presentation. He even negs the target. He returns to Donnie with a phone number in his hand. Donnie is astonished. I cant believe that worked, he says. She was a ten. Man, I got this thing down to a science, says Greg. Alright, youve proven yourselfbut not all women are the same. Yes, they are. Aw, cmon. That statements borderline misogynist. Look, I dont mean it as an insult. Im just saying that humans in general, not just women, are very predictable. Yeah, but what about the ones who are different? Really different? What do you do with them? None of them are different, believe me. Lets just pretend. Fine. How do you get to that girl? You know, the tough nut. Lets walk around. Get the blood flowing.

Gregory and Donnie randomly walk around the hotel. I get the impression, says Gregory, that you are madly in love with a woman who doesnt look at you for more than two seconds. And I bet shes kind of a flirty type that kisses and tells. So, youre probably dying inside right, and youre desperate, and youre badly hurt. I mean real wounded. It feels like youre out of breath and youre doing to die. Of course thats what we call love. So, my advice to you islet it go. Donnie is annoyed, Thats your advice? Let it go? Let me be specific. Heres whats going to happen. Youre either not going to get the girl or youre going to go all out to get into a relationship with her. Youre going to pull all the stops, youre gonna do all the tricks, youre gonna use people, and even step over innocent females to get what you wantand youll be her boyfriend or whatever, but you are going to be dissatisfied. See. Youve built her up in your head so much, youve yearned so long, that youve made her into a goddess. Well, shes not. Shes a human being. Shes not the most beautiful woman in the world, she isnt the greatest. Shes just average. You are going to be sorely disappointed once you have her, because reality is going to hit. Youll see her for what she really is: An imperfect woman. Just like all of us. Youre wrong. She is perfect. Shes very wonderful. Is she really? How many times has she made you cry and broken your heart? Dont even try to man up and lie. Not that much, honestly. Hey. I know that you love her. And youd do anything for her, and youd die for her. But you, my friend, are in love with someone that doesnt love you back. That means you cant think rationally. You keep hanging on to hope, thinking that theres a chance; meanwhile youre passing up other great people because youre stuck on this particular female. It will end in ruin, even if you do get what you want. Any time you think 100% with your emotions you are going to get destroyed. By the end of it your ego, and your heart, and the happy area of your brain, is going to collectively be the size of a raisin. Donnie is very disappointed at the lecture. Youre real cynical, arent you? he says. Im realistic, says Gregory. I tell you the truth. Then why do these seminars if you cant help anyone with love? I do help people with love. No, you dont. Youre just helping people to hook up and have short term flings. Youre way off. Then what do you do? I help men succeed, so that they can see themselves as they should. Thats just great, but it doesnt help me with my situation. Hey, I cant twist your arm. Do what you think is right? Okay? Gregory pats Donnie on the shoulder and then quickly walks away. Ze prison is cold and gray. Donnie, accompanied by a guard, goes up a set of steel stairs and through a turning hallway that is line with bars. He stops at a door marked C10, with a tiny window. The guard opens the door; Jay is in the cell, sitting down, and reading a book. Hes so absorbed that he doesnt notice anything. Donnie puts a bill/note into the guards pocket and goes inside. He clears his throat. Once, then twice. Jay looks up. Can I help you? Jay, says Donnie, its me. Are you my lawyer? You look different. No, Im dont you keep up with the news? Uh Right. Uh, Im Donnie. What do you want? Im your cousin Donnie. Donnie Underwood. Shut the fuck up. Im 100% serious. This is a joke. Its not a joke. Jay stands and looks Donnie in the eyes. It is you Your eyes look the same.

He continues. You have that disease, right? The one that Michael had? Jesus. I didnt know it could work so fast. No, says Donnie. I dont have a disease. I went through aspecial procedure. You mean you changed yourself intentionally. Why? Never mind what Ive done to myself. Im here to see you. Lets talk about you. Would you like to have a seat? Donnie and Jay sit down on the prison cell bed. How are you doing? says Donnie. Its prison, says Jay. Im sorry I couldnt help you more. Its alright. Youve done enough. At least I have my own cell. (Jokingly) Now I know I wont get raped! Riiight. So, what do you do around here? Well, Im locked up 23 hours a day. So mostly I read. And I just think about things. What kind of things? Regrets. Thats very dark. Mind if I ask? No. I just think about what my life would be like if things were different. You shouldnt live your life thinking about regrets. Its a waste of time. I have plenty of time now. Can we can talk about something a little more lighthearted? I came here to cheer you up. Donnie reaches into his back pocket and gives Jay a pack of playing cards. Its all I could get in here, he says. I appreciate it, says Jay. Hey, wanna see a magic trick? Hm, alright. Im up for that. Donnie does a magic trickpick your card. Do you know anymore? asks Jay. I do, say Donnie, but He looks at his watch. I have to go. Where you going? On a date. What happened to bros before hos? This is really important to me. Donnie gets up and waves goodbye, and then he leaves the prison cell. Dont forget about me, says Jay. Donnie is having a picnicwith a girl that isnt Kate. He is sitting down with someone named Sophia in a beautiful national park. She is gorgeous, tall redhead. She is friendly and kind too. She sits close to Donnie and doesnt take her eyes off of him. The two smile while drinking expensive wine, exchanging pleasantries. So, are you Irish? asks Donnie. Yes, says Sophia. Would you like to hear a joke? Sure, I love jokes. Okay, ahem How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? I dont know. Zero. He-he-he. I dont get it. You know about the potato famine? Omigod. Thats terrible! Thats a terrible joke! Donnie feels embarrassed now. But Sophia starts laughing afterward. After the laughter dies down the two exchange a look. Then there is a ringing. Donnie goes into his basket and takes out a large phone thats about the size of a brick. He presses a button to answer it. Excuse me for a moment Hello? he says. Where are you? says Kate. Im have a picnic. Without me? Yeah. But we had a date. Im sorry. It slipped my mind. I met someone new and I thought Id take her out. Her? Uh-huh. Shes a very attractive redhead. But we planned our date a month in advance. What can I say, Kate? Im in demand. Well, you know, youre being real rude right now. Look, I have to go. Well talk later, okay? But Donnie ends his call and returns his attention to Sophia. So, he says, where were we? Sophie leans toward Donnie with a smile. Donnie continues with his plan of shunning Kate. Though he does it in a very careful way. He ignores her regularly, but when he feels her slipping away he feeds her a little bit (in the emotional sense). For him the words Im busy and I really do care for you quickly become catch phrases. And everywhere he went, with his mobile phone, itd be the same thing of Let me think about that or Ill get back to you. Sure, it crushed him to know

that he was hurting the feelings of the woman he truly loved, but he felt that he had no choice. Occasionally hed think that these thoughts made him weak, and some moments he was being a little too generous. But onward he went until he came to think that all the stars were aligned. Hed swoop in at Kates moment of weakness and be her knight in shining armor. Donnie brought Kate flowers, and candy, and a toy bunny (just to go against the tradition of bears), when her father got remarried. A strange moment it seems to pick, but Donnie knew that Kate had high hopes for her divorced parents reuniting. As she used to say about them, Theres a little flame there. Donnie and Kate go to the bluffs, an escarpment/cliffy area, at the edge of town. They walk along the sandy area, then roast marshmallows and hot dogs. They set up a tent and get inside. A month later After many datesEverything is going swimmingly. But Donnie isnt sure what his relationship between him and Kate is. Theyre closer than they were before but how close? Donnie isnt sure. The two today are spending time in a mall. They walk around until Kate complains about her feet. Can we go sit down? she asks. Sure, says Donnie. The two sit down by water fountain. Kate takes off her shoes. Kate, says Donnie. Yep, says Kate. I just want to be clear about something. Oh yeah. Kate A noise interrupts. A child of about five comes crying along. Kate puts on her shoes and goes to the child. Whats wrong? she asks. My mommy, he says. I dont know where she is. Why dont we go look for her? Kate takes the child by the hand. Come on, she says to Donnie. The three walk around the mall. Kate buys the child, named Ralphy, an ice cream. Donnie wants to say something now, but hes really at a loss for words while occasionally glimpsing at the sad child. Finally the lost mother is found. She thanks Kate and Donnie and takes her son away. Donnie and Kate are alone now. Now, says Kate, what did you want t say to me? I just wanted tonever mind, says Donnie. He thinks about he seduction tips that he acquired from his seduction class. Hes not really sure what the protocol on this type of situation is. Maybe hes seeming too needy. Out with it, says Kate. Well, says Donnie, Id like to know where we stand. Were in the mall? No, I mean in our relationship. Where are we in our relationship? Are we in a relationship? Are you my girlfriend? There is a long pause. Well, it seems like a long pause. Of course, says Kate. Of course Im your girlfriend. And youre my boyfriend. How could you think anything else? Donnie tries to stay calm, but he is smiling on the inside. There are many more dates, many dates later that consist of: -Romantic walks -Visits to the theatre -Visits to the museum -Visits to the local cinema -Concerts -Picnics -Short Road trips -Trips to the beach -Plenty of restaurantsdinner, lunch, breakfast

-Snuggling on the couch for horror marathons or any type of marathon really -Dancing Time goes by fast. Donnie wakes up in bed and looks aside at his girlfriend. Hes consumed with her, and has been spending, it seems, every minute with her. Everything elseand everyoneis third or secondary. He admires his still sleeping beauty and whispers into her ear, You look so gorgeous. Kate awakes at these words and rubs her eyes. She looks at Donnie. Mm, what time is it? she says. Donnie looks at his alarm clock. 7:00 AM he says. Kate looks wide eyed, Oh, crap. Im gonna be late. She jumps out of bed and starts dressing with her clothes that are on the floor. Late for what? Im filming a movie. Oh, that. I forgot. Its gonna be a big one. I can feel it. Well, I hope it doesnt take up too much of your time. I mean weve got a real good deal going on here. I really see us together in the long term. Aw, thats really sweet. Kate goes to the bathroom and starts washing up and brushing her teeth. When will you be back? asks Donnie. I dont know, says Kate. These things have schedules but theyre never on time. Theyre like cable guys. Will it be before eight? Ho, I wish. Can you guesstimate? I dont know. Alright then. No problem. I can find something to do by myself until you come home. You do that. Kate starts rushing out of the room. Donnie springs up. Wait, he says. What? says Kate. No goodbye kiss? Im so sorry. Come here. Donnie kisses Kate goodbye, then she rushes out the door. Donnie goes back into bed. In his words hes happy as hell. Donnie is reading a book, as per usual, at the dinner table. Its midnight and hes just cooked Kate a meal and he is waiting for her return. John says goodnight to his masta and goes upstairs. An hour goes by. Then two hours. Then three. Its almost four AM. Donnie is hardly awake. As hes about to go to bed, he hears the doorbell ring. He goes to bed to answer it. Itswho else?but Kate. Kate waves goodbye to someone with a smile and then rushes into the mansion, past Donnie, without acknowledging him. Kate, says Donnie. Kate stops to look at him. Oh, Jesus. She hugs him. I didnt even notice you. Ive had such a hectic day. For some reason I thought you were the butler. How about that, huh? Yeah, says Donnie. Thats pretty funny. Anyway, why dont you come sit down and well have dinner together? At this hour? says Kate. I have to get to bed. Please? No, no, no, well eat later. We can always eat later. Its no big deal. But Anyway, I have to watch my weight, you know. Kate dashes upstairs. Donnie sits at the dinner table. After a moment. Well, he says to himself, may as well clean up. He starts collecting everything and dumping the food into trash bins. There were a lot of cold wasted dinners. But Donnie always forgave Kate, he knew she was busy. Kate has some time off. Donnie has prepared a special weekend for her. The two go to Jamaica for a romantic getaway. But they are in a hotel. Donnie is looking outside. Come on, Kate, he says. Why dont we go out? Im so tired, says Kate. But whats the point of coming here if were going to stay in the hotel? Theres plenty to do in here. Kate calls room service and orders some food. There we go, she says. We can have a

good meal for once. And what about those dinners I made you? says Donnie. Oh, thats right. You wouldnt know, because you never ate them. Are you still going on about that? Never mind Lets just enjoy our time together. There is a knock on the door. Donnie goes to answer it. There is a server with a silver cart that is full of food, which is of course covered. Hello, says the server. Your food. He peaks in and looks at Kate. Donnie takes in the cart and closes the door without giving a tip. He takes it over to Kate. They go to the table to eat. I like how you didnt give the server a tip, Kate says jokingly. He was looking at you, says Donnie. You dont have to get so jealous. Im not. I just gave him what he deserved. You know that were gonna get bad service now, right? You should find him and give him a tip. But I wanna eat. You can eat a minute. Come on. Oh, alright. Donnie gets up and goes into the hallway. He chases down the server. He gives the server a good tip, apologizes, and then he returns to outside his room. The door he finds is locked. He knocks on the door. Again. Then again. No one answers. Kate, he says. Open this door open right now. I know youre in there. The door opens up after a minute. Kate is in lingeriea thin red piece that reveals nearly everything. Donnie is surprised. Kate pulls him in, after closing the door, and then pushes him onto the bed. She climbs on top of him. She bites his ear. Do you like that? says Kate. Its nice, says Donnie. Kate takes off Donnies pants. Then she runs his hand along his leg and grabs the elastic of his underwear. WAIT! he says. I cant. He sits up. What are you doing? says Kate. Dont you wannago at it? Uh, uh, Im not ready, says Donnie. I think were moving too fast. Too fast? Too fast? How long have we known each other? Long enough, but I just dont think that we should. Plus. We ordered food. We should be eating now. So, what? Youre not attracted to me? No. I am. I think youre gorgeous. Gorgeous but not fuckable. Must you be so foul? Im just saying. Somethings off here. Look, Im not comfortable. No means no. Im not trying toforget it. Kate sits at the table and uncovers one of the dishes. She starts eating the spaghetti. Donnie goes and stand by her. Kate, he says. I owe you an explanation. Youve explained enough, says Kate. No. Its just that Im nervous. Why would you be nervous? Ivenever had sex before. Im a virgin. What? Youre a virgin. Thats adorable. Please. Theres no need for sarcasm. Okay, I understand. Youre scared. I prefer the term nervous. Kate puts down her food. Theres no need to be nervous. Sex is easy. You say that like you have, uh, experience. I do have experience. No. No, you dont. Youre a virgin too, right? Are you joking. You think Kate laughs. Donnie on the other hand is not so amused. Youre so nave, says Kate. I cant believe you thought I was a Ha! Its not funny, and Im not nave, says Donnie. I just thought thata girla girl who looks like you Omigod, I feel sick. He sits. Dont feel sick. Everyone has sex. If they didnt you wouldnt be born. Thank your lucky stars. So, youve had sex? Yeah. How many times? I dont remember. Then how many people? An average. What is average? First. Would you calm down? Donnie isnt calm, but says so. I am calm. Now tell me How many? Kate thinks. Maybe eleven? Eleven. Thats so high. Compared to what? Donnie is breathing really heavy. His imagination is going to work. Hes thinking

about all the faces of the men that hes seen with Kate. Hes becoming physically ill. But he needs to console himself. Well, says Donnie, you had sex. But you regret it now, dont you? I mean you regret not saving yourself for me, right? I could understand that. You were young, you made mistakes, you got confused, you had emotions that werent really there. And you probably didnt enjoy yourself, Im guessing. What are you talking about? says Kate. Of course I enjoyed myself. Thats why I have sex. It feels good. I have absolutely no regrets about getting fucked. I had my orgasms and they had theirs. I dont wanna hear this. Im telling you the truth. But I thought I was supposed to be the one. Youre one of a couple. Donnie has his hands in fists. His fingernails are digging into his palms, enough to make them bleed. Well, says Donnie, at least you didnt have sex with the Aaron. Kate shakes his head. Donnie stands about and circles around the room. Then he stops and leans his hand against the wall. Youre being over dramatic, says Kate. And I dont get why you thought I was a virgin. At this age? Thats so ridiculous. I saved myself! says Donnie. Dont shout at me. Im sorry. Im just a little upset. This really came out of leftfield. It didnt. You just werent paying attention. But I am flattered at the idea of you thinking I was a virgin. You know what? Forget it. Theres no use talking about this. Talking about is not going to change anything. So, now what? Will we have sex or what? I dont know. I dont know what I want to do. Im so pissed. If youre looking for an apology Im not going to apologize. My past is my past and you have to accept it. Actually, you know what? You should apologize. What? Are you joking? Donnie turns around. You tricked me! I thought you were something else. The way you presented yourself was dishonest. It was all a faade. Donnie. I think youre being irrational right now. And youre very upset, so youre acting bizarre. Im going to forgive you. But if you keep trying to villainize I am going to go. Go where? I dont know. Outside, where there isnt anyone trying to make me feel bad. Im not trying to make you feel bad. I just want to feel how I feel. Well, I dont feel that way. And Im going out for a walk. Kate leaves. Donnie sits on the bed and waits for her. He stares out the window and watches the day go by. When the sun is about to go down, when the sky is red, Kate returns. She stumbles into the hotel room. Donnie stands up only to watch her collapse on to the bed. She is drunk. He puts her on her side so that she wont choke on the innards of her mouth. On the airplane, returning home. Donnie and Kate arent talking to each other. They are silent until Kate puts up her hand to get the stewardess attention. Excuse me, says Kate. Could I get something to drink? What would you like? says the stewardess. Nothing fancy. Just plane water. The stewardess leaves. Kate tapes her finger on her armrest. She looks at Donnie who is just staring straight ahead into blankness. Sooo, says Kate. This is gonna be a long flight, huh? Donnie doesnt answer. Yep. It sure is. She goes into her bag and takes a piece of paper and pen. She writes down something, folds it, and then passes it to down. She puts it on his lap. He picks it up and read it. It is a picture of a heart. Donnie holds Kates hand. It seems that things are going to get better.

Donnie and Kate are on a yachtnot a huge one, roaming the waters at night. Kate is in a black dress while Donnie is in a tuxedo. They are having wine and a fine meal. Oh, I love being on the water, says Kate. Especially in a boat. I knew youd like it, says Donnie. I planned this especially for you. Did you? Uh-huh. So, what do you think of the meal? Its really good. I cooked it. Did you? Yup. Youre really going all out tonight. You have something extra special planned? Maybe a surprise. Maybe. Oooh, I like it. Very mysterious. You know, Kate. I know that sometimes we dont get along. Obviously. But I think our relationship is going pretty well. I try my best. I just want to let you know thatI think youre wonderful. Youre perfect. Am I? Youre the only woman I think. The only woman that I fantasize about. I love you more than anything in the world. I could never imagine myself being with someone else. Youre the light in my life. Before I met you it was dark days. Youre not so bad yourself. He-he-he. Hey. Why dont we finish this meal later, huh? Well, Im kinda hungry. Trust me. Lets continue this later. Alright. Kate takes Donnie by the hand and leads him into a room with a bed. She lights a candle and lies down. Whatre you doing? he asks. She takes off her clothes. Why dont you reciprocate? she says. I, I, I cant. Cant or wont? Im saving myself for marriage. I dont think we should do this. Are you sure? Donnie swallows a glob of spit in his mouth. Uh-huh. Plus I dont know what to do. And you have moreway more experience than me. Are you still bothered by the fact that Im not a precious virgin? Kate crosses her legs. I do have a preference, says Donnie. He unbuttons one of the buttons on his shirt, because its getting warm. I really do wishyou were like me. I really dont like think about you with other men. But you love me dont you? Of course. Then dont make me think Im unattractive. Kate springs up and grabs Donnie. She spins him onto his back and tears off his clothes while kissing him. The two become one. Donnie wakes up with a smile for the first time in a while. He springs out of bed, gets dressed, goes into his kitchen, and grabs a bag. He writes Kate on it in marker. John and him leave the house and they drive along the road. So, youre real excited, arent you? says John in the car. Oh yeah, says Donnie. Youve never been On a movie set before? No. This is a, uh, another first. Did you have sex the other night? Is it obvious? Yes. Well, well, its not something I think we should discuss. No problem. Yeah, anyway, yes, Ive never been a movie set before. Have you? Celebrities arent really that entertaining to me. Im not excited because Im gonna see celebrities. Arent you? Uh, well, maybe a little. You know whos gonna be there? Jean Smith. Hes Kates co-star. Or shes his co-star. Oh, what movie has he done? Lets see Most recent? He did an adaptation of Wind in the Willows. He played the Toad. Is that so? Yeah. And I have to say it was pretty good. What do you know about the movie industry? Not much. Its kinda interesting though. Sorta. Do you know what Kates movie is about? No, she hasnt told me much details. Ive heard about it from friend. Im not sure if itll be your cup of tea. How so? Its a chick flick. Oh. Yeah. Might be boring. Its not an action. I guess you wont see an explosion. Thats okay. Im fine with that. John goes through security, and gets into studio complex. He finds stage 15, a large rippling building, and lets Donnie go. Dont get lost, says John jokingly. I wont, says

Donnie. He takes his paper bag with him and goes through a door, and wanders around inside. While doing so he bumps into someone holding coffee. Excuse me, says Donnie. Could you tell me where Kate Witman is? Who are you? says the PA. Im her boyfriend. Is she expecting you? I think so. Okay. Go on. RightI think shes on the green screen now. Go straight. Go right. Take a left. Take another left. Then a right. Could you repeat that? Straight. Right. Right. Left. Left. Got it. Wait! What? Youre her boyfriend right? Yes. Thats what I said a second ago. Why? Oooh, I was just wondering. How do you get a girl like that? You want tips on women? From me? It couldnt hurt. Ive been single for a while now. Uh Tips? Be nice. Are you serious? Dont nice guys finish last. Sometimes. Donnie walks away and follows the PAs instructions. He sees Kate being filmed. She is with her co-star, Rex Armstrong. Not his real name. The director yells cut. He goes over to Kate and explains what is needed. More passion, says the director. Pretend hes the love of your life. Really go for it. Kate nods, Ill try. Donnie watches Kate return to Rex. Rex shouts, Wait a minute. What is it? says the director. Its lunch time, says Rex. Lunch? Were in the middle of an important scene. Its very expensive. Hey, I cant work on an empty stomach. Are you serious? Look, if you wanna find someone else to fill this role Okay. Fine. Lunch time, everyone! The crew goes for food. Kate looks at Rex. So, she says. What did you think of my performance? You were very good, says Rex. Despite what the director thinks, you made me look magnificent. Okay. But what about my acting? Apart from you. Rex thinks. Apart from me? Well, youre just playing a romantic interestan object of desirea typical female role. So, its kinda hard to compare you to the greats. Um, mm, I guess you werent bad. Really? Sure, why not, babe? Rex walks away. Kate cannot take his eyes off of him. Donnie goes up to her and waves. Honey, he says. He holds up the bag he brought. I brought you some lunch. You did? says Kate. You know we have craft service, right? What service? Food. We have our own food. Well, it cant be better than home cooking, can it? What did you bring? A chocolate chip muffin, a sandwich, and cold coffee. Oooh, yuck. Yuck? Too many kilocalories. What too many calories? Youre so slim. You could use the food. I know. Its hard work looking like this. I gotta watch my finger. More than a pound overweight and Im out of Hollywood. This isnt Hollywood. I dont mean that literally. Right. Come on. Lets go to the craft service table. Well have lunch together. But what do I do with the food I brought you? Ill give it to Louis the Chimp. Louis the Chimp? Hes a big star around here. Donnie and Kate get to the craft service table. Kate picks up a salad and Donnie gets a slice of gourmet pizza. They head to a small table across from Rex, who is alone. Hes eating steak. Do you think we could sit with Rex? asks Donnie. No, says Kate. He likes being alone. Aw, cmon. Im serious. Its in his contract. No one is allowed to eat with him, no shiny objects on the ground, and no eye contact when not in front of a camera. That rule of course only applies to groundlings. Is this a joke? Actors and actresses get bugged all the time. If they can get privacy, they will jump at the chance. You think celebrities like giving autographs, and taking pictures with strangers? Get real. Has anyone asked for your autograph? Yeah. But they thought I was someone else. Oh

Did you sign their whatever? Autograph book? Yep, sure did. Thats hilarious. And so utterly dishonest. What should I do? Say Im not that person. Theyd be so disappointed. Youre so cute. Someone taps Kate on the shoulder. Excuse me, says an extra. I dont mean to bother you butcan you take a picture of me standing over there? He points right by where Rex. I know that he doesnt want anyone to, er, interact with him, so I thought I could surreptitiously take a picture. Dont want a picture with me? says Kate. Why would I want a picture with you? Im in the movie, you know! Hey, calm down. I didnt recognize you. Whats your name again? Kate. There are like a million Kates. Whats your last name? Witman. Right. Okay. Kate Witman, could you take a picture for me? Just real quick. Dont forget to get Rex in the picture. Im not taking a picture for you. You should leave him alone. The extra looks at Donnie. Sure, Ill do it, says Donnie. The extra stand just in front of Rex. Donnie takes the picture and returns the camera. Thanks, says the Extra and he walks way, smiling. Donnie sits back down. Kate loudly groans. You know, she says, you should be more supportive of me. What are you talking about? says Donnie. I refused to take a picture for that twit. You shouldnt undermine me and do it for him! Im sorry. Uuh, never mind. I should be sorry for raising my voice. Im just having a long day. Thats all. I understand. Really? Yeah. Do you still love me? More than Yorkshire pudding. Youre so romantic. Wanna go visit my trailer? You have a trailer? Yep. Well, I think I should finish my food first. I really think we should go to my trailer. Why? Kate winks. Oh! says Donnie. Okay! Quickly now, says Kate. Breaks nt that long. The two get up, leave their food behind, and go outside where the trailers are. They go inside one of the trailers marked Wardrobe. Principal photography is done and so is editing. The movie has finished. Its not long until billboard, newspaper, and magazine ads are everywhere. Today is the premiere of Exploring Heaven. Donnie and Kate are in a limo. They look out. There is a red carpet, and barriers to keep away screaming fans, and cameras abound. Wow, says Donnie, therere a lot of people here. They all have cameras. Yeah, says Kate. But theyre all here for Rex. Rex smiles. Im really excited to see this movie, says Donnie. I dont even know what its about. I know, says Kate. I wanted to make it a surprise. So when do we walk out? Well, were not walking out. Hmmm? I have to walk out with Rex. Oh? Show business stuff, you know. We have to make it look like were an item. It gets the media going. Then why am I in this limo? I didnt want to leave you hanging. Anyway, the driver will take you elsewhere. Will I even get to sit beside you? No. No? No. I told you. Me and Rex have to sit together. There will be cameras on us. Okay, okay. I understand. This is show business. Kate kisses Donnie on the cheek, Thanks for understanding. Rex looks at his watch, Shit. These people cant get their acts together. When can we go out? My legs are getting cramped. And the bloody champagne in here is warm as hell. A man outside comes up to the door and opens it. Everyone starts screaming. Donnie as a reflex tries getting out, but then Rex gets in his way, with Kate. Rex and Kate walk down a red carpet and go into the lavish movie theater/cinema. Donnie waits inside.

He turns his head to the limo driver, who has now started to drive. Well, isnt this something? Why are you talking to me? says Colin. What? I cant talk to you? says Donnie. Oh, no. I didnt mean it like that. Its just that usually no one talks to me. Actually, do you know the Queen rule? Whats that? Dont speak, unless spoken to. Thats a real rule? Yuuup. Well, Im talking to you now. Alright. Um Tell me, whos the most interesting person youve driven? I dont know about interesting, but I do know about worst. Do tell. Do you know Ellis Ragner? I think so. Shes that cute brunette that does all those Dis movies, right? Yep. She was in here with all her girlfriends. There were maybe six of them? Well, they did some drugsI dont know what and then they all went at it. Went at it? Are you telling me she had a drug-fueled orgy? I dont want to describe it. Im still having nightmares. I took me two whole days to clean the back seats. Holy Christ. I didnt think a girl like that would do that type of thing. Yeah, ha. Youd be surprised. These people are all image. Theyre so dishonest. But I mean why not? They lie for a living? Isnt acting just lying with your entire body? Well, I dunno if I agree with that. Not every actor or actress is full of shit. No, no, Im not saying that. Im just sayingwhat you see is not what you get. Right. But we all do that from time to time, right? Like we lie about how much we weigh, how old we are all. Yeah, I know. But not on this level. Comparing an actor to a regular person is like comparing a giant to a midget. What? I dunno. Anyway, were here. Donnie gives Colin a tip, and then he gets out. He is at the back of the theater. A man is holding open the door. He gives his name and then goes through. He looks around and sees Kate sitting with Rex, which is quite vexing. He brushes off his anger and then takes the only seat available that is by a column and beside a heavy set man with breathing problems. So they look like a couple, isolate in this area. As courteous as ever Donnie shakes hands with the man who is named Harv (short for Harvey). Nice to meet you. Sooo, how did you get in here? says Harv. Whats that? says Donnie. My cousin works in the industry. Thats how I got tix. Shes an insider. Is that so? Yeah. She does interior decorating for celebrities and junk. You can make a living doing that? Oh yeah. Those celebs are obsessed with how everything looks. Theyre quite anal. Yeah, I hear. Harv munches on popcorn. So, you like these types of movies? As strange as it sounds I really dont much about it. Actually my girlfriend I hear yah! These movies are always super dull. Dramas. Dont get me started Anyway, I just came here to see the celebs really. The Kate, shes something else. I agree. Donnie squints at Kate with Rex. He swears that Rexs hand is atop Kates. He isnt sure, its a tad hard to see.. He is about to get up when a man stands in front of the cinemas screen. He is well dressed and with a microphone. Its the director Ben Mann. Hello, everyone. Im Ben Mann. The director of this movie as some of you may know, and Id like to thank you for coming to see this premiere. Its been a long journey and I appreciate the support. I hope that you all will enjoy this as much as I did. This is the culmination of three years of work. Alright, now, Ill stop talking. Everyone chuckles a little. Begin the movie! The lights lower and Benn Mann disappears into the shadows. The movie starts to plays. Its a typical romance movie. Very dramatic, if a bit clich. Girl loves boy, boy doesnt loves girl, and they go back and forth on it. The audience is quite enjoying it. Everyone is quiet, even Colin. Donnie is paying careful

attention. He sees Kate for the first time in the movieshe is with Rex manning. They are holding each other and talking. It seems like not much is going to happen, and then they start kissing. Wildly. And passionately. Saliva is exchanged, and tongues go where they shouldnt be. Then they strip down, get into bed, and do the dirty. Its loud and full of slapping noises. Donnie looks around, wondering if hes the only one thats disturbed. Nope. Everyone is captivated, maybe sexually aroused. Donnie looks down. He cant stand to see the movie. Its getting under his skin. His eyes start welling up. He tells himself, in his head, Its just a movie. It doesnt mean anything. But then the scene gets worse and worse (at least for him) and then he starts having something that isnt too dissimilar to an asthma attack. He gets up out of his seat, and runs off, and exits. While his face is covered he goes into the washroom and runs into a stall. There he starts blubbering. He sits on the toilet and waits about an hour and a half. He gets out and goes inside, and collects with the others outside, in the lobby. Kate is holding hands with Rex, posing for the cameras. She sees Donnie in the corner of her eye, but ignores him, and then goes outside. Donnie is upset even more, but this time he manages to keep his calm. He takes in a deep breath, and gets his back off the wall. He talks to himself. Relax. Calm down. Its no big deal. Its a one time thing. He goes over the concession stand, past the trail of trash, and orders a cola to soothe his throat. Its 5 or 6 in the morningDonnie isnt sure; hes lost his watch. He stumbles out of a bar that he doesnt know the name of, and gets into his car. He gets home after knocking over only two mail boxes and a trash can. Hes at the door without keys. He looks under the mat and gets a key. He uses the key to open the door. He goes in and sees Kate facing the door, in an armchair, in a robe. Her hair is undone. Nice to see you, she says. Nice to see you, too, replies Donnie. Where were you? Enjoying myself. I looked everywhere for you! Well, you shouldve looked everywhere and then some! What is your problem? Do you know how embarrassed I was? Everyone thought you left early because I was a cold fish. I left for another reason, mmkay. Donnie kicks the door closed without looking. And what is that reason? says Kate. She stands. I didnt like the movie. Well, thats great, Mr. Roper! Glad for your harsh review, glad I took you to the theater for free! Is it two thumbs down or one star out of five, hmm?! I didnt like for reasons for you wont understand. Im here. May as well let me have it. The love scenes. What about them? Bad acting? No. They They what? They hurt my feelings! Alright? There! I said it. They hurt me. Thats why you left? Thats why you didnt like the movie? Because of a silly love scene. Where you were kissing another man, naked, and getting schtupped like a tax payer. Its fake, you know that, right? Oh, it didnt look fake. It looked like you were enjoying it. So what if I was enjoying it? Hes a good kisser. How could you say that? Do you know how hurtful that is? Well, what should I do? Lie? Do you want me to lie? I dont want to you to lie. Look, Im an actress now. This is what I do for a living. You have to accept it. Do you have to do these movies that require you to kiss menand more? No, but I choose whatever script will help my career. Is your career really that important? Dont even ask that question. Okay, so whats the point of this conversation? Why are we even talking if nothings going to change? Please. You have to understand. I worked really hard for this.

Donnie goes to the armchair and sits down. Well, he says, in a contemplative mood. I guessI guess I cant stop you. Kate sits beside. Look, Im not doing this to hurt you. If I knew you were going to react the way you reacted then I wouldnt have taken you along. I cant even get the images out of my head. Kate puts an arm around Donnie. Donnie, you have to realize that I dont care about Rex. Or any actor I work with. I mean I do, but not as much as you. You are my boyfriend and that means something to me. Lets not blow this out of proportion. Its a job. Acting is just a job. So, you think Im being unreasonable? I think so Well, I dont feel unreasonable. Ah, Donnie, you just have to give it time. Youll get used to it. I promise it wont get any worse. Youve already seen the worst. Kate kisses Donnie on the cheek. Come on, she says. Dont be so glum. Lets go out for breakfast. She takes Donnie by the hand and the two get up from the armchair. They walk to the living room. Should we move the chair back? says Donnie. Nah, says Kate. The Butler will do that. Donnie and Kate are driving along the parkway. Donnie notices the billboard for Kates movie. Man, says Donnie, I see your face everywhere. Its like youre following me. Well, says Kate, I am your girlfriend. Oh, uh-he-he, I mean through all these adverts. Seriously. I cant even avoid you. Youre in magazines, newspapers, radio, TVI swear next youre gonna be on my computer. And how would they do that? Get an advert into your computer? The internet, I guess. Whats that? Oh, its this new thing. It connects computers together, from any corner of the world, and allows them to send information back and forth. Like e-mail? You know what e-mail is? Sounds familiar. Whats that all about? It allows you instantaneously send message to anyone with a computer, and of course an internet connection. It stands for electronic mail. I dunno. I think people prefer letters. It has a human quality to it. But you dont understandthis is fast. A letter takes what? A week, half a week at best, to receive? You can get an e-mail in a couple minutes. I dunnoooo. This internet thing kinda sounds like a fad. Yeah people will play with it, have some fun, and then go back to whatever they used before. Aah, who knows. Trust me. I know what Im talking about. Itll be gone before you know it. Like pet rocks. Donnie and Kate get to the traffic light. A dark skinned person jumps out and starts taking pictures of them. Kate gets spooked. Donnie honks his horn and then turns. Then he takes his car into a parking lot. Kate and Donnie get out. The man with camera follows them as they head to the bistro. Donnie is annoyed. He says to Kate, Why is this man following us? Do you know him? I dont know him, says Kate. Hes a paparazzo. Is that so? Yeah. Donnie turns around and faces the paparazzo named Trey. Hey, he says, why dont you stop falling us around? Hm? Trey retorts, Its a free country. I can do what I want. White boy. Im not Not what? Shut up. Kate pulls Donnie along. Lets just keep going, she says. Donnie breathes out in a frustrated manner. God this is annoying. Its only one person, says Kate. Yeah, youre right, says Donnie. Kate and Donnie get to the front of the bistro and see a dozen more photographers. They both huff and work their way through, and then get into the bistro. They find a table in the back. Welp, here we are, says Donnie. He jokes. I hope no one bothers us again. To be honest, replies Kate, Im kinda flattered. Why? Well,

when someone takes your photo its usually because youre prettyor handsome. You are pretty, very pretty, I agree. But Im not so sure paparazzi take photos to capture anyones beauty. Still I think its very flattering. Donnie tries to change the subject. Soooo, he says while looking at his menu, they mozzarella sticks here. Thats pretty cool. Kate groans, Ew. Im just gonna have a salad. A salad? Something wrong? No. I just think there are so many things on the menu. Maybe you can get something else? Why? Do you actually like the taste of salads? Theyre pretty good. With dressing. But you never put dressing on your salad. I know, too many calories. Come on, live a little. Have something else. I dont want to get fat. How about a hamburger? Oh, god. Why dont I just eat a stick of butter? Alright. Pizza! Pizzas good! Its got the four food groups! Dairy. Grain. Fruit. And the other one. Fiiine. Lets order pizza. Alright! Now wheres the waiter? A man in a rugby shirt arrives at the table. Are you waiter? asks Donnie. No, says Marcellus. I wanted to ask for an autograph. Or as they say in England a signature. Well, says Donnie, I think I can arrange that. He takes out a pen. Kate nudges him in the side. Hes talking to me, he says. Donnie looks a bit embarrassed, Oh. Yes, says Kate, I would be delighted. Whats your name? She takes Donnies pen and the little book from Marcellus, which is filled with white pages that contain a variety sigs. Marcellus Simpson, says Marcellus. But please dont make it out to me. Why not? says Kate. Well, says Marcellus, this is my retirement. Whats that? Yeah, when Im older Im going to sell my autograph book, and use it to retire. Are you serious? Oh, please dont get offended. I really do love your movies. Im not just using you. I think youre a great actressyoure probably the most beautiful woman in the world right now. Thank you. Donnie half rolls his eyes, trying not to be seen. Kate signs Marcellus autograph book. Oh, says Marcellus, can I have a picture too? Absolutely, says Kate. Kate and Marcellus pose, and Donnie takes a picture with a disposable camera. Marcellus takes his camera and his autograph book and goes after giving thanks. Now, says Donnie, what were we talking about? The waitress, waitress Gina, comes by. Hello, says Gina, how can I help you two today? Im Gina. Que voulezvous? Oh, you speak French, says Kate. Yes, says Gina. I have many skills besides waitressing. I see. Yes, I can act as well. Did you know this? Shall I show you my impression of Audrey Stern? Uh Dawling, dawling, oh dawling! Okay. Can I order now? Im sorry. Yes. What would you like? Que voulez-vous? Two diet cokes, and a pizza with half cheese, and green peppers. Ew, says Donnie. Half cheese and green peppers? Problem? says Kate. Or shall I get a salad? Ah, you know what, thatll be fine. For the both of us. Gina nods and then leaves. God, says Kate, that woman was so annoying. More annoying than what, says Donnie, the guy with the pen or the cheesy autograph book? Oh, dont get me started. That was trying to infringe on my territory. Ive been working in this job for years, and she thinks she can just show up with her dual languages, and out stage me! Well, shes get another thing coming. She has neither the looks nor the talent. Come on, no one can out stage you. You have nothing to worry about. Aah, I suppose youre right, says Kate. She jokes. I am quite special, arent I? Of course, says Donnie. Youre my little

princess. Oh, by the way, remember the way you reacted to my onscreen romance? Yeah? How should I say this? Uh, thats not the last of it. Whatre you talking about, Kate? My agent has been sending me more screenplays and they are all kinda similar. Youre not going to kiss more men are you? Sorry. You know what I think about this? Forget it. We dont even need to discuss it. But KateI think a kiss is very special. I think its something you only do with someone you really, really love. I think its something that everyone lives for. BUT thats only my opinion. If you think that a kiss is worthless, and just like a handshake, then thats fine. I can live with that. Kate glares for a minute, and then folds her hands, staring at Donnie. So youre okay with this? says Kate. Do I have a choice? says Donnie. No. This isnt the 1950s. Okay. Glad we got that out of the way. Look, Donnie, I dont want you to resent me. This is my calling. Who called you? Ugh, if youre going to be immature. Alright, Im sorry. Good. A waiter arrives with pizza. Wheres Gina? says Donnie. Fired, says Corie. What? The manager thought she was annoying the both of you. You shouldnt have done that. Now I feel terrible. It wasnt me. Okay. Your restaurant shouldnt have done that. I am afraid that shes already left. She was quite angry. I feel awful. We both feel awful. Kate folds her arms, Speak for yourself. Donnie stands. Alright, he says, Im going to come back. Donnie against the wishes of Kate and his Waiter goes outside. He marches around and looks for the waitress with the long auburn hair. He sees a woman and taps her on the shoulder. She turns around, great luck, its her. Her nose and eyes are a bit red. Excuse me, but, uh, do you remember me? says Donnie. No response. Ahem, he continues, me and my girlfriend mightve got you fired. I just wanted to apologize. Thanks, says Gina. But Im still out of a job. I can fix that, says Donnie. Im a businessman. Kinda. Im recently retired, but stillI can definitely help you. Would you like a job? Doing what? I have no skills, other than waitressing. Do you want to be my girlfriends assistant? Shes really putting a lot of stress on my butler. You have a butler? Um, uh, yeah. Im not a spoilt as I look! Hey! Im employing people. Thats a good thing, right? Alright, Ill be your girlfriends assistant. Whats she like? The girl in the restaurant is my girlfriend. Kate. Her? Oh! Of course, of course, its so obvious. So what did you say? Did you discuss this with Miss Kate? Miss Kate should be fine with it. Doubt shed mind getting a little help. Okay, but the thing is Money? Ill pay you twiceno, thrice what you get at the restaurant. Including tips? Yes. Alright! That sounds like a good deal. Then its settled. Donnie gives Gina his business card and then the two shake hands. Donnie returns to the bistro and takes a seat beside Kate. Kate is already eating. Donnie and Kate are arguing. Not in the bistro now, in their home. I cant believe you, says Kate. You go behind my back and hire Lacy Longlegs to be my assistant? I was trying to make things right, says Donnie. And her name is Gina. Oh, she has a name now? Of course she has a name! Doesnt everyone? I dont want her as my stupid assistant, or butt pamperer, or whatever shes supposed to do. Please. Just give her a chance. She is a really sweet girl. Sweet? Did you taste? I dont know what you mean by that. Donnie, I dont want an assistant. But youre always saying youre so busy!

Why not? Youre not even paying for it. Its a present. Alright, fine. She can be my assistant. Good. But Im not very happy about this. Donnie and Kate look at each other silently for a moment, very seriously, and then suddenly smile. They start laughing hysterically. What are we laughing about? says Donnie. I dont know, says Kate. Then the two look at each other again, deeply, and kiss. They kiss passionately and go down to the floorunintentionally. Kate bumps the back of her head. She pauses to say, Ow! She rubs her bump. Donnie picks up her, Are you okay? Im so sorry. Yeah. Can I get you some ice. No, I think Im fine. Im gonna go up to my room and take a rest. Are you sure? Maybe I should call a doctor. Its a waste. Dont bother. Im going to lie down now. Can I come with you? You stay here. I need some peace and quiet. I have things to do tomorrow. Kate goes upstairs and leaves Donnie to be alone. Some days go by. Aside from Donnies charity work, which has been mostly on autopilot, and the growth of his beard, there hasnt been much to do. He spends his time, in his office, doing a minute amount of paperwork, and catching up on reading. He looks anxious. He unfolds his legs. Damn it, he says aloud, why hasnt she called me yet? She said she would call. He huffs. I guess shes busy I should busy myself too. What to do? Donnie opens his desk drawer and finds a tennis ball. He takes it in his hand and squeezes it. He gets up and then leaves for his yard. In the yard is a big fence construct and a dog house. Donnie goes up to it, with the tennis ball in his hand. Hey, boy. Hoser, you wanna come out and play? Hoser comes out of his dog house and starts barking angrily. Whoa. Whats the matter? Donnie has a guilty look on his face. He shows the tennis ball, I was just wondering if you wanted to play catch? Hm? Hoser continues barking. I know I havent played with you in a long timecause Kates allergic, but you hafta forgive me. Come on, pal? Wait a minute. Donnie reaches into his pocket and takes out some beef jerky. He waves it in front of Hoser. Hoser salivates. Donnie carefully unlocks the kennel door and frees Hoser, winning him over immediately. The two play catch until they get tired. John appears by the sliding doors. Donnie says John. Theres a call for you. Stay here, says Donnie to Hoser, then he goes inside and answers the phone. Hello, he says. Its Kate, Sweetie, how are you doing? Kate! Finally! You called? How are you, my lovely love? Good. Very good. And hows Gina? Is she a good assistant? Yeah! She does everything I say. I mean everything. Oh? Yeah, dont worry about it. So whatve you been doing? Thinking about you. Of course. Besides that. Have you been thinking about me? What do you think? Yes? Yes. Sooo, uh, hows your moving coming along? Not bad. So, so. Honestly. Its kinda boring. So many takes. Its like Im giving you my best! What do you want? I miss you. Do you think I can come and see you? I dont think so. Why not? Its very secretive around here. You know, I didnt even get the whole script. I just got bits and pieces. Alright, thats fine. I wont come and visit you. Buuut can I have you phone number? Oh God, honey. Im so sorry. Were travelling up and down. Its gonna hard to get into contact. Alright, fine Dont worry. Ill be sure to call you. When I have the time. Donnie is silent. Hello? says Kate. Are you still there? Yeah. I was justdistracted. Anyway, before I go I wanna ask you something. And I dont want you to get angry. Okay? Alright. I want you to get rid of Hoser. My dog? Yeah. But Why? I have

allergies. Hes already in the back yard. I know, and hes very miserable. Havent you noticed? He needs a new place to stay. He needs to stay somewhere thatll make him happy. But hes my dog. Weve been through thick and thin. Oh, please. You havent played with that mutt in ages. And dont you want him to have a decent life? Hes lonely. Donnie leans forward and sees Hoser lying in the grass. Okay, he says. Ill do it. I guess it makes sense. Dont neat around the bush either. I want him out of there ASAP. I know whats going to happen. Youre going to put it off until you forget. Do it within the week. Okay. Donnie hears someone screaming at Kate, telling her to get of the phone. Shit, she says, I have to go. Talk to you later, sweetie. Love you, says Donnie. The phone hangs up. The next day. Donnie is in his living room with Hoser by his side. He is interviewing a potential pet owner, number fifteen. She is an elderly lady that is dressed from an era long gone. She has a fur jacket, turquoise earrings, and black hair with distinguishing white streaks. So, says Donnie, while patting Hoser on the head, why do you think youre qualified to take care of this fine beast? Well, says the old lady named Gladis, Im quite good with children. But pets, animals? says Donnie. Oh, pshaw, same thing arent they? I dont think so. Children are just like animals. They need to be cleaned, wiped, and fed. Alright, heh. Very funny. Im taking it you have a few children? None at all. Uh, not even one? Nope. Ive never had children of my own. Thats why Id like to own a dog. Its the next best thing. Okay thendo you have experience with animals? No. This will be my first furry beast. Right. You know, Im looking for someone that has experience with animals. I want my friend to be well taken care of. I can do that. Its simple. It shouldnt be too hard. Ill take care of him well until hes old and almost on his death bed. And then Ill stuff him and put him in my living room. Thats kinda creepy? It isnt. Its taxidermy. People have been practicing it for hundreds of years. Yeah. I dont think this is gonna work out. Are you sure? I am an animal lover, you know. Youre wearing a fur coat. Because I love animals. Donnie narrows his eyes. Im gonna think about this one, alright? He stands. Shall I show you out? He shows Gladis out. As soon as he closes the door there is a knock. He opens it and is surprised to see Xavier. Hello, neighbor, says Xavier. Nice place you have. What are you doing here? says Donnie. Dont you have anything better to do? What? An old acquaintance cant swing by? Donnie glares. Relax, says Aaron Xavier. He holds up a flyer with Hosers picture. Im here to see the dog. Youre not seeing MY dog. What? Why not? Are you not giving away a Dalmation? I am but Then let me in to see the old boy. Fine. Be quick. Im always quick, heh. Aaron goes into Donnies living room. Sit down, please, says Donnie. Why? says Xavier. Im going to interview. For your dog? I want him to have a good home. Alright, Ill play. You have no other choice. Aaron sits and Donnie does too. Wait, says Aaron, whyre you getting rid of your dog? Allergies, says Donnie. You got a dog when youre allergic? Not me. My girlfriend. Kate. Yes, you know here very well, dont you. So she moved in with you and now you gotta toss your best friend? Hes not my best friend Teddy iswas my best friend. Okay, what are you going to ask me? First, why do you want my dog? Are you here to just annoy me? I like

animals and I have a day off, so I thought Id kill two birds with one stone. Visit an ol pal, maybe get a dog at the end of it. Im not your pal. Well, were not strangers. ALRIGHT. What do you know about dogs, hmm? I love dogs. Theyre great. When I was a kid I used to have a dog. Name was Maxbanal I knowbut he was my bested friend. I swear, I spent more time with him than my dad. You got daddy issues, hmm? Hey, shut up. Lets stick to the issue. Right. What kind of house do you live in? Are you serious? My place is bigger than your place, and I think this is a pretty big place. Just checking. I dont want Hoser living in a hole. Look, Donnie, you know that I have the means to take good care of your dog. Im a stand up guywell, when it comes to animals. Why dont you give him to me? Because you just want something of mine. You like chipping away at me. Its your hobby. Im just being friendly. You dont get me. If I give you a hard time it means I like you. Dont you like me? Heh. Donnie doesnt answer. He has his hands together and is thinking. Fine, he finally says, you can have him. Its not like I can find anyone better. Great, says Aaron, but I dont really want him. What? I just wanted to see whether I could get you to give me your dog. Oh, and I was really bored. You son of Calm down. Lets chat like old times. Remember when we were in university? Good times! Unlike you I was actually studying. I wasnt doing a bullshit English degree. Its not bullshit. I recently got a writing gig. Where? At a British tabloid. Ha! Dont Ha! me; check out the news article I wrote. You might be interested. Aaron reaches into his sportscoat and hands Donnie a magazine. Turn to page twenty six. Donnie does so. He sees a picture of Kate walking on a trail and holding hands with someone. What is this? says Donnie. How old is this rag? Its fresh off the stands, says Aaron. But I know. Its heart breaking. Youre here like a loser and your girl is holding hands and flirting with someone. Im concerned. He shouldnt be touching her waist like that. Its probably for her movie. Its a movie scene. I trust her. I looked into it and no its not. Its definitely on her free time. Hey, I have some other photos if youd like to see. They didnt get published. Id rather not. This is all conjecture. Conjecture! Godbloody, Donnie. Dont be so ignorant. Kates cheating on you. No. No. Shed never do that. I know her. I know her. Stop repeating yourself, shes sleeping with that guy. Donnie stands, Fuck you, okay! Aaron remains seated. His finger tips are touching. Really? he replies. I come her as the messenger and youre getting angry at me? Get angry at your girlfriend. No, I know you. You just want us to break up. This is your plan to get between us. I know it. Sit down. I have all the women I need. Donnie sits down. Look ere, continue Aaron, I know what youre going through. Ive been there. Ive had these ups and downs. Ive been with a trophy girl. Trophy girl? Yeah. Kinda like Trophy wifebut girl. Okay. It explains why you like Kate. Love. Okay, love. You know why you love Kate? Why? Because she represents everything you couldnt have before. Shes that fair skinned, blonde, pretty, flirty, popular girl that rejected guys left and rightincluding you. And now that youve got all your shit together suddenly you want to have another crack at that. You want the cherry on top of the cake to top off everything. You derive your self-worth from her. Shes the trophy girl, the prize that you show to everyone, to show how successful you are. I do not derive my self-worth from her, says Donnie. And she is not my trophy girl/wife/whatever. Get your Freud stink pile and get out of here. Youre in denial, says

Aaron. I am not. Must you be so disagreeable? No. If Im so wrong, then why am I talking to Mr. White? Mr. White? Look at you. You look like a sheet of paper. I think I look fine. I cant believe it. You changed yourself to impress a woman thats cheating on you. She is not cheating on me! Stop saying that. Open your eyes, man. She clearly shes up to no good Okay, lemme ask you a question. Did she take her birth control pills with her? For her trip? Man, youre nasty. Answer the question. Alright, fine, so what? Lets say she is cheating, lets stretch my imagination. What should I do, huh? Throw everything away? No. Just go out and have your own fun. Make things equal. What are you suggesting? Do you know how my family got their start in real estate? Farm land? No. Women. Are we talking aboutoh my god, thats how your family got rich? No. Thats how we started. You think an immigrant in the 1940s could get a bank loan to start a house building business? That is so disgusting. Well, at least you all stopped and went legit. We never stopped. Your familys still in the prostitution business? Oh yeah. We never lost touch of our roots. Do you know how much one brothel brings in a day? Plenty. I should call the cops. The cops use our services. Damn. Stop being judgmental. Why dont you come and us your services? First ones free. Im not gonna do that. Come on. Your girlfriends cheating on you, you have nothing better to do, you have needs, why not? The answer is no. Aaron hands Donnie a business card. If you change your mind. Its one of many in Donnies wallet. (Donnie is at Chucks barbershop.) Alright, says Donnie, just take good care of him, alright? He looks down at Hoser as his head is being rubbed by Chuck. Im gonna treat him like my own son, Chuck smirks. You have a son? I had a son. What happened? I was busy cutting hair and he ran out into the street and got hit by a car. Uuuh, oh. Ive never forgiven myself. Are you sure you want this dog? Sure do! Okay, okay then. Ill see you later. Donnie shakes Hosers hand, And you too. Maybe. Donnie drives along a winding road that slowly rises, he passes a plethora of trees, and then comes to a dirt parking lot. He stops and gets out of his car and goes into a wooden building that says Xavier Vineyard. When he goes through the entrance a bell above him rings, and a lady in black comes out. Hello, says Alexa. Are you here for the wine making tour? Im here for theuh, special tour, says Donnie. Oh! Alright! Please follow me then. Im Gina BTW. Alexa leads Donnie through the back door (not her back door) and takes him outside. They walk down a narrow but well-traveled path and then, after a few minutes, come upon a large building that is also Xavier-branded. It is called Xaviers Bed and Breakfast. They go inside. Alexa says to the lady behind the counter, Give my friend the special treatment for his special tour please. Alexa leaves and is left with Mel. So, says Mel, is this your first time here? Have you ever been to a bed and breakfast before? Donnie scratches his head. I think Im in the wrong place actually. Are you? says Mel. I dont know. You tell me. Are you here to satisfy your needsor are you a weary traveler that has nowhere to go? I am not a weary traveler. Then you are in the right place, if I assume the former. Please tell me about your tastes. In wine? No.

Women. Oh! Okay. Uh, well, I like them like I like my coffee. In a paper cup. Come on. Be serious. You choose. I dont know what to pick. You seem a bit shy. Ill take you to Mercedes. No, no, no, nothing named after a caror expensive alcoholic drinks. Someone with a normal name please. Okay, I dont wanna do anything with a girl named BMW or Ferrari. Please. Picky, Picky Alright, Ill set you up with Rose. Do you have problems with a woman named Rose? Rose is good. Good. Then come with me. Donnie goes up, with Mel, up a spiraling staircase. They walk through the hall and get near the end. Mel knocks on door 115. It opens a bit and an eye looks out. Can I help you? says a shy voice. Open up, says Mel. I have someone for you to meet. Do I have to? This is the job youve chosen. Alright. Come on in. Mel leaves. Donnie goes inside the room and meets with Rose. Before Donnie can see Rose she goes over to her dresser and starts applying makeup. Itll just be a minute, says Rose. Please have a seat on the bed. Donnie does as told and waits with his knees together. Is this your first time? says Rose. How did you know? says Donnie. I know virgins when I see them. Call it an instinct. But Im not a virgin. Is that so? Of course. But its your first time paying, right? Uh, yeah. I knew it. Whats the matter? No girlfriend? Cant find love? No. I have a girlfriend. But shes cheating on me. Oh, God. Thats terrible. Id never do something like that. Is that so? Im prostitute not an asshole. Rose finishes doing he makeup. She sits beside Donnie and places her hand on his knee. So, she says, covered in mascara, what do you want to do? Sex? says Donnie. I know that. But do you have any favorite positions? I just wanna do something vanilla. Missionary, I guess. Rose lies on the bed and gets into position. Donnie turns, of course, to give his attention. But he doesnt immediately start jack hammering. Wait a minute, says Donnie. I cant sleep with a woman I dont know. Its not right. Okay, fine. says Rose. She sits up. Lets have a chat then. What would you like to know? I dunno. Uuuhh. Lets see. Whats your favourite colour? Red or purple. I think theyre about equal. Mm, do you have any hobbies? Board games. Anything specific? The one where you try to make everyone go bankrupt. Alright, uh, whats your favorite song? When You Wish Upon a Star. Is that a nursery rhyme? No, no, its that song from Pinocchio. Oh Hey, I know I shouldnt being ask this question to a lady, buthow old are you exactly? 19. Jesus Christ. 19? Youre still a teenager. But Im an adult. How long have you been doing this? Couple years? Omigod. I think Im gonna be sick. Hey, get off your high horse. Youre the one that thinks Im worth pieces of paper. Yeah, but you think that too. Obviously. No. Im only doing this because I have to. Alright? I dont have a choice. I have no family, no one that loves me, and I have no skills outside of being a living a sex doll. So dont look your nose down on me or think Im some kinda pathetic loser. I dont slut around because I like it. This is a job that feeds me. Donnie is dumbfounded. Well? says Rose. What do you say to that? Im sorry, says Donnie. I didnt mean to look down on you or anything like that. I apologize, sincerely. Its alright, sweetie. Rose scooches over to Donnie and starts caressing him. Cmon, she says, lets fuck. Do you have to call it that? says Donnie. Well, its not making love, is it? Oh, alright. Lets, er, fuck. Rose unbuttons Donnies shirt and rubs his chest. Then she moves it down slowly and works her way to his pants to unbutton them. Donnie looks at Rose and sees Kates face. He shakes his head and returns his vision to

normal. He pushes Roses hands away. No, I cant, he says in a panicked voice. Its not right. I dont care what she did. I cant do the same. I just cant. What are you talking about? says Rose. Donnie stands and brushes back his hair in a distressed manner. Never mind, he says. Its a personal issue. So are we going to do the deed or what? No. Im cancelling. You still took up my time, yknow what? Oh Whats my charge? Rose gets a slip of paper and writes down a number. She then hands it to Donnie. All that for talking! says Donnie. We didnt even Hey, says Rose, this isnt some run of the mill brothel here. You took up my time. Its not my fault you were all coy. Now pay up. Donnie crumples up the paper. Im not going to pay that. Not that much. Its robbery. Fine, says Rose, have it your way. She goes to her dresser and rings a bell. Immediately a man, about seven feet tall, comes barreling through the door. He is muscular and has a big vein in his forehead. Alright! Fine! says Donnie. Ill pay the stinking money. He takes out his cheque book and writes a cheque for the required sum. He gives it to Rose. If this bounces, Rose warns. Theres gonna be trouble. Yeah, says Donnie, dont worry. Im good for it. I wouldnt want to get into more trouble. Now would I?

About four months later. The weather is chilly at the airport. Donnie holds up a sign in a crowd that says: Kate Witma, Welcome Home! He is patiently waiting in the concourse. Kate appears with a rolling suitcase behind her. All the people around down rush forward and take out cameras and start taking pictures of Kate. Kate squints, despite the fact that she has on sunglasses. She tries walking around the photographers. Donnie jumps up with his sign and yells, Kate! Kate! But others are yelling the same thing too. Donnie goes through the crowd of paparazzi and finds Kate. Donnie, says Kate. I didnt see you there. Lets go, says Donnie. He grabs her hand and the two hastily exit the terminal. They get to the limousine waiting by the curbside, and get in the back. The partition is up. But Johns presence behind the wheel is no unnoticeable, while he is trying to maneuver around the paparazzi. He honks his horn and swears. He manages to swerve left and get free. Then he guns down the road. Donnie hugs Kate and kisses on the cheek. I missed you so much, says Donnie. I missed you too, says Kate. You were gone for so long. I was sodepressed. Really? Did you feel like killing yourself? No. Then you werent depressed. Okay. Lets not argue about semantics. Im sorry. Im just a little jetlagged. And tired. Work was hideous. Do you want me to rub your feet? That would be nice. Donnie takes Kates leg onto his knee and takes off her shoe and starts rubbing her foot. Kate looks a bit uneasy though, like shes not enjoying it. Is something wrong? says Donnie. You usually like my foot rubs. No, youre doing a very good job, honey, says Kate. Its just that Hold that thought, says Donnie. I remembered I have to do something. He picks up his mobile phone and dials a number. Hey, Maya, says Donnie. Its me. Donnie. Is George there? I know. I havent called in a really long time. Its just that Ive been pretty busy. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Black history month, eh? Are you sure theyd want me there? You know that I dont look quite so Yeah, I know. Everyones used to it by now. But I still think itstell you what? Why dont I donate some money? Huh? Or I

could hire someone and send them there. Ooh, I know a lot successful people Hm Alright. Ill talk to you later. Tell George to call me. Bye! Donnie says Kate. Donnie makes another call. Pearl? says Donnie. No, I havent forgotten about you. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Right, right, right, right. Look, Im calling to let you know that I am doubling the funding for the shelter. Yes. Okay. Alright, enough with the jokes. Yeah. I realize that. Ha! Thats what you think? Get yourself back down to reality, sister. Oh, jeez. Do you really? Huuuh, alright. Bye for now. Donnie is about to make another call when Kate grabs away his phone. Dont go on the phone while Im trying to talk to you, says Kate. Its incredibly rude, not to mention annoying. I meanIm right in front of you. Pay attention. I have something important to tell you. Can it wait? says Donnie. No, it cant wait. Look Im not in the mood to hear things right now. Im really tired. Save it. Youre tired? Yeah. I am. Its 6 in the morning. Fine. Lets get a cuppa coffee and then well have a chat. Im not in a chatty mood. Well, I am! Stop yelling. Whats your problem? Whats your problem? You come here and greet me affectionately and now youre giving me the cold shoulder? I have a lot of things on my mind. Like what? Things What things? Things!!!!!!! And I really dont want to hear what you have to say right now! Donnie pushes Kates foot off his knee. Kate folds her arms and frowns. Donnie rubs her back. Look, says Donnie, I already know what you wanna tell me. You dont need to explain yourself. Ive had plenty of time to think about it. Im fine with what you did. Just dont do it again. Kate looks extra sulky. The partition of the limousine comes down. Hey, says John, you guys wanna stop for breakfast or something? Im really hungry. John sits at the counter of the diner while Donnie and Kate sit in a booth. They both have coffee and are trying to hide. Donnie has black with nothing, and Kate with plenty of sugar and cream. They stare at each other, not saying anything. Finally Donnie speaks up. Uh, hey, he says, what happened to Gina? Gina who? says Kate. You assistant. Her? Oh yeah. She quit half way through. She quit? Why? She said she was tired of my bullshit. Oh God. What did you do to her? Nothing. I just put her to use. How? Id make her do menial taskslike being my chair. Your chair? Yeah. Sometimes no chairs were available, so Id make her get on all fours, and then Id sit on her. He-he. Thats terrible, you know that, right? Yeah, but I tried to make it up to her! I tried kissing her at a party. What is wrong with you? Oh, relax. Its no big deal. I barely got my tongue in there. Omigod. Calm down, Mr. Roger. Its no big deal. My behavior, for your information, is completely normal In your industry. Which is horrendous. You act like Im selling drugs to kids. Why cant you be a good girl? Kate looks at Donnie. Then pinches his cheek affectionately. I am a good girlin the public eye. Thats not what I meant, says Donnie. Hoo, youre a real prude, you know that? But thats why youre so cute. I really missed you when I was gone. Really? Yeah. Is that so hard to believe. Maybe. Why? I never get to see you, and when youre gone guess what youre doing? Kissing other men. And women. Hows that supposed to make me feel? Must we always talk about this? I told you. Its show business. Not getting topless would be a crime. So, whats more important to you, my feelings or your job? Its not a job, its a career. And its not fair to compare the two.

Why not? Theyre entirely different, you and what I do! So youd never ever consider quittingto make me happy? That would make you happy? Yes and no. Yes and no how? Yes, because I wouldnt have to deal with the circus that follows you around, and I wouldnt have to see you get intimate with other people. No, because Id feel guilty for taking away something that you love. Kate holds her head up with her arms. Oh boy. Donnie sighs. I just hate the idea that Im second to what you do. Ill tell you the truth. Okay? If you stop pestering me I would not give up my career for anyone. Its not you. Its nothing personal. Im just a realistic person. Were boyfriend and girlfriend; not even married. Why in the world would I ruin my future for someone that I might not be with in a year or two. Is that how you think? I feel like I should apologize, but Im not going to do. I was honest with you. Donnie is silent. Kate pokes him in a playful manner. What are you thinking about? she says. Come on, dont get sad on me now. Lets enjoy our time together. Its rare that we get to be alone. Donnie sits up and has a sudden change of mind. Youre right, he says. We should be enjoying ourselves. We shouldnt be bickering. Thats the spirit, says Kate. Wanna hear a joke that someone told me? Alright. That sounds enjoyable. Two cats walk into a bar. One meows and the other barks. The bartender asks the meowing one whats the matter with his friend. The cat frowns and says, Oh hes just being a bitch. Donnie smiles. Heh. I have a joke too. Wanna hear it? Sure. Why did the depressed man cross the road? I dont know. To get to the other side. Kate thinks for a minute and then laughs. Oh, thats dark! Donnie laughs too. They tell more jokes to each other and laugh themselves silly. The weather is near perfect on this warm socialist island. The view, right on the beach, is especially grand. Here Donnie and Kate walk while holding hands. The sands get between their toes, and massage their feet. You look really cute in your scantily clad bikini, says Donnie. Your swimming trunks arent bad either, says Kate. Hey, speaking of swimwear. Do you find it weird that women get uptight when people see them in their underwear, yet theyll be totally fine with a two piece? Isnt it almost the same? I never thought about this. I think it really boils down to environment. For example: People get naked in the shower. Thats socially acceptable. But getting naked at a family reunion, now thats a different thing. He-he-he-he. Youre so funny. Thats why I love you. Awww, thank you. Thats really sweet of you to say. Donnie pauses for a second. Whats the matter? says Kate. Nothing, he says. I was just thinking. Nothing important. Okay. The two continue along the shore until they reach a wall of rock, that has before it a blanket, a basket, a radio, and beach umbrella. They go and lie down to relax. Cool breeze blows upon them. Do you want some music? says Kate. No, thank you, says Donnie. The sound of the ocean is just fine. Kate is really loose and relaxed; she lets out a mmmm sound. This was a really good idea, she says. Im glad you convinced me to take a break. Being a celebrity is so hectic. Yeeep, says Donnie while stretching out his arms. It sure is. Is this not your idea of heaven? Just the two of us, perfect weather, and no one around to bother us? Anywhere with you is heaven, if Im honest. Heh, you and your sweet talk. Always with the sweet talk. Youre my sweetie pie is what. Kate turns to her side and lies on Donnies chest. Did you put on sun block in the changing room? says Kate. Hmm? Oh yeah, says Donnie. Im as pale as anything Its great. Hey, I have a question. Sure. Shoot. Do you

think well ever have a family together? Donnie is a bit surprised. A family? Right now? Not now. Later on. When Im a little older. Maybe 40? Why then? Ill be out of the movie business, Im thinking. A lady doesnt do well when shes past her thirties. Is that even possible? With modern medicine? Oh yeah. Sure. Alright, if thats what you want. If were still together at that point. Dont be silly. Of course well be together. Darkness falls. The city starts livening up. Its been a long day. Donnie wants to go rest in the hotel, but Kate is feeling excited. She drags him along to a local club. They get through the beads the hang on the door and find themselves in an antique building made of wood, probably from four decades ago. The place is more than half packed, and there is a live band with bongos, and upright bass, an acoustic guitar, maracas, trumpets, and even a five-key flute. The room is really shakingin a good way. Its so loud in here, says Donnie. I know, says Kate. I love it. Lets go have some drinks at the bar. They go over to the bar area. The bartender, who is dark skinned, and nearly bald, smiles at them. Hey, cholos, says Fidel. What can I get for you two love birds? Rum, please, says Kate. Two bottles and a glass. Uh, no, sorry! Two glasses and a bottle. Fidel takes out a bottle of rum and two large glasses. He drops ice into each glass and fills them up. Ooh, Kate, says Donnie. Im not really in the mood to drink. Ey, loosen up, says Kate. Were on vacation. She eyes the bartender, Do you have cigars back there? Yes, nothing else, says Fidel with a grin. He gets a box full of thick brown cigars and presents them. Kate takes one. She puts it in her mouth. Fidel chops off the end for her with a cutter and lights it with a lighter. For you, sir? says Fidel. No thank you, says Donnie. Im trying to cut back. You only live once. Is that so? Okay, never mind. Fidel sees someone waving at him, he leaves. Donnie looks at Kate smoking her cigar and drinking. Whats the matter? says Kate. Not in the mood? Have some rum. It tastes really good. No thanks. Alriiight, more for me. Kate drinks and drinks. Wanna dance? she asks Donnie. Im not a very good dancer, says Donnie. Yes! Lets go dance! Kate grabs Donnie and drags him to the sweaty dance floor, where dozens of people are shaking their money makers. The music compels Donnie to move, despite him not knowing anything about dancing. He appears a bit like a wet seal on land. Still Kate is enjoying herself. Soon Donnie is starting to enjoy himself. He and Kate are tearing it up. Then a tall muscular fellow taps Donnie on the shoulder. Mind if I cut in? he says. Actually, says Donnie. Sure! says Kate. Come on! Lets dance! Kate and this tall muscular fellow go elsewhere and start dancing together, leaving Donnie high and dry. Donnie watches Kate dance with this man that calls himself Antonio. Wow, says Kate, youre a really good dancer. Thank you, says Antonio. Youre just as good. You remind me of my ex-boyfriend! Is that so? Is he handsome? Very handsome Well, not so much now. Hes a vegetable now! What do you mean by that? He cant do anything on his own! People have to wipe his asshole for him! Wow. I still love him though. But what can I do? He doesnt even recognize me! Oooh! I hope they catch the criminal and put him in the chair! Do they even have that anymore? Here they do, I think.

Donnies hands are in fists as he watches. Hes getting very upset. He doesnt like the idea of Kate dancing with other men. He tries finding logic in his discomfort. Dancing, after all, he thinks, is a mating ritual. Peacocks do it. So do jumping spiders. And a bunch of other animals. Why not humans? Humans are animals too. I have a reason to be uncomfortable. He thinks more. Then again its just harmless fun, right? As long as shes happy thats good. Then the band music changes and Antonio and Kate change their mood. Kate sticks out her rear and lets Antonio rhythmically rub his whole crotch on it. It pretty much looks like theyre having sex, except theres nice music, and clothing. Donnie loses his cool. He yells in his head, Thats it! And he goes deep into the dance floor and grabs Kate. He starts pulling like she did to him earlier. Where are we going? says Kate. I was having fun Donnie gets Kate outside. Kate gets her arm free. Stop this RIGHT NOW! Whatre you doing! I was having a good time! I was dancing! You call that dancing? says Donnie. What else is it? Disgusting! Its not disgusting. None of it was disgusting. I dont want you to dance with other guys, okay? You cant tell me what to do! Youre not my dad! Youre not even my mom! SO LAY OFF, YOU DIRTY NIGGER! Thats what you are, deep inside, youre just a nigger. You havent lost your nigger attitude. You might look white and pretty on the outside, but deep in your gut youre just a classless, cotton picking nigger. Donnie is silent for a moment, and then responds. Heres what I think of you. Strictly speaking youre an adult. But truthfully, you have the brain and thought process of an underdeveloped teenager. Youre whiny, spoilt, and cant get enough attention. You have no self-esteem and only thrive when getting false affection from people that you dont even know you. Thats why you became an actress. For attention. Purely for attention. But can I blame you? Of course not. Youre just trying to fill in the void that your parents left behind when they split up. They dug deep into your gut and made an everlasting pit of despair. The thing is theres also a second reason why you became an actressto distract yourself from the fact that you caused your mom and dad to divorce. You were the thing that destroyed their romance. You put a wedge between them by being a needy, stupid baby. They turned their attention to you and then had no time for each other. You ruined their marriage. Kate walks up to Donnie and then slaps him across the face. So hard that he has a red hand print on his white cheek. Kate starts walking away into the night. Donnie follows. Wait, says Donnie. Im sorry! The two are going along at a hurried pace. They accidentally get to a dead, which is just fences of rotting wood, and abandoned shanty town shacks. Where the hell are we? says Kate, stumbling around. Donnie steps in front of her. Can we please talk? Kate tries to move. Donnie puts his hand on her shoulders. Get out my way! says Kate; her speech is slurred. When Donnie refuses she starts hitting him. Stop hitting me, says Donnie while defending himself, using his arms as a shield. But Kate is relentless. Donnie loses his temper and in the heat of the moment pushes her away and down. She falls to the floor with a thud. But she doesnt get up right away. She just sits there and starts sobbing uncontrollably. Donnie tries to help her up, but she swats him away. GET AWAY! she screams. Then she helps herself and starts walking away. This time Donnie does not follow. Hes speechless and can only watch her vanish into the dark.

Donnie and Kate are in their hotel room, packing their things at 6 in the morning. They are going slowly, taking their time. The mood in the air is very tense. The two are very far apart while filling their suitcases. So, says Donnie, some trip, huh? Kate stops what shes doing and looks at Donnie. Ive been thinking About what? Us. Oh. Alright. I think that we should What? Take a break. But we already took a break. This trip. Im talking about a breakfrom each other. Why do we need a break from each other? Thats silly. I hardly see you anyway. Youre always travelling up and down. Do we really need to officialize it? I think so. But I dont want to have a break in our relationship. Well, I do. And Im not going to have an arguments about it. Cant you give me a second chance? Trust me. This is for the better. Hows it for the better? Its better for me. Donnie is getting irritated. Fine. If thats what you want. Im cool. I dont need to be around you all the fucking time. Theres no need to get pouty. Lets be mature adults, alright? Not underdeveloped teenagers. Kate shakes her head, and then puts down the flap on her suitcase, and zips it close. Donnie is on his very long driveway, standing in front of a white van. Kate is in it, behind the wheel. Move out of the way, says Kate through the rolled down window. We dont have to do this, says Donnie. You can stay with me onyourour break. I wont mind, and I wont get in the way. No, Id prefer not to, says Kate. Itll be very awkward. I told you this already. Alright. Fine. But at least tell me where youre staying. At your momsagain? No. I have my own money now. If you havent noticed Im quite famous now. My next movie is being directed by Jim Krowe. The Jim Krowe? Yeah. You know the one, the one with all the big hits under his belt. Im going to be the leading lady in his next film. Not that that should matter to you. You dont like what I do. Please, says Donnie, why are you doing this? You already know why, says Kate. Dont make yourself sound like a broken record. I just think that this decision is silly. And hasty. When we get back together, youre just going to move back in. Youre putting yourself through a lot of unnecessary trouble. For once in my life I am not financially dependent on anyone. So, its quite presumptuous of you to think Ill be returningeven if we got back together. Will I get to see you? No. Its a break. Were taking breaks from each other. Will you see other people? Well, I dont have any plans of sort. But who knows? Im not gonna see anyone. I cant make guaranteesnow be a dear and stand aside. Donnie steps to the side and allows Kate to leave. She starts leaving slowly and carefully. He waves goodbye. Then he starts running. Running alongside the van when its starting to accelerate on the road. He bangs on the side. Wait! Kate stops. Donnie goes to the window. I just wanted to say one last thing, he says. He grabs her head and kisses her on the cheek. I love you. Kate places her forehead on the steering wheel of her van and sighs. She reverses and goes back up the driveway. She parks and gets out. Donnie goes over to her. Does this mean were not taking a break? No, says Kate, it means Im not moving out. Oh. Okay. I guess thats fine. Well, open the back of your van. Ill carry your stuff in. No need, says Kate. Its just junk in there and empty boxes. I wasnt really sure if I wanted to move. Alright, so wheres your stuff? I put it all in the guest house. Right. I almost forgot about that. Im gonna be living there for a bit; I hope you dont mind. No, no, not at all. Finally its gonna be put to use. I know that well be very close together. But I still want to stick to our break. I dont care that its

15 feet away. You cant come over and visit me like were boyfriend and girlfriend. I swear, if you do, I really, really, will leave. I promise. Scouts Honour. Donnie salutes with two fingers. Donnie is in a room, looking through a window. He has an overhead view of the guest house, where Kate is staying. Behind him is a table with an ashtray, and a boatload of black-stained ceramic mugs, that presumably were once filled with coffee. He sits up straight in his chair when he notices something outside. The door to the guest house swings open. Kate comes out with a man in overalls. Shes smiling. She gives the stranger a hug and two kisses on the cheek, then waves goodbye. Donnie has his hands clenched and is about to get up when he sees the man in overalls go over to a pickup truck emblazoned with a logo that says: Petes Plumbing. He stays in his spot. But he grumbles to himself, still thinking that shes being too affectionate with men. Kate recedes into the guest house. Donnie cracks his neck to the side and slumps forward in a tired manner. There are dark circles around his eyes. Hes been at this for days. Not quite a week, but days. There is a knock at the door. Donnie doesnt hear it. The knock comes again. He turns around. What!? he says. Johns voice is on the other side, Are you alright in there? Yeah! Im fine. Fine like fine wine. You dont sound fine. Well, I am. There were a lot of calls for you today. From who? George. Mike. Pearl. Charles. Rich. Jason. Alvin. Simon. Um Stop, stop. Thats too many names. If anyone calls, tell them Im out. You want me to lie? I want you to do as told. Yessir. And come into the room. Stop talking to me like Im an unhygienic invalid. John lets himself into the room. He quickly looks around the place. Would you like me to clean up? Its fine as it is, says Donnie while keeping his eyes on the window. It could use a cleaning. Will you stop? Stop being my butler for a second. Right. Now, why are you here? I know you and you have something to say. You have that question intonation in your voice that I hate so much. Actually Yes, I know, I know, I know! Youre going tell me that Im irrational, crazy, and stupid. Youre going tell me to go out and get some fresh air. Well, I have plenty of fresh air; Im right by a window. No, youre wrong, says John. I have nothing to say. Nothing? says Donnie. He turns around. Not one thing? Anything I say is gonna go in one ear and out the other. Why bother? Come on. Try me. Maybe Ill have an epiphany. Could happen. You never know. Youre acting really weird. That doesnt help anything. Say something else. Make me feel better. Lets see, uh You give to charity. You keep me employed in this tough economy. John is struggling. And you look, er, quite handsome? One, I give to charity to make myself feel better. Is that really charity? Two, you work for me. Im not helping you, its an exchange. Three, Im not handsome. Ive never been handsome. I disagree. You always disagree with me. Thats not true. Anyway, I think Im gonna take a break. Would you take over for me? But Sit down and watch. Donnie pushes John over to his seat by the window. He gives him a pen and notepad. Tell me exactly what happens, he says. Write it down. Im not going to spy on your girlfriend, says John. Its creepy. Is it? Yeah. What do you know? John signs. Ill be back later, says Donnie. Then he leaves. John sits down to watch TV. He searches for the remote. Where is it that bloody thing? he says. He violently flips the couch cushions and pushes the coffee table. Forget it, he says. He goes to his TV to turn it on and sees it sitting at the back on top. It was

camouflaged by its black color. He picks it up and then goes to sit down. He picks up a TV Guide and looks at the programs. He turns on the TV and starts surfing the channels. He sees Kate on a romantic perfume commercial. He presses buttons on the remote. He sees her on a TV show, then an equally steamy movie. Why cant this woman leave me alone?! says Donnie. He stands up and then kicks the TV so hard that it falls down, causing it to break. Flashing light and sparks come from the cracked glass. But the tube is still somehow functioning and he can still hear Kates voice, though its somewhat warped. Donnie pulls out the plug and puts the TV back onto its stand like nothing happened. Its his home, but he doesnt want to John to know that hes a destructive maniac. He still has a sense of decency. He gets a broom from the kitchen and picks up any debris. He lies down on the sofa and puts his head into the cushions. Stop thinking about her, Donnie says to himself. Get her out of your mind. This isnt healthy. He feels a tapping on his shoulder. He turns around to face John. Are you alright? says John. Will you stop asking me that, please? says Donnie in a lethargic. I told you already. Im fine. Fine like wine. Remember? Alright. But I have a question. Whys the TV broken? It accidentally fell over. I opened the door and a strong gust of wind knocked it over. Just the TV? The heaviest movable object here? Its a special concentrated type of wind. Anyway, whys it matter? I can afford another one. Right. Im going out. I wanted to let you know. You were supposed to be watching the guest house. I decided you dont pay me enough. Plus I think its illegal. Fine. Mr. Ethical Pants. Just go. Thank you. Dont smash anymore things while Im gone, okay? Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. John leaves. Donnie rolls back into his position with his face in the couch cushions. Stupid John, he grumbles. Thinks hes better than me. I can do whatever I want. This is my house. Not his house. Not stupid Kates house. He gets up. Yeah. Thats right. I own this place. He stands straight. Then he walks ahead and opens a closet. He takes the ash bat leaning in the corner. Donnie goes to the TV and finishes it off while screaming expletives like Fuck you world! and You piece of shit! Then he goes to every mirror in his mansion and smashes them to bits, along with anything else that is fragile or deemed worthless. Exactly 45 minutes later and he tires himself out. He goes into his room and tosses aside his bat. His arms are quite sore. He sits down. I feel much better, he thinks aloud. I wonder if this situation will be misconstrued. I better leave a note. Donnie leaves a large note on the door, in red marker, that says There hasnt been a robbery. He returns to his room and sits in an armchair, just waiting, doing nothing, staring blankly. Then there is a ring at the door. Must be John, he says. Then he goes to answer it. He opens the door and sees Gina, Kates former assistant. She has on very tight clothing. Youre not John, says Donnie. Who let you in here? Dont you remember me? says Gina. Actually I do... Well, I was in the neighborhood and I thought Id visit. I heard the bad news. What bad news? You broke up with Kate. I didnt break up with Kate. Were on a break. Similar but not quite the same. So, youre not open for business? No. Why would I be? I dont mean to patronize you, but you do know what I break is right? Yes. I do know. Its when two people separate, temporarily, so that they can focus inward on themselves and discover things that they never discovered before. Its self exploration, quiet thinking time for the mind. Gina rolls her eyes and picks at her tooth with her tongue, and then yells, Shes fucking other people! What? says Donnie. A break is a tool designed by women that allows a female to go out and fuck other people

with a safety net. If she fucks, and then fucks up, and regrets it, she can always go back to you. Must you swear so much? Im trying to get something through your head here. While youre at home, alone, stewing, shes out there having sexor at least going out on dates, and getting frisky. Youre wrong, okay, just plain wrong. Shes not doing anything. Shes just taking time for herself, so that she can think. Its nothing more than that and if you think otherwise, then you shouldshut up. How mature. Look, I know what youre getting at. Im not interest. Stop trying to change my mind. Gina takes Donnies hand and puts it on her chest. Are you sure? she says. Yes, says Donnie. He swallows a ball of spit in his throat. Im, uh, quite sure. Then get your hand off my chest. He pulls his hand away. You have to go now, Gina. Why? Please go. Alright. But if you change your mind, and youre feeling lonely, you can find me at 184 Woebegone Drive. Its an apartment building. Alright. You can leave now. Donnie watches Gina leaves and sees her being approached by a copbut he doesnt care to see what will happen. Donnie is at 184 Woebegone Drive. Hes in the grey stone apartment building, in the airlock. He looks at the intercom, the big board with names, and finds Ginas full name: Gina Ginnings. Donnie presses the button beside to buzz her. A voice answers through the speaker. Hello? says the female voice. Hi, Gina, says Donnie. Its me Donnie. Ive decided to, uh, take you up on your offer. Great Whatre you talking about? Gina Ginnings, right? Up for a frisky time? Oh, for heavensake. Wrong Gina. You want the slag at the bottom. Donnie sees another Gina: Gina Jenner. Shit, says Donnie. Thats right. Her last name is Jennernot Ginnings. He presses the button and buzzes Gina Jenner. Gina answers, Hello? Hi, says Donnie, its me. Donnie. Right. Come in. Let me open the door for you. Im on floor six. Room 609. A bzzzt sound is heard, and then there is a clicking noise. Donnie reaches for the door in front of him, which takes him inside the apartment buildings lobby. He heads for elevator. He gets in and stands by a boy with a yellow baseball cap and green shirt. Hes about to push button six but his hand is slapped away by the boy, whos named Pete. You dont push the button, says Billy. I push the button. Donnies confused by this child who is clearly handicapped. Are you the elevator operator? he says. You dont push the button! I push the button! Okay, okay, whatever you want. Floor six please. Pete pushes every single button. Donnie, after having his patience tested, gets out at floor six. He goes about west and finds room 609. He knocks. Gina answers through the crack of the door. Shes wearing nothing except a bathrobe. Ooh, so glad to see you, she says. Why dont you come in? She undoes the security chain. She leads Donnie into the living room, which is only a few steps away. Have a seat, she says. Donnie sits down on the available sofa. Gina sits on the coffee table so that she can face him. She crosses her legs and leans back, keeping herself upright with her arms behind her. So, she says, you finally wised up. I thought about what you said. Youre right. If shes doing things, I should be doing things too. Exactly. Dont be a push over. Well, so, shall webegin? Okay. Did you bring protection? Oh, uh You dont have any condoms? You came over here with the intent to fool around, and you dont have a rubber? The thing is Kate takes birth control pills. So, Im not really used to the idea of being covered. The pill, huh? Thats bad for your body.

And what type of person has so much sex that they need to prevent pregnancy every day? What a tramp. She is not a tramp. The pill has more than one use, you know. Stills not as good as the condom. Condoms prevent disease. Alright, Dr. Ruth. Should I go to the drug store and get condoms? I dont have the time to wait. Donnie stands up, I guess Ill go then. Sit, says Gina. Donnie sits. Theres more than one form of sex, says Gina. For example: Using the backdoor. Donnie makes a face, Oh God. Im not going to do that. Hang on, we have other things on the menu too. I can use my mouth. I can use my hands. My thighs. I even have a smotherbox. I dunno Youre having second thoughts now, are you? I think Im on third thoughts right now. Okay. Forget it. You obviously dont want to do this. Gina stands and pulls up Donnie, then she starts pushing him toward the door. Donnie resists. Wait, wait, he says, we dont have to have sex. But we can do something, cant we? Like what? says Gina. Kiss? Can we kiss? Kiss? Thats not gonna make her very mad. Youre doing this to annoy Kate? Isnt that obvious? Oh. I actually thought you were attracted to me. Why cant it be both? Alright, then lets go back to the living room and kiss. Why waste time? Gina pushes Donnie into the wall and grabs his head. She presses her lips against his; and they kiss with heavy breathing. Oh, God, Donnie thinks. Gina rips open his shirt, and then thrusts out her pelvis, and rubs and grinds against his body. Theres a lot of grunting, and soppy noises, especially when Gina sticks her long tongue down her Donnies throat. Things get heated she tries to take off Donnies pants. Donnie pulls away and catches his breath. Whats the matter? says Gina. Im, Im thoroughly satisfied, says Donnie. I dont need to do this anymore. Ive had my fill. Hmm. Gina adjusts Donnies shirt and buttons his pants. Well, she says, was I good? Donnie is flustered. The guilt on his face is obvious. I have to go, he says. Okay, says Gina. Ill see you later. Donnie lets himself out. He walks through the hallway with his head low and gets into the elevator area. He presses the down button, several times, anxiously. Come on. The elevator arrives. He gets in and presses G for ground. He takes this alone time to think to himself. Oh, God, he thinks. Im a cheater. He rebuts himself. No, no, were on a break. Its okay. But you shouldnt have done that. Hey, at least I didnt have sex. And its no worse than what Kate does in her job, is it? Whats the difference? Would it be different if I recorded with a camera, packaged it, and sold it? Youre right, Donnie. Its not that bad. Still I dont want anyone to find out. Then calm down and shut up. No ones going to find out. How would that happen? True, true. Ill just keep this to myself. Nobody has to know. Donnie gets off the elevator and gets to the first floor. As soon as he walks out the door he is swarmed by men with cameras. Paparazzi of course. Donnie is surprisedhe doesnt consider himself a celebritybut then gets over it rather quickly when his temper flares. Get out of the goddamn way, he yells. He pushes through the paparazzi and looks for his car. He cant find it; the lights flashing in his eye have him disoriented. He eventually finds his car. He wants to get to the door, but theres someone in his way. Donnie grabs him and throws him aside while yelling, Move your fucking ass! The pap falls to the ground, and gets up like hes been punched in the gut or kicked in the head; although he has the energy to speak up. Did you see that?! Did everyone see that?! He assaulted me! Thats assault! Donnie quickly gets into his car. The man continues yelling, Im gonna sue you for all youre worth! You just assaulted me! Donnie honks

his horn several times and maneuvers through the people. When he gets far enough, able to see them in the mirror, he goes whew. He takes a turn ASAP for good measure. Two and a half days later. Donnie is groaning on the floor as John pokes him. Wake up, says John. Theres someone here to see you. Is it Kate? says Donnie. No. Then tell them to piss off. Come on, get up. Get up. Get up. Get up. Get up. Get up. Alright, just gimme a second. Donnie rolls onto his back, and then groggily gets up. He goes into the kitchen, briefly, and drops a white pill into a glass, which makes the water fizzy and cloudy. He drinks the drink, and then makes his way to the front entrance. There is a man in a suit with the fellow, photographer, that Donnie earlier pushed to the ground. Hello, says the man in the suit. Im Sheldon P. Johnson. He shakes hands with Donnies, then points to the man beside him named Fred Feist. And this is my client, Alfred Feist. And whats your business? says Donnie. Well, sir, says Sheldon. We are here to settle an issueof money. What money? Well, sir, your assaulted client the other day. He was being a dick. Regardless, he is deserving of monetary compensation. Now, before you speak, we can do this two ways. The hard way or the easy way. The hard way involved a long court process, and an easy way is writing a cheque signing a piece of paper. Which will it be? Do you know who I am? Yes. Im not paying you anything! You two can go to hell! Donnie shoves Fred, once again, and slams the door shut. The doorbell rings right after. Donnie opens it, I thought I told you to f Officer Blair is standing between Fred Feist and Sheldon Johnson. Hello, Donnie, says Blair. Whatve you been up to? Oh, says Donnie, you brought officer asshole. I wouldnt advise you to call him names, says Sheldon. Youre within your rights, but its always a bad idea to poke the law. Especially someone that watches your street. And hes doing a very good job. Fred grins. Shall we have a chat now? says Sheldon. Fine, says Donnie. Well have a chat. But Im not making any guarantees. Thank you for your assistance, says Sheldon to Officer Blair. He puts something into his palm with a handshake. Officer Blair leaves. Donnie lets in Fred and his lawyer. They go into the main foyer. Swanky place you got here, says Fred. Dont touch anything, please, says Donnie. Relax, says Sheldon. My client is a very good person. He just wants compensation. Sure, says Donnie. Donnie, Sheldon, and Fred, after walking a bit, get to the back hallway. They walk down. There are pictures of Kate hanging all over the wall. Hmm, says Fred very noticeably. Whats with the hmm? says Donnie. Nothing. I was just noticing that you have a lot of pictures of your girlfriend. Why not? I thought you two were going through a bit of trouble. One, thats none of your business. And two, if you must know, every relationship has its ups and downs. So that doesnt mean you throw away everything, because youre having a bit of a down time. Actually some people keep hanging on, even when everything is down. Down and gone. Whatre you going on about? Well Come on, out with it. Eh, Kate has lots of pictures of her ex-boyfriends. Mementos. Souvenirs, if you will. That must really bother the hell outta you, huh? I asked her to get rid of them and she said no. Thats a pain. When you love someone you have to

accept everything, I guess. Yeah, but thats disrespectful. Shes with you. Whys she need souvenirs of other people. Maybe she has a memory problem. Fred, says Sheldon, you shouldnt be getting friendly with the person youre trying to get money from. Commiseration is counterproductive. Dont talk to your adversaries. Is that what they taught you in law school? says Fred. Hes hardly an adversary. He seems like an alright guy. I mean he pushed downtwice, but I understand what hes going through. I too am having some troubles. You know, Gertie? Yes. Gertie. Your one and only. You mentioned her a couple times before we came here. She has a kid. But she only told after two years. My question is: How do you hide a big bloody kid for two years? Very carefully, says Sheldon. Alright, were here, says Donnie. He unlocks a door with a numbered keypad Code 3456 (not at all clever)and the three go into a library. Its a space with two stories, huge sunny windows, a spiraling staircase, and marble and mahogany where tasteful. There is a big square desk in the middle of this and some chairs. Donnie sits on one side and Fred and Sheldon sit on the other. You like to read, huh? says Fred. Yes, I do, says Donnie. But I dont come in here much. Its mostly for meeting and showing off. I look pretty intellectual with all these books, huh? I havent even read one percent of em. Alright, says Sheldon, Im on the clock here, so lets hurry this up, otherwise my client will be outraged at the bill. Right, says Donnie. Lets get to this. How much do you want? Sheldon clears his throat, One million dollars. Donnie is silenced for a moment. Okay, he says, gimme a second while I find this money in my pocket. He reaches into his shirt and then takes out his hand with his middle finger sticking straight up. See, I told you it was too high, says Sheldon. You wont know if you dont try, says Fred. Plus who doesnt wanna become a millionaire, hmm? Okay, says Donnie. Enough with the shenanigans. What is your offer? Sheldon reaches into his pocket and takes out an envelope, which he gives to Donnie. Donnie opens it with a letter open that looks like a sword, and then unfolds the piece of paper inside. He raises one eyebrow exactly. Too high? says Sheldon. No, says Donnie. I accept. Just let me get my check book. Do you two mind waiting? Not at all, says Fred. No rush. Donnie goes to the doors and locks them. Then, while everyones wondering whats going on, he goes to a nearby bookcase and takes out a really thick book. Wealth of Nations or something like that. He opens it up, and in the middle of the hollowed pages is a gun. He takes it out and points it and Fred and Sheldon. What, what, whatre you doing? says Sheldon. I wont be pushed around, says Donnie. Not anymore! He shoots Fred in the head, and then Sheldon. Blood splatters everywhere. He smiles an evil smile and then laughs, Ah-ha-ha-ha! No one will ever find out! Mr. Underwood, says Sheldon. You okay? Donnie shakes his head to cease his daydreaming. Yeah, says Donnie. I was just thinking. Thinking about what? Oh, I just have to call me lawyeruh, Alan. Alan Stein? You know him? I want to law school with him. Hes a really upstanding guy. Thats why I hired him. But that kinda makes him a crappy lawyer. Oh Anyway, why are you going to call him? To ask about the numbers? Ask if you could win in court against us? Maybe. Lemme tell you something, that Alan is a pushover. Taking us to court is probably not a good idea. Im not

trying to be intimidating, Im being very honestfor once. Just let me talk to him. Alright, but hes a real pussycat. Donnie goes over to the wall phone, thats made of wood, and has a little drawer beneath. He opens it to take out a small rectangular object: a magnetic phone index. It has two magnetic pieces at either end, and a very, very long piece of paper thats folded like an accordion in between, and lines for filling in names and numbers. Donnie looks under S for Stein. He finds the number hes looking for. He grumbles, a bit annoyed that there are a lot of high numbers like 9 and 8. Hes on a phone with a rotary dial. Nevertheless he makes the call, which takes about a minute after Donnie puts in one wrong number. Alvin picks up, Hello? Alvin Stein here. Hi, its me, Donnie, says Donnie in a low voice. Why are you talk so low? What can I do for you? Im having a bit of trouble here. Im doing an out of court settlement with someone for, uh Yes? Assault, I guess. I pushed down paparazzo. Oh. Yeah Why didnt you tell me earlier? Im having dinner with the family right nowAah, welp, maybe I can be over in a few. No, no, have dinner with your family. I just need some consultation. Alright. How much should I be giving this guy? He and his lawyer buddy want several figures. How many? Six. Six for pushing a paparazzo? You cant let him extort you like that. We should fight this in court. Whats the name of this lawyer fiend? Sheldon Johnson. Him! Oh no. Hes a shark, a true shark! Problem? This guy would cut your finger off to make an extra buck. We cannot go to court with him. Youll wind up losing twice! So, now youre backing out of your suggestion? Trust me. Stay out of court. Negotiate a better price. Is it high six figures? Mid-range. Alright, get im lower. Much lower. Low, low, six figuresor even high five figures. Sounds like it might not take, but I know Sheldon. Sure bets are his MO. If you give him an immediate guaranteed offer at lower price hell probably take it. Those are all your tips? Yeah. Alright. Call you if I need more help. Bye. Bye. Donnie hangs up the phone and returns to Fred and Sheldon with a piece of paper. He gives it to Sheldon. Thats my offer, he says. No more than that. If you dont accept, then well either stay here longer, negotiating, or wind up in court. I can do court, says Sheldon. But heres the thing, says Donnie. Ive fired Alvin. You what? Thats right. Hes no longer my lawyer. Im going to get a new one. Someone thats not a push over. But I thought you had a good relationship with himhes very personable. People seem to keep him despite his goody-good attitude. Ha! You think Im gonna keep a lawyer around just cause hes got a chipper attitude? You must be kidding. Im a businessman. Im more cutthroat than you. This is a bit unexpected. I guess I misjudged you. I thought deep down you were a nice guy. So whats it gonna be? Take it or leave it, or well fight in court. And you might win, you might not win. Sheldon whisper to Fred. Youre taking half? says Fred. Aw, fine. Its agreed, says Sheldon. Well take your offer as is. Ill write up the contract and fax it to you tomorrow morning. You do have a fax machine right? Of course, says Donnie. Im not a miser. Alright, its settled for this price. Sheldon and Fred get up, and so does Donnie. They shake hands. Nice doing business with you, says Sheldon. Oh, wait a minute, says Fred. I have something for you. Its from your girlfriend. She gave it to me outside. He goes into his back pocket and gives Donnie a sealed envelope. A day has passed. Donnie awakes and notices the envelope from Kate he received yesterday. He picks it up and holds it in his hands. He looks at her beautiful handwriting

that says To Donnie. He wants to open it, but hes afraid theres bad news. His hands tremble ever so slightly. He thinks that it might be the final nail in the coffin that will say, Im leaving you forever. But he musters the will and then tears open the envelope. He takes out a letter that says: Dear Donnie, I know that were going through a rough patch right now, but I dont want you to think that I have any animosity toward you. At the moment this is what we both need. Anyway, Im leaving tomorrow, and Ill be back in two months or so. (I promise this time.) Im doing that movie with the famous Jim Krowe. Hopefully this will make me world wide famous. -Kate. Donnie looks at the date marked in the upper right hand corner. Tomorrow is now today. He rushes out the door, and runs across to get in front of the guest house. He sees Kate wheeling a piece of luggage, and a black car awaiting her. Kate, says Donnie. Kate stops and adjusts her sunglasses. Donnie, she says in a reciprocal manner. Whatre you doing here? To say goodbye. Oh, alright. Go on. Goodbye. Goodbye. Kate starts walking again. Wait, says Donnie. Can I have a kiss? No, says Kate. That would be against the rules. Were still on a break remember? I know. Okay, fine. Why not? Kate blows Donnie a kiss. Thats it? he says. Thats it, says Kate. Stay safe! says Donnie. Have a safe trip! When Kate gets to the car a strapping man gets out. He puts his strong hand around her waist and gives her a nice kiss on the lips. Oh, honey, let me get that for you, he says. He takes her suitcase and places it in the trunk, then he goes back to Kate and opens the door for her to let her in. She gets in and then the strapping man returns behind the wheel. Donnie watches the two disappear down the road. He wants to scream and yell at her for kissing another, but he did the same. Worse actually. Only an hour later. Donnie is at the front of his guest house. He takes out a set of keys and goes to open the door. He takes a few steps, but takes no more when he spots John, who greets him. John, says Donnie, whatre you doing here? I could ask the same thing, says John. Hey, this is my house. It isnt for the time Kate is here. Shes not here. You know what I mean. Are you going to stop me? I cant really stop you, but I ask you not to proceed. Why do you even care? I know that youre my employer, but I also consider you as more than employer. Am I your friend? Not quite, but very close. Youre more like a cousin. Cousin, huh? Yeah, and I think that you ought to leave. You shouldnt be in here, looking for evidence of wrong doings. Its not right and its not healthy. Im just going to Stop. Dont say anymore. I dont want to hear it. Im sick of the drama. I dont deserve thisand neither do you. Heres what youre going to do! Youre going to get over this Kate fellow, and youre going to find another woman who adores and cares for you, and then youre going to live happily ever after! Oh, shut up. Telling me to shut up, how very mature! I apologize. Listen to me, Donnie. What youre going through is ridiculous. Stop punishing yourself. Take my advice for once, and go outside, and meet new people Actually, you dont even have to meet new people. Meet old people. You havent seen your friends in ages. Whens the last time you went out and socialized? Hmm? Im a busy man, if you must know. Im busy too. But I managed to go out and have a drink with my friend. Who? When did this happen? Never mind what Im doing. Whatre you doing?

After saying goodbye to the pilot, Donnie pulls his suitcase out from a private jet. Its been a long flight. He puts his sunglasses above his brows, and looks at the sunny west coast. This is near where Kate is staying. Well, here I am, he says. He scans the horizon. A fast car brakes in front of him. The driver whistles, Eyo! You Donnie Underwood? Donnie puts his suitcase in the back, and then sits up at the front. Sitting at the front, eh? says the driver named Joey. It helps me blend in, says Donnie. Joey shakes Donnies hand, Im Joey by the way. Im not from around here actually, if youre wondering why I have this heavenly accent. Oh, I wasnt wondering, says Donnie. Joey starts driving right away, and he gets off the airport tarmac in record speed. Shes on the road, speeding and weaving through traffic. Youre going a bit fast, dont you think? says Donnie while grasping onto whatever he can hold. Of course he has his seatbelt on firmly. What? says Joey after barely dodging a truck. I thought I was being cautious. Just dont kill us, okay? Sure thing. Oh, hey, just to double check, you are staying at 153 Limeway Drive? Correct? Yes, uh, correct, says Donnie, trying to fight his car sickness. Thats a real swanky place. I wouldnt know. Uuuh, Ive never been there before. All the rich snobs go therenot that youre one of em. Just an observation. It was recommended to me. Now that you described it, Im not so sure I wanna stay there. Aah, dont let that deter. Yuppies are a dozen times better than hood rats, unless youre trying to get something under the table. Know what I mean? Im not sure. Oh, dont worry about it. So, you look pretty loaded. Am I gonna get a good tip? Thats awfully forward of you. Lifes short, you gotta be forward. Seize the day and all that. Lets conversation to a minimum. I bet you dont have a lot friends. What makes you say that? Im trying to strike up a conversation and youre shushing me. I have some friends, if you must know. But I bet you dont see em very much. Success requires sacrifice. What a canned answer that is. Lemme tell you. If I had to choose between being a rich loner or a poor guy with alotta friends I sure as hell would pick being the rich loner. But Id really wonder what itd be like to be popular. Why is that? Why arent rich people more popular? Jealousy. For reals? You gonna pull that answer? Is it not true? Its one of the reasons, I think, but it dont quite explain everything. Why dont you tell me? Why are rich people unpopular? Lack of empathy, I think. They have the ability to help, and they just dont care to lend a hand. I run a charity. Is that so, huh? I stand corrected. Whats your charity? Helping homeless people. Providing temporary shelter, food, financial assistance. Thats real swell of you, so I take it Im gonna get a big tip. Life isnt always about money, you know. It is when you dont have any. Joey and Donnie are on Limeway Drive. Joey speeds ahead and skids onto house 153s driveway. The car comes to a sudden stop. Were here! says Joey. Now hows about that tip? Gimme a second, says Donnie. He opens the door and throws up outside. Jayzus Christ! You alright?! Im fine. Do you need help? No, no, just go. Donnie reaches into his wallet and gives Joey a tip. He takes his suitcase and then groggily goes to the entrance of his house, which he will stay in temporarily. 12 hours of sleep later and Donnie is feeling as fresh as a daisy. He awakes and rubs his eyes. He brushes his teeth, takes a shower, and changes. He goes outside and enters his garage, where there is a car for him. He goes in and reverses off the driveway. As hes

about to take off someone appears out of the blue and knocks on his window. He rolls it down a crack. Monsieur, says Bobby Bobo. (Nickname.) Hi, hey, ho. Dont mean to bother you, but can I bother you for some change? Im a bit homeless. Can you see that? Im sorry, says Donnie, who is in a rush to leave. I dont have any change at the moment. He starts driving again and he hears Bobby Bobo waving and saying, Thanks anyway! Most people wont even stop to talk to me! Take care now! Donnie sighs, and then he reverses, and stops by Bobby Bobo. He winds down the window, and hands him a large bill/note. Wowow, says Bobby. This is the most money I ever got. Is that so? says Donnie, feeling a bit smug now. Yeeeah, for sure. I cant thank you enough. Thank you! Bobby kisses Donnie on the cheek. Er, youre welcome, says Donnie. I owe you, I really do. Thanks is good enough. Aaah, dont be shy. I have something for you. Its my most prized possession. Keep it, please. I insist! You take it or Ill be steaming mad. Alright, what is it? Bobo shows Donnie a magazine with Kate on the cover. Look at this beaut, right here, he says. He opens it to the middle. Theres a big picture of Kate, quite bare, being covered with a male models hands. Its very erotic. Donnie winces at the (to him) disturbing image. Bobo continues his raving, This beaut has kept me company on them cold nights. Im ever so grateful to her. Without her where would I be? I swear Id ave lost the will to live, I would. Mm, mm, what an angel. Appearances can be deceiving, says Donnie. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, says Bobo. I know her. Shes as sweet as strawberry pie. Alright. Why dont you keep the magazine? I got places to go. You take it! I want you to experience what Ive experienced. No, thank you. I dont likethose sorts of things. Pleeease. Gimmeh some dignity. Let me not be a leech of society, for once in my life. Okay. Fine. Ill take it. Bobo hands Donnie the magazine. He folds it and puts it into the glove compartment of his rented car. Awright now, says Bobo, you have a good one! You too, says Donnie insincerely, and then he drives off, and tosses the magazine out the window. Donnie arrives outside White Mountain Movie Studios. He drives his car up to the gate, where there is a security guard in the booth. Hello, says Donnie. Hello, says the security guard. Welcome to White Mountain Movie Studios. May I see some identification, sir? Sure. Donnie shows his drivers license. The security guard gets out clipboard and looks at a list of names. Sorry, he says. You dont seem to be on this list. Who are you here to see? Kate Witman. Is that so? Yes I am, in fact, her boyfriend. Is that so? Why do you keep asking that? A lot of people trying getting here to see celebrities by saying they have such and such relationship with whomever. So yeah, this isnt a new trick. Its not a trick. I really am her boyfriend. Is that so? Yes. I swear. Its true. Yeah, nice try, buddy. Kate Witman doesnt have a boyfriend. Who says? She says. Is that so? Yep. I read it in the entertainment section of the newspaper. She is single and loving it. Youre lying. Do I look like a liar? Wheres the article then? You have 50 cents? Donnie goes into his pocket and retrieves 50 cent for the security guard named, I dunno, uh, Derk. Thanks, says Derk. He hands Donnie a newspaper. Donnie looks in the entertainment section and indeed there is an interview with Kate saying she is Single and loving it amongst other things meant to titillate. Titillating things like how she enjoys doing romantic scenes, and how erections on set arent so uncommon.

Donnie is breathing very heavy. Boy, says Derk, you seem really peeved. Im not peeved, says Donnie, Im just He thinks. Im disappointed. In what? I told you, Kate Witman is my girlfriend. Alright, Ive had enough of this. Im going to have to ask you to leave. FineBut Ill be back. Right, Terminator. Just do it when Im not on my shift. The studio tour has begun. Donnie is sitting in the back of the tram, trying to keep incognito amidst the tourists. He doesnt talk to anyone and keeps his eyes scanning the area. He ignores the extra chipper guide that continually tells people to look to their left and to their right. He doesnt care about the tour. But everyone else seems to be enjoying it. The tram is moving along at a steady pace; there are plenty of interesting things to see in the backlot. And here, says tour guide Cindy, pointing to a faade that is supposed to be an old timey building, we have the place where they filmed the famous movie Back to the Past. She points to a silver car. And thats the vehicle they used to travel in time. Not literally of course. If it was real Id go back to my youthful days and get a college education. Only kidding, of course! Im quite satisfied with my job. Please dont tell my superiors. A little kid in a cap and bright green shirt claps his hands. Oh boy, oh boy, says Steven. He looks at Donnie, whos staring at nothing. Isnt this the most exciting thing youve ever seen? Hmm? says Donnie. Are you talking to me? This stuff is pretty neat, huh? Its okay, I guess. Im gonna be a movie director when I grow up! Where are your parents? Guess who my favorite director is? Uh, Leni Riefenstahl? Whos that? Never mind. As the tram takes a turn Donnie decides to leave. He jumps off by a rickety looking bridge. Steven points and screams, HEY! HES GETTING AWAY! The tram stops. The tour guide lady uses the PA system to address him, Come back, sir! Youre not allowed there! Security! Donnie glances over his shoulder and sees three security guards pursuing. He runs, and crosses the bridge, and loses himself in a jungle-like area. He can see the figures of the security guards in the distance, and he can hear their feet crunching the ground. One whispers, Keep quiet. Hes here somewhere. I can smell him. He smells like a tourist. Donnie gets down on his hands and knees and crawls through rotting leaves, and rocks, and dirt. As he looks back, checking on his chasers, he bumps his head into something large. A dinosaur. A real live dinosaur! Well, those were Donnies thoughts until he realized he was looking at an animatronic monster. He pats the raptor on its head, very relieved. He goes around it and comes out at the end of the artificial jungle. He finds himself in a futuristic citybut not the good kind, the kind in which humanity has selfdestructed. Donnie runs ahead before the three security guards can catch up to him. He slips into an opaque phone booth, which inside is just plywood. He keeps the doors shut and gets down. He can hear the voices. Whered he go? one says and, Maybe hes in the phone booth! Donnie gulps, and crosses his fingers. Thats not a real phone booth, dummy, says one security guard. You dont have to call me names! the other replies. Youre always saying dumb things, thus you are a dummy. Im going to complain, I swear. Youre get canned. That wont be happening. Im in a union. Fine! I wont check the

phone boothahem, the fake phone booth! Good! Only a 5 year old would think to hide in there. Donnie suddenly sneezes. Shit, he says. He jumps out the phone booth and starts running. See, says the security guard with the fro. I told you he was in there! You didnt believe me! The security guards tackle down Donnie. He isnt fast enough. Donnie wriggles around, Come on, guys. I just wanna see my girlfriend! Whos your girlfriend? says security guard Gary. You wont believe me if I tell you, says Donnie. Try me. Kate Witman. Everyone laughs. Stop, stop, stop, my sides are about to burst. I swear its true! Why doesnt anyone believe me? Whats your name? Donnie Underwood. Eeeh, that name does sound a bit familiar. Does it? I remember. She dumped you, didnt she? What! No. Were still together. But were on a break. Hoooo! You know what a break is right? Yeah! I know! Im here to win her back. Should we help him out, fellas? The security guards pick up Donnie and take him to his feet. Aaah, why not? says Larry. Gary and Larry look to Barry. Fine! he says. Lets just make it quick. He eyes Donnie. And dont you try to run off, hm? We will escort you to the proper place. Right, right, says Donnie. I would never dare to do such a thing. But could you just ease up on twisting my arm a bit? The three security guards relax, and then they and Donnie go walking around. After passing by a town of the old west, an alien landscape, and , they come up on the set where Kate should be. They are filming: Hearts of the Ocean. Donnie and the security guards see two figures in the distance; they are on the end of a boat, standing against the railing, holding each other tenderly. There is a man with a gray bear and baseball cap screaming directions to them. No! No! NO! NO! says Jim Krowe, the director of this movie. Dont do it like that! Youre doing it wrong! Have some goddamn sincerity! DO you know who this is? Do you? Its the love of your bloody life! Youve never seen anything like her before. Hold her like she means something! For the love of God! Is this getting through to you two?! Kate and actor Chris Cooke Jr. keep their eyes ahead. They look agitated, nervous, not able to make eye contact with Jim Krowe. Goddamnit! says Jim. Look at me when Im talking to you. Chris frowns, and looks at Jim, Do you have to constantly yell at us? Whats that? says Jim. Come down here. Get down. Chris goes down to Jim. Do you know who I am? says Jim. Uh, yes, says Chris. Then why are you telling me how to do my job?! Hm? You think you can direct this? No. Then keep your yapper shut. Youre cattle! You shouldnt be questioning me like this. Im trying to get a performance out of you. All you have to do is memorize lines and look good, and listen to what the hell I say. Is that too hard for you? Is it too hard for your pretty face? Is it? Because if it is maybe I can find another lead. Im sure there are a dozen people equally talented whod want this role. I just think that you can be a little nicer. Why are you so mean to us? I treat the crew well. But the actors Why are you always Why am I what? Why are you always giving us such a hard time! Because I dont like you, I dont like you -- goddamn actors. Kate glances, but then puts her head back into position, afraid of being called out. You dont like actors? says Chris. Why? You know what actors are? says Jim. Theyre glory hogs. You have everybody supporting your ass to make you look good, and you get all the attention, and all the credit, and all the money, while everyone lives on government cheese. You think thats fair? So not only do you get the money, but you get to

be exceedingly attractive, and you have swarms of people diving at your feet And you know what? You dont care about any of them. Every woman you bag is just another score on your chart. So why should I like you? I wont be treated like this, says Chris. Whats that? I didnt hear? says Jim. Louder please. I wont be treated like this! Im not an animal! Im a human being! Is that so? Okay. Youve made a good point. From here on out Ill be more considerate toward your feelings. I apologize. Thank you. But I cant give you proper treatment while youre my leading man. You know how I feel about actors. Huh? YOURE FIRED! GET OFF MY SET! YOU LINE REPEATING, NARCISSISTIC APE! Are you, are you serious? PACK YOUR SHIT AND GO HOME! Fine! Who even wants to work for a jerk like you!? Chris Cooke Jr. leaves. Jim Krowe whistles at Kate, Take a break. Kate gets off the boat (which is actually a half boat) and disappears to go to her trailer. Jim Krowe yells at everyone, Everyone, go for lunch! Were having a break! All the crew disperses. As Donnie walks ahead, to find Kate, Jim Krowe turns around and bumps into him. Sorry, says Donnie. Jim backs up and puts his hands on Donnies chest to stop him. Wait a minute, says Jim, I dont recognize you. Who are you? Im here to, uh Trying to sneak onto the set huh? You thought I wouldnt notice? Jim Krowe calls over the security guards with a wave of his hand. Take this trespasser out of here. I dont care who he. I dont wanna hear it. Just get him out of my hair. The security guards take Donnie by the arms. But, says Donnie in a low voice, I have to see Kate. Sorry, man, says Gary, we gotta kick you outta here. Otherwise were out of jobs. But We tried, man. Donnie is taken away. Its twelve in the morning and Donnie is still waiting outside the studio gates. Hes sitting down, with his head dropped between his bent knees. Someones hand lands on his shoulder. Its the security guard, Derk, from earlier. Hes with his Gary, Larry, and Barry. Theyre all friends. Hey, man, says Derk. Maybe you should just go homeor go back to your hotel or wherever. I dont think your girlfriends night is ending any time soon. No, I have to see her, says Donnie. I mean how much long will I have to wait? Dont tell anyone this, but that Jim Krowe is a real hard ass. She might be going till six in the morning. I can wait. Aw, man. Dont wait around for her. Lets go to a bar, huh? All four of us? Yeah. Do I have to buy all the drinks? No, but that would be nice. We are just lowly security guards after all, and you are stupendously rich, and handsome. Donnie gets up. Right, lets go. Donnie is with Derk, Gary, Larry, and Barry. They are in a bar, a pub to be exact, and sitting at the counter where drinks are served. Its a swanky place. Theyre all on wood stools, eyeing the ladies just like guys always do when theyre inebriated. (There are surprisingly a fair amount, despite the time.) 9 OClock, says Gary. Derk, Larry, and Barry look to their left while Donnie looks lost. He looks at his watch. Its nowhere near nine, he says. Were not talking about the time, says Larry. Donnie is blank. Will someone explain? says Larry. 9 0clock, says Gary, is compass directions. It means left. Barry puts out his arm and pretends its an hour hand. He points straight. 12 OClock. He points to his right. 3. He points behind. 6. He points left. 9.

We use it to point out the ladies, says Gary. It makes our lustful staring less obvious. Have you never been taught this before? No, says Donnie, but I think I get it Okay. Lemme see whats at 9 oclock. He looks around to his left and sees a rotund woman, in a cocktail dress, at about 200 pounds. Shes quite hairy too. Uhhh, he says, shes not quite as attractive as my girlfriend, but I see the appeal. First, says Gary, youre looking at the wrong woman. Second, forget about your girlfriend. You been going on about here since we got here. Shes not that great. Oh, I disagree, says Larry. She is really attractive. Id nail her, says Derk. Two times! Guys, says Donnie, thats my girlfriend youre talking about. Yeah, guys, says Barry. Knock it off Shes not attractive. Shes really pale and looks like a stick. Gimme a woman with some oomph. Im talking hips. Actually, says Donnie, I prefer the perverted compliments now. Ooh, check that out, says Larry. 3 Oclock. Donnie follows everyones eyes. Its Kate. Hey, aint that your squeeze, says Gary. Donnie gets up from his stool. Wait a minute, says Derk. Howre we gonna pay for all these drinks? He waves his hand, showing all the booze in front. I dont think I make enough money to afford drinks with umbrellas in em. Donnie slaps his black credit card on the counter, Put it on my card. What about tip? says Barry. How much? Uuuh, whatever you want, says Donnie. 50% it is, says Barry. Derk grabs Donnie by the shirt, Wait a minute. What? says Donnie. You dont wanna just go up to her like that. Hmm? Youre trying to win her back, right? You gotta think about what youre going to say. I was thinking of shooting from the hip. Im wild like that. Nooo. Im a writer. Aspiring writer actually. Lemme help you with some lines. Ill tell you what to say. Alright. What should I say? Derk presses his forehead while thinking. Damn. Ive got writers block. Never mind him, says Barry. Say whats on your mind. Speak from the heart. I spoke from the heart once, says Gary, and I told her she had lovely shoulders. Howd that go? says Larry. She told me that I had a lovely brain. Sarcasm, of course. Women, eh? Cant live with them. Cant live with them. I think you got that phrase wrong. I dont think so. Im going, guys, says Donnie. He steps ahead, and walks around a group of giggling girls, who are obviously well drunk. As he is about to get to Kate he catches her eye. Kate squints in disbelief, and then turns around to face away, and she rushes outside. Quick, yells Larry in his drunken stupor, go after her! Shes playing hard to get! Donnie dashes out the pub and follows Kate. She seems in quite a hurry. He can only see her back. Wait, he says to Kate, I have to talk to you! But Kate ignores it and moves even faster. Donnie sprints to catch up with her. He grabs her by the arm and she turns around. Its not Kate, its someone that looks a lot like Kate. Youre not Kate, says Donnie. Kate Witman? says Jill. No. Im just her stunt double. Im sorry. I didnt know. Its alright. It happens a lot. Kinda depressing actually. Whaddaya mean? Well, dont let this get back to her, but I kinda think she dont deserve her success. Oh yeah? I mean Im just as good looking as her. I can act on the same level, if not more, I can do stunts, and I am not at all demanding. Im a very pleasant person to be around. So why am I working for 3% of what she makes? It really makes me wonder why some celebrities act like such ingrates. Um Donnie tries to respond, but Jill cuts him off. I know what it is, she says, trying to think deeply. Theyre

bitter because, in the past, nobody believed in them. They busted their asses, sacrificing, and giving their all, going against the grain, while listening to everyone around them saying how stupid and foolish they are. Then they succeed one day; they hit it real big; and then these same people turn around and says, I knew youd make it. Good job. And they try to kiss your ass to get up the ladder with you. Yes! Thats what it is! Thats why these celebrities seem ungrateful. Its insecurity. Now that theyre big stars they think, Would this guy or girl even gimme the time of the day if I wasnt rich or famous? And then they realize the answer is no, and that makes them angry. I mean why wouldnt it anger you? You work for years and years while being ridiculed and then suddenly you find yourself the center of attention, but you dont know whether these people like you for you or what youve achieved. Thatd eat me up inside for sure. Uh, I see youve given this a lot of thought. I drink a lot of wine. Wine is equivalent to weed for alcoholics. Whats your name again? Jill. Right, Jill. I know its a bit of a long shot, but could you tell me where Kate is? Why are you so interested in knowing where she is? Are you some sort of secret admirer? Im her boyfriend. Oh Jesus, youre not gonna tell what I said, are you? No, Im not a tattle-tale. Im really glad to hear that. So, you know where she is? Uh, you dont know where your own girlfriend is? Thats odd. Im trying to surprise her. Oh, okay. I might know where she is. But first I have a few questions for you. Alright. Whats it like? Whats what like? Whats it like being with a woman like that, hmm? She must be high maintenance. Do I have to answer? Have you not heard of fair trade? Uhhh Well? Our relationship isnt perfectbut I love her. I know what that means. Trouble in a paradise, huh? Cmon, gimme the dirt. Donnies feeling really uncomfortable as hes now more sober. Theres no dirt. Jill pokes Donnie in the shoulder in a friendly manner. Stop lying to me. Theres definitely dirt. If there wasnt then she wouldnt be trash talking you. She trash talks me? When? What did she say? Well, I overhead a conversation, and she called you a needy baby. Or maybe she was talking about an actual baby. Im not needy? Am I? I should be going now. Wait! What about Kate? Oh yeah. Uuuh, I think shes staying at Cowboy Boulevard. I never been there before. Whats the number? What am I? MapQuest? Jill walks off. Okay, says Donnie, thank you! He turns around and starts heading back to the bar. As hes about to go in he notices something in the corner of his eye. He turns around and sees a man lying on the ground, half on the curbside and half on the road. The man is the homeless fellow from before, Bobby Bobo, he has his tongue rolled out, and his eyes up, with a dirty hypodermic needle stuck in his arm. Donnie looks down. Are you alright? Bobby half looks up, barely, Eeey, I know you. You gayme teh money. Thanks, mister. Whatre you doing on the floor? Chasing away the blues, what else? Uh, okay. Donnie is about to turn away. EYYYY! Guess what? What? Im now a triple threat! Bobby starts singing suddenly, Honey, my darling, sweetie, my pie, cutie, my girl, dont make me twirl! Gimme a kiss! Gimme you eye! Gimme a huggy! Dont you say goodbye! Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh! Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuhnuh! A stranger from the sidewalk leans toward Donnie, who is staring in a confused manner, and whispers, Dont give him any money. Hes a drug addict. Right, I knew that, says Donnie, lying. Hes embarrassed at his naivety. After all, he founded a charity that helps homeless people. Are you new here? says the stranger, raising her voice above the singing of Bobo. How did you know? I can tell. You have that What the hells

going on here? look on your face. Heh. I guess youre not used to living in Sin City. Were not in Sin City. Close enough. Uh, right. Anyway, I think I should call the ambulance. Do you have a cellphone I could borrow? A cellphone? You mean a mobile phone? Uuuh, no. I wish. Never mind. Ill make a call inside. Youre wasting your time. Some people cant be helped! Donnie goes inside the bar. He doesnt make the phone call. Donnie is fully awake with many cups of coffee in his belly. Hes parked his car by a curbside and is walking around Cowboy Boulevard. Its very nice area, with trimmed hedges, trees that have all their leaves, and flowers around. Hes in a makeshift athletic getup, trying to make himself appear as a jogger or someone exercising. He passes by a few people, who completely ignore him as they are listening to music on their portable CD players. He goes about very slowly. Then he sees Kate coming out of a house. He hides behind a tree and sticks out part of his head. Kates nose is red, and the make up around her eyes is terribly smudged. Shes been crying. She gets down the steps of her place, carefully, and is about to go in the garage when someone with flowers appears. Donnie immediately jumps to conclusions, but he stays in his spot and observes silently. The man, a man in his early 40s, is quite round and greasy, and hes wearing a shirt that has Kates face on it. Kate, says Mitchell simply. He extends his hands to give his flowers to Kate. Its so nice to meet you. Finally. Kate doesnt take them. Please, she says, Im not in the mood right. She tries to walk to the garage but Mitchell stands in her way. But I came so far to see you. I searched everywhere for you. I spent all my life saving to get a ticket here. So what do you want? An autograph? A picture? Both? I want to take you out on a dateand treat you like a real woman. I know, I know! You date so many guys that are so much better looking than me, but I have a good personality. Whaddaya say? Honestly. Id rather not. But I love you! You dont even know who I am. I dream about you every night, and we talk, and chat, and share each others secrets Are you nuts? Im not nuts. Im nuts about you. Youll have to excuse me. Kate tries to walk around Mitchell. He again wont let her go. Please, Kate! I love you! I even forgave you for all the times you hurt me when you went out with all those men! I just want a chance. Youll see. Well be good together, like bread and butter. If you dont step out of my way, then I am going to call the cops. Mitchell reaches into his jacket and takes out a gun. We are going to be together. Alright, says Kate, c-c-calm down. Lets be rational, okay? I want to sit down and have dinner with you. Whatever you want. How about your place, hmm? Sure. I have lots of in-in-ingredients in my fridge. Onions? I think so. Potatoes? Maybe. Chilis? I, I, I dont know. Lets go and check. Donnie wants to jump forth and go to Kates rescue, but his knees are wobbling. Hes used a gun before, but has never faced one. He thinks for a second what to do, which seems like hours. He imagines every single scenario. He imagines himself getting shot, he imagines, Kate dying, he imagines them both dying, he imagines coming out the victor and vanquishing the villain with easy, and without easy. Then he lets out a manly yell and rushes forward. Mitchell aims his gun at Donnie and shoots One, two, three shots. But Donnie dives and tackles him to the ground. They roll around while Kate watches, horrified, only able to let out intermittent cries and screams. YARGUBLE! it sounds like. Donnie pins

Mitchell to the ground and releases his furry with several punches and elbows. Leave her alone! he says. You creepy son of a bitch! Kate pulls Donnie off of Mitchell. Stop, she says. Donnie and Kate stand together and stare at Mitchell, who has one arm pointed to the sky. Donnie and Kate are now in Kates place, in the living room, while Mitchell remains passed out on the couch. His hands are tied, but they are still watching him carefully. Kate hangs up the phone after talking to the police. They said theyll be over as soon as possible, says Kate. Good, says Donnie, the sooner the better. Kate and Donnie exchange looks. Donnie is in the arm chair, and Kate is on the loveseat. They stare at one another, not sure what to say. Then Kate breaks the silence. Im really glad you came, she says. I wouldnt know what to do without you. Thank you, Donnie replies. I really did miss you, says Kate. Did you? says Donnie. I kept dreaming about you. Does that even mean anything? Well, I did dream that you came to visit me here, and its happened. Isnt that odd? What else did you dream? I dreamt that we were married, and we had a family, and kids together. Two girls. No boys? Maybe number three? Heh. Maybe number four. Do you want something to drink? Smoke? Kate offers. I really should quit. Come on, you earned it. Alright, Ill take a cigarette. Im not really in the mood to drink. Kate goes into the drawer on the stand beside and takes out a cartoon of cigarettes. From it she takes out a pack, and two cigarettes. She gives one to Donnie and keeps one for herself. She lights each with the lighter in her pocket. Smoke fills the room. If we had coffee, says Donnie, this would be breakfast. Kate crosses her legs. Isnt it weird, she says, referring to Mitchell, how someone can fall in love with a complete stranger? Or at least become infatuated? I mean what does that guy even know about me? Hey, you want my opinion? Falling in love with a stranger is no weirder than wanting a bunch of strangers to fall in love with you. Thats what I think. Yes, but what I do is pragmatic. Theres a reason for it, which is to earn a living. Whats he in for? Donnie scratches his chin and responds. Maybe nobody loves him? So, what, he thinks that I can provide with the love he dont have? You do always say you love your fans. Thats acting. Well, some of them cant tell the difference. What can I say? I dont even understand why people are attracted to celebrities in the first placetheyre total strangers. I think when nobody loves you, or you dont feel loved, or youve been rejected a certain amount of times, you look to actresses and celebrities for affection, because in the back of your mind, you know that you know youll never meet them, and therefore they can never break your heart. You live a fantasy, where if only things were a bit different youd sweep em off their feet. Okay, Mr. Freudthen what explains the stalker? He actually went out of his way to meet me. Mm, I guess hes just fucked up in the head. Kate grins at Donnie, despite the grave situation. Suddenly Mitchell starts to stir. Donnie and Kate get up. Theyre about to do whatevers necessary to keep the stalker subdued, but then there is a knock at the door. Its the police. Finally. Today Donnie and Kate are on a date. They are in a retro diner that looks like its from the 60s or 50s. The two arent quite so sure. Theyre in a booth, drinking milkshakes. Chocolate for Kate and Strawberry for Donnie. Good milkshakes, says Kate. Can I try

yours? Donnie pushes his milkshake toward Kate. Okay, says Donnie, can I have some of yours? No, says Kate. All for me. She puts two straws in her mouth and drinks both milkshakes at the same time, though she can hardly take any liquid since she is giggling. Donnie leans forward and kisses Kate. They linger for what seems a minute. Then the open their eyes and each smile ever so slightly. Does this mean were back together? says Donnie. I dont know, says Kate. Should we get back together? Is it even a good idea? I think its a good idea. I dunno. Please dont make me beg. Donnie, being with you is great, but we have to face the truthwere just not compatible. Then lets be compatible. Were adults. We can make conscious decisions to change our behavior, right? Itll be harder than you think. Im sure its possible. Fine, lets say it is. What do you want different between us? Donnie puts his hands together. Should I even say? Leave out profanity and I think I can take it. Donnie struggles. Okay. Its kinda weird though. Hey, I work in Hollyweird. Anything you say wont really be that shocking. Okay. I want you to use your imagination. Alright. Now imagine your parents never split up. Uuuh Wait. Stick with me. Alright. Imagine your parents never split up. Imagine that theyre in love; imagine how they treat each other. That is how I want us to be. Kate closes her eyes for a minute and then opens them. I cant do it, she says. What? says Donnie. I can try, but I cant actually do it. I just cant give my everything to one person, one person that I dont know will be there in my future. Kate, I will always be there for you. Id never dream of leaving you. Thats what you say. But you dont know. Five, ten years down the road, youll get bored, realize what I am, and move on. Thats not true. I love you. Ill always love you. Im sorry, Donnie. What youve asked is too much. Donnie temperature is starting to rise. So, arent you a little hypocrite? You want something of other people, but you yourself cant do it. Im not a hypocrite, says Kate with a bit of a snap. I never told my parents what to do. I didnt tell someone to do something and not do it myself. You asked me to imagine. Its fake. Donnie sighs. Never mind. Its my turn now, says Kate. I never got a chance. Okay, go ahead. So, what I want from you? Us? I want you to accept me, and not hope that one day Ill change. If you really love me, then youll take the entire package. But the things you do hurt me. They hurt myfeelings. All the flirting you do, the time you spend away from me, your historyit all kills me inside. Ive only been with one woman, you. I feel so inadequate. Its like theres a battle going on in my mind. I have to compete with everyone from your past. And I know youre comparing me, seeing whos better, and whos not. Thats not true. I never compare you to anyone. Not even once? No. No one can compare to you. Thats very sweet of you, but I know its a lie. So, Im guessing we wont get back together then? Donnie stares into Kates eyes, which seem to be wavering ever so slightly. He puts his elbows forward and takes hands that are on the table. I cant do it, says Donnie. Its impossible. I cant be without you And youre right. I should accept everything that you are, that you do, if I really love you. Who cares about you making pretty eyes with another guy? When youre with me all that should matter is were together. Kate goes over to Donnies side of the booth, and sits on his lap, and gives him a kiss on the cheek. Youre the best, she says. And so Kate and Donnie return to their relationship as girlfriend and boyfriend.

The big white sign, that spells out the areas name, sits on a hill, towering above Kate and Donnie. This is Kate and Donnies first date, since ending their break. Theyve come here by car, no less, and are gazing at the stars while on a blanket. There are some empty bottles beside that have probably set the mood. The stars are so beautiful, arent they? says Kate. I wish I could reach out and grab one. Me too, says Donnie. Hey, what do you think is more romantic? The stars or the moon? Uh, I think Im a fan of the moon. Its bright, its big looking, and it provides tides, which is important for the oceanic ecosystem. Yes, yes, but which is more romantic? I dont know. Ive never considered them to be romantic. Why not? I just never been one for movie and novel clichs. I mean isnt that how people come to the conclusion that stars and moon are romantic? What else is it? Well, I think its romantic. Donnie stares at the big dipper. Do you mind if I ask you a question, Kate? Besides that one? Yeah. Sure, what is it? I dont wanna bring up sore memories, but I was wondering, why were you crying that time? What time? Before you encountered that creep-o? Remember? Outside your place? Oh, that. Do you really want to know? I want to know, yes. Its not easy to say. Donnie turns to Kate, but she maintains her gaze at the sky. Say it. I was rejected. By who? A guy. Oh Im sorry. Thats why I was crying. Normally I dont cry, but he was really special to me. He broke my heart. Yeah? He was my boyfriend in high schoolmy high school sweetheart, and he left me to go across the country, because his dad got a new job. I never forgot about him. Whats his name? Stan. Stanley Stewart. The really famous actor? Yep. Thats him. Oh, wow. Hes the reason I got into acting. I thought being a successful would be bring me closer to him, and it did, but now he doesnt care about me. He has all the women he can get. Im nothing to him. Dont say that. Youre not nothing. Well, he makes feel like nothing. Sometimes. I just wish I didnt waste all those years on him, pining, and hoping, crying whenever I saw him kissing someone. It was stupid. But it took me so long to realize. I guess I was just living on old memories. I cant believe; I gave him my everything. What do you mean by that? He was my first kiss. He took my virginity too. Oh. You have to understand, I used be a fat ugly girl. He was the only guy that paid any attention to me. He made feel like I was the only person around. He was so cute. When Id fall asleep in class hed tease me by writing on my skin but in a good way. Hed write things like Be Yourself, Hey, Sweetie pie, and he did an awful lot of hearts. Sometimes hed be naughty and write on my chest too. Donnie isnt sure how to respond to that. He has an uneasy feeling, but he really wants to know more. Oh, he says, so all this time youve been chasing after him? I know, its pathetic, isnt it? says Kate. No. ItsI guess romantic. Do you still love him? Yes. Actually, well, Im actually in love with him. Thats a little different from plain love. Ive loved lots of people, but Ive never been in love with more than one. Oh. Kate turns to Donnie. Did I hurt your feelings? I didnt mean to. Its alright. I have tough skin. And youre only trying to be honest with me. I dont care about anything as long as you and I are together. Thats what matters most. Right? Very right. Kate kisses Donnie on the lips, quite tenderly, which turns into more. A few months go by. Kate and Donnies relationship seems a lot better now. While they dont get to see each other as much as theyd like, they do always have a good time when

they are together. There are moments of bliss just like anyone would hope for. Today, on this morning, Donnie wakes up alone in bed. Kate is not to be found. He stretches, gets up groggily, and gets to his feet. He has no obligations to anywhere in particular today, but he feels certain routines must be maintained so that you do not get lazy. He goes to the bathroom and brushes his teeth, with a haze still around his vision, then takes a quick shower, and after patting himself down with a towel, goes to change clothes. He goes to the dresser and from the bottom drawer gets some clothes: a pair of slacks, an undershirt, and a button-up shirt. He puts these and then remembers that he needs socks. He returns to the dresser and opens the top drawer. In the top drawer, amidst his socks, is a small rectangular photo album. It catches Donnies eye. In his half-awake state he takes it out to look at it. He opens it. The first few photos are of Donnie and Kate, sweet memories of them on their many dates: at the park, at the zoo, on picnic, at restaurants. But near the back there are photos from a very long time ago, before Donnie decided to change his body. The last photo is a picture of him and Teddy, arms on each others shoulder, smiling. Something about this punches Donnie in the gut. He closes the photo album and glances at his pale hands, and then he reels back, and sits on the side of his bed. He rests his hands on his knees and slumps forward. He sighs. It sounds something like, Haaaaaaaah. He puts on his socks in a lethargic manner, and stands with a groan. He exits his master bedroom and goes down the staircase, which seems larger than usual. He pauses near the bottom, after smelling a scent of toast and tea. John must be making breakfast, he thinks. He continues along and enters the kitchen. John isnt at all present, which isnt unsurprising. In the butlers place, by the stovetop is Kate. She is dressed in a flowing red robe, stirring a pot of what seems to be soup. She turns around. There is an enormous smile on her face. It is unmistakably a smile of complete contentment Morning, sweetie, she says in a chirpy voice. Have a seat. She goes back to what shes doing, preparing eggs. Donnie doesnt have a seat. He just stares at the back of Kates head. Kate notices his uneasy mood and looks at him over her shoulder, Whats the matter, sweetie? In a rush? I can make you a smoothie to go. Actually, says Donnie, I think we need to talk. Talk? Oh, sure! What do you want to talk about? Us. Us? Katie places down her spatula and turns around to face Donnie. Donnie doesnt know how to start. He goes, I You what? says Kate, her eyes widening. I dont want to be with you anymore? Say that again? I dont want to be with you anymore. Im finished with our relationship. Why? Its not working out. Kate tries to get closer to Donnie, but he steps back, maintaining his distance. Is it something I did? says Kate. No, says Donnie. Not at all. Be specific! Stop giving me vague answers! Im going to go now. Where? Donnie starts walking toward the door. Kate jumps in front of him. Please, says Donnie, dont make this harder than it needs to be. Let me go. Donnie gets to the front door. After putting on his shoes, he opens it, and puts one foot out. But I love you, says Kate. You love a lot of people, dont you? says Donnie. Im in love with you. Are you? Yes. Im madly in love with you. Its too late now. Donnie tries to leave, but Kate falls to him, and grabs onto his leg. She clings to him desperately. Her eyes are filled with tears. Donnie gently picks her up. He wipes her face with a handkerchief obtained from his back pocket. Am I not good enough for you? says Kate. Youre probably too good for me, says Donnie. The problem is

Im not good enough for myself. You see? I dont understand. Maybe you will after I leave. You know, were more alike than you think. Donnie goes outside. Kate screams, Wait! You cant go! What about your stuff? The house? All the things we have together? Ill send someone over, says Donnie. He continues walking, trying to ignore Kate who is going, Dont leave me! He walks past his car, forgetting amidst the tension, and finds himself on the street. The look on his face says that he has somewhere to go. He keeps on for an hour, and ends up on Foster Road. He jumps on the sidewalk and finds the sunshine clinic. However, it is not looking in too good a shape. There is evidence of fire, black marks on the outside, and the windows are completely smashed. Glass is strewn around. Donnie spots Dr. Rose sitting on the curbside, eating a granola bar. Her eyes look dark; she appears tired. What happened here? says Donnie. Dr. Rose doesnt even both to look up. The protestors returned, she said. They smashed the windows and threw in Molotov cocktails. The whole place went aflame Why? I came here to have a reversal procedure Oh, youre one of our customers, huh? Yes. Well, sir, youre out of luck. Wont you have this all fixed later on? Nope. On top of this fiasco were being sued. There isnt going to be any money or time to run this business again. Why the lawsuit? Crimes against humanity, believe it or not. So, Im gonna be like this Forever. Or until you die. So, theres no hope, huh? Dr. Rose farts. Theres hope, she says, but it probably isnt here. Donnie stands still for a minute. Somethings going on in his head, yet he has nothing more to say. He decides to leave. As he walks ahead he pauses and looks on the ground, where lies a shiny shard of glass. In it is his reflectionbut it is neither black nor white, but something new altogether. He smiles, then puts his head back up to disappear from Foster Road. He does so without glancing back. What he came here for no long matters. THE END

***** Nanoputian That relationship didnt work out Get together, go on dates etc Youre me hero The move, The Stalker Wheres jay? Jim Krowe the hard action director a bitter hopeless romantic Crazy fan you were supposed to be my ray of sunshine, you made me fall in love with you, and now I know is youre just a slut. (fuck you, brah!) Interview, on the romance, was it good? Best kiss ever. Gina, Kates Assistant

Meets Greg again - Pick up artist stuff doesnt work long-term, doesnt tell you what to do when youre actually in a relationship ============================================================== Scholarship fund, Pearl, George, Maya - alibi Am I your favourite? Donnie gets chastised by brothers when he turns white. Visits grandma; she dont recognize him. Why do you get hurt so easily? When you love someone so much that youd die for them without hesitation, and they hurt you, you just go mad. Thats how love works. sad, angry, acting out, acceptance I can knock down a man three times my strength, because he dont got the speed and technique I do. You know why actors break up? Cause they get all intimate on screen Etc. Pick up artists society, neg the target, women dont care about your feelings Disney > If she doesnt love you because of how you look, then you shouldnt be with her. Kate These people love me. Donnie. No, they dont. They dont care about you. If you made a bad movie theyd drop you like a stone. If they saw something they werent interested in they wouldnt go to the theater to support your career because the love you. Its fake love. You should care more about real people. People who actually love you. You? Yeah. Well, I disagree with what you see. Kate. What you have is a PARASOCIAL relationship. Its one sided. And its not even an honest one. I know in interviews you bullshit about your life and exaggerate about who you are. I know, everyone does that. Every type of celebrity. Singer, actor, actress, whatever. But thats the point Im making, even the pseudo-relationship you have with your fans is fake. And I just dont know how you can derive self-esteem from that. You should get your head back down to earth. Youre an ass. You always have to shit on everything I have. Why? Im just sayingadmiration of celebrities is unhealthy. And the vice-versa relationship, thats even worse. You shouldnt use your fans as a crutch for your self-esteem. Resurrection of the homeless shelter Kate moves out of Donnies mansion Shut down the club. Theyre using you for your fame A kiss should be special Ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff How to Treat a Nam -Dont be afraid, communicate, M&D Of course it bothers me when you kiss other peoplebut what bothers me more is you dont care enough about me to stop. I would do it for you. Id do anything for you. I want you to treat me better, says Donnie. And I want you to--not act like an actress. What does that mean? says Kate defensively. And whats wrong with being an actress? How should I treat you then, hmm?

Look, weve had our ups and downs. Weve had a lot of downs. The reason why is because were too afraid of each other. Were too afraid to say when were dissatisfied for fear of being called a nag or a complainer. But I am here telling you what I want, because open communication, without fear, is the only thing that will make our relationship last. Okay. Tell me. What do you want? I want you to treat me like your mom and dad. What? No, no, no, that came out wrong. Okay Imagine your parents, your real mom and dad, are together again. I dont like where this is going. Just imagine it. Okay. Now, how would you like your mom and dad to treat each other? Imagine that. Kate paused and imagined. Okay. Now, in your imaginationhow does your dad treat your mom and vice versa? Um Say what comes to your mind. Well, they dont argue. They dont fight. They respect each other. Theyre madly in love. Right. So that means no flirtatiousness. Your mom doesnt kiss other men on cheek, or on the lips, or otherwise, right? Of course. And they dont have ex-boyfriends and girlfriend as friends, right? Yes. Its just them. Well, thats how I want to be treated by you. I want to be treated in the same way that you would like your parents to treat each other. Do you understand? I want that level of respect and decency. I want you to care for me as if you are living up to the ideals of your childhood-self. Thats weird. I didnt say it wasnt weird. But do you understand? I get it. You want us to be my ideal version of my parentsor maybe you parents. And can you do that? I dont know that I can, Donnie. What? Why not? I have a career. A career that requires me to not be the perfect girlfriend. Dont you care about me more than your career? Im not sure. You know, I care about you more than my career. Were different people. Writers letter to Kate Doesnt get responses Kate leaves mansion Kate likes Disney movies Notes: Pearl and Jon Lee Chan (Jon lee much later) visit later on when everything is established.

(Kate tries to stop Donnie from changing. She unconsciously takes him in a different direction. Brings out the bad qualities in him. Makes him very materialistic. Narcissistic even.) Hates being pretty Donnie uses the jealousy card dates another woman to make Kate Jealous. Play a board game and they ask Whats your biggest regret? Donnie throws downup. WYN Who you love is more important than what you love. Thats how it should be. Before you completely go, I would like to explain the motivations and lessons within my novel. Now, the reason Im doing this, here in plain English, is because when readers read a novel they do not all come to the same understanding. I mainly wrote this book to express myselfthat much is obviousbut to also go against the traditional (popular) stories about beauty we are all used to. Two examples come to mind: The Ugly Duckling and Beauty and the Beast. The first story is about an ugly duckling, not accepted by his friends, that grows into a beautiful swan. The second story is about a beastly prince that finds true love and has a curse broke, thus transforming him back into his former self, which is quite very dashing. When most people read these stories they think that have great lessons. When readers finish the Ugly Duckling they think, You got your comeuppances, you doubtful ducks! or You should treat others well. Then when readers get through with Beauty and the Beast they think, True love conquers all! For me these fairytales are far more insidious than they appear. The Ugly Duckling, in my opinion, teaches us only about human nature and possibly how things can change. But it does not teach children to be more tolerant or accepting of others. It simply says that in the case you change others may respect you. Or that people are often proved wrong. It doesnt say what happens otherwise and it certainly doesnt give anyone that idea that you shouldnt judge others by their looks. Contrariwise. The ducks all seemed jazzed at the former-ugly-ducklings swanny appearance. And in Beauty and the Beast everything works out for the Beast in the end and he finds someone that loves him. Someone who doesnt care about his appearance. But lets be honest, the Beast lived in a palace, and he had an enormous amount of wealth. (Im going on the Disney version.) What if he didnt have any of that, any help from those cute dishes, or any of the financial resources to make himself stand out? Also he kidnapped two people! Isnt that Stockholm Syndrome? Alright, thats a bit of the stretch, but theres a point that I am making. All these stories that are so endearing to us often give us hope, making us think that things will change in the end. Sorry That doesnt happen. It rarely does. And thats my problem. Most times things stay completely the same. We stay the same. I wrote this novel to drive this fact into peoples heads. I know that is a someone sad lesson, however, I leave you all with an urging at the end: Accept the things you truly cant change and love yourself (not to the point of narcissism!). Well, what cant we change about ourselves, physically? Almost everything. Pretty much the only thing that can

be modified on the human body is our weight, and even there some people find great difficulty. But, despite that observation, its still hard to accept ourselves isnt it? I myself often have a hard time with how I look. Ill be honest and say that I dont find myself very attractive. Im going bald, I have bad skin, buck teeth, Im out of shape, I have a pointed nose, and I have slitty eyes (which can be attributed to my race). I struggled with it almost daily. I try to tell myself that its okay, and that I should accept what I am. Still that rarely works. And I feel self-conscious, insecure, and very jealous a lot. I think back and think that maybe its because of my childhood. Growing up I was the least favorite. I was the accident and the black sheep amidst my brother and sister. I wasnt given crap for that specifically, you know, being born and all, but I was tortured for other reasons. I was often told that I was fat and stupid. I was, but it wasnt a nice thing to hear, especially from my dad. He loved calling me names. I think he loved it. He always had some sort of critique for me every time I did something. I remember when I wanted to be a comic book artist, I liked super heroes, and I showed him my drawing. He told me, and this isnt made up, he told me that I would become a starving artist and he laughed it off. At the time I didnt make much of it, but now I think, What the hell! What gets my goat (or goad) is that the kids at school would imitate my dad. My dad would openly call me names and they would mock that. The kids at school, including my best friend, would call me a fat ass in my dads voice. He had a Jamaican accent, so they thought it was funny. That killed me! I go to school and get called names and then I go home and get called names. The name calling was terrible. It was even far worse than when Id get beat with a belt for being spoilt and foul mouthed. You know, it sucks when youre a kid and you have no sanctuary. It drives you insane. I wish I had good friends like Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger to support me emotionally when I was growing up. My name is Harry after all! But that never happened. Damn you, non-fiction. As I recall my best friend called me fat too and he also beat me up some times. And any time a girl came around hed ditch me. Ive always been second or third or fourth on everyones list. All the people Ive loved or had feelings for have rejected me at one point or another, or put me aside for more important things. To this day Ive not become anyones favorite. Anyway, Im going off point here. I hope I dont sound whiny with all this. Im just trying to say that we all have baggage and problems with ourselves and we all have pasts but we shouldnt let that drag us down. They just shouldnt. You shouldnt have a gripe with yourself because you are too dark, or too hairy, or too short, or balding, or bowlegged. You should forget about what other people said, or have said, or how they treated you, and move ahead in your life. Accept what you are. Accept the things you cant change. Have some love for yourself, because if you dont love yourself who will? Good luck with your life! Celebrity relationships dont last. Because your s/o is always away, and when s/he is away s/he is kissing other people and flirting constantly. Wut! Fuk U! Look at that woman, shes so ugly. Why do you have to say that? Say what? Say shes ugly? Why? You like her? No. I just think thats a mean thing to say.

Who cares? She cant even hear. Thats not the point, pretty girl. Pretty girl? And what do you mean by that? You are a pretty girl. A spoilt little princess. You get everything you want just on your looks. And you have no idea whats its like to beugly. So, you should just be quiet and keep your comments to yourself. Why you! Note No mirror smashing Youre a dancing monkey. You dance and entertain people, and you earn money for your keepers. None of those people give damn about you. But I do. Why do you have to go out of your way to please them and not me? Getting nekkid. Exposing yourself to half the world, and then rubbing up against someone, and exchanging fluids? Why would I be comfortable with that? Thats not normal. In any other relationship that would be cheating, without a doubt. But you, you think thats its okay to do that, because its your job. Well, thats what the soldier says when he drops a bomb on a Pakistani village. Donnie wonders why Kate is so boy/man hungry. He figures its because of her parents divorcing. Her only getting to spend most of her time with her mom and not with her dad. Near every actor is brokenany one who wants that level of fame is insane or has selfesteem issues. Who needs that much attention? All you need is ten friends. Dad doctor (psychiatrist), mom lawyer Lots of feuding, didnt get much attention, so she had to go outside for attention, to other people, and found that she only got help/attention when flirty, and thats how she developed her personality. If fame is a drug youre a crack addict! Shut up, pal! Why I oughta! You might be better looking than me. You might have that charm that knocks everyones socks off. You might have everything in the world, but you will never have what I gave you. Genuine love. No one will ever love you like I did. Its not going to happen. You had the opportunity to have something great, and you let it go. Kate. I wouldve died for you in an instant. I wouldve done nearly anything. But you had to put your superficial needs over my feelings, and my thoughts. I cant be with someone who doesnt care for me. Good bye, silly Billy!