𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~01~

The black Honda-Fit joined the road that led to the BHC
houses in Block 3, Francistown. Alone, who was in the
passenger seat, was busy on her small Nokia 200,
playing the snake game.
"Alone?"
"Ma?" Looking up from her phone, she placed it on her
lap and faced her mother.
"I'll be back to pick you up after a week okay?"

Nodding, Alone bit her nails. It was a nervous habit she

never seemed to drop. For as long as she could
remember. She really didn't want to come here but her
mother insisted.

Her mother slowed down the street before she slowly

drove off the road and stopped the car by the gate.

"Alone, I want you to behave okay?"

"Ee mma. I don't like living with aunty mme, she calls me
lazy because I don't know how to cook." She whined. It
wasn't her fault that her mother did almost everything in
the house.
Alone's mother breathed out as Alone brought her
fingers to her lips to bite her nails.

"Lesa go ja dinala Alone."(don't bite your nails)

She quickly dropped her hands and she fisted them on
top of her jeans. Alone's eyes zoomed in on her hands.
"You'll have to learn how to cook Lolo. Until I come
back."

I'm not even coming back, her mother thought to herself.

It was hard to believe that a sixteen year old Alone could
do that. Wearing shorts around the house was okay, she
had wanted her daughter to be free but coming onto her
brand new husband? Alone was a child and as much as
she didn't want to believe that her daughter could do
that, she had started finding love letters in her school
bag and her love notes in her diaries. How was she
going to address this without making it seem like she is
accusing her child of wanting to steal her husband, this
was her one shot of happiness and she spent all her life
taking care of Lolo. She sighed as she stopped the car
and got out.
"Get your suitcase at the back."

Alone got out of the car and she breathed out. She'll
have to share the room with her messy cousin who
didn't even know the concept of space. She won't be
here for too long. Just visiting for the holidays.

She opened the boot and got the black suitcase and
then her backpack. She pulled the suitcase on the dusty
ground and opened thr gate. She pushed her relaxed
hair back, she couldn't wait to go back home. Already
this place was getting to her.
One kf her cousins opened the burglar bar and Alone
just dragged her bag to the house.
"Hi Lolo."
"Hello." With a forced smile, she walked to the house as
Mma Alone waited for Lolo's aunt to walk out. In less
than a minute, she walked out and folded her arms.
"Ga o ire sentle."
Guess that was her hello then.
"It's only for a while."
"I can never say no to staying with my brother's child,
that man of yours came onto Lolo and you don't want ti
believe it. That's why he said Lolo came onto him. How
the hell does a sixteen year old come onto a forty
something year old?"

Mma Alone just watched Meme go off before she

decided she had took enough of her verbal lashings.
"Either way, Lolo staying here will prevent anything from
happening."
Meme choked out a laugh. She couldn't believe this
woman.
"You are still going to be with him? Leaving your
daughter? Lolo did nothing wrong."
"Meme, I didn't come here for a lecture. I have to go. I'll
check on Lolo time and time again. I'll bring her uniform
next week, they are starting holiday school."
"Go ee! Akere wena o bona go le botoka to choose a
man over your own child. Kana o tshaba gore Lolo o
montle go go gaisa?"(you're afraid Lolo is prettier than
you?)
She turned on her heels and walked to the car. Meme
clapped her hands.

Alone, who had been by the door held back her own
tears. She didn't even realise her stepfather had been
making advances on her. She quickly walked to the
bathroom where she closed the door and sat on the
toilet seat.

She sniffed. He told her to call her daddy and she

thought he was going to be a father figure to her like he
had been when he was still her mother's boyfriend. She
used to call her own father that.

She rubbed her eyes with fisted hands and breathed in.
Her mother wouldn't choose anyone over her right?
Never. Her mother loved her. With that little assurance,
Lolo walked over to the sink and opened the faucet to
splash cold water over her face.
"You're fine Lolo. You're just too sensitive." She assured
herself as she walked out of the bathroom, rubbing her
hands over the jeans to wipe them clean.

Getting to the bedroom, Lolo's cousin was already by

her desk trying to study.
"Le wena wa bala?"(you also read?)
The cousin pushed her braids back.
"Some of us actually have to study Lolo, we are not that
intelligent."
Lolo walked over to the desk to take a peek at what she
was doing.
"I hate Biology, I only pass it because that man beats us
if we fail."
"Help me."

Lolo pulled the chair next to the desk and looked at the
question her cousin was doing.
"Okay. If I help you, will you pay me?"
"Lolo we are family."
"And this is my personal time. Next week I'm going to
school for holiday school and I should be resting. School
is exhausting kana."
Her cousin looked at her. Lolo wasn't budging and she
did need help anyway. A lot of help. Her mother was
already paying for a tutor and she didn't even
understand the tutor. How dumb is that? On top of going
to a private school? Maybe Lolo explaining to her was
going to be much better.
"I'll think about it."
"Think fast."

Lolo's Nokia rang on the bed and she quickly got up to

go get it. She looked at the caller id and smiled. The call
was right on time.
"Hello."
"Lolo, hi." His pubescent deep voice had her smiling like
a retard as she glanced over at her cousin then walked
out of the room. Her cousin gave her a look but she
ignored it.
"Hold on."
She held the phone as she looked around and her
aunt's voice could be heard in the kitchen. She quickly
headed outside to talk to him.

"Okay, hiiii."
"I was checking on you."
"I'm good. I'm at my aunt's place now."
"Block 3?"
"Uh huh.."
"Can you give me directions? So we go get ice cream?"
She looked around. There was still no sign of anyone.
She turned her back to the house as she resumed her
conversation with him.
"We won't be long akere?"
"Ng ng."
"Ha BHC.." she gave him the house number.
"Ke etla autwe?"(I'm coming okay?)
"Okay."

He cut the call and she placed the phone against her
chest. Does she look okay? Should she style her hair
and add more pins? Maybe change her top and spray
some of her cousin's perfume. Would that be too much?

"Lolo?"
She nearly jumped and dropped her phone at her aunt's
voice that was coming from behind her. Did she
overhear the conversation? If she tells her mother, she
was going to get a beating. Oh God!
"Ma?"

Her voice was squeaky as she turned to face her aunt.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆
~02~

Meme held her waist.

"You just arrived and you're on the phone?"
"Sorry."
Meme sighed.
"Come, let's talk for a minute."
Meme turned and Lolo breathed out in relief. Not caught.
Good.

She followed her aunt into the house and she sat down
on the couch as her aunt sat down next to her.
"Did your mother tell you why you're here?"
"It's for the holidays."
Meme hated how easily Lolo went along with what her
mother said. What anyone said for that matter. Too good
for her own good, she must've got the quality from her
brother.
"How is your relationship with your stepfather?"
"It's good. So far. I still miss papa though."
"He hasn't made a move on you?" Meme asked with a
lot of concern in her voice. Her brother would turn in his
grave if his only child was molested or suffered whilst
they were there. She swallowed subtly, pushing the
away the grief that was starting to creep up on her at the
mere thought of her brother.
Alone shook her head. Not that she saw that, if he did
she would have told her mother. Her boyfriend was the
one who made a move on her at school. Kind of dreamy
that she is seeing the school's top student wasn't it?
"Lolo? Alone? Are you listening?"
"E-e, ee mma."
"Okay. I believe you."
"Is something wrong? Did I do something I'm not
supposed to?"
"Nyaa. You're good. You should go study now."
"Ee mma." She got up. From the conversation she
overheard, she was probably overreacting. Her mother
didn't possibly think that. She should stop
eavesdropping on conversations that aren't even hers to
begin with.

She walked into the bedroom and faced her cousin who
smiled.
"You have a boyfriend?"
"Keep it down Tebogo." Lolo closed the door and had
her back against it.
Tebogo smirked.
"Help me for free, or else I'm telling mama and your
mom."
Lolo closed her eyes. Not a beating. It was already a
hassle hiding the relationship from the teachers in the
school. If her mom found out, she was going to go to
school and then get him in trouble. And herself in
trouble. She didn't want that at all.
"Fine. Keep it to yourself. Ka go kopa."
Tebogo smiled.
"When do our lessons start?"
"Later tonight is fine. Do I look fine?"
"Ee. I like your top, can I borrow it?"
"Ng ng. O tlo e ngamola."(no,you're going to stretch it)
Alone walked to the mirror in the room and she fixed her
top and pushed her hair back. She should add a hair
band.

She walked to her suitcase and crouched before it, she

opened it and found the pearl hairband. She placed it on
her hair. It looked good. She took out her small purse
and got a ten pula note.
Her phone vibrated in her pocket. She opened the
message. He was close.
"Tebogo, ke ya dimausung ke ya go tsenya airtime ke a
bowa."(I"m going to the tuckshop for airtime, I'll be back)
Tebogo nodded. She could feel the lies radiating off
Alone.
Alone walked over to the bedside table and picked
Tebogo's perfume.
"I'll add another tutoring lesson on weekends." She
sprayed the perfume from the expensive bottle.
"Thanks."
With that, Alone walked out and Tebogo burst out
laughing. The family didn't even know Alone was just
trouble hidden by an innocent face.

Alone played nonchalant as she passed the lounge. Her

aunt wasn't here. Good.
"Mmamane, ke ya dimausung."
"Okay. Don't take too long."
"Ee mma."

She walked out as fast as she could. Her smile too big
and her heart bursting with happiness. Maybe she might
like staying here. A big maybe.

She closed the gate. Deep breaths Lolo. Deep breaths.

She spotted him a few feet away from her house. She
casually walked over to him and she smiled as she he
enveloped her in a hug.
"People are watching Shawn." What if the neighbours
saw them? She couldn't risk it.
"Sorry." He broke the hug and pushed his glasses back
as they started walking together. Once they were out of
that street, she hugged him again and he chuckled.
"I think I'm going to like you staying here."
"Me too."
He held her hand and she couldn't help the little blush
that came over her.
"Where are we getting icecream?"
"I know a place. How long do you have?"
"As long as I'm home before sunset."
He took out his phone to check the time.
"We have two hours."

She gladly followed him with a goofy smile on her face.

***

At Mma Alone's house, she sat down on the couch next

to her husband.
"You didn't have to send her away, she is a child and I
should have behaved better in that situation and told her
it's inappropriate."
"I know. She usually goes to her aunt's place during
holidays."
"To keep the connection with her father's family."
"Yes. They are the ones who in future will be conducting
her magadi and all."

His jaw ticked but he rubbed her arm.

"I am her father now, my family has no problem with her.
I even suggested she take my surname."
She shook her head.
"I can't disrespect her father's memory like that."
"You still love him?"

She didn't know how to tell her husband that she loved
her deceased husband very much. To the point of
almost killing herself to join him, if it wasn't for Alone she
wouldn't be here. Did she make the right decision
though? Wanting Alone to stay with her aunt till she
finishes her last term? Would Alone's father be proud of
her actions? She swallowed down the guilt. She made
the right decision right?

"N-no."
She lied through her teeth.
"Will Alone be back?"
"No."
"She is just a child, reprimanding her shouldn't be that
tough."
"I know. Just let me parent how I see fit."
"And I thought we were a team."
"Th-th-" her words jumbled as he got up. She composed
herself before speaking again.
"I know that. She came onto you and that is not right,
she should be seeing you as her father not her age
mate."
"Mmhmm…"

He walked away and she sighed. She leaned back on

the couch closing her eyes.

***

At Block 3, Alone and Shawn sat by the bridge as she

took a lick of his ice cream. He watched her through his
lens. She was beautiful. She finished his ice cream as
he stared at her.
She blushed under his intense scrutiny as she placed a
hand over his.

"I like spending time with you. This freely."

"Reckon we could tell our guardians about us after we
are done with our exams?"
"I-I don't know tota. Mama is going to flip and this time
she might send me to my uncle's place ko masimo
kwa.."
He laughed.
"Is she that strict?"
"Yes. Your brother at least knows you're dating. Ba ka
mpolaya ko lapeng kwa. Kana maloba go raya that note
slipped ke ha mosadi a jampa and I had to lie and say I
don't know how it got there. E nna kgang rra."
He rubbed her chin and she smiled at him.
"Gape this is not a movie, black parents are strict."
"I know." He lowered his head to kiss her jaw then his
lips brushed over hers softly and she shivered. Not even
sure if it was from the cold or the touch of his lips. He
moved his head back.
"Can I?"
She looked into his eyes and removed his glasses as
she nodded, biting her lips.
She held the glasses tightly, to try and not drop them.
His lips brushed over hers again and she parted her lips
for him. The kiss was gentle and sweet. Like him. His
hand held her waist and she moved further into him. He
broke the kiss and stepped back.

"What is it?"
"Nothing." He kissed her forehead as his hand slipped in
his jean pockets to try and adjust his jeans.
"Let me walk you home."
"Okay. Call later for the Statistics assignment answers? I
want to cross check with yours."
"You're taking advantage of me, do you know that?"
She giggled as she took his hand and they started their
walk back to her aunt's place.
"I like the hair band." He noticed. Yes!
"And your perfume." Another win for her. She should use
it often.
"Thank you."

He lowered his head to peck her lips and she was going
to sleep a very happy girl today.

Their walk was sweet as she now held his arm. She
could believe with all her heart that she loved him now.
"Shawn?"
"Ma?"
"I love you." His eyes widened before a smile graced his
lips. He has been waiting for her to say that, he was a
goner the first time he saw her in class. And when she
agreed? He stupidly blurted it out that he loved her. She
had laughed it out.
"Shawn, ka re ka go rata tlherra."(Shawn, I said I love
you)

He picked her up and she giggled.

"Shaaawn!"
"I love you more."
He put her down and lifted her head to kiss her. Both
unaware that someone was watching them.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~03~

Alone licked her lips and smiled at him.

"Let's get going now." He looked around and it was just
a single person passing by. Lolo held his arm.
"How is it at your aunt's place, you look like you hate it."
"I don't. Not like that, kana yaanong I'm forced to cook
and Tebogo, my cousin ga itse personal space."
"Only child tendencies. You are supposed to
accommodate other people within your space."
"Ng ng. Not always but I'm used to it. Anyway, I enjoyed
today. A lot."
He rubbed her arm.
"We can take walks everyday."
"My aunt will get suspicious but I will try."
"By November we can spend more time together."
She grinned at him.
"I'd like that. Very much."

They held hands and continued to be well on their way.

***

As the two got closer to Meme's place, Shawn stopped

walking and he hugged her one last time.
"I'll call later."
He kissed her forehead and she smiled looking up at
him.
"Okay. Bye. I love you okay?"
He looked around before he dipped his head to kiss her
and she giggled after breaking the kiss.
"Bye."
She got out of his embrace and smiled at him, waving
before she turned her back and hurriedly walked to the
yard. Shawn waited for her to get inside the yard and
walked closer to make sure she got inside the house.
The door opened and closed. That's when he turned
and started walking back home.
***

Alone leaned against the door as she closed it and was

startled by her aunt watching her from the couch. She
placed a hand over her erratic heart.
"You took your time.."
Alone straightened up and hoped her face didn't show
how lovesick she was.
"It looked like nice weather for a walk…uhm let me go
bath."
"Mhhmm."
She quickly passed the couch and headed to the
bedroom. That was close.

She closed the bedroom door and threw herself on the

bed, kicking her legs up and down. Tebogo rolled her
eyes as she watched Alone behave in ways.
Alone turned and her back was now on the bed as she
looked up at the ceiling fan.
"I think I want to marry him."
Tebogo laughed.
"No one marries their high school sweethearts. They are
there for character development."
"Ng ng. I'm marrying him."
"You're delusional. Besides a pretty girl like you can only
get hotter from hereon kana Alone, men don't marry
pretty women."
"And where did you get that?"
Alone sat up right as Tebogo breathed out. She was
going to be eighteen in a month and she knew these
things.
"Take my mom, she is pretty. The women in our family
are pretty. Not one has been married."
Alone removed her shoes.
"Maybe they don't want marriage, there is that kana?
Look at mama, she was married to dad and now she is
married again."
"Your mom is-I don't know how to describe it but I think
I'll have the perfect words to describe it when we are
older."
"Nna I'm marrying him. Let's bet on it."
"Let's say ten years from now then?"
Alone grinned.
"Deal. Ntle ke ye go tlhapa."(let me go take a bath)
"Okay. Food is ready."
"I'll eat after the bath."
Alone removed her socks. She should start packing her
clothes into the wardrobe.
Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she removed it.
She sae the caller id and answered.
"Mama.."
"Alone, how are you settling in?"
"I'm good."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I have to go. I'll call tomorrow."
"Okay. Bye."
"Bye."

Tebogo looked from her books.

"You thought it was your boyfriend?"
"Wena o tlo ntshwarisa. If I get a beating, it's your
fault."(you'll make me get caught)
"Who is he? Let me see."
"After the final exams. For now he deleted his social
media accounts. Nna mama took my phone."
She put the phone down and unbuttoned the jeans
before trying to shimmy out of them.
"Bathong form five is never that serious."
Alone shook her head.
"It is that serious. I feel like it's much simpler in private
schools but for us public school kids? It's serious and
besides he wants to be a top achiever, he needs to star
all his subjects. Nna getting As for everything is fine, I
don't need much tota."
"That sounds like a lot of work."
"It is, he does it effortlessly. See why I want to marry
him? Gape o sweet gore."

Alone paused. An idea forming in her head.

"Alone?"
"Hmm?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm okay." She sat down on the bed in her panties
as she removed her top. She should run it past him. She
didn't know how she was going to do it or even sneak
out but it seemed like a good idea.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~04~

Alone sat on her aunt's couch waiting for her mother.

She had spent the whole week in tears when her mother
told her she wasn't even taking her back. She was
staying here for the rest of the term. So her mother had
really chosen her new husband over her? It was just her
being delusional thinking she would. She breathed out
looking at the ceiling. The quiet house seeming more
lonely now that her aunt and Tebogo were not home.
Her aunt was at work and Tebogo was at school.

She heard the gate open and she touched her head, her
neatly plaited cornrows making her forehead shine and
her eyes popping out. She opened her bag and checked
if her phone was in there as well as a pen and a book to
give her bag some weight along with her asthma pump.
She didn't have a lot of asthma attacks these days but
she carried it just in case.

She got the bag and walked to the door, removing the
key from the door before she opened it. The fun part of
today was that she was spending the rest of the day with
Shawn shortly after the report collection. They'll walk
together to the taxi rank and she had come to the
discovery that their houses were like four streets apart,
no wonder he had the time to walk her home. She
locked the house just as her mother got out of the car. In
her pink school uniform and shiny grasshopper shoes,
she walked to the gate as her mom started speaking.
"You're ready?"
She nodded and faked a smile but the anger resurfaced.
Her mother chose her new husband over her. It sounded
absurd the more she thought about it but alas, it was her
reality.
"Is something wrong?"
"Nyaa."
"Is it about your grades? Did you fail?"
"No. Not at all. I did say I only got three Bs and the rest
ke bo A le di A star."

Mma Alone nodded.

"Alone, I thought we came to an agreement that you'll be
spending the last term here. Besides then you'll be done
with school and can start thinking of courses for
University. Tebogo is here and you are both at the same
level."
"Ee mma."

She closed the gate and walked to the passenger side.

She got inside and buckled up.
"Alone, you know I love you."
"I know. It's okay."

Mma Alone sighed as she got inside. She started the car
as Alone faced the window. Being here was for Alone's
good.

***

At Francistown Senior, Shawn joined the line with his

brother to consult with the maths teacher.
"We don't have to take long. We are left with two more
consultations and we are done." He assured his brother.
"At least we came early. That is what helped. At least I
won't do this ever again. Report collection ya lapisa."
"This is the last lap." Shawn added as Kagiso chuckled.
His little brother was just a few months away from
achieving his dreams. He raised this young man and he
was so proud of the grades he was getting. He was
always here for prize giving ceremonies when he
scooped all prizes. A proud brother and guardian.

The line moved and they moved with it.

In the same school hall, Alone held the paper.

"I think we should start here so we push."

She spotted Shawn and her stomach did those little

flutters she always got when she saw Shawn. She tried
not to smile as she directed her mother.
"Let's start ka Biology, ga a na line."(she doesn't have a
line)

The two ladies walked there and Alone sat down with
her mother as her biology teacher looked at her.
"Dumelang." She said anr Alone and her mother greeted
back.
The teacher took out her grade book as she looked for
Alone's name. She placed a ruler under it.
"O bona letshwao la gago Alone?"(do you see your
grade?)
"Ee mma."

Mma Alone looked at the B and nodded.

"Kana Mma Puso, Alone wa tshameka."(Mrs Puso,
Alone is not serious)
Mma Alone didn't bother correcting in regards to the
change of surname.
"Kana she doesn't get Bs for Biology. I was surprised but
I found the root cause."
Alone was confused. What was going on here? What did
her biology teacher mean?

Mma Alone glanced at Alone whose confusion was all

over her face.
"What's the problem?"
"This time of the school term is really crucial for
students. It's a do or die situation because these grades
determine their futures."
"True. As a parent, what can I do to help?"
"Alone?"
Alone blinked and answered her biology teacher.
"Wa jola Alone?"(are you dating Alone?)
Alone froze on the spot. Her heart was slowing down.
"M-ma?"
She placed her hands on her lap, rubbing the sweaty
palms against the checkered pink skirt. She could feel
her throat starting to close in on her.

Mma Alone observed Alone. Why did Alone freeze?

Wasn't she the one who had love letters and she swore
the one that fell out of her bag wasn't hers? Wasn't she
the one who came onto her husband? A man who was
supposed to be a father figure to her?
"Alone, answer the question."
"N-ny-nyaa mma. Ga ke jole."(I'm not dating)

Her pulse raced as her throat bobbed. She tried to

maintain eye contact without looking the other way.
"It wasn't you who I saw kissing Shawn almost a month
ago?"
Alone felt chills all over her body as her vision flickered.
She placed a hand over her chest, she couldn't breathe.
"Nyaa mma." Her voice came out as a whisper.
"Are you okay?"
She nodded as she opened her bag for her asthma
pump. She put it in her mouth and after a few pumps
and blinked back tears she looked at them.
"Alone, this is your future. Boys come and go. They get
you pregnant and then your life stops while theirs
continues. I know what I saw. All I can say is that ene he
us going to be successful if you let yourself be delayed
by him."
"Ma'am, ga ke jole. I swear."

Mma Alone had already seen it. Alone's reactions from

when the question was asked. She was seeing some
boy. What did the teacher say his name was again?
She'll ask Alone when it's just them two.

The teacher signed the paper and Alone and her mother
stood up. Alone rubbed her eyes and breathed in as
they continued with the report collection. Two hours later
they were done and her mother looked at the report she
just got from her class teacher.
"I still got above 45 points." She smiled, trying to lighten
the mood.
"I see. Let's go home."
She blinked. She thought her mother was leaving her
behind, besides she usually gets a taxi to take her home
after report collection.
"Ma-"
"Alone!"
She looked around to be sure that no one heard her
mother raise her voice at her. She saw Shawn and
reluctantly followed her mother to the car.

She got inside and the tension in the car was too thick.
She didn't dare take out her small Nokia phone. She'll
talk to Shawn once she gets home.

Mma Alone started the car as Alone buckled up and

faced the window.

***

The drive home was silent as the gate slid open and
Mma Alone parked her small car by the shade. The
white puppy jumped up and down before it ran to the
car. Alone didn't want to ask questions as she got out of
the car holding onto her bag and report card.

Mma Alone tried to breath but the anger that had slowly
started to build up after what Alonexs biology teacher
said didn't make it easy.

She got out of the car and Alone turned her head. She
walked to the door and unlocked the house.
Alone walked inside. It seemed like a long time since
she's been home. She quietly walked to her bedroom.

She opened the door and left it partially open as she

placed her bag on the queen sized bed. She looked
around. Everything was still the same.

Meanwhile Mma Alone got her husbands belt from the

wardrobe in her room and she slowly walked to Alone's
room.

Alone heard the door close. She slowly turned and

swallowed audibly.
"M-mama?"
Her mother stalked closer.
"Wa jola Alone?"(are you dating Alone)
She shook her head. Tears already filling her eyes.
Mma Alone lifted her hand and whipped Alone's bare
legs making her scream.
"Alone?"
Alone's tears rolled down as she moved back.
"Ga ke jole mama!"(I'm not dating mom)
Her mother laughed in disbelief. Did Alone think she was
stupid?
She started whipping her legs as Alone cried.
"Wa jola wena! Mo game! O batla go ntlela ka mpa
akere wena Alone!"(you are dating. In my house. You
want to turn up pregnant Alone!)

Alone cried as she received more whips from the belt,

trying to move but her mother hit her legs and her throat
closed up as her chest constricted.
"Maaaamaaa! Ga k-"
The belt whipped her again and again and again!
𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~05~

Alone's mother stopped whipping as Alone ugly cried

with mucus running down her face, unable to breath as
she pulled herself to a corner in the room. She tried to
breath but couldn't.
"I-I ca-can't breath!" She wheezed as she placed a hand
over her chest.

Mma Alone dropped the belt and walked over to the

study table and picked one of the asthma pumps there.
She gave it to Alone who held it for dear life.
Alone brought the pump to her mouth, hands shaking
and her wheezing. It took minutes for her to breath
properly and Mma Alone tried to cool off in those
minutes but she couldn't help her anger. It refused to go
away the longer she looked at Alone.

Alone brought her knees to her face, now starting to feel

the pain in her legs. She looked at them and could see
the marks. Tears rolled down and she sniffed. She
brought the asthma pump to her mouth once more.

"Alone?"
She looked up at her mother and the anger in her eyes
made tears fill in hers.
"O itse basimane yaanong?"(you know boys now?)
She shook her head. She was going to deny! Deny!
Deny! No matter what.
"You have love letters, I read your diary too."

Alone's heart broke in that moment. She did? That was

her privacy.
"Th-that's invading my privacy."
"Privacy in whose house? Not mine."
Alone dropped her head.
"And I will beat you again if I ever hear you have a
boyfriend. Your education comes first, I didn't raise you
alone gore o tle o nne a teenage mother. Wa peka ne
Alone?"(Are you crazy Alone?)
"Nyaa mma."
"Nxla! Keore if you are not after my husband, you are
with school boys!"

Alone blinked. What?

"Mama ga ke ire jalo."(mama, I don't do that)
"Ke tla go shimega Alone!"(I'll beat you Alone)

Alone let out a sob as she shook her head.

"I'm not after your husband mama…I see him as a
father. I would never do that mama. Ga ke jole. Ga ke
ise ke jole mo botshelong."(I have never dated in my
life)
"O maaka ebile gape?"(You're a liar too)

She shook her head. Trying to plead her case. She

would never come onto an old man. One who was
supposed to be a father to her, she didn't even see him
like that. And she was never outing Shawn. Never!
"Mama, o mpiditse and you didn't even ask me for my
side of the story. When I wrote those term two exams I
told you that Biology paper was a bit hard for me and
getting that B is actually a pass. You-"

Her lips wobbled and she rubbed her tears and shook
her head. It was no use. She was now the one who
wanted her mother's husband. Her mind replayed that
conversation her mother had with her aunt when she
was dumped there. Her mother actually believed that
she wanted her husband? How absurd was that? She
chose that man over her. Her flesh and blood. She
wasn't going to believe anything she said.

Mma Alone saw it. When Alone stopped crying and she
just nodded.
"Go siame. Le ka mpetsa hela."(it's okay. You can beat
me then.)

Alone sighed, her heart rate slowing back down to

normal and she stared at the ceiling. Mma Alone looked
at Alone's legs, the belt left marks and she was bruising
already, some of the belt marks were bleeding a bit.

Alone waited. For another beating. Mma Alone breathed

out as she walked towards Alone who moved back a bit.
She stopped in her tracks and Alone dropped her head.
Her body tired and her head starting to ache from all the
crying. She closed her eyes in that position as her
mother watched her.

She stepped back and picked the belt from the floor,
walking out of the room.

***

Hours later, Mma Alone was with her husband in their

bedroom.
"So you're saying the teacher told you she is dating?"
"Yes."

It was true. She saw the evidence herself. Alone came

onto her husband. A whole sixteen year old and she was
supposed to tolerate and understand that?
"What if she lives here so you can keep an eye on her?"
She chuckled. She was torn between that and Alone
now having access to her husband.
"Look, Alone is a young girl. A pretty one at that, kana if
you let her stay with her aunt she might turn up
pregnant. Her future will be ruined."

He walked to her as he wrapped his arms around her

shoulers.
"That way, she can't go anywhere and you can hire a
taxi to pick her straight from school instead of her
catching her own taxi after school. That way go nna
botoka."
"You do have a point."
"Mhmmm…you shouldn't have beat her though."
"Keore gape the fact that she is not behaving like a
child. You are supposed to be likr a father to her."
"It's these teenage hormones. She might have not even
thought about it. Let it go."

She couldn't.
"Let me get her so we get her things fron her aunt's
place."
"I'll drive you two there."
She nodded before she turned to kiss him.

She walked out and he smiled alone in the room.

In Alone's room, she wore sweatpants. Her legs had

bruised more and she could barely walk properly. She
had managed to send Shawn a text for him not to call at
all before she took out the simcard and chewed it. She
had deleted the messages prior and she now sat on the
floor, having nothing to do. Just one flaw cancelled out
every good thing about her in her mother's eyes. She
didn't even know how to feel about that.

The door opened.

"Alone?"
"Ma?"
"Get up, you're moving back in."
Alone wanted to laugh. But at what cost now? Her
sanity?

***

At Meme's house, she parked her car outside the yard

seeing Mmaagwe Alone's husband. She got out of the
car in her high heels and her suitcase in her hand. She
opened the gate and he looked at her and greeted her.
"Dumela." She greeted back and walked towards the
house as he looked at her backside in that tight pencik
skirt. No wonder Alone was beautiful, the people from
her father's side of the family were beautiful. Including
her aunt even Alone's agemate they had found in the
house in her John Mackenzie school uniform.

Meme looked at Mmaagwe Alone.

"What's going on?"
"Alone is moving back."
She raised a well drawn eyebrow.
"What? Why? Akere you had decided gore o batla go go
jela monna, what changed?"
"Meme keep it down."
Meme rolled her eyes.
"Now you want her there? And I did ask Lolo myself
after you dropped her off. She said she didn't even do
what you are accusing her of."
"Mem-"

Lolo pulled her suitcase and Meme looked at her. Her

eyes were swollen. She looked like she had been crying.
"Lolo what's wrong?"
She shook her head.
"Nothing."
She pulled it out and passed them. That's when she
noticed that Alone was walking like it hurt her to
walk.Meme glared at Mma Alone. Mma Alone ignored
the glare and Lolo came back minutes later.
"I'm just going to get my books."

She passed them and Meme could tell something was

wrong. Of course she sometimes called Lolo lazy. What
girl her age didn't know how to cook and preferred not
doing anything? Other than that, she loved her niece.
She was her brother's angel and he had loved her so
much.

In the bedroom, Alone hugged Tebogo.

"We will talk okay? Maybe after she has cooled down."
"I'll miss having you as my tutor and your secret is safe
with me."
"Thank you." They hugged some more.
"I can't believe she did that."
"Ke tla reng."(what can I do?)
"I'm sorry." Tebogo told her cousin. Alone breathed out.
"Ke kopa perfume."(can I have your perfume)

Tebogo broke the hug and laughed.

"Of course."
Alone got the perfume and and smiled. Shawn liked this
perfume on her. She'll just have to be careful from here.

She walked out and Tebogo watched her painful walk

out. Was it ever that serious though? Her mother never
beat her like that. The last time she received a beating
was when she was 12. She sighed as she got the last of
Alone's books to help her.
Alone passed the adults as Tebogo followed shortly
behind her.

She came back and Meme hugged her.

"I'll miss your complaints in the house."
Alone laughed as she inhaled her aunt's perfume.
"I'll visit. I promise. Bye."
"Bye Lolo. I love you." She whisped and Alone smiled
before she broke the hug. She turned to her mother.
"I'm done."
Alone walked out and sat in the passenger seat. Her
mother's husband tried to initiate conversation but she
ignored him as she took out a Danielle Steele novel from
her books. Shawn got it for her as a birthday gift in June.

She placed the book on her lap and started reading. Her
mother got inside the car.
"Is that the rest of it?"
"Ee mma."
Mma Alone opened her mouth and closed it before she
faced forward.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~06~
It was lunch time at Francistown Senior and Alone had
her legs on Shawn's lap in the far corner of Shawn's
class. He had his maths book open as she took a peek
at what he was doing.
"I'm still sorry I got you in trouble."
She shrugged.
"Mama is still stuck in the medieval ages but I don't have
to be there for long. Probably after exams, I can go live
with my aunt and leave her to live in peace with her
husband."
He pushed back her grey slacks to reveal her legs. His
throat bobbed at the belt marks on her legs.
"I applied ointment. I'll be fine. I’m giving it a week to get
better.”
She picked up the pencil and scribbled on his maths
notebook.
"Ga wa dira sentle ha."(you didn't do it properly here)
He looked at what she wrote.
"Also I just have to make myself scarce, it's eat, bath,
study and then sleep for the next three months. Aha,
ebile I want to run something through you."
He rubbed her feet that were covered by the white
socks.
"I'm listening."
She looked around. People were at the dining hall for
lunch and she was here with him. Anyways, they were
going to get something to eat by the school tuckshop in
like ten minutes so it was no biggie.

She moved closer and held his head, pushing it down till
it was on the same level as hers.

She whispered in his ear and when she was done she
moved back.
"Lolo?" She grinned at the surprise in his voice.
"What do you think?"

Shawn rubbed his jaw as he looked at his girlfriend. One

would think that after what happened after report
collection she would break up with him but here she
was…

"Babe, think about it. I know you're going to agree mme

keore you're still going to try and convince me out of it."
He chuckled in disbelief. He was still young to want her
like he did.
"Our relationship is like somewhat forbidden at this point
Alone."
"That makes it so fun, besides what will we tell our kids
in years to come?"
He couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips.
"Our shenanigans will be their bedtime stories." He stole
a kiss and she blushed.
"I love you."
"So it's a yes?"
"Alone!"
"Sorry ee. Think about it okay?"
He continued rubbing her feet.
"I will."
"I'll also get a new simcard, that's registered under my
name anyways next weekend. Gape since it's like I'm
my mom's prisoner, we can read together at the library
on Saturday. It's not like wa go tsena or anything."
"Ee mma."
"Mhmm.." he picked his school hat and put it on her
head.
"Let's go buy food."
"Yes sir!" She laughed as she removed her feet from his
lap and slid them into her school shoes before she
adjusted the hat that was a bigger on her head. If it
wasn't for the strict woman she lived with, she would
have stolen this hat from Shawn. She had four subject
badges adorning her shirt while he had six. Such a
smart @ss.
He nudged her forward as he picked his blazer and kept
a subtle hand on her back, walking out of class.

***

At Mma Alone's house, her husband came home for

lunch just as she closed her laptop.
"Hello."

He greeted her and sat on the couch opposite hers.

"I didn't want to say this but ever since Alone came
back, she seems to hate me."
Mma Alone sighed.
"Alone wants you then all of a sudden Alone hates you.
Ke dire jang yaanong?"(what should I do?)

He looked the other way before composing herself.

"Akere Alone is no longer bothering you and 'hitting' on
you. That should make you happy. She is focusing on
her school work and her future."

He didn't know how to respond to that.

"But she doesn't have to hate me. I'm her second
father."
She breathed out. Frustrated. She was in a very long
boring meeting that had sucked the life out of her and
now her husband wanted to pick a fight with her. She
didn't want a fight. She wasn't in the mood for one at this
point.

"If she doesn't want you to be her second father then it's
fine. With the way you're insisting on bringing up Alone
even when it's not necessary, I'm starting to think you hit
on her. She is a child. Her teacher said she was dating a
fellow student, o boi to even talk back sometimes.
Waitse ke eng…"

She got up and walked out of the house. He sighed

frustrated. He blew it.

***

Hours later, Alone was home from school and she had
carefully set up her study desk to the night's study
session. A knock sounded on her door and she looked
at it. She sighed.

"Come in."

The door opened and her mother walked in. She

glanced over at her before she opened her textbook.
She paged to the chapter she was looking for and
opened her notes.
"Can wr talk for a minute Alone?"
"I'm studying and focusing on my books." She replied
quietly.

Mma Alone watched her daughter ignore her.

"I'm sorry."
"Ee mma. It's fine."

Alone picked a purple highlighter and her sticky notes as

she started to read silently to herself.
"I should have talked to you first."
"Ee mma. You don't have to apologise."
"You don't sound like you are accepting my apology."

Alone turned to face her mother and smiled as sweetly

as she could.
"It's okay. Apology accepted."

She turned to her books, the smile dropping from her

face. She held the highlighter firmly, wanting to vent
about how she felt but her mother wasn't going to
believe her. She believed other people instead of her
own daughter.
She had even chosen that man who was starting to get
on her nerves every second she saw him. She had to
breath in and out and try not to pick the closest object
and hit his head with it. To punish him for the sole fact
that her mother had chosen him over her and that he
somehow planted the idea in her mother's head that she
had wanted him. She rolled her eyes. And her mom?
God, if she wasn't so afraid she'd strangle the woman
herself till she ran out of breath but she can't do that. All
she has to do is smile and be respectful.

"I don't think you're forgiving me Alone."

Alone finally turned to her mother.
"You said sorry and you didn't say sorry for what. I don't
even know what I'm forgiving you for. All I know is that if
dad had been here, I wouldn't be going through this."

She turned to her books. Mma Alone stared at Alone for

a minute before she walked out of the room.

Alone breathed out. Minutes later she heard doors

opening and closing then the sound of the car.

He focused on what she was supposed to study when

another door knock interrupted her.
“Tsena.”(come in)
The door opened and her mother’s husband stood by
the door. She visibly rolled her eyes, making sure her
annoyance came off her body in waves.
“Alone?”
“Hmmm?” She didn’t even reply back with respect.
“You are supposed to behave like a child.”

She scoffed. She was already tired of living here.

“I am a child. I don’t offend anyone but whatever I do is
wrong anyway. Wonder where mom got the idea that I
wanted a funny looking old man like you. Which when
you think about it is very much disgusting.” All she had
seen was a father figure, someone to call dad, daddy
whatever she used to call her late dad.

He froze. Funny looking? Disgusting?

“Ke kopa go bala. I don’t want to fail my exams and I’m
not stupid enough not to connect the dots.”

She had to avoid her mother and her husband for the
next few months. She could do her best to do that. She
closed her eyes in relief as the door closed. It was going
to be a long three months.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆
~07~

At the doctor's office, Meme swallowed as she looked at

the results. It was crystal clear as she pushed back the
envelope to the doctor.
"We want to start treatment immediately. You did know
that somehow because of it being in your family, there
was a possibility of you having it."
Meme nodded. The doctor went on and on as she
started to ask herself if her daughter and niece will suffer
the same fate. Hell, will all the women in her family
suffer the same fate?

Shr had been doing regular screening since the time it

was caught on her mother and the funny thing is that
they found it too late.

"Ms Puso are you listening?"

"Yes. Yes doctor."

He went on and she blinked back tears. They found it

early. She'll live. She told herself. She needed a cold
strong drink but she didn't even have time, tomorrow
she had to go for a work trip out of the country and she
had to leave early. Alone was going to her house today.
Mma Alone just aggravated her and she was not going
to leave Tebogo there with Mma Alone's husband. Even
Alone hated the man and Alone never hated anyone.

***

At Francistown senior, Shawn had his hand around

Alome's shoulder as they walked to the school gate after
their very last exam. He was holding her school nag with
the other hand while his was on his back.
"I'm not going to miss senior school."
He chuckled.
"Freedom?"
"Ng. Gape as much as this uniform is cute, it's
restricting."

He laughed and kissed her head.

"Kamoso ebile ke ya go loga."(tomorrow I'm going to do
my hair)
"Ee mma."
"I got an A star for that last biology paper. Ke batla go
swelela mosadi yole wa Biology. O ntenne gore"(I want
to spite that Biology teacher. She annoyed me so much)
"And you don't even like Biology like that."
"I prefer calculations. I'm not going to be a doctor nna."
When they were out of the school, Alone took a moment
to look at where she had been for the past two years of
her life. Hopefully she and Shawn last.

"A walk later?"

He asked as they started their walk to the taxi rank.
"Yes. I'll be at my aunt's place at around three. Gape I
got my phone back yesterday from my mother. Re ntse
re on ne rra?"(Are we still on?)
"Yes. I can't believe I agreed to this."

She giggled as she wrapped an arm around his torso.

"You never say no to me."

And she was starting to be his only weakness. How will

they survive long distances on different continents? He
wanted to study at Oxford University and she wanted an
Ivy League school. Two different places.

"Gape it seems like mama really loves that man. He

hasn't tried anything funny for the past three months. I
know my aunt would have deaped with it. She says they
are going out for the weekend. My aunt won't be home
starting tomorrow till next week Friday."

Alone smiled at him as he squeezed her shoulders.

"How did you convince your brother?"
"I didn't. He will be ko Palapye, hiw construction
company won a tender there so this weekend the house
will be free."

She grinned. She couldn't wait.

"Foolproof plan "
"Nothing is usually foolproof Lolo."
She shrugged as they continued walking.

***

Hours later, Mma Alone's car stopped by Meme's house.

"Alone, the past three months o ntse o tenegile."(you've
been angry)
"Nyaa mama. I was just focusing on school like you told
me. I accepted gore you'll never believe me at all. You
believed my teacher without proof, it could have been
anyone that she saw. You believed that man when he
said I wanted him. Why would I want him? Ke tlhompha
bagolo."(I respect elders.)

Mma Alone nodded. As the months had passed by, she

had come to realise that she was really in the wrong and
no amount of apologising got to Alone.
"Ya the boyfriend if you had talked to me pele ga o
nshapa, it would be okay. I'm over it. Ya wanting your
husband shocked me. Why would I do that?"

Alone shook her head.

"It happener before the boyfriend issue, that's why you
sent me here. Aunt Meme had politely asked me and I
answered her. Nna mama ga ke itse."

She got out of the car as Mma Alone got out.

"Ngwanaka, I'm sorry."
"Ee mma. I'm over it now."

She opened the boot and took out her two luggage
bags. She started pulling the other one to the house.
Tebogo had closed two days before her. Lucky her.

She put the bag in front of the stoep and went for the
other one.

"Mama, you're still my mother. That will never change

but you hurt me."

She said with a flat tone as she got the other bag and
pulled it to the st stoep as well.
She closed the boot and opened the passenger seat to
get her school bag that had some of her things.

Mma Alone sighed. Her kate husband probably hates

her now. She rubbed her eyes as Alone hugged her.
"Enjoy your trip. Take loads of photos."

She said with a smile and walked away.

"Bye. I'll call."
"Ee mma."

She got inside the car as Alone opened the door and
Tebogo stuck her head out. She waved at Mma Alone
who waved back.

Tebogo helped Alone with the bags and Alone smiled as

they got inside the house and locked the door.
"I have a huge favour to ask."

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~08~
Alone laid on the bed as she scrolled through the
hairstyles. She'll have to go early so she can get the
braids she wanted.

Tebogo on the other hand was deep in thought about

what Alone asked of her. Tebogo was eighteen and she
hadn't even thought of doing that now.
"Wa re how old is he?"
"Seventeen."

She didn't mention that he will be eighteen at the end of

November, besides the month of November just started.
That was the tidbit she kept to herself. So generally
speaking, Shawn was two years older than her.
"I guess it's fine." Tebogo sat up right.
"I'll call if something is wrong and vice versa."
Alone nodded with a smile.
"I owe you one."
"No, you helped me so much with school. Pretty sure
this is nothing."
"Thank youu!"
"Did you convince him?"
Alone laughed.
"He's too sweet for that. I did and I told him multiple of
times that it's what I want and he shouldn't worry about
it."
"Tota ga se gore o forcer konyana ya Modimo?"(Aren't
you forcing the poor boy?)
"Ng ng. We did agree. He was so sweet and had initially
thought varsity would be our chance. It's not like he
doesn't want to. He was being considerate of me."
Tebogo nodded. Where did Alone find a sweet boy like
that? If only her school had sweet people like that.
"You said I'll see him." Tebogo added.

Shawn's call flashed on the screen and she answered

the call as she got out of bed.
"Hey babe…rra? Ee rra. Ke a hetsa."I'm almost done)

She looked at Tebogo as she mimed a 'let's go' at her.

Tebogo got up and slid her feet in her shoes as Alone

talked to the phone while she sprayed the perfume.

Tebogo watched her cousin as she opened her wallet

and took out a twenty pula note to slide it in her jean
pockets.
The call cut and Alone pushed her hair back.
"Let's go. Just to see him and see his place. It's not far
from here. Not that anything will go wrong. Mmamane
wa go tla nako mang?"(when will aunty be back?)
"Around seven. I can go see the place and him then
come back giving you two privacy."
"Okay okay."

They walked out of the room.

A minute later, Tebogo locked the house and followed

Alone out of the yard. Alone spotted Shawn and quickly
walked to him. He hugged her and kissed her head.
"Hey."
"Hi." she looked up at him then turned.
"Shawn, that's my cousin Tebogo and Tebogo meet
Shawn."

Tebogo tucked a loose braid behind her ear as she said

hi. Okay. She understood why Alone was doing what
she was doing for this boy. She really did.
Shawn smiled and nodded before he focused on Alone.
He crouched a bit as Alone talked to him and she
watched.
Does he have a brother? A cousin maybe? Was Alone
aware that at University girls might snatch him away
from him. Tebogo could see the vision, Shawn over here
might get finer and finer over the years and his deep
voice? At this age?

Shawn nodded at what Alone was sayung and Alone

beckoned her cousin to follow them.

Twenty minutes later, Tebogo had gone and left them.

"Lolo, are you sure about this?" Shawn asked, looking at

her face to search for any hesitance but her eyes
sparkled as she nodded.
"I'm sure about this." She was even excited. Many girls
dreaded the moment but she was so excited she could
barely contain herself. He kissed her lips, slowly and
softly as shr let out a content sigh.
He broke the kiss.

"I got something for you. Been saving for it for months."

Her eyes sparkled.

"You did?" He did more for her but he was appreciative
of the little stuff. The past three months she used to get
him airtime, she even had saved up for a cap for him.
Her mother's strict ban had lasted only a month so she
had managed to buy it and gift it to Shawn that Saturday
after their library study sessions.

He took out a little box from his jacket and she eyed it
curiously. It's not a ring. They would crazy to get married
now. If he asked in fivee years to come she would
definitely agree. She would be a girl with a degree and
very happy to be with him.

He opened the box. Her eyes watered as he took out a

locket.
"It has our pictures inside."
She smiled and hugged him.
"Thank you. So so much."
He smiled. He broke the hug.
"Turn around so I can put it around your neck."
"Okay." She turned around. Excited as the cool metal
touched her bare neck and she touched the locket. He
kissed her neck and stepped back. She touched it.
"Thank you."
He nodded and slid his hands in his pockets.

She stepped closer and smiled. They continued their

conversation but every once in a while they would pause
and look at each other with smiles. A sense of serenity
over them and them sharing an occasional kiss before
Alone started talking again.

***

Meme knocked off at work, her mind har been filled with
endless possibilities. Should she tell the family now?

She shook her head as she unlocked her car and got
inside. She held the steering wheel and placed her heae
on it.
Everyone was going to make a fuss and be panicked.
Especially the girls. She can beat this. Breast cancer
wasn't the end of the world even if it took her mother.
She blinked her tears. There was hope for her. She'll be
okay.

She sniffed and couldn't help the sob that escaped her
lips. She cried. All alone in her car, it was days like these
she wished she had a significant other to go home to.
She loved her daughter and niece and the rest of her
siblings children. She loved them but she also wanted to
be loved, held and whispered sweet nothings too.

Mma Alone might be a lot of things and her husband

questionable, very nuch so but she had someone to
keep her warm at night. She didn't even have that. It
made her cry more. She was alone in this battle.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~09~

At Meme’s house, she parked her car and rubbed her

eyes. She looked at her reflection in the mirror to make
sure it didn’t show she was crying. She’ll tell them after
she fully accepted this, she closed her eyes shut and
took deep breaths. She got out of the car and got her
suitcase, her heels replaced by flat shoes as she left
them in the car.

She walked to the door and knocked. Alone opened the

door and she smiled at her niece.
“What time did you come?”
“Around three.”
“And how was your last day as a form five candidate?”
“All I can say is I’m sure of five A stars once the BGCSE
results are out. I’m going to an Ivy League university,
just watch this space. How are you?”
Lolo took her aunt’s bag and she smiled.
“I’m good.”
Tebogo walked out of the kitchen holding a wooden
spoon.
“Hi mama.”
“Hello. What are you making?”
“Pasta and mince. I’m almost done.”
“Do you guys want to watch a movie and then have ice
cream for dessert?”
She needed to distract herself from thinking about it.
Tomorrow she will be on a flight and her cancer is the
only thing that will plague her mind. Her two girls smiled.
“We can even get takeout. What do you think?”
Alone batted her eyelashes.
“Small celebration for being done with high school and
waiting for our results.”
“Fine. Get dressed. Let me leave this bag in the
bedroom.”

Tebogo went to switch off the stove and Alone went to

the bedroom to change shoes and the top.

Meme took a moment to breathe in her room. She

walked to the bathroom and splashed water on her face.
Tears rolled down her cheeks. She should tell them, so
they start getting regular check-ups for cancer too. She
breathed out. She wiped her face before she walked
out.
***

At Shawn's brother, he sat in front of the computer

screen as he did further research on the course he
wanted.

His brother slapped his back.

"Mona! Even after finishing school you're still searching
for school related things?"
"I just want to be sure it's what I want to do. Most of the
teachers at school said I should do medicine but I have
never been interested in it like that."
"Ke a go utlwa. Will you be okay this weekend? Or?"
"I'll be fine. It's not the first time I'll be alone."
"Okay. I have a few beers in the fridge. Don't finish
them."
Shawn laughed.
"I won't."

His brother sat next to him.

"Do you miss them?"
Shawn sighed. He had been eight at the time and his
brother was in University at the time. He had taken it
upon himself to take care of Shawn himself. Oddly
enough both their parents had been orphans and had
met at the orphanage and Kagiso was the only relative
Shawn had. His only family. His brother who was more
like a father figure looking at the fact that he raised him
himself.

"Do you think if it wasn't for me you would have your

own family by now?"
Kagiso leaned back.
"Shawn, if a woman doesn't accept that you're my
responsibility and I won't send you away no matter what,
that isn't the right woman for me."
"But you could be having a wife and kid."
"They'll come in the future, right now it's just us two."
He nodded.
"Kante ne o re that girl you were seeing, what's her
name?"
"Alone, you saw her ka prize giving akere?"
Kagiso chuckled.
"I did. Shawn ka go kopa, when you kids get to
University o ska mo imisa, life is nice when you enjoy it
first without kids."

"You didn't enjoy life because you had to take care of

me?"
"Don't put it like that, life is also unpredictable but you
two are young and should not be worried about the
responsibility of a baby."
"Got it."

***

At Mma Alone's house, she was with her husband. This

trip was what they could use to revive their marriage.
Her husband held her and she shifted to face him.
"I hope this works."
"It will. I'm sorry, I had thought she came onto me when
she didn't."

She shrugged.
"Please believe me. Why would I want a child, maybe it
was me who read too much into it."
"I guess. Let ne sleep."
"Okay."

She faced the other way and he sighed as he stared at

the dark ceiling.

***
At the restaurant, Meme ordered a glass of wine while
the girls ordered juice and their meals.

Meme could see how happy they looked at she took out
her phone so that they can take pictures together. She
should enjoy life, not wallow in her sorrows right?
Besides, she'll tell them after her trip. Once her head
was clear and all.

Alone looked at the pictures.

"They are okay." She smiled. She didn't know if it was
her gut feeling but her aunt didn't seem okay. Or maybe
she was overthinking and it was nothing.

The drinks came first and they toasted.

"To us." Meme said and they twinked their glasses
together with smiles as they said 'to us' in unison.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~10~

Friday came by very fast. Mma Alone looked at the

luggage. It was a weekend getaway ro Maun and she
was hoping for the best. Hoping for her marriage to not
be rocky. After many years of failing at love after her
husband died, she could excuse what happened as a
misunderstanding. She breathed out. That is what it
was.

For the first time in forever, her hair was neatly plaited in
carrot cornrows. Alone had sent the hairstyle and she
had ditched her head wraps. Her husband hugged her
from behind.
"Ready?"
"Yes."
"Let me go start the car."

She smiled as he got their luggage. He was in his white

chinos and a crisp white shirt she had ironed that
morning. He looked good.

She looked at herself in the mirror and took a picture to

send to Alone. Alone replied with a voice message
assuring her it looked good and she was beautiful.

She put the phone in her bag as she took one last look
at the room and she walked out.

***
Alone walked out of the bathroom. She felt all giddy
inside at what was going to happen today. She wore her
new underwear and a nice matching bralette before she
wore her tight denim skirt and her crop top.

"How does it look?"

She asked Tebogo who stopped pressing her phone.
"How about a white top?"
Alone looked at the mirror. Her locket hung on her neck
and she smiled.
"Let me try it."

She removed the top and wore the white one.

"How does it look?"
"Perfect."
"Okay. Let me see if my bag has enough things."
She crouched on the couch and checked her overnight
travel bag. It had the essentials. She was sorted

Tebogo thoughtfully watched her cousin fuss in front of

the mirror trying to style her braids. She admired her
cousin's courage, she had been beaten blue black for
dating and here she was getting ready to spend the
weekend with her boyfriend.
"Tebogo please lock the doorw before you sleep okay?"
"Ye mom."
Alone laughed as she got her bag and called Shawn to
come get her.
"Thank you. If anything comes up, call me. Please."
"I will. We agreed. I'lm cover for you just in case."
"Thanks."

She slid her feet in sandals and walked out as his phone
rang. He answered after s few rings.
"Love."
She blushed.
"Hi. I'm ready."
"Give me ten minutes okay?"
"Okay."

He cut the call and Tebogo walked out.

"Eat first."
"I'm not hungry."
"A scone and juice is still enough."
Alone shook her head.

***
Staying true to his word, Shawn knocked on door.
Alone got up from the couch to open the door. Tebogo
peeked from where she was sitting. Her boyfriend was a
looker, she wasn't about to delude herself that her
cousin's boyfriend wasn't hot.

Tebogo waved at him in greeting and he waved back

before he looked at Alone with a smile.
"Ready?"
"Yes." He walked inside and picked Alone's bag as she
held her phone in hand.
"Tebogo, we'll talk. Bye."
"Bye."

The two walked out and Tebogo pressed her phone as

the door closed.

Shawn smiled at her as she talked his ear off. She was
nervous. It was radiating off her in waves.
He paused and dipped his head to kiss her to shut her
up and she smiled into the kiss.
"O ntse montle."(you're beautiful)
She smiled shyly.
"Thank you."
The continued walking and fifteen minutes later tbey
were at Shawn's place.
He unlocked the door and he stepped aside so that she
can enter. She stepped inside, a bit unsure.
"You're sure you live with your brother?"
He chuckled.
"Yes."
"It's so clean. Ekete le a cleanelwa.."
"Make yourself at home Miss Puso."
She looked around.
"Come see the bedroom first."
She followed him to his bedroom. He puy her bag on the
carpet before he pulled her inside the room.
She looked around. It was so clean and spacious. She
paused as she saw two picture frames by the bedside
table.
"Can I see the pictures?"
He nodded.

She walked to the bed and picked the two picture

frames. The other one was of them, her kissing his
cheek. The other one was of him with his brother and
late parents. If she doesn't marry this boy, her village
people would be the ones to blame.
Shawn wraped his arms around her waist.
"Lolo, you can still change your mind. We don't have to
do anything, you know that right?"
"And who' nervous now?" He chuckled.
"Besides I like the idea that we are going to be each
other's firsts."
"It's going to be quite the experience. What if you don't
climax?"

She shrugged.
"As long as it's you. We'll wing this thing." She looked up
at him and he rubbed her chin.
"I love you."
"I love you more."
"Do you want to eat? Let me show you the rest of the
house."

He took her hand and she followed him around the

house as she showed her the kitchen and how to
connect her phone to the sound system.
"I am a wack cook, you'll have to cook for us."
She said as she removed her shoes and sat on the
couch. One would swear there was a woman around.
This house was spotless.
"I don't mind." His eyes twinkled. She, on the other hand
connected her phone to the sound system.
"What should we do?" Her inquisitive eyes flashed up at
him and he realiser that anything he does with her was
okay. Just being in her company was enough for him.

She went through her song list and played Jhenè Aiko's
Bed Peace before she got up and walked to him.
"We can make food. It's almost noon."

She followed him in the kitchen. He placed her on the

counter then he washed his hands before opening the
fridge.
"You drink?"
He looked down before he gave her a secret smile.
"Occasionally. Kagiso lets me have an occasional bottle
or two."
She nodded. He was cute.

That love is outs to make so we should make it

Everything else can wait
The time is ours to take so we should take it
We should stay right here
We should lay right here
'Cause everything is okay right here

She watched him with puppy love eyes.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~11~

The day passed in a blur of kisses and laughter between

the two. The sun set beautifully in the horizon as the two
stepped out of the house after hours of being in each
other's company.
"We're taking a walk and I have to check on Tebogo."

Alone said as she waited for Shawn to lock the house.

She was nervous. They didn't do anything yet. She had
read online that it might hurt, she hoped it didn't. She
prayed to God it didn't.

He was wearing a baseball jacket and he removed it to

put it on her shoulders.
"I wasn't cold." He shrugged.
"Let's go."
Their walk was unhurried and Alone really wished it was
going to be this way forever.
"Maybe we should go to the same University?"
He chuckled.
"Don't sacrifice your dreams for me love. We will make it
work, one way or another. You want an Ivy League and I
want Oxford.."
She nodded. He was right.
"And being international means we can save up money
to holiday around the world."
He was right in that regard. Come things like Christmas,
they can go out to rent a quiet cottage and enjoy their
time together.
"Do you see a future? For us I mean. I know we are
really young and all.."
"I'd be a liar if I said I don't."
She smiled so easily when he was around so she
couldn't helo but smile.
Shawn looked at her, he couldn't help feeling like she
was going to be the death of him. Somehow but he
loved her and would choose her over everyone.

When they got to the house, Alone knocked on the door.

"Who is it?"
"Alone."
Tebogo unlocked the door and opened it.
"Hi. I was jjst checking on you." They shared a hug.
"I'm okay. Alone it isn't my first time staying alone in the
house, mama always has trips."
"If anything happens, call us. We are a few houses
away." Shawn added and Tebogo nodded with a smile.
He was protective too? Alone hit the boyfriend jackpot.
"Please do. Okay bye then. And lock the door."
"Ee mma."

Alone and Shawn stood by the door as it closed in their

faces and they heard the key turning.
"Now we can go and I can sleep with a clean
conscience."
"Climb on my back."
He crouched down and she did as he said.
"If I'm heavy, put me down."

Tebogo pulled the curtains as she watched them. It was

sweet, so sweet she wished she had a Shawn too. She
closed the curtain.

***
Alone giggled when he put her down once they got to
his place. He locked the door while she walked to the
bedroom. She opened her bag and took out her towel.
She removed her top just as he walked inside. She felt
his eyes on her, burning a hole into her back. She
turned to face him as blush crept on her cheeks.
Intimacy was weird. A weird step in their relationship but
one in the right direction.

"Don't mind me." Her voice came out as a whisper.

She unzipped the skirt and she pulled it down, revealing
her matching underwear and bralette.
"Can I touch you?" Consent. He wanted her go ahead
and she nodded. He walked closer and his arms
wrapped around her bare waist. He kissed her softly at
first, like he was testing the waters before the kiss
turned into something more. He broke the kiss and she
opened her eyes.
"I wanted to take a bath."
"Okay." He rubbed her lips and she smiled.
"You can join me. You're still going to see me naked
either way."
He stepped back as he removed the t-shirt and she
watched him in fascination as he unzipped his jeans and
pulled them down before stepping out of them. She
frowned. Was th-
She swallowed. She removed her bralette and revealed
her still growing breasts before she pulled her panties
down and she shivered. She picked the towel and
wrapped it around herself then her lips parted as he
removed his boxers. No way. He got his white towel on
the bed and wrapped it aroind his waist.
He kissed her.
"It'd okay. Don't panic."
"I-" she blinked. It took her a few seconds to get her
words together.
"I'm not. We learnt about sexual reproduction but seeing
it in real life-I wasn't prepared. Ha go bokete?"(it's not
heavy?)
He laughed and she waited for an answer. She couldn't
imagine herself walking around with a penis.
"No. It's not."
"O sure? Ntsha towel ke bone."(are you sure? Remove
the towel so I can see)
What had he gotten himself into?
He did and she crouched in front of him, really
observing.
"Can I touch?"
He nodded. Her small hands wrapped around his length
and he hissed. She looked up as he grew in her hands.
She didn't remove them and instead she moved them up
and down as he threw his head back.
"Lo-lo….f*ck!" She's never heard him curse before. She
liked it. He was always proper, the smart one and not a
single curse ever left his lips. This was new. She moved
her hands up and down and her thumb brushed over the
tip and he closed his eyes, his body tensing up and she
smiled.
"L-lolo remove your hands love." He grounded out. She
innocently removed them and she watched him try to
visibly relax.

He opened his eyes.

"You're going to kill me one of these days."
"Glad to know I'm your poison." She grinned. She had
read up on these things and book knowledge wasn't the
same as the experience but she loved knowing she
made him feel that way. He wrapped the towel around
himself and he kissed her. He poked her and she
stepped back laughing.
"Shawn, we are only kissing why are y-"
This time she could tell it was him bkushing.
"Just because it's you darling. Only you "
She moved closer.
"So…all these times everytime we kissed you'd get
hard?"
"Unfortunately."
"It's not unfortunate. Let's go take a bath and we'll
discuss that further."
"Ee mma." He pecked her lips.
***

At Maun, Mma Alone packed their clothes. They had a

dinner reservation.

She picked up her phone to let him know she'll be ready

in less than thirty minutes. She called her husband. His
phone rang over and over again with no answer. She
tried not to panic. He said he will be looking around the
lodge they booked in. Why wasn't he answering his
phone?

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~12~

At Maun, Mma Alone tried her husband's number again

and it rang just as he opened the door. Her heart fell in
relief and she looked at him as he rushed past her.
"Let me freshen up." The bathroom door opened and
closed. She stared at it for a few seconds before she
heard the water running. She closed her eyes as she sat
down on the bed. He was here, she should get ready
now. Tears started to well up in her eyes and she blinked
them back. There was nothing to cry about.
***

At Shawn's place, Alone sat on the bed in her towel after

their bath. Now the nerves were kicking in. She was
about to do this, breaking her virginity. She never got the
heart to ask other girls at school how some of them felt
when they broke theirs but she wished she had asked.
Shawn placed the box of condoms by the night stand
and she smiled at him. She could tell he was nervous
but she just wanted it to be him. Whether she ends up
liking sex or not, that was up to debatr after they do the
deed.

Shawn sat next to her and pulled her to him.

"How do you feel?"
"Nervous."
"Same. Alone, I'm asking fot the very last time are you
sure abou this?"
"One hundred percent sure."
He held her jaw and kissed her. She wrapped her arms
around his neck as their kiss intensified. Shawn pulled
her over his lap, his hands sliding under the towel to
hold her waist. Alone' eyes widened as she moaned into
the kiss. She broke it and looked at him.
"That was me?"
He threw his head laughing as he nodded, both of his
hands now under the towel and gently squeezing her
waist. She smiled and lifted her head to kiss him, her
hands moving to his chest and she held onto him. He
turned her so that she was on her back and their eyes
locked. She breathed softly with parted lips and a hand
over his chest. He picked that hand and kissed it. Alone
felt butterflies in her stomach and she smiled at him.
She lifted her head to peck his lips. Once, twice before it
was a full blown kiss and he opened her towel before
they #Explicit.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~12~

#EXPLICIT

Alone felt butterflies in her stomach and she smiled at

him. She lifted her head to peck his lips. Once, twice
before it was a full blown kiss and he opened her towel
before they started to fervently kiss and his hands
skimmed her body. Alone moaned softly in his lips and
he broke the kiss to look at her. She was so beautiful.
Alone smiled at him, her hands on his chest and he
kissed her neck softly, she let him feeling him press onto
her and now thinking about it…
"I can feel how fast your heart is racing, we can stop
here."
"No. It's okay. I'm ready."

He kissed her as his hand found her p*ssy. His fingers

brushed over her clit and Alone's eyes fluttered, a new
sensation she has never felt before. It was more than
the little tingle she felt when she read romance novels. A
little cute sigh left her lips as Shawn slowly slid his finger
inside her small tight p*ssy. The little wet sounds it made
as he started to finger her and her laboured breathing
closing her eyes with nails against his chest.
"Aaawww….shawwwn!"
He watched her pretty face contort and he was taken by
her. He cursed under his breath and he went fast and
she couldn't control her reactions. Her back arched as
sbe scratched his chest with blunt nails while his thumb
brushed over her clit and Alone panted. She didn't know-

She cried out his name softly, grabbing him. He

removed his hand and she held onto him. Her little
moans making him harder than he has ever been.
It took a few minutes for her to open her teary eyes and
a blush covered her face as he gazed at her like she
was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.

He pecked her lips and he moved back. She smiled as

he got the box of condoms and she got one from the
box.
"Let me do it."

He watched her as she tore the condom packet and took

it out. Alone looked up at him before she looker at his
d*ck. Was he going to fit? Regardless of the fact that
women gave birth to babies but this…she rolled it over
his length, looking at the veins and his already swollen
circumcised head. She placed her hands on her pelvis
as the condom fit on his d*ck and she kissed him. Slowly
at first, before he laid her back down. At least they were
both clueless.
"If it hurts let me know, okay angel?"
She nodded as their eyes stayed glued to each other.
Shawn found her wet p*ssy and he held her waist as he
tried to penetrate her.
Alone winced, this might not be possible right?
He kissed her before whispering against her neck.
"Relax okay? I'll try my best not to hurt you." She
nodded and he moved his hips back before he drove
into her, breaking the barrier and Alone hit his chest.
She felt stretched and it was so painful. Tears rolled
doen her cheeks.
"Shawn!! Ntsha!"(remove)
He kissed her tears away.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She held his shoulder as he
groaned. F*ck! It felt good being inside her.
He slid out, the condom coming out with traces of blood
on it and she looked at him tearfully. He kissed her again
and slid back in. Alone stretched, wincing in pain as he
stopped. He was hurting her. F*ck!
"If it continues hurting tell me okay?"
She bit her lower lip and nodded. She had to be a brave
girl. She was the forward one in this relationship of
theirs.

She moaned in pain at first when he thrust in and out of

her before it slowly became pleasurable. Her tears dried
up as she wrapped her arms around his neck and he
groaned in her ear. She closed her eyes, pleasure
building up. Shawn sucked on her collarbone as she
clamped him. And he had never had sex before? He
was glad she convinced him because this-he started
moving faster as her moans rose and his name was on
her lips.

Alone gasped for air, trying to stop the little heady

sensation but she couldn't. She closed her eyes and
cried into his chest while her body froze momentarily,
trying to process the pleasure.

She heard him curse before he laid his head in between

her adolescent chest.
Minutes later, she opened her eyes and rubbed his
head. He looked up at her and kissed her. He got iut of
bed to go dispose of the condom before he joined her in
bed. He kissed her and parted legs, Alone let him,
content with whatever he was doing. She let out a soft
moan.

***

At Maun, Mma Alone and her husband sat down in the

lodge restaurant and she swallowed as she watched his
eyes wonder to the pretty waitress who was serving
other people.
"Are you listening?"
He turned to her and flashed a smile but it only hurt her
heart when she couldn't see the genuineness of the
smile.
"I am. You were talking about kids."
"Y-yes. Starting a family would be nice and good for us."
She said. She also missed having a young child to
dedicate her time to. Alone will be going to University
soon and she will need a baby to fend off the loneliness
and give her a sense of purpose.
Her eyes watered and she blinked a couple of times.
He held her hand.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah." He rubbed it and she looked down to try and
breath.
"Okay. You were talking about a baby?"
"Yes u-"

A waitress came to their table to take their order and his

eyes were now glued on the waitress. She removed her
hand from his grasp. This trip was a mistake.

Her husband looked at her as she got up from the table,

excusing herself. The waitress was perplexed as the
man apologised and followed his wife. She sighed and
moved on to another table that had been unattended.

Mma Alone picked up her pace but he caught up to her

and held her wrist.
“What’s wrong?”
“I lost my appetite.”
That wasn’t the reason and she lifted her eyes up at
him.
“You don’t love me do you?”
She had been in this bubble thinking he loved her. She
was grasping onto straws with this marriage and luckily
for her it was out of community of property. He thought
she was going to take his money and she laughed
tearfully. What property when he lived in the house her
deceased husband bought? She even bought him the
car he was using and-

Her throat closed up as tears rolled down her cheek.

"Why did you marry me if you don't love me?" She
asked and he opened his mouth and closed it like a fish.
That was the answer she needed. She should go home.
There should be an evening bus she could take to go to
Francistown. He will come back on his own.

She removed her hand from his and she ran to their
room. He still followed her there.

When she got to the room, she just packed her clothes
back into the suitcase and got her handbag, the door
opened.
"Wait, let's talk about this."
"There is nothing to talk about."

He closed the door and locked it.

"We are going to talk. You are jumping to conclusions…"
"I'm not."

From thereon it built up to a full blown fight that lasted

more than an hour and it had included Mma alone
hurling insults at him. She had chosen him over her
daughter, chosen to believe him and he does this? To
her? It hurt more that he had been doing this under her
nose. She was never going to be enough and it would
have been better if she had remained single.

***

The following morning, at Maun Mma alone and her

husband checked out of the hotel. They weren't on
speaking terms and the seven hour drive back to
Francistown was going to be a tense one. She just
wanted to go home.

***

At Shawn's place, Alone woke up to find the bed empty.

Yesterday was…She bit her lip as she had flashbacks of
what they did last night. She sat upright on the bed, her
soreness making her wince a bit as she pulled the
blanket up to her chest.
The door opened and she smiled at him as he walked in
with a tray and shirtless.
"Morning." Her voice was a bit hoarse as she gazed at
him.
"It's almost lunchtime."
She frowned cutely, replying with a diminutive "oh."
He placed the tray on her lap and kissed her lips softly.
She liked this…scratch that, she loved this and they had
this for the whole of this weekend. She was only leaving
on Sunday and would she sneak out once the adults
returned? Yes.

"How are you feeling?" His hands ran through her braids
and he held the back of her head to make her look at
him.
"Okay."
"Are you sure?" He searched her eyes looking for any
hint of pain.
"I'm only a bit sore but it's nothing compared to period
pains so I'll live."
He kissed her again and she wrapped her hands around
his neck. She moved her head back.
"I loved it."
"Our first time?" She grinned. Their first time. They were
each other's firsts and although she went in with zero
expectations she did get more than what she bargained
for. It wasn't that serious and they laughed while doing
some things as he learnt her body and she his. A win.
"Yes. Now you have to promise that you won't find a
white girl go kwa ko Oxford, nka go betsa gore
Shawn."(I'll beat you)
"O bogale yang. I swear on my life"(You're aggressive)
"Good. I swear too. Let me eat and then take a shower"
"You'll join me for a movie once you're done? I want to
clean first"
She nodded as he kissed her head before he got up.

***

Tebogo who was alone in the house, laid on the bed as

she played a movie on her laptop. Alone was coming
tomorrow, she was probably going to check on her
around six.

She sighed as she dipped her hand in the bowl of

popcorn as the movie started picking up.

***

Mma Alone, who had arrived at earlier, sat on the bed.

Her husband had tried to convince her but it had
dawned on her that she had made a mistake. She
breathed out.

Three hours later, she needed something to do. Some

company. The girls were alone maybe she could go buy
food and it was almost eight pm. They could eat and just
talk and she repairs her relationship with Alone. The
past three months it had strained so much.

With her mind made up, she picked her car keys. She
walked out of the house and locked it before she walked
to the car. Typical of her husband. His car was gone.
She sighed.

***

At Meme's house, Tebogo heard thr gate open and she

froze. Only momentarily as she tip toed to the curtain.
She pushed it back and her heart started racing. That
was….sh*t!

She quickly walked to the bedroom and she tried to call

Alone. Sh*t! Sh*t!

She bit her lower lip as it rang unanswered.

"Alone f*cking answer the phone." Frustrated, Tebogo
paced the room and like clockwork, there was a knock
on the door.

"Ko ko! Alone? Tebogo? It's me. Open."

Tebogo hit the phone against her palm as she tried
Alone's number but it just rang unanswered.

"Girls? Open the door."

Tebogo still tried calling Alone. If she doesn't answer the

door, she'll call her mom and she'll be in trouble.
Besides the lights are on.
"Sh*t!"

***

Meanwhile at Shawn's place, Alone moaned under him.

Her phone in the sittung room ringing with a low
ringtone. Her blunt nails scratched his back as he
breathed against her neck.

***

At Meme's place, Tebogo had given up and she went to

open the door. Alone is asleep. She practiced in her
head. Yes. Alone is asleep. She even covered the big
teddy bear from her mother's room with the blanket tk
make it seem as if Alone was asleep. Her cousin owed
her. Big time.
"Dumelang."
Mma Alone smiled.
"Le diegile jang, Alone o kae? I brought food."(you guys
took your time. Where is Alone?)
"O robetse."(she's asleep)

Mma Alone frowned. Alone never slept early. It was still

nine o'clock. She was usually up till midnight, her head
in a book or something.
"Let me come in."

Tebogo stepped aside, praying to God that she didn't go

to the bedroom.

Mma Alone walked to the kitchen and placed the

takeaway bag on the counter. She did know their room.
Maybe she was asleep and she was just
being…difficult? She was just all over the place.

Tebogo followed her as she walked to the bedroom.

"Ga le boihi?"(you're not afraid?)
"Not at all. As long as we lock the doors then we're
good. Gape there is this neighbourhood watch thing so I
doubt anything can h-"
She froze as she walked closer to the bed.
"Lolo? Alone?"

Tebogo's heart literally beat like a drum in her chest as

Mma Alone opened the blankets.
"Alo-"

Mma Alone wore a confused look. That wasn't Alone.

She squeezed the blanket and breathed to three before
she dropoed it and faced Tebogo.
"Alone o kae?"(where is Alone?)
"Uhm…ga-ga ke-ke itse mma Malome."(I don't know)
"Tebogo, where is Alone?"
She shook her head.
"Ga ke itse."
Mma Alone rubbed her temples. She took out her
phone.
"When last did you see her?"
"In the m-morning…she said-uh she said she is going t-
to town."
"She hasn't been home till morning? O sure?"

She nodded, her hand over her heart to control her

heart beat.
"Sure sure?"
Tebogo nodded again.
"Let me call the police to open a missing person's case.
Why didn't you call? Tell us?"

She dialled the police toll nunber and decided against it.
Kutlwano Police was in block 4, she can be there is less
than ten minutes. She turned on her heel and started to
walk out of the room

Tebogo felt the bead of sweat form on her brow.

Involving the police means more people and-her body
shook as she looked at her uncle's widow.
"Mma M-Malome?"

Mma Alone paused and looked at Tebogo, waiting for

her to speak, there was no time to waste.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~13~

"Tebogo?"
"Ma?"

Tebogo licked her lips as her heart pounded.

"I-I know where Alone i-is."
Mma Alone fully turned as she held her hip.
"You know? You've been lying to me all this time?"

Tebogo held back tears. What if she slaps her? She

didn't forget the horrible whip lashes she saw on Alone's
legs months ago and how Alone used to say her mother
would beat her.
"L-le ska mpetsa."(don't beat me) her voice came out as
a whisper and Mma Alone closed her eyes for a second.
"I won't. Where is she?"

Tebogo stepped back and slid on her shoes.

"I can go show you."
Mma Alone eyed Tebogo skeptically but she nodded.
"I'll be in the car."
Tebogo nodded as Mma Alone walked out and she
placed her hand on her chest the minute she was out of
sight and was breathing loudly.

She wore her shoes and tried to call Alone again but it
wasn't being answered. She quickly typed a message
and sent it to Alone before she walked out. She locked
the door.
She walked to the car and sat in the back.

Mma Alone started the car and she took a good look at
Tebogo before she reversed.
"You better be telling the truth."
"I swear."

Tebogo hoper Alone saw the message and decided to

hide or something.

Mma Alone joined the road.

"Alone o nale mang?"(who is she with?)
"Ma?"
"Ka re Alone o nale mang?" She shouted at her and
Tebogo held back tears. Her mother was never this
quick to anger.

Tebogo sniffed and Mma Alone looked at her through

the rearview mirror.
"Nkarabe. I asked a simple question."
"I don't know. She j-just said she'll be there."

She looked down and then looked at where they were.

"The fourth street from ours." She whispered with a
cracked voice.

***

At Shawn's place, Alone drew circles on Shawn's chest.

She was really content with him here. She hated that
she had to go back home tomorrow but she had no
choice.
"I love you okay?" He kissed her lips and she kissed him
back. She was so tired and wanted to cuddle with him.

It was Alone who heard the gate open and she looked at
Shawn.
"Is your brother supposed to be home?" she sat upright
and pulled the sheets to her chest.
"No. Let me check, stay here okay?"
He got out of bed and picked his boxers and jeans. He
wore them.
"I'll be right back, maybe ke batho ba neighbourhood
watch."

He walked out and she looked around what she could

pick to hit in case it was thieves wanting to rob him.
Mma Alone walked to the door with Tebogo following
her. She looked around the yard. It was really clean. She
knocked on the door.

Shawn stopped at the door.

"Who is it?"

Mma Alone poked at Tebogo to answer.

"Tebogo."
"Jesus! It's late and you shouldn't be walking around at
this time of the night."

Shawn unlocked the door. Alone would never forgive

herself if anything happened to her cousin.
"Kana yo-"
He froze as he opened the door only to be met by Mma
Alone. Mma Alone looked at the boy from head to toe,
her anger starting to boil.

Shawn couldn't calculate how fast it happened but the

slap rang and his cheek became hot as his hand
instinctively went to his burning cheek. It made his left
ear echo and the woman was fuming.
"Alone o kae? Hee?"
He moved his head, trying not to let tgr slap get to him.
Tebogo was watching this with shock. What the hell was
wrong with this woman and violence? At that moment,
she felt sorry for Shawn because Alone suggested this
and he was a sweet boy. Alone knew the kind of mother
she had and-

This was a mess.

"Hee? Ka re Alone o kae mosimanyana? Kana ke

leletse mapodise?"(Where is Alone little boy? Or should
I call the police?)

Shawn shook his head as he stepped away from the

door. The police being here might mean he kisses his
opportunities goodbye and he didn't even defile her.
F*ck!

She walked inside the house as if she owned it and

Tebogo followed. She looked around at the clean house.
It was so clean. She spotted Alone's phone on the couch
and then looked at Shawn who was noy wearing
anything on top. So they might have been in the middle
of…oh…"
Alone had heard the familiar voice ane she couldn't
even be fast enough as the door opened while she was
trying to find pants and a top.

She came face to face with her mother and she closed
her eyes, preparing herself mentally for the beating of a
lifetime.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~14~

Alone's mother grabbed her by the arm.

"Wena Alone!!"

Alone looked at her mother, knowing her fate. Mma

Alone wasn't stupid as she looked around. The room
reeked of sex and Alone was practically naked. She
laughed in disbelief as her grip tightened on Alone's arm
making Alone wince in pain.
"And you denied ever dating? O bona sematla ga o
ntibile Alone?"(Do you see a fool when you look at me?)
"Nyaa mma." Her voice came out so low and Mma Alone
fumed even more looking at Alone. She had practically
lied and she had thought they were going somewhere.
Meanwhile in the lounge, Tebogo moved closer to
Shawn.
"Are you okay? Do you need ice?"
"No, I'm fine."
He rubbed his face, his cheek still burning. Tebogo
looked at him and she licked her lips. Shawn frowned
but even in pain he knew that look. He stepped back,
hoping he was seeing things but then Tebogo started
talking.
"I'm sorry you are going through this because of Alone."
He removed his hand from his cheek. He looked at the
passage. Regardless of that ear deafening slap, he
didn't love Alone any less even if her mother was…he
couldn't find the exact words to describe the woman in
this particular moment.
"I'll be fine."
Tebogo nodded at that answer.
"Are you sure you don't need ice for your cheek? That
was one hell of a slap."
Shawn chuckled and finally dropped his hand.
"No.Thank you though."

Tebogo nodded. His cheek was starting to bruise, he

was the perfect kind of dark skin, the ones who get
lighter in winter and darker in summer even though her
cousin was almost three shades lighter than him.
Tebogo herself was light skin and Alone had a caramel
complexion. Was he into lightskins?

In the bedroom, Mma Alone let Alone go pushing her

back to the point of Alone falling on the floor.
"Apara re tsamaye."(get dressed so we can go)

She walked out and Alone blinked back tears. She

breathed out, trying to calm herself down.

Mma Alone passed Shawn.

"O bona wena? I'm going to report you for defilement."
Shawn breathed out.
"Where are your parents? They need to know you defile
underage girls. Eleore why would you sleep with a
sixteen year old? Ga o itse gore motho yoo ke ngwana?
Ke bua nao!"(don't you know she is still a child? I'm
talking to you!)

Shawn looked at the couch and picked his phone. He

didn't want to aggravate this woman some more. He
closed his eyes. Not a police report. He was still
underage himself.

"Ke bua nao? Ga o nkarabe?"(I'm talking to you. Why

aren't you answering me?)
"I know."
"And you defiled her"

Alone was in the sitting room a minute after her mother

left and she arrived to such a scene. She looked at
Shawn. She got this sweet boy in trouble an-her chest
heaved. In this whole equation, she wasn't worried
about herself but only Shawn. She didn't regret what
they did though if her mother thought she was going to
regret that.
"Alone, go to the car with your bags. Wa tena
waitse."(you're annoying)

She smacked Alone's head and Shawn. Tebogo looked

down.
"Even you Tebogo." Tebogo picked Alone's phone on the
couch.

Tebogo quickly followed Alone.

"I'm not leaving until your parents show up."
Shawn could tell she was serious.
"And if you dare run, the police will find you. I'm just
outside."

She walked out and Shawn closed his eyes as he got

his phone and called his brother.
It rang a couple of times.
"Hello? It's late.."
Shawn covered his face as he sat down in the couch.
Did he regret breaking his virginity? No. Being caught
though was not so nice and it was turning out to be
something much bigger.
"I know. Something happened. It's an emergency, can
you come back home?"
"Shawn? What happened?"
"I got myself in trouble."
"How? You're the most disciplined kid I know, you're not
telling me everything."
"Sh*t, Kagiso you're going to lose your faith in me b-
but…"
"You curse? Banna…bua." Kagiso's voice was filled with
grave concern as he got out of bed. Sunday he can
drive back to Palapye if Shawn needed him back that
much.

Shawn breathed in and out.

"Alone's mother is threatening to open a case against
me."

There was silence. The seconds felt like years.

"Shawn?"
"Rra?"
"You-Shawn?"
"Rra?"
His adam's apple bobbed as he stared at the ceiling, his
heart beating more than it did when he received that
slap.
"I'm on my way o tle o ntlhalosetse sentle."
"Ee rra."

Outside, the girls were in the back of the car as Mma

Alone stood by the corner of the house talking to the
phone.

"So Alone was not home when you came. She had sex
with a boy?"
Meme asked, trying to keep up while nursing her
headache after a long meeting in London.
"Yes. I should have never dropped her at your house,
none of this would have happened. She was okay with
me."
"Batho ba Modimo Jacqueline yaanong it's my fault?"
"You shouldn't have let them stay alone."
On the other end of the line, Meme rolled her lies. This
woman and trying to blame anyone.
"If you called me to blame me, hang up. If you talked to
Alone like she is a human being maybe you wouldn't be
in this predicament. Tebogo? She told me when she
wants to have sex and we have had the sex talk since
she was 15. Sje knows my stand on the issue, akere
wena o nna o bogolela Alone ekete ene ga se motho no
wonder she hides things from you."
"Now it's my fault? My parenting is perfectly fine."
Meme laughed.
"Fine? When you believed a man over your own child?
Chose a man over your child? I won't let that issue go
because Alone ke ngwana wa nkgonne."
"At least I have a man."
"At least I don't put anyone above my daughter and put
her life in danger by letting her stay with a man who
falsely accused her of wanting him. Nkampa ka na ke
sena monna ee Jacqueline! Akere ga ke desperate for
nyalo."

Mma Alone closed her eyes, tears filling her eyes.

"So you're happy that Alone did this?"
"No. It happened and it should be resolved amicably.
Don't think I didn't see those lashes on her legs and
even when she was growing up when I saw whip lashes
on her, I know that to her she is used to being beaten to
the point of near death. Have you though that maybe
her rebellion stems from that? She can't talk to you
sometimes about some things without you losing your
temper on her? Hmm? Legale, the ball is in your court
kana gatweng, your reaction and approach to this might
do or break your relationship with your daughter."

Meme cut the the call.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~15~

Inside the car, Tebogo clapped her hands.

"I hope you're not angry at me for telling your mother.
She threatened going to the police ke ha ke panic'er."(I
panicked)
"No. I should have my phone with me."

She opened her bag and took out her asthma pump.
After a few pumps she smiled at Tebogo.
"And I don't regret breaking my virginity. Mama has beat
me once to the point of almost meeting my father so.."
She shrugged and Tebogo wondered how Alone could
rebel when she had such a strict mother.
"The only reason I'll ask for forgiveness and everything
is because of Shawn. He doesn't deserve my mother's
wrath. And sorry if she somehow lashed at you autwe?"
Tebogo nodded
"How was it?" Tebogo nodded.
"I loved it. That's all I'm going to say."
"I want details Alone."
"Ng ng. That's between Shawn and I. That was our
special moment." She grinned as she pushed her braids
back.

Tebogo's phone rang and she looked at her mother

calling.
"Mama wa letsa."(mom is calling) Tebogo whispered.
"Answer."

Tebogo breathed in before she answered.

"Hello mama."
"Is Alone with you?"
"Hello mmamane."
"Alone bathong!" Alone winced with a smile.
"How is London? I know someone who wants to go
there."
Meme laughed and Alone chuckled.
"Alone, we have a serious matter to discuss. You staying
out, you know you are underage. Why didn't you tell
me? What about teenage pregnancy? Hiv status? Sti's?
Alone it's more than just sex."
"Ee mma. I swear on my dad's grave, we used
protection throughout. All I can do is pray I'm not
pregnant. I was scared of going to test alone, they were
going to ask a lot of questions."
Tebogo gasped and Meme groaned.
"Alone!"
"Sorry. I can't be pregnant, I used book knowledge and
counted the safe period thing…"
Meme shook her head at the other end of the line. Her
niece was unbelievable.
"Tomorrow go get morning afters in my room, I'll tell you
the drawer where to find them or better yet when you get
home now. When I get back we are going to have a
serious talk. For this stunt pulled, wena Tebogo for being
an accomplice you are not getting your allowance for the
next three months, wena Alone you are not getting that
iPad I promised you and your allowance will be cut for
the next six months."
"Ee mma."
"Good. And when you get home, take those morning
afters. I'm still too young for babies and you have your
future way ahead of you."
"Aren't you angry?" Alone asked as she looked out the
window at her mother who was outside.
"No. Just disappointed. You could have told me to at
least broach the topic to your mother and we could have
advised you better. You are a bright child Alone, you
know that."
"Yes. I'm still putting my future first."
"Another question, is he over eighteen?"
"No. He was my schoolmate."
"Ke ene yo ne o mmeletswe a few months back?"(the
one you were beaten over a few months back?)
"Ee mma."
"Yoh! Bye guys. I love you girls and Alone don't forget to
call when you get home so I can tell you where the pills
are."
"Ee mma."

Meme cut the call. Tebogo looked at Alone.

"Once you get dollars as an allowance, you're paying
me back."
"Tebza? Ao cuzzy? Don't do that to me."
Tebogo rolled her eyes laughing and Alone laughed too.
She texted Shawn whilst in the car.

2 hours later

Kagiso parked his car outside, noticing the parked car

outside the gate. He drove this late for Shawn.and he
had been having multiple scenarios play over his head
the whole drive back.

Shawn's phone rang just as Alone's message reported.

"Hello."
"I'm outside, you'll explain in the house."

The call cut and he swallowed.

Kagiso got out of his car just as Mma Alone got out of
the car. He walked inside the yard and Mma Alone
walked out to him. She didn't expect a good looking man
who looked like he was almost in his late thirties to be
here.
"Hello."
Kagiso greeted her.
"Kana there is a situation, with the two kids."
"Let me talk to Shawn first."
She nodded and watched him walk into the house.

Inside the house, Kagiso closed the door and looked at

Shawn.
"Start talking."

Shawn looked around and then back at his hrother.

"I'm waiting."

Shawn took a deep breath and told his brother what led
to the situation they were in right now.

Kagiso looked at his brother before he laughed. He

wanted to be angry but he should since he was
parenting his brother but that was teenagers. He himself
had been a little rebel and their parents were at their
wits end with him.
"I know we had the sex talk and all but you snuck a girl
into the house?"
"Yes."
Kagiso chuckled.
"She slapped you? That was unacceptable, that was
assault but I'll let it slide unless she threatens with
defilement."
"She did. I didn't defile Lolo, we're both underage."
"And le thalehetse dilo di sele."(and you are doing things
that are not for your age)

He shamefully looked down.

"Let me call them so we can talk about this. I'm proud
that despite all this, you user protection."

Shawn nodded as Kagiso walked out.

A minute later, Lolo and her mother walked in following

Shawn's brother.

They sat down.

"We find ourselves in a predicament, ha go bonolo but it
happened."

Mma Alone had to mask her anger. She wouldn't even

be here if Alone wasn't so forward.
"This issue is straightforward, I'm going to the police
station to report for defilement. Gone jaana I'm taking
her to the hospital for samples ya rape kit."

Kagiso laughed in astonishment.

"Did you even ask him for his age?"
"He looks over eighteen."
"He is a seventeen year old boy, ha gona case ya
defilement ya sepe."(there is no defilement case)

Mma Alone looked at Alone.

"She is still underage and she shouldn't be doing this.
Tell your son to stay away from my daughter or else ke a
go bula casr ya rape."(I'm going to open a rape case)

Alone's jaw dropped as her eyes welled with tears. She

looked at Shawn, her eyes screaming of apologies. She
couldn't do that could she?
"Ebile I'm going to the police, he might have coerced her
and that is a crime, he is still older than her. Alone is a
child and what she says shouldn't be taken seriously."

Kagiso scoffed. This woman was…

"Okay, he'll stay away. Fine." Kagiso said with finality
and looked at Shawn who nodded.
"Good."

Mma Alone roughly grabbed Alone's hand and dragged

her outside before she closed the door.
"Mama you can't do that! He didn't rape me. I asked
him."
A loud slap echoed in the night as Alone staggered
back.
"You are a child! What do you know about sex? Kana ke
tlo sa ntse ke go shimega Alone."(I'm still going to beat
you)
Alone's tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Beat me but don't ruin his life, ka go rapela."(I'm
begging you)

Her mother's chest rose and dropped. She was putting a

boy first?
"And your future? Ga ke batle dirathana mo game
nna."(I don't want fatherless children in my house)

Alone's tears still rolled down as Tebogo watched from

the car and another slap landed on Alone. Her own eyes
welled with tears.
Mma Alone pulled Alone to her.
"Call him right now, maybe if I say it he won't listen."
"Mama-please!"

Alone cried, snort and all as she practically begged on

her knees.
"Ka go rapela mama."(I am begging you mama)
"Call him. Tell him that if he dares come near you, there
is going to be rape and whaf you guys did was rape."

Alone looked at her mother. Pleading in the quiet night

but she didn't move.
"Alone, I can still do that and he goes to jail. Is that what
you want?"

She shook her head as she got up and took out her
phone. She sobbed as she called him. His phone rang.

In Kagiso's bedroom, Shawn looked at his phone

ringing.
"Who is that?" Kagiso asked.
"Alone."
"Answer, tsenya mo loudspeaker"(put it on loudspeaker)

He answered
"Hello." He put it on loudspeaker.
"Shawn uhm what happened between us was a
mistake."
Shawn closed his eyes painfully.
"Please stay..stay away from me."her voice shook.
"Lolo-"
"Please. It felt like rape and if you don't stay away I'm
going to the police to report y-you." She sniffed.
"Alone-"
"Shawn please stay away from me. Please! Delete my
number and don't contact me. Ever again. Ka go kopa."

Shawn's eyes welled with tears as he bit his lip. The call
cut and Kagiso looked at his brother.
"I'm sorry." He squeezed his shoulder and Shawn stood
there, not sure how to process all that.
"It's a lesson my boy. Focus on you and forget
temptation. You can't have her and le ene she no longer
wants you, you'll be okay."

Outside, Alone looked at her mother. The tears didn't

stop.
"I hate you. I-I hate you so so much."

Her voice filled with anguish and anger as she looked at

her mother.
.
.
.
TEN YEARS LATER
𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~16~

Ten years later…

The black cars adorned with pink ribbons parked right

outside the cemetery. Alone took a moment to gather
her thoughts and tried not to ruin her mascara with the
tears but her throat constricted and she held onto the
steering wheel.

Her phone vibrated on the passenger seat and she

looked at the caller ID. She cut the call, that insecure
man was annoying her so much and this was not the
time.

She started to count to ten then leaned back, letting go

of the steering wheel as more people got out of her cars.
A sob broke out from her lips and she covered her
mouth fighting the tears. A week later and she still
couldn't believe it. Her phone vibrated again and she
picked it up. This time it was Tebogo calling.
"Hello…..I'm here. Ke a tswa mo koloing."(I'm getting out
of the car)
She cut the call and placed her bag in her lap.
"Lord, give me strength."
She closed her eyes for a minute. She should probably
hold her asthma pump close.
She put her phone in the bag and stepped out in a black
maxi dress, sandals and a pink head wrap, her weave
an inch over her butt.

She walked to the tents, heart heavy with every step.

She caught up to Tebogo who was holding her fiancè's
hand. He was supporting her, he supported her this
whole year and it was beautiful. Tebogo turned to look at
her, big shades covering her eyes.
"You look like hell." Tebogo said dryly and Alone
chuckled.
"I feel like it. Are you ready?"
"Is someone every ready for things like this?" The tears
rolled down Tebogo's cheeks and Alone hugged her
cousin whilst holding back her own tears.
"You should be happy she got to see your patlo and
magadi."
"She wanted to be at the white wedding so bad."
Alone rapidly blinked back the tears.
"She'll be watching over you."
"She wanted to see you get married too."
Alone broke the hug and laughed. But it was the laugh
that lacked life and it was dry as finally the tears rolled
down her cheeks but she wiped them off as quickly as
they fell.
"Not everyone gets married, Tebogo. You said that
yourself years ago. Marriage is not for people like me."
Alone smiled with a broken heart. You could see it in her
eyes and on some days she hid it so well but today, with
emotions high it was visible to anyone with eyes to see.
"You still love him." Tebogo's eyes were filled with pity as
she looked at her young cousin.
Alone's hand went to the locket and she quickly let go.
"Uhm, let's go before they start."

Tebogo held her fiancè's hand. He squeezed it tight and

she smiled at him as he used his other hand to removed
her shades and rub her tears away.

They walked to the tent where people were sitting. Their

uncles and other aunts and family were in attendance as
well as her close friends and co-workers. Everyone
looked grim but they tried to smile but it was so hard.

Alone spotted her mother and she smiled at her before

she sat down. Her phone vibrated in her bag and she
looked around before she took it out.
"Hello."
She whispered.
"Did I catch you at a bad time Ms Puso?"
"Kind of, what is it?"
"Your lab results are back."
Alone kept quiet.
"I can pass by on Monday."
"Good. Have a wonderful day."
"You too."

She hung up and looked around, putting her phone in

her bag. They all stood up as they started singing
hymns. She moved her head side to side, replaying all
the memories she had with her.

She didn't even notice she was crying until one of her
cousins handed her a handkerchief. She emotionally
took it as she rubbed her eyes. She picked her bag and
took out the wipe, wiping away the mascara. Did she
think applying mascara was going to make the tears
stop?

She continued singing the hymns till they were asked to

sit down and the pastor started preaching. It was like
she was ten again, smart enough to know that her
daddy was no more and the pastor went on and on
about the cycle of life. Two and a half decades later she
was here again, losing another loved one. Only this
time, she was older and the hurt came tenfold. She
covered her mouth with the back of her hand as it
wobbled and she looked down.

In the same row, Tebogo silently cried on her man's

shoulder. He comforted her while Mma Alone watched
her daughter break down in the front row, she wished
she could comfort her but Alone has since withdrawn
from her ever since she went to University. Tears filled
her eyes as she recalled Meme's words and everything.
She had fought this battle. Brave and strong. She licked
her lips and rubbed her own tears.

It didn't take long for sniffles and silent cries to be heard

in the tent.

"Some of Meme's relatives and friends have prepared

speeches."

Meme's older brother started then followed by her older

sister and colleagues and friends. After those ones,
Alone was called up to speak. Alone rubbed her eyes,
smiling tearfully as she held the asthma pump in one
hand.
"Uhm hi.." she rubbed her tear stained cheeks, forcing a
smile on her face. People chuckled but you could tell
that their hearts were heavy too.
"Aunt Meme, kana I used to complain when I went there
because she will go on and on about how I can't cook
proper food."

Tebogo smiled as she wiped her tears with her scarf.

"But I loved her. I still do. I think it doesn't matter how

many pure and genuine people you lose in your life,
things like these still hurt so much. We were prepared.
We knew her time on earth was limited. At some point
we thought we won and she was going to be fine b-but.."
She took a moment to breath and she wiped her tears
away.
"But death robbed us of her. My aunt was so many
things and I hope where she is, she is reunited with her
brother and she is happy, looking after us here on earth.
There is so much I want to say but I can't find the words
to-to.." she put her asthma pump over her mouth and
Tebogo stood up to hug her cousin.

Tebogo held her own tears as she started speaking.

"As my cousin just said, mom was everything and
more.." her voice trembled as she held Alone tight.
"She was my confidant. My best friend after Alone."
Alone lifted her head as she smiled and she wiped her
tears.
"She was so strong and I remember the day she told us
that the lump they found was cancer. She had thought
the gene escaped her but there was no such l-luck. The
cancer treatment journey was the most testing time of
our lives. As a family. God, she was so so strong."

The big fat tears spilled over.

"She wanted us to be happy. Her last words were words
of affirmation, I watched her wither before my eyes. I
saw her soul leave her body.Go botlhoko!"

She dropped her head, unable to stop the tremors and

the tears that fell like rain.

Silence filled the cemetery as Tebogo and Alone were

ushered away

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~17~

Tebogo and Alone watched as the rest of the attendees

threw the soil into the grave after they did. Alone's hand
squeezed the asthma pump. She should be strong.
They all watched with teary eyes as the lowered coffin
was being covered. Tebogo's tears rolled down her
eyes, she should have cremated her so she can hold the
vase of ashes. Her lips trembled as the grave was fully
covered. The pastpr started talking but she wasn't really
listening. Sbe was going to miss her mother's laugh. Her
food. Everything.

She closed her eyes as her fiancè held her.

"Let's go."
She followed him and she rubbed her tears away,
noticing how alone Alone looked.

Alone rubbed her tears and started walking too.

Following the people out. It was done. The next time she
was going to be here was for the tomb unveiling
because she didn't trust herself to be here all alone and
allow her tears to suffocate her.

Mma Alone caught up to Alone.

"It's okay to talk to someone."
Alone nodded as she put some distance between them.
"Do you want to come over?"
"I'm busy, I have a deadline at work and taking time off
put me behind on it. Maybe next time."
Mma Alone sadly watched her daughter walk away from
her and she rubbed her eyes. Tears threatened to fall
but she continued walking.

Alone got to her car and took deep steady breaths.

She'll be fine. A pat on her shoulder had her turning.
"Lolo, you forgot your bag."
She smiled at one of her cousins as she got the bag.
"Thank you." It had totally slipped her mind and her
cousin smiled sadly.
"It will be fine."
"Eventually or maybe never. You never know. Thanks."

She opened her bag and took out her car keys and got
inside her car. She placed her head on the steering
wheel and sighed. She took out her phone and saw the
million missed calls. Her phone started vibrating in her
hand and she wiped her tears and cleared her throat
before answering.

"Alone Puso, hello."

"Why haven't you been answering my calls Alone?"
She rolled her eyes as she started the car.
"Does the world revolve around you? Waitse I should
have kept you blocked."
"That is no way to speak to me, you ch-"
"Fotsekela koo ee! You think I care?"
"Alone..please."
"Please eng? This is borderline harassment. Akere you
dumped me and told me hewehewe I'm too beautiful
eng eng and can't marry me nywe nywe! Men want
you..ee akere men want me because I'm beautiful but I
was in a relationship with you. Mxm!"
"Alone, you wanted one of my friends and that was
trashy of you."
"The same friend I told you was coming onto me and
made me uncomfortable? You know what? Why are you
calling me."
"I thought about it and us, what if we give us another
chance?"

Alone laughed.
"Go back to your friends and tell them I'm still trashy.
People like you always want back what they can't have
and I'm way past that. I'm not a joke. Akere wena o
utlwa ka ditsala. Fotshek autwe? Fotshek!"(you listen to
your friends)

She cut the call before he could say anything and she
blocked his number. She looked behind to see if there
were any cars parked behind her and reversed out of
her parking spot.

***

At Meme's house in the village, people gatherrd around

holding the pink balloons. They were sending her off on
a lighter note. There had been enough tears to fill a
whole river and Meme would have hated to see
everyone sad about her death. She had told them she
wanted them happy.

Alone tried to smile as she held the pink balloon.

"Everyone, on a count to three then let go. 1…2….3.."

Everyone let go of the balloons and there was a light

cheering and Alone looked up at the sky.
"Sleep peacefully mmamane." She whispered before
she walked over to Tebogo who picked up the glass of
juice from the table.

"I know today is a sad day but you looked pissed off
when you got out of the car."
"You can't believe who called."
Tebogo folded her arms and chuckled.
"Oteng?"
"That fool thinks I'll get back with him? And that was like
his third number.."
"Alone, what do you feed these men. Why do they crave
you this much?"
Alone shrugged. She didn't know why they were on her
case. Her two instances of dating after Shawn blew up
in her face. The first person she dated which was the
year she finisher her Master's degree, he introdiced her
to his parents only to marry another woman and she
found out through social media but he wanted to keep
her a side chick, he practically begged her. Then came
along this fool, Oteng. A rollercoaster ride.
"Nothing." She sighed. The man she wanted to blow up
her phone seemed to have disappeared off the face of
the earth.

After her mother had broke her phone and crushed her
simcard that fateful night, she was driven off to the farm
to stay with her uncle. Hell, she was nursing herself from
that horrible beating. She almost died.Luckily she
borrowed their phones three days later after she arrived.
She knew his number by heart and tried to call but it was
unavailable. She spent the whole week trying.

Three months later when it was close to the release of

results, she was back home and she went over to
Meme's place. She cried so hard to the point of having
an asthma attack. Her uncles were good to her but the
events leading to her being dumped there.

Meme had comforted her and the tears rolled down her
cheeks. She already missed her aunt.

"Alone are you okay?"

She shook her head. She wasn't okay.

She tried to go over to Shawn's place a decade ago

after she was back from the farm but rhey had moved.
She didn't know how to find him. She wanted to
apologise but he probably hated her so much. On
results day she had gotten 5A stars and 4As and since
she knew Shawn's candidate number by heart she had
checked his.
He had 10A stars making him the country's overall best
achiever. She had cried so hard. She had lost a lot of
weight and she only saw him on pictures from the Award
and the top achiever's book but didn't even find his
account on social media. She had searched him up
using her aunt's account since she thought he probably
blocked her on social media. He wasn't there at all.

Back to the present moment, Tebogo hugged Alone.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here. It will be all okay."
"I hope so." She whispered.
***

The view from his office was a pleasant one but it didn't
make his mood any better. He looked at the wedding
picture on his desk with unbridled rage but he kept it all
in as his brother spoke.
"Did it get any better?"
"No. Actually I stopped bringing it up."
"Even after the elder's interventions?"
"Her family would let her do as she pleases. I'm over
this. I have my lawyer engaged on this." And more. He
flexed his hand, his ring finger displaying initials of a
woman who wasn't his wife.
"But please don't stray, it never goes well. Temptation
will always knock but don't give in to it."
"Sure. I have to go."

He cut the call.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~18~
Still in his office, his landline rang shattering his thoughts
about the what ifs.
He picked it up.
"Lucas."
"Shawn, the company will need you here this side for
the next year or two."
"Isn't it something I can manage here in London?"
"I'm afraid it isn't." He covered his face. More frustration.
"It's about the Monday pitch isn't it?"
"That and more. Be in the country by Friday so we can
meet."
"Of course Mr Carmichael."
His boss cut the call and he groaned. F*ck!

He quickly got up from his chair and packed his things.

He should start packing this moment, maybe going back
to the country he'll tell the elders so there can be
another meeting. Intervention of some sort because he
wasn't about to hold this out for the next month. He has
been patient for way too long for a married man. If he
wanted a celibate life, he would have chosen it himself.

He looked at his ring finger and looked at the tattoo. He

shouldn't even think about it but on days like these he
couldn't help but think of them. He picked his ring and
put it on his finger before flexing his hand. It felt too tight
on his finger or was it because of what has been
happening recently in his marriage?

He should pack everything up right now. There was

really nothing he was rushing home to.

***

In a ritzy apartment building in London,Owame spoke

with her twin sister over the phone.
"Lorato kana he is so sweet and the time I got that call
gotwe I'm a wife and I should give it to him.."
"Owame, you are not sleeping with my husband. We
had an agreement. We are in this for the long haul and
the reward is his money."
"Why didn't you scam him or something?" Her sister
groaned. It's difficult to scam someone who works with
money. They know all the loopholes.
"Don't be stupid Owame. He works with money, he was
going to catch me out "
Owame sighed and flipped her braids that were starting
to get into her eyes.
"He still hasn't noticed we switched places right?"
"Not yet and it's been almost ten months. He even
reduced the wife allowance." Lorato smiled. Shawn was
usually so observant of everything and the fact that he
hasn't noticed? It was going according to plan. She and
the real love of her life were going to be rich soon.
"As long as I get my share. Don't you dare sleep with
him."
Owame bit her lip. He would sometimes come late and
night and rub himself over her butt and she would push
him away.
"Okay. I'm focused on the goal. How is it with your
man?"
"Loving it. And it's only a matter of time till Shawn breaks
and cheats. Men always cheat. It's a sure thing. A given
actually. That's when I'll come. Be on the lookout for the
signs.."
"I know the script."
"Glad that you took drama as a major, we wouldn't be
able to pull this off. Just a few months and we'll get our
money."
"How sure are you that he is really that rich?"
"Hee? He works for C Corporations, I was initially going
to marry him to fulfil the Will stipulations then divorce a
few months later but I saw his pay slip once. His brother
makes a lot of money fron tenders so I thought that is
the money he used. Hee? Kana he earns in pounds and
that is whole lot of money. More than enough to keep
me afloat for years."

Owame heard the elevator.

"He's here. Bye."

She cut the call and she busied herself with the
magazine that was on the table. The door opened and
she smiled, standing up to go get his jacket but frowned
when he came in with a box full of his stuff.
"Hi, what happened? Did you get fired?"
If he got fired, their plan was as good as dead.
"No. We're moving."
"Moving?"
"Back to Botswana."

What? That wasn't part of the deal. She smiled though.

"Okay. When?"

That made Shawn pause. He had been too frustrated

and horny to think straight but now that he had resigned
himself to his wife's now asexual mood, that didn't sound
like something Lorato would say. Lorato didn't like their
country and had been ecstatic when he got to move
here be based in the London branch instead of the
company's home base.

"This week."
"I'll start packing."
"Sure." He watched her turn her back to him. He shook
his head and placed the box on the table. He undid his
tie as he walked to the bedroom to find her looking for
the suitcases.
She turned to face him.
"Do you know where the suitcases are?" He placed his
tie on the bed before he started to unbutton his shirt.
Owame swallowed. How long before she gives in to
him? What her sister doesn't know won't hurt her, his
dragon tattoo was on display as neatly folded the shirt
and started unzipping his pants. She looked the other
way. She should focus. How can Lorato want to leave
this man? He looked like he gave good sex too. All
nerdy but beneath the suits, he was all muscle and
hotness.
"You know where the suitcases are. Remember?"
"Oh right!" She laughed nervously.

He quietly observed her. That lustful look in her eyes

was evident. If she lusted over him why the hell did she
deny him sex? Unless she was cheating but then Lorato
always knew where things were. Things were not adding
up. He quietly walked past her with unbuttoned pants
and he walked to the bathroom to turn the shower on.

He came back and he sat down while Lorato was

looking for the suitcase. She walked out of the room to
look for the suitcases and he finished undressing,
knowing like always he'll have to give himself a hand job
and groan a particular name to fully come. This was
absolute torture.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~19~

Shawn moved his hand up and down as he groaned and

grunted her name. How the f*ck was he living on
flashbacks from ten years ago? And his wife whom he
last f*cked almist a year ago didn't come to mind?

He groaned as he came all over his own hand and

leaned against the shower wall breathing heavily while
the water washed away his release. He continued
showering as he thought about the now and the
situation he was in.

Shawn got out of the shower. His mind whirling with all
sorts of conclusions. He wore his sweatpants and
walked to the lounge. She had left the suitcases in the
bedroom.
He picked his phone and looked at her.
"Do you want to pick our temporary house?"
"No. It's fine. Lunch is in the microwave. Let me go
pack."

He smiled at her and she smiled back. She walked to

the bedroom while he headed to the kitchen. Lorato had
picked this apartment and knowing her she would want
to pick where they were going to stay. Had he been too
blind to Lorato's changes all because he had been a
horny fool and worked late nights or demolished his
body in gym on his free days to avoid interacting with his
wife all because she withheld sex? Or she had been
pretending all this time? He didn't even know.

He called his brother.

"Hello? What is it?"
"I'm moving back to the country."
"Did you lose your job?"
"No. I'm an asset to the company, I need you to look for
a fully furnished apartment for Lorato and I. It's
something temporary."
"Okay."
"Can you install CCTV cameras in the house as well, I'll
sign the lease when I get there on Thursday. Lorato
wants to hire a maid, she has been wanting to start a
business for a while."
"Financed by you?"
"Yes. Obviously because she's my wife. Gape you know
how maids are especially when no one is home."
"You sound better than you were earlier."
Shawn chuckled.
"I finally got what I was looking for."
"Finally. See? At least you didn't stray from your
marriage. I'll work on it and give you feedback."
"Thank you. And you'll be here finally for your birthday
this week."
Shawn laughed.
"I don't want to celebrate. I'll celebrate with my wife,
twenty eight is just a step closer to forty and forty is too
old for my liking."
"O tla swaba Shawn." He heard his sister-in-law in the
background.
He laughed as they talked for a few more minutes
before he hung up.

He went through his contact list and called Mrs

Carmichael. If Lorato was cheating, that meant a clean
divorce because either way they were married out of
community of property, as long as he was not married to
his soulmate, no woman is getting half of his property.
No matter how much the said soulmate hurt him.

"Shawn."
"Mrs Carmichael, I have a favour to ask."
"Mia. It's Mia."
"I know that." She didn't like other co-workers being too
formal with her and she preferred they use her name. It
was always amusing to have her correct everyone who
called her Mrs Carmichael instead of Mia.
He heard the keyboard in the background.
"I need you to look into my wife."
"Trouble in paradise already?" He leaned against the
kitchen counter.
"Something like that."
"That's basically stalking."
"And who will know?"

Mia laughed as if she's never researched her husband.

"Okay."
"Tap her phone too. I want to know who she texts and
calls."
"I need access for that. Let me come up with a link and
you send it to her. Her opening it means I can have
access to her phone."
"Okay. That's doable. Thank you."
"You're welcome kiddo. Let me work on it, I'll send the
folder."
"Alright."
He cut the call and he sighed.

***

That evening at Meme's village house, Alone watched

as the couples sat next together at the bonfire while they
exchanged details about their lives. What she loved
about her family was that it wasn't full of people who
didn't want the other to succeed. They were even
planning a Christmas get together. She pulled the fleece
closer as she sipped her wine and looked at her wrist.
Her past lovers had asked her what the dates mean and
she shamelessly lied that it was when her puppy died.

First of all she has never loved her puppies like that.
She touched her locket. She hoped to see him for him to
at least give her some tips to forget him. At least that
and the closure that he wasn't mad at her. She knows
the last thing he wanted was the rape threat and that's
what she did.

She would understand if he moved on. It was completely

normal and she looked at Tebogo who was giving her a
strange look.

"Tebogo you remember that bet?"

"Which one? We have made a lot of bets."
"The one about me being married ten years later, how
much do I owe you?"
Tebogo got up and sat next to Alone.
"The year hasn't ended and it was a stupid childish bet."
"I guess."

And now came the stress of her results. If they turn out
to be positive, she'll be all alone. She didn't want to
burden the family again. They were going through it
while Meme had surgery at first then it came back then
she went through the most aggressive chemotherapy
treatment and they thought it was gone.
"Alone, don't rush the process. Finding the one just
happens."
"I have a love and hate relationship with the 30th of
November."
"And you thought having the date tattooed on your wrist
would set you free."
"Kana gongwe badimo ba gagwe ba mo emetse ka
dinao and they are punishing me until I
apologise."(maybe his ancestors are with him)
"A decade is too long for a grudge. You were kids."
"When you are young people assume you know nothing.
I knew him, I knew his heartbeat. I knew his smiles, how
sweet he was and how he hated conflict. Always
carrying himself with an air of seriousness. It feels like
he marked me and I can't move. I'm still there. He still
lingers like a tattoo kiss and he haunts all of my what ifs
and the smell of smoke never lingers that long. I knew
everything when I was a teen."
Alone whispered to Tebogo.
"I silently curse my mother for making me do that. I
curse Shawn for showing me what love is and then
disappearing."

She smiled tearfully.

"Let me go sleep. I'm tired and today was draining. I feel
like I've had too much to drink too."

She got up with her blanket and she smiled to the rest of
the family telling them she'll have an early night.

Mma Alone saw Alone and she also got up and followed
her.

"Alone, can we talk?"

Alone stopped and she looked at her mother. Her
divorce had been swift and fast. She hated that man and
she had a love hate relationship with her mother. She
was her mother and she still hated that moment she was
forced to call Shawn. She didn't care about being beaten
to an inch of her life.
"You hate me."
Alone shook her head.
"I don't hate you mama. I couldn't if I wanted to. I just
hate the hurt you put me through. That's it. You're my
mother, how can I hate you? I said that in anger at that
moment. I've had a bit too much to drink and I want to
sleep. Can we continue this conversation in the
morning?"

Mma Alone swallowed and nodded. Alone walked away.

When she got to the bedroom, Alone just got in bed and
closed her eyes. Tears involuntarily leaked on her pillow
and she didn't try to stop them as the days events
weighed heavy on her.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~20~

The following morning

Alone woke up to hear the voices of her family in the

living room. She checked the time. She had overslept
and should probably get ready to drive back to
Gaborone. She shouldn't have come with her car. She
got out of bed and stretched, yawning after a horrible
night of sleep with swollen eyes she hoped would go
down as the day progressed.

She made the bed before she packed her clothes. She
was still on yesterday's clothes and her hair probably
needed a flat iron and fixing the edges. Or she should
remove the whole damn weave in preparation for her
pitch on Monday. She had deadlines to chase and
regardless of what was falling apart in her personal life,
life had to continue as normal.

She was grateful she got the room with the bathroom.
Having to wait for her turn was something she didn't
want to do now, she wasn't even in a chirpy mood.

Thirty minutes later, she was done and trying a

headwrap over her head before she tied the shoelaces
of her tennis shoes. She breathed in and out before
walking out of the room.
"Lolo your breakfast is in the mucrowave."
"Okay. Thank you and good morning."
"Morning." One of her cousins smiled and she walked to
the kitchen passing her uncles and aunts and other
cousin in the dining room.

She found Tebogo doing dishes.

"Hey. Food is in the microwave."
"Thanks. Gosh, I'm so tired."
"Aren't we all."
She got the food and washed her hands before she sat
on the high chair.
"I noticed you weren't drinking yesterday."
Tebogo glanced over at Alone and then made sure it
was just them too.
"I'm not sure, just suspecting that there is a bun in the
oven."
Alone smiled, her own lonely heart trying to tell her she'll
never get such moments.
"Have you told him?"
"Ng ng. My period is late by a week and I had pushed it
down to stress but now? It might be a possibility. I'll have
to confirm once we get to Francistown though, even if
it's not. We still have our whole lives to try for babies."

Alone picked at her fries.

"It is a blessing. If it's true."
"Yes. That little hope nyana and the pregnancy
experience hela."
"My girl, I hope your nose will be safe from the
pregnancy experience."
Tebogo gasped and then laughed hitting Alone's
shoulder
"Tlhemma ga wa siama. Nka lla gore wena ga nko e ka
nna maswe."(You're not a good person. I'd cry so much
if my nose is going to be ugly)

Alone shrugged as she brought the fork to her lips. A

minute later she started speaking.
"I wanted to go back today, when the Will is read if I'm
needed you'll give me a call."
"What's the rush?"
"I have a deadline to meet and this client is so important
to the bank mma. They'd lose their trust in me if I failed
to win the client over. Monday is the pitch and I'm
nervous."
"Okay. I'll let you know. Hope you nail it."
"I hope so too or else I'll be royally f*cked if I mess up."
"See why we chose less challenging courses?"
Alone laughed.
"Is law a less challenging course? Ija!"

Tebogo smiled as Alone ate. When Alone finished, she

went to find her mother to get this over and done with.
She walked to the room her mother was sleeping in and
knocked on the door.
"Tsena."(enter)
Alone opened the door and her mother smiled at her.
"Hello. Did you sleep good?"
"Yes."
Mma Alone could see the bag under Alone's eyes but
didn't comment on it.
"I wanted to apologise."
"Ee mma."
"I'm sorry for everything I put you through, you didn't
deserve my anger."
"Ee mma. It's okay."
"Serious?"
She nodded.
"You're not holding a grudge against me?"
"Mama why would I hold a grudge when I lost him?
When I had already threatened to ruin his life before it
fully started? And yes, I wasn't supposed to have sex at
sixteen and that was wrong but I initiated the whole
thing, he agreed to everything I said. I know there are a
lot of men in this world, trust me I have seen them but
have you ever wanted that one man? I don't even know
what he looks like right now, so maybe I saw him and
didn't recognise him. Men are not everything but I
achieved everything. I got a degree, did my Masters and
work in a bank in my dream position. I have all that but
somehow there is a void." She only had the version of
him in her head of him as a teenager. Right now he is a
man approaching his thirties. A man she doesn't know
anymore and couldn't be able to recognise in a crowded
room. She doesn't know the matured version of
him.Hell, his birthday is this Friday and he'll be twenty
eight. She needed to get a life and nove on.
Mma Alone nodded. The pain in Alone's voice had her
own heart breaking and her guilt eating her up. Maybe
she could have handled it better like Meme had said but
in her mind she was protecting Alone.
"I'm sorry."
"Ee mma."
"We can get counselling together, I researched on that."
"Ee mma. Maybe when I'm in Francistown."
"You never come home."
"I'll try to. This time. I think I should go, I have to go back
to work. Bye."
"Bye bye Lolo."

Alone walked out. She went to find the rest of the family
to let them know she was leaving. With that short
announcement, she got her bags in the bedroom and
went to her car to put them there.
Minutes later, she was hugging everyone goodbye
before she headed to her car. When she got inside she
called her doctor.
"Ms Puso.."
"Hi doctor, hope I didn't catch you at a bad time?"
"Not at all."
"I know I said we should meet on Friday but is Thursday
okay?"
"Tomorrow?"
"Yes. Unless of course you're busy."
"No. Tomorrow I have a free slot before lunchtime."
"Perfect. I'll be there. Thank you."
"You're welcome. Bye."

He doctor cut the call and Alone made a grouo call to

her team members.
"Boss lady."
She laughed starting the car.
"Hi guys, can we meet on Friday to finalise the pitch?"
"Friday is okay." One of them said.
"We will be working till late."
"Kana you are such a slave driver, kana a bo re ne re
ikhuditse."(we were relaxing)
Alone laughed.
"Any information on who we're specifically pitching to so
we can all do our research?"
"Nope. Nothing. Just that he is young and too hard to
please."
"No one is too hard to please especially when we're
dealing with money."
"From hearsay? He can make someone cry because of
sub par ideas. Gatwe ha go monate to be pitching to
him." One of her team members said.
"We'll see. We'll talk tomorrow guys. Bye."
"Bye." The three team members said in unison before
the call was cut.

Alone reversed her car.

***

In London, Shawn drove him and his wife to the airport.

His phone started ringing and picked it up as Mia's
name flashed on the screen. Owame saw the name. Mia
was his boss, shr knew that. There were no signs lf
cheating. If he was cheating, Lorato was going to be on
her way and she can also sue the lady and get more
money. She was foing this for her sister.
"Mrs Carmichael." Shawn started as he held the steering
wheel with one hand.
"I sent what I found to your email. Go through it o wetse
pelo(go through it calmly)and don't do anything I
wouldn't do. Just kidding, I'd do a lot worse. We'll talk
once you get here."
"Thank you and see you tomorrow then."
"Alright. Safe flight."
"Thanks."

He cut the call and looked at his wife as she shifted in

her seat.
𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~21~

12 hours later

The C Corporations company jet landed at Sir Seretse

Khama International Airport. The two had freshened up
and Shawn smiled at her.
"We'll check in at the hotel and right now we'll move in
tomorrow."
"Okay."
The jet doors opened and the air hostess led them out.
Owame swallowed. She needs time to call Lorato and
fully talk. She had managed to send a message
yesterday after Shawn had borrowed her phone for
something. She was having a lot of internal turmoil for
her to remember why he borrowed it. She just knew she
deleted call logs and the messages between her and
her sister.

Shawn took her hand as they walked down the stairs.

He had used this time to think and had he opened the
document Mia sent? Not yet, he'll look at it in the
morning on his way to work.

If it was up to him, he wouldn't be here. Too many

memories.

***

The following day

Shawn woke up first and he got ready to go to the office.

He should probably pass by his brother's place to to get
his car first.

He watched his wife sleep. She didn't give him

butterflies or make his heart stop whenever he looked at
her. He sighed and grabbed his things while calling a
cab. He'll go through what Mia sent on his way to his
brother's place. He took out his contact lenses and took
a minute to poke through his eyes to have them sit there
correctly. His pair of glasses was in the bag. For
emergencies.

***

Almost twenty minutes later, Shawn's jaw had been

slack as he perused through the information. The phone
calls and messages.

What a f*cking mess. She started it and he was only

going to end it. Neatly and quietly.

He put his phone away and rubbed his jaw. The ring on
his finger feeling heavier than usual. He had to stop
himself from removing the piece of metal and throwing it
outside the window. He'll deal with this calmly. Like he
always does things. He was starting to think that his
choice in women was…questionable to say the least.

The cab stopped by Kagiso's house and he paid the

man as he got out with his things.
He saw his sister-in-law outside, watering the flowers
and he smiled. Why did she have to plant flowers
outside the wall gate?
"Hi Shawn." She let go of the watering can, her big belly
making her movements slower than usual and went to
hug him.
"Hello. How have you been? and where is your
husband?"
"Inside. Where is Lorato, I hate her but she's your
choice."
Unlike most days he defended her to his sister-in-law,
this ti.e he laughed.
"At the hotel, I'll pass by with her later today."
"Okay."

He proceeded to walk inside the yard, the bulldog

walking towards him. He rubbed the dogs head with a
free hand before he stood up.

The door was open and he walked inside, placing his

bag on the couch.
Kagiso walked down the stairs.
"When did you arrive?"
"Last night, I came here for my car keys. I need to make
an appearance at the office."
"Sure. By the tv stand." He got the keys and grinned at
his brother.
"What's for breakfast?"
"I can't believe you came here to freeload."
His sister-in-law held her chest dramatically.
"I'm still the kid brother. It counts for something."
Kagiso laugher pushing him aside.
"I can't believe people are scared of you."
"Keore lona le ntlwaetse. (Just that you guys are used to
me)I am a very serious person in real life."
"Tswa ha!"(gerra here)
Shawn laughed as he headed to the kitchen to see what
he can eat.

***

Around nine, Shawn was at the office. He'll pack his

things tomorrow before he decides how to spend his
birthday.

He took the elevator up to Lucas' office and almost

everyone was surprised to see him. Hell, they didn't
even know he was married and he wanted to remove
the horrendous ring on his finger but he had to play the
long game now.
He knocked lightly.
"Come in." He opened the door and found Luca's wife
by his side explaining something. Was his boss
listening? The man was looking at her and agreeing to
whatever. One of these days he wouldn't be surprised to
find out that he gave her the whole company. He was
surprised that he hasn't given it all to her.
He cleared his throat.
"Sorry to interrupt."
"You weren't interrupting, I was just leaving." she
straightened up and he watched his boss' move up with
her movements and he watched her walk away from the
desk.
"Oh and welcome back. Congratulations too? I guess."
She patted his back.
"Don't congratulate me yet but thank you."
She nodded and walked out.
"I'm here, what do we have to discuss?"

He pulled the chair from the desk and sat down as they
got to business. Shawn gave him an update from the top
of his hear about everything and what he observed from
everything he got from all the branches.
Lucas nodded. They did good by taking him as intern
ehile he was still studying in London. His strategies and
IQ was out of this world.

A door knock disturbed them and Mia walked in.

"Hello."
"Mrs Carmichael." Shawn turned and Lucas watched
Mia sigh.
"At least I'm not the one close to be swindled."
"Touchè."
Lucas frowned and Mia smiled.
"Background checks are important. How surprised are
you?"
"I'm beyond that word. But it's okay."
"Okay?"
"Just wait and watch."
Mia, an instigator of chaos smiled pushing her glasses
back.
"Mia did you do a background check on them?"
"Yes. If we were to invest with them, our money is safe
and all. The thing is will they wow Shawn? That's the
million dollar question."
"I hope they do because couldn't this be handled over
Zoom like the other banks did?"
"There is more. Other than that, we have pending issues
and you need to be here."
"Okay." He leaned back in the chair.

***

Before lunch time, Mia sat in the doctor's office waiting

patiently for the results. She had been told to wait for a
fee minutrs and prepare herself mentally and
emotionally for any kind of result. She breathed in and
out. She was healthy. Yes. She did screenings and she
didn't do anything that could endager her health.

The door opened and the doctor walked in.

"Are you ready to see your results?" She nodded as the
door closed.
The doctor took her seat and removed the brown
envelope from her desk drawer to hand it to Alone.
"Open it."
Alone held it in her hands.
"Should I be worried? Can't you just tell me?"
"Alone, calm down. Open the envelope."
Alone did that, praying silently in her heart as she
removed the paper from the envelope. Her eyes welled
with tears as she scanned the results.
"I'm…"

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~22~

At the doctor's office.

Her eyes wepled with tears as she scanned the results.

"I'm…I have a positive result?"
Her tears rolled down her cheeks as her doctor tried to
keep a neutral face.
"Alone, this positive doesn't mean you have cancer. I
know you do regular checkups. You know this was the
genetic test and this only means you have an increased
risk of developing breast cancer, not that you have it at
this present moment. There are some cases where one
just carries the gene and doesn't develop cancer till the
day they die. We have to look at the positives in this
situation."

Alone's lips trembled and she covered her mouth. She

wasn't going to breakdown in her doctor's office. Some
of the women from her dad's side died because of
cancer but then again she thought of her other aunts
who were alive. They likely carried the gene and they
didn't develop cancer. They are still happy and living life
with their families.

"What we are going to do from here is try to lower your

risk of developing cancer. Are you scared?"
"I just buried my aunt two days ago. She died from
breast cancer."
"I'm sorry for your loss. With regular screening like
you've been doing, we have hope that you might not
develop cancer."
"How much hope are we talking about?"
"Fifty percent. We can't be sure but as your doctor we
will do the necessary, don't worry too much Alone.
You're still alive and well. Healthy even."

She nodded. She had hoped the gene skipped her

regardless of her screenings showing no signs of
cancer. She breathed out heavily and placed her hands
over her lap. She didn't have cancer now and that was
the important part. She should start living, like being
alive not worrying about the what ifs or about tomorrow.
Tebogo was living her best life with her husband to be
and might even be expecting.
Alone wiped her tears as she listened to her doctor.

Twenty minutes later, she was walking to her car with

her hand over her face covering her from the sun. She
saw a cute couple walk to the car together. Her eyes
welled with tears and she dropped her head unlockibg
her car. She got in, already halfway to sobbing. Her
fingers rubbed her locket as she took deep steady
breaths.
"Start living life Lolo. You owe it to yourself."
She let go of the locket before sge steadily unclipped it
from her neck and opened it to look at the picture inside.
He was probably happy where he was. She was just
thinking about him and was probably the worst time of
his life. She wanted to put the locket away but she
couldn't bring herself to let it go. She wore it again and
smiled. She'll take it off after his birthday tomorrow and
maybe she should go out drinking and celebrate him
and probably her last day of moping over him.

She leaned back, if she was in a therapist's office she

would be told to forgive herself and that she had been
too young. She shouldn't even bother anyone with what
the doctor said. They'd fuss over her and the grief was
still new, navigating grief for the third time in her life. The
day her father died, she lost the child in her, the day she
broke his heart, she broke hers in the process and lost
the youthful part of herself. The adult in her died when
Meme was buried.
"L-lolo you'll be fine." She assured herself as she started
the car and connected her phone to the car to play
songs

***

Inside the hotel room, Owame talked with Lorato.

"What if he sees you in the country? "
"You're panicking Wame! Focus marn! He doesn't know
you exist. That means there is no way he can see me.
That man is a workaholic and if he is travelling it's not in
this country. We have come too far to let this blow up in
our faces."
"Okay. He stopped demanding for sex."
"He will. Now that he is in the country, obviously he is
going to talk to my parents and have them talk to you
again. Don't have sex with him. Please."
"Why? It's not like I don't have needs."
"Don't forget where I found you Owame. It can all
disappear."
"I'm sorry. Okay, I have to go."
"Be calm and act like always. Be on the lookout for
those signs please. We can sue for over half a million
even."
"Okay."
She cut the call and breathed in. Just as she sat on the
bed, the hotel door opened and he strolled inside.
She smiled at him and he smiled back. He walked over
to her and held her waist kissing her cheek. Owame
tried so hard not to melt into his touch and his
gentleness. Her sister wanted to leave a man like this for
the man she was currently with?
"I got the car and managed to sign the lease, let's get
going. And we're having dinner with my brother."
"But I have to pack the clothes."
"Don't worry about that. It's a chore for another day." He
let go of her waist. He stepped back, unbuttoning the
first few buttons of his crisp white shirt and she smiled.
Her mind was made up. What Lorato doesn't know won't
kill her. She stood up and kissed him, she has always
been tall and she was a few inches shorter than him but
taller than the average girl.
He kissed her and smiled.
"Not now. We have to go okay?"
She nodded and stepped back. He turned his back to
her and got their suitcases while she got her bag.
"Let me go put these ones in the car and I will come
back for the rest."
"And let me make sure we got everything."
He pulled the bags and she watched him. She was
meeting his brother.
She called Lorato.
"Lorato, I'm meeting his brother."
"Be careful of his sister-in-law. She is such a b*tch. Too
nice for my liking. Mxm! Glad I don't have to deal with
that fake b*tch."
"What did she do? She is Shawn's sister-in-law and that
makes him family."
"Too fake. She fakes being nice when she is just a
snake. I hate her so much."
"Okay. It's going to be a long dinner session then."
"If she tries anything slap the bitchiness out of her."
Owame nodded. Wondering why her sister was so
triggered.

She cut the call and deleted the call log before she
looked around the room. She breathed out.

***

Around six pm, Shawn and his 'wife' were getting ready
for dinner while Shawn was makibg quiet and
undetected observations. He now had access to
everything in her phone. This was the long game and he
was prepared to see it through.
***

On the way to Kagiso's house, Owame noticed he was

not wearing his ring and her curiosity on his tattoo
peeked. She had always stopped herself from asking
but those letters were nowhere to be seen in her twin's
name.
"What does your tattoo mean?"
Shawn kept a neutral face.
"My parent's initials."
"Okay. But why your ring finger?"
Shawn wanted to chuckle. He had been taken for a fool
alright. One Lorato knew his late parents' names and
'AP' was definitely not their names nor initials. He had
told her he got it on a whim as a form of rebellion. Which
was not true. He still f*cking loved that girl to the point of
having a forever reminder of her.

Kagiso was going to be fuming to realise he never got

rid of it. He had said something along the lines of it
being disrespectful to his wife by having another
woman's initials on his ring finger.

Sometimes that man got on his nerves.

He arrived at his brother's house and he called him to
open the gate. The gate slid open and he watched this
imposter act as if it wasn't her first time here.

***

Inside Kagiso's house, Shawn's wife saw Lorato and she

rolled her eyes. Kagiso shared a look with Shawn who
just raised his hands.

Owame looker at the woman Lorato hated. Why did

Lorato hate her? She made the first move greeting her
with a smile and Fiona frowned. Lorato? Greeting her
first. She said hi back.
"And you are expecting, congratulations." Owame said
and Fiona's eyes widened. Lorato was nice to her?
"Thank you. When are you guys planninh on having
kids?"
"Soon. Right babe?"
"Right."
"Anything I can help with?"
"Yeah, let's set rhe table."
Owame turned and kissed Shawn's cheek before she
followed Fiona.
"Did you wife somehow-"
Kagiso noticed his tattooed finger.
"I wonder how your wife feels about that. Maybe that's
why she wasn't even sleeping with you. Having a
contant reminder of a woman her hisband loves."
"Kagiso don't start. We are here for dinner."
"If she came back, you'd take her back right?"
"I'm marrier aren't I?"
"You didn't answer the question."
He licked his lips.
"Shawn, she is nothing but trouble. You might crave her
for some weird reason to the point if having her tattoed
on your body but it is never that serious."
"I don't know what you are on about…let's have dinner
please."

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~23~

The following day

Shawn rolled out of bed, fresh and ready for his birthday.
He had said something about needing his space and
that's why they weren't sharing rooms. He thought anot
how he had been played as he headed to the shower.
Like clockwork, he gave himself a handjob in the shower
before he got on with his shower. Maybe rhe reason he
hadn't looked for her was because he was afraid of his
reaction to seeing her. Even a decade later, he knew he
would remember her. Kagiso had been right. He'd take
her back immediately.

When he got out of the shower, his phone started

ringing. He saw the caller ID and he picked up the
phone.
"My boy."
"Hearsay says you're in town and today is your lucky
day birthday boy."
"Yeah?"
"A new club is opening. It's exclusive and I know the
owner, managed to score a few VIP passes.I'll send
directions."
"Fine by me. I'll be there."
"Remember our uni club days?"
He laughed covering his mouth his fist. Of course he
remembered, he had been nursing his heartbreak and it
was wild.
"Good times. They were pretty wild."
"And you were a ladies man."
"Hey now!" His friend laughed and he chuckled.
"Do you have a date?"
"What date?"
"Your wife?"
"Don't worry about that. I don't have a date."
"If you say so."
"I have to go. I'll be there."

The call cut. He smiled devilishly. A good lay was comint

his way. Finally!

He looked at rhe ring on the dresser, his finger still

showing that there was a ring that used to be there. But
he wasn't even taking it.

He picked the pressed white shirt and some black

slacks. That'd do because he wasn't coming home
tonight.

***

Alone woke up with a heavy heart. She rubbed the

locket before taking it off.
"Happy birthday Shawn." She whispered. Today was her
last day letting the guilt eat at her. She got out of bed
and headed to the shower. She had an hour to kill
before she met her team.
Her phone ringing had her running from the shower, wet
and naked.
She answered.
"Lolo?"
"Hi Tebogo. I'm okay and you?"
"I hope you are not rotting in your bed this year."
"I'm actually heading to work, mma this presentation has
me stressed the f*ck out."
"Why?"
"Gatwe he is difficult eng eng."
"I still believe in you. As long as you're not rotting in your
bed, it's progress."
"I've taken the decision to let bygones be bygones. Mma
ntle ke ye go tlhapa."
"Okay. Will check on you later."
"Bye bye."

She cut the call and ran back to the bathroom. When
she came back, she picked an outfit, no matter how over
the top it was it was enough to elevate her mood.

She even took the time to straighten her weave and lay
her edges. She did her eye makeup and applied blood
red lipstick. She should probably go out after work too.
She just wore jeans and an FNB t-shirt along with
sneakers.

In an overnight bag, she packed a blood red dress and

black red bottoms. Centre of attention? She didn't care.
Maybe that's why Oteng dumoed her, he couldn't handle
being seen with a beautiful girl like her. It's not like she is
going to get married and stuff. She is releasing this
week's stress and if Tebogo wasn't engaged they would
be in the club together but anyways…

***

At FNBB

Alone and her team sat in the boardroom going through

what their presentation will look like.
"I think this is the winning idea." She finally said.
"Alone? It's way past seven."
"I know. Great things take time and our reputation is on
the line here. We have to impress or it's over for us."
She told one of them off and she shrinked in her seat.
Alone was such a slave driver.
"But I think we are almost done, we should add a few
touches here and there."
They groaned but they worked through it.

***

At the Exclusive Club, Shawn who was now fresh from

his shower in the hotel he booked, got out of his Range
Rover. His phone was off and he had left it in the car.
He was cheating now and he wanted to see that
scammer he called a wife show face. Trying his f*cking
IQ. God, it made him so angry. He rearranged his face.
Club lights flashed and he chuckled as his mates got out
of their cars too. They fist bumped exchanging
greetings.
"Let's go, it's still early though."
"The night is still young." The three gentlemen walked to
the club, eyes on them as they flashed their VIP passes
and were shown to the VIP side of the new club. The
music was just the right kind of sultry and all it needed?
A hot blooded woman grinding up on him as the club
lights flashed.

They walked up the stairs and when they got to the VIP
section, they sat down and ordered drinks as they
startee catching up. Laughter could be heard on their
side as the call girls eyed the gentlemen. All they could
see was moneu as they served them.
***

Owame tried to call Shawn but his phone wasn't going

through. It was getting late. Maybe it was work. Yes. It
was too early to tell Lorato that he was cheating with no
evidence. Shawn was a workaholic, he had said he was
going to work. She got in bed and placed the phone
away.

***

At FNBB

Alone smiled at her team in the parking lot.

"Great job, we are ready for Monday." She finally said.
They looked exhausted and overworked. Did she feel
guilty about that? A little bit.
"Thank God! Boss lady?"
"Hmm?"
"A friend of mine got passes for this new club in town."
"O-okay?"
"Do you want to go?"
"You want to party with your boss?"
One of them laughed.
"Besides driving us crazy in the office, you're okay."
Alone rolled her eyes with a smile.
"Okay. I have no Friday plans. But outside the office I'm
not bosslady, lona le tla nkgwisa di potential."(You'll
make my potentials not see)
"Clubbing then?"
"Of course. Send the location via WhatsApp and we'll
drive there. I'm Alone when we get there and whatever
you see? Close your eyes."
"Ha.a! Bosslady?"
Alone unlocked her car laughing.
"Bosslady ke mang? Nna ga ke mo itse." (Who is
bosslady? I don't know her)

She got inside her car and sent Tebogo a message

telling her she was fine. She received the message
about the location.Oh? That was interesting. She hoped
it was like that club she visited in the Caribbean while
she was still a student. All she did was some harmless
flirting and all. Random sex? She didn't think she had
been built for that bsck then because she wanted a
genuine connection but rhere is always a first time for
everything. Right?

She started her car and entered the location in her car
gps.

***
At The Exclusive Club

Alone sprayed her perfume on her chest before she

wore the red bottoms and after ten minutes of
retouching her makeup and making sure her lips were
red. She got out of the car, the locket dangling on her
neck and her tattoo fiant in the dim lights. She could
hear the music and she grinned. Her phone was in one
hand and her card in her phone cover. And it seemed as
if her team members had planned this because they
were also club ready.
"Alone? I lied. We wantef to cheer you up, the past few
weeks have been rough on you with your aunt and all."

She smiled blinking back tears. Why was she doman

emotional.
"Getting me drunk is cheering me up? Thank you so
much."
She straightened up as they laughed and walked to the
entrance to flash their VIP passes. With that, they were
led upstairs to the VIP section.

Shawn held the glass in his hand, about to rebut

something his friend had said when time stood still. She
sat down with some people in the far corner of the VIP
lounge. He closed his eyes, cursing over and over again
in his head. Only seeing her curves in that red dress and
those traitorous red lips of hers. F*ck!
"Shawn? Are you okay?"
"Yeah."
He focused on what his friends were saying but his eyes
went back to her.

Alone felt eyes on her but she looked around and no

one was watching. Something was said and it all made
them laugh as she downed the shot they dared her tot
ake.
"Ga ke le rate lona."(I don't like you guys."

In the far corner of the VIP lounge, he spotted her. The

angel rolled her eyes at something one of her friends
said. His hawk like gaze was on her as her chest
bounced from the laugh that left her lips. He'd hoped
she'd disappear and that it was his imagination.

In the VIP lounge, Alone lifted her eyes only to be met

by an intense stare. She swore those eyes looked
familiar but maybe it was the alcohol talking. He looked
like a catch too.Alone smiled and winked at him as she
brought the glass to her lips with a little giggle. She lifted
her glass to him that was stained with red lipstick. She
laughed again watching him. Was the alcohol already
getting to her head? Oh so that was the person who had
his eyes on her. Nice! She nodded at what was said
while she stared back at him.

He averted his attention away from her, unable to stop

his body's visceral reaction to her. She was everything
he shouldn't want. But he wanted her again. He grew
hard in his pants and he groaned.

He looked at her again and she got up from where she

was seated. He could tell she didn't recognise her, he
didn't know if that was supposed to make him angry or
thrill him that he could f*ck her to get her out of his
system snd forget it all. It's been a decade so surely he
shouldn't be feeling this way and it was lust talking.

Alone walked down the stairs to join the general crowd

as the dj started with a much more sultry playlist and the
club dimmed down.

Shawn placed his drink down.

"I'll be back." He took the stairs, two at a time in search
of her.

Alone grinned as she whined sexily to Beyoncè's Drunk

In Love, all eyes on her on the dancefloor. Her @ss
bouncing and her tits fresh and a sight to look at with
that tiny waist that would drive a man crazy. Some men
salivated over her wondering how it would be to have
her doing woman on top on them.

Shawn felt like a teenager again, unable to control his

body's reaction to her. He casually walked behind her
and pulled her to him.
She giggled but didn't turn as she grinded against him
and he held her waist and she held his hands, her
hands contrasting against his hands grinding even
harder feeling his erection on her behind, the dj
transitioned the song to Partion and she turned to face
him, her heels making her taller than usual but not
enough to reach his height.
"Hii." Her soft voice had him on chokehold as she
pressed herself against him with a bewitching smile.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~24~

He smiled at her and his eyes pulled her into him. Too
similar to the ones of the boy who was haunting her
every single day but she chastised herself from seeing
him in every man she meets. That was not a good thing
and maybe she might be officially insane if she accuses
him of being Shawn.Their breaths mingled as he looked
down at him. The more she looked, the more familiar he
felt. That scorching look and him pressed up against her.
He was hypnotic,she knew those eyes. Her heart started
as it beat furiously in her chest.

She opened her mouth but he placed a finger over her

lips. He could see that she was fighting her mind over
his identity. She has always been easy for him to read.
He wasn't even that drunk. There was mere inches in
between them, he wanted to give in and her eyes said
the same thing. He dropped his head and took her lips in
his. F*cking sweet! He bit her lower lip and she held his
shirt collars, unabashedly shameless as they kissed.
Tongues overlapping as his hand settled on her behind.
She tasted man and a hint of whiskey. Delicious
combination although she had never been a fan of the
hard liquor. He had looked sexy drinking it too. She
moaned involuntarily.He broke the kiss and he took her
hand leading her outside. Alone's finger brushed over
his ring finger, feeling the little area of skin that was
sunken. Alarm bells rang in her head as he led her to the
dark corners of the exclusive club. He pinned her
against the wall and she breathed softly against his
neck. His touch alone, making her hot all over.

His eyes went to the locket but he pushed that back,

he'll deal with that in the morning.
He lifted her head kissing her, her leg wrapping around
his waist, her drrss hiking up and her unbuttoning his
shirt then she broke the kiss.
"Y-you're married." She said as a matter of fact and he
shut her up with a kiss. She tried to drop her leg but he
held it and pushed into her wet hot heat and she
moaned.
"Ah…"
When was the last time she felt like this?
He grinded into her and she placed a hand over his wide
chest, her nails scratching lightly.

Heavy breathing filled the air. She parted her lips for him
more as he gripped her waist hard, her back against the
wall. She broke the kiss and placed a manicured hand
on his open chest, the dragon tattoo faint in the dim
light. She smiled at him, looking like the seductress she
was.

"Pity I don't do taken men." She whispered seductively

in his ear and he sucked in a deep breath. She
shouldn't. Only him.
"Make me an exception." He husked. His voice alone
tasting of sin and everything she shouldn't be doing at
this exact moment. Just the correct deepness and so
mature.
She laughed softly in his ear, her hand moving down his
body and only stopping at his belt. She could feel him
against her and it was delicious. She purposely placed
her red lips on the corner of his shirt, leaving a stain
there and he didn't seem to care.
"F*ck!" He muttered feeling her up and she kissed his
neck with her red lips.
"We're leaving. Is this what you want?"
"Alone. My name is Alone." He knew that.
"Kgotla." She pouted. He kissed her and she laughed
softly.
"Is that your surname or name?"

'Alone, stop seeing him in every man. Just because it's

Shawn's birthday it doesn't mean this man is him.' Her
mind warned her stupid heart. He should probably forget
she asked.

"First name. Do you want to do this Alone?" He kissed

her forehead and she blinked but still melted into his
touch. How do you instantly click with a stranger? This
was form of witchcraft surely.
"Yes."
"It's not the alcohol speaking?" He has always wanted
her full consent.
She shook her head and took his hand, she traced the
ring outline over the tattoo.
"Alone?"
She looked up at him with vulnerability which she quickly
masked with an easy going smile. The chenistry was
there, why should she think too much about when she
was never going to see this gorgeous specimen ever
again?
"Don't think about it."
"Kgotla-"

He shut her up with another mindblowing kiss as his

hand slipped under her dress and she gasped. He broke
the kiss, falling to his knees as he removed her thong
and lifted her leg to get it. He straightened up and
slipped it into his pocket.
"Go get your things, we're leaving."
"My car…"
"I'll have someone drop it off." He fixed her dress and
held the back of her head.
"You have a minute baby girl. Parking lot. Black Range
Rover. B757BGA" His whiskey breath fanned hot over
her face and she could feel herself drip. She nodded
and walked ahead and Shawn looked at his ring finger.
He buttoned his shirt as he casually walked into the
club.
Alone's heart pounded with a bit of excitement as she
got her stuff and said bye to her friends. Something
about having an early night. They watched her walk
away, reeking of men's cologne and chuckled while
drinking. She passed Kgotla and they locked eyes, her
heart stopping at the way he looked in control, as if he
hadn't pinned her against the wall and her panties in his
pockets.

She walked down and headed to the parking lot. She

started looking at the car plate numbers.

Shawn said bye to his friends, they all gave him a look
and then they laughed it off. He walked down the stairs
and out of the club. He headed to the parking lot and he
found her next to his car.

He unlocked it and opened the door for her. She got

inside and he walked to the driver's seat after closing
her door for her. He got inside the car and started the
car.
"Open your legs for me angel." She did and his hand
held gripped her thighs and slowly moved it up and
down her thigh while he started the car. He reversed, a
single hand on the steering wheel, his veins visble and
she had momentarily forgotten that she had her legs
open for him as she was lost in whatever he was doing
till he slid his finger inside of her and she choked on air
before a moan followed.

***

At that same time, Owame was up and walked barefoot

to his room expecting to find him but he wasn't there.
She bit her lower lip and thought of calling Lorato. She
walked back to the bedroom and picked up her phone.
"Hello? It's late."

She checked the time. Almost midnight

"Shawn is not home."
Lorato yawned.
"D-did you wish him a hapoy birthday?"
"I did. He said he's working late."
"It's almost midnight. We'll talk in thr morning mma."

Lorato cut the call.

***
Alone and Shawn kissed as Shawn led them to the room
he booked, he couldn't get enough of her. Her little
moans got to him and they were still the same.
He tapped his access card on the door and held the
door handle opening it thrn quickly closing it once they
were inside,pining her against it..
"Shaw-Kgotla!" She moaned as his finger found her
sweet spot..
"Pleasee!" She begged him. If she doesn't come in the
next second-

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~25~

"Pleasee!" She begged him. If she doesn't come in the

next second-

He stopped and smirked as she begged him with her

eyes while his fingers lingered close to her sweet p*ssy.
It gave him immense pride to be able to say he was the
first to tap that.
"I-"
Her words were cut off by him plunging into her again
and she arched her back against the door.
"Ah!!"
She came over his hand.
"You made mess on my hand angel.."he drawled as she
came down to earth. Shawn placed his fingers on her
lips, his thumb probing her mouth to open and she did.
F*ck! Two of his fingers were on her lips as she started
sucking on them and his erection pained him in his
pants but he was going to take his sweet time with her.
She was beautiful. No other sight could compare. He
removed his hand and slowly removed the straps of her
dress. Alone shivered, his hands knowing what they
were doing and it was such a wonder how he seemed to
know her body and where to touch. The dress was
pulled down to the floor, leaving her in the heels. He fell
to his knees and lifted her legs to place them on his
shoulders.
"Kg-ahh!"
Her still sensitive clit was attacked by a vicious lick and if
he wasn't holding her, she would be puddle on the floor.
"Sweet. F*cking mine!" He growled against her inner
thigh as she pushed his head.

Shawn lapped and sucked, in between tongue f*cking

the hell out of her and almost making her come then
stopping to continue. Eating her out might turn out to be
his favourite past time. Her nails scratched his head, she
urged him more, her body slightly trembling and her
squirming…he loved this…
"Aaah…aawwww pleaseeee!" Her soft moans. He could
feel his own pre-cum leaking as he lightly bit her inner
thighs!

He carefully picked her up with her legs still on his

shoulders as he walked to the bed. He pit her down and
continued his vicious assault and Alone couldn't speak,
she just moaned his name over and over again till she
came all over his face and his grip tightened on her
thighs.

Alone's eyes were closed shut as tears of pleasure

escaped her eyes. This man was playing her body like
damn fiddled and all she could do was take what he was
giving with open arms and legs.
"Open your eyes." She did so immediately.

She watched him unbutton his shirt, the veins on his

fingers visible and the dragon tattoo on his muscled
chest came into view. She didn't know she might be into
men with ink but he was an exception. Her p*ssy
throbbed and she clenched her thighs together.
"Ng ng. I want to look at my p*ssy. Open your legs."
A whimper escaped her lips before her lips parted
followed by her legs.
"Look at you, all wet. For me." She breathed in sharply.
Her breaths choppy as she watched him shred his shirt
and unbuckle his belt. The zipper followed before he
stopped and slid off his shoes then continued. His oants
dropped and he watched her throat bob. Her heart
pound as she took in all that muscle. He wasn't the too
buffy type. He was the type who could still lift you up and
not feel a thing. He had muscle in all the right places
and her throat ran dran when she saw the tip that was
showing underneath his boxers.
He removed those and Alone swallowed. She could do
this. She survived breaking her virginity although this
was bigger than that but that counted for something
right. She moved back but he just grabbed her leg to pull
her to the edge of the bed.
"Where do you think you're going?"
His hand lightly squeezed her neck and she looked up
at him, still unable to not remember Shawn while looking
into Kgotla's eyes. He dropped his head to kiss her while
his other hands squeezed one of her breasts and
rubbed the taut n*pple as she moaned in his mouth.
Why was she such a hot mess when he touched her?
Her hand moved over his chest, feeling muscle and
man. She moved her hand lower to try and prepare her
mind and he dropped his hand to grab hers. Shawn laid
her down on her back, using one hand to pin hers above
her head and his d*ck slapped against her open thighs.
Her slick entrance glistened as he slowly rubbed the tip
of his d*ck over her clit and she whimpered.
"Aaah…"
He started with the head, sliding in only the tip and he
watched her grunt and her back arch. He wanted to give
her backshots after this, hearing her @ss cheeks clap
against each other while he f*cked her. He was going to
be doing her the whole night, that's for sure.

Alone breathed hard as he started to thrust in and out of

her with only the tip and he got to steady rhythm where
he used the opportunity to slide a few inches deeper.
"Aww Sh-Kgotlaaa!"
He slid fully into her and she screamed! He chuckled.
"Now take me like a good f*cking girl, Lolo." She
whimpered as his waist started to move. F*ck! He loved
the way she tightened all over him, so f*cking tight and
she kept him locked in. That's his girl!

Lolo's legs wrapped around his waist, the heels

scratching his back as he grunted in her ear and she hit
his chest in pleasure. Her words were unintelligible as
she felt light.
Shawn thrust in and out of wet p*ssy, the friction and
tightness making him lose his mind as she locked him
fully with her legs, screaming as she came.
"Aaawwww….aaaahhh…Kgooootlaaaa..urrrggg!"
"Come for me angel.."
He groaned her name, coming inside of her.
"F*ck!" Cause of death should be Alone on his grave
because she was killing him. He'd eat her every single
f*cking day.

Alone opened her eyes and looked at his face, her nails
on his tattoo.

He bit her ear as she breathed softly against him.

"I'm having you again."

Still plugged in her, he picked her up and walked to the

wall, f*cking her against it.
Alone cried under him. He was going to kill her. She
came again. He slid out as his cum flowed down her leg
and he picked her up.
"Kg-"
He shut her up with a kiss, making her arch her back for
him with her breasts on the bed and her @ss spread
out. His hands wrapped around her waist before he
slammed into her.

"Aaawww!!!"
𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~26~
The following morning at the hotel, Shawn woke up with
Alone still fast asleep on his chest. She was even
drooling over his chest. His hand softly moved over the
curve of her hip and she sighed softly on his chest. He
watched her shift and he gently rubbed her. She has
another thing coming if she thinks she's walking away
again.

He looked at the telephone by the bed and picked it up

to request breakfast.

***

At the apartment, Owame woke up to no sign of Shawn

home and at that moment, her phone rang.
"Hello?"
"What were you saying last night?"
"He's still not home."
"For real? But let's wait and see. Give it a week even."
"Okay. What if something happened to him?"
"Even better for us. We can get his inheritance, he
probably has me in the Will so it's easier than catching
him cheating."
"Lorato! You said you loved him."
"I was lying. I don't love him. He gives mindblowing sex
but no, I have my soulmate and it's not him."
"Iyoo!"
"If he doesn't show up tomorrow, you'll call his brother
and act like a concerned wife. For now? Relax."

Owame nodded and cut the call. She looked around the
apartment and then went to make herself breakfast.

***

Alone woke up to Kgotla looking at her. She blushed

under his scrutiny and buried her head on his chest.
Temporarily forgetting that he is a married man.
"Good morning."
"Morning."
"Tsholetsa tlhogo "(lift your head)
She did so shyly and he laughed, pushing her up his
body. Already ready ro f*ck her again.
"You weren't drunk yesterday were you?"
"I sobered back in that dark corner you dragged me to. I
love your voice."
He chuckled and she felt like a sl*t, already throbbing for
him.
"Hmm..There's breakfast, but first let me have mine."
She held on tightly to him as he slid into her. She was
already swollen from last night.
"You take me so well…"she nodded with a moan.
"Made for me." He whispered with a voice that almost
made her come.

Alone was a panting mess when he was done with her

twenty minutes later. He pushed her up him a she tried
to regain herself and think straight. Sex with a married
man had not been on her bucket list but she had to let
this die with the weekend.

Shawn noticed the tattoo on her wrist and he picked it

up to look at it. He rubbed over the tattoo and Alone's
face washed with shame as she removed her hand from
his grip.

She looked at him.

"Don't ask."
"I was close to asking."
"This is probably embarrassing b-but I got it to get over
someone."
"Really?"
"Yes." He pushed her hair back and she smiled at him.
"I don't usually do this. I was trying to forget someone
but for some odd reason you look like him."
"Really?"
"Mmhmm. Okay because I'm never seeing you again I
might as well tell you."
"Who told you that?"
"You're married. Your wife is probably worried and I don't
want to be beaten up or dragged, it will ruin me."
"I told you not to think about it."
"I'm still leaving and you should forget me."
He laughed. In her dreams. She was actually fighting
her mind, convincing her mind he wasn't Shawn. He did
hear her slip ups and it somehow made him happy that
she was thinking about him for a whole decade.

"Whatever you say, I'm listening."

"So there was this boy I loved and still love. Stuff
happened and we lost contact. For a second yesterday I
thought you were him but I haven't seen him in a very
very long time and I sometimes forget people's faces if I
don't see them regularly. Gape you're married so you
can't throw a fit about me loving someone who is not
you. This was just sex Kgotla. I remind myself of how he
looks because of the picture in this locket."

She touched it.

"And yesterday was his birthday so I usually celebrate it
by blowing out candles alone and rotting in bed but
yesterday I decided it was time to let him go."
Shawn's heart constricted at her saying she was letting
him go.
He just kissed her lips and she kissed him back but
broke the kiss. He rubbed his eyes and she sighed.
"It sounds actually creepy now that I'm saying outloud
but it is what it is. Can you pass me my bag?"
"It's in the car."
"Yoh!"

There was a bout of silence and she turned to him.

"We didn't use protection did we?"
"We didn't."
"I need to take morning after pills, what's your status? If
you easily cheated that means it's your thing an-"
"Calm down. I'm negative and cheating is not my thing,
Lolo calm down."
"You're virtually a stranger, my health is on the line. I
think I should go waitse. I'll get my car from the club."

She was swollen but was going to force walking. She

also needed to do her hair for Monday.
"But thanks for the sex. Your wife is one lucky woman if
she gets that every single day."
He closed his eyes as she moved away from him. He let
her. He was going to find her. Probably he should give
her this weekend to cool off. He'll see her after his time
is wasted by one of those monotonous pitches and he
has to correct grown adults.
"Okay."

He watched her wince in pain as she walked over to pick

her dress and shoes.
"You should be getting out of bed to open your car for
me so I can get my things."
He sighed getting out of bed.
"Let me go wear my contacts first."
"Goriana o sefuofo ebile wa fheba?"(you're blind and a
cheater?)
He laughed.
"Kana o tla swaba Alone."

She laughed as she watched him head to the bathroom.

He was everything a woman could ask for, minus the
cheating but if only wishes were horses and she hadn't
f*cked up her first love.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~27~
Monday came by quickly. Alone couldn't get Kgotla out
of her mind and she couldn't shake off the feeling of
familiarity with him. At least she had the best sex she
has ever had in her adult life. The fact that he was
married just-she sighed. Men are exhausting.

She laid down her edges in front of the mirror humming.

She tried to tell herself that her pitch would be perfect.
Regardless of how 'strict' he was supposedly described
to be, she was the best economist FNBB has ever had
and this? This would even earn her a promotion if she
nailed it.

Her phone rang on the stand and she smiled answering

the video call. She placed the phone down as she
continued to do what she was doing.
"Hello."
"Hey Lolo, are you okay? Bathong o ntse montle
gore."(you're so pretty)
"Thank you. I'm ready. If we bag this, this would be our
biggest client ever."
"All the best and how was your weekend?"
"I've started living, finally!"
Tebogo laughed.
"I'm happy for you, I have news to share."
"I'm listening." Lolo applied her red lipstick and pouted in
front of the mirror. Maybe it was too bold. She wiped her
lips and applied the nude lipstick. Much better.
"We finally went to a doctor and…" Tebogo paused for
dramatics.
"I'm pregnant."
"Congratulations baby! I'm so happy for you."
"Thank you. This came at the right time."
She smiled at the screen, genuinely happy for her
cousin.
"Let me go, I have to be there early and I have people to
wow."
"Okayy..byee."
"Bye."

She cut the call and looked at the mirror. Her straight
back carrot cornrows making her forehead shine. She
had to go.

***

At Shawn's apartment, he fixed his cufflinks and rubbed

his eyes. He lost his contacts and that pissed him off. A
bad way to start his day. He had to opt for his glasses.
He pushed them back on his nose and grabbed his bag.
Just as he opened the door, Owame was also by the
door.
"Hello. Are you going to work?"
"Nka ya kae gape?"(where would I go?)
"Oh sorry."
"I'll be late, can I pass?"
She did but she followed him.
"Where were you on Friday?"
"Working." Today was Monday, why was she asking him
such when he had answered her when he arrived on
Saturday?
"You never work till the following day. It was a Friday."
He didn't have time to deal with this imposter. He had
serious things to worry about like snapping Alone back
to her senses and getting another f*ck because God
knew he needed it. He could already tell he was going to
get bored at the meeting.

"Shawn, you're not wearing your ring."

He looked at his finger, pretending like he forgot it.
"I forgot." He continued walking till he got to the door
and Owame closed her eyes.
"I'll be home late, don't wait up." He opened the door.
"I love you."
"Me too." And then he was out.

She watched the door close then quickly walked to

Shawn's bedroom. She held the laundry basket in her
hands, he wasn't working on Friday. It was a hunch.

***

At FNBB

Alone and her team sat in the boardroom waiting for

them.
"Bosslady, we got this."
Alonr's tapped her pen nervously on the table and she
looked at her nails. That was a new set and she can't
bite her nails in public. Habits do die hard.

She checked the time on the wall clock. Five minutes to

eight.
"Check the projector again."
They did that and she stood up, checking the files she
placed on each seat. Okay, they were the correct files.
The water was placed in order and the little bowls of
sweets there. It was going to be a long meeting.
There was a light knock then the boardroom door
opened slightly.

Her boss smiled at her.

"They have arrived and all the best team."
"Yes ma'am." she half saluted, before she sat down. The
door closed and Alone took one last look at her team
before the door was opened fully and two people, a
gentleman and a lady walked in. They shared a quick
smile with them as they were guided to their seats.

Her boss, who was going to be sitting in on the meeting,

introduced the two guests from C Corporations. She
knew there were supposed to be three people here. Her
boss whispered next to her.
"The person you are supposed to impress is not here
yet. He is tough but I trust you and your team Ms Puso."

She nodded and looked at the wall clock. A minute

before eight and the meeting started at eight. Her boss
walked out and she asked if they were okay and
comfortable.

She straightened up and fixed her best face, those first

class degrees weren't all for nothing.
The boardroom doors opened and before she could
turn, she caught a whiff of the cologne. She turned her
head and locked eyes with Kgotla. She had to look
down not to show that she knew him. And as much as
she started living, that decade old locket was still on her
neck. She didn't know why she couldn't part with it.

Her whole team watch him sit down, his wire framed
glasses making him look studious and nerdy. He was a
blind cheater but him in formal wear, her little heart
started beating a little too loud.

Shawn saw Alone turn and dammit. What if after this he

f*cks her on the boardroom table? Had he taken his time
to look at the team members who were supposed to
pitch to him, he wouldn't have been surprised that she
was here but it made it much easier to stop her from
running away. He'll see what she has to offer in today's
meeting. Not so boring after all.

Her boss opened her mouth to introduce him and that's

where Alone's ears started ringing.
"I'd like to introduce Mr Shawn Kgotla."
Alone's eyes widened. No!
He watched her as she held the chair. Reeling from the
shock. It was subtle but he knew her.
Her boss noticed though.
"Alone are you okay? Do you know each other?" The
boss' question was loud and Shawn smirked in his seat.
"She's my wife, can we go on with the presentation?"
His deep voice filled the whole boardroom.

Alone blanched and everyone went dead quiet at that.

Alone faced the white wall. She wanted to run away. Her
chest constricted painfully. Shawn? And why the hell did
he say that? An-tears filled her eyes and she had to
remind herself this is not the place nor time. She fanned
her face as the lights dimmed for the presentation to
start.

Two hours later, after her team members have said their
part, Alone concluded the presentation.

Absolute silence filled the room and Shawn leaned back

in his chair. His people looked at him. Everyone was
waiting for him to say something. Even Alone's boss.

Alone didn't like the silence that followed, there was a

point were she stumbled over her words. Shawn? She
was still reeling from that. She slept with Shawn? And he
was married. She didn't know which one made her want
to puke but probably the latter because she didn't regret
sleeping with him. Why didn't he tell her it was him? So
it just wasn't her seeing him in every man? It was the
man himself.

"May I speak?"
Alone's heart pounded. He wasn't smiling, just looking at
her and the people he came with waited. Her team was
nervous?
"Of course." Her soft voice replied.

"Was thought put into the pitch?"

"Yes sir." Her team member replied.

He stood up and walked to the other end of the table to

get the white board marker which was in Alone's hands.
She was sure he could hear how loud her heartbeat
was.
Their fingers touched and she wanted to step back. The
spark between them.
"Thank you angel." Damn him.

He walked over to the board and started writing on it, all

the main points from their presentation.
"This is what every bank is pitching. We have heard it
enough times to just not go with it."
Alone held back tears as he shot down almost all their
ideas, asking them questions that made her want to cry.
Her eyes gleamed with unshed tears as he got to the
last thing they presented on.
"But this? This has potential, why didn't you guys dwell
on this?"

He circled it in that handwriting of his as his calculative

eyes scanned all of them.
"This is the reason why we might invest with you. No
one has thought of it. Another pitch on Friday morning.
On this specifically. This wasn't supposed to be a
brainstorming session so do better please!"

Alone's boss scrambled to apologise and Alone nodded.

She sat up right and they all shook hands. Shawn being
the last one to shake her hand. He didn't let go of her
hand as she blinked back her tears. Instead of leaving
like everyone, he chose to remain. Her boss gave Alone
a look. She had a lot of explaining to do and she was
going to get an earful for today's presentation.

As soon as the person closed the door, leaving Alone

with Shawn, her tears rolled down her cheeks but she
wiped them away.
He got up from the chair and wrapped his hands around
her waist.
"O tsaya kae mokgwa wa go lebala monna
waago?"(where do you get the habit of forgetting your
man?)

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~28~

Alone's lips parted at his intense stare and he squeezed

her waist harder waiting for an answer.
"Sha-" her mind was a jumbled mess. Her tears still
rolled down her cheeks and he wiped them with his
thumb, she looked so delicate.
"You disappeared Shawn. How am I supposed to
remember when you became nothing but a memory that
haunts me?"
He smiled.
"So we have a solid agreement that I'm your man?"
Alone couldn't help the chuckle that left her lips as she
tried to gently push him away but he didn't budge.
"And you let me, I told you that I still love you a bo nteba
ditsebe tse."
A sexy chuckle left his lips and she closed her eyes. He
wasn't hers. Her eyes went to his finger but there was
no ring there.
"I failed to get you out of my system." He shrugged.
"I did. Ntlogele."(let go of me)

He didn't. Instead he picked her up and placed her on

the table before he stood between her legs, his hands
still firmly on her waist and his fingers dangerously close
to the zip on her hip.
"Shawn…you're married."
"I told you to not think about it."
She shook her head as more tears welled in her eyes.
She had told herself that if he is married, she lets go.
Apologise and move on.
"I think about it. We got each other out of our systems."
He pushed her into him and she felt his erection. It was
ten in the morning for crying out loud. He held the locket.
"You were my locket Lolo, you celebrate my birthday
every year and have my birthday tattooed on your wrist.
Look in my eyes and tell me you don't love me
anymore."
She shook her head. He can't do this to her.
"Don't do this to me."
"Answer me Alone."
"I love you okay? I love you more than my miserable life
okay Shawn? I look for you in every man and I didn't
want to believe Kgotla was you because I search for you
everywhere. I love you ee."

He removed his glasses and placed them on the table to

kiss her and she froze for a minute. Her conscience
telling her to stop this because he was married. Another
woman's husband for crying out loud. Her idiotic heart
wanted him and she kissed him back, getting flashbacks
of Friday night and she whimpered.
"I'm the only man who calls you angel, you have no right
to forget me when I still crave you." He harshly
whispered in her ear as her shirt was unbuttoned,
revealing the black lacy bra.
"When you're in my dreams. When I'm willing to go
against warnings because you're here. You have no
f*cking right to forget me Alone."
He was already unzipping her dress and pushing it up
her legs.

She heard his zip and cry left her lips when he plunged
into her after shifting her thong to the side.
"You're mine Alone." He moved in fast strokes, his hand
on her waist, the other one pulling at her braids with his
mouth covering hers.
She trembled against him, crumpling his shirt.
"Kiss me back angel."
He watched her struggle to kiss him back and with one
final stroke, he watched her come undone on the
boardroom table. He kissed her one last time before he
came and slid out of her. He was never going to get
enough of her.

He tucked himself in and fixed his pants as she breathed

hard, he was tempted to suck her tits but he saved that
for later.

Alone finally straightened up and he was in front of her.

He helped her stand and started buttoning her shirt.
"Is it a matching set?"
"F*ck you Shawn."
"O batla round two? I'm game."(you want round two?)
She held back tears.
"So you are cheating. Shamelessly or is this your way of
hurting me for hurting you years back? By trying to make
me your side chick?"
He finished buttoning up her shirt and fixed her skirt for
her, tucking it in as she smiled painfully.
"I-I know I hurt you. Don't do this to me."
"You're giving yourself a title that's not yours. I told
everyone you're my wife."
"And everyone will know I'm not. Shawn your aim is to
hurt me right? And you're already winning because all
my heart wanted and still wants is you. You're still going
to go home to another woman who is not me. Make love
to her and have kids with her and I'll be in the
background begging for a quarter of your love. Don't
hurt me like that. My heart is too fragile for that."

He licked his lips as her eyes reflected pain. Nothing but

that and hurt.
"I'm not going to hurt you Lolo."
He placed his forehead against hers.
"I'll never hurt you intentionally, I'm serious about you."
"But you are married Shawn. That and I'll be a
homewrecker if you break things off with your wife for
me, I almost ruined your life once please let me go.
You've been doing okay without me, you have it all. And
that's all I wanted for you. To be finally doing okay and
successful. I might not even live long enough, we met
again and I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry for what I said at
sixteen. I was forced and you'd never rape me. I didn't
want my mother to ruin your life before it even started. I
love you…so so much."

He held her face.

"Alone, I don't care what your reasoning is. I'm not
letting you go. Ever. Wipe your tears Mrs Kgotla
because I'm here to stay. I let myself be pushed away
because I was young but not this time. Your self
sacrificing is not necessary okay? I'm here." He pulled
her to him and she cried in his chest.
"Just relax and let me handle everything. Ha gona ko o
ya teng. O wame."(you're not going anywhere. You're
mine)

***

At the apartment, Owame sent Lorato pictures of

Shawn's shirt from Friday. She had found it in the
laundry basket as well as condoms in his pants.

Lorato called immediately.

"Already? You were right. I'm coming to the city
tomorrow. We are switching back places."
"So soon?"
"Our mission is complete. I wonder who the trashy girl
is. I'm going to drag her gore on Facebook. O tlwaetswa
ke eng banna ba batho?(why is she after people's
men?)and I'm going to sue her bo 400k and the divorce
settlement? This cheating was a genius plan, I get to
walk away with his things even though the marriage is
not in community of property."

Lorato laughed.
"Money! We are about to be more than a million richer
very soon. Good job."
"Thanks."
"Hmm…life is good waitse. Let me start packing. Le
wena start packing, leave my expensive persumes and
designer labels though."
Owame looked around the apartment. Going back to
that one room of hers and struggling again?
"You're coming tomorrow?"
"Yes. Mission is complete. You have to go back, don't
forget you are living my life."
"Okay…I'll start packing."
"Good."
Lorato cut the call and Owame bit her lip. Shawn won't
say no to sex and he thinks she's Lorato so obviously he
won't use protection. If she falls pregnant, she'll have
security regardless of the possibility of this blowing up in
their faces. She had an idea.

She walked to the shower.

***

At FNBB
Alone breathed in and out, looking at him.
"You're real?"
He pecked her lips.
"I'm here aren't I?"
"Shawn don't hurt me. Ka go rapela."(I beg of you)
He pulled her to him and she pushed him back.
"You got me in trouble with my boss."
"Your presentation sucked Alone."
She hit his chest.
"I hate you so much."
"That's not the behavious of someone who was on my
d*ck less than an hour ago." She fixed herself one last
time, preparing to leave and face her boss.
"On a serious note, it bored the hell out of me and you
could do better. Fix that."
She rolled her eyes at him and she turned to walk out of
the boardroom, her heels clicking on the tile and he
watched her behind with a little smile.
She turned to look at him as she opened the door.
"My office? At lunch?"
He grinned. F*cking yes.
He winked at her and she laughed closing the door,
leaving him in there.
𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~29~

Alone sat down in her boss' office and she waited for the
crtique. Her boss looked at her and Alone placed her
hands over the desk, nervous.
"Ms Puso, I am disappointed in you and your team.
Maybe it's the grief and the pitch should have been
given to others because that was embarrassing."
"I'm sorry. I'll do better."
"You better because you can't have low quality work. We
will be dealing with their billions and it already shows
incompetence."
"I understand and we'll work on it."
"Good. Another thing, your husband…"
"My husb-ooh! That."
Her boss looked at her. Waiting for an explanation.
"We're estranged. We got married while in Uni and we
never got to annul the marriage and all. Just grew apart
and we went to different universities in different
countries."
"I was wondering why you are using your maiden
name."
"It's that and this is the first time seeing him in years."
"Okay. You should probably get divorced if you want to
mlve on."
"I definitely will. Can I leave."
"Of course."

She got up and walked out of the office. Shawn being

back might be the happiness she needed or her worst
heartbreak.

She walked to her office and locked the door once she
was inside. She sat on her chair and closed her eyes,
she could still feel him inside her. That husky angel'
escaping his lips while he buried himself to the hilt inside
of her and hearing him whimper a bit as he came inside
of her. She buried the thoughts of his wife, choosing to
feign ignorance. For now.

She checked the time. Lunch hour was in two hours and
he'll be here again. She blushed. She wasn't going to be
able to get any work done today was she? She'll meet
her team tomorrow. They needed a break after Shawn
made all of them cry.

***

At C Corporations
Shawn and his accompanying colleagues were in the
baordroom with Lucas as they gave him feedback.
"Shawn made them cry."
Lucas looked at Shawn who shrugged. They needed to
develop a thick skin, it wasn't his fault.
"And to be honest, that was the best pitch we have
heard in a while."
Shawn raised a brow.
"I was sold on one thing in the pitch and they need to
focus on it. Better feedback will be delivered on Friday.
Today felt more like a brainstorming session, I'm the
client. I shouldn't be doing the thinking for them."

His co-workers looked at him. Was he really that

heartless to shoot his own wife's work down and call it
mediocre?

"Shawn that was your wife."

"So? Work and personal life are separate and they don't
connect in any way. If it's sub par it's that and I only go
for the best."
"If I was her, I'd divorce you with immediate effect."
"Thank God, you're not her."
She kept quiet as Shawn paged through the file he got.
His co-workers left the boardroom and he was left with
Lucas.
"I trust your judgement but isn't your wife a stay at home
wife?"
He chuckled removing his glasses. He should go get
new contacts. He almost laughed remembering that
Alone called him a blind cheater.
"O bua ka wa le scammer'a?(you mean the scammer?)
Nah, my wife is a corporate baddie."
Lucas laughed.
"You're cheating?"
"Me? Never. She was playing checkers and I'm playing
chess now."
He shook his head laughing.
"Okay kiddo." He walked out leaving Shawn alone. He
took out his phone and looked at all the conversations
the imposter has been having with the scammer wife.
He saw the pictures of the shirt Alone kissed. He should
thank her later for unknowingly contributing to his plan.
He listened to the conversation as a recording and he
chuckled.
That was fast, some red lipstick and condoms and
already she wants to come back? He exited the app, he
should probably get Mia flowers for this little app and
that file that is sitting nicely waiting to make a grand
appearance. This was chess and he was in control.
He checked the time and pocketed his phone. He should
push an hour of work before seeing Alone for lunch.

***

Alone was called by reception and she answered with a

smile.
"Let him in."

She placed her phone down and cleared her desk. She
sprayed her perfume and reapplied lipstick and she felt
sixteen again, getting ready to take walks with him. Her
hair was fine.

The door knock alerted her that he was here.

"Come in." He stepped inside the office, her perfume
reaching him. It's not like he never noticed how put
together she always was when he took her for walks.
"How long is your lunch?"
"An hour."

He stood by the door.

"Get your things and let's go."
She got up and picked her bag walking to the door. He
placed his hand on the small of her back and kissed her
passionately. He closed the door and they started
walking down the stairs together.
"Where are we going?"
"You'll see angel. I also want to see your place."
"Why?"
"Where do you think I'll be sleeping?" He said it so
casually and in the back of her mind, she knew she
wasn't his wife. Maybe he was being public about this
because his wife might be in the UK. Maybe he met a
white girl there. 'Alone don't think about it. Enjoy the
now.' Her mind chastised.

"Babe, where did you go?" She looked into his eyes and
she was sure he could see right through her.
He squeezed her waist.
"Trust me. I won't hurt you."
"Okay." She smiled at him.

***

Owame looked at her reflection and the hairstyle she

just got.
"You are so beautiful."
"Thank you." she paid and smiled. New hairstyle. He
wasn't going to say no to her. He wouldn't.

She walked out of the salon with a smile. She should

take a cab home. She called the cab and it took ten
minutes to come get her.
"Hi."
"Hello."

She got inside the car.

***

Gaborone traffic by the UB turn was slow, lunch hour

and every employee wanting to go for lunch.
Owame watched the cars and they stopped by the traffic
lights and a black range rover stopped on the other side
of the cab. She frowned as she recognised the driver.
That was Shawn right? She really looked and he wasn't
looking anywhere but at the traffic and his companion. A
woman? She opened her bag to look for her phone to
take a picture but the robots opened and the car sped
off.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆
~30~

At Cappucino's the newly reunited couple sat by the dim

corner of the restaurant as Alone sipped on her juice
while eating the fries from Shawn's plate. The elation
that came with being in his presence. Like this. All
comfortable and enjoying each other's company.
"So that's basically that. Nothing really hectic happened
well except losing my aunt Meme a few days ago."
He placed the coffee cup down and took her hand to rub
it. His ring tattoa was there and she wanted to ask
questions.
"And how are you holding up? And Lolo, you got a
beating within an inch of your life. That's not okay."
"It's better than sending you to jail right?" She laughed
nervously.
"Right? I can't joke about it yet? Sorry. I'm okay, I
survived. I'm still navigating grief so I'll be fine." She
didn't even mention her testing positive for the gene
mutation. Maybe it was nothing, she wasn't sick now.
He sighed as she moved back to eating from her plate.
"You're not."
She kept quiet and stabbed her fork into the lasagna.
"How did you land a job at C Corporations?" She was
changing the topic.
"I interned there during summer break, it was quite the
experience and I will always be grateful for the
opportunity to work there."
"And that's how you met your wife right? Do you love
her? I promise I won't throw a fit or anything."
"Alone!"
"I just want to know. I know you don't owe me any
explanations but at least tell me this one thing."

Shawn removed his glasses.

"No. I met her here and what I had for her was love at
some point."

Alone's heart broke and she nodded as she brought the

fork to her lips.
"But I wasn't in love with her. I've never been in love with
her. I'm in love with you."
He held her hands and kissed them.
"If I wasn't stuck on you, I would have long removed this
tattoo." she looked at it again. 'AP' . It toom a minute for
realisation to set in.
"My initials." He nodded. She kissed him from across the
table then sat down.
She smiled. She needed to hear that that he loves her
just as much.
Alone checked the time.
"My lunch hour will be up before we go to my place, how
about you follow my car after work?"
"Fine by me."

They shared a kiss that was interrupted by a call. They

brome it and Alone guiltily took out her phone from her
bag to answer it.

"Hello mama."
"Hi my girl, are you busy this weekend?"
She looked at Shawn. She was busy. Definitely busy.
"Yes. What is it?"
"I was invited to a wedding and I wanted to go with you."
"I can't this weekend. Maybe next time."
"Alright. How are you?"
"I'm fine. I have to go. Bye."
"Bye."

She cut the call and put her phone back in her bag.

***
Hours later, at the apartment Owame cooked a
wholesome dinner. She was going to feed him and this
child she will be pregnant with will be her only way of
security. She should have thought about it sooner.

She took out her phone to call him. He answered.

"Hello."
"Hi my love. What time will you back?"
"I said don't wait up."
"I won't but what time?"
"Around midnight."

She hummed as she turned the veggies in the pan.

"Alright my love. Bye."
"Bye."

He cut the call and she smiled some more. She also
wanted to know why Lorato didn't want her to have sex
with him. She will be finding out tonight, she couldn't
wait.

She lowered the heat as she continued humming.

***
Alone parked her car as Shawn's car parked behind
hers. She got out of the car with her things but he
caught up to her and took them from her hands.
"Is your cooking still horrible?"
She hit his chest.
"I'm offended. I think I'm better now. A decent cook."
"I'm cooking for us. I'm not risking it." She rolled her
eyes at him.

She unlocked the door and he followed her.

"Welcome to my humble abode." He looked around and
when he got to the bedroom he put her things down.
"Did you have men over here?" She opened her mouth
and closed it. Only Oteng. Why was he asking?
Shawn pulled her to him.
"I'm not f*cking you in the same bed or house you had
other men in."
Her mouth opened in shock. He wasn't serious.
"So not even tonight."
"No."
"That's not fair."
"Look for another place."
"Sh-"
"We can do it this weekend, house hunting."
Alone sighed.
"That's inconveniencing me."
"I'll look for it ee." He'll look for it and pay for it himself.
He had no problem with getting her whatever she
needed or wanted. He kissed her forehead then her lips
before he picked her up looking for the bathroom.

***

Owame sat on the couch in lingerie waiting for Shawn. It

was almost one am and he wasn't back yet. She
yawned but tried not to fall asleep. She had tried calling
him but no answer. He had said around midnight. Her
eyes closed because of fatigue and she fell asleep on
the couch.

***

At Alone's place, She was nestled in the crook of

Shawn's neck and sleeping and breathing very
peacefully in a long while. Shawn was also fast asleep.
Heart content too with her in his arms.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆
~31~

Around 6am, Alone's alarm started ringing in the room

shattering the soft snores that were in the room. Shawn
woke up first upon hearing it and he picked her phone to
silence it before he stretched and checked the time, half
asleep.

He breathed into her neck before whispering.

"Lolo?"
"Hmm?" She still had her eyes closed. Two more
minutes of sleep won't kill her.
"I'm leaving okay?"
That made her open her eyes to look at him.
"Okay." She turned her back to him and Shawn sighed
as he got up from the bed. He got his clothes from the
stool in her room and got dressed. Alone closed her
eyes, hearing the ruffle of clothes and him zipping up his
pants. He walked over to the bedside table and wore his
glasses before he crouched by the side of the bed.
"Lolo?"
"Shawn, you said you're leaving."
"Look at me angel."
She did and she looked at his handsome face.
"I love you okay?"
"Ee rra." She attempted to turn and face the other way
but he placed his hand over her exposed shoulders.
"Later today we'll talk about you moving."
"You can't force me."
"Lolo…"
"I don't want to move."
He looked at her for a minute before he kissed her
forehead.
"We'll talk about it later. Go back to sleep."
"You are not hearing me."
"I am. Loud and clear angel, we'll talk later." He held her
chin to kiss her lips and she kissed him back.
"You don't have to leave now." Her voice was a whisper
as she uttered that mid-kiss.
"I do." He broke the kiss and rubbed her lips.
"Call me when you get to work okay?"
"Okay." He straightened up and he looked at her one
last time before he walked out of the room. Alone closed
her eyes, waiting to hear the front door open and close.
When it did, she closed her eyes and breathed in and
out. She heard his car start outside, he was going back
to his wife. It was obvious. She tried not to think about
his wife but whoever she is, the fact that she existed
made her heart break a thousand times over. But he
asked her to trust him. She'll do just that. For now.
***

At the apartment, Shawn parked his car outside with

other cars from the complex. It was almost seven. He
had to be fast and go to work. He stepped inside and it
was at this moment he thanked his lucky stars that they
got the ground floor apartment. He used his key to
unlock it. He got inside and turned to lock the door
before he tried to head to his room.

He stopped in his tracks, seeing Owame sleeping on the

couch. In lingerie? What the actual f*ck? He shook his
head. He didn't have time for this. He just passed her,
not bothering to cover her up with a blanket or anything
of that sort as he headed to his room.

A minute later, Owame opened her eyes as she yawned

ans stretched her arms. She looked around the room,
she thought she heard the door open. It was quiet for a
minute before she heard the shower running in the other
room. Oh.

She got up and walked barefoot to her room. She

removed the decadent piece of clothing and wore her
robe to hide her nakedness. She trotted over to Shawn's
room. She knocked on the door, hearing the shower still
running. This was still her last chance before Lorato
came back later today.
She dropped her robe on the floor and quietly walked to
the shower. She opened the door and closed it before
she opened the shower curtain.

Shawn paused under water as Owame got in.

"Get out!" She was startled.
"Shawn you've been begging me for months and now
that I'm here you are chasing me away?"
"Respect yourself please! Get out." Tears filled her eyes
as he turned and continued showering. He didn't even
look at her body.
"I'm your wife.."
"Wives respect themselves. I didn't invite you to join my
shower did I? Itote Lorato.(respect yourself)

Her tears rolled down her cheeks as she opened the

curtain to get out. She quickly walked out of the
bathroom, picking her robe on the way to her room. She
burst into tears. Had she thought of this earlier when he
had wanted sex more than eight months ago then
maybe she would be close to giving birth right now.

She wiped her tears sniffing as she walked into the

shower in her room. She hoped Lorato would give her
money, she should also take some of those designer
bags to sell them and the designer clothes. She can
make enough money to keep her afloat.

Shawn got out of the shower feeling refreshed. He got

dressed while keeping track of time. Would he be able to
get to work a bit late? He wanted to take Alone out for
breakfast. He doubted she was going to eat something.

He sprayed his cologne, brushing his fade carefully

before he wiped the smudged glasses and wore them.

He was fine. He wore his gold watch, leaving the gold

ring on the table yet again.

He checked his bag for his iPad and wireless keyboard

along with a few things before he zipped it close and
walked out of his room. Owame watched him.
"Shawn you're hurting me."
He glanced at her only once and she swallowed.
"I was fool for begging for months then?"
"N-no b-"
"Let's keep the same energy, tshiboga hoo mma ke
late."(move out of the way, I'm late)
"Your ring?"
"Motho wa Modimo, go phakela."(for Christ's sake, it's
still morning)
She watched him walk away and she sighed. Lorato will
deal with all of these. But she had lived with him for
months and he has never treated her like this. Ever.

She walked back to the bedroom. She found a missed

call from Lorato. She called back.
"Hello?"
"Leave the ring and cards on the table. Even that sim
card because that's the number Shawn knows. Leave
that and you said you are at a complex right? Phakalane
akere?"
"Yes."
"Give me the apartment number and don't lock the door.
I doubt no one would come in. I'll be close by. Has he
gone to work?"
"Yes. He is just about to leave."
"Okay. An hour after he leaves, get gone Owame. I'll call
you and I know where to find you."
"Sharp!"

Owame cut the call and sighed. She checked her

suitcases and decided to add more of Lorato's nice
things. Including the perfumes and shoes.
𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~32~

At the apartment, Owame took one last look at

everything that was there. Out of three of Lorato's cards,
she took at least one. The one that Shawn usually
deposited money into and Lorato had told her to forward
most of the money to her. She took the expensive phone
and left the simcard on the table.

She swallowed as she walked to the door dragging the

two expensive suitcases with her after calling a cab. She
breathed out. Time to go back to her one room and wait.
She dragged the two suitcases out of the apartment with
a little smile and waited for the cab.

An hour later, Lorato walked inside the house. She

looked at the apartment distastefully. It wasn't something
she would choose, she needed it nore lavish not this
simple. It was not going to do. She should tell Shawn to
move them.

She walked to the room and walked inside the bedroom

that smelled of her perfume. She looked at the table.
Her ring was there. She quickly got it and wore it. How
was she going to go about this? Does she sleep with
him so that she has more grounds over him during the
divorce? She had so many ideas. She opened the
wardrobe and her jaw dropped.
"That b*tch!" Where were her deisgner handbags?
Shoes? Ungrateful was what Owame was. She was
going to go there and demand her things back.

She walked over to the table and looked closely. One of

her cards was missing. Wasn't it enough that she lived
softly for the past few months? She had to steal her
things? A street rat wilk always be a street rat.
"Nxla!"
She took out the simcard in her phone and inserted her
original simcard.

She didn't see Shawn's clothes in the wardrobe. She got

up with her phone in hand and checked again. Still
nothing. She walked out of the room and waited for her
phone to have network as she opened the door to the
closed room. All of Shawn's things were here but she
frowned seeing the ring on the dresser. He was even
leaving without his ring?

She laughed. That girl was in for a shock, so he

probably lied and said he wasn't married. She was going
to make her life hell before suing. She needed more
money or she could blackmail the girl to give her money
every week. It depends on who it was. Maybe he was
cheating with trashy low end wh*res who were
desperate and they couldn't compare to her. She was
educated and it had been her decision to not put her
Sociology degree to use.

She called Shawn. It took him over five minutes to

answer her call.
"I was busy, what is it?"
"Is that how you speak to you wife?"

***

At Shawn's office shook his head. He could tell he was

now speaking to Lorato.
"What do you want?"
"I have a surprise for you later today, come home
earlier."
"I have work, I'll be working late."
"Okay. I'll wait up."
"Sure." He cut the call and he was sure Lorato was
surprised.

He called his lawyer.

"Hello."
"Shawn."
"Did you see the files and the recordings?"
"Yes. I've drawn up the papers. Should she refuse to
sign, she'll be charged with a lot of crimes including
identity fraud."
"That's what I love to hear. Wait for me to tell you to
serve her."
"Alright. Next time please do your research on
people..you were almost swindled out of your assets."
He chuckled.
"I will. I have to go. Thanks."

He cut the call and saw his phone report Alone's

message.

Mrs Shawn Kgotla:I got the breakfast sent to

me Thank you baby.

He smiled and he typed a message back before he put

his pjone away and continued with work. He didn't
manage to take her out for breakfast but he did order
breakfast to be delivered to her.

When he had thought no one would call, it started

ringing. He should put it on silence but what if Alone
calls? He checked the caller ID. He sighed and
answered.
"Kagiso."
"Hello. Now that you're in thr country, I wanted to ask
you what your plans are for that piece of land you
bought three years back."
Shawn looked at his desk, he should take new pictures
with Alone and have one at his desk.
"I haven't thought about it. I just arrived and just settled
bsck in the country."
"You're getting older Shawn. You are already married
and you should be thinking if your kids and raising kids
in an apartment wouldn't be jdeal. And not rhat you are
here, you can properly build and supervise it yourself."

He kept quiet for a minute.

"You have a point. Kids weren't on my high list of
priorities at the moment." Would Alone want a baby? He
should ask her what her ideal house is and get her to do
the choosing rhe design and paint colours. Women had
a knack for this, he saw how Fiona's ideas for her own
house turned out to be actually great.
"And who'll carry your family name?"
"Different strokes for different folks Kagiso. I'll talk to her
and we'll plan our house." Her meaning Alone but it was
a tidbit his brother didn't need to know at this exact
moment.
"Good. I can't believe I raised you from the time you
were eight till now. You're a full grown man now."
Shawn laughed.
"Thank you. I know for sure I was a c*ckblocker."
Kagiso laughed.
"Wa lapisa Shawn."(you're annoying)
"I have to go."
"Alright. Bye."
"Go sharp."

He cut the call and placed his phone down.

***

At FNBB

Alone and her team sat in the boardroom, finally

together after their disastrous presentation on Monday.
"And bosslady didn't say her 'husband' was the one we
should impress."
"We're estranged. How was I to know?"
"Him making you almost cry with those questions would
be a grounds to divorce." One of her team members
said and she laughed shaking her head.
"Divorce? He was here at lunch for bosslady."
"Okay, enough about my personal life. We have a
presentation to work on. This is our last chance."
"Kana bosslady he made us cry."
She sat down on the office chair in her dress and blazer.
The fact that he had been true to his word yesterday and
he didn't even touch her inappropriately last night
because 'I don't want to f*ck you in a house were you
had other men'. Such a killjoy. Maybe she should look
for a house, if she was going to f*ck a married man they
might as well do the actual f*cking.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~33~

Owame sat by the benches in the bus station as she

inserted her simcard in her phone. At least she hadn't
stupidly sold her things and although her degree in film
was useless at this point, it was what she had qualified
for at that time. She got up and walked to the nearest
ATM. She cashed out a couple of thousands. It won't be
long till Lorato blocks the card after realising she went
with it. She hummed and as the atm spit out the two
hundred and one hundred motes, she put them in her
bag. Maybe she should rent somewhere Lorato won't
find her but if Lorato doesn't find her it means that she'll
not get her share of the money. She bit her lip before
she decided to go board a combi to take her to her one
room.

***

At the apartment, Lorato rolled her eyes when her

simcard reported the large withdrawal. She had tried to
let it go but that was a huge amount.

She called Owame. Her phone just rang with no answer.

She quickly typed a message.

Lorato:Ke jaaka o ituetse.(you just laid yourself) For all

my good will you steal from me? Mxm!

She finished packing up Shawn's lunch. She wanted to

go do her own investigation, maybe the woman is at his
office. She looked around. She needed her own car and
she had left before he got it. Dumb move but she'll ask
for it.

She put it in a cooler along with a bottle of water and

juice. She called her lover as she trotted to the bedroom
to get ready.

"Hey my love."
"How long will you be there for?"
"As long as it takes to get the money."
He sighed.
"I make enough money for the both of us and you got
your inheritance from your grandfather's Will."
"We agreed."
"You're going to sleep with him."
"He's my husband. Of course I'm going to sleep with him
for him not to be suspicious. We talked about this my
baby."
She could feel his frustration. She opened the wardrobe
and picked out a pair of heels and a cute dress. Thank
God she did her hair. She'll tell him she undid her
previous hairstyle should he ask. Men don't bother too
much with these things.
"Lorato, this is going to hurt me."
"It's for the greater good and we'll be together forever.
I'm already pregnant."

Her lover swallowed at the end of the line. He had a

feeling that she is going to pin the pregnancy on the rich
husband.
"We'll be a million richer. That man makes almost six
hundred thousand a month just from working at C
Corporations,a global company and that's big bucks. A
million is small change to him. He probably earns more
than that if he has been given a higher rank because I
don't know if he got promoted or what while I was away."
She explained for the one thousandth time.
"Okay. I have to go."
"I love you okay? And I'm doing this for us. So we can
have a secure future."
"Okay. I love you too."
"I'll call later."
"Bye."

She cut the call and she placed the phone down. A quick
shower and she'll be off to C Corporations to drop lunch.
It was almost lunch hour.

***

At C Corporations

Shawn read the email a couple of times. They have got

ti be kidding him.

A door knock made him look up.

"Come in."
Mia walked in.
"I saw the flowers. Thank you, not sure if my husband
will be pleased but glad to be of service."
"I don't even know how you got pictures sent of them
together."
"Some hacking here and there into store CCTV cameras
made the whole thing easier while I had her location.
The rest is up to me."
"Yep. Thank you."
"Anytime. Let me go." She closed the door and he
stared at the email. This was going to be a long long
year or two that's for sure. He just came back and was
so busy.

He started noting a few things down on his notepad

***

A few minutes before lunch hour, Alone looked up at the

door and smiled.
"Hey angel. Ready for lunch?"
"Yes. I thought about what you said…"
He leaned against the door frame as she got her
handbag and slid on her heels.
"I love that dress on you."
"Thank you."
Sbe walked over to him and kissed him. He kissed her
back, wrapping a strong hand around her waist. Shr
smiled at him with twinkling eyes.
"I'll look for a house."
He didn't want to scare her yet by telling her to go with
him for meetings with the architecture and the surveyor
so they can look at the piece of land he had. Maybe
after a month. He just got her back after ten years of
emotional turmoil and he'll do anything for it to last.
"Now?"
"Ng. We can look and get the process done over the
course of this week. You'll help me move akere on the
weekend?"
"Ee mma."
"Yes. We can get lunch on the way..ebike order now so
we pick up the order while househunting."
He chuckled.
"Yes ma'am."
He pecked her lips and led her out.
"Babe?"
"Rra?"
"Are you free two weeks from now?"
She thought about it. She didn't have much scheduled
besides the regular meetings and her normal day to day
work on client portfolios and bank issues.
"Not really, what is it?"
"Do you mind taking a week off work?"
She looked at him suspiciously.
"I'll have to see if I still have off days left. What are you
planning?"
"I have work trip to Paris and I wanted to take you with."
Her face lit up looking up at him.
"Paris? As in France? The place that was on our 'places
to travel' list,"
"Yes."
"You'll be working."
"A week has seven days, I'll be working for the first three
days.."
She thought about it.
"Sure you want me there?"
"Very sure."
"I'll get back to you tomorrow ee."

They passed by reception and Alone thought about the

Paris offer. It was the city of love and obviously it was
going to be so romantic. Should she learn a bit of
French just to get by?

They walked to the parking lot.

"What will I need? I'm sure there are nice stores there
akere Milan o ko France?"(Milan is in France?)
"Yes angel. You don't have to bring anything much and
what you want to buy you'll use my card."
"I have my own money."
"I know. That's your money for your own things."

He unlocked the car and opened the door for her.

"Flight tickets a-"
"Company jet."
Must be nice working for such a rich company that kept
on making money every year.

He put her seatbelt on and kissed her cheeks before

closing the door and walking to his side.

***

Lorato got out of the cab. Traffic had delayed her coming
here on time. She saw the building. With the confidence
of a runway model, she strutted to the doors that opened
automatically when they sensed her. She fixed the
fakest smile as she greeted the receptionist.
"Good afternoon."
"Hi ma'am. May I help you?"
"I'd like to see Mr Kgotla please."
The receptionist who had seen him walk out looked at
the lady.
"He left almost thirty minutes ago, he's not in his office."
"Really?"
"Yes ma'am. Do you have an appointment to see him so
I may let him know he had a guest."
"Mrs Kgotla was here."

The receptionist tried to hide her surprise but dismally

failed.
"Of course ma'am."

Lorato walked out. She checked the time. Did he go buy

lunch? Or see the woman he was cheating on her with?
That's why she needed a car ASAP. She had time on
her hands.

Her phone rang in her bag and she took it out. Why was
that fake woman calling her? She answered the call.
"Hello."
"Hello Fiona."
"Lorato, I hope I didn't catch you at a bad tjme. There is
a wedding this weekend and Kagiso and I were
wondering if you and Shawn would like to come."
She wanted to say something offhand to Fiona but she
thought about it. She could use this weekend to her
advantage.
"I'll let Shawn know, send the details and we'll be there."
"Perfect. And I genuinely enjoyed dinner the other day.
So glad we finally buried the hatchet."
She rolled her eyes.
"Me too. I have to go."
"By-"

She cut the call before Fiona finished speaking.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~34~

Shawn had made some calls and now they were viewing
a very cute house. It had a small backyard pool, three
bedrooms and it was spacious. Looked newly built too.
Shawn saw how happy she looked as she walked into
the kitchen and the dining room.
"I love it."
"Finally a house you love."
"The last one we saw was okay-ish."
"Whatever you say."

She walked around the house one last time.

"I'll talk to the guy and tell him we'll take it."
"Thank you."
She kissed him and he pulled her into him as she
laughed. He squeezed her behind and she smiled
breaking the embrace.
"Let's get going."
"Yes ma'am." He spanked her and she laughed walking
ahead of him.
"Behave."
He fixed his pants as he trailed behind her.

***

Unlike the day before, he wasn't there when she

knocked off work. She smiled a bit. She was starting to
enjoy this arrangement of his. It has been a long while
since she had been really happy. Was this her aunt
doing what other ancestors do? Making sure she was
happy? She really hoped so because two weeks from
now she was going to Paris. Her leave might be
approved tomorrow. She'll finally have a break.
She got inside her car and started the car.

Along the way, her petrol tank indicated red and she
closed her eyes. Sh*t! She was far from the petrol
station and she hadn't even thought about refilling her
tank. She slowly drove off the road and closed her eyes.
Dammit.

She searched her bag for her phone to call Shawn. Or

was he with his wife?

She called him.

"The number you have diall-"

"Yoh! Yoh!"

It's only been a single day and his number was

unavailable? She breathed in and out. Maybe her petrol
can had something. She was lying to herself, it had
nothing. She tried to call him again but it said the same
thing.

She got out of the car as other cars passed her BMW X5
and she leaned against it. The sun was starting to set.
A car stopped and a man walked out.
"Hi, I saw you by the side of the road. Is there a
problem?"
"Hello. Unfortunately I forgot to refuel and it's kind of
dying on me."
"You have a nice car."
"Thanks. Yours looks nice too."
He smiled.
"What fuel does it run on?"
"Diesel."
He chuckled.
"Unfortunately I have petrol but I can pass by the filling
station for you-"

Her phone rang.

"One second." She answered the call as she walked a
few steps away.
"Shawn."
"I'm sorry I missed your call. Just knocked off and my
phone was off. I connected it to the car a few minutes
ago. What js it?"
"My car is out of fuel. I'm stuck by the side of the road."
"Pin your direction and what fuel do you need?"
"Diesel."
"Okay, I'm on my way. Staty put. I'm sorry I didn't answer
your first call."
"Sure."

She cut the call and walked over to where that man was.
"Someone said they'll bring the diesel, thank you for
stopping though."
"Okay."

She expected him to walk away but he looked at her

instead.
"I'll just wait for your person, just for safety purposes."
"Okay."

He looked at her again, how tiny her waist was in that

dress and her curves. There was no ring on her finger
so that meant it was anyone's game.

She was too beautiful. Not the type you bring home to
mama to marry but the type that gives you wild sex and
you keeo just until you find the one. She looked far from
being marriagr material. Men didn't want extremely
beautiful women as wives, they needed peace and
stability.
"Tla bo ke le phoso to know your name?"(Will I be wrong
to know your name?)
"Alone."
"Pretty name for a pretty woman."
"Thank you."
"I'm Kennedy."
"Nice to meet you."

She looked at her phone again. He shouldn't take long.

"And how did you forget to refuel?"
"Busy days filled with work."

He looked at her again. He decided he'll have her.

Women like her were pretty easy to please and usually
thought about fun way too often. Men didn't marry
women who were always approached. No no. She
stretched her hands and he saw a tattoo on her wrist.
Yep. For the street.

"I'd like to take you out."

Alone tilted her head. He looked fine yes but as stupid

as it sounded, she was loyal to that married fool she was
waiting for.
"I'll have to decline. Thanks for the offer."
"You aren't married. I don't see a ring on your finger."
"And how is that your business? Maybe I left it at home."
"Maybe but if you were, you would be wearing a ring.
Women love marriage to that extent."

She rolled her eyes even though she knew that that
would be the case if she was married.

"I mean if you aren't married, it's anyone's fair game.

That man you might be with might not marry you and
you're missing out on a shot of happiness."
"Bold of you to assume I'm part of a man's game. I don't
want you. You're far from being my type and you sound
fsr too conceited. Monna o tseelang gore ene o ka
n'gataka ene ga ke mo senke."(A man who thinks he
can do what he likes with me is one I'm not looking for.)

He shrugged.
"Maybe it's money. I do have the money, I can tell you
like expensive things."

Alone chuckled.
"Ehe rra." She rolled her eyes and checked her phone.
He was taking far too long to come.
She stood next to her car while the Kennedy duded
waited with her silently.

She saw Shawn's Range Rover approach and she

breathed out a sigh of relief. Finally.

He parked his car ahead of the two cars that were by the
side of the road. Kennedy saw the Range. It was too
beautiful a car. He saw a man get out of it and he
walked to the back to retrieve the jerry can.

Shawn saw the man who was waiting with Alone. He

kept his cool and he walked over to Lolo with the jerry
can. He pecked her lips.
"Sorry for not answering okay angel?"

She nodded and Kennedy watched. She wasn't married

and it was still anyone's fair game to have her. He
should know he has some competition too.

Shawn greeted him and he greeted back.

"I was with her, unfortunately I didn't have diesel. Be

careful walking around with a beautiful girl like her.
Everyone wants her, you have competition."
Shawn chuckled.
"You're the competition? You're being far too optimistic."

Lolo could hear the back handedness of the comment

and tried not to laugh.
"One day she'll be off with the next man and you'll
remember my words."
"Doubt it." He unbuttoned the first three buttons of his
shirt and rolled his sleeves up, not looking fazed by that
man's words.
"And respect my woman if that's how you normally
address yours." Shawn added.

Kennedy watched the way Alone looked at the man.

Men like that wanted stability and pity for her, she might
not get stability. Girls like her were ran through and man
would rather hit than marry. May the best man win.

He excused himself and walked to his car. He got inside

and he searched for her on Facebook. It was easy to
find her but her account was private. He looked at her
and his jaw fell. His conception about her changing. She
studied at Yale and did her Masters at Princeton? How
smart is she that she does not only get into an Ivy
League once but twice?
He continued reading. Senior Economist at FNB? He
stared out his window and he saw her laughing with the
guy who was done pouring the diesel. He saw how she
kissed him first and he kissed her first.

He went back to her Facebook profile. He clicked on the

few pictures. It was definitely that girl on the side of the
road. He sent her a friend request before he started his
car.

He joined the road and drove off.

Meanwhile Shawn looked at Alone.

"Start thr car so we can go."
"Okay." She got inside the car, checking the fuel tank.
She will have to get a full tank in the morning on her way
to work. This was fine for now.
"It's okay. Thank you baby." He walked over tj the
driver's seat and she rolled down her windows.
"Let's see who gets there first."
He chuckled and he grabbed her face to kiss her.

He broke the kiss and walked over to his car. He got

inside just as his phone started ringing. He saw the
caller ID.
"Hello."
"I've been trying to call you all day. Even passed by your
office. Are you on your way home?"
"I'm working. What did you want?"
"Your brother invited us for a wedding this weekend and
I said I'll go."
"You should have asked first. Okay."
"Thank you. I love you."
"Mmhhhh."
There was a bout of silence.
"Are you sure you're working?"
"Are you saying I'm a liar Lorato?"
"N-no I didn't say that. Bye."

He cut the call. He just had to push through the whole of

December but not like he'll be home, he'll be in Paris
during that Christmas week. What a way for his bosses
to have him go there but thankfully he'll be spending
Christmas with the woman he loves.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~35~

Alone parked her car at the wedding venue. He said he

won't be available this weekend, boring her and she
decided to take up her mother's offer to attend the
wedding.

She took out her phone to call her.

"Mama."
"Hello Lolo."
"I just arrived, o kae?"(Where are you?)
"Inside, just follow the ushers and they'll guide you into
the tent. Kana Alone, this is your cousin from my side.
It's her wedding."
"I know Mama. I'm coming."

She got out of the car. She had tucked in the braids from
her carrot and had a short bob wig on and the most
natural make-up look.

She held her little purse that matched her light lilac silk
dress. It was a last minute thing because Shawn all of a
sudden had said something about going with his wife.
She almost puked. She chose to believe him when he
said he won't sleep with her. She shook her head.
Shawn wasn't here now and she was prepared to enjoy
this wedding to the fullest.

She walked from the parking lot and when she got to the
green grass where the chairs were set up, she was
guided by the ushers inside after she told them her
name.
"This way ma'am."

Some of the guests turned their heads as she was

shown to where her mother was sitting. Her dress
clinched at her waist, showing off her figure and it had a
slit from her midthigh going down, her blemish free legs
out on display and those purple butterfly heels adding
height to her.

She saw her mom and smiled.

"Hi mama."
"So glad you could make it."
"Me too. What I thought I would be busy with got
canceled."
"It's okay ngwanake. O ntse montlenyane."(you're so
pretty)
"Thank you mama. You look beautiful too, I like the way
you did your hair."
She smiled at her only child and Alone smiled back too.

By the car parking lot, Lorato watched Shawn get out of

the car and close the door. Not even opening the door
for her. She quickly got up and the car was locked. She
half ran to catch up to him.
"Kana Shawn ga o ire sentle."(Shawn what you're doing
is not good)
He stopped in his tracks and looked at her.
"Better?"
"I'm your wife.."
"I know that. Sorry. Just work stress." He rubbed her
hand and let go. It even felt like he was cheating on
Alone. When will January come? It can't be fast enough.
"Okay. I understand."

She was planning on calling her mother to tell her to tell

the elders to talk to Shawn. She was prepared to cry
real tears and she needed him to have sex with her this
weekend. She was three weeks pregnant when she
came here and she wanted it to be easy to pin the
pregnancy on him and get more. Make him support the
baby after divorce even. Not the nonsense he has been
doing of coming home at six am.

They were guided to their seats.

Shawn spotted her the minute he sat down. In all that

purple and looking so f*cking beautiful. He kept a neutral
face as more guests flooded in. His brother and his wife
sat next to them and he chatted with his brother for a
few minutes before the wedding started.
Alone turned her pretty head and she saw Shawn then
the woman he was with. Her heart broke a little but she
faced forward as they waited for the bridegroom and his
groomsmen to come out.

It was all so beautiful when the groomsmen came out

doing some dances but then the more closely she
looked at those groomsmen the more she could see that
she recognised them. This-

"That's the groom. He's handsome isn't he? They've

been together for over two years and not oncr has she
complained about him."

She nodded, watching her ex. The one who had the
audacity to want her back when he had probably paid
magadi for her cousin. So she had been his side chick
unknowingly. She resisted the urge to clap her hands
twice in disbelief. Unfuckingbelievable.

Oten stood by the end of the aisle with a smile on his

face. He looked at the crowd waiting for his bride when
his smile dropped. It was never usually hard to miss
such beauty even if a crowded place. He swallowed and
his best man followed his gaze. He whispered in his ear.
"Pretend she isn't here. Besides she doesn't want you
anymore."
How can the girl you didn't want to lose be witness to
you marrying?
"Relax. People will notice. Besides, you knew you were
never going to marry her."
That was true. He faced forward and waited for his bride
to walk down the aisle but he couldn't help it. He kept
stealing glances at Alone who didn't look affected that
he was the one getting married. Who even invited her?

She seemed like she didn't even care. She has never
loved him has she? Of course she never did. She wore
a locket that some man gave her and even had his
birthday tattooed on her wrist. She never even tried to
sugarcoat the truth. He hoped her seeing him get
married ate her up inside and hurt her.

The bride walked out. So pretty and Lolo took out her
phone to take a short video of her cousin. She looked so
pretty.

Alone smiled. Love was beautiful even if her cousin was

marrying a cheater. She wasn't going to tell her nor ruin
it for her.

Twenty minutes later, everyone cheered. Alone smiled at

her mother.
"Weddings are always beautiful."
"One day it will be you."
She smiled more.
"I don't want to hope too much."
"You're a very beautiful girl, you will get married and
have your own family."
"Mama if only wishes were horses."
Mma Alone smiled. This was progress.
"It will happen."
"Let's wait for Tebogo's wedding first. She said she
doesn't want us to dance so next March we'll be
attending her wedding."
Her mother nodded as they all stood up to mingle before
they were going to head to another location for the food
and dance.

Fiona started talking to Lorato but Lorato wasn't even

listening as she stood next to Shawn.
"Lorato, Fiona o bua le wena."(Fiona is talking to you.)

Lorato fake smiled as she finally paid attention to a

pregnant Fiona. Fiona huffed and cut the conversation
short as she turned to speak to her husband.
Lorato sighed as she looked at Shawn. Other people
were holding their significant others' waists while Shawn
stood away from her. Like she was the plague.

Kagiso walked over to Shawn as he walked away from

Lorato, talking to a gentleman he had seen at C
Corporations.

"Shawn?"
He turned to his brother as the gentleman walked away.
"Yes?"
"Isn't that Alone?" Shawn followed his brother's gaze
with a smile.
"That's her. You remember her?"

Kagiso took a good look at the girl who had threatened

to ruin his brother's life ten years ago. He licked his lips.
He could understand why his brother would go back to
her. He saw how everyone's attention was on there but
she didn't notice.
"Let me go say hi.."
"Shawn…."
"I haven't seen her in ten years and I'm married." He
raised his hand.
Kagiso sighed as Shawn walked over to Alone. He saw
Alone's eyes widen a fraction before she tried to act
nonchalant.

Lorato walked to Kagiso.

"Who is she?"
"His senior school friend."
"Okay..she doesn't seem to recognise him."

She said observing and watching Shawn like a hawk.

Kagiso really looked. Lorato was right. She didn't seem
to recognise him. All the better even.

Alone acted surprised as Shawn stood next to her.

"Hi Alone. Remember me?"

She squinted her eyes. Her heart beat picking up. Okay
this was exciting, her pulse raced. Everyone watching
them not knowing what they do when it's the two of
them. None of them being the wiser. She played along,
hiding a smile from her face.
"Not sure."
Mma Alone looked at the tall man. She could remember
him. He turned out to be a fine young man and she
watched the interaction.
"It's Shawn."
"Shawn? as in Shawn from FFS?"
Sbe exclaimed softly and he nodded.

She proceeded to hug him, only for a second but

inhaling his cologne. Shawn savoured her soft vanilla
scent for that brief second.
"It's been years. How have you been?"

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~36~

At the wedding

Shawn smiled at her as Alone gave him a genuine smile.

"I've been good. Even got married."
"Oh my. Congratulations. Who's the lucky girl?"
Shawn beckoned at Lorato who fixed her smile. Kagiso
frowned. What was Shawn doing?
Lorato walked over to where Shawn was and took a
good lool at Alone.
"Alone, this is Lorato and Lorato, Alone."
Lorato smiled extending her hand. Why did this girl give
off slay queen behaviour? Instagram baddie kinds that
go after taken men.
"Nice to meet you Alone."
"Nice to meet you too."
"She was my rival at school ko FFS."
"Really?"
She knew Shawn was super smart so being told this girl
was smart?
"Yes." Alone smiled at Lorato.
"Kana he defeated the whole country mma."
"You weren't in the top ten?"
Alone shook her head.
"Just missed that with one A*. Got five instead of six.
Nice seeing you Shawn and nice meeting you Lorato,
you look beautiful by the way."

Lorato could see that the smile was so genuine and she
wasn't even looking at her man in any other way.
"Where did you buy that wig? Because it's beautiful."
"From this Instagram shop. I can give you the lady's
number. Quality stuff I tell you."
Shawn chuckled. "Well seems like this talk about wigs
does not concern me, let me say congrats to the
couple."

Lorato nodded as she stood next to Alone.

"You're beautiful. How was Shawn at senior school?"
"I wasn't in the same class as him but I think he wore
glasses."
"He uses contacts now. A girl like you should be off the
market by now."
She laughed.
"Believe me, I am off the market."
"This might come off as pushy but I wanted to know
what course you did. You're smart and all."
"Econometrics at Yale and Masters in Financial
Economics at Princeton."
"Wow…" she was smarter than her but a degree is a
degree and she was married and didn't have to work for
anything.
"But it doesn't matter now, where did you buy your
dress? O montle gore."

Mma Alone was confused. Alone and Shawn just

pretended like ten years ago didn't happen. She also
wanted to pretend it didn't happen because she saw the
love her daughter had for her, slowly dry out and Alone
had been avoiding her ever since. She was determined
for their relationship to work.

The two ladies chatted and Alone excused herself.

Shawn watched her be stopped by some man and she

laughed with him. He read the man's body language and
there was nothing he could do.

Alone laughed.
"Really? I have to go see it for myself then."
"I can take you."
She grinned.
"I'm flattered but I have a busy schedule."
"In December?"
"Money doesn't sleep does it?"
"No it doesn't. At all."
"Exactly."
"Can I have your number then?"

She could feel Shawn's eyes on her.

"Sure."
She spelled out her number before she picked up the
glass of champagne. They weren't even at rhe reception
yet and she was drinking for the nerves. Damn that
married fool. Were they were going to angry f*ck
because of this? Probably.

Kagiso caught up to Shawn.

"What was that?"
"What was what? I told you I was over her, even booked
an appointment to have the tattoo removed. I saw her
and felt nothing. I thought I'd want her again but it was
just…"
Kagiso looked into his brother's eyes. Shawn was
usually direct.
"I believe you. You grow each and everyday. I'm proud
of you. I thought she still had a hold on you."
"Dilo tsa bongwana. (Childish things)I have a wife and
I'm ready to start a family."
"Mshianame!"(That's my boy)

Shawn laughed. With the corner of his eye he saw Lolo

nurse a drink.

"It's time to head to the reception." Kagiso said.

"Let me get Lorato so we can leave."
He walked away from his brother and took his phone
out. He sent Alone a text.

Shawn: I love you angel. Don't forget that.

He slid his phone back in his pocket. Alone's phone

vibrated in her bag and she ignored it.
"Meet at the reception then and discuss business?"
The lady smiled at Alone.

She walked over to her mother.

"Mama did you come with your car?"
"I did."
"I wanted to drive us to the reception but it's okay. I don't
think it's wise for you to leave it here. Let me go to the
car."

She hugged her mother.

"And mama I'm over Shawn. We were kids and urg.."
"Okay my girl. Besides, he's married."
"Exactly. His wife seems so sweet." Liar! Liar! Your
pants are on fire. Her stupid heart. There was something
about his wife she couldn't put her finger on.
She walked to the car, taking out her phone. His name
popled up on her screen.

She clicked on the message

My heart: I love you angel. Don't forget that.

She smiled stupidly as she reached the parking lot,

unlocking her car.

She got inside.

***

At the reception hours later, Alone's eyes scanned

Shawn when no one was watching and their secret
moments in the crowded room. They all had no idea
about them. She still had the lovebite he left on her
chest after he f*cked her in the back of his car
yesterday. She smiled with everyone, drinking very
responsibly as she listened to the soppy speeches.

Even if she gets burnt, at least she enjoyed. Everyone

around them thought they knew them. Little did they
know about the anticipation and pining and her
desperately waiting. She placed the wine glass down. It
was going to her lower body and she didn't want that in
this room.

Her cousin walked up to her.

"Hey Lolo."
"Hi again my love. You're breathtaking."
"Thank you. I don't think I introduced my husband to
you."
"You didn't."
"Oteng, this is my good cousin Lolo. I wasn't even sure
she was going to come when I invited mmemogolo.."
"Hi Lolo."
"Hi Oteng.." they shook hands and Oteng held in for a
few seconds longer before he let go of her hand.
Alone placed her hand behind her.
"May you guys have a blessed and blissful marriage.
Congratulations once again."
Her cousin smiled and walked away with Oteng. Oteng
swallowed. She didn't even flinch or show that she knew
him. He wanted to escape even for a few minutes to get
to her and ask her if what they had was alk a joke to
him.

Alone typed a message from under her table.

Alone:Meet me at the back in ten minutes. I want you.

She excused herself from the table she was at as she

took her bag with.

Shawn saw her leave gracefully, his phone had vibrated

in his pocket seconds ago.

Lorato was talking to some woman next to their table

and he slid his phone out. Her name was on the screen
and he didn't open the message. He just counted the
minutes. Not wanting anything to be suspicious. When
five minutes passed, he gave Lorato a flimsy excuse of
going to the bathroom.

Lorato nodded and turned to the woman she had been

speaking too. He walked out and took out his phone. He
read the message, his throat bobbing. F*ck. He was
totally utterly f*cked.

He walked out to the back, it was dark and she was

there waiting for him. She just wrapped a hand over his
neck, pulling him down. She needed him right this
minute.

Shawn pinned her against the wall, groaning against her

necl as she unbuckled his pants, then unzipping them.
"You think you could have me just like that?" He
whispered harshly, sending shivers all over her body.
"Couldn't I baby?"
"Ah f*ck!"
"Is it a yes or no baby?"
"Yeesss…"It was a submissive yes that made her
chuckle with delight.
"Ahh!" He groaned in hear mouth as she massaged his
hard on.
"Babe, we have to be quiet. Can you do that for me?"
"Ah fuck, yess!" He hissed.
She kissed him back and he broke the kiss, burying his
head on her shoulder as she rubbed him. He held her
hand.
"I need to be ins-inside you angel."
"You don't have those privileges after today big boy."
"Angel…" he breathed heavily. "You're killing me.."

She removed her hand from his grasp and it went back
to his pants.

Meanwhile, Oteng stepped outside. He saw Alone leave

and he walked around looking for her. He kept walking
further and further and he stopped in his tracks…
𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~37~

He knew her, that was Alone. She-she was with

someone else? His throat dried up as his steps were
slow. Tears blurred his eyes.
"Alo-" he croaked in defeat.

In the middle of their heated kissing session, Alone

paused.
"I-I see someone."
That snapped Shawn out of the hazy lustful bubbled he
was in. If she is caught with Shawn, she'll be labelled a
homewrecker which technically she is.
"I don't care how tall you are, put your head on my chest
and keep it there."
"You want to suffocate me with your tits."
"You are still a married man. Do that while buckling your
pants."

He did that and Alone placed her hands on his head

keeping it there as the figure approached. She breathed
out.
"Don't speak."
"Ee mma." She smiled a bit, her thumb rubbing his
nape.

Oteng reached them as his tears blurred.

"At my wedding-you have a man."
He heard the zippers and he felt his chest constricting,
he looked at the hands and didn't miss the metal on the
man's finger. He was a married man.
"So you really are for the streets. Sleeping with married
men."
Alone closed her eyes.
"I loved you Alone. You didn't want us to work things
out."

Shawn wanted to punch this man in the face. Where do

they get the right to disrespect Lolo like that? One of
these days he might have an assault case in his hands.
"Are you done?"
"Keore even seeing me didn't move you?"
"You said I'm for the streets, why are you crying hmmm?
You just got married and you are crying for me? A girl for
the streets? Questionable."
He choked and covered his face.
"Le ha o ka lla o ragaraga, ga ke go batle."(even if you
cry and kick, I don't want you)
"You were making out with a married man."
She chuckled.
"Thought it would be you huh? Boo hoo, kill yourself
then." He saw the gentle way she rubbed the man's
neck. Affectionately. Like she loved him. His face was
still hidden in her chest.
"Who is it?"
"None of your business."
"I can tell the peo-"
She chuckled.
"And you lose your job. Don't forget I pulled strings for
you to get that job. Don't try me."
He rubbed his teary eyes.
"Alone, don't do this to me."
"Kante, why are you crying? You got married for crying
out loud, go be with your wife. Stay away from me. I
don't know you ebile."

Oteng looked at Alone. Defeated.

"I can't believe this…you are breaking my heart." She
shrugged. She was not surprised, a part of her
sympathised with him

"I understand you. If I were you I'd do me too.." she said,

Shawn's hot breath on her boobs.
He sniffed.
"Go to your wife and forget this ever happened. We
never had this conversation. You have a lot to lose. Not
me. Imagine the whole family hating you?" She was
speaking to him softly now but it wasn't gentle in any
way. Just soft.

He licked his dry lips. The pain in his heart. He opened

his mouth but nothing came out. He turned around and
walked away. Alone just held Shawn's head until he was
out of sight.
Shawn lifted his head.
"The groom?" Shawn wanted to hit that man for what he
said to Alone but he was grateful that she hid his identity
She rolled her eyes at him.
"I didn't know he was with my cousin. I was just as
surprised today. You men always play me every single
time and I fall for it. Just that in your case I know I'm
your glorified side chick."
"Don't say that." He didn't want to get her hopes up in
case anything goes wrong but he'll be a free man soon.
"Sure. Ebile I'm no longer horny, I'm going to my car."
She stepped away from him and picked her bag. She
kissed his cheek and walked away.
"I'll see you tomorrow so you move out?"
"Sure."
She walked away and he sighed. He watched her leave
and closed his eyes. If he goes back there, Oteng will
know he was with Alone. He didn't want to keep her like
a secret when at Gaborone he was always with her but
January was a few weeks away.

He waited for a few minutes before he walked to his car.

He got inside and breathed in.

Inside, Lorato's phone vibrated. It was Shawn calling.

"Come to the car and let's go."
"Okay."She got her stuff and said bye to people as she
walked out.

Fiona bent over to talk to Kagiso.

"I think Lorato has different personalities. At dinner she
was the sweetest and today-I don't know. I can't put my
finger on it."
"Maybe you're overthinking this…did you enjoy today?"
"Very. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Maybe after the baby we
should renew our vows."
"I'd love that." He kissed her cheek and she smiled.
Oteng couldn't get the picture of Alone with someone
else out of his mind. His wife touched his hand.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes. I'm fine."
"We still have to dance, if you're not up to it…"
"I am. I'm fine." He kissed her forehead and her lips but
the kiss bore him. If Alone could kiss a married man like
that? Why wouldn't she want to be his side chick too?
Because it seems like she was all for married men. He'll
try to call her next week.

Lorato walked to the car, finding Shawn inside.

"We're going back to Gaborone tomorrow right?"
"Early morning yes."

Lorato placed her hand on her thigh and he gave her

look that had her retracting her hand.
"Lorato the same energy of you refusing to give me sex
for over eight months, keep it. I've learnt to make do with
my hand and I'm not even involving the family in our
issues."

That assured Lorato that Owame didn't try any funny

business with her husband. This man did give good sex
and Owame would have refused to leave if she had
tasted him.
"I miss you and it was stupid of me."
"For that long?" He started the car and she leaned back.
"I can make it up to you at the hotel. Please Shawn. I
miss you so much and need you inside of me."

He looked at her for a minute before he reversed out of

his parking spot. She was really thinking he was stupid
but patience is a virtue he should possess.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~38~

Lorato had spent the whole of Sunday alone once they

arrived back at the apartment. Just when she thought
she was going ro get what she wanted, turns out Shawn
had booked them into two separate rooms and she
couldn't get into his room unless she had the room key.
Time was going and she also hadn't caught on to who
he was cheating on her with. Frustrating.

Her phone rang and it was her boyfriend. She cut the
call. She needed to think. Fast. Okay, a trip outside the
country? It qas December so they could go spend it in
some cold country in a cosy cottage and she'll play the
doting wife, as they rekindle their spark. That was okay.
She sat down and started searching places online for a
little Christmas getaway.

***

At Lolo's new place, Shawn looked at everything. The

bed was new as well as the sofas. He stood next to Lolo
in his overalls.

Alone smiled at him.

"I love it." She pulled him down to kiss him before she
pulled back. He was all sweaty and his vest was soaked
and he had tied the top part of the overall around his
waist. She pulled him down to kiss him again and this
time he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around
his waist.
"I missed you too." He laughed into her lips and she
placed her hands on his shoulders.
"So are you spending the night?"
She asked and looked into his eyes waiting for an
answer. Shawn who hadn't exoexted to stay the night
that day nodded. The look in her eyes broke him. It
won't be for long baby girl. Just a few more weeks. He
said in his head as he kissed her back and let her slide
down his body.
Alone's phone rang and she picked it up, not
recognising the unknown number.
"Hello. Alone?"
She laughed.
"Wait…the guy from the wedding right? That was fast."
Shawn pulled her to him and she pushed him back as
she sat on the newly unwrapped couch.
"Yes. I'm the guy now?"
Alone rolled her eyes with a smile.
"Ee. How are you?"
"How about a lunch date and I can tell you how I am?"

Shawn who was listening to rhe conversation felt fury

rising within him. His jaw ticked as Alone laughed
throught the phone call till it ended.
"Who is it?"
She blinked at him.
"Mr Married are you asking me that question? I made a
new friend at the wedding."
"Lolo-"
"And you have no right to be jealous Shawn. You know
my heart is in your hands and I'm having you in any way
I can even if you have her ring on your finger."
She swallowed. He pulled Lolo to him.
"Angel, listen I do love you. More than I have loved. Can
you call him and tell him you won't be meeting him for
lunch?"
"No. Can you call your wife and tell her you want a
divorce now?"
She looked at him and swallowed.
"I know that. Eventually the thrill of us being together
after years apart will expire and I'll pick up the pieces. I
always do. It won't be the first time I pick myself back up
baby. I chose this hurt and it's hurting so much."
She kissed his lips as a tear rolled down her cheek.
He rubbed her cheek.
"Babe, just this once. I know how it looks like. I know
that it looks like you're my dirty secret but you are not.
You have never been and will never be."
"Don't promise me things that might not happen. Let's
enjoy us till whenever you feel you've had enough of
me."
He kissed her tears away.
"I'll never have enough of you Alone. You're a craving
I've been told to stay away from even before we met
again."
"Maybe I'll remain just that."
He rubbed her chin.
"No." She kissed him back. Maybe she has become one
of his problems and she wished it could be easy this
once? He knew she adored him and was crazier for him
than she was at sixteen and she'll still love him.

He picked her up and placed her on her lap. She broke

into tears on his chest.
"Baby, it's going to be just us at the end. Okay?"
"Maybe not." Besides what was the use of a long term
thing if she dies like her aunt Meme and her paternal
grandmother and some of the women from her dad's
family. He shouldn't leave his wife for her even if he was
thinking of that.

She looked at him tearfully.

"Don't leave your wife for me."
He just placed her head back on his chest.
"Promise me."
"I promise."
"Good."

He said that to shush her. The less she knew about the
plans he had, the better, it was a side of him he didn't
want her to witness. He kissed her forehead.
***

Night time came and Lorato was alone in bed. She

thought of calling Kagiso to ask about Shawn but he has
been talking about work. She closed her eyes to sleep.

***

On Monday, Lorato woke up and checked the time. It

was a little over nine am. She yawned and got out of
bed rubbing her stomach. She was thankful she didn't
have morning sickness for now, how was she going to
explain herself to him.

She walked to his room and his cologne was fresh in the
air. He had come and left. Wow.

She walked back to her room and picked her phone

calling her boyfriend.
"Hello, give me a few weeks love. It will be over and
done with."

She sat on the bed and listened, agreeing and

reassuring him. After that, she decided to call her
mother.
"Hello Rato.." her mother's voice was filled with joy and
gladness.
"Hello mama. Ke kopa advice."(can I have some
advice.)
"I'm listening."
"What do you do if your husband sleeps out everyday?"
"Shawn? He's sleeping out?"
"Don't say I told you mom. I just want to know."
"Lorato, we didn't kick you out at home and you know
that."
"I know. I love Shawn so much and I'm at my wits end.
He always says it's work." She started sniffing as if she
was crying.
"We'll talk to him okay?"
She sniffed more.
"Okay."
"Don't cry. A man will always wander but he should know
where home is."
"I-I just want to know if I'm not enough for him. If I'm not
giving him everything he needs."
"You are more than enough. He can never find anyone
like you, you are every man's dream."
"But Shawn is my dream.."
She sniffed more and her mother tried to comfort her
until Lorato got off the call. She smiled. That was easy.
***

At FNBB, Alone sat in her office and she called that guy
from the wedding.
"Hey, about that lunch date. I'll have to cancel."
"Oh. Rain check?"
"No, it's fine. You're a great huy though. I have to go and
have a great day."

She cut the call and deleted his nunber from her call log.
She rubbed her makeuo free face. The door knock had
her composing herself.
"Come in."

Her boss walked in.

"Hello. Are you okay?"
Sbe faked a laugh and smiled.
"I'm good. You can have a seat."
Her boss sat down.
"I have news. Good and bad."
Alone's heart started racing. Bad news? What did she
do wrong? She and her team had prepared thoroughly
for that Friday presentation and Shawn this time didn't
ask questions that made them look stupid and lazy. That
was a win knowing his business acumen. His face didn't
give anything away and they never discussed work
when they were in each other's arms.
"The good news first?"
"The good news is that I just got a visit from a C
Corporations reprentative, we got the investment. They
chose us."
Alone covered her mouth in shock.
"Really?"
"Yes. Mr Kgotla was thoroughly impressed on Friday."
She smiled. She couldn't wait to tell her team the good
news.

"The bad news?"

"The bad news is that means more work, a raise and a
promotion."
Her eyes widened with tears.
"Congratulations Mrs Kgotla, you have been officially
promoted and your team? They are getting raises on
their salaties."
Lolo closed her eyes with tears in them.
"The formalities will be discuss and if you want to
negotiate your salary further, we'll be open to raising it if
it doesn't satisfy you."
"Oh God!"
"Congratulations."
She nodded and rubbed her tears. Her boss stood up
and Alone couldn't help the excitement. Just as her boss
walked out, her office door opened and she looked at
him grinning.
"Hey angel."
She got up and jumped in his arms.
"I got promoted."
"That's my girl."
"I got promoted and the contract. I love you! I love you!"
She kissed his face all over and he laughed holding her.
"I have to tell Tebogo. Oh my God!"

She slid down him and she picked her phone from the
desk to call her cousin.

Her cousin answered immediately.

"Hey Lolo, I'm on my way to court right now."
"Tebza ngwana! Guess what?"
"What? You sound excited. Ekete the time you were
happy to be sleeping over at Shawn's place. Wait, Lolo
is Shawn back?"
She looked at him standing there with his hands in his
pockets.
"No. I got promoted."
"Shut up! Heee!"

There was a pause.

"I almost let go of tge steering wheel. Congratulations
Lolo…you deserve that and more."
"Thank you. I just wanted to let you know…like your girl
is getting a promotion. Hellooo!"
There was laughter and Shawn watched how she
glowed with happiness. He wanted to keep that smile on
her face for as long as he could. His phone vibrated in
his pocket and it was Lorato's 'dad'. He cut the calm and
also the calls from the elders from her side of the family.
He saw Kagiso's call and he cut that one as well before
he eventually put his phone on flight mode.

Alone cut the call and smiled at him.

"Want to go ouy and celebrate?"
"I'm game."
"I feel I deserve an off day even. This is so exciting."

He smiled and walked over to her to kiss her. She

wrapped her arms around his neck. She loved him even
if he loved her temporarily.
𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆
~39~

Alone's phone was between her ear and shoulder as

she picked out warm clothes to wear for the flight.
"I'll be safe where I am going. It's not the first time I've
travelled Tebogo."
"And you've been looking much happier too. You already
moved to a new house, waitse promotion e go tsaya
sentle."
"I am happier. Let me cut the call. I spoke to mama
yesterday, you guys enjoy the Christmas holidays."
"We will. Safe journey okay?"
"Okay. Bye."

Alone placed her phone down and walked into her

bathroom. She opened the warm water and as steam
filled the shower, she remembered how he was
pounding into her yesterday. Her cheeks heated as she
continued. He'll be here in less than an hour and should
find her ready.

***

At Shawn's apartment, he checked his time and Lorato

swallowed watching him. He had got a fresh cut
yesterday and he always looked good. His shirt was well
pressed as well as pants. He looked too good to be
going for a work trip. And it was almost Christmas. What
company schedules a trip before Christmas? She had
paid heavily for calling her family to tell them he wasn't
coming home and was cheating. They had talked to him
and he had denied cheating. Blatantly. Her wife
allowance went from thirty five thousand to a measly five
thousand and he didn't look like he cared. She had
asked him for the rest of the money. His response? She
should get it from her family whom she told he was
cheating.
"Shawn-"
"Lorato wa tlhodia go phakela."(you're making noise, it's
still morning)

His phone rang and she watched him answer his phone.
"Lucas? Not yet. I'm on my way."
He walked past her and headed to his room. Still no sex
and she was at a point of being scared that her tummy
would show if they didn't have sex soon. She closed her
eyes. If it showed, he'll know and she'll leave this
marriage with nothing. Shawn wouldn't give her a single
cent.

"I can still go to the trip with you. It's almost Christmas a-
"
"And you can spend it with your family here kana do you
pay the bills?"
"N-No."
"Good. I'm almost late."
"Will you call when you get there?"
He shrugged. His phone rang again and he put his work
bag on top of his suitcase.
"I can drop you off at the airport."
"It's fine."

He pulled suitcase.
"Hello."

Shawn closed the door as he listened to his brother talk.

"Kana Shawn mo o go irang ka makgakga."(what you're
doi g is rude)
"I'm not cheating. I work to sustain our livelihoods kana
ke emise go bereka Lorato a tlise half a million every
month?"(or I should stop working and Lorato brings half
a million every month)
He unlocked his car and opened the boot.
"I was starved eight full months and i worked late even
then but she didn't complain. If she is accusing me of
cheating maybe she is the one cheating. You are
supposed to support me as your brother. Not oust me in
front of her family so they think they can say whatever. I
have to go. I'm late."
He cut the call before he slid his phone in his pocket. He
put his luggage inside and walked to the driver's seat.

He jumped inside and started the car.

***

Alone stood in front of the mirror in a cute blue jumper

and cotton pants with boots. The Botswana heat won't
make her change. Where she'll be going is cold and she
couldn't wait.
Her phone started ringing and she answered it with a
smile.
"Hello?"
"Hey angel. I'm about to arrive, you're ready?"
"Yes."
"Did you get your asthma pump, ga ke batle o ya go re
swela kana."(I don't want you to go die on us)
She laughed.
"Shawn wee? Ga ke batle mister."(Shawn? I don't like
that)
He chuckled.
"Make sure your pretty behind is ready in two minutes."
"Ee rra."
She cut the call and took a few selfies. She had even
changed her hairstyle and the braids looked so good on
her.

She placed her handbag on her blue luggage bag and

she pulled it out of the room to the sitting room.

***

At Owame's small one room, it had been a peaceful

three weeks. She had avoided Lorato's calls and she
had bought things she needed. She was waiting for her
land application to come through but it might be a while
before it. She needed a job, sooner or later the money
was going to finish and she'll be back to square zero.
But the thousand she had from selling Lorato's things as
well was safely in her orange money account. She took
out the expensive phone she still kept.

She went on to Facebook and typed out a long post.

Owame:Good morning. If you know anyone who need a

stay in househelper or nanny, please let me know. I can
cook, clean, wash clothes, technologically advanced and
I can also speak fluent English as well as Setswana. Any
starting salary is okay. I will leave my number in the
comments for calls. Thank you.

She posted and waited to see if the calls will come

flooding in.

***

Shawn drove inside the yard with his phone behind his
ear.
"Hire her. I need her close by when it all happens.'
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Better than to get her kicking and screaming which
was going to happen either way. Update me on how it
goes."

He cut the call and got out of the car. He walked to the
house and knocked before he opened. He found her
tying her hair.
"Hey baby. I'm ready..how do I look?"
"Like my type."
She picked a pillow to throw at him.
"Be serious."
"Gorgeous. You already have me at your feet."
He held her waist and dropped his head to kiss her.
"How about one for the flight?"
She laughed against his lips.
"Ijaa! Can we go?"
He pecked her lips before he stepped back.
"And who are you trying to impress with the fade?"
"You. Is it working?"
She nodded with a grin.
"Yes.."

He got her bags and walked to the car while she looked
around before she locked the door with her phone in
hand.

***

At Oteng's house, with his other account, he saw the

pictures Alone uploaded on Facebook a minute ago.
She looked happy and-
"What are you looking at with such longing?"
His wife crept up behind him and he quickly hid his
phone.
"Oteng, let me see."
"No. It's nothing."
"Ke eng o hitlhele?"(why are you hiding it)
She looked at him.
"Let me see."

They stared at each other for long seconds.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~40~

Oteng pressed his phone on the side and switched it off.

She looked at him for a long minute before silently
moving away and turning back. She wasn't going to fight
with him. She wasn't going to go on snooping in his
phone for evidence. He watched his wife walk away and
he closed his eyes in relief. That was a close call.

***

Owame held the phone as the person spoke.

"Yes. Yes. I can start work immediately after Christmas."
She listened with a huge smile on her face as she sat
down on the new mattress she bought a week ago.
"Ee mma. Thank you so much."
She cut the call and went to Facebook to delete her
post. That was quick.

***

In Botswana, Kennedy whose friend request had been

accepted by mistake, stalked Alone's profile. He saw
pictures of her back in her Yale and Princeton days. It
seemed like she had always been smart and maybe
that's why she wasn't married. Men usually don't go for
women who prioritise their jobs over their families or
them. It was an even bigger problem if they earned
more. They start letting the money get to their heads
and they become disrespectful. Not that he wasn't
keeping an eye on her, he was. One day he'll show up to
FNB to talk to her. He scrolled up to her recent photo
and he couldn't pin point where she was but she was
beautiful. She heart reacted on the picture and exited
the app.

***

Lorato finished packing her bag. She'll spend Christmas

with her real man, it's fine. It's not as if she loves Shawn
and all. Her phone rang and she picked up the call.
"Hey love. I'm almost done. I'll meet you outside the
complex."

She removed the ring and placed it on the table before

she zipped up the bag and wore her hat and shades to
conceal her face. She pulled the bag out.

She looked around as she locked the door and quickly

pulled the bag. She kept looking around to make sure
no one spotted her. She dragged her suitcase out of the
complex and she saw his car parked outside. She
continued with her bag and the boot opened for her. She
sighed and picked the bag to put it in the back before
closed it. The passenger door opened and she got
inside. She removed her disguise and placed the things
on her lap as she moved over to kiss him but he moved
his head back.
"Hi?" she was confused. Why was he refusing her kiss?
"Hey. Are you ready?"
"Why won't you kiss me?"
"You've been sleeping with another man for the past few
weeks, is that supposed to make me happy? Buckle up."

Sbe buckled up and placed a hand over her still flat

stomach.
"I haven't been sleeping with him."
"I don't believe you but I love you so…"
"I love you too. Please don't doubt my love for you."

He looked at her for a second before starting the car.

***

Fourteen hours later

Shawn looked at Alone who was asleep on his shoulder.

She had been a bit bored as he worked throughout the
flight but he wanted to do most of the work so he could
spend the rest of the days with her. If he pushes hard
enough he can even make it fit into two days or at least
a full day and a half day. He watched her sleeping
peacefully and kissed her forehead.
"Alone? Lolo?"
She stirred in her sleep and he rubbed her cheek.
"Lolo? Wake up. We've arrived."
It was a little after ten and he was sure she had jet lag.
He didn't have time to relax. The acquisition needed to
happen soon and he was tasked with that company's
audits and also assessing if acquiring the company
would be a good move. Financially of course.

Alone moved her head from the warm body and woke
up with a startle. Hands held her steady and she could
feel the corner of her mouth wet. She closed her eyes
trying to gain clear consciousness. It took her a few
minutes to defrost from that long nap, when she did she
rubbed her mouth and cheek. She drooled all over him
didn't she?
"Hey. I'm sorry." She stifled a yawn as he unbuckled her.
She had refused to go sleep in the bedroom in the jet,
she just wanted to sit beside him as he worked and
ended up falling asleep on his shoulder.
"About?"
"Drooling over you."
He looked at his wet shirt and shook his head as he
unbuckled the seatbelt.
"It's okay. We're here."
She covered her mouth to yawn as he stood up and she
got up too.
"I think I need to sleep."
"You look tired. Warm enough? It's snowing out here."
She nodded. She watched Shawn pack up his laptop
and iPad before he held his bag and took her hand. He
walked down the stairs holding her hand and she
couldn't help the smile on her face as they walked
towards a car waiting for them.
"Our luggage?"
"It's in the car, sleep on my chest."
"I'm no longer sleepy."
"Your eyes are puffy and they keep closing. Don't force
it."
"Aren't you cold?" Snowflakes weren't falling at the
moment but it was still cold. She missed this white
Christmases.

He opened the door for her and she got inside before he
got in. He shut close the divider so they could talk
privately.
"Lolo?"
"Rra?"
"Are you on contraceptives?"
She shook her head.
"No. I have never been on them." What if they mess up
her already-well cancer susceptible body?
"And you're the first man who has slept with me without
protection."
"Your virgin breaker and that? Well I'm honoured."
She laughed softly and snuggled into him.
"But what if you fall pregnant?"
"I have the money and capability to take care of a child
once you go back to your wife. I'll be fine."
"Lolo don't speak as if I'll let you parent alone."
She closed her eyes. She didn't need to tell him he was
married. He knew it and he was the one who said his
vows at the altar not her.
"But I'm not pregnant now so there is nothing to worry
about okay?" She closed her eyes.
He watched her and rubbed her arm.

Alone woke up when the car stopped. She was too

sleepy to try and make out which hotel they were in.

Shawn got out of the car and got their bags as she
yawned and stretched. She'll call Tebogo when she
wakes up and luckily Botswana and Paris had the same
time zones so basically the same time.

She got out of the car and the cold hit her face, making
her clench her teeth. She followed her married boyfriend
who wasn't wearing his ring into the hotel. A butler got
the luggage from him and he was given two access
cards and keys for rhe penthouse at the top of the hotel.
C Corporations was really where it's at in terms of
employment because of all these?

Shawn held her waist as they took the lift up to the last
floor. She rested her head on his torso and stifped
another yawn.
It pinged and the doors opened. Shawn thanked and
tipped the butler before he tapped the access card on
the scanner and opened the door. She just walked in as
he brought their bags in.

She looked the white bedding and how inviting the bed
looled like.

Outside clothes should be off before she got in bed. She

needed to shower first. She looked at him.
"A shower and then sleep?"
"Yes."

***

In the morning, around six am Shawn was awake and

he had to be at the company preferably before eight.
Alone's hand was on his chest and her breasts looked
ready to be sucked.

He got hard and he squeezed her breasts as she

moaned softly. His hand explored her body and he
watched her face before he pulled her on top of him,
ready to bury himself inside of her.
"Angel?"
"Hmmm?"
"Open up for me.." she mumbled something before she
opened her eyes.
"Hmmm?"
She felt his erection against her thigh. She just nodded
and he lifted her leg and he slowly slid into her, her little
whimpers and movements to move back so she doesn't
take more of him motivating him. He held her steady and
she closed her eyes, enjoying and taking that d*ck like a
good girl. He held her tighter as she tightened around
him and he sucked in her neck.
"Ah…yes…right-ahhh" she moaned in his ear, loving it.
"Shaaaaawwwnnn…"
"Yes angel?"
"I'm about to cu-aaaahhh" she fell apart and he groaned,
shooting his load deep into her.
He breathed heavily and he turned her to her back and
drilled into her.

Minutes later, he slid out and kissed her lips.

"My card will be on the table angel, use my card. You
won't like the consequences if you don't." He kissed her
head.
"Go to sleep and I love you okay?"
She nodded, beautifully satiated and closing her eyes.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆
~41~

Alone spent the chilly day wandering Paris and she even
got a stranger to take pictures of her in front of the Eiffel
tower. She smiled in her puffer jacket, beanie and
mittens as she walked into the nearest coffee shop and
ordered coffee and croissants, why would she be in
France if she didn't order croissants?

She thanked the waiter and she removed her mittens to

pik up the hot cup. Heaven. He was busy working and
she was really here for vacation. She deserved this little
slice of heaven after her sh*tty year to be honest.

Tebogo called and she placed the cup down to get her
phone from her bag. It was a video call even and she
held the phone.
"Hello."
"Bonjour madame."
Lolo chuckled.
"Hiii..I missed cold Christmases."
"Let me see around."

Lolo moved the phone around before her face came

back on the screen again.
"See? It's so cute."
"Are you sure you are vacationing alone?"
"O batla go raya batho o reng Tebogo?"(whay do you
want to say?)
"I mean…"
Alone laughed as she picked up her croissant with one
hand.
"I'll call later to enquire about my niece or nephew.
Otherwise, goodbye mma." Alone said.
Tebogo laughed as she cut off the video call. A happy
Alone ate her croissant and she had three more before
she felt full. She ordered another three, well one for
Shawn and the other two for her. She got the paper bag
and she walked out.

Evening came and Shawn came back tired as he sat

next to her on the sofa. Her feet were on his lap and he
saw the visible glow of happiness on her face. She
barely spent much but she did buy with his card. That
was a win.
"So you think it's going to fail?"
"Dismally. This acquisition is a bad idea."
"I know we deal with investments and everything but
from the view of a marketing exec or creative director, it
might be a good bargain and they saw a vision. One
both of us can't see. I think it's too soon to write off the
company based on their past."
He rubbed her sock covered feet.
"We'll see tomorrow."
"But think about it. We are too practical unlike other
people in business. Our conclusions are in black and
white while they see colour. Can I see? I won't tell
anyone, I swear."
He chuckled.
"I know."

He got his iPad and handed it to her. She entered her

birthday to open it and the document showed on screen.
She browsed through it.
"It's too early to write it off. I see the potential."
He raised an eyebrow. She moved closer to him and she
read it with him. His hot breath hit her neck and she had
to avoid looking at him. If she looks at him right now,
their clothes will be off within a minute. She was helping
him with work here.

"I don't see it."

She hit her head lightly with the device.
"That's why you'll never own a business." She slowly
explained her point of view based on the document.
She stopped talking and he was just looking down at
her. She blushed.
He held her chin and kissed her lips softly.
"A smart and beautiful wife? I hit the jackpot for sure."
Just for pretend's sake she went with it and no doubt,
the iPad was far away from them as clothes flew off in
the next minute and they ended up in bed.

The following day it was the same thing, except this time
Alone went shopping with his card. She didn't know the
limit but she had tried not to purchase too much. There
were a lot of things she had wanted from the shops.
Chanel purses she'd never find in her country. She
walked out with four shopping bags as she got inside the
car that had picked them from the airport. So the guy
was their chauffeur for Paris. She was helped by the
butler with her bags and when she got inside he was
there. Her heart dropped. She hadn't seen him leave in
the morning but that cashmere sweater and those dress
pants along with his shoes made him look scrumptious.
"Hey baby. Didn't expect to see you here early."
"Well, I finished early. Time for the holidays and now the
rest of my time is yours."

Her bags were placed on the table before the butler

discreetly excused himself.
"Did you enjoy shopping?"
"I did. Let me change-"
"I wanted us to leave for Milan and enjoy the rest of the
week there."
"Like now?"
"Yes."
She looked at her bags of new clothes. She needs to
buy a nee suitcase for them.
"How empty is your suitcase?"
He suspiciously looked at her.

She chuckled.

Three hours later, they were in Milan, settled and cozied

up. Alone savoured her time with Shawn. It was peaceful
and she was never going to regret this.
"We'll watch a movie."
"And I want to take you somewhere tomorrow."

She smiled and nodded.

***

Day three in France, Alone was in a matching coat like

Shawn, they got them last minute at some boutique and
it was so cute with her in a wool dress, pantyhose and
heeled boots. The coat was up to below her knees so
she was fine.
"I want pictures. Get this stranger to take a picture."
She kindly asked a stranger to take pictures of them, her
kissing him and his back to the camera. No one could
see who it was if you look at the picture. She smiled,
taking her phone back. Shawn got the phone from her
hands and he kissed her while taking a picture and
handed it to her.

She looked at the picture. It actually came out so good.

She smiled and slid her phone in her pocket. She let the
tall mam lead her to whatever and they walked into a
jewellery shop. She looked at him,what had he planne?

The jeweller joined them and she came with a box.

"Hi. Mrs Kgotla right?" Alone just nodded.
"Well, we did manage to find rings in your size."

Alone's mouth parted in surprise and she whispered.

"Rings?" He nodded and she handed him her phone as
she sat down and looked at the rings. When did they get
her ring size?
Shawn took pictures of her wearing the rings as she
talked about the ones she loved and felt like were a bit
too much.

She waited while Shawn talked to the jeweller. She went

to her pictures and since there was no face on her
pictures, she uploaded the picture she took of her hand
over his dragon tattoo in the morning on her WhatsApp
status before she went to Facebook and she posted two
pictures of her trying out rings as well as that one where
they were kissing and he had his back to the camera.
She put her phone away on silent when he joined her,
she wasn't going to answer any questions.

***

In Botswana, Kennedy's notifications reported that Alone

had posted. Again?

He went to her post and swallowed seeing her caption.

'Ring fitting in Milan. Mrs K? ❤Maybe.'

He looked at the pictures and zoomed in on the rings

that she had been trying on. He saved the pictures to
check if the rings were maybe fake but that picture of
her with a man in a snowing place. She was out of the
country? A single flight was thirty thousand pula and that
money could be used for a lot of things.

He went to Google Lens and when the results came

back, his mouth hung open at the price of those rings
she had been trying on and they were rings that were
only found in one shop in the whole world. Just at Milan.
He did the conversion and the rings ranged from ninety
thousand to two hundred thousand pula. Just for rings.

He went to her post again and people had heart reacted

and were already saying 'wow' but she hadn't responded
yet. He resisted the urge to ask her if she was seriously
getting married. He put his phone away

***

At Milan, Shawn's hand was on her thigh as they were

driven back to the hotel. He checked his phone and
went to his WhatsApp. He saw her status and chuckled.
"Is this a boyfriend reveal?"
"Maybe."
He pulled her to him and picked her up to place her on
his lap. Soon he'd have her, introduce her again as his
bride and pay magadi for her. He pushed her into his
erection and she smiled.
"I have something for you." He touched the locket he
gave her ten years ago as he slid his hands in his
pockets and took out a diamond studded locket.
"It has my initials at the back and our now adult picture
inside." She blinked as he removed the old locket.
"You can keep it in a safe and tell our children about it."
Alone wore the new one with a little smile. Everything
felt too good and nice but she was going to bask in it, no
matter how much her mind told her that this might not
last.

At the hotel, Alone finally checked her messages and

they were a lot. From Facebook and WhatsApp. She
saw Tebogo's missed call. She called back.
"Tebza!"
"Lolo you have a man?"
"Me? Who said that?"
"Psshh! You post rings and yourself kissing a tall
faceless man then his tattooed chest on WhatsApp? I
knew that you weren't going alone. Who is it?"

Shawn walked in and she smiled.

"Don't worry."
"I didn't know you were into men with tattoos."
"I also didn't know, imagine my surprise."
On the other end of the line, Tebogo had first thought
Shawn but she had quickly changed her mind. The
Shawn she had in mind bad been so sweet and he
probably stayed away from her cousin after what her
uncle's widow did. Lolo had been miserable but at least
now she was happy. She had been telling the truth. The
day of his birthday was the day she let go. And sweet
Shawn wouldn't have tattoos so he was completely out
of the picture. Besides, Lolo would have told her. She
wondered where he was. Had he stayed around long
enough, she knew she would have shot her shot.

"But I'm happy for you. You deserve this."

"Thank you, I'm so excited."
"When is the wedding? Already trying rings and all?"
Alone laughed.
"Bathong! I have to go…"

She cut the call.

At the penthouse, Alone looked at Shawn.

"Join me for a shower."
"No. You're going to f*ck me."
"I can still f*ck you against this wall if I want to."
She laughed and stood on her tippy toes to kiss him.
"I love you okay Shawn?"
"I love you Lolo. Just keep that in mind. Always."
.
.
.
A MONTH LATER

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~42~

Lorato sat next to him on the couch in the morning. He

had been spending nights at home these days and there
was still no more evidence of him cheating. Maybe it had
been a one time thing for his birthday but she still
wanted money in a divorce settlement. He still didn't
touch her nor kiss her. She was afraid of her stomach
growing and he would notice. If she did hit the three
month mark without him having sex with her, she was
going to abort.

"Happy birthday babe." He gave her a hug and as much

as she loved her boyfriend, she missed his hugs.
"Thank you."
He smiled looking down at her before he broke the hug.
"Let me get your gift, I'm sorry you couldn't go to Paris
with me. It was work and I was already stressed."
"It's okay. It's not a big deal." he walked out and came
back from his room with a gift bag. She touched her
chest with a little smile.

She opened the gift bag and she saw the handbag
inside. She rubbed her tears. It was the hormones. She
wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Thank you."
"You are welcome. Let me go to work, I'll see you later
today for your birthday dinner, okay?"
She nodded letting him go. He picked his bag and she
watched him walk out. She looked at the LV handbag.
Just continuous spoils. She hummed heading to the
kitchen. This dinner was her chance. She was going to
wear sexy lingerie underneath and make him drink
before seducing him and boom, the baby will be his. The
Lord is sooo gooood!

***

At FNBB
Lolo tapped her pen against her desk. Shawn has been
distant after their France trip and she tried not to be
clingy. She really tried. She really felt like a side chick
now, she was told which times to call and now? He had
said he'd be busy the whole day. She really was seeing
that she was starting to become one of his problems.
She was compartmentalized and she hated it so much.
Her stomach churned and her breakfast came right up.
She quickly got up from the chair and into her little
bathroom. She held the toilet seat as she vomited, tears
filling her eyes.

When her stomach settled she closed her teary eyes.

She is giving it one more week before going to the
doctor. She rinsed her mouth and checked her breath.
She held the little sink and rubbed her tears away.

Calmly, she walked to her chair and sat down. Her

telephone line rang and she answered it, welcoming the
distraction.
"Alone hello."
"Ms Puso, there is someone here to see you."
"Someone?"
"He won't mention his name but says he knows you."
"It's not Oteng akere Fina?"
"No. That one has been banned from our offices."
"Okay. Let him in and have two security man on standby
by my office yes? And if Mr Kgotla shows up call me
immediately."
"Yes ma'am."

She took out some mints from her bag and she chewed
on them. Minutes later, there was a door knock.
"Come in."

She had a sew in now and the curls framed her face
beautifully. She watched the door as it opened. She
looked at the man then realisation set and also
confusion. He looked like that guy who had stopped by
the side of the road wantjng to assist her.
"Good morning."

Kennedy looked at her office. Fancy and he hadn't

missed the label on the door. She still looked the same.
Pretty.
"Can I sit?"
"Of course, how can I help you? If you are looking to
invest, I can call one of the junior members of the staff to
assist you." Alone tried to ignore the scent of whatever
he applied. It was making her nauseous.
"Do you remember me?"
"Am I supposed to?"
"I'm Kennedy. The one who waited with you the time
your fuel tank was empty."
"Oh, right. How can I help you?"
"I wanted to take you out for lunch."
"I'm still going to say no."
He looked at her fingers. Empty but he did see the heart
necklace dangling on her neck. It had diamonds.

Alone fanned herself but it kept on getting stronger.

"Did you apply a cheap cologne? Ya nkgama."(it's
suffocating)

Her stomach rolled and she quickly grabbed her phone

as she rushed into the small bathroom to vomit.
Cheap? Kennedy frowned. His cologne was cheap?
Alone stood by the bathroom door.
"Please leave my office, perfume yaago ga e ntseye
sentle.(your cologne does not agree with me)And please
never come back. I said no for a reason. Have a good
day."

He got up.
"It's not like he's gonna marry you." He snarked.
"And it's not as if I'll still want you. O dusty. Get out."
He walked out, fuming. If she continues having that
attitude, she'll watch her peers getting married and
wonder why. He quickly went to facebook and turned off
notifications for her posts abd unfriended her then
blocked her. It will be soon when she is desperately in
need for marriage. In her late thirties and she'll wonder
why.

Inside her office, Alone fanned herself. She held back

tears. She wanted to call Shawn but didn't want to nag
him when he said she should call tomorrow. She
breathed in and walked over to her chair and took out
her perfume to spray in the office.

***

At the apartment, Lorato opened the door to some girl.

"Hello."
"Mrs Kgotla?"
"Yes…"
"Your husband has instructed us to take you out."
"Take me out?"

The girl smiled.

"For a massage, to the salon and for dress shopping."
She grinned.
"Really? Let me get my bag."

She giggled as she went to get her bag and she sent
Shawn a message thanking him for that.

***

At Lorato's parents', they got ready to drive to

Gaborone. They were all dressed up. Shawn had
showed up and humbly apologised for his rude
behaviour. He had indicated that he indeed he was
working long nights to make enough money to build their
daughter's dream house. How can they not believe him?
He was taking care of their daughter and she was loved.
So much by that young man.

Lorato's cousins who were in the kitchen gossiping

about things that didn't concern them laughed.
"If I had Shawn, I wouldn't let him go. Le ha a ka
cheat'er ga million."(even if he cheats a million times)
"Same. That man takes care of her and o montle gore."
"And smart."
"True true."
They wiped their hands.
"Let's go get ready. I think I'm going to be live on
Facebook for the surprise."

They walked out of the kitchen and went to their rooms

to pick out their best dresses.

***

Lorato closed her eyes, enjoying the massage as they

massaged the knots and stress away.

***

Around lunchtime, Alone caved in and tried to call

Shawn.
"The number you have dialled is not ava-"

She cut it and went to WhatsApp to check his last seen.

It was yesterday. She rubbed her eyes. She'll call
tomorrow. He didn't say their relationship was over yet
but she knew that she had been a thrill for him and he
was going back to his wife. She broke her own heart
there but a month of happiness was okay and she'll
settle for that.
𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~43~

At FNBB

Alone spent the whole day nauseous and she was just
unproductive all the same. There was a knock on her
door just as she started packing up her bag to go home.
Her ears perked up and her eyes lit up thinking it was
Shawn.
"Come in."
Her smiled disappeared when Tebogo walked in.
"And what did I do?"
"Nothing. I was expectiong someone else."
"Oh. I wanted us to have dinner."
"I'm not feeling too great. I wanted a quiet night in."
"We can have that. Mofenyi dropped me off, I'll ask him
to pick me up from your place."
"Okay. Let's go."
"You seem down, what's up?"
"Stomach bug." Lies Alone. You know what it is but you
are in denial because he isn't speaking to you.
"Okay. Don't eat anything that'll upset your stomach
further."
She nodded. She didn't even know what foods to avoid
as she got her bag. Tebogo's bump was now visible and
Alone tried to lighten up. Just because her married
boyfriend is focusing on his marriage doesn't mean she
should sulk like a baby.

"Do you want a baby shower? And what about your

wedding dress?"
They walked out of her office as she locked it and they
took the lift. If Shawn was here, they would be going
down the stairs just talking.
"A baby shower yes. Not sure if I'll fit, I'm meeting the
designer tomorrow to see how to go about it.
"Okay. I'll make a group. Akere mma ga o re batle ma
one thousand?"(You don't one thousands from us?)
The lift opened and they walked past the reception.
Alone saying bye to the receptionist as she and her
cousin stepped out of the building.

She placed a hand over her head to block out the sun.
"We're ordering pizza and drinks."
"Should we pass by the pizza place first? It's easier than
having them take their sweet time."

Tebogo agreed as Alone unlocked her car and she got

inside.
***

Kagiso and Fiona checked the time as they held their

gifts for Lorato's birthday.
"Kagiso see? Shawn wasn't cheating. I really think you
should see the good in your brother. A man who is
cheating wouldn't be doing all of this for his wife. You
raised a responsible young man."
Kagiso nodded.
"I think I actually started to believe Lorato because
Shawn saw Alone again at the wedding."
"So? They were kids and it's in the past. And le Alone,
she doesn't look like the girl who'd go for married men.
She looks so smarter than stooping that low."
Kagiso had to agree.
"And she is successful."
"See? Have some faith in Shawn. Let's go. There might
be traffic on the way and we should do our hest to avoid
it so we aren't late."

Kagiso held his wife's stretched waist. They were

counting down days till they meet their little girl.

***
At the apartment, Lorato smiled as she was getting a
facebeat. She couldn't wait for the dinner and he did all
this?
"You're so beautiful."
"Thank you."

Ten minutes later, the makeup lady was done and she
stared at her reflection. It took her back to her wedding
da-
She paused. Today was also their one year wedding
anniversary.
"Shawn…" she breathed out with a smile and looked at
her ring. She removed the robe that covered her dress
as she slid her feet into the new shoes.

Apparently a driver was coming to pick her up and she

snapped a few pictures to update to WhatsApp later
tonight. She did a little twirl of excitement.

***

Owame who was brought by her employer to the hotel

didn't know what was going on. She was just inside the
hotel room with three kids and the whole month of being
with these kids? She was exhausted. The lady had her
look after three young kids and they were a handful. She
was glad that they were all asleep. She sat on the
couch. Wondering whose party it was but she was here
to do her job so there was no fun for her. The pay was
really good. A solid three thousand and it went into her
savings. She wondered if Lorato had succeeded with
her plans and if she should call to ask about her share.
She should give it one more month.

Inside the conference room, Lorato's cousin started her

Facebook.
"Hi guys, so I'm at a surprise party and wow…"

The comments started flooding in as she showed the

venue and the people attending.

***

At Alone's house, Tebogo who had still been itching to

ask Alone about her mystery man looked at the house.
She could see a watch lying on the table.
"Is that his?"
"Who?"
"Your man."
"I'm still not revealing him."
Alone went to place the two boxes of pizza at the
kitchen.
"Let me change out of these clothes."

She left Tebogo in the house and she headed to her

bedroom. she checked her phone hoping he sent a
message or something but nothing.

She went to Facebook as she sat on her bed, removing

her heels slowly. People were sharing screenshoots of a
live. She curiously went to the live video and joined the
live stream. It's not like she had much to do.

"So now we are about to surprise my cousin. Guys

marry rich men and men who love you."
Alone smiled. Men who did such cute things for their
women were keepers.

She unbuttoned her shirt as the live continued but the

room was dark. So the cousin was there.

She listened as the door opened in the video letting in a

bit of light into the room. Her eyes were covered by
someone and she couldn't clearly see who it was.
"Suuuurpriiiiiseee!" The lights went on and Alone's heart
stopped beating for a solid minute as tears rolled down.
That-that was Shawn? And his wife… seeing Shawn
covering his wife's eyes and he-he looked so happy.

Miguel's Sure Thing started playing and her heart broke

more as his hands went to her waist and she turned to
kiss his lips with a smile. Lolo's lips trembled and she let
out a little scream watching them look so in love.

Her chest caved in on her as she switched off the phone

covering her mouth and crying. She cried for minutes till
the door opened and Tebogo frowned.
"Lolo? Lolo breath. What's wrong?"
She opened her mouth but closed it as she wheezed,
failing to breath.
"Pump e kae?"(where is is asthma pump?)
Alone's breathes came in intervals as she placed her
hand over her chest trying to breath.

Tebogo moved from the bed and opened Lolo's bag,

throwing the contents on the floor. She saw the asthma
pump and checked the dates.
"Lolo e expirile."(it's expired)
Lolo cried running out of breath as her lungs fought to
supply enough oxygen but failed.
"Sh*t! I'm taking you to the hospital."

A pregnant Tebogo helped Lolo off the bed as she

placed Lolo's hand over her own shoulder. Lucky for her
she was a few inches taller than Lolo.

***

At the hotel, Lorato grinned. She sat down next to him

amd his hand was on her waist. She leaned in to
whisper in her ear.
"Thank you so much babe."
He smiled.
"You deserve it."
"And you deserve a little show later today."
He chuckled.
"I can't wait. I cannot wait."

Lorato dropped her head to smile secretly. They are

having sex later today. Her plan was halfway there."
People came up to her table to wish her a happy
birthday and she grinned. This was beautiful. A snack
bar and alcohol bar was available. Unlimited. Perfect.
"You're beautiful today."
"Thank you hubby."
She fixed his shirt and she pecked his cheeks, her
maroon lipstick showing on his cheek.
"Do I have to say something?"
"We can do it together babe and disappear on them
yeah?"

Shawn suggested and she nodded. He squeezed her

thigh.

Kagiso observed and his brother was in love with his

wife. Fiona was right, he raised Shawn and he should let
him be.

Shawn and Lorato's wedding song played which was

Shallow by Lady Gaga and Mia watched as she sipped
on her wine. She looked at her husband who'd rather be
anywhere but here.

They danced in the middle of the room as people

cheered and took pictures and videos of them. It was so
romantic.
Lorato laughed as he spun her around with a smile and
pulled her to him. Her ugly laugh filled the room and he
smiled at her.

The song ended as the cake was brought out with

twenty nine candles.

The cousin was still on her live as people heart reacted

and it was now viral the whole country. She whisper
talked as they turned to sing happy birthday for Lorato.
She was so pretty in a white dress that shaped her
figure and had a little slit and it was so sparkly. Her
husband was handsome next to her as he looked at her
while everyone sang hapoy birthday.

"If this isn't love then I don't know what is " she said on
the live as John Legend's Nervous played in the
background and the lights dimmed. It was swoony…

"Make a wish!" People shouted and Lorato looked at

Shawn then blew out all her twenty nine candles.
"What did you wish for?"
She looked around them and whispered in his ear.
"That we may be a family of three soon."
He smiled.
"I'd love that."

A slow slide of their wedding pictures and their dating

days was projected onto the white wall. He held her
hand leading her to the front.
"Ladies and gentlemem, thank you for honouring the
invitation to my wife's twenty nineth."
Lorato nudged his gently and he held her waist.
"She deserves everything and more. We meet two years
ago and now we're celebrating our one year wedding
anniversary?"
Lorato looked at him as the camera flashed and Mia
smiled sipping her wine. The core instigator of chaos
and since she was the one controlling whatw as playing
on the screen…

Meanwhile, Owame was led by her employer to the

conference room.
"You need to enjoy too. My cousin is coming to take the
kids."

Shawn spoke and Lorato kept on adding parts as a

video started playing.

'We'll be a million richer. That man makes almost six

hundred thousand a month just from working at C
Corporations, a global company and that's big bucks. A
million is small change to him. He probably earns more
than that if he had been given a higher rank because I
don't know if he got promoted or what while I was away.'

The whole room went dead silent as the cousin quickly

tried to emd the live vidro but her phone froze as it
continued being live.

Lorato heard her voice and turned to face the video. It

was her in the bedroom. Her throat dried up as her heart
raced.

Everyone's jaws dropped and Shawn's grip on her waist

tightened painfully.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆.𝑴𝒆

~44~

The cousin managed to end the live video and quickly

deleted it from her profile as more and videos and
recordings of Lorato talking to her boyfriend and
Owame? Who was Owame? She put her phone away
and caught up to the drama on screen. Lorato had been
cheating?
At the other end of the room, Fiona clapped her hands
as Kagiso said yoh every second. She was sure he was
probably running out of the yohs at this point. And
Kagiso wanted to believe Lorato over his brother? If she
was Shawn, she was going to give Kagiso a hard time
for that but she isn't but yoh ha.a. A lot is going on.

Mia smiled into her third wine glass of the night. She
was invited for the drama and she just came for it. If she
was the Lorato woman, she would have been going into
hiding at this very moment because imagine your dirty
laundry being aired out like that?

As if she was summoned, Owamne stood lile a deer in

headlights in the middle of the room. All eyes on her

The recordings and video stopped playing, Shawn being

gracious enough not to air Owame and Lorato's
backgrounds and how they were separated. He smiled.
"And that ladies and gentlemen, before anyone tries to
accuse me of anything, that's how everything unfolded."

Silence. Lorato's parents felt dizzy and they knewy theor

daughter. The look on her face when she was guilty of
something. And Owame? The twin they never adopted
because they wanted one child and not two. How did
Lorato find her?

Lorato broke down crying. H-how did he find out?

Everything was against her and had he shown these to
her in private she would have found a hacker to delete
the evidence and he would seem like a mad man trying
to convunce people he was not at fault. Heck, she would
have hit her head against the door and threw herself
down the flight of stairs and accused him of gender
based violence and sued him for every cent.

He was evil for this. Lorato's parents came to her and

Owame was so lost.
"And there was Owame, the imposter who claimed to be
Lorato. Two scammers." He said. He moved closer to
Lorato as her parents stepped away.
"Monday you are signing the divorce papers and you are
walking out with completely nothing."
"And if I don't sign?" she snarled at him and he saw thw
manipulative streak in her eyes.
"I become a widower." Her eyes widened as she
stepped back and he stepped closer.
"And you can't run. I'll find you and it won't be nice losing
that baby and you joining the afterlife would it?"
She bit her lower lip and shook her head.
"Good. Two options. Sign the divorce papers when they
are served or I become a widower and either way it's a
win for me. Checkmate, wife."

He stepped back, fixing his shirt and walked out of the

conference room.

Lorato looked at all the eyes on her and her mother

pulled her arm as whispers broke out in the room and
Mia refilled her glass.
"Cheers Rafey." she raised her glass to him and he gave
his wife a blank look.
"Mood killer." She drank her wine, listening in on the
gossip that was soon going to be known by the whole
country.

Her cousins looked at each other by their table.

"Bo Lorato are not serious."
"Cheating? And being pregnant and wanting to pin it on
another?"
"Was she that greedy for money?"
"Conniving even. Does Shawn need a shoulder to cry
on?"
One askee and they all giggled.
"I think you meant to say you want him hetween your
legs."
"Of course. You heard Lorato say Owame shouldn't
sleep with him. Go raya gore Shawn o monate ne a
tshaba gore twin ya go kapa maikutlo."(It means Shawn
gives good sex and she was scared her twin was going
to catch feelings)
Laughter erupted as they ate their free food and drank
free alcohol.
"So he's up for grabs."
"Yes. We might try our luck."

Owame's eyea burned with tears at the judgemental

stares she got. Where was Shawn so she could explain
how it happened? And why..

She ran out of the conference room while Lorato got a

stern lecture from her mother.
"You are going to fix this. Abort that bastard and beg for
forgiveness if you have to. What a disgrace."
She hiccuped mid tears.
"He's going to kill me."
"He loves you and he's hurt. Use your vagjna…waitse
Lorato o mpaletse."(you shocked me)

She sniffed.
"Wipe those crocodile tears. You created this mess, fix
it. Almost a year? Wa peka."(you're crazy)
Her mother walked away angrily and people were
looking at her with disgust. She didn't love Shawn. She
just wanted his money. Wouldn't they do anything for
money?

Kagiso held Fiona'd hand as they got out of the

conference room.
"Let me take you to the car and try to find Shawn."
"Okay."

***

At the hospital, Alone opened her eyes with a oxygen

mask on. She closed her eyes remembering how she
got here. She knew her place as his side chick, why was
she surprised?

She removed her mask and looked at Tebogo.

"Hey.."
"You scared me. What's wrong?"
She tried to sit upright but thought against it. She rubbed
her eyes.
"I-I overreacted on something."
"It must have been too serious to call it an overreaction
to the point of you being here."
Alone rubbed her eyes and sighed.
"I'll be okay. I'm sorry if I stressed you, I shouldn't be
stressing the baby."
The doctor opened the door and peeked.
"Ms Puso, you're awake."
Alone nodded. She wondered how long it had been.
Probably a few hours.
"Well, I checked for a few things just to be safe. Can I
say some things with her here?"
Alone nodded. "She's family, it's fine."
"It's safe to say you're good. Next time always have an
asthma pump, not expired ones."
Tebogo agreed. That was the point she wanted to make.
"And the baby is okay. It didn't really affect the foetus to
that exte-"
Alone thinned her eyes and Tebogo looked at Alone.
"The what?" Alone asked, with a lower and softer voice.
"You didn't know? You're pregnant."
She closed her eyes and wore the oxygen mask to
breath. She had her suscpicions and had been waiting
for next week to go the doctor. Being in hospital on a
Friday night was not on her bingo cards.
Her cousin was pregnant? She was probably having
problems with the man she posted in December. She
thought Alone was starting to be okay and grounded in
relationships and she was back to square one. She
probably won't get married anytime soon if she was
already having problems with the man a few weeks in.
Alone removed thr mask.
"Thank you doctor."
The doctor nodded and walked out.
"How do you feel?"
"Okay.."
"Lolo are you sure? Do you want the baby?"
Alone looked at her cousin as if she grew horns. Of
course she wants the baby. Single parent or not.
"Yes. Thank you for bringing me to the hospital. I don't
want you to be stressed with my problems."
"What are cousins and friends for? Rest. I'll call Mofenyi
to come pick me up later. You were always there for me
without complaining, just rest and gain your strength
back."
"Thank you."
Lolo wore the mask again and closed her eyes.

***
At the hotel, Kagiso finalky spotted Shawn who was
holding his phone.
"Shawn, what was that?"
"The end of a marriage."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"So you can say I resolve it peacefully. Lorato is
manipulative, she got everyone turning against me
saying I'm cheating when it's the other way round. At
least now everyone knows who she really is."

Kagiso opened his mouth and then closed it.

"How does it make you feel?"
"Relieved."
"Are you sure? This woman was your wife."
"Not when you have been living with a stranger for
months."
"Shawn?"
Shawn looked at him.
"I'm sorry." Shawn nodded and walked away trying to
call Alone. He closed his eyes. He should drive to her
place right now.

Her phone was offline.

***
At the hospital, Tebogo switched on Alone's phone. She
was preparing to go home. She guessed the password
and it was Shawn's birthday. It unlocked Alone's iPhone
as it loaded. She placed the phone down and got up
from the chair. She stretched when the phone started
ringing and she quickly picked it up. She saw the caller
ID. Whoever was calling was saved as My Heart….
She wondered whether to pick up or not but she ended
up picking up the call.
"Alone's phone, hello."
"Hello, can I speak to Alone?"
Her mouth parted softly. That voice was to die for. She
didn’t even know the owner of the voice but….
"Uhm-huh?"
"Kopa go bua le Alone."(Can I speak to Alone.)

Damn! Double damn!

"Uhm-she's in hospital."
She wasn't sure if she heard him curse or what?
"Which one?"
She reluctantly gave the directions and sat down. She
wasn't leaving just yet.
"Thank you."
He cut the call and she looked as the phone as the line
went dead. His English had a British accent and it
sounded hot in his deep voice. She was practically
married but it didn't hurt to admire every now and then.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~45~

Inside his car, Shawn removed the ring and rubbed his
finger. By the end of next week he was going to be a
free man. His lawyer had said it was uncontested and
very clear so it was only going to take a day at court.
And part of the divorce conditions he had stated was
that Lorato had to stop using his last name and had to
revert back to her maiden name and Lorato had to sign
the papers so they are processed as soon as possible.
There is no division of property or anything like that so it
was a clean and fast break.

He started the car. He had questions on what happened

to Lolo and everything. His phone rang and Mia's name
flashed on the screen.
"Hello?"
"Shawn, you're trending online."
"Wipe it all out. I'll owe you yet another one."
Mia laughed.
"Okay."

She cut the call and he reversed out of the parking spot
calling his lawyer. He was even paying extra for this. But
as long as it was out of his hair for good.
"Kgotla?"
"Are you at the house?"
"Yes. Waiting for her."
"Good." It didn't need a sheriff and he technically didn't
have time for one.

***

At the hospital

Tebogo watched Alone sleep as she yawned. Maybe

she should go now?

Meanwhile Shawn arrived at the hospital and he had

said he was Alone's family as he was asked. He was led
to Alone's room. He thanked the nurse and lightly
knocked on the door before he opened it.
Tebogo turned and her eyes widened in surprise. Her
eyes were probably deceiving her. She blinked a couple
of times.

Shawn looked at Tebogo but his focus was on Alone

who was fast asleep with an oxygen mask on.

"Shawn?" Tebogo asked.

"In the flesh. Hi." Tebogo rubbed her eyes.
"You an-and Lolo?"

Shawn didn't answer that. He was more focused on

what happened for her to end up here.
"What happened to her?"
"An asthma attack and her asthma pumps expired."
He breathed out as he finally walked closer to the bed.
Tebog could smell the cologne and she couldn't pinpoint
its name. He was taller than he had been ten years ago
and-Lolo was with him? Again? How? When? His voice
sounded better than it did on the phone. She honestly
had no idea.
She watched him hold Lolo's hand and rub it in slow
circles. He didn't wake Alone up. If she had thought he
was handsome when he was seventeen, then as a man
he was-she swallowed and pressed her thighs together.
He was the man one would cheat for, he was…he had
an aura that no longer resonated sweet but control and
dominance.

She was still in a state of shock. They were back

together? He was the France guy? Why would Lolo
keep this away from her?
"Uhm, I brought her to the hospital."
"Thank you. I'm sure you're tired. I'll take over."
"I'm not tired at all." He just looked at her then back at
Lolo. He'll wait for her to wake up in the morning. Did
anything really matter when he was around her? Not
really.

Tebogo's phone rang and she saw it was Mofenyi

calling.
"Hello? I'm on my way out."

She got the keys to Lolo's car and house and placed it
by the bedside table.
"Sharp."

She cut the call.

"Maybe we can catch up some day? It's been years."
Shawn didn't answer her.
"I'm assuming that's a no. No big deal. Tell Lolo I had to
go home. Bye."

She walked out and closed the door behind her. Shawn
sat on the chair and he switched off his phone. He
placed his head on the bed and closed his eyes. He
missed her so so much and it killed him to give her the
cold shoulder but he had to fix his own mess without
dragging her to the mix. His eyes closed as he went to
sleep.

***

At the apartment, Lorato quickly packed her bags.

Shawn wouldn't kill her. She laughed. He was lying and
she won't sign the damned papers. She's leaving and
will be back when he has calmed down and when she
aborted the child. Her bedroom door opened as she
screamed.
"Now, now we aren't here to cause any harm."
A man with a gun walked closer to her.
She swallowed as beads of sweat started building on
her forehead and the other man in a suit opened his bag
and took out a pen and papers? The armed man placed
the gun rim on her temple and she raised her hands.
"Y-you can take everything in the house, I do-"
"Follow me." She was nudged and she quickly followed
the man in the suit whilst scared her brains might be
blown out.
"Sit."

She quickly sat down. He placed the papers and pen on

the table and stood next to her.
"Start signing and I know what your signature looks like.
Try to sign the wrong way and you're good as gone. It'll
be a robbery gone wrong. Wouldn't want to die on your
birthday, would you?"

She shook her head with tears. She could feel her
bladder pressing on her.
"Where there is a line, sign."
"I want to go to the bathroom." She pleaded.
The gun cocked and she screamed, pissing herself and
it flowing down her leg.
"Sign the papers."

Her hands shook as she picked the pen and started to

sign where she was instructed to. Tha papers were
taken and the lawyer put them in his bag.
"Good. Tuesday you'll appear in court for the hearing
and for the first decree. Should you try any tricks? You'll
be six feet under in less than a week. Nice working with
you Ms Lorato Mosweu."

They walked out and Lorato cried covering her mouth.

***

Saturday morning came and Shawn had been awake for

the past hour. He had headed out to get some coffee for
both of them and breakfast. He pushed open the door
and walked inside. She was still asleep. He placed the
food down before he took his seat. Taking his coffee, he
had a sip. Now knowing that talking about the future with
Alone wasn't going to be him seeming like he was lying
or getting her hopes up. He placed the cup down as she
stirred in her sleep before eventually her eyes opened.
She looked a bit confused and she closed her eyes
again, her oxygen mask misting up. He held her hand
and rubbed it just as she opened her eyes again.

She removed her mask and looked at him.

"Shawn?"

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~46~
At the hospital

Shawn didn't let go of her hand but she tried to remove it

from his big one.
"Hey…hey calm down."
"Why are you here?"
She looked at their joined hands and she breathed out.
"To see you. I called yesterday and ke ha gotwe you're
here. An asthma attack. What's wrong?"
She looked into his eyes and she could see he
genuinely wanted to know but she had to know her
place.
"Nothing."
"It's not nothing Lolo, talk to me."
She held back her tears and she finally removed her
hand from his and brought her hands together.
"Shawn, it's really nothing."
"Alone, I'm not leaving until you talk to me."
She looked at him. Still in that suit from the live video
and she rubbed her eyes.
"You spent the night here?"
"Of course, where else would I be Alone?"
"With your wife."
"I am with my wife in this room."
It was him saying things like this and her breaking her
own heart when he does romantic things for his actual
wife. She tried not to smile but she did as he stood up
and sat by the corner of the bed.

She sighed.
"Maybe this was a mistake Shawn don't you think? I
thought I'd love you till you had enough of me but it
actually happened. This whole month you were so cold
and that showed that the end was near."
Shawn didn't say anything. He wanted her to continue
and try to drive her point home.
"You love your wife, it's evident and this is you revenging
what happened ten years back. Maybe I'm not cut out to
be a side chick and the first few weeks were fun, hiding
in plain sight and the sweet nothings whispered in each
other's ears. The white Christmas, it was fun but it came
to an end. I had specific times to call and my stupid
heart agreed because why? I love you. It's simple as
that but can we put an end to it? Just-let me go because
I'm not strong enough to do that and while at it rip this
damn heart out of my chest so the feelings can die and I
can forget you."
"Alone?"
"Rra?"
He rubbed her chin..
"I'm sorry angel, you still haven't told me why you're
here. Ke a go utlwa autlwe? Mma Kgotla? Ntebe."(I hear
you okay. Mrs Kgotla? Look at me)
Alone looked at Shawn.
"I asked you to trust me and this was where the trust
came in." He kissed her hands.
"I love you Alone."
"Yet you are married."
"Should I tell you why I got married?"
Her eyes welled with more tears. He wanted to nail the
last nail in her coffin right?
She nodded and moved her hands away from his. She
was still ending this.
"It was two years ago, I was getting older and me and
Lorato had been dating for a month then. Just regular
dates..she seemed perfect at the time."
"Then go be with your perfect wife Shawn!"
He breathed out and took her hands. He watched her
wear the oxygen mask.
"I thought perfect would do as my wife but even if at the
time she was perfect, I still wished it was you. I had your
initials on my finger…I couldn't bring myself to remove
them. Perfect still doesn't mean it's working and I forced
it. I tried to fall for her touch but I kept thinking of the way
it was, I tried Lolo but I was passing time in her arms."
He wiped her tears.
"I did find out that she had been planning on defrauding
me, even before we saw each other again. I long
planned the divorce."

She frowned and removed her mask.

"I didn't want to involve you in the shenanigans Lolo, you
don't deserve that. You deserve a love that's loud. I'll
give you that angel, I had to sort out my mess okay?"
"But yesterday you were kissing her and you surprised
her."
"It was all part of a plan, I was spending more time at
home so she doesn't catch on that I knew. That she had
a twin sister while she went to her lover for more than
eight months and came back pregnant to try and pin the
baby on me. It is just a lot of unnecessary information
you shouldn't concern yourself with."
Lolo blinked.
"Y-"
"I dropped the evidence at her birthday and the wedding
anniversary. She signed the divorce papers yesterday,
I'll be fully free in six weeks after getting the final decree
and Tuesday i'm getting the first one."
She leaned back. Trying to digest what he said.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Would you have believed me? You already told yourself
that you're my glorified side chick, you are not and you
had begged me not to divorce. Why?"
"I didn't want to be labeled as a home wrecker and I
wouldn't have believed you. In my head I would have
thought you were just giving me false hope."
"Exactly. And I agree with you. We should end this."
She went quiet.
"And start on a new slate…"he tried to kiss her but she
pushed him back.
"You kissed your w-soon to be ex wife. Don't kiss me."
He sighed.
"You're angry and me. Intshwarele."(forgive me)
"Had you told me, even if I thought you would be lying I
wouldn't be here."
He frowned.
"I saw the live video of the birthday and it was so
romantic and you kissed her and looked so in love with
her. It seems so insignificant but it broke my heart
because the time I saw you with her you weren't touchy
touchy or romantic."
"I'm sorry, okay?"

She just looked at him.

"So sorry for not telling you and making you feel like an
option. I hurt your feelings and ke kopa maitshwarelo
Mma Kgotla(forgive me Mrs Kgotla), even for that kiss
that made you land here. It was never my intention, I just
wanted to protect you. I'm sorry." He rubbed her face
since he can't kiss her.
Alone sighed.
"What now?"
"I'm moving out from where I was staying."
"Okay."
"I wanted to move in with you."
"Isn't it too soon Shawn?"

He looked at her.
"I'm walking on eggshells here aren't I? We still don't
have to share a room. Alone, I'm not leaving you. At all."

She nodded.
"I'll communicate better and not hide things from you."
"Thank you."
"How are you feeling?"
"Much better. And I still love you okay?"
"I know angel. I brought food. Eat."

***

At the apartment, Lorato had locked herself in and she

had her knees to her face as she rocked herself back
and forth. Her eyes were red from lack of sleep. Her
phone was still in her bag. She had taken a bath after
those men left. Then she jad been on guard ever since.
They said they were going to kill her, she almost lost her
life yesterday. She continued rocking herself back and
forth, back and forth.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~47~

At the hospital

"Why don't you freshen up and really scrub your lips

while you're at it." He chuckled.
"Are you chasing me away?"
"No. I think I'll be discharged later today, and you can
come with some of my clothes."
"Okay. Give me two hours or less."
"Alright."
She watched him walk out. He had the spare key to her
house so it was no big deal. Should she dare to hope
that soon, they'll be a family? A proper one?
She slid her hands underneath the sheets and placed
them on her still flat stomach.
"There is hope for us baby." She whispered.

Outside in the parking lot, Tebogo kissed her fiancè then

stepped out of the car. She couldn't wait to see Alone
and fully ask her questions.
"Pick me up in an hour okay?"
"Okay. What do you want to eat?"
"Uhm, anything is fine."
She blew him a kiss and he smiled reversing out of the
parking spot.

Tebogo, in her sneakers and jeans, started her walk to

the entrance. She should have brought an umbrella or
worn a hat at least. Her bag in hand she continued
walking. She walked past Shawn who was speaking to
the phone and he seemed to be in a hurry. Her eyes
went to his fingers but she didn't see a ring there. She
walked as fast as her weight allowed her.

By the time she reached Lolo's room, she was

breathless. Sbe knocked on the door.
"Come in."
She walked inside and Lolo was holding her phone.
"Tebogo? You look tired. Sit down. Should I call a
doctor?" She got off the bed and Tebogo shook her
head.
"Let me give you water? Go rileng?"(what's wrong?)

Alone poured water for Tebogo and handed it to her.

Tebogo calmed down in minutes and handed Alone the
cup back.
"Thanks."
"Sure." Alone sat on the edge of the bed and looked at
her cousin.
"Ke ntse ke hapana le Shawn ha."(I just walked past
Shawn)
Alone nodded. About that…
"Tebogo, how did he know I was here?" If she
remembered correctly she switched off the damn phone
when he was kissing his soon-to-be ex-wife and then the
asthma attack.
"I-I'm sorry."
Alone tilted her head, wanting an explanation.
"I switched on your phone when I was about to leave, I
guessed your password was his date of birth since you
even have it tattoed."
Alone blinked.
"You opened my phone? Tebogo? My privacy?"
"Lolo, calm down. I didn't open any messages-"
"But I didn't even give you permission to open it. It was
off for a reason, it set off my triggers."
Tebogo shrunk back at Alone's raised tone.
"Tebogo I love you but that was crossing a boundary."
"I'm sorry." Alone got comfortable in bed and forced
herself to be calm.
"Okay…you switched on my phone…"
"He called. And I answered."
"Modimo!"

Tebogo had been curious to know who the mystery man

was.
"And told him."
"He was asking and judging by the contact name, I
assumed it was your boyfriend. What I hadn't been
expecting was the mystery man being Shawn."
She looked at her cousin.
"After what I had seen trend when I got home home
makes it all make sense."
Alone closed her eyes.
"He is married Lolo. You were seeing a married man?"
Tebogo clapped her hands. Alone opened her eyes to
look at her older cousin.
"And it really doesn't matter what happened with his
wife, you slept willingly with a married man? La ha
gotwe o rata motho."(even if you love a person)
"You're judging me?"
"Ee. Thata."(yes. Very)
Alone licked her dry lips.
"And you are even pregnant for a married man? I get
that sometimes your relationships don't work out but not
a married man. That's why you hid him, you knew you
were going to be called a homewrecker and basically
that's true. If his wife finds out she'll sue you."

Alone watched her cousin and she smiled tearfully.

"I didn't even try to destroy his marriage Tebogo. I
accepted that I'm not marriage material and I'm okay
with it. I love him, very much so. It hurt yeah, knowing he
was going home to his wife but I chose him. Pelo yaaka
e sematla and it can't let him go and I know how people
are brutal to women in cases of cheating."

She paused.
"But it happened. I'm pregnant and I still love him. It
changes nothing."
"Alone? Are you hearing yourself? O ineeletsa bo side
chick?(you're gladly accepting being a side chick?),
soon it won't be just him. He might forgive his wife, men
who built with their wives never let them go because
from the little videos I saw he didn't mention a divorce
even. She was there when you were not, she was
picking up the pieces of a heart she didn't break
because you stupidly decided to have sex while
underage and broke his heart because he was nice and
you think he'll leave for you. He might have spent the
night here but that might mean nothing."
Alone looked at her cousin. She was not defending
herself. She loved Shawn. It was as simple as that for
her.
"And when he goes back, you'll go after our men
because you do married men now."
Alone smiled with a broken heart and tears filled her
beautiful eyes.
"Is that how you see me? You think I'll come after your
men?"
"Go pala eng? Side chicks have no limits and a smart
girl like you limited herself to be one."
Alone looked down.
"Do you think your men compare to Shawn? I don't even
see married men like that but okay. I don't want to say
anything I'll regret. Please leave."

Alone got under the sheet and closed her eyes, not
saying anything further.
"Alone-"
She didn't reply and Tebogo got up and walked out.
Alone cried silently in the hospital room.

***

At the apartment, Shawn unlocked the door and he

opened it to find Lorato looking spooked as she quickly
got up.
"Hi."
Lorato's eyes filled with tears.
"I won't bother you. Please don't kill me."
He nodded and passed her heading to his bedroom to
get all his stuff. He locked the door to his room and
started packing.

Lorato closed her eyes, fatigue starting to come over

her. She fell asleep on one of the couches.

In thirty minutes, Shawn had cleared his wardrobe and

everything. He carried the first suitcase to the car and
came back for more of his things. The house lease will
be ending end of February. He'll want Lorato out by
Wednesday after the first decree. He walked back to his
room to make sure he didn't leave a thing. When he was
sure, he walked out of the house and locked Lorato
inside. She had a key, for now.
***

Two hours later, Shawn walked inside the hospital with

Lolo's overnight bag. He came back with a cab since
Lolo's car was in the hospital parking lot, he'll drive them
home.

Inside the hospital room, Lolo spoke with the doctor.

"I should come next week and register the pregnancy?"
"Yes. And for a scan as well."

Lolo nodded and got the discharge forms and signed

them.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."

The door opened and Shawn walked in. He greeted the

doctor and then her.

"Don't forget to collect your asthma pumps as well

before you leave."
"I won't.'' The doctor excused herself and Shawn palced
the overnight bag down.
"That was fast, let me go change and we go okay?"
"Okay. Still not allowed to kiss you?"
"Until I see you scrubbing your lips,no."
She got off the bed and got the bag, heading to the
small bathroom to change.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~48~

At the apartment

Lorato opened her eyes to the dark room and she

looked around for a few seconds before she got up and
switched on the lights.

She needed to go. Get out of this space. She won't feel
threatened but what if they think she ran and killed her.
She wiped her falling tears and walked barefoot to the
bedroom. She opened her bag and she called her
boyfriend.
"Hello.."
She started crying on the phone. Her words not audible.
"Lorato, I'll be there okay?"
"Okay." she wiped her tears and sat on the bed. Her
phone buzzed in her hand and she saw her mother call.
"Lorato? Did you fix things?"

She sniffed. She didn't have the mental capacity to

answer that question. She cut the call and she tried ro
get herself together and she continued packing. All she
had left after Owame stole from her. Almost an hour
later, her phone buzzed and she quickly answered.
"Hello?"
"I'm outside."
"Can you come in and help me with the bags?"
"Okay."

She told him which apartment and she looked at the

now empty room. She removed her ring and slid it in her
pocket. It was worth more than ten thousand. She also
had her engagement ring too. Worth a lot so she was
going to sell it as well.

She opened the door and she hugged him, crying.

"Thank you."
"Let's pack. We have to talk."
She nodded as she led him to the bedroom to get her
stuff.

***

Alone sat on the bed as he walked out of the bathroom.

"Your mind's been preoccupied ever since we left the
hospital? What is it?"
She opened her mouth but Shawn's phone rang. She
watched him pick it up and answer.
"Hello."
"Shawn, now that everything has calmed down can we
meet to talk tomorrow? As a family and resolve this?"

That was Lorato's mother and he chuckled.

"There is nothing to talk about. The damage has been
done."
There was silence.
"Shawn we are still family and I know Lorato does things
without thinking, we can resolve this."
"Unfortunately not."
"Shawn, we accepted you into our family. You had no
parents and you're an orphan-"
"They didn't raise a vile human being."
There was movement in the background. He was about
to cut the call when a male voice sounded through his
phone.
"Hello? Shawn, forgive my wife. She is still high on
emotions.."
"And I genuinely don't care about anything to do with
you guys, I wa respectful enough and because my
parents aren't alive I'm obliged to speak to you guys?
Pleae go to the nearest hell and never contact me
again. Kana nka batla magadi ame, le tla afforda go
ntuela?"(I might demand my bride price back, can you
afford to oay me back?)
There was silence.
"Exactly. Have a good night."

He cut the call and Alone just looked at her toes before
looking at him.
"You were about to say something baby?"
She had said separate rooms but here they were in her
room and he eas half naked. She had helped him pack
his things into rhe wardrobe and it was oddly satisfying
for their clothes to be in one area.
"Nothing. I'm tired."
He wore a fresh pair of boxers before he walked to the
bed.
"You barely ate too."
"Juat tired."
He rubbed her chin and she smiled a little.
"You're sure sure that your marriage is over?"
"Yes. I explained this earlier Alone."
"Okay okay." she pulled the comforter over her body and
he kissed her head.
"You don't want to do anything? It is a Saturday after
all."
She shook her head. Her mind replaying Tebogo's
words over and over again. It was wrong that she had
been dating a married man, she knew that. He
conscience had been dealing with that bu-but being told
that she'd come after the men her cousins had? It was
below the belt and it hurt her. She would understand if it
was someone outside but her own cousin? They
basically grew up as sisters. She had stopped herself
throughout the day from texting a long paragraph
explaining how that made her feel.
"Okay, get some rest. I'll catch up on work."
"Cuddle me."
He looked at her before he pulled back the covers and
joined her in bed.

He held her waist and she breathed softly before turning

to face him. She touched his face, looking at him
adoringly like she did at sixteen.
"I'm real angel."
"I know. Shawn?"
"Ma?"
"Let's say if I was to fall pregnant, hypothetically
speaking you wouldn't think I'm trying to trap you? You
just left your marriage because of what you explained."
"You think she left me jaded? She didn't. No. I won't feel
like you're trapping me. Ebile why aren't you pregnant?"
He gave him a look and he looked at her back.
"What kind of question is that?"
"Lolo, I've been f*cking you raw for over two months
now…"
"So? That doesn't mean I have to fall pregnant. Ke
God's favourite. Gape what if you are infertile?"
He chuckled. "Me? I'm not darling."
He laughed kissing her neck.
"We have to rectify that then? Hmmm? Get you
pregnant right now?"
She pushed him back.
"Shawn I asked for cuddles and not d*ck."
"You can get both.."
She laughed.
"Wa lapisa."(you're annoying)

He held her tighter.

"But on a serious note, a baby or two wouldn't be a bad
idea. One girl and one boy?"
She smiled.
"It wouldn't…"
"We can start the process now…"
She rolled her eyes at him.
"Just hold me." she yawned and he kissed her head.
"Okay." Alone closed her eyes with a little smile and he
watched her fall asleep.

***

At Tebogo's house

She laid in bed as her man rubbed her tummy.

"Mofenyi do you think I was wrong?"
He sighed as he looked at her.
"Maybe your delivery was not the right one. You said this
was her highschool sweetheart. Even the most smartest
people make stupud decisions when it comes to love."

She sighed as he kissed her.

"She won't take my calls."
"You hurt her. You said it yourself that you are more lile
sisters than cousins, saying she'd come after other men
was a bit too much."
"Has she come after you though?"
"No." Not like he'd say no if she did but he liked that
Tebogo's cousins and family respected boundaries.
None of them tried anything funny.
She looked at her husband-to-be. She believed him.
"Give her time to cool off before you apologise."
She nodded.
"I guess I can do that. I'll stay out of her personal
business from hereon."
"Good. That's the right thing to do. I love you."
She smiled and kissed him.
"I love you more. I'm counting weeks from here."

He chuckled.
"And I can't wait to see you in a white dress."
"I wish mama was here."
He hugged her.
"She's watching over you. She's resting now."
"I know."

She relaxed in his arms.

***

Owame laid in bed. Her bosses' hadn't said anything but

she wondered what their thoughts were on them. She
closed her eyes, they probably thought she was a fraud.
Or that she might scam them.

Had Lorato not seeked her out and Owame, desperate

for a relationship with her twin sister, blindly followed.
She swallowed as her throat closed up. She grew up
struggling and she had got low points but because she
was an orphan and under social services she was still
sponsored for school and she stupidly chose film and
television thinking she was going to be the next Karabo
Moroka.

She cried undercovers.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~49~

That Sunday morning, Lolo woke up first. She could feel

her stomach starting to roll. It was too early for this. She
got out of bed and picked up her robe as she walked
barefoot to the bathroom.

She closed the door and bent over the toilet. What was
the right moment to tell a man you're pregnant? Should
she send him flowers tomorrow with a cute message?
Should she wake him up?

She flushed the toilet and then started to brush her teeth
before walking back to bed.

She was pulled closer the minute she got undercovers.

He sleepily kissed her face.

"Your breath is fresh. Why were you throwing up?"

His sleepy voice did something to her as he opened his
eyes and looked at her.
He kissed her lips softly and she gave in to the kiss,
placing her hands on his shoulders.
"Ma?"
He broke the kiss and searched her face.
"I'm-"

Alone paused.
"I'm fine just a stomach bug that didn't go away the
whole week."
He raised an eyebrow.
"I swear."
"Okay." He kissed her and she wrapped her arms
around his neck as she opened her legs for him.

***

Later that morning, Alone had breakfast and she was

thankful that the food didn't make her nauseous or make
her vomit. She'll reveal it in a cute way? Surprise him?
She needed ideas. Usually her go to person would have
been Tebogo but-

She shook her head as she tried thinking of something.

"You look deep in thought." He was on his second cup of
coffee with his iPad on his lap. Instead of contacts he
was wearing his glasses.
"Just thinking about-Okay I need your thoughts on
something."

He placed the coffee mug down and shifted his attention

to her.
"Yesterday, Tebogo said some hurtful things to me."
"Describe hurtful, Tebogo your cousin?"

She nodded, tucking her feet under her legs.

"Kana you are still married. The video trended. And
before I knew what you told me, I knew I was a
homewrecker. Just that I do love you and willingly
became a side chick."
"You called me a blind cheater."
She threw a cushion at him.
"That's not the point Shawn."
"Sorry ee. Ke reeditse."(I'm listening)
"Okay fine. I know gore I'm a homewrecker and I
accepted that marriage might not be my thing and I'm
okay with that."
"Who told you marriage is not your thing Mma Kgotla?"
She blushed.
"I know it. Some things you know."
He shook his head.
"Come here."
"You're going to distract me."
"Ta kwano Lolo."(Come here)

She got up as he put his iPad away and pulled her into
his lap.
"You're my marriage partner okay? You'll be a beautiful
bride ka patlo magadi autwe mogatsaka?"
She blushed more.
"Shawn, you're distracting me."
"I'm just telling you the truth. You were saying?"
"Ehe, okay fine. She is a married woman and obviously
she won't understand and I get that. What really hurt me
ke ha ne a re I'll want their men. Keore gatwe ke tlo
batla banna ba my cousins at home."(Apparently I'll
want my cousins men.)
"And you dating me gave her that impression?"
"O married man. O lebega o tla ka dipuo wena."(you're a
married man..you come with a lot if issues)
"Mxm!"

She laughed.
"That really hurt me."
"She is probably projecting. I'd say ignore her but you've
been so close with her since childhood and kana basadi
le tshele, tla ga gotwe kana monna ne a leka gore
kgaoganya bosika."(and women are such gossipers.
Soon youl be saying a man tried to come between your
relationship)
"Kana Shawn ha o kgatlhe."(you're not funny)
"Sorry. But tell her how you feel, just like you decide
when you want to call me a blind cheater or tell me it's
over while you're in oxygen masks."
"Kana Shawn tla ga ke go koba mo game. O kopile
boroko kana."(Shawn, I'll chase you out of my place.
You asked for accommodation)
He laughed.
"Sorry ee. O bogale yang."(okay, sorry. You're so
defensive)
She placed her head on his shoulder.
"The fact that she thinks I don't know boundaries and
would go for her man or any of my rlatives' men says a
lot."
Shawn kept quiet knowing that from those two instances
he was with her cousin alone, the said cousin didn't
know boundaries.
"I'd never date her man. Or even her exes. That would
be vile and ny relationship with her was valuable than a
man."
"Was?"
"I don't know where it stands now."
"Just take your time and make a decision that makes
you happy. Is it off your chest now?"
"Yes. It's been bothering me since we left the hospital.
Kana we are like sisters and-"
She held back tears. He rubbed her back.
"And she's my aunt's daughter. My aunt was also a
mother to me and besides my other aunts and uncles,
Tebogo looks like my aunt so much and I wouldn't want
to lose that connection to my aunt."
Alone rubbed her eyes.
"We're erecting her tombstone next weekend and-"

He rubbed her back as she cried in his arms.

"I miss Meme so so much and my cousin doesn't know
how much I love her too an-"
He cradled her in his arms.
"Let it all out. I'll just be here angel."
"Le mama doesn't know I love her…she just did things
that hurt me but I love her…"
"I know."
"why do they hurt me? Why did you disappear and not
call or show face? For ten whole years?"
He closed his eyes.
"That hurt me too but that doesn't mean I love you any
less."
"I'm so sorry angel."
"It's okay. You're back now."

***
That same afternoon, Kagiso went over to Shawn's
apartment to talk to him but he had knocked and
knocked with no answer. He finally called Shawn.
"Hello."
"Shawn, I'm at your place. Open the door."
"I moved out."
"So fast?"
"Let's meet by Airport Junction mall."
"Okay."

Kagiso cut the call and breathed out. A lot was

happening all at once.

***

Shawn picked his car keys.

"Let me go meet Kagiso okay? What do you want from
the mall?"
"Nothing."
Alone paused.
"Shawn, does your brother hate me?"
"No, why do you ask?"
"Because of what happened over a decade ago. Kana
my mother had threatened to report you for rape in his
presence and kana that's-"
"Don't worry about it."
"Did he overhear the conversation when I was forced to
call you?"
"Unfortunately he did. But it's in the past Lolo."
He rubbed her chin kissing her head.
"Don't stress about it. You explained it all to me and we
cleared it all up akere Mma Kgotla?"
"Ee rra."
"Good. I'll be back."
She nodded and watched him walk to the door. She sat
on the couch.

***

Tebogo checked the time. She had come with a peace

offering. Alone's favourite comfort food from Nandos'
and her favourite designer drink.

She parked her car in front of the yard and pressed the
intercom. The gate opened. She parked her car inside
and breathed out for a few seconds before she got out.
She walked to the door and it opened before she
knocked.
"Babe I th-"
Alone stopped speaking and and blankly looked at
Tebogo.
"Hi Lolo."

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~50~

Alone closed her eyes for a few seconds before she

tried ro force a smile but the forced smile failed.
"Come in."

She opened the door wider and Tebogo came in witb the
takeaway and drink. She placed them on the table,
noticing the iPad on the table. That wasn't Alone's.
"Can I sit?"
Lolo nodded as she sat down too.
"I came to apologise."
"Okay."
"Just okay?"
"I was hurt that you thought I'd come after every married
man I set my eyes on. That I'd cross boundaries and go
after my relatives' men. That hurt me but okay. I accept
your apology."
Tebogo breathed out. That was too easy and too fast.
She had watched Alone tell her mother she is okay and
watched her distance herself.
"Lolo, I am really sorry. I wasn't even thinking and I know
you would never do that."
"Mhmm..
"Lolo?"
"I am listening. I forgive you."
"I brought a peace offering. Your favourite comfort
meal."
"Thank you."
"A hug?"

Alone stood up and hugged her.

"Lolo, you're like my little sister. I always want the best
for you, I'm so sorry. I'd never intentionally hurt you."
"Okay."

***
Shawn sat with his brother as he ordered a takeaway
meal for Lolo and himself.
"Shawn, everything happened on Friday and you
already moved out?"
"There is nothing tying me there. I just want to move on."
"So fast?"
"Kagiso I've been knowing about this since November."
Kagiso's forehead scrunched. And he didn't say
anything?
"The dinner? It was Owame and not Lorato."
"Yoh!"
"Yes. Lorato signed the divorce papers so…"
"The speed at which this is happening is scary. It seems
like you have a backup plan."
"Sometimes letting go is the only way."
"Okay. You're divorcing and you already don't have your
ring."
"I'm a free man."
"You're an adult. You do what makes you happy. Have
you talked to her parents?"
Shawn chuckled.
"They did call to tell me I have to fix things with Lorato
and because I'm an orphan and they welcomed me with
open arms."
"Ba tla nyela kana."
Shawn chuckled, a bit sad.
"You used to believe them over me you know. Take their
side and all." Sometimes when it came to issues with
Lorato, Kagiso rarely took his side. He had needed
someone in his corner.
"I'm sorry. I'll do better okay?"
"Thanks."
"I mean it. And I hope this time you find a woman who
loves you and won't scam you."
"Hopefully."

Shawn's order came and he paid for it before he stood

up.
"Let me go. I'll update you on the court dates and say hi
to Fiona for me."
"Okay. Bye and I'm still proud of you and how far you've
come."
Shawn smiled before he turned his back and walked
away."

***

Alone listened to Tebogo talking. All she added to the

conversation was an occasional 'yes' or 'okay' and a
'wow' for some dazzle.
"Thank you."
"You are welcome."
"You're still going to be my maid of honour?"
"I promised."
"You didn't eat your food."
"I don't have an appetite for anything really."
"Try eating. You need to eat for the child to grow. You
can't starve yourself."
"It's all going to come back and I'm going to vomit…"
"If you say so…"

Outside, the gate opened and Shawn saw another

parked inside. He reversed and parked by the side. A
minute later, he was walking towards the house holding
the takeaways. He knocked once and opened the door.
He found Tebogo there and Alone smiled at him but she
quickly stood up walking away. He thinned his eyes at
Alone who walked away.
"Hi." She greeted him first. She still wasn't sure about
what he worked as but jt had to be big bucks for him to
take Alone to Paris and ring shop expensive rings. They
were living together now?
"Hello." He passed by her and went to place the food in
the kitchen.
In the bathroom, Alone rinsed her nouth and she walked
out. Shawn grabbed her by the waist when they crossed
paths.
"Lolo?"
"Rra?"
"Are you sure you're fine?"
"Ee rra. Let me go see my cousin out."
"Okay."

He let her go and Alone found Tebogo waiting.

"You live together now?"
"That way I won't come after any other married man."
"Lolo, I'm sorry I said that. Your case is different, you
were high school sweethearts."
"You didn't see that when you judged me. I'm tired and
need to sleep."
"Lolo, you didn't genuinely forgive me did you?"
"Tebogo, I'm exhausted. Can we do this another day. I'm
sire you are also exhausted too and you need to rest.
You can't be out and about as a pregnant woman."
"You're right and I'm so sorry okay?"
They hugged as Alone led Tebogo to her car.
"Okay. Have a safe journey. Send a text when you get
home."
"I will."
Tebogo got in her car and she watched Alone walk back
to the house. Alone opened the bag and took out the
fries. Sbe had a few bites as her mouth filled up with a
lot of saliva. She was starting to hate this pregnancy.
She sniffed the air. She wondered what Shawn brought.
It had made her her so nauseous.

She headed to the bedroom and she started stripping.

"And then?"
"I need to take a bath and sleep."
"Did you eat?"
"I'm fine."
"Lolo you last ate breakfast and breakfast was a very
light meal. I brought food."
"I don't think I'll like it."
"It's your favourite." she shook her head.
"O batla ke haga phaleche yaanong Lolo?"(you want me
to make pap?)
"No but you can try.."
"Lolo…"
"Let me go bath."

She walked naked to the bathroom and Shawn sighed.

***

An hour later, Lolo was in between Shawn's legs, in her

bonnet and sleep overtaking. She had failed ro eat what
he brought. It just made her close to nausea and she
ended up eating the meal Tebogo brought. Okay, a
quarter of it anyway.

She yawned.
"Are you checking on me tomorrow?"
"I have a busy day, I'll have food sent to you. Make sure
you eat, we'll see a doctor around three okay?"
"A doctor?"
"Yes. Goodnight okay?"
"Night." She closed her eyes.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~51~

The following morning

Alone was asleep as Shawn got ready for work. Shawn

walked over to the bed to kiss her cheek.
"I'll see you a bit later okay?"

He straightened up and sprayed his cologne before he

walked out. Almost ten minutes after he had left, Alone
got out bed and rushed to the bathroom to throw up.
She closed her eyes. She had an important meeting
around ten, she hopes she doesn't get the urge to throw
up or anything. She rinsed her mouth before she
removed her gown and got inside the shower.

***

At FNBB

Alone who was one hour late to work, sat in the car and
looked at the little baby socks she just bought and the
romper. She put it in the gift bag along with a note she
wrote. She'll drop it off after her meeting. She got out of
her car and locked it.

Alone walked through the doors and she could notice

that everyone waa looking at her strangely. She greeted
them like usual and then took the lift to her office. The lift
was awkward with the people in there and she quickly
walked to her office the minute it stopped. She breathed
out.
They probably knew and they could see right through
her. That Shawn was married and that she was the side
chick. There was a door knock the moment she sat
down.
"Come in."
One of her colleagues walked in.
"Hi."
"Hello."
"Uhm there was a trending post on social media and the
man who picks you here at work is implicated. He is
married."
Alome breathed out.
"Can I ask a question?"
"Are we friends?"
"N-no bu-"
"We have never been close to share gossip not even
once. Please close the door on your way out."

The door closed and Alone closed her eyes. Everyone

knew.

Alome's phone rang in her bag and she quickly took it

out to answer. It was her mother.
"Mama hello."
"Hello, akere you are heading this side ka weekend?"
"Ee mma."
"Will you be able to come ka Thursday?"
"Thursday?"
"I managed to book with a family therapist and
apparently she is good. Will you be able to come? We'll
use my car when heading to your aunt's village."
"Okay. I'll take a flight there."
"Thank you Alone. You won"t regret this."
She smiled.
"Ee mma. I have to go."

Just as she cut that call, her cousin called. She took
deep breathes before answering.
"Tebogo."
"Hello. How are you feeling this morning?c
"I'm good. How are you?"
"Great. I was just checking up on you."
"Alright. I have to go, my meeting starts in five minutes."
"Okay. Bye."
"Bye."

Alone cut the call.

***
Around lunchtime, for the first time ever Alone walked
through the doors of C Corporations. She looked
around. The building was beautiful and she loved the
interior as well.

She got to thw reception and she smiled holding her gift
bag.
"Hi, is Mr Kgotla here?"
"He is still stuck in a meeting. Any messages?"

She asked as she called Shawn's office. The phone

rang unanswered for a few seconds before it was
answered.
"Hello."
"Mr Kgotla, is your meeting over?"
"Yes. I have a twenty minute break before the next one.
What is it?"

The receptionist placed the phone on ber chest.

"Do you want to see him?"
Alone nodded.
"Tell him Alone is here."
She placed the receiver back up.
"A Ms Alone wants to see you."
"Alone? Send her up.."
"Okay." she cut the call and placed the phone down.
"Do you know his office?"
"Nyaa mma."
The receptionist told her which floor Alone must be in
and the office.
"You got it?"
"I think I did. If I get stuck, I'll come back down. Thank
you."

She walked over to the elevator. She has never seen

this Alone girl before and she was pretty. But Shawn
where did he get a girl with nicely proportioned hips and
a bum? Or maybe she was thinking too much and they
weren't seeing each other. The elevator closed with
alone inside and she pressed it to the third floor. She
held the little gift bag in one hand and her handbag in
another.

It stopped and she got out. She looked around. She

should try to find it. Apparently it has his name on it.

She finally found it and knocked on the door.

"Come in."
She opened the door and she smiled when she saw
him.
"Hi angel. What a pleasant surprise. Come here."
She walked to him and he pulled himself out of the desk
to make way for her to sit on his lap. She placed the gift
bag on the table.
"You brought me a gift?"
"Mhhmm. Did yoy eat?"
"Yes. Did you eat the food I had delivered?"
"I only managed to eat the toast."
"You barely ate." He rubbed her thighs as she kept her
hands wrapped around his neck.
"And what did I do to deserve a gift? Yesterday you wre
threatening to chase me out."
"It's something you wanted." She pecked his lips, once,
twice before she kissed him again. He started
unbuttoning her shirt, breathing against her neck.

The office door opened abruptly and he stopped. Her

cute bra peeking out.
"I managed to get the f-oh."
Mia stopped midway.
"My sincerest apologies. I should have knocked." She
quickly turned to the door and half ran there. The door
closed and Alone looked at the door. That was thee Mia
Carmichael?
"Don't mind her." He quickly dismissed. He went back to
kissing her and she giggled in between the kiss.
"Open the gift first."

She watched him pick it up and open the gift bag. The
little tiny romper was so small in his large hand. Shawn
blinked and he held it up. His eyes filled with tears and
he took out the little socks in there as well. He glanced
over at Alone who was smiling at him. He found the note
and started reading.

"Then two will be three soon when our new family

member arrives.."he read out loud, his heart pounding.
He was going to be a father?
"Congratulations daddy!" He laughed a bit covering his
mouth.
"When?"
"I suspected last week when I couldn't keep food down
but on Friday when I was hospitalised the doctor blurted
it out like I had already known."
He kissed her.
"Thank you. Thank you so so much for this autwe
mogatsaka?"
She blushed and he rubbed her chin to look into her
eyes.
"I love you and thank you." This felt like a fever dream.
The love of his life pregnant? With their baby?
He french kissed her and she placed her hands on his
chest. He pushed her up against his erection and she
moaned in his mouth.
"You're my whole world and I'll spend forever giving you
the world and more Mma Kgotla."
"Mmmhmm…"
"An angel sent from above for sure." One that makes his
world light up.

He broke the kiss and looked at the romoer and socks

on the table. Now that it happened, it felt surreal. His
hand went to her stomach and she watched him.
"When's your doctor's appointment?"
"I haven't booked one yet. I was thinking Thursday
morning?"
"We'll go together. Thank you angel."
"No, thank you. Thank you.."
.
.
.
A FEW DAYS LATER

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~52~
Lorato rubbed her tummy that was starting to show. The
first part of the divorce was done and she didn't want to
cross Shawn's people any further and she showed up at
court on Tuesday. She closed her eyes, tears rolling
down.

She walked out of that marriage still empty as she had

been save for the few things that thief Owame stole. She
shouldn't have involved her at all. She tried calling
Owame throughout the week but she hadn't been
answering her calls.

She calculated the money she'd make from the things

she had including the rings and it was approximately
twenty five thousand. She'll take it, she would've been a
millionaire by now if it wasn't for whoever caught up to
her plan.

She went to Facebook and the issue had died down.

People were now talking about a girl whose nudes were
leaked online. Facebook people forget easily and there
is always breaking news on that side so she wasn't that
bothered about them recognising her in public even
though she had deactivated her Facebook account.

She'll advertise the items somewhere around this week

to sell them.
Lorato still wondered about the red lipstick and
condoms. Had Shawn really cheated? And was he with
that woman currently or it was all fake? He had known
the truth about what she was doing for a while now and
had waited for the right moment to strike. She didn't put
it oast him to have fabricated that to get her to come
back. But what if he had been cheating? And he felt
loyal to that other woman and not her?

She guessed she'll never know.

***

By some car wash in G-West, Kennedy laughed as he

spoke to his friend while waiting for their cars ro be
washed.
"You remember that girl I told you about?"
"The one wa FNB? Ke shoto gore(she is so beautiful)
"Yes. Wa mmona mothaka wa go irela mosadi waagwe
surprise party?"(you remember that guy to throw his wife
a surprise party?)
"Ehe, he looks monied."
Kennedy ignored the monied part.
"That girl is his side chick."
"Hee banna!"
"And she had the audacity to tell me my cologne is
cheap a jewa jewa jaaka moretwa wa tsela ke bo
married man.(when she is being used by married men)
His friend laughed.
"Serious?"
"Ee. Imagine being proud of being a side chick? Mxm!"
"Are you bitter she didn't choose you?"
"Bitter? Over someone who has probably slept with all
the married men in Gaborone? Never!"

His friend juts looked at him and Kennedy waved him

off.
"That's not a real wife mona, no wonder she is a side
chick. We want real women, not skay queens for wives."
"Ehe rra."
"Ee. Gape o ipona gore Alone wa teng."(she regards
herself highly)
"I would if I had been to America and working for a
bank."
"I'm starting to believe she slept her way up. O beile
bontle le marago hela, no smart woman would say no to
a single man and want a married man."
"So you are bitter. Heal, she wasn't even your type to
begin with. She'd be doing you a favour if she dated
you."
Kennedy silently fumed at his friend's remarks while his
friend laughed.

***

Alone checked the time. It was almost eleven. She was

waiting for Shawn and after that she'd have to go home
and get her bags to catch her flight. She yawned. She
was already exhausted.

Her office door and she smiled sweetly at him.

"Hey.." she got up and stretched her body as he walked
over to her desk. He kissed her softly and she held onto
him.
"Hi. Ready?"
She nodded. He got her laptop bag and also her
handbag for her. She walked behind him and locked the
office door before she caught up to his wide strides as
he walked towards the lift.
"I'm so excited."
"And I can't wait." He also had questions for the doctor.
It was concerning that she barely ate and if she did eat a
proper meal, she vomits it out in minutes.
"How are you feeling?"
"Tired. I am so tired and I want to sleep."
"Your flight is around three, after the appointment you're
sleeping and I'll wake you up."

The lift doors opened and they both walked out of the
building.
"Okay."

They both got to his car and she was already getting
used to be driven to and from work.
He put her things at the back and got a bowl of fresh
fruit to hand it to her.
"Try eating that."
She got it as he opened the door for her. She got inside
and placed the bowl down to buckle up before she
picked it up again.

She started eating as he settled in his seat. She only

had a few bitefuls before she took a break and placed
the back of her hand on her lips. She ate in intervals.
"Better?"
She nodded.
"Much better."
He squeezed her thigh and she smiled up at him.
"I know we might be far from knowing the gender but do
you think it's a girl or boy?"
"What if it's both?"
"I feel like that's unlikely, we don't have the twin genes at
home."
"It can happen. I don't know about my family but I'm
hoping it happens."
"We'll see."
He chuckled before he started the car and reversed out
of the parking spot.

***

At the hospital, Shawn held Alone's hand as the

pregnancy was registered and she waa given the card.
He held it for her.
"Doctor, what can she do to keep food down? she barely
eats."
The doctor noted something down.
"Ms Puso, how long has this been going on?"
"For almost two weeks now."
Alone placed her head on Shawn's shoulder. She was
so tired.
"Do you ever get dizzy and how many times do you
vomit in a day?"
"I'm always dizzy and I vomit more than five times a
day.."
"What about liquids?"
"I try my best to drink plenty of water."

The doctor noted it down.

"I am hoping that as you move along the pregnancy, it
comes to a pause but to help with not keeping foods
down, try to eat plain foods with plenty of carbs amd low
in fat. Try also eating the food cold, if it persists this
whole week you'll have to come back."
She nodded.
"Because if you can't keep food down, that means the
foetus is not getting enough nutrients and this is still the
early stages of pregnancy. We want to make sure
everything goes right right?
"Right." she agreed and she got up from the chair,
Shawn leading her to the bed. He just picked her up and
placed her there.

Alone started to unbutton her silk shirt as the doctor

excused herself.
Alone smiled up at him.
"I'm going to miss you this whole weekend."
"You're coming back kn Sunday."
She smiled cutely.
"Still. I love you okay?"
She pulled him down for a kiss and then leaned back.
The door opened and they both looked that way.
"Are you ready?"
Alone nodded. The doctor applied gel on her stomach
before she picked up the wand.
"Listen carefully and look at the screen. This will give us
an approximation of how far along you are from the date
of conception and you'll also be able to hear the
heartbeat."

Shawn sat down and held her hand looking at the

screen. The doctor moved the wand for a few seconds
before Alone squeezed his hand and he paused.
Hearing the heartbeat for the first time.
"That's the heartbeat." The doctor silently supplied and
Alone's eyes filled with tears as Shawn rubbed circles
with his thumb on her hand. He looked awed as he
blinked a couple of times and looked down. He glanced
over at Alone who wasn't hiding her tears and she
smiled at him. He mouthed a heartfelt, 'thank you, angel'
and she nodded.

"If we may look at the screen…"

They both did.
"If you look more to the right and look at that closely,
that's the foetus right there."
Shawn licked his lips emotionally as he nodded.
"Ms Puso, you seem to be five weeks along."
He kissed her hand. He had a baby on the way. They
were going to be parents. He didn't know hot to be
grateful to her for this wonderful gift.

There was silence in the room and all he heard was the
baby's heartbeat. He took out his phone to take a short
video so he can always watch it when he's alone.
He started recording, showing Alone's face as she wiped
her tears away and she smiled at him. He moved his
phone to the monitor screen. Nothing beat this.
Absolutely nothing. When he was done, the doctor
removed the wand from Alone's stomach and handed
her a tissue towel to wipe. Shawn djd the honours
though as the doctor left to go print.
He pressed his head against hers, their eyes caught up
in the most intense stare and their breaths mingling in
the little breathing space between their close lips.
"Thank you. So so much okay?"
She nodded and he brought his thumb to wipe her tears.
"You're precious, okay?" She nodded.
"A rarity. I love you more than you'll ever know." He
covered her mouth with his for a few seconds before
breaking it. He pecked her lips and looked at those
adoring eyes of hers. If someone had told him ten years
ago that he'd be here with rhe love of his life, expecting
their first born he honestly would have believed them. It
was this little life had had always had in the back of his
mind at senior school but never really voiced it out but jr
was happening.

The door opened and he moved back a bit and helped

her with her shirt.
When she was done, she got off the bed and they sat
down by the doctor's desk.
"I made three copies of the scan. I also brought your
pre-natal vitamins. Try to eat before taking them.
Please."
"Of course."

The doctor wrote something and put it in her pregnancy

card. When she was done, Shawn got the card and they
walked out of the doctor's office.

She held his arm and leaned towards him as they

walked out of the hospital building.

This was the kind of peace she had always wanted. Her
man, work and family here and there. Nothing too hectic
or major. It was that simple for her.
"Tla reye o ye go ja."(let's go eat)
She just walked by his side to the car. She'll try her best.
She'll really try.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~53~

Mma Alone hummed as she dusted Lolo's old bedroom.

She has never went through Lolo's things but she was
curious to see whay was in the drawers. She opened
one of the drawers and she opened the old diary. She
blew away the dust from it and paged through it. She
stopped on the pictures of Lolo and was that Shawn?
She saw another picture of them, ten years ago pasted.
She read what Lolo wrote underneath it and she closed
the diary and put it away. The finished dusting before
she went to take the broom and mop. The curtains for
Lolo's room along with the blankets were outside drying
up.

She hummed some more. Her relationship with her

daughter was going to get bettet. She could feel it.

***

Alone sat on his lap as she brushed away her hair from
her face. She thought of telling him about rhe cancer but
that would be unnecessary. She didn't have cancer right
at this moment and it would dampen his spirits about
their baby.
"Did you pack enough warm clothes? It gets chilly an-"
"I'll only be gone for he weekend and it's not like I'm
moving abroad."
He sighed. He knew that.
"I know. I'll miss you."
She lifted her head to kiss him.
"Same here."
"And I'll call to remind you to eat." she nodded. He didn't
know when he'll break the news to his family. That was
going tk be an issue for another day but maybe after the
last decree in six weeks and he is a free man, he can
talk to his brother and marry her too in the process.
That's if Lolo will want to marry him and he didn't want to
pressure her.

"Okay. Let me go get my bags." She got off him and he

smacked her behind and she laughed heading to the
bedroom.

His phone rang and flashed with an unknown number on

the screen. He frowned and just took the call.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Shawn?"
"It is he."
There was a soft laugh and he stared at the ceiling.
"What is it?"
"Can we talk? I promise I won't waste much of your time,
I just want to tell you my side of the story."
He saw Alone come towards him with her single
suitcase Nd handbag on top of it.

He cut the call without saying anything and he took the

bags from his girlfriend. She smiled happily and he
couldn't help but kiss her lips every now and then.

***

At the airport, Alone hugged him.

"It's just a weekend and Sunday I'll be back. Be good
okay?"
"Am I ever bad?" she shrugged and stood on her tippy
toes ro kiss him before she stepped back.

She walked towards the aircraft and his phone vibrated

in his pocket.
He slid it out and he saw the same number but he
answered it.
"Please! I won't take too much of your time. I'm not
asking for money or anything of that sort, please."

He turned his back as he spoke to her and Alone turned

ti wave him goodbye and his back was turned. Her little
silly smile dissolved and she got in.

***

Two hours lqter, Alone was in Francistown and she had

sent Shawn a message letting him know she was safe.
She called for a cab to come pick her from the airport.
She didn't want to botber her mother. Her phone rang
and she answered with a smile.
"Hey.."
"Just saw your message, did you eat?"
"I'm waiting for a cab home and I'll try to see what I can
eat at home."
"Okay, you never spoke about how you feel about rhe
tombstone unveiling."
She looked at her legs then up.
"I'm always goung to grieve her but I have to live too.
Saturday is going to be a hard day but I'll have to accept
it."
"I should have come with you."
"You're still partly marrried and I don't think I can handle
the judgement that would come my way, in Gaborone it's
better those people aren't my family but here they are
and their opinions mean something to me."
"I understand, I'll call before you sleep."
"Okay."
"Lolo?"
"Rra?"
"I love you autwe?"
"Ee rra. Ke a go rata le nna."(I love you too)

He chuckled as she got up with her bags.

"You sound like a teenager when you say that, eat when
you get home."
"I got it. I won't forget food. It just keeps coming back.
It's not my fault. It's yours actually."
"You've started, let me go love."
"Ng ng kana-Shawn? Shawn?"

He hung up on her? Shawn Kgotla hung up on her? She

laughed drily as her phone rang, she answered the cab
service.

***
At Mma Alone's house, she had been waiting for Alone
to call so she can go pick her up but maybe she was still
on her way. The intercom rang and she went to answer
it.
"Hello."
"Hi mama, ke nna."(it's me)

She was here? Already. She pressed the button as the

gate opened and she opened the door as Slone
dragged her suitcase along the pavement. She looked a
bit pale and tired.
"Let me help you."
"It's okay."
"You don't look okay. Are you coming down with a
fever?"
She shook her head and yawned.
"I made food. I'll warm it up for you so long."
She agreed and headed to her old room. It looked
freshly cleaned and the blankets so clean. She removed
her shoes and walked to the bathroom that was opposite
her room to turn on the water.

Mma Alone hummed as she fixed her duaghter a plate

of food.
Meanwhile in the bedroom, Alone had stripped of her
clothes and was in a towel heading to the bathroom.

***

In Gaborone, around the same time Shawn slid his

phone i his pocket as he chose a quiet spot in the fast
food chair place. He checked his phone, checking the
time . Je was only going to be here for less than ten
minutes. It was nothing that was going to take long.

Outside, she brushed over her hair with her hand. She
hoped she looked good. She also sprayed cplogne to
smell good. She breathed in and out, hoping for the
best.

She walked inside and it was easy to spot him, he

always that air of superiority surrounding him. In her skin
tight jeans ans sparkly lips she walked to rhe table and
sat down.
"Thank you for agreeing to meet me."
"Make it fast."

***
Lolo had a few spoonfuls of the food and she had tried
to keep the nausea down. She drank water after every
bite and it felt stronger. She opened her mouth but it was
already coming. She covered it with her hand and ran to
the bathroom, her mother watching. Her forehead
creased with lines of worry as she stood up from the
table and walked to the bathroom. She could hear Lolo
retching her guts out.

Mma Alone stood by the bathroom door while Alone was

hunched up over the toilet seat. Lolo finally stopped
vomiting and her mother looked at her.
"Are you sure you're fine?"
Alone nodded.
"Okay."

***

At the fast food place, Shawn did hear reason and a part
of him understands why she did that. Owame who was
sitting in front of him, wondered if he noticed how she
looked. How she had her hair done in a simple high puff
that accentuated her face.
"Now that you apologised, I have to go. Don't call me
ever again."
"We have no bad blood between us and-"
"Owame!" She smiled and nodded. She liked the way he
said her name. It was hot.
"Okay."

A second later, Lorato walked inside the place needing

food before she goes back home. Her hawk like eyes
thinnned seeing her twin and Shawn. That bitch!

She quickly rushed over there just as Shawn was about

to leave.
"You went for her? My twin?"
Lorato half screamed and Shawn looked at the both of
them before he walked away. He didn't have time for
this.

Lorato chuckled lookibg at her twin.

"Keore o lebelete monyana ke wena. (You're such a
whore)Going after my husband."
Owame shook her head. She was done being bullied by
her twin. She stood up but Lorato dragged her by the
puff before slapping her.
"You steal from me and you want to steal my husband?"

Another loud slap landed on Owame's face and she

tried to cover her face but Lorato was fast.
"You classless woman!" Lorato pushed Owame back on
the table and got on top of her to punch her. Owame
pushed Lorato back and tried to go but Lorato tripped
her and started beating her. Owame's eyes fillwed with
tears.

People watched and took videos instead of helping.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~54~

After minutes of Lorato beating Owame, she was taken

off her twin amd Owame rubbed her eyes.
"Stay away from him you hoe."
Owame's mouth trembled but she picked her head up
and looked at Lorato.
"Or what? It's not like he will want you back with your
bastard child." Lorato flaied in the air wanting to go back
and beat Owame but they held her back too strongly.
"Nteseng ke ye go betsa lebelete le."(let me go so I can
go beat this hoe)
"Stop!" The manager walked in.
"Escort these ladies out of my establishment."
Owame and Lorato were separately escorted out.
Owame haf marks and bruises on her face from Lorato's
assualt. She is going to the police even. There were
witnesses and her sister has been getting her way for
way too long. Owame looked at Lorato one last time.
She walked the other way and went to catch a taxi.

Lorato walked to the parking lot and sighed. She looked

at her bruising knuckles and she sighed. She didn't even
get her meal all because of Lorato who ruined her mood.
She was such a conniving bitch. To the extent of wanting
Shawn? She eas never going to get him regardless.
That man refused to remove his ex's initials on his finger
when they had met and she was yet to meet the ex that
a man would go to such extents and have her initials
tattooed on his ring finger.

She went to Owame's number and she called. She

answered the call.
"I'm going to report you."
"And you'll never get Shawn you street rat! He loves his
ex and you'll be competing with the ghost of his ex if he
even gives you the time of day. Mxm!"
Lorato cut the call and got inside the car.

She placed the phone down and started the car with a
sigh.
***

That evening Shawn was on the phone with Alone and

he decided he was going to tell her. She looked all
snuggled up in bed while he had his shirt sleeves rolled
up and was busy with work.

"Mma kgotla hey…"

"Hey..What are you doing?"
"I'm working akere ke lonely ne mma."
"It's just for a weekend. A single weekend.."
"I know. Did you eat?"
She sighed.
"Lolo?"
"Rra?"
"A o jele?"(did you eat?)

She sat upright still holding the phone to her face.

"I tried. I swear to God, mama had cooked my favourite
meal and it was going okay for the first few minutes then
the food all came back and I couldn't eat after that."
Shawn rubbed the top of his nose.
"So you haven't eaten ever since?"
She shook her head. He looked so worried and she also
wanted to eat. It wasn't fun always throwing up on an
empty stomach and throwing up what you just ate.
"We have a month and a half till the first trimester is
over…"
She watched him think and he removed his glasses.
This man was so sexy.
"I know it's cold, please go eat. The doctor said plain
food. As disgusting as plain food sounds like, give it a
try."
"What if i-"
"Babe, get out of bed and try phaleche le maši."(pap and
milk), if that doesn't work..boil chicken and rice..Lolo you
have to eat."
She looked around her childhood room then back at the
screen.
"I'll keep you company while you cook."
"If it doesn't work-"
"We'll go back to the doctor but you'll probably be fed
using IV drips."
"I don't like needles like that."
"Ee go make something."

She placed the phone down and got out of bed. The chill
air hit her. She sighed and slid on her slides, taking her
phone with her.
She looked at the screen.
"So today, I saw Owame."
"Oh?"
"She apologised for what she and her sister did."
"Okay. Are you happy with the apology?"
"Not really but I partly understood."
"That they conspired to scam you?"
"Not that, that she was the sister not adopted and did
everything to have a relationship with her twin when they
got separated."
"Shems. I hope she heals. I can't imagine being a twin
and you're separated."
"Hopefully but that's a closed chapter on my part. I dealt
with the mess and I can now focus my time and energy
into you and work."
She smiled.
"I have a trip coming up. A work trip to Tanzania by the
way."
"Ee mma."
"Want to come along? It's just three days.."
"Give me the dates and o ntse o re o boa ka Sunday
yaana, just know gore Monday I'm expecting a proper
report on the company investments."
"Mixing business with pleasure now Mr Kgotla?"
He laughed.
She placed the phone down against the coffee and
crouched to look at the screen.
"I should put it up..it only shows my lower body."
"And I am fine with that view. Not even complaining."
"Pervert."
He smiled and she turned her back as she opened the
fridge. She is trying the chicken and rice.
"Alone?" Her mother called out.
"Ma? Ke mo kirchen'ng mama ka apaya."(I'm in the
kitchen mom, I'm cooking)
"You don't have to. Let me make something for you."
"Ng ng. It's okay mama. You can sleep. I'll be fine."
She heard silence then footsteps a minute later as her
mom stood by the kitchen door tying her gown.
"Are you sure?"
"Sure sure. I'll be fine. Re tsamaya nako mang
kamoso?"(we're leaving what time?)
"The therapist said nine and we'll probably leave for the
village around two. Is it okay?"
"It's fine. Goodnight mama."
"Goodnight."

Her mother walked back and Alone checked the phone

to see if he was still on the call with her.
"I'm still here."
"Okay. Good."
She turned her back as she looked for the pots and he
watched her behind on the screen.

***

Lorato's boyfriend sighed as he watched the trending

video on Facebook. He closed his eyes as he got out of
the car. Does Lorato not even care about her own
dignity since his is already protected? How is his family
supposed to accept her if she acts this way on social
media?

Inside the house, Lorato's pbone rang.

"Hello."
"Hello. Is this Lorato Mosweu?"
"Yes."
"You are wanted at the police station regarding your
assault on Ms Owame Mmolai."
Lorato opened her mouth.
"I didn't assualt her."
"The live videos and bruises on her say otherwise.
Please show up or other means will have be used.
Central police station please."
The call cut and her boyfriend walked in.
"Lorato what was that?"
"Hello."
"Hello? You are trending on Facebook. Again."
She swallowed.
"I lost my temper an-"
"For a man you're divorcing? A man who scared you to
death and you fight publicly to call him your husband?
He even embarrassed you in front of family. And you do
the things you do?"
He walked past her and she closed her eyes.
"I have to….to go to the police station."
"Go ee. Nna I'm tired of you."

She swallowed as tears pricked in her eyes. She picked

the car keys, walking out.

***

At Mma Alone's house, Lolo sat in front of the phone

screen. She looked at the plain rice and the chicken that
had been airfriend only with salt and no spices.
"You don't like it?" Came Shawn's voice from the screen.
"Let me try it."
She had a few spoonfuls and waited. She then got up to
get the tomato sauce and mayo hoping all goes well.

She bit into the chicken and chewed while adding

sauces and all.
"Ma?"
"It's okay. It's so plain gore but I don't feel it coming right
back up."
He smiled.
"Now finish up your plate and go to sleep."
"You're commanding me now Shawn…"
"Sorry."

She mixed the food and had more. This was just to feel
full and not starve this baby of theirs.
She finished the plate and smiled. Her first full meal in
two weeks? Wow.
"Okay, I feel full. I didn't particularly enjoy the meal but I
ate it without vomiting."
"And that's progress. I think we'll add other things as
time goes on. Maybe there is something in food that you
react to.."
"Makes sense if put like that."
She washed her plate and everything before she picked
up the phone and switched off the lights on her way to
her room.

***

Lorato saw Owame with a police officer and she sighed.

"Ms Mosweu, you have been charged with the assault of
Ms Owame Mmolai."
Lorato looked at Owame. She steals from her and
reports her to the police.
"I'd also like to file a report for theft. She stole my bags
and money from my bank card. She stole close to six
thousand and I'd like it back."
Owame chuckled.
"She gave me the card so there is no case. Officer what
now?"
"Ms Mosweu will be detained till she gets bail."
Lorato blanched.
"I'm pregnant!"
"You should have thought of that before you beat her up.
Look at her face? Does that look normal? Follow me Ms
Mosweu."
He grabbed Lorato's hands as she rubbed her eyes with
the other hand.
𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~55~

The following morning, Alone and her mother were in the

therapist's office and it was beyond awkward. She didn't
know where to start and her mother was just silent.
"Hello, I'll be your therapist from this session moving
onwards and I'm sure you know my name. Can I know
yours?"
"Jacqueline Puso." Mma Alone answered and the
therapist looked at Alone.
"Alone Puso."
"So, you two are both here for therapy. Can you tell me
what led to that decision?"
Mma Alone looked at Alone who had a pale look to her
in her wool jersey and jeans.
"Something happened ten years ago and it put a strain
on our relationship."
The therapist noted it down.
"Okay. There was a strain…"
"Alone started pulling away and she was more closer to
her late aunt than to me."
Mma Alone's eyes welled up with tears.
"She didn't spend holidays with me if she was back from
abroad, she'd rather go to her aunt's place and spend
time with her there then come see me a day before she
leaves the country to say goodbye."
Alone just listened. No tears in sight for her.
"That hurt me. A lot but I blamed myself for that
happening too."
The therapist nodded then looked to Alone.
"Alone, how do you see the situation?"
"It is true. I avoided her, I'd rather detach than try to talk
after knowing that my words aren't taken seriously in
any way or form."

She breathed out.

"I always grew up with my mom being strict, it was fine. I
guess. I was a naughty child like all children, spilt things,
broke things in the house. I got beatings for those."
The therapist blinked. A beating for spilling things?
"Was it by accident?"
"On most occasions yes. I was used to it. Fetching a
stick for myself and all that. I didn't fail at school though.
Then my dad died. He has never beat me at all. If I
made a mistake, he'd talk to me. I love him so much."
Mma Alone rubbed her tears. That statement alone
made it seem as if Alone didn't love her.
"And what was that incident that sealed it all?"
Alone breathed out as she brought her hands together.

"Prior to that, my mother had read my diary which was

private for a reason and found love letters. Obviously as
a teenager, I denied and denied and I was lucky I didn't
get a beating. I was beaten for every little thing."

Mma Alone sniffed. The cool tone of Alone's voice got to

her. There was no emotion to it, it was like she was
narrating a story.

"Then she got married. Fine. I saw the man like a father
and then before I knew it, I was being sent off to my
aunt's place because I came onto him. A sixteen year
old coming onto a man I see as a father figure? A man
who was more than double my age and I come onto
him?"

Her voice was raised as she said that. Mma Alone

looked down.
"I soon accepted that I'll be staying with my aunt. Hm…I
loved that because I could see my boyfriend. And then it
came-"
"Alone, you just said boyfriend with no tense. I assume
you guys are still together?"
Alone froze. F*ck!
"N-no."
The therapist noticed the body language but allowed
Alone to continue.
"Weeks pass then report collection, a teacher told mom
she saw me kiss him and she didn't ask questions. I got
a horrible horrible beating that took weeks to heal."

Alone breathed out.

"But she never asked me. Of course I was going to lie
that I don't have a boyfriend but the fact that she was
always ready to believe everyone over me. Me? Her one
and only daughter? The only child from the man she
loves?"

Alone rubbed her eyes and looked at her mother.

"Then months go by, back to living with her and her
husband. I avoided interaction because I didn't want
problems. I didn't want to breath in any wrong way and
get a beating. I didn't even speak to her husband akerr I
was accused of wanting him."
"Lolo-"
"Jacqueline, let her speak."
Alone rubbed her eyes before she fanned her face.
"Uhm excuse me.."

She got up from the chair with her phone in hand and
walked out. Mma Alone watched her leave the office and
she had this sad look on her face.
"I love Lolo. So so much."
The therapist nodded. Just taking the step to come to
therapy with her daughter was enough proof.

Alone closed herself inside the bathroom and she

sniffed as she sat down on the closed toilet seat. She
fanned her face but the tears kept on coming and she
covered her mouth, crying over everything that once
went wrong in her life.

Ten minutes later, Alone walked inside the office with

swollen eyes and a smile. She sat down.
"If you want to take a break-"
"I'm fine. Let me continue so we get it out of the way."

Breathing out, she placed her hands on her lap.

"A lot happened that week after closing form five, I was
the one who genuinely asked my boyfriend to break my
virginity. He was waiting for us to go to uni but I also
don't know what was the rush if I think about it as an
adult. As an adult I understand my mother getting angry
at that. Even aunt Meme was disappointed but she
threatened to report him for rape. I love him, so so
much. He kno-knew that. I got one hell of a beating to
the point of being close to be hospitalised, I had been
forced to tell him I'd report him for rape for something
two minors consensually did."

Alone breathed out once again.

"I was miserable. He had decided to disappear after
that, did I tell you that she beat him as well? But
anyways it's in the past. My relationships never worked
and I lived with the guilt and it was quite funny how I
knew love at sixteen and lost it. Then months back, my
aunt passed on. I still miss her so much and the advice
she used to give me. How she listened and never
overreacted. But those are bygones."

Mma Alone looked at Alone. She had never poured her

heart out. She never knew what Alone was thinking or
her plans. She always closed the door on her attempts
to better their relationship.
"And what can you say Jacqueline?"
"I realised I hurt you, even your aunt tried ro make me
see reason but I didn't because in my mind, I was
protecting you."

Alone smiled sadly.

"By beating me like a dog? What if the scars never
faded? There were stubborn scars and I had to buy
creams to make them fade. Talking to me was just okay
but beating me like I'm not a human?"
"I'm sorry. I didn't want you to repeat the mistakes I
made. I fell pregnant at the exact age you decided to
have sex."
Lolo frowned.
"I fell pregnant at sixteen and my mother was so strict.
She beat me left right and centre for everything and I
rebelled and fell pregnant. I was scared. So scared and-
"
She sniffed. Those were the ghosts of the past, ones
she had buried but they still came back to haunt her.

Alone had rubbed her eyes, her interest caught on what

her mother was saying. So she had a sibling out there?
What?
"And you know what happened? She chased me out of
the yard, telling me that she won't feed me and my child.
The one who got me pregnant denied it. It was a guy in
his twenties I think. I thought I loved him too back then. I
had nowhere to go and it's rough being all alone and
your mother locking gates and making your siblings
ignore you."

Alone swallowed. Sympathetical at her mother's

teenage years. Aren't mothers supposed to love their
children regardless? She wanted to be a better mother
to her child. She swore to herself that she'lll be.

Mma Alone closed her eyes. She could remember

beging her mother to take her back in and there being
only one option for that to happen.
"I went back home and begged her, to go back home, I
had to get an abortion."
Alone's eyes widened.
"There was one lady in our streets who specialised in
that." Alone's heart slowed down as her mother blinked
away tears.
"I did get the abortion…"
Jacqueline's lips trembled.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~56~

At the therapist's office, Alone watched her mother break

down.
"I got the abortion and it was painful and it hurt. That
was how my mother, your grandmother was going to
accept me back home."
She sniffed and wiped away her tears.
"Uhm…years passed. I went to school and I met your
father. I loved him and still do, he healed a part of me
that had been broken. We got married and wanted to
start a family immediately. We failed. Numerous times to
get pregnant. It turns out the abortion affected me and
when we did get pregnant it was with twins."

Alone's eyes widened. What?

"But, the other one died during childbirth and we were
left with you."
Alone blinked.
"It had been a difficult pregnancy but you were our
miracle and I'm sorry I hurt you while I thought I was
trying to protect you."
Alone nodded.
The therapist noted everything down.
"Well, this was an insightful first session. The next one
we'll be breaking down what happened today and how
those actions from your pasts made you guys feel and
how they affected your pasts and present."
They both nodded.
"Are you good?"
"Yeah." Alone whispered and she got up first, she
walked out and left the therapist with her mother.
"It will take time but with therapy, it will all be well."
"Thank you."
Mma Alone rubbed her eyes one last time before she
stood up and got her things to leave.

She found Alone by the office door and she tried to

smile.
"I'm sorry."
"It's in the past mama. Can we go?"
"Of course. Do you want to grab something to eat? You
didn't eat breakfast in the morning."
"I'm okay."

Her mother nodded as they both walked out of the

institution, heading to the car parking lot.

***

At the holding cell, a police officer walked over to the cell

and unlocked it. Lorato had cried herself to sleep, the
other women she was sharing with were too loud and
everything was dirty. She was pregnant and the food
wasn't anything to write home about.
"Ms Mosweu?"

Her ears perked as she looked up and stopped hugging

herself.
"Come."
She quickly got up, almost tripping on her way to where
the officer was. She got out and it was locked again.
"Follow me."

She did. Did he come and bail her out? She closed her
eyes,feeling so dirty and all sorts.
The officer handed her a phone.
"You are only allowed two phone calls."
She nodded. Grateful for that. She knew his nunber by
heart and she heard his phone ring.
"Hello?"
"Hi babe. It's me. I'm under police custody, Owame
reported me an-"
"She did good."
"I'm pregnant."
"And that didn't come to mind when you beat your twin
boue black? I'm honestly tired of your antics Lorato. I
won't bail you out till Monday. Maybe you'll self reflect
and make better choices in future."
"I-" he cut the call on her and tears stung her eyes as
she bit her lower lip to stop herself from releasing a loud
sob in front of all these people.
She released her lip which was starting to bruise as she
called her mother. The phone rang for a minute before it
was answered.
"Hello?"
"Hello mom, it's Lorato."
Her mother sighed deeply and Lorato burst into tears as
she told her what happened.
"You are very stupid! Too stupid for my liking!"
She rubbed tears stained cheeks as her mother berated
her before she cursed.
"I'll come bail you out."

The call cut and Lorato handed the phone back.

"You see what fighting for a man does? He is not here
and you have a criminal record. Why didn't you let go
my sister?"

Lorato sniffed as she was led back to the holding cell.

***

That afternoon, Lolo and her mom arrived at the village.

Alone got out of the car first with her bags as she
headed into her late aunt's house. A feeling of
melancholy befell her and she said a short prayer. She
wanted to be able to survive tomorrow and not break
down like she did at the funeral.

She smiled as she walked past her relatives who

hugged her.
"Hey Lolo. You look so good."

She chuckled.
"Must be Paris." She covered her face with one hand
and laughed pulling her bag into the house.
Tebogo was in the lounge on her phone and she looked
up.
"Hey Lolo."
"Hi Tebogo." she smiled as she headed to the room she
always used here and put her bag there. She breathed
in and out for a few seconds before she walked out of
the room. Her mother was outside talking to her other
aunts and it was how they both pretended like the
therapy session didn't happen and that emotions had
been high in that room.

Mofenyi dropped a kiss on Tebogo's lips just as Alone

headed to the kitchen. With the corner of his eye, he
could see her behind as she disappeared into the
kitchen.
"Are you sure you are fine? No cravings or anything?"
Tebogo shook her head with a smile.
"I'm good. Just nervous about tomorrow."
"I know nothing will bring your mother back but she is
watching over you."
"I know. I still miss her and I wish I had fallen pregnant
sooner so she could hold her grandchild."
He kissed her forehead again.
"You were busy being an attorney and also taking care
of her. It was a strenuous environment to bring a child
in."
He lifted her head and she smiled up at him.

One of her cousins walked in.

"Bathong! Bathong!re single ao."(guys!guys! We're
single please)

The couple laughed as the cousin headed to the

kitchen. She found Alone checking the fridge.
"There is food in the oven."
"I saw. I wanted something different. Le tlile leng?
Things aren't stocked in here.)
"Last night and today they went to get the cow so you
know gore ka bo past six ha le tla bo re ira
serobe."(around six we'll be making serobe)
Alone didn't know if she was going to stomach the smell
but she damn hoped she will.
"Let me go to the shops and get a few things."
"Alright."

She drank water and placed the glass down. She

passed the couple in the lounge.
"Lolo?"
"We'll catch up, I want to go to the shops." She looled
around. Where was her mother? She wanted to borrow
the car.
"Have you seen mama?"

Tebogo tried to remember where her uncle's widower

was.
"Ng, I think she went with mmamane Beatrice. Mmanae
wanted to show her something at her place."
"I can take her."
"No it's fine. I'll wait for mom."

Tebogo looked at her man.

"Are you sure?"
"I mean I can't give her my car keys and maybe what
she needs is urgent."
Tebogo looked at Lolo for a few seconds. Her cousin
had been hurt when she had said she was going to go
after their men and she has never seen her act
otherwise. Besides, Lolo was pregnant with another
man's baby. Her couain wouldn't do that to her. It had
just been Tebogo being insecure because she knew in
her heart of hearts that she wanted Shawn too.
"Lolo, let him take you. I have a feeling they'll come back
a bit later."
"Sure?" Tebogo knew why Alone was asking that.
"Yes. If you do find wings by the shop, come with them
for me."

"Okay."
Lolo headed to the bedroom and she got her handbag.
She felt her phone vibrate in her jean pocket.
She saw the caller id and smiled.
"Hey babe."
"And how are my babies doing today?"
"We're good. Kana we arrived and I attended therapy in
the morning."

She walked out as she spoke over the phone with a

smile and laughs in between. She gave Tebogo and
Mofenyi a thumbs up and Mofenyi led the way. Tebogo
could tell Lolo was speaking to Shawn. It was in her tone
and the way she lit up from within.
Mofenyi unlocked the car and Lolo was about to open
the backseat passenger door when he opened the front
door for her. She thanked him and got inside.
"I miss you too okay? This weekend will be over before
you know it."
"I'll call later okay? And what did you eat the whole
day?"
"I'm going to the shops to buy something to eat."

She buckled up as the car started.

"I feel like you want me to spank you so you can eat?"
Her face heated and she looked at her brother-in-law to
make sure he hadn't heard the conversation.
"Bathong Shawn!"
His voice dropped to a low whisper.
"You'd like that wouldn't you?"
She felt her cl*t throb. This man.
"I'm hanging up."
"I love you."
"I love you more." she cut the call and placed the phone
on her lap.
"Hi Lolo.."
Mofenyi finally spoke.
"Hi." she didn't remember saying hi when she walked in
inside the house.
Mofenyi fixed the rearview mirror as he drove slowly on
the dusty road. Her soft vanilla perfume filled the car as
he watched her eyes try to concentrate on the road
before she looked down at her phone. Her lips pouted
slightly and he closed his eyes, imagining how soft those
lips would be.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~57~

The drive to the shops was a bit slow as Mofenyi kept on

stealing glances at Alone. He knew she didn't see him
that way but his wife somehow planted the idea of Alone
in his head. He swallowed down his budding feelings as
she tapped away on her screen. When the car parked,
theu both got out of the car and headed to the shops.

***

Lorato walked out to find her mother waiting for her. She
opened her mouth to speak but a slap that had the
police officers turning landed on Lorato's cheek as she
sniffed.
"Did I teach you to fight in public?"
Lorato shook her head.
"Thank you officers."
"Her court hearing will be communicated." She nodded
and dragged Lorato out.
"You are going to call that girl and apologise to her so
she can drop the charges. Na wa poka Lorato?"(are you
crazy Lorato?)
"Nyaa mma."

She let the tears roll down her cheeks, trying to keep up
with her mother's fast pace and the fact that she was
squeezing her wrist too tight and it hurt so much.
She was hauled into the car and she burst into tears
over that.
Her mother walked in and took out Lorato's phone. She
had got the car keys as well from the officer.
"Call her."
Lorato looked at her mother with teary eyes.
"Lorato, you embarrassed me at your party with your
shady dealings and you still went ahead to trend. Kante
wa peka ne wena? O setsenwa?"(are you crazy? Are
you a madman?)
She shook her head as the phone was thrust in ber
hands and she bit down her lip.
"Call."
She called Owame's number and it rang for a few
seconds before it was answered.
"Owame, hello."
"H-hi." Her voice shook as her mother glared at her."I
wanted to apologise, I shouldn't have beat you
maabane."
"Okay."
Her mother nudged her and she sniffed wiping away
more tears.
"Can you drop the case?"
"So you can harass me again?" Lorato wanted to
scream so bad.
"I won't. I swear."
"Hello." Her mother had snatched rhe phone from
Lorato.
"Hello. Ke bua le mang?"(who am I speaking to?)
"Lorato's mother. I'll pay you if you drop the charges,
she's your twin and I'm sure you love her."
"Ng, I don't know. The first instance she insulted me and
now she assaulted me for no valid reason."
"You have my word. She'll never harass you."
"Okay. I'll drop the charges."
"How much do you want?"
"Nothing. Please keep her away from me. Thank you."
The call cut and Lorato wiped her tears. At twenty nine,
her mother could still boss her around like that.
"You're exhausting. Are you still with Shawn?" She
shook her head.
"Why?"
"He sent a gun man to kill me if I don't sign the divorce
papers."
"It was too quick. He has another woman. Wa bona your
stupidness cost you your marriage?"
Lorato leaned back, tired of the crying and too
exhausted now.
"But it might not last. That man loves you and is still
angry."
"Men never forgive cheating." Lorato said, her eyes
heavy and slowly closing.

Her mother looked at her. She started the car. Where did
Lorato live? This child was so frustrating.

She reversed out of the parking spot.

***

At the village, Alone held the basket as Mofenyi came to

find her.
"Are you done?"
"Almost."

She got the plain oats and another tub of plain yogurt.
She hated. Mofenyi took the basket from her, his fingers
brushing with hers as she moved her hand back.
"Thanks…I guess."
He nodded with a smile as he trailed behind her while
she walked to other shelves. One guy stopped him.
"You have a beauty in your hands. Bo ntša ba ja
tlhebanna."(some men are enjoying life)

He just chuckled as Alone turned, holding more things in

her hands and putting them in the basket. She looked at
the basket for a long second before she shook her head.
She was missing something?
"Did you get the wings for Tebogo?"
"Let me go get them." She nodded as he walked away
and she sighed. This baby was already making her eat
special diets and the baby was not even here yet.

She got biscuits off the shelf and she saw him walk
towards the line with her basket. Alone quickly walked
past the people and she caught up to him.
"I'm done and thank you."
"You are welcome."
She put the biscuits in the basket and opened her bag to
check for her card. She took out her purse and got her
card.

Mofenyi stole glances at her. That married man was one

lucky basta*d to have her. But then the more he thought
about it, maybe that was why no one married her. Afraid
every man with sense would salivate over her. It was his
turn and he took out his wallet to pay…
"It's fine, I'll pay for my stuff." He moved aside as she
took out her items and they were scanned.

Minutes later, they were both out of the shop and Alone
thanked him.

***

At Meme's village house, the rest of the family had

arrived and Lolo's uncles were at the back.
Tebogo smiled as Lolo walked to the kitchen with the
plastics.
Mofenyi handed her her wing.
"Thank you."
Tebogo went to the kitchen with her wings and found
Lolo packing the things into the pantry
"Are you sure you want that?"
"If the food is not bland amd boring, I won't eat."

She then sighed and looked at her cousin. She did a

double take on Tebogo as her mind failed to reconcile
the cousin she had grown up with and what Tebogo had
said to her almost a week back. She breathed out. Was
that how she had always seen her? She shook her head
and focused on the present.

"How are you feeling about tomorrow?"

Alone folded her hands and leaned against the kitchen
counter.
"It solidifies that mom is gone."
She breathed out.
"It really does..I hope she is happy."
"Me too."

Alone sucked in a deep breath.

"Let's go help out and see what we can do." Tebogo
opened the kitchen door and she watched as the black
pots were washed. The older ladies walked insidr the
kitchen.
"Re ira magwinya, Lolo o tla apaya phaleche?"(We are
making fatcakes, Lolo will you make the pap?)
"Ee mma."
Alone excused herself so she can go change and tie a
headwrap.

***

Time went on and around nine pm, everyone was

gatherrd by the fire as Lolo looked at her plate eith
seswaa and pap. She had her first bite and waited for
her body to reject the food but surprisingly it was good.
She declined the wine as she opted for juice.
Like they always did, they shared jokes and laughed.
She chewed as one of her cousins announced that she
finally got a job. With cheeks full of food, she clapped
her hands. Tebogo was sitting opposite her as Mofenyi
whispered in her ear and she smiled. They were cute
together.

Alone swallowed and her aunts looked at her.

"And wena Mma Paris?" Lolo laughed picking her glass
of juice.
"I enjoyed my Christmas and the company of my
companion."

She smiled into her juice.

"We saw that ring fitting post, we are waiting for the
cows."
"The mbuus should be delivered."
"Bathong malome!" Lolo exclaimed as she brought the
pap to her lips.
"Ee. Ao. We need to see the gentleman."
Her other cousins agreed and her mother just smiled
sadly. Lolo could see the hurt in her eyes that she didn't
even know who her daughter was seeing.
"And I got another promotion ko FNB."
"Magadi a ile ko godimo."(the bride price has went up!"
"Ng ng. Lona le tlo koba motho wame ka di charge tsa
lona."(you guys are going to chase away my person with
your charges.)

Laughter filled the whole circle as the attention was

taken away from Alone. Tebogo smiled and interjected.
"Lolo, why don't you tell them you're expecting?"
Lolo froze.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~58~
Silence was filled by the sparks from the fire as Lolo
opened her mouth and closed it again.
"Expecting?" Her mother broke the silence.
"As in you're pregnant?" Her other older cousin asked.
Everyone's eyes were on Tebogo.
"No…she is talking about expecting another promotion."
Lolo tried to keep her voice even as she waved her hand
in the air.
"Right?" she pointedly looked at her cousin.
"Ah-yes." Tebogo answered and Alone smiled a little too
bright.
"I've been doing exceptionally well at work and they said
I should be expecting another promotion."
"Banna! We are so proud of you." Her uncle's voice
beamed with pride. Her shoulders sagged in relief and
she looked at Tebogo before she looked at her food.
Now the food lost taste and she didn't want to eat no
more.

She smiled throughout and Mma Alone observed Alone

till she volunteered to take the plates and go wash the
dishes, leaving everyone there.

Tebogo excused herself and followed Alone to the

kirchen. Alone turned her head to look at Tebogo.
"What the hell was that?"
Tebogo stepped back.
"I thought you wanted to share the good news with the
family."

Alone chuckled.
"You thought? About my secret? Ne o thought'a?"
"Lolo, pregnancy is a happy thing."
"Did I reveal yours?"
Tebogo sighed.
"This is no-"
Alone breathed in.
"I'm so close…this close.."
Alone brought her index and pointing fingers together
and there was only a small gap in between as she
looked Tebogo dead in the eye, her eyes blazing even if
she was a few inches shorter than her older cousin.
"To being fed up with you. One you accuse me of
wanting other people's men. Two you had no right…no
f*cking right to reveal information that's precious to me. I
will reveal it when I want to. I'm not even past the first
trimester yet an-"

Alone stepped back, fisting her hand over her mouth to

breath and regain her emotions.Tebogo had never seen
Alone that angry with her.
"Waitse ke eng, get out. I don't want to say anything I'll
regret. Leave."
"Lo-"
"Tsamaya motho wa Modimo."(please go)

Tebogo walked out of the kitchen and headed to the

lounge. She heard the water running as plates clinked
and she breathed out. One of her older aunts walked in
from the front door.
"Tebogo, can we talk for a minute?"
"Ee mma."
She walked over to her and her aunt lowered her voice.
"You know we aren't stupid right?"
She nodded.
"What you did back there was uncalled for. If Lolo
herself never mentioned it, that means you had no right
to do it."
Tebogo looked down.
"Ngwanaka, that's not how things go. She never got in
the way of your own announcement, did she?"
"She didn't."
"And she long knew right?"
Tebogo nodded.
"Give her the same courtesy. She wants to do things her
own way and allow her that. You ambushed her and I
hope she forgives you but you should sincerely
apologise to her."
"Ee mma."

In the kitchen, Alone closed her eyes for a minute. When

did Tebogo start doing things like this? She sihed as she
continued washing and she was washing the knife when
it cut her finger by mistake.
"Urg!" She groaned as she ran the cut ubder water,
tears pricking her eyes and frustration emitting from
every cell of her body. She looked at her finger again
snd continued wahsing.

Tebogo was approached by anotber of her aunts and

cousins who told her the same thing. She swallowed as
she walked into the kitchen.
"Lolo can-"
"Ng ng. I don't care if you are the exact replica of aunt
Meme and you remind me of her but please leave me
alone. I don't want to talk to you."
Tebogo swallowed.
"I'm sorry. I said that without thinking"
"Yeha sure, like I could blurt out to the family the day
after the funeral and say 'hey, Tebogo is pregnant.' But I
didn't. I don't have the energy for you right now."
She finished washing the dishes as Tebogo stood there.
Alone dried her hands with the dish cloth and just
walked past her cousin. She checked for her phone in
her pocket. It was a Friday. It was either Shawn was
working at home or mindlessly bored out of his mind
waiting for her to call. She preferred the latter but
somehow her boyfriend loved his work so much he
could bet he was straining his already blind eyes in front
of a computer screen. She smiled as she video called
him. She got inside the room and locked the door as the
phone rang. It was answered in a minute and his face
came into view.
"Hi baby."
"Hey angel. How was your day? And did you eat?"
"I did. What are you up to?"
He shifted his camera and she saw the half empty
coffee mug and a few files on the sitting room table.
"Shawn, you should rest. Bona matlho a gago ka jaaka
a ntse."(look at your eyes)

He yawned, shifting the camera to his face.

"Don't worry about me. Ke irela ngwanake
phaleche."(I'm providing for my child)

She chuckled.
"Look at you being responsible already."
"I just want the best for both of you and to plan my
budgets accordingly. The next few projects I have in
mind might leave me broke for a couple of months."
She frowned.
"What did you have in mind? We can work on the
budget together."
He gave her a lazy smile that made her heart stop.
"I'll tell you in a few months." She yawned and nodded.
"I'm so tired. I wanted to see your face before i
showered and slept okay?"
He smiled.
"I'll call after your shower okay?"
"Ee rra. I love you."
"I love you Mma Kgotla."

She cut the call and placed the phone against her chest,
laying her head on the soft pillow with a cute smile on
her face.

***

At Lorato's boyfriends', she was alone in the sitting

room. He was working late and she knew she had to
earn his forgiveness. She closed her eyes and placed a
hand over her stomach. She had ignored those crampts
the whole day. She laid her head on the white couch and
tried to sleep.

She didn't know how long she slept but she was abruptly
woken up by a shake then she was picked up.
Disoriented, she opened her eyes to find herself in her
boyfriend's arms.
"Hi.." she smiled at him but the smile died when she saw
the panic in his eyes.
"What's wrong?"
He swallowed as he quickly walked out the door.
"You're bleeding." Her heart stopped and she looked
down. The blue dress she had changed into was soaked
and so was his white shirt.
"Don't panic, we're going to the hospital my love."
Lorato blinked, her emotions slowly processing what this
much blood means. It took her a few minutes before a
sob escaped her lips.
"We'll be fine. I promise."

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~59~

Two months later…

Alone arched her back as her nails scratched his back
before she fisted her hand over her back. His hand was
holding her leg, burying himself deeper into her warm
heat. She clenched around him, holding him tigjt like a
vice grip. Shawn spasmed in her, cursing under his
breath.
"Ah-Shaaaawn, I'm abo-"
Her words were replaced by screams as she came
undone under him and he followed minutes later. He
breathed hard against her neck, his hot breath fanning
over those lovebites from last night. With closed eyes,
Alone wrapped her arms over his neck. His lips brushed
over hers, the stubble on his jaw grazing her soft skin as
she released a soft sigh.
"Morning angel."
She smiled, looking into his eyes.
"Good morning babe." She brought her soft hands to
cradle his much bigger face and he pecked her lips.
"Let's take a shower. I want to show you something."

He slid out of her before he got up first and picked her

up. Her eating habits had improved so much and she
was gaining a bit of weight, her face always fresh and
her smiles easy to light up her whole face.
He walked them to the bathroom and he put her down
on her feet in the shower.
Alone adoringly stared at him. She should tell her family
somewhere around next week that she is pregnant.
Maybe a week after Tebogo's wedding which was this
weekend. She and her boyfriend were on their off days
and he has been working so hard every single day of the
week. That didn't mean he neglected her. He had
flowers delivered to her office last week and he came to
get her for lunch. If he didn't, she went over to his office
for lunch which often led the insatiable man to ask for
his dessert. Her.

"You're looking at me as if you're going to propose to

me."
"If I propose you get to use my surname."
He chuckled, holding her chin between his fingers.
"I love you."
"I love you too." He pecked her lips as he let the shower
water rain on them and wash away every little thing.

***

Alone sipped on her milkshake on their way to wherever

Shawn was taking them. His hand was gripping her
thigh while with the other, he steered the wheel.
She couldn't help but be happy. Ten years of misery led
up to this, a happy and safe space with the love of her
life. Her teenage heart knew he was the one and she
trusted her sixteen year old self than she trusted her
twenty-six year old self.

Shawn picked her hand and kissed it as she smiled at

him. It was all full citcle.

Her appointment with her doctor had also been good

news. She had read that being pregnant might also
increase her chances of gettting cancer on top of her
having that horrible gene.

Luckily, she was cleared of that for now so she can

enjoy her pregnancy to the fullest. She closed her eyes,
her mind going to Tebogo's baby shower. She wished
she had never agreed to plan the thing and it was two
months away.

Shawn wondered how he was going to broach the

subject to his brother. Dinner tonight was going to be a
good start. He sucked in a breath as he took a sharp
turn to the left. Alone started to really look at their
surroundings.
"Where are we?"
He smiled.
"We're close." Alone watched as they passed some
houses in construction and she continued sipping on her
milkshake.

Shawn parked his car on front of a desolate piece of

land that was fenced and boy was it big. He got out of
the car then rounded off to her side to open the foor for
her.
He took her hand as she left her milkshake in the car.
He led her towards the empty plot.
"Shawn?" She looked at him questionably.
He squeezed her hand as he opened the gate and they
stepped inside. He kissed her cheek and let her hand
go.
"You can look around."
She partrd her lips then closed them as she walked
around the plot. It was huge.
"Is it a residential plot?"
He nodded then she looked at the dustu ground as the
dots started connecting…
"Shawn…" She walked towards him and he opened his
arms for her.
"What do you think Mma Kgotla? The Kgotla residence
here? Our little ones running around?"
Her heart sky rocketed as tears filled her eyes.
"And you can decorate it to your heart's desire.."
"Shawn…"
"It's yours. Well, ours. To build your dream house.." the
tears rolled down and she tried to wipe them away but
he beat her to it.
"All this space?"
"Ee mma." He turned her s that her back was against
him as he held her close.
Alone licked her dry lips. He bought land for them? It
was theirs?
"Pinch me."
"It's not a dream angel…And the location is perfect, in
two years time it will be a very beautiful residental area
akere you saw we passed a few houses that were under
construction."
He placed his chin on her head.
"You're serious?"
"About you? Us? Our family? Yes. I don't joke about
serious things like this."

She turned to face him and she kissed him. He kissed

her back, nipping on her bottom lip and absoft giggle
escaping her lips.
"Thank you."
"Ka go rata autwe Alone?" (I love you okay?)He stared
right into her soul and she nodded.
"O ska lebala.(don't forget that) It's always been just us
and it's always been you. No one but you."
She nodded, her eyes still looking into his. He broke the
eye contact.
"What kind of house would you build?"
"It depends on the kids we want. How many do you
want?"
"We agreed on two."
She chuckled.
"And let's be mindful of the age difference, at this point
Kagiso is like my dad."
Alone laughed.
"Okau how about three years in between. How about
three mme? I was an only child and although I had
cousins from both sides, having a sibling would have
been nice."
"Won't popping out my babies delay your career?"
She could see the genuine concern in his eyes, she
knew if it was other men they'd not care about her
career even.
"We'll manage, these children will have two present
parents."
"I know. I just don't want you to feel like having kids
delayed you or is slowing you down."
"Thank you for the concern but as mediaeval as it
sounds, I'll pop out your babies as long as my health
allows me too."
He chuckled.
"Nka go neela wa bo two after our first born." She
showed him two fingers and he chuckled.
"Ee mma."
"How about a double storey? With a wine cellar down,
four bedrooms for kids, two guest rooms, a gym room?
No woman is going to see you sweaty in a public gym."
"Possessive much?" He raised an eyebrow and she
smiled sweetly.
"I have a lot of ideas."
"I'll arrange a meeting with an architect? Hmmm?"
"Okay."

***

Lorato was at her boyfriend's house as she nursed her

fourth bottle of savannah. The silence was too loud and
the past two months went by in a blur. She didn't even
remember how she signed the final papers that legally
made her a free woman, signalling the offical end of her
marriage. All she could remember was blood and her
wanting her baby at the hospital when she woke up.
She downed the bottle, the tears rolling down her
cheeks. It was all her fault. She lost her baby. She failed
as a woman.

Her lips trembled as she picked the fifth bottle and

opened it. She had a huge gulp and then another then
another but the alcohol failed to numb the pain

She failed as a woman. She couldn't even keep a baby.

She laughed before she cried out loud, sliding down the
couch and bringing her knees to her face, ugly crying.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~60~

At Alone's house, she sat on the bed in her towel as she

spoke to the designer.
"Okay. Final fitting is tomorrow? I'll be there around
lunch time."
Shawn passed her as she spoke some more on the
phone before she cut the call.

Just as she was about to remove her towel, another call

came through. She sucked in a deep breath before she
answered.
"Hi."
"Hello. Did the designer call about the dress?"
"She did. I'll be there tomorrow."
"Okay. Uhm you are allowed to bring a plus one to the
wedding."
"I'll keep that in mind."
"And Lolo?"
"Hmm?"
"I am deeply sorry about what I did and said two months
back, I never meant to offend you and I know it was
wrong of me to say and do what I did."
Lolo closed her eyes breathing in and out.
"Okay Tebogo."
"I know it will take time, I know I fell out of line with
everything I did. I'd never intentionally hurt you Lolo. You
have to believe me."

Alone sighed as she rubbed her temples. Silence

passed between them.
"If you need more time it's okay, I just don't want to
completely ruin more than two decades of friendship and
we've been cousins forever." Tebogo said softly over the
phone. Maybe if Lolo let her back in, they can make it
better, work on it. Her emotions were high and maybe it
was the pregnancy hormones and insecurities.
Alone opened her eyes, not knowing what to say.
"We'll talk. You crossed my boundaries and you of all
people know me better than anyone else."
"I know. Ke ikgalemetse."(I chastised myself)
"I hear you. I'll call tomorrow."
"Okay. Thank you."
"Sure. Bye."
"Bye."
Alone cut the call as she walked over to the wardrobe,
Shawn walked out of the shower in that moment, his
chest gleaming with water droplets and she bit her lower
lip.
"Get dressed."
She turned to face the wardrobe. His hand wrapped
around her waist and she smiled.
"We might be late."
"He'll understand."
Alone held his hand.
"I really want to make a good impression, Kgotla."
He slid his hand under the towel.
"You don't have to impress them but you can impress
me."
Alone chuckled but it soon died on her lips as his hand
moved up till it covered her mound.
She breathed harshly as he kissed her neck before he
started sucking on it and she leaned into him.
"Shaawn, please.."
"Please what?" She didn't know as his thumb brushed
over her cl*t.

***

At Kagiso's place, Fiona put their two month old baby to

sleep. She prayed he didn't wake up while they were
with guests.
Kagiso stood by the nursery and Fiona turned to give
him a thumbs up.
"I managed." she whispered. He had made dinner even
though she had insisted. Her family had wanted to put
her in confinement for six months but Kagiso? As
stubborn as he was, drove all the way to Maun to get
them six weeks after his son was born. He didn't want to
visit his son as if he wasn't a father and his wife wasn't
married. Her family had no choice but to let him, he
basically forced their hand and she was grateful.

All she had was porridge and not too nice food, in
between feeding their son, there was nothing else to do.
He took her hand and led her out the nursery. Fiona
yawned, covering her mouth.
"Are you sure you're up to the dinner?"
She nodded.
"Shawn said he wanted to introduce someone to us so
we should meet his someone."
"But you look exhausted."
"Junior is an active baby, let me freshen up." She said
pointing to her t-shirt. He had vomited on it earlier and
she-she sighed. Was she going to have a second born
after this one? She highly doubted she was going to
have one.
"Sure?"
She nodded. He walked with her to the bedroom and he
left their door open to hear if their son will wake.

"Kana when Shawn pushed for that divorce I suspected

he was seeing someone."
"Or maybe he met her after the divorce. Poor Shawn
had been faithful to the T and that girl played him."
"He didn't deserve that. I don't know but it's probably not
Alone."
"That cutie from the wedding?"
"Cutie? Fifi you're talking about a grown woman."
Fiona shrugged.
"The one who was speaking to Shawn in the purple
dress?"
"That one. His high school ex."
"The one whose initials are in his finger?"
He nodded, removing his clothes. Fiona had been so
self conscious after he brought them back but she had
their baby, her body was going to change and he loves
her either way.
"But they'd look cute together."
Kagiso didn't even entertain that idea. His brother had
assured him that Alone was a thing of the past.
"Anyways, let's finish up so we can wait for Shawn and
his person. I think that girl scared him off marriage.
Imagine calling the family to talk about how your wife is
denying you sex only for it to be revealed that she is
cheating."
"And her family was so damn entitled to Shawn. I should
have seen them for what they were when we went for
his magadi."
Fiona shrugged.
"It is what it is. Now we can hope for the best for him."
"Yeah."

***

The door opened and Lorato looked at the person who

walked in. She laughed with tears in her eyes.
"So life is n-normal while my baby is dead?"
Her boyfriend's eyes scanned the house. All he could
see was bottles on the table. It hadn't been cleaned. He
also lost a child but he didn't lose it like this. He closed
his eyes, praying for patience to deal with Lorato.
"We lost a baby!!" Lorato screamed and he stepped
back. He took one look at her and just headed to the
bedroom. He should probably break up with her, there is
only so much he could take.

He undid his tie and placed his briefcase down. He

heard her sobs in the sitting room and a part of him felt
like he was being heartless by breaking up with her now.
His phone rang and his face lit up.
"Hello."
"Hi, are you at home? I made dinner."
He checked the time on his watch.
"I'll be there. Give me twenty."
She giggled.
"Okay. Bye."
The call cut and he quickly walked to the shower.

***

Owame looked at the grocery list. She should have done

the family's shopping earlier but she had been swamped
with chores and helping the kids with homework. She
was almost done with getting her license.

She called the oldest, her phone in between her

shoulder and ear as she picked the Koo beans off the
shelf.
"Hello. Are you and your siblings okay?"
"Hi aunty Owame. We are fine. When will you be back?"
"In less than an hour. I'll make supper when I get there
okay?"
"Okay."
"Bye bye and don't open for strangers."
"Okay. Bye."

The girl cut the call. It was exhausting having to speak

English twenty four seven with these private school kids.
She checked the list in her phone and continued
pushing her trolley. Her braids were fresh, giving her that
glow every girl gets when they are from the hairdresser.

She took thirty more minutes in the store, filling up the

trolley before she joined the line. She opened her bag to
remove the card she was given by her employers for
such things. She only used it for groceries or anything
concerning household items or the kids. She was being
paid enough and she was really saving the money.
A man stood behind her and she turned her head, she
smiled at him in a friendly way before she pushed her
trolley forward. The man smiled.

Lorato paid first and when she was done, she put the
plastics in the trolley. Not noticing that she dropped the
bank card as she walled to the entrance pushing the
trolley.

The gentleman behind her picked the car and frowned.

He paid for his things as he looked at the door and she
was pushing the trolley out. He walled a bit quickly,
trying to catch up to her. When he did, he stopped s few
feet ahead of her.
"Ms?"
Owame's forehead furrowed. The guy from the shop?
"You dropped your card." She checkef herself and her
bag. He was right. He now walked towards her slowly.
"Next time be careful."
"Thank you so much."
"Do you need any help with the groceries?"
"I'm waiting for a cab."
"I can drop you off."
She smiled nervously. He wasn't in her league. She had
been kidding herself a few months bsck thinking she can
have Shawn. He also wasn't in her league. She was that
poor girl from the orphanage who was used by her sister
to try and scam a rich man.
"It's okay. The cab is on it's way."
"Your name is? Well I'm Gofaone.."
"Owame."
"I don't bite Owame. Let me drop you off. Mathaka a a di
cab take their sweet time masigo."
He was right. She checked her phone. She needed to
be home with the kids and get started on dinner.
"Okay. Just this once."
He put his hands on the trolley, pushing it as she let go.
She timidly followed him. They were almost the same
height but he must be a good five inches taller than her.

***

At Kagiso's house, Shawn parked his car as he switched

off the car engine and the headlights went out. He
looked at Alone.
"He doesn't hate you. Relax."
He pecked her lips.
"Shawn, at the wedding we pretended to be meeting for
the first time."
He shrugged.
"Tseo ke tsa bone.(those are their own issues)I'm not
hiding you anymore angel. I'm loving you the way you
actually deserve."
She smiled and kissed him. He held her chin with one
hand, the other squeezing her thigh.
"Later angel."
He broke the kiss and she smiked against his lips.

Inside the house, Fiona looked at the table. Their baby

was still asleep and she waited with her husband. They
heard the car doors close and she couldn't wait. A
minute later, there was a door knock.
"Let me go get the door."
Kagiso said and he walked to the lounge, leaving his
wife in the dining room.
Outside, Shawn held Alone's hand, squeezing it tight
and bring their interjoined hands to his lips. She smiled.
Shawn knocked again.
"Don't break down my door!" His brother could be heard
from the house and Shawn chuckled.
"Mister, wa diega."(you're taking your sweet time)
Alone smiled. Her baby was going to have siblings. She
never got that and she understood why. Her mother
went through so much. She was still smiling.
The door opened and Kagiso had lifted his hand to fist
bump with Shawn but it stopped midway as he looked at
Shawn and…..Alone?

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~61~

Kagiso fixed his smile in place before he fist bumped

Shawn.
"Hey."
"Hi…"
Alone had noticed that pause. She swallowed and she
smiled as brightly as she could.
"I never properly introduced you guys, babe this is my
brother Kagiso and Kagiso, this is the woman in my life
Alone."
Kagiso extended his hand to shake Alone's hand and
she did the same.
"Nice to meet you. Again." Kagiso replied evenly.
"Likewise."
Kagiso opened the door wider and the two walked
inside. He breathed in. Somehow his subconscious
knew he was going to bring her and why was he
surprised? He has never met someone so stuck on his
high school sweetheart like Shawn.
Shawn lowered his head to whisper in her ear.
"Babe, you look uncomfortable."
"Did you tell him it was me coming? I think I should
apolo-"
"You'll do no such thing. I'll talk to my brother, okay?" He
kissed her head, leading her to the dining room. He
smiled as Fiona stood up to greet them. She hugged
Shawn and hugged Lolo.
"Hii…and who is this beauty?"
Lolo blushed as Shawn chuckled.
"Lole meet my sister-in-law Fiona and Fi, meet my
woman Alone."
Fiona hugged Lolo again.
"Nice to meet you Alone."
"Pleasure to meet you too." Alone relaxed, Fiona was so
calm and all smiles.
"Please sit down."
Shawn pulled out a chair for Lolo and she sat down. He
pecked her lips and pulled out his chair.

Kagiso walked inside the room and he sat down next to

his wife kissing her hand.
"And where is KJ?"
Kagiso glanced out of the room. Alone was his brother's
choice and maybe for once he should support him after
Shawn had implicitly said his brother is never on his
side. His jaws clenched, remembering how his
seventeen year old brother's future nearly went down
the drain because of threats to report rape. Alone looked
at her empty plate. Her sins were not forgiven and
Shawn might love his brother but his brother didn't like
her one bit.
Fiona broke the tense atmosphere as she answered
Shawn.
"He is sleeping, kana you haven't seen your nephew."
Shawn's hand was firmly placed on Alone's thigh to
soothe her. Alone's interest was piqued.
"You have a nephew?"
"Ngwana o two months? He'll be my nephew when he's
five and he can kick a ball."
Fiona chuckled and Kagiso smiled.
"And who said he's kicking a ball with you?" Kagiso
asked and Shawn shook his head.
"I won't have weak knees and won't be sporting grey
hair. I'm good."
Fiona laughed as Kagiso picked the napkin to throw it at
Shawn.
"Wa lapisa kana wena."
Alone relaxed once more as Fiona offered to dish up
and she volunteered too. When their plates were full,
Fiona who was curious and tired of hearing bits and
pieces of Shawn and Alone's history, asked.
"When did you guys meet again?"
Alone choked on her rice as Shawn looked at his brother
and sister-in-law.
"Surely it must be at the wedding." Kagiso looked
Shawn dead in the eye as Shawn leaned back lazily,
sipping his wine.
"If I say we didn't?"
Fiona's jaw dropped and Alone drank water before she
looked at them. If Shawn was to marry her, they'd be her
in-laws and it would be better for them to start on a
clean slate right?
"But anyways, we did meet and worked things out."
Fiona clapped her hands.
"This sounds like something out of a book, more of a
second chance romance don't you think babe?"
"I think so too. So Alone, how have you been?"
"I-I've been okay. Just work and family."
Kagiso nodded as he frowned. Alone didn't meet his
gaze and she looked uncomfortable. He breathed out.
Was he that dense? The dinner went by quietly with
small talk here and there.
"Thank you for the food. It was delicious. May I know
where the restroom is?"

Fiona offered to show her and left the men in the dining
room. Shawn started to pile the dirty plates.
"Why didn't you tell me in advance?" Kagiso started.
"So I get a lecture first and be told the woman I love isn't
suitable or that I'm moving too fast?"
Kagiso went quiet knowing he was going to say that.
"Why did she look uncomfortable?"
"Because she thinks you hate her for what happened
ten years ago."
He breathed out.
"She's right." Shawn went quiet.
"I didn't get a criminal record and she was forced to say
that by her mother. Her mother threatened that before
the call. She was sixteen and it was either she breaks
up with me or her mother reports me for something I
didn't even do and she chose to push our feelings aside
and end it."
Kagiso kept quiet at that. Shawn walked to the kitchen
and he followed.
"I'm sorry. I just care too much about you and I don't
want to see you hurt."
"Sometimes you have to let me be an adult. I'm almost
thirty and I'm not a little boy anymore. I know that mom
and dad would be proud that you raised me but at some
point, you have to see that I'm a man who can make his
own decisions and not be dictated by anyone or
influenced."
"I know…"
"You have your son to fully parent like that, you have the
family you always wanted. I'll be there but I am building
my own life with the woman I love."
Kagiso nodded. Shawn looked happier with Alone. He
had been observing his brother the last two months and
he had to let that ten year old grudge go. She was a
child, as his brother just stated.
"I hear you. Okay."
"Good. Thank you."

Kagiso walked back to the dining room to get the

ceramic pots as Shawn rolled up his shirt sleeves.
"Also, I wanted to talk to you about something."
Kagiso looked at Shawn.
"I'm listening."
He leaned against the counter and Shawn rubbed his
nape.
"So, I wanted to pay-"
"Tell me it's not what I'm thinking?"
"Kagi, let me finish..this is important to me."
Kagiso listened.
"Ke batla go duella Alone magadi."(I want to pay bride
price for Alone)

Silence.
"The ink on your divorce papers has not even dried yet."
"It's been two weeks since it's final. Besides, that
marriage has been long dead. Time is money."
Kagiso chuckled.
"Magadi? When?" Shawn smiled. That was more like it.
"In a month's time, and also add danages."
Kagiso's eyes widened.
"You got her pregnant?"
Shawn shrugged.
"Will that be possible?"
Kagiso nodded.
"I'll talk to Fiona's family akere they are your family now
as well gape they handled your last negotiations."
Shawn smiled.
"Thank you. It wasn't that hard to accept that I'll always
choose her over everyone right?"
"But will she choose you?"
"Definitely."
Kagiso chuckled.
"About that comment you made about not meeting at the
wedding.."
Shawn just looked at his brother.
"You don't want to know. Trust me."
Kagiso raised his hands in mock surrender.
"Okay."

In the bathroom, Alone finalky walked out after her face

dried and she passed by Fiona who was in the open
bedroom holding the baby. She smiled and wanted to
pass by quietly.
"Alone?"
Fiona half whispered and Alone turned back. She stuck
her head in.
"Hey.."
"You can come in." Alone looked around the nursery.
Her excitement about her own baby building up in her
heart. She walked over to Fiona who was shushing the
little baby.
She smiled, the baby was in a white beanie and cute
little white romper and jacket.
"He's so cute."
"Very..I just put him to sleep after a nappy change."
"How is motherhood?"
Fiona looked at Alone.
"Tiring but my husband is there every step of the way so
the load is bearable."
She couldn't take her eyes off the baby.
"He's two months? Motho o ka nna a re he's around four
months."
"I know right. He was a big baby when he was born so I
guess that counts. Do you want to hold him."
Alone's eyes widened.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Besides, I need to pump more milk before we
head back for dessert."
KJ was put in Alone's arms and she held him as she
was shown. She usually saw some of the kids at home
when they were close to a year or older. Was it because
she wasn't always around and was busy?
"You're not afraid I'll drop him?"
She shook her head. She sat on the chair and she got
ready to pump out milk as Alone looked at the baby who
was looking at her. He wasn't crying just looking. She
rocked him, her little heart bursting with joy. She'll be
having this experience in a few months..

In the kitchen, Kagiso and Shawn looked at each other.

"They are taking too long."
"Fiona probably went to check on KJ."
Shawn wiped his hands and he followed his brother to
the nursery. When they got there, Shawn's heart melted
a bit seeing Alone holding his nephew. He walked over
to her, kissed her head as they looked down at the baby.
"Hey angel."
"Hi." She whispered.
"He's so cute gore. My arms are tired but Fiona said I
should hold him." She continued in a soft whisper.
Shawn looked at her and how it looked on her. He could
already see her with their baby already.

Fiona looked at the two as Alone showed Shawn how to

hold his nephew.
"They should have babies."
Kagiso chuckled.
"Boy do I have news for you…"
Fiona frowned and then looked at her husband then
back at the two who were cooing over the baby.
"Yoh."

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~62~

Alone sat on the couch nursing her glass of juice as

Shawn debated with his brother over something related
to the economy. She was frankly on her day off and she
had shut anything to do with work or her profession out
of her mind. Shawn's hand was on her thigh. It was quite
the debate.
"Ask Alone, kana that's not…"
Shawn sighed frustrated.
Alone raised her hands.
"I am not commenting on anything. You're on your own
Shawn."
Kagiso smirked at Shawn who was frustrated. Where
was his woman's support when he needed it?
Fiona turned to Alone.
"You studied Economics?"
Alone nodded.
"Exhausting but rewarding. I'm on my day off so I am not
being part of any debates."
"Wise choice. I never comment on them. They get
really…heated." She said eyeing them as it got more
intense and she blocked them out.
Alone curiously asked about where Fiona got the crib
and if she had hired someone to decorate the baby's
room. Fiona answered with a little knowing smile.

Almost an hour later, Shawn and Alone got ready to go

back home. Tomorrow was time to go to work and she
had dress fittings for Tebogo's wedding.
Fiona hugged the both of them and Kagiso patted his
brother's shoulder before they bumped shoulders and
he hugged Alone.
"Welcome to the family, Alone." He said to her and he
broke the hug. Alone held back tears. Just like that? She
grinned and nodded as they said bye and walked to the
car, Shawn holding her close. Fiona closed the door and
looked at her husband.
"Ntheye o re waaka Kagiso."(Say you're lying)
Kagiso pulled his wife to him with a little smile.
"Kagiso Jr will have a playmate soon."
"Heee…so Shawn was right? They met before the
wedding?"
"Seems like they played us all at the wedding."
"Ijoo! Kana ekete ke dilo tsa di movie."(it's like movie
stuff)

He kissed her lips. Their son's wails broke the kiss and
he rubbed her lips.
"I'll take care of it. Go relax okay?"
She nodded and she watched him walk away.

Inside the car Alone grinned at Shawn.

"I loved it. Fiona is so nice."
"I'm glad you did."
She sighed happily, as she lowered the seat down a bit
and closed her eyes.
"Tired?"
She nodded.
"Okay. We'll be home in no time okay?"
She nodded yet again as he started the car.

***

At Lorato's boyfriend's place, he walked in back after a

dinner out finding Lorato asleep on the couch. He cut
the call he was on and he picked the bottles to go throw
them in the bin. He sighed, picking up Lorato to go place
her in the guest room. He should end things in the
morning, that way when he comes back from work he
finds her gone. That'd work.

***

At Owame's employers, she made sure the kids were

tucked in bed after dinner. Her phone rang and she
frowned at the new number displayed on her screen.
"Hello."
"Hi, are you free?"
She blinked.
"Gofaone?" She had ended up giving him her number
but he was calling now?
"Ee mma. I'm outside."
Her eyes widened.
"What? It's late. I-"
"I won't take long. I came to say goodnight."
"O tshamekisa petrol."(you're wasting fuel)
He chuckled and she walked over to the sitting room,
pulling the curtains but knowing that she won't see
anything past those high walls.

She tied her gown and looked around the house. Her
bosses were only coming back next week.

Owame held the house keys that were attached to the

remote. She pressed the remote, walking out as the
gate slid open a bit. The dogs were behaving and
hopefully they don't make noise.

She walked to the red gti and he opened the car door for
her from the inside.
"Hi.."
She smiled as he looked at her.
"Hello. Gofaone it's late and you can't tell me you came
all this way to say bye."
He smile in a cute way and she placed her hands on her
lap, looking at him.
"I just wanted to see you again."
Owame, not used to such male attention just nodded.
"You saw me, can I go?"
Gofaone looked at her then threw his head back
laughing.
"You're cute, do you know that?"
She blushed a bit as he played soft songs in his car and
she looked down.
"I was serious about earlier on. I want to get to know
you."
Owame wasn't sure about that. He was way out of her
league. She was a maid for crying out loud, she had a
useless degree that couldn't get her acting gigs and she
didn't want to be abused or anything like that because of
her social standing.
"Gofaone what if it doesn't go anywhere?"
"How will we know if we never try?"
"How about we become friends first?"
"Being friends first means you might friendzone me and
I'll be waiting then some guy you meet randomly gets to
be your boyfriend, leaving me there ka my own
feelings."
"You sound like you have experience."
"I've been through a lot." She nodded.
"Can I at least think about it?"
He nodded. She smiled at him as she faced forward.
"Me being a maid is okay with you?"
"Why wouldn't it be? You are making your own money
and I respect that."
"Okay."
Gofaone took out snack for them and they started
munching on them as they talked. Owame threw her
head laughing and Gofaone just looked at how her eyes
welled up with tears as she laughed and the way she hit
her own thigh when it got too much and she was beyond
dead with laughter.

***

The following morning

Lorato was woken up by her boyfriend in the morning.

Her head was pounding and she couldn't move.
"Lorato? Lorato?"
He called her name over and over again. She opened
her eyes slowly.
"I'm awake." Her voice groggy as dhe tried to not move
her head. It was so heavy and her eyes were barely
open but open nevertheless.
She could see how good he looked in his suit and she
smiled.
"Lorato, I think we should break up."
She froze.
"Brea-"

She sat up right and looked at him. Break up?

"This isn't working and it hasn't been working for a while
now."
She swallowed. She gave up her marriage for them. For
him.
"I want you to be out of the house before the day ends.
It's-"
He paused looking for a particular word but decided
against it.
"I wish you all the best in your life but we won't work."
He kissed her head.
"Just know that I'll always love you." Lorato's tears rolled
down her cheeks as he walked out. She wiped them
away and chuckled. She laughed in disbelief. She is
losing everything like that?
She brought her knees to her face as she sobbed.

***

At FNBB
Alone sat in her spinning chair as she went through the
maternity leave conditions, wondering how she eas
going to work through some of the things as she looked
at the long term projects.

C Corporations and Shawn would have to deal with her

team in regards to their investment. Besides, it was
Shawn who got her pregnant. She smiled thinking about
yesterday, it started off a bit tense but it ended better
than expected.

She bit her lower lip thinking of calling her mother, to tell
her before she gets surprised. She closed her eyes,
hoping for the best.

The phone rang before her mother answered.

"Hello."
"Hi mama. Are you free to talk?"
"Yes."

Alone breathed out. It felt like she was a kid again, her
heart pounding in her chest like she was about to tell her
mother about accidentally breaking something and the
whipping she'd get immediately after that confession.

Tears blurred her vision and she covered her mouth.

"Lolo?"
She sniffed.
"Lolo? Are you okay? What's wrong ngwanaka?"

Alone licked her lips not minding the lipgloss and she
wiped her tears again.

She needed a moment to breath.

"Alone?"
"Ma?"
"Are you okay?" She breathed out.
"I-uh…I'm pregnant."

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~63~

On the other side of the line, Mma Alone smiled. She

was going to be a grandmother but her smile quickly
dissipated as Alone sniffed. She could tell she was
crying.
"Is that why you're crying? Did the father deny the
pregnancy?"
"Uhm no..he didn't."
Lolo wiped her tears. She was twenty six years and
she'll be twenty seven in a few months. She's going to
be a whole mother before the year ends and she was
crying because even though she had blocked her
mother out, telling her things felt like she was a kid again
and she knew she was going to be beaten already. She
wanted to cry out loud and tell herself to grow up. She
was no longer a kid. She was a woman making grown
up decisions.
"What's wrong?" Her mother's concerned voice broke
her more. Why didn't she parent her gently when she
was growing up? Not now. They were getting therapy
but still…
"Uh-"
She swallowed. She'll cut the call after she said
everything she had to say.
"Lolo?"

Alone looked up at the ceiling with wet eyelashes. She

licked her lips that tasted salty and breathed in and out.
"Uhm-the dad…Ke Shawn."(it's Shawn)

She placed the phone down and used both hands to

wipe her tears away.
"Ma?" Mma Alone asked. She was going to get angry
wasn't she? Lolo thought to herself.
"Th-the father of the baby, it's Shawn."
She closed her eyes. The line went silent. She waited.
For her mother to start off with a rant and she was
grateful for the distance and that this was a call even
though the words would still hurt her regardless. Had it
been a mistake to let her mother in again? She wiped
more tears that rolled down her cheeks silently.
"Lolo?"
"Ma?"
"Why are you crying?"
"Ha gona."(nothing)
She fanned her face with one hand and picked up the
phone.
"Are you mad?" Alone's voice trembled slightly.
"I'm not mad. A baby is a blessing and congratulations
okay?"
Alone nodded while using her hand to wipe more tears.
"Okay."
"And I'm sorry if this offends you but isn't Shawn
married?"
"No…uhm,I'll explain."
"You don't have to if you're not comfortable with
explaining. If he's no longer married it's fine. How far
along are you?"
Alone's body visibly relaxed, the tension leaving her
body slowly. She wasn't angry. She took out the wipes
from her bag and wiped her face.
"I'm in my fourth month."
"Okay. If you need anything, advice you can call or I can
come to you to assist okay?"
"Ee mma."
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"Ee mma. It's just the hormones." She sniffed a bit.
"Okay. I'll call later and I'm happy for you autwe Lolo?"
"Ee mma. Thank you."
"You don't have to thank me Lolo, I love you autwe?"
"Ee mma. I-I have to go."
"Okay. Bye."
"Bye."

She cut the call and she sucked in air, her lungs not
taking in enough air to her satisfaction. She cried into
her hands in her office.

***

Lorato finished packing her clothes and she cried on the

bed. Nothing was flourishing for her and now her
boyfriend left her? Just like that?
Her going home was going to prove to her mother how
much of a failure she was. That she did nothing for
herself. She got off the bed and she checked her bank
balances. She still hadn't been able to sell her rings and
few items. She still had some money to keep her afloat
for like two months or so. She wiped her tears and she
typed out a post, advertising both her engagement and
wedding ring. She'll get good money from them and try
something for herself.

She breathed out, trying to be strong but she burst out

into tears. Her arm covered her mouth and she wished
she had died with her baby. The baby could have been
the one thing that made sense in her life right now.

***

At Francistown, Mma Alone hummed as she cleaned her

house. She was going to be a grandmother. It was
exciting ans she was prepared to do everything right for
Alone. She walked out of her bedroom and walked in
Alone's bedroom. She should buy new bed sheets and
blankets. Okay four months. Roughly five to six months
left, she can prepare for Lolo's botsetsi after she gives
birth. Or maybe Lolo didn't want botsetsi? Youngsters
these days never went into botsetsi but it was important
and Lolo is a first time mom. She won't pressure her.
Maybe Lolo would want her to go Gaborone for botsetsi.
She can do that for her. She picked up the picture frame
that had her late husband and her holding Lolo's hand.
They had travelled for the first time to South Africa and
they were by the beach. She rubbed her thumb over the
picture. She breathed out with a smile and placed the
picture down.

She continued humming as she walked out. It was

exciting news and she was sure Lolo was going to share
the news with the family once she's ready.

***

At lunch time by the tailor's, Alone stared at her

reflection in the mirror. The dress still fit but it was a little
tight by the waist there. What if it didn't fit by Saturday?
"Maybe adjust the waist a bit. Just a tiny bit. I'm sure it
will work."
She spun around in the blue dress, she was still the
matron of honour so none of the bridesmaids had the
same dresses as her.
"Okay. I'll work on it. I'll have it sent to you on Friday."
"Thank you." She quickly unzipped it so she can breath.
"Ne o miditse mpa?"(you sucked in your tummy?)
Alone nodded.
"Hai. Let me change and thank you."
"Alright."

She headed to the fitting room and removed the dress,

picking up her loose pleated skirt and her blouse.

When she was done, she walked out with her bag and
said goodbye.

She walked to the car where Shawn was waiting for her.
He opened the door and she walked inside.
"Hey, ready to go?" He pecked her lips.
"Mhmm…"

She buckled up and smiled.

"Do yoy want to accompany me to the wedding?"
"Sure." He started the car. She buckled up and leaned
back.
.
.
.
A FEW DAYS LATER

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆
~64~

Early in the morning around five am, Alone's alarm rang.

It woke up the both of them and she stretched her body.
Her body hurt in all the right places because of the man
she just woke up next to. He pulled her back to him and
she sighed.
"I have to get ready. You too." Alone whispered groggily.
She yawned softly
He kissed her lips shutting her up as he placed her on
top of him. Alone closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth
of his body. Shawn's hand found his way between her
legs and he parted her legs.

Her eyes widened as she gasped softly, feeling him

nudge at her entrance and her body responding
immediately.
"Aaaawww Shaawn!" His stubble grazed her neck, his
hot breath on her neck.
"F*uuuuuuck! Don't do anything, I got you babe." His
deep morning voice had her cl*t throbbing as she bit
down her lower lip.
He settled inside her warmth and started f*cking her
from below. Alone whimpered as she scratched his
chest with her new fresh nail set.
"Come for me angel." He groaned, sucking on her
collarbone. Alone cried out his name as her release had
her closing her eyes shut and he cursed, filling her up
seconds later.

She breathed heavily against his chest while he rubbed

the small of her back, kissing her neck. Alone closed her
eyes. She wanted to go back to sleep now.
"Babe?"
"Hmm?"
"Let's take a shower and get ready to go."
She opened her eyes to look at him as he rubbed his
eyes. She could tell he wasn't seeing clearly but he
smiled at her, pecking her lips and pulling her into him
more and she moaned. He was still deep inside of her.
He kissed her head and she sighed.
"One more minute." Was her soft reply and he nodded.
He didn't detach her from him nor did he pull out, he just
let his hand rub circles on her butt and she closed her
eyes, listenjng to his heart beat.

Shawn watched her. No matter how many times he

made love to her or f*cked her senseless, he'd always
crave her. She was really made for him, his wife, the
mother of his child. His first and only love. He smiled,
remembering that she was also his virgin breaker, his
first. Her warm breath hot his chest before he heard her
soft snores. She was faling asleep? Already? She had to
be there by seven and the wedding started at nine in
church. He flipped them over so he was on top and her
eyes fluttered open. He slid out of her before he picked
her up, not minding the cum that was starting to flow
down her leg. He'll clean up.

Alone yawned.
"You tire me out."
"I'm sorry."
"No…no…don't be. I like it." He thought of the shower
but a bath might do her good.

***

At the hotel room, Tebogo sat in the chair. She had long
been awake since four. Some of the bridesmaids had
arrived at five when she finished bathing and was about
to get started on her hair. She checked the time. It was a
little after seven and Alone wasn't here.

She picked her phone, about to call when there was a

door knock on her door. She went to open the door and
Alone walked in holding her phone.
"Hi themma. Sorry I'm a bit late. Was a bit held up."
Tebogo breathed out a sign of relief. She was starting to
think Lolo had decided not to come.
"It's okay. You're here."
"You look so pretty." Tebogo smiled, her protruding belly
in the way. At least her dress didn't show her belly too
much.
"Thank you. The makeup artist is about to arrive."
Alone nodded. She touched her installed bob wig.
Yesterday was her doing nails and hair for the wedding.
"Okay. Let me go change into the dress. I'll be back."
She hugged Tebogo.
"Guess I'll see you in an hour."
Alone broke the hug and walked away.
"Alone?"
"Hmm?"
"Thank you for coming."
"You're welcome."

She walked out and Tebogo sat on the chair again. Her
nerves were starting to get the best of her. She called
Mofenyi who answered immediately.
"Hey love."
"Hi. Arr you almost ready?"
"Not yet, Tebogo are you panicking?"
"No. Okay, yes."
He chuckled and she rubbed her eyes. She should
change and wear her dress now before the makeup
artist walked in a few minutes from now.
"Breath babe. How's the baby treating you this
morning?"
"Okay. We're okay."
"Get ready. We are getting to the altar okay?"
She nodded just as a door knock had her glancing at the
door.
"I have to go." She cut the call and went to open the
door.

It was the makeup artist.

"Let me wear my dress and we can start."
She said with a smile. Tears burned her eyes, her
mother would have been here to help her. Her father
had been a dead beat even before she was born, she
opened the door wider and turned her back wiping her
tears. Her mother was really gone? It seemed like a bad
dream every day waking up with her gone. She sniffed.

In the hotel room next to Tebogo's, Alone had an airpod

in her ear as she talked to Shawn.
"I won't be sitting next to you mme the whole day."
"Not if I have my way."he said.
She knew he was in the car, waiting to go with her to the
church. That was sweet of him and she loved him so
much.
"I'm sure you are beautiful. You're always beautiful."
"A sight to your blind eyes?"
"Alone tla ga o swaba."
She chuckled but the makeup artist looked at her so she
can keep her face straight.
"And it's not my fault I'm blind."
"I don't care. You're blind."
She heard him suck in a deep breath.
"Sorry ee baby. I'll call in ten minutes okay?"
"Alright. Are you hungry?"
"Ng. You're getting food?"
"Ee mma."
"Okay. Tea is fine, and anything salty will do.
"Ee mma. I'll be waiting Mma Kgotla."
She blushed everytime he said that.
"Alright." She cut the call.

The makeup artist looked at her.

"That sounded like a sweet conversation. Ke new love?"
Alone shook her head.
"Not really."
Next week they were meeting the architect to plan for
their dream house.
"Okay, the way you were blushing like a teenager."
Alone smiled.
"Well…I can't help it."
The makeup artist nodded, as she continued contouring
Alone's nose.

Twenty minutes later, she was done and Alone smiled as

she looked at the mirror. Her hair, makeup, nails and
everything. It was almost time to leave.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. O montle."(you're pretty)
"Thank you."

Alone walked out of the hotel room, levaing her cousins

in there as she walked to Tebogo's room.

The makeup artist doing Tebogo's face was done and

Alone smiled. She was so beautiful.
Tebogo turned and went to hug her cousin.
"O montle jang."(you're so pretty)
The makeup artist walked out. Alone broke the hug.
"Tebogo, about what you said this week…"

Tebogo's smile faded.

"I'm just telling you in advance that you just have one
more chance. The third time you try anything remotely
like the last two times, you're out."

Tebogo swallowed. Alone was so serious.

"Okay."
Alone hugged her.
"See you at the church. O montle and you're going to
enjoy your day."

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~65~

The church ceremony had gone so beautifully and the

wedding pictures taken were gorgeous. It was time for
the reception and it was starting at five pm. Alone had
changed her dress and shoes as she got ready for it.
Shawn had been a sweetheart and she was going to
introduce him to the family in a few minutes from now.
She had made sure her things were in his car because
after the wedding they were heading straight home.

He held her waist as they headed to the reception.

"You're precious." He kissed the top of her head and she
grinned. He was holding her handbag and she took out
her phone to sneak in a little picture of him.

When they got there, she smiled as she took her seat
next to him. She was surprised that Tebogo had made
sure she sits next to her plus one. That
was…unexpected.

People looked at them and Shawn's hand was on her

thigh. He always had to be touching her somehow and it
was a bit cute how clingy he was. They were served
champagne and she opted for juice. Speeches were
made and she also had to make one about the bride.

She got to the top table with a smile.

"There is a lot to say, if I had to say it all, we'd all be
stuck here."

There was laughter and she smiled.

"To my favourite cousin, all the best in this new journey
of marriage and soon to be mother. I know aunt Meme
woild be proud of everything you've done to achieve.
Career wise and family wise."

Alone raised her glass of juice.

"To the bride and groom everyone."

Everyone cheered and she walked down to go sit next to

Shawn.
He lowered his head to whisper in her ear.
"And you have a big family."
She looked at him. She hoped he'd feel at home with
her family. She rubbed his hand.
"And they'll love you." Knowing that his parents were
both orphans and then they both died leavjng him with
only his brother as family. He never said anything but
she wanted him to have that big family. Be at family
gatherings with her, work with the rest of the men skin
cows and stuff. She pecked her lips, he had that gap
and she wanted to fill it. Kids and family. She could tell
he always used work to keep busy.
"If you say so." He whispered back and she smiled.

Some people around their table looked at them, they

were a beautiful couple but their attention then wavered
to the marrying couple. That day had been such a
beautiful day.
Ed Sheeran's Thinking Out Loud played and that was
the cue needed for the newlyweds to open the
dancefloor.

Mofenyi smiled at his wife, taking her hand and Tebogo

blushed as she got up. He led her to the dance floor, the
lights dimming and the main spotlight just on the two of
them. He murmured something in her ear and she
smiled looking into his eyes as he held her back and she
placed both hands on his shoulders.
"I love you." Mofenyi looked into his wife's eyes and she
whispered those sweet nothings in his ear. Cameras
flashed as they swayed on the dance floor. Alone
bopped her head, enjoying the display of love. She
loved love. It was such a beautiful concept to have
someone to hold your hand through it all. To love all your
flaws and imperfections and still think you were the most
perfecr being on earth. Their vows had made her shed a
few tears earlier. She turned her head to look at Shawn
who was lookibg at her.

The song ended and the whole crowd broke into an

applause for the couple as rose petals fell on the couple.
It was so beautiful. She blinked back the tears, not
wanting to ruin her makeup.
Ed Sheeran's Perfect played softly as other couples
finally got to the dancefloor. She had moved closer to
Shawn, her head on his shoulder.
"I think that song was written about us."
She hummed. They were basically kids with feelings
bigger than them.
"And now we're here." They watched other couples
dance before the sj played party and lively music.

She got up and took his hand.

"Let me introduce you formally to my mother."

Shawn held her hand tight as she led him to her mother.

Mma Alone stopped talking to one of Alone's uncles as

Alone approached them.
"Hi mama, malome."
She didn't let Shawn's hand and she looked at them.
"Mama and malome,here is my-uhm boyfriend…"
It felt awkward saying boyfriend at her big age.
"Boyfriend Shawn Kgotla. Shawn, here is my mom and
uncle."
Shawn let go of her hand as Alone's uncle shook his
hand.
"Ke wena wa Paris?"
Shawn chuckled and Alone looked at her nails as if they
were the most interesting thing ever. Mma Alone smiled.
"Ee rra." The uncle laughed and Mma Alone greeted
Shawn who greeted her so respectfully that her actions
from years ago made her feel so embarssed. Her uncle
swayed Shawn away and she was left with her mother.
"You look happier and I'm so sorry ngwanaka."
Alone nodded. She could see the sincerity in her
mother's eyes but they talked about the mundane
things. Her eyes followed Shawn as more of her family
talked with him and her uncle. She wanted him to feel so
at home. Her family was his and vice versa. She smiled.
Mma Alone's eyes followed Alone's eyes.
"I want him to feel at home mama."
Mma Alone looked at Alone.
"Growing up his only family was his brother and he didn't
have any extended family like us."
That was so considerate of Alone. Mma Alone thought.

It was more than ten minutes later when Shawn joined

Alone again.
"And?"
"I like your uncles. Well they threatened me here and
there."
She laughed kissing him and noticed some eyes on her.
He held her waist.

The dj played Beyoncè's Cuff It. One of the bridesmaids

came to her.
"Hi, can I steal her for a minute."
"Sure."

Alone was led to the dancefloor and they even roped a

pregnant bride? She laughed.

"Nnang sentle bathong."(tand properly guys)

One of Alone's younger cousins screamed as they sat in
three rows.

"I don't even know how to dance." Tebogo half

whispered.
"You'll learn."

Shawn watched as he took his phone out to take a

video.

"Part ya teng ya tsena." Alone's older cousin said.

"Okay, one two three go.."

They did the cuff it dance in unison as people cheered

and cameras flashed.

They laughed when they finished the dance and Alone

hugged Tebogo.
"So happy for you." She grinned.
"Thank you and I love you."
"Love you too."

The dj remixed it into America Has A Problem.

Alone was pulled away from Tebogo.

"I'm wearing a dress." Alone chastised her cousin.
"We're all wearing dresses besides ne re sena step."

She rolled her eyes as she joined them in doing the

dance while giggling.
.
.
.
A MONTH LATER
𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~66~

A month later…

Alone sta through a three hour meeting followed by a

two hour meeting. More money, more responsibility. Her
boyfriend? He was in Maun but he had said he'll be back
in time to go see ger uncles. About the baby and
discussions. She sighed as she leaned in the chair, her
loose blouse hiding the growing baby bump as she
chewed on a mint sweet.

She raised her hand.

"Sorry, can you repeat that point again?"
She started noting it down as it was repeated again.
"I have a question though but continue." She opened the
water bottle, a sigh leaving her lips as a headache
started but she ignored it.

***

Lorato sat in front of her laptop using her knowledge

from university to type out her CV. If that didn't work, she
can start farming. She didn't have a piece of land but
she had applied for land years back so she was hoping
she was on the group that would be next. Her Facebook
popped up with a notification and she opened it, her ex-
boyfriend posted something. She saw pictures of him
with some girl and she licked her dry lips. Tears faded
her vision and she sucked in a deep breath trying to be
calm but he moved on? Just like that?

She sacrificed everything to stay with him. Of course

she had her crazy moments but him just moving on like
that?

She wiped away her tears. She looked at the pictures

and they looked so happy. Her lips trembled as she
pushed the phone back. The sense of loss washed over
her again as she closed her eyes, letting the tears roll
down her cheeks.

Her phone rang and she sniffed. She picked up the call.
"Hello."
"Hello, Lorato. Why are you ignoring me?"

She didn't mean to burst into tears but she did.

"Where are you?" Her mother asked, her heart breaking
at hearing Lorato's touching tears.
Lorato cried more. She failed. She ruined her own
marriage with a perfectly good man, she chased love
and was greedy for money. There had been nothing
wrong with Shawn. She would also divorce if she'd
found out her partner cheated.

She wailed.
"Lorato, where are you?"
Her mother asked again and Lorato cut the call. Her ex-
boyfriend didn't even mourn the loss of their child with
her. Did he even love her? She was such a failure. A
failure and so so stupid.

She hugged herself in that single bed of hers in her one

room. She couldn't stop the tears. She couldn't stop
crying.

***

At Maun

Shawn wore a hat as he walked to his farm alongside

the herdsman. It's been over a year since he came here
and from the daily updates it was doing good. Kagiso
caught up to them alongside Fiona's uncle.
"Shawn.."
He stopped in his tracks, already picking out which cows
to select for Lolo's bogadi.
Kagiso stood next to Shawn.
"Have you decided on how many?"
"Twenty."
Fiona's uncles' eyes widened. Did he know how much
twenty cows were? Okay he had to admit that the boy
had s good thing going but twenty? For his last bride,
they had paid ten and that had been a lot on it's own.
The marriage didn't last not that he blamed Shawn.
They never liked that Lorato girl from the beginning but
they were honouring Shawn's wishes and they didn't
even want a meeting with her vile family after Kagiso
told them what they said to Shawn. They were better far
off away from their boy.
"O sure?"(are you sure?)
"Yes. Twenty will do."
"So we're transporting twenty cows from Maun to
Tsamaya?"
Shawn nodded.
"Ng. We'll have to deal with the logistics later today but
yes."

Kagiso slid his hands in his pocket.

"Ke kgang ya mpa le magadi akere?"(it's the pregnancy
and bride price right?)
Shawn nodded.
"Then next week ke kgoroso." He agreed. This Saturday
he'd be a step closer to marrying his woman and he
couldn't wait. He'd cover for everything, of course with
everything it was going to leave a dent in his bank
account but he'll recover and when they have reached
the stability he wants, hell she can have half his salary
as her wife allowance. He won't mind giving her his bank
cards to keep.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and he took it out. She

was calling.
"Hello angel."
"Hi, I was just checking up on you."
He pushed his dimming glasses back
"I miss you too Lolo. It's not a crime to say that, you
know."
"When will you be back?"
"Thursday if not Friday."

He heard her sigh.

"And it's Monday today."
"I'll call you later okay? Don't overwork yourself, make
sure you eat and I'll call. Ke a go rata autwe Mma
Kgotla?"(I love you okay Mrs Kgotla?)
"Okay. I love you more. Bye."

She cut the call with a dejected tone and he pocketed

his phone.
"Saturday re tla ya go go tseela ngwetsi Shawn. Let this
marriage last please."(Saturday we are grtting your
bride)

He chuckled.
"It will. I swear to God."

They looked at the cows and he sighed, at peace with

himself.

***

That evening, Alone placed laptop bag on the sofa

before she sat down. She removed her heels. Shawn
told her to stop wearing them because they left her feet
all sore but most of her outfits matched so well with her
heels. She removed them and looked at her swollen
feet. She breathed out and she started crying. She cried
out loud with mucus and all before she stopped. The
house was so empty and lonely. She didn't want to sleep
alone. She started crying again, bringing her hands to
her face.
Minutes later, she got up from the couch and walked to
the bedroom. She started undressing before she
headed to the shower. When she was all clean, she sat
on the bed thinking. Tebogo had wanted her to go out for
dinner with her but she had said no because work. She
was tired from the meetings b-

She heard her phone ring in the lounge and she slid her
feet in her sleepers before she walked to the lounge.
She took out her phone and Shawn'd name flashed. She
smiled answering.

"Hey babe."
"Hey, I got a little busy. Hoe was your day?"
"I just arrived."
"Did you eat?"
"I had something on my way back home. I'm good."
"Okay, as long as you're good, then I'm good."

She listened to him talk and she told him about her
plans for theit new house. She chose the plan and she
was already looking for floor tiles for every single room.
It was something she enjoyed and she just couldn't wait
for her day off this week so she can sleep in.
"I love you okay?"
"Okay."
"I have to go angel. Bye."
"Bye."

He cut rhe call and she sighed. She walked back to the
bedroom. Hmmm…

***

Tebogo closer her eyes, rubbing her baby bump. She

was almost due and had taken time off work to wait for
the arrival of her son.

She was so excited, the baby's room was ready but she
had to to Tsamaya for botsetsi and that was the
downside of it. Mofenyi would have to travel long
distances to see them. Speaking of Mofenyi…

She tried his phone but it wasn't going through. It wasn't

like him to arrive home late. He usually told her if he was
going to b-

She froze, feeling her abdomen squeeze in pain. F*ck!

"Ssss…ah."
Another squeeze and she closed her eyes, the pain
rendering her immobile.

She swallowed. These were thr contractions. She

rubbed the side of her tummy trying to ease the pain and
it only got worse.

She picked her phone from her side and called her
husband.
"The number you've dialled is unava-"

She cut the call as her head dropped in pain and a pitiful
scream left her lips. She tried his number but it wasn't
going through too.

She tried Alone's number. It rang for a while as she

screamed. She forced herself to get up from the couch
and pick the car keys, stopping and holding her knees
as a sharp one hit her below the tummy.
"Hello?"
"L-lo….aah!"
"Tebogo? Are you okay?"
"I'm-aaahh-contractions."
"Where are you?" Lolo asked in a panicked voice and
you coukd hear rustling from her side.
"I'm hoooomee!" Tebogo screamed, the car keys falling
to the floor.
"I'm coming. Breath in and out, take out the baby bags
okay? I'll be there."
"Okay."

The call cut.

***

Alone dropped the gown as she wore the dress that was
closest and she slid her feet into the sleepers. She
literally ran out of her bedroom and got the car keys and
handbag. Men were useless. She tried calling Tebogo's
husband but it didn't go through. Men were so useless.
Her man wasn't here and he left her all alone and her
cousin's man was not answering his phone. So useless.

She got out of the house and locked the door before
rushing to the car. She pressed the gate remote as the
gate slid open. She started the car and took her time to
breath. She checked her handbag for an asthma pump
and she used it.

She calmed down and reversed.

***

On the road, Alone sped a bit up. What if Tebogo loses

the baby? She blinked as a car came onto her, the lights
of the car blinding. He was on the wrong f*cking lane
and she tried to swerve as it came directly at her.
"Oh God!" She screamed in her car still not letting go of
the steering wheel.

***

Fiona who was scrolling on Facebook laughing at

memes while KJ was asleep, frowned when she scrolled
past an accident scene reported. She scrolled back and
clicked on the post. She read the article and paused at
the car model. A BMW X5? Sh-No!

She went back to the pictures she took with Lolo last
week by her car after their little lunch. She drove an x5.
She went back to the article and the plate numbers were
blurred but that was an x5. No one was identified as of
yet. Her heart started racing as she jumped off the
couch and tried to call Alone. Her phone wasn't going
through.
She wemt back to the article and she took screenshots
and immediately sent them to Shawn. It didn't take long
for Shawn to call.
"Fiona, tell me this isn't-"
"It's an ongoing story..her phone isn't going through..
what if Lolo is-"
The call cut and she rubbed her eyes. Dead? She can't
be right?

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~67~

At Maun, Shawn's lungs nearly failed him as he read the

article. That can't be his woman. He had cut off Fiona's
call and tried calling Alone's phone but it wasn't going
through. He got up to make a few calls, he had to leave
Maun immediately.

Kagiso watched Shawn pace up and down, his own

heart breaking for his little brother. Nothing had been
confirmed yet and it was just….Hearsay at this moment.
He closed his eyes for a minute before he called Fiona.
Fiona answered immediately.

"Any news?"
"Fifi are you sure?"
"I just saw the post and I freaked out because Alone
drives an X5."
Kagiso rubbed his bearded jaw that was slowly starting
to have streaks of grey hair.
"Let's wait for confirmation from the police. Shawn is
panicking right now."
"Okay." Her reply was soft.
"And I'll keep trying to call Alone here."
"Alright."
"Breath, let's have hope." Kagiso reassured her.

One minute they were planning magadi and the next

they were here, praying that Alone was alive and well.

"Hello? Kgotla here, I need a favour."

He listened for a few seconds.

"Check the accident scene for me and the plate number
as well as the people involved. Please.."
He nodded.
"Thanks." He was trying his best to keep his voice as
even as possible. He closed his eyes for a few seconds,
the tears threatening to escape his closed eyes. He
should have hope. His woman and baby were well alive.
And healthy. Maybe at home. Maybe she was just
sleeping. Right?

A sharp pain stabbed at his heart and he placed a hand

over his chest, wincing. He was hoping for the best. It
took him a few minutes to recover from that sharp pain
but when he did, he had no choice but to call his boss.

The phone rang for a minute before it was answered.

"Hello?"
"Lucas, hi…is it possible to send the company jet?"
"Company jet? Now?"
"It's an emergency, I need to go back ASAP."

Lucas yawned on the other side.

"Okay. Maun right?"
"Yes."
"The jet will take too long, let me talk to someone to get
the helicopter ready on that side."
"Thank you."

He cut the call. He placed his fisted hand over his

mouth, trying to call Alone's phone once again.
***

Alone drove slowly past the accident scene. Why did

that car look like hers? Her heart started pounding in her
chest, it had been a close call earlier and it probably
would be here if she hadn't swerved last minute. People
drive recklessly and it was only Monday night. She
looked at her phone. The battery died and she just kept
driving, more vigilant on the road.

***

Tebogo forced deep breaths but an agonising scream

tore through her lips as she held onto the sofa for
steadiness. She closed her eyes, gasping and groaning
in pain.

She picked up her phone to try and call Mofenyi but

there was a car hooting outside. She closed her eyes
and tried to find ber own keys to open the gate. She
nearly fell to her knees but the couch was a much
needed relief as she picked the keys and pressed.

She closed her eyes. Breathing in and out. In and out.

Alone drove her car and she didn't wait to part it so she
can start it, she stopped and jumped out of the car.
"Please let her be alright."

She prayed heading to the house. She knocked on the

door and opened it. She found Tebogo on the couch and
in pain.
"Hii…where are the baby bags?"
She asked and Tebogo looked at the opposite couch.
Alone got the bags and Tebogo's handbag walking out.

Tebogo placed her hands over her stomach. Alone

quickly came back to help her, she took Tebogo's phone
from her hands.
"Breath in amd out. You can do this."
Alone encouraged as she also breathed in and out for
Tebogo to follow suit. She helped Tebogo sit at the
backseat and closed the door. She used Tebogo's
phone to call the hospital.
"Hello?"

She walked towards the house to get the keys and lock
it. She half ran to the car.
"You're speaking to Alone Puso. I'm about to arrive with
a woman in labour."
She listened biting her lip.
"Ee mma. In twenty minutes. Tanki."
She cut the call and got inside the car.
"Tebogo it's going to be alright."
"B-be fassst!"
Alone rolled her eyes.
"I didn't make you pregnant Tebogo, don't raise your
voice at me."

She reversed her car. She was internally panicking and

Tebogo's gut wrenching screams got to her. That was
scary!

Tebogo closed her eyes and she felt her dress get wet
as the contractions intensified.
"M-my water just broke." Tebogo whispered with a
broken voice.
"Sh*t." Alone stepped on the accelerator on that cold
night.

***

Shawn was already on the helicopter with his suitcase

haphazardly packed. He tried Alone's phone one more
time fighting tears.
It still didn't go through.

He looked at the stars, the sky dark and his own heart
slowly breaking.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~68~

At the hospital

Alone watched as Tebogo was pushed to the labour

ward. She sat on the bench with her face in her hands.
That was a close call. She breathed in and out, the
adrenaline from the past two hours catching up to her
and leaving her so drained. Her head ached more and
tears filled her eyes.

One of the nurses approached her.

"Ms? O sharpo?"(are you fine?)

She lifted her head and nodded. She didn't even know
what time it was.
"You seem tired. It's almost midnight." She yawned.
Midnight and Mofenyi wasn't here? What a nonsensical
man or maybe she was judging him too harshly.
"I'll be back." She yawned into her hand and stood up,
stretching her body still in sleepers and that long dress.
She didn't even bring a jacket and winter was fast
approaching. It must be so cold outside. She walked
outside and the wind blew past her leaving goosebumps
on her skin and her hair blowing in that direction. She
shivered and brought her hands up to rub her arms. She
walked to the car and got inside. She needed to distract
herself and she might have a jacket somewhere in the
back. She switched on the car lights and looked at the
back. Oh. It was wet. Great.

She sighed and started the car, switching on the air

conditioning and finally charging her phone. She had
nothing better to do and her stomach grumbled.
"I'll eat. Hospital food is terrible but I'll eat baby. I swear."
She whispered more to herself and leaned back. She'll
wait and go check the situation minutes later.

Tebogo's phone rang and she picked it up seeing the

caller ID.
"Tebogo's phone hello?c
"Hello. Where is Tebogo?"
Alone chuckled.
"How do you not answer a pregnant woman? She's in
labour."
"L-labout?" He stuttered and she rolled her eyes more.
"Yes labour." She told him the hospital they were at and
cut the call.

She checked her own phone. It wasn't even in three

percent.

***

Shawn had the cab man drop him off at their house and
he pressed the remote. The gate opened. He was about
to smile seeing the lights on but her car was gone. He
paid and got out with his things. Now that he was here,
he can ask the relevant authorities questions. He pulled
his suitcase to the house and unlocked the door. He
looked at everything and he left it in the lounge as he
headed to the bedroom.

"Lolo?" There was no reply. He tried calling her again

but same thing.

He got his car keys from the table and he walked out of
the house, locking it while unlocking his car. He quickly
walked to his car and jumped in.
"Please be okay."

***

Alone checked her phone. Finally some percentage.

She put in her passcode and it opened, loading
everything.

She hummed as she made the car more warmer and

her stomach grumbled more. She frowned. What
happened? Why the million missed calls?

She called Shawn first.

***

In the car, Shawn's phone rang and he looked at the

caller ID. He drove off the road and stopped the car, his
own heart beating at an abnormal rhythm.

"Hello."
"Babe, what is it?" Her soft voice brought relief to his
already alert body. He heaved in a heavy sigh. F*ck!
"Shawn? Baby? Ke eng?"(what is it?)
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine and just hungry. You sound so worried. Is
everything okay?"
"You're okay? You're not at the hospital, you're safe?"
"I'm okay but I am at the hospital."
"Why? Which one? Why didn't you call me?"
There was a bout of silence.
"Shawn you didn't tell me what's wrong. I missed calls
from almost everyone…including mama. I should call
her. What's going on? Did someone post my nudes?"
He laughed despite his initial panic.
"Mxm, I'm the only who has accesss to those."
"You never know kana."
"Which hospital? I'll be there."
She told him the name."And bring food. You'll find me in
the parking lot."
"Okay angel. I love you autwe?"
"I love you Mr Kgotla. Waiit. You're in Gaborone?
Shawn? When? How?"
"I'll explain when I see you."

He didn't cut the call, he heard her breathing softly

against the phone. A reminder that was she was okay.
His woman and child were perfectly fine. He closed his
eyes placing his head on the steering wheel.
He started his car and joined the road.

***

Alone cut the call and she called her mother.

"Mama, hello?"
She didn't even expect her mother to answer at this
witch hour.
"Lolo? You're okay."
"Yes.." She got more confused. Did everyone call to
make sure she was okay?
"What's wrong? Mama wa lela?"(are you crying?)
"No…where are you?"
"With Tebogo at the hospital.."
"Is something wrong?"
"No. Nothing is wrong." It wasn't her place to let the
whole family know Tebogo is in labour when said
Tebogo hasn't rold them.
"I'm okay…what's going on?"
"There was a post…your car was in an accident and-"
Her mother sniffed more and it click. That accident
scene she passed. They all thought it was her. Flip.
That's why Shawn was here…
"It's not me. I'm healthy and well mama. My car doesn't
even have a dent, your baby will be alive for many more
years."
"I can't lose you Alone. You're all I have."

She blinked back tears.

"I know. I'm okay mama. I swear. Get some sleep, I'll
video call in the morning. Me and the baby are fine.
There is nothing wrong okay mama?"
"Okay. If you need anything, just call."
"Ee mma. Goodnight."
"Goodnight my baby."

She cut the call and she rubbed her own teary eyes.
Everyone thought it was her and they were all worried.
She cried into her hands.

Inside the hospital, Mofenyi rushed to the reception to

talk to the nurse and ask about his wife. He closed his
eyes, he already felt like a bad father. His phone had
been off, his car had been hit from the back by a
reckless driver when he had been on his way home and
he had been at the police station since. He covered his
face.
Meanwhile, Shawn parked his car in the hospital parking
lot and he got out of the car. He looked at all cars
looking for hers and he spotted it. She was alive and
well. He walled towards it and he knocked on the
passenger seat window. She looked up from her phone
and she smiled. She let go of her phone and got out of
the car to go hug him.

She literally ran into his arms and he picked her up,
making her wrap her legs around his waist as he kissed
her head. His body was warm enough to warm hers.
"I love you woman!" She smiled, burying her head in the
croak of his neck as he held her.
"I was scared for a moment. The thought of doing life
without you was fucking scary. Something I don't want to
do ever again."
She nodded and lifted her head to kiss his lips. He let
her down.
"Lock the car." She got her phone and she locked her
car. He took her hand and led her to where he parked
his. He opened the door for her before he walked over to
the driver's seat.

When they were all settled. Alone charged her phone

and she got the food, opening the paper bags.
"Thank you and I'm so sorry for scaring you."
He pulled her to him, making her sit on his lap.
"I had to rush Tebogo to the hospital. She was in labour
and her husband wasn't answering the phone. The car
involved in the accident is not mine."
"I know that now." His stubbled grazed her cheek, his
deep voice a subtle reminder of his sex appeal.

He kissed her lips..once. twice before he held her face in

his big hands to kiss her thoroughly. She pushed herself
closer to him, her hands slipping under his t-shirt.
He broke the kiss.
"Eat first." She nodded.
"Then we can go back and see how Tebogo is. I'm so
worried."

She thought about Tebogo's screams and it made her

fear for her own life. Will she really have a second child
after their first born? Now that she had seen first hand,
she was already changing her mind.

Shawn rubbed her thigh as she started eating. She was

beautiful. He loved her. And he won't stop loving her.

An hour later, the two were by the labour ward as

Mofenyi sat in one of the benches. They greeted him
and Alone asked for updates.
"There are no updates." He notified her. He himself was
getting worried.

The doctor came out and Mofenyi quickly stood up.

"Uhm, can we speak for a moment?"

She said to Mofenyi. He followed her and Shawn who

had made Alone wear his jacket looked at her.

Mofenyi stold by the corner with the doctor.

"We are met with a few complications and she needs to
go through an emergency c-section."
He nodded. His eyes showing fear.
"You have to sign a few papers and in the case of being
able to save one of them during the operation. Who do
we save? Your wife or the child?"

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~69~

At the hospital
Alone and Shawn watched Mofenyi walk away with rhe
doctor and she leaned into him as he held her with a
single arm.
"I'm so scared for her."
"She'll be fine. Have hope."

Alone breathed out. She should probably ask Mofenyi

what the doctor just said. If she's okay and all. She
closed her eyes. She hoped they were both okay, she
just lost her aunt recently so she can't lose Tebogo too.

In the doctor's office, Mofenyi signed the documents and

the doctor looked at him.
"Are you sure of your decision?"
He looked at the documents that had his signature and
nodded.
"Okay. Thank you and we'll update you."
Not knowing how to feel in this situation he was in, he
walked out of the office. The weight in his heart heavy.
He closed his eyes by the closed office door, a lone tear
rolled down his cheek and he quickly wiped it away,
truing to stay strong for both Tebogo and his child. He
rubbed his chest, a subtle ache making it's way in the
deep recesses of his heart springing more tears back to
life in his sorrowful eyes. He sniffed. It started as one but
it turned into more till he was full on crying. Fighting
aggressively with the wiping away the evidence of his
heartbreak and the decision he just made.

By the time Mofenyi got a grip over himself, his eyes

were all puffy and his nose congested. He used his shirt
sleeves to wipe his face one more time. Hoping that
they'd ignore it and not ask questions.

He straightened up and walked to where he left Alone

and Shawn.

Alone paced anxiously on the floor they were in. Her

mind was already making up worst case scenarios and
she paused to look at Mofenyi who sat next to Shawn.
He looked dejected and like he was crying? F*ck! This
was bad.

She walked over to him and sucked in a breath before

she asked.
"Is she okay? Will she be fine?"
Mofenyi lifted his eyes to her and Alone saw sorrows. It
was all too sad and she didn't want to cry. Not now when
she needed Tebogo to be okay. They just celebrated her
wedding last month. A baby an-
"She is going to be operated on."
Alone brought her hands to her face, holding back tears.
It was that bad. Had she come earlier. Had she not
made her wait. Or better yet had Mofenyi come earlier.
"You should have come when she called."

She half whispered and he nodded.

"I know. I was at the police station, if not for that I would
have been here."

Shawn looked at both of them. The situation was here

and it was no time for the blame game to be happening
right now. He got up and held Lolo.
"Let's hope for the best. Breath."
Alone looked at him with unshed tears.
"She's my cousin. She can't d-"
"She won't. Don't overthink this."
He rubbed the tears that rolled down her cheeks before
he kissed her forehead.
"Stress is also not good for our child. Breath angel, she'll
pull through and we still have to wait for the doctors
okay?"

She nodded and hugged him. Mofenyi watched through

red rimmed eyes. His won wife under the knife and her
chances of surviving with the baby very low. Tears rolled
down his own cheeks amd he looked down, forcing deep
breaths so he doesn't cry in front of them.

***

Almost three hours later, the doctor walked out and

Alone who had been dosing on Shawn's shoulder woke
up. She rubbed her eyes and yawned softly on Shawn's
shoulder. He squeezed her hand and she smiled,
remembering where they were.

Mofenyi got up and walked up to rhe doctor, he couldn't

read the doctor so he had to wait. Alone got up and
waited. She was not Tebogo's immediate next of kin so
she should wait.
Shawn rubbed her hand and squeezed. She smiled
tightly at him before her eyes focused on Mofenyi and
the doctor.

Mofenyi rubbed his eyes.

"Well…"
His own heart would drop and break into pieces if the
news was bad. He didn't move his eyes away from thw
doctor.
"We did our absolute best…" Mofenyi's breath caught in
his throat.
"The mother's situation was a dire one but we managed
to save both mother and child."

Fresh air. He could finally breath. They were okay. They

were alive. Both of them.
"The baby is healthy and mother will be recuperating."
He nodded.
"And congratulations, it's a boy."
He nodded emotionally as he was asked to follow the
doctor.

He did.

Alone watched.
"We'll wait."

Mofenyi came back ten minutes later with a calmer

heart. He smiled at Alone.
"They are both fine."
Alone let out the breath she didn't know she was
holding.
"And it'd a boy."
"Congratulations!" Her voice full of relief.
"Is she awake?"
He shook his head.
"Congratulations man." Shawn said and Mofenyi
thanked him as he sat on the bench and covered his
face.

Shawn looked down at Lolo.

"I thinl we should go. You need rest and we'll check in
later today."
She wanted to say no but she yawned at thay exact
moment.
"Alright." She smiled at Mofenyi.
"I'll be back later today."
He nodded.
"Alone, thank you so much for bringing her here when I
couldn't. Thank you."
"Amd I'd do it again." She held Shawn's hand as they
walked away together.

***

A few hours later that morning

Alone woke up first but Shawn pulled her to him.

"You barely slept angel. Rest." He murmured in that
deep voice of his and she sighed closing her eyes.
"Okay."

He kissed her head, still keeping her to him.

Around midday, Alone woke up for the second time and

the bed was empty. She rubbed her eyes and sat
upright. She should look for her phone and call the office
to tell them shr won't be showing up that day and
apologise too.

The bedroom door opened and she smiled as he walled

towards her in only pyjama pants.
"Hey.."
She stretched and yawned.
"Hey there."
Shawn watched her look for her phone. He wasn't going
back to Maun but he'll meet the rest of the family in
Francistown on Friday so that preparations are
underway. If everything goes according to plan, next
week will be kgoroso and he'll finally call this woman his.
His wife. His everything.

Alone called her boss as she rubbed her eyes again.

"Hello.."
She listened as she got a lecture from her boss and just
agreed.
"Ee mma." She apologised for not showing up and
summarised it into an emergency that delayed her. The
call cut and she smiled at him.
"I still can't believe you're here."
"Neither can I…come, let's eat."

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~70~

At the hospital

Mofenyi sat on the chair as his wife stirred awake. He

smiled at her for the umpteenth time and Tebogo smiled
at him. He had apologised a lot in the first hour of her
waking up but now they were just enjoying having their
son with them.
"L-lolo o kae?"(where is Lolo?)
She asked him as he held his boy in his arms. Knowing
her aunts, she will be in confinement back in Tsamaya
so she was just basking in this little freedome even if it is
within the gour walls of a hospital room.
"She said she'll come here."
Tebogo nodded. Her system was still a mess but she
wanted to genuinely thank her cousin for bringing her
here. If it wasn't for her….

She didn't know. A soft door knock had hee looking at

the door.
"Come in."

The door opened and she smiled seeing Alone stick her
head in.
"Hey. Is it safe to come in?"
She nodded. She still wasn't moving from the angle she
had been sleeping in. Hopefully her aunts will help with
the C-section scar and taking care of it. She closed her
eyes in pain, the medicines starting to wear off. Well this
was a shitty situation to be in.

Alone said hi to Mofenyi and her heart melted at the

baby he held. Her eyes glazed over with tears. It was so
cute. Sje turned to her cousin.
"Congratulations Tebogo, who knee you'd be a mother?"
Tebogo wanted to laugh but pain stopped her from doing
that and she just nodded.
"Thank you. Thank you so much."
"Anytime. As long as you and the little guy are safe, it's
all good. How are you feeling?"
"It's not nice." Alone fixed her pillows and sighed. She
was starting to be scared for her own child's birth.
"I'm sorry."
"M-my phone."
"Oh. Sorry about that."

Alone took it out of her bag amd handed it to Tebogo.

"Can I hold him?"
Tebogo nodded as she dialled her older aunt's number.

Alone stood next to Mofenyi with a blinding smile. Her

perfume this time was subtle. Mofenyi noticed and he
also noticed her baby bump in that tight dress she wore.
He looked at her.
"Thank you Alone."
She waved them off.
"You guys are family. Can I hold him?"
"Do you know how to hold babies?"
She chuckled.
"Of course I do." Fiona taught her and urg KJ has got to
be her favourite family member in the Kgotla household.

Mofenyi handed the baby to her and she cooed at him.

He was so tiny and breakable.
"What's his name?"
"Amolemo."
"Hey baby Amo." Alone softened her voice further as
she held him.

Tebogo smiled as she talked to her aunt. They said

they'd pick her up themselves and they'd be there in a
week. When the ca cut, she gave her aunt permission to
tell everyone at home about Amolemo's birth.

She placed the phone down as Alone walked towards

her with the baby. She handed Tebogo the baby.
"He's still a few hours old so I'm expexting him to look
better in a few days."
Tebogo hated that she couldn't laugh.
"O tla swaba Alone."
Alone laughed watching Tebogo take out her boob to
feed Amolemo.
"You're his godmother and aunt."
"And I'm honoured to be such. Congratulations motho
wame and I'll pass by maitseboa. Let me go okay?"
"Okay."

She waved at them as she walked to the door. She got

out at the couple looked at the nursing baby.
Outside, Alone took her boyfriend's hand.
"I saw them and they look so happy. The baby is healthy
too. We can go."

Shawn who had spent the last few minutes assuring his
brother and sister-in-law that Alone is fine nodded as
they walked out of the hospital. In less than six months
their baby would be here and it was all exciting. Their
hoise wouldn't be finished by then but maybe once their
baby was a year or so, it will be done and they'd be
moving in into their new home. As a married couple.

***

Lorato walked in the eatery, she wasn't supposed to be

eating expensive things like this but it felt like a little
reward for all she's been through. She walked in further
and sat at a cozy corner that had some low lighting.

She took out her phone and started pressing it, scrolling
through Facebook job posts. She was now determined
to do this life thing even if she was alone and lost
everything dear to her. She raised her eyes and a frown
covered her face.
That was Shawn right? She blinked a couple of times,
not believing he was with that girl he introduced at the
wedding they were invited to. Alone.

Her eyes scanned Alone and it wasn't hard to miss the

baby bump. She swallowed. If that was a baby bump
that meant they had been seeing each other during their
marriage.

Her throat dried up as Shawn kissed her head and she

giggled. She had been so nice at the wedding and-

They didn't notice her as they sat at a corner next to

hers. She could hear Shawn's deep voice and her soft
voice meshing together. She licked her dry lips. Was she
the one with red lipstick that Owame found? She was
sleeping with a married man and she had the guts to be
nice to his wife? And if he had cheated while she and
Shawn were married, did she think he'd be faithful?

She paused. The initials on Shawn's finger starting to

make sense. AP.
Alone Puso. That was her name. She was the girl she
was unknowingly competing with. Shawn had never fully
let her in because Alone was in his heart. Her memory
took her to the wedding day. She had brushed off the
tattoo with a birthdau on it. Now that she thought of it,
that was Shawn's birthday.
She was just finding things out post-both relationships
and it made her stomach roll and tears prick at her eyes.

It wasn't her intention to stand up and go to their table

but her legs had a mind of it's own as it took her to them.

Alone was looking at her phone while Shawn's hand

was on her thigh. She had fully accepted that that man's
love language was phsyical touch. He had to be
touching her someway, whether it be her hand, her
thigh, her arm. Just some part of her had to be touched.

Lorato stood in front of them and swallowed. Even

before she was with her boyfriend, he was never this
lovestruck with her. Of course she knew that he brought
it down between the sheets. More of a gentleman in
public and freak between the sheets kind.

She swallowed and Shawn looked at Lorato. This was

a…surprise.
"Babe bona g-" Lolo's words died in her mouth as she
lifted her head to look at the woman by their space.
Lorato. Oh. She looked at Shawn who rubbed her thigh.
"Hi Lorato."
"So all this time? At the wedding you had me talk to your
side chick?"
Alone got up.
"Let me go to the restroom. I'll be back." She didn't want
to deal with this. Shawn had been the cheater not her,
whu was she in it?

She walked away and Lorato's eyes folllwed her. Her

bump, her behind making her all angry that Alkne was
pregnant and she wasn't.
"Lorato, we have nothing to talk about..why are you
disturbing my peace?"

She scoffed holding back her tears.

"You let me believe your side chick was your friend. You
made me a fool.."
"We made each other fools Lorato. The marriage is
over."

His face steeled and she sat opposite him.

"Did you ever love me?"
"Lorato do you know there are many different ways you
can kill the one you love? Of course I could never love
you like I do her but there had been love in the
beginning but it died slowly. You did that."

She shook her head. It was the truth but right at this
moment she didn't want ro believe it.
"Do you really want to know where I was November
thirtieth?"
He chuckled.
"Do I really have to tell you how she brought me back to
life?"

Lorato's heart broke further, her tears rolling down her

cheeks. It seems like there had been a lot of infidelity in
their untimely marriage. She sniffed.
"I hope she makes you happy. I hope you forgave me for
all I did, if I hadn't stepped out of our marriage and
deceived you we'd still be married."
Shawn doubted that but he nodded. His heart has
always been set on Lolo.

She stood up and walked away. Shawn breathed out.

In the restroom, Alone looked at her reflection in the

mirror as she fixed her hair and nearly jumped when she
saw Lorato's reflection starring back at her. She turned
her back.
"I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable when you were
trying to have lunch with your boyfriend." Lorato smiled
sadly.
"Did you know he was married? Of course you knew.
You were laughing with me like you weren't f*cking my
husband."
She chuckled.
"I hope he makes you happy and congratulations.."
She looked at Alone's tummy. She swallowed and
walked out.
.
𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~71~

Alone came to sit down next to Shawn.

"I saw Lorato in the bathroom and it was so awkward
gore."

He pulled her closer.

"I'm hoping that chapter is closed." Shawn breathed.
"Me too."
He kissed her lips and she sighed. He rubbed her arm,
time to build with this woman here.

***

At Alone's place, she placed her handbag on the table

as she removed her jacket as Shawn switched on the air
conditioning. Everyday felt like it was a dream, like he
came back to her. True love. That's what it was called.

Shawn picked her up as she giggled and held on.

"Don't think of bedding me."
He kissed her neck.
"You got me there. A shower and I'll make dinner for us."
"Three course?"
"You're overworking me but ee mma. Anything my
babies want they get."
"We are craving a new car…"
She closed the other eye, wanting to hear what he'd say
and he walked into the bedroom.
"Another BMW or another car brand?"
Her eyes widened. He was serious? She was only
kidding.
"I saw this cute Mercedes a few days ago."
He kissed her forehead.
"You'll show me the pictures and we'll work out how
you're paying me."

Her jaw dropped and she hit his chest lightly.

"I'm kidding, woman. I'll get you that Merc mma."
"I was kidding about the car."
He chuckled and kissed her lips, letting her slide down
his body.
"I wasn't. Show me the model, yeah?"
Her eyes shimmered with tears. She cried a lot lately
and frankly, she wasn't complaining. Not one bit.
"Okay."

He removed his t-shirt as she shimmied out of her dress.

She walked to the bathroom and he followed suit a
minute later. Laughter and giggles could be heard in the
bathroom.

***

At the hospital, Tebogo looked at Amolemo. He wasn't

the cutest because he was still a newborn but it was
normal so she was giving him a week. A tear dropped on
Amolemo's forehead and she quickly wiped it away.

"Your grandmother would have been excited to meet

you." Her voice cracked a bit as Amo sucked on her
breast for dear life. The door softly opened and she
looked up at Mofenyi.
"Heyy, I brought food."
"Thank you." He placed it by her bedside table and
looked at them. He almost lost both of them last night
and it was a miracle that they were both here. Alive and
well.
"Is there anything else you want?"
He asked. He'd be at her beck and call for whatever she
needed. He was not taking her or his family for granted.
"I'm good."
"How is the scar?"
Tebogo breathed out.
"My lower abdomen is so painful but that's the sacrifice
for motherhood right?"
He kissed her forehead.
"I'm so sorry I wasn't there when you went into labour. If
you had gotten here early, you might have not gone
through a c-section."
"It's okay. It'll heal." She looked up at him.
"I love you."
"I love you too."

She smiled. Her mother must be proud wherever she is.

***

Alone sat cross legged on the carpet as Shawn fed her

the spaghetti bolognese.
She placed a hand over her mouth to chew and digest
the flavours. His other hand was on her leg and she
smiled as he ate while feeding her. This was too good to
be true right?
He brought another forkful to her lips.

This was how her future was looking like. She bit off the
fork and chewed on that. He stood up on his feet as his
phone rang.

"Let me go get the phone okay?"

She watched him leave the lounge and she fed herself.
Content.

Shawn got to his phone and it was a conference call.

"Hello."
"Shawn? Are you serious?"
He rubbed his jaw.
"Like a heart attack."
"Mate, you get married every year now?"
"No…this one is my soulmate."
"So Lorato was a place holder?" One of his friends
asked.
"Something along those lines."
Some chuckled.
"Women probably hate you for that."
Shawn shrugged.
"Are you guys coming for the magadi ka Saturday?"
"We wouldn't miss it for the world."
"Okay. You'll find accommodation in Francistown and
Saturday morning we are driving to Tsamaya."
"Does the said lady know she is getting married?"
"And who is it? Shawn you're so secretive."
"You'll see her on Saturday. I have to go."

He cut the call and walked to his unpacked bags. He

took out the ring box and slid it in his pyjama pants
pockets. He walked back with his phone in hand. Alone
was almost done eating and she smiled at him. She has
been smiling too much lately.
"I'm a bit too full for dessert."
"It's okay. Let's dance."
"Now?"

He nodded. He connected his phone to the sound

system and placed it on the couch, taking her hand.
"You know we haven't danced like this before?"
"You never ask me to dance amd you might have two
left feet."
"I don't." He held her bulging waist as the song played
softly and they danced there in the living room. She
laughed at a joke he made while he kissed her face. He
spun her around and suddenly he wasn't holding her.

Alone turned to find him going on one knee and taking

out a ring box. No! He was proposing? She covered her
mouth witj her hands.

His eyes twinkled with the love he had for her.

"Keep your eyes on me angel."
Her lips trembled slightly. He shouldn't be pulling such
surprises on a pregnant lady. There was only so much
her sensitive heart could take.
"Alone Puso, would you do me the honours of being Mrs
Kgotla? For real this time. Do life together and navigate
our way through it? For better and worse?"
She nodded with tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Ke a go rata autwe? I won't ever tire of saying this to
you angel."
She nodded. Words failed her as she moved a step
closer to extend her hand.
"Is that a yes?"
She nodded.
"I need words darling."
"Ye-yess.." she croaked as he slid the perfectly
designed ring on her finger. The little diamonds
surrounding the perfectly cut solitaire diamond.
He got up to pick her and spin her around as she held
on tightly to him.
"To us." He looked at her and french kissed her. She
kissed him back, he slowly placed her down on the
couch without breaking the kiss.
She held his neck as he broke it.
"Forever?"
Forever isn't promised. She thought to herself but she
nodded and he kissed her again, slower this time. His
hand slipping under her pyjama tee and holding her
growing belly.
"I love you." She whispeted.
.
.
.
THREE YEARS LATER

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~72~
Three years later…

Alone's heels clicked on the tiled and polished floor of

the FNB premises as she took the elevator that led to
her recently new office. She held her laptop bag and
handbag in the other as other employees joined her in
the elevator.
"Good morning Mrs K."
She flashed a smile.
"Good morning." Her smile quickly dropped as she
flicked her wrist to check the time. She couldn't wait for
the elevator doors to open so she could get to her office.
When they finally opened, she couldn't leave fast
enough. Her heels still clicked on the floor, her blazer
buttoned up and her pencil skirt showing off the baby fat
that she failed to lose years later. It annoyed her to no
end but her husband loved her and he could still carry
her so who was she to complain.

Her PA met her by the door.

"Good morning Mrs Kgotla."
"Alone please. I said that more than once."

The poor graduate nodded as she walked inside the

office with Alone.
"I ordered your morning coffee and scheduled your
appointments for the day." She placed the physical list in
front of the desk as Alone placed her bags on the desk
and went to open the blind folds and windows.
"Thank you. Have breakfast too. I know I have an insane
work ethic."
The girl smiled. Besides her boss being so strict about
work? she did cut her some slack.
"Thank you Mrs K-Alone."
Alone smiled.
"Now go." Alone chased her out of the office. "Close the
door on your way out."

When she heard the soft click of the door closing, she
took out her notebook and laptop. Long day. Long life
and the only light at the end of the tunnel was going to
be at half four when she gets her hands on that little girl
of hers who cried so much when she left in the morning.
Husband? She never hated his job as much as she did
right now. He was supposed to have relocated back to
London right now but because their whole everything
was here, he was stuck in between two places and he
was currently in London.

She closed her eyes, taking deep breaths before she

began to work.
Her phone rang and she calmed herself before she
unzipped her handbag. It will be on silent after this call.
Tebogo's name flashed on the screen.
"Hello?"
"Hello Lolo."
"Hi babes, what is it?"
"I was planning Mofenyi's third birthday and it's on
Saturday , will you be free? I want Paris to be there."
"Paris won't miss her cousin's birthday. I'll buy the gift
and I'll be there."
"Alright. She is behaving now, not the fit she threw in the
morning."
"She just misses her dad, he'll be here soon." Like a
week later soon.
"I wonder how you do the long distance thing waitse…I
could never."
"When there is love, we make it work. Can you put Paris
on the phone?"
"Sure."

Alone waited and she smiled hearing her two year old's
giggles.
"Hey babyy.."
"Mama…"
"Ke mama.."
Her voice softened as Paris stringed words together and
Alone just nodded.
"I have to go baby okay? Ke a go rata autwe?" she
repeated the words Shawn never fails to say to both her
and Paris.
"Rata mama."
Alone smiled.
"Yes."

There was shuffling and Tebogo was on the phone.

"You're picking her after work?"
"Ng. Thank you. Our nanny had an emergency and
mama o simolotse go jola gape she is far."
Tebogo laughed.
"Please let mmamalome get some."
"It's weird..she's a grandmother."
Tebogo snorted.
"She is still young Lolo, let her get it on. Life has just
began for her."
Alone laughed.
"I know. I'll give her a pass. As long as she's happy."
"Exactly. Amolemo!!" Tebogo screamed and Alone
winced. He probably was breaking something or
touching what he shouldn't be touching.
"Ke Amo mma. I have to go, see you later."
"Thank you and bye Tebza."
"Sure."

The call cut and Alone was about to put the phone on
silent when it rang in her hand. Her heart pounded. Not
in the scared way but the happy way.
"Hello." Her voice rose a pitch higher as she started to
twirl her hair with her finger.
"I need you to show up at-"
"Show up?"
"Alone, listen." He commanded and she crossed her
legs at his authorotative voice.
She breathed out.
"Ee rra."
He gave her the location.
"Get the keys from the front desk. The penthouse suite."
"But Pa-"
"Alone did I stutter sweetheart?"
"Nyaa rra."
"Good. See you tonight."

The call cut and she bit her lower lip. Her mind already
fleeting from work. Too short notice and a lot of factors.
She looked at the two rings on her ring fingers. She
called Tebogo.
The phone rang for over a minute before it was
answered.
"Lolo…"
"Tebza, I need a favour. My boss just told me I'm
working late and-"
"You want me to stay the night with Paris?"
"If possible."
"Okay. I don't mind at all."
"Thanks. I owe you one. I'll call later today to talk to her."
"Alright."

Tebogo cut the call and Alone was about to work

whennher PA burst into the office.
"Good God."
"Sorry Mrs K, the car dealership just called."
"They did?"
"Yes. Apparently the car is ready for collection."

Alone's face lit up.

"Thank you. I'll call them back later today."
Her PA closed the door.

***
Owame held the phone in her hand as she talked with a
customer who wanted a refund on the dress ordered.
"Okay. Send the dress back."

She sighed. She knew these types. They'd wear the

dress then demand money back but won't return the
said dress. She cut the call and checked her laptop to
see how far her orders were. She looked at her empty
ring finger. It's been three years.

Three solid years of nothing but dating and Gofaone still

wasn't marrying her. She was at her wits end and
already she had been contemplating leaving the
relationship. She was thirty two and she was not risking
having a child outside of wedlock.

He doesn't want to marry her yet he wants kids. It didn't

make sense and she'll be keeping that IUD for as long
as she could. She won't be made a fool of.

There was a door knock on her office door. It was small

but it was something she was proud of. She had left her
nannying job two years ago. She made good money
from it and she saved it and used some for her start up
business. Film and television weren't working so she
has to fall back on something.
"Come in."

The door opened and her lips parted in shock as Lorato

stood there.
"Hello. Can we talk?"

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~73~

Owame looked at Lorato for a moment before a sigh left

her lips and she pointed over to the chair.
"Thank you."
Lorato sat on the chair and looked around the small
office. Just last week she had seen the posts that her
ex-boyfriend got married. Her heart had ached for a little
while but it's been three years so there was no use
crying over bygones.
"What can I help you with? Do you want to order
clothes? It takes six to seven business day an-"
"I wanted to apologise." Lorato blurted out. Owame
furrowed her eyebrows, slowly pushing her laptop back
before she burst out laughing. Lorato was confused. Did
she say anything funny?
"Apologise?" Owame covered her mouth as she looked
at her twin sister. Might as well call her a stranger
though.
"Yes. I know it's years too late but I wanted to sincerely
say sorry."
Owame's smile faded. Damn. She was really serious?
"Apologise for what? You should be specific."
Lorato looked everywhere but ag Owame. She knew it
had taken a lot of guts for her to convince herself to
show up here and apologise. And a whole year at that.
She was somewhat stable and slowly prospering if she
could call it that.
"For the vile things I said. For beating you and for using
you. I'd like to apologise for all of that."
Owame nodded.
"Okay."
Lorato didn't question that okay. It was in Owame's right
to forgive her or not but as long as she apologised. She
didn't get to make demands when she was the one who
hurt her twin. Owame had only wanted them to be closer
and she used that against her. Owame waited for Lorato
to start with her nonsense but she just agreed.
"And thank you for taking the time to listen to me. I really
appreciate it. Uhm if you need to call or talk to me, I
work at this company…"
She took out the company card and she scribbled her
number on it.
"I work there. Thank you yet again."

She placed the card on the desk and turned her back to
walk out. Owame pushed any thoughts about Lorato
back as she called Gofaone.
"Hello?"
He answered with enthusiasm and she smiled.
"Hi motho wame. Will you be home for supper?"
"Uh-I can't. I'll be working. Trying to reach deadlines and
all."
Her smile dropped, heart crushed and her eyes were a
few moments away from shedding tears.
"Wame? Are you there?"
"Yeah-uhm sure. Should I wait up?"
"No. I'll be home late."
She nodded.
"Go sharpo."
"Owame, wait…it's not by choice. I have to work and
very hard for that matter."
"I understand. Let me go. A customer is calling."
"Don't be sad. I'lm make it up to you."
"Okay." She cut the call.
Placing the phone down, she switched on her laptop
again. Maybe he wasn't marrying her because she was
an orphan. Who'd receive her bogadi? She literally grew
up in an orphanage and it wasn't nice.

***

Around four pm, Alone knocked off work. She passed

her boss by the reception. Even years later she still had
the same boss.
"Are you ready for the interview ko BTV?" She was
asked.
"I was born ready. It's next Monday right?"
"Yes. And you look like you're in a rush."
"Paris. I have to go get her."
"Okay Mrs K." They chuckled. Paris was everyone's
sweetheart. She was always well behaved on days she
brought her here and the fact that Shawn said Paris
looked like his late mom? That baby had him wrapped
around her cute little finger.
Alone smiled as the automatic doors opened for her and
she looked at her rings. She should get them cleaned or
something.

She shook her head. It wasn't time to think about Paris

now. The girl was safe with her aunt Tebogo and
probably playing with Amolemo.
Her phone rang in her bag and she groaned walking
towards the Mercedes her husband got her three years
ago.

She unlocked the car and put her bags inside. She took
out her phone and she saw the missed call from Fiona.
She called back.
"Hello."
"Lolo, are you free?"
"No. Still busy at work can I call you tomorrow?"
"Yes but you and Shawn are invited to a family wedding
function next week."
"Okay. If he's back we'll be there."
"Alright. Ko Maun autwe?"
"Ee mma. Say hi to KJ for me."
Fiona chuckledo. "I will, let me not delay you with work.
But on a Friday?"
"What can I say? Comes with the title and being at the
top."
"True. Go sharpo mma."
"Bye bye."

Alone cut that call and started the car. It was going to be
one long night. Did she feel bad that she dropped her
baby like a hot sack of potatoes to stay with Tebogo?
Only a tiny bit.

She reversed her car.

***

Three hours later, Alone was in the bedroom. She had a

long bath with bath bombs and she sprayed her
favourite seductive perfume all over her body as she sat
down on the chair curling her sew in. After tonight she
might need to remove it all together because she didn't
think it waa going to survive. When she was satisfied
with the curls, she walked over to her wardrobe and she
opened the shopping bag. It contained brand new
lingerie sets she never wore before. Should she wear
the open crotch one? She shook her head as she took
out the white floral lace set with a garter and she fit
herself into it. Perfect.

A white knee length coat was worn over the lingerie as

she got her white red bottoms.
"Breath in and out Lolo." She said as she spritzed the
perfume over herself again.

Her heels clicked on the tiled floor as she picked a cute

bag to put her phone and car keys in. Done.
***

Alone relied on her car GPS system. Where did he find

such a hotel? It was so hidden but when it came to
view? It was beautiful. Even the view was breathtaking.
She drove slowly into the premises and she parked her
car. It was a little after eight and she was late. She
quickly got out of the car and locked it before she totted
towards the main entrance. Her hips swinging to the left
and right as she walked.

She smiled by the reception. The receptionist smiled at

her
"Hello, uhm I'm looking for Mr…"
She said the name.
"You're Alone?"
She nodded.
"You're beautiful."
"Thank you."

The receptionist gave her the room card.

"Top floor penthouse suite."
"Got it."
She walked towards the elevator holding the room card.
Her heart started pounding and she swallowed
anxiously. She should have brought her asthma pump.
She was so nervous but this wasn't even the first time
doing this with him.

The elevator pinged and the doors opened revealing the

penthouse suite. She walked to it and tapped her card
on the scanner. She heard a little click and the door
opened slightlt. She pushed it open and she was
immersed into the darkness of the room. The only light
coming from through the windows.

"You're late." His deep voice reverted in the dark room

as she closed the door. She maintained her stride and
she placed her bag on the couch.
"Ta kwano."(come here)
He was sitting on the bed and she could tell he had the
crisp white sleeves of his shirt folded exposing his
strong arms. Oh f*ck! And his shirt had the first few
buttons undone too.

She walked towards him and he pulled her to his lap.

His whiskey breath hit her neck as he snuck a hand
underneath her coat. He felt the gutters and he smiled.
"That's for me?"
She nodded. His tattooed fingers wrapped around her
neck as his thumb skimmed over it in a way that made
her cl*t throb.
"You're beautiful. Strip and lap dance for me." He
squeezed a bit, bringing his lips to hers and she opened
her mouth wide, savouring that kiss like she had been
thirsty.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~74~

At the penthouse suite

Alone flickered with the lights until she found the right
light settings, creating a low light sultry ambient mood.
He kept his eyes on her, starring hawk eyed and she
licked her red lips. She had all of his attention. Just her.
Only her. She blew him a kiss and he chuckled, swirling
the bitter alcohol in his glass before he took a sip.
Slowly, she unbuttoned the coat. Taking her sweet time
with the buttons. She let out a little whimper.. She let it
drop to the floor slowly and she heard a curse. She
giggled, walking over to him. Her @ss jiggling in that
white thong and the lace exposing her nipples. She
walked over to him, pushed him back with her heel and
he smiled mischievously, licking his lips. She saw the
tent bulging in his pants and placed the tip of heel right
there. He levelled his eyes on her as she moved her leg
dropping it on his side and slowly dropping on his lap.
Her ring caught light and they both looked at how her
fingers started unbuttoning his shirt, her nails scratching
his chest.
"It's all yours tonight." She whispered in his ear, her
waist moving making her @ss bounce on his thigh.
"I know." He held her jaw, bring her face to his kissing
her roughly, the wet sounds of the kiss filling the room
and she pushed him down with a laugh.
"I'm still lap dancing at your order. Hands off."
He raised his hands, his own erection painful and
straining as he watched her remove the garters and
using them to tie his hands back. She knew his muscle
strength but he let himself be tied up.

He watched with those tied hands behing his head as

his girl showed him exactly why he loved f*cking her
senseless.
"Ah f*ck!" He growled as she cupped his growing
erection through his pants. Looking like a literal angel in
that white lingerie. Curves sculpted specifically for him to
enjoy amd sink in. Alone whimpered, her clit throbbing
uncontrollably. She held onto the table before she sat on
top of him to untie him.
The minute his hands were free, one held her neck as
he tore her thong and without warning he plunged two of
his fingers inside.
"You're such a slut Alone. All wet just from lap dancing."
He growled in her ear.
"Aaah…yes…" Good God! Relief! She shifted her hips
wanting him to go deeper. But he didn't.
"F*cking missed f*cking you!" He removed his fingers
and Alone whimpered. Needing the sweet relief. Her
eyes glazed as she looked at him. That wasn't fair.
"On your knees."
"I-"
"You're at my beck and call." He reminded her and she
dropped to her knees in front of him. Her eyes trembled
as she unzipped his pants.

She took out his hot veined d*ck. He groaned burying

his hands in her hair while pulling her closer. Alone
swallowed, knowing her throat was going to be bruised
but anything for him…

Her thumb covered the head of his c*ck smearing the

precum all over. And he called her a slut for being wet
for dancing for him? Did he know his own sex appeal?
She hollowed her lips and took an inch of him in. He
watched her intently.

Alone's tongue swirled around him and the tip before

she took more of him in. Her hands lightly tapped her
own thigh, jer mouth was so full. She knew how to do
this. Her husband had taught her well.

He held her hair roughly as she took all of him, he could

feel the back of her throat.
"Good girl. You know how I like it."

Her eyes widened with tears as he started mouth f*cking

her. She tapped her thigh, his big hand pulling her hair.
She could feel him get thicker in her and he groaned
moving her head back and forth and came in her mouth.
He slid out as spit mixed with cum dripped from the
sides of her mouth and dropped to her cleavage. The
lace bra was still on and he used his thumb to wipe the
sides of her moas she swallowed. He brought her up to
kiss her, using his other hand to unclip the bra, letting
loos÷ her boobs.
Alone kissed him back with fervour, as he lifted her up
and stepped out of his trousers heading to the bed.

He laid her down, his stubbled jaw grazing her nipples

and she whimpered at the contact to her already
peaking nipples. He looked at her before he dipped his
head and his teeth grazed her nipples.
"Aaaawww…"A moan left her lips as his fingers found
her throbbing and dripping.
"So f*cking needy. Your c*nt is mine to do as I wish isn't
it?"
"Ye-ahhhh.yesssss!"

She closed her eyes, writhing under him as he relieved

part of the ache between her hips. She moaned his
name, she squelching sounds all from him finger f*cking
her.
"I'm c-"
Her words died on her lips as she curned her toes
against the sheets….coming all over his hand and the
sheets.
He smiled against her neck, nipping at her ear. His
throaty chuckle had her whimpering for him.
"You're my good girl…spread those legs for me."
Her body took the commands as she did so. His
tattooed fingers rubbed her throat and she opened her
eyes to look into his lust filled ones. He smiled at her.
"You're going to take the pleasure with the pain aren't
you?"
She nodded.
He tongue kissed her, pulling her head to him as he got
on top of her, giving her some of his weight and
deliciously crushing her under him.
"Don't touch me. Hands up beautiful." She did as he
said and he squeezed her breast in his hand, his length
rubbing her slit and Alone moaned. Alone tried to shift
back as he tried to enter but his hands were quick to
hold her still and she screamed.
"Take all of me. You know you're made for me." He
grunted in her ear as she took all of him.
"Perfect…you take me so beautifully…"
She wanted to hit his chest, take the pleasure with rhe
pain.
His hand wrapped around her throat and it wasn't the
light one.
"If you can't breath, hit my thigh." He could bet that she
left left the asthma pump. She nodded and he slowly
thrust out before he slammed back in her with a
roughness that made her scream in pain and pleasure.
"My personal slut.." his voice was so sexy as she cried
when he gave her those mindblowing strokes.
"Don't cum yet.."she gasped as his grip tightened
around her neck. Was she seeing stars? She came hard
and he slapped her thighs.
"F*ck! Listen to me!" How when he was doing her so
good? He moaned her name in that voice of his and he
came inside of her but did he stop? No. He pounded into
her with stamina that scared her but she took it.
"Aaaaaawwwww!"
Another one, she cried out his names in ecstasy
squirting on the sheets. She finally touched him. Her
nails scratching his back tattoo.
"You're k-killing mee!!" He moaned in her ear as he
came in so hot inside of her. He breathed hard against
her neck, bodies slick from the sweat.

All thoughts fled from her head as he lifted his head to

kiss her and pick her legs to place them on his
shoulders. In the next second, she was a moaning
screaming mess underneath him as he f*cked her like
his life depended on it.
"I'm f*cking you till sunrise, keep up!"

She came at that exact moment.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~75~

At the hotel

He watched her sleep, she was breathing so softly and

she looked at peace. He kissed her lips and her eyes
fluttered open. He slowly slid inside her swollen p*ssy
and made slow love to her in the morning before they
both came and she yawned. He slid out, her p*ssy
leaking his semen.
"Sleep. I'll be back." He got out of bed and headed to
the shower.

Thirty minutes later he was done, he left her inside the

hotel room. Taking her car keys with and leaving a note
on the bedside table.

He got to the reception.

"Sir…"
"Morning. Make sure what Alone gets whatever she
wants but she shouldn't leave the hotel premises
okay?"
It was an odd request but the receptionist nodded. She
watched the man, he was so hot, she looked at the
tattoos on his fingers and how the t-shirt looked like it
was tailor designed for his muscles. This Alone girl was
so lucky.
"Okay."

He walked away and she tried to search him up on

social media but nothing showed up. She searched for
Alone. Yesterday was late but she thinks she heard the
name before.

She found her profile. Her eyes widened. It was that girl,
the one whose pictures had been circulating on
Facebook two years ago for her gorgeous wedding
facebeat and rings. She never posted her husband and
it was just Alone K or Mrs K. A married woman? In a
hotel with some guy? Did she see a ring on the guy's
finger? She couldn't remember.

***

At Tebogo's place, she tried Alone's number. It was

almost middday and her phone wasn't going through.
She had promised to get Paris in the morning but she
was nowhere to be seen.

She heard a car park in front of her remote controlled

gate and sbe breathed a sign of relief hoping it was
Alone. The intercom rang and she assumed Mofenyi let
whoever was outside in.

Paris looked up at her and Tebogo got baby fever all

over again. She wanted a mini her but Amo's stressful
birth quickly wiped those thoughts away.

She frowned hearing male voices.

In the lounge Shawn shoulder bumped with Mofenyi.

"Hi. I came her for Paris." Mofenyi nodded.
"Babe?"
"Ke etla."(I'm on my way)

Tebogo left the children's playroom and she had to hide

her surprise that Shawn was here. Where was Alone?
She played it cool by greeting him.
"Lolo must be still tired from work.."
Shawn frowned.
"From work? Oh yes. Work. I came to get Paris."
"Let me get her stuff."

Tebogo disappeared and she searched her pockets for

her phone. She didn't miss the surprise on Shawn's
face. Where was Lolo?

She tried to call Alone but it went to voicemail.

"Lolo? O kae? Shawn is here to pick Paris tlhemma.
Answer your phone." She left a voice message and put
her phone away. She got to the room and got Paris'
baby bag. She heard footsteps in the other room. Shawn
was probably taking Paris. She walked out as Shawn
walked ahead of her holding a giggling Paris in his arms.
She paused as she looked at him. As much as he didn't
live with them, he loved his daughter and Alone not
answering was worrying her.
Shawn looked at the little girl who looked at him like her
mother did. He touched her face as she took his hand in
both of hers.
"Papa."
"Hi angel.." she gave him a toothy grin and she started
saying a lot of things at once and he nodded.
He turned to face Tebogo.

He extended a hand to take the bag.

"Thank you for staying with her." He was well toned.
Wasn't Alone scared that the women in London would
snatch him? All muscles and good looking?
"It's no hassle."

Shawn said bye to Mofenyi and he walked out with his

daughter.
"Alone?"
"Fenyi my dear, she's not answering the phone.
Monyana was supposed to come for Paris in the
morning."
"Is it work though?"
Tebogo looked at Mofenyi as if he grew horns.
"Alone is not like that. She loves Shawn."
"Loneliness maybe?"
Tebogo thought about it.
"No..She loves Paris too. Maybe she overslept and
Shawn didn't pass by the house. Let's not assume
things."
Mofenyi kissed her forehead.
"Okay. You know your cousin best."
"I do."

***

At the hotel

Alone woke up all alone in bed. She stretched her body

but it ached to the point of her remembering where she
was. She closed her eyes, what time was it? She
groaned.

Her bag. Her bag was not by the bed and he left. Her
thighs were sticky and she just didn't have the energy.
Forcing herself, she got out of bed and winced. That
man annoyed her to no end. She walled funny to her
small bag and she checked her phone. So many missed
calls…

She froze.
"Paris!" Sh*t!"
Her baby. She slowly walked to bed and pressed her
phone, to send Tebogo a message. She stopped
midway, the paper by the bed catching her attention.

She picked it up and a light blush covered her cheeks as

she read the note. Okay he wasn't annoying.

Her phone reported with a message.

"Loved last night. Spend the money on yourself and only

yourself." It was followed by a fifty thousand pula bank
notification. She smiled.
"Alone. Focus! Paris…" she needed to get ready and get
Paris but her body ached. Would she be a bad mother if
she could sleep for two more hours before she gets her
baby. She needed a massage. Maybe get one from this
hotel before she goes to get her baby? Tebogo must be
mad mad right now.

***

Shawn watched Paris via the rearview mirror.

"Mama."

They had lunch and she was so active. He passed by

the house for more of her stuff.
"You want mama?" Her head moved, making those pink
beads on her hair move too.
"Okay angel." He took a sharp curve joining another
road.

Thirty minutes later, he parked his car by the parking lot

and got out of the car to take Paris out of the passenger
seat. He held her small hand. Her little hand had a
pandora bracelet on it with cute pink charms and she
watched her dad take out her favourite teddy. She
smiled and Shawn crouched to kiss her forehead. He
straightened up and closed the door. He checked his
pocket for his phone and wallet.
"Let's go." She happily followed her dad to the foreign
building, holding the teddy bear close with one hand.

Shawn passed by the reception and the receptionist

looked at him again. He was hot and he had a little girl?
How green flag could a man get? Maybe it wasn't his
child or probably a niece but that child looked so
comfortable with him. She watched him let her hand go
to pick her up and she touched his face all over. They
stepped in the elevator and in seconds they were out of
view.

***
Alone had wrapped herself in a soft gown. A massage
then she leaves. She sat with a corner of her butt
breathing out. The bed was made and there was even a
tray left. She was glad they were fast and efficient.

The door clicked and was pushed open. She looked at

him, his intense eye contact making her blush and didn't
notice as her little girl ran towards her.
"Mama! Mama!"

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~76~

At the hotel

Alone opened her arms for Paris. It had only been a

single night and she missed her that much?
"Hey baby.."
"Careful there angel." Shawn closed the door and
walked towards his girls. He picked up Paris, he could
tell his wife was in pain and kissed Alone's forehead.
They barely talked last night. He just wanted to f*ck his
wife with no serious issues discussed or without his
wife's moans waking Paris up.
"How was your sleep?"
"I'm tired."
"Anything I can do to help?" He asked before Paris got
his attention and she smiled looking at them. She really
wanted him to stay with them full time. She still had
questions but obviously she can't ask all of them now.
She sighed, content with watching both of them. She
knew her little girl missed her father so much.

An hour later, Paris was napping in the other room in the

penthouse suite and Shawn sat Alone down on his lap in
the main room. The tv was on and she had eaten a
while back.
"Why didn't you wake me up?" Leaving like a thief in the
night.
"You were spent and you deserved the sleep. You work
too hard." She placed her head on his shoulder.
"Don't tell me you're here for the weekend and then
you're gone. When you were gone this morning, I
thought you went back to London." she tried to keep her
voice even.
"We won't be hearing about London for a few years."
She moved her head away.
"Yo-you're back? To live with us? Full time?"
He nodded with a smile and she hugged him.
"Finally. Thank you."
"At least you'll stop looking miserable." He rubbed her
back.
"I miss you. I always missed you."
Her tears wet his neck and he held her. She sniffed and
looked at him.
"I love you." She whispered and he kissed her lips
before he said the words back and wiped her tears.
"Go simolla leng ke nna work nna?"(since when am I
work?)He raised an eyebrow and out of all the things
she expected him to say, he said that?
"How did y-Tebogo?"
If she had said she's going out, it wouldn't have been fair
for her to go out while her cousin had spent all day with
the kids and now night. So saying work was her trying to
clear her guilty conscience of making her cousin stay
with the kids the whole day amd night.
"I was working. You paid me. Remember?" His knuckles
grazed her face. She liked his tattoos but she didn't
expect him to get more in the span of three years. Okay
they weren't like a lot, just a few here and there. The
ones on his fingers made her hand necklaces…she got
wet even thinking about it. Him being in corporate and
having such visible tattoos? But her husband got away
with it so she can't complain.
"And I was serious. O monate gore Lolo, raya Mma
Puso o re ke batla go ntsha magadi round two."(You're
so delicious. Tell Mrs Puso I want the second round of
magadi)
She laughed as he rubbed her thigh.
"Okay. I have to go for a massage."
"Right now?"
She nodded. She picked her phone from the table and
called her cousin.
"Lolo? Finally."
"Hi. I'm sorry. Work tired me out and I overslept."
Shawn pointed at himself.
"I'm still work?" He whispered and Lolo had to try not to
giggle.
"It's okay. I was worried there for a second."
"I woke up to find rraagwe Paris and Paris at home. Let
me start with shopping for Amo's gift. Is there a
particular theme for the kids kana I know Amo likes
spider man gore."
"Theme ke yone spider man mma."(the theme is spider
man)
Alone chuckled.
"I'll see what to make Paris wear to stick to the theme.
Thank you a million times over tlhemma."
"That's what we are here for. Let me go okay?"
"Okay. Bye bye."
"Bye."

The call cut and she placed the phone down.

"I'm going for a massage, buying new shoes and getting
my hair done. See what you did to my hair."
He looked at her hair.
"Sorry autwe?" He wasn't sorry. His hand slowly slid
under the gown and his wife levelled him a look but he
didn't mind it.
"Mr Kgotla.."
"Ma?"
His hand was just a few centimetres away from her groin
as he French kissed her and pushed her more to him so
that her legs were on either side of him and her groin
was straight up touching his crotch.
"Babe, I'm tired and Paris might wake up."
He held her neck.
"Okay. Get ready for your massage then..I'll chill around
with our daughter."
"And I don't even have clothes…"
"You don't need clothes around me."
"You're too horny."
"Only for you. I'll always crave you Alone. I say it over
and over again. You are it for me." He untied the gown
and placed his head between her boobs. She held his
head.
"Shawn."
"O reela gore ga ra ira second born?"(you mean to tell
me we didn't make another baby?)
"So we name him or her after this hotel?" He laughed.
"We'll choose a normal name. Paris is our love child,
made in the city of love.."
"We should take her there."
"It'd be a nice family trip. We'll sort out our schedules."
"Ee rra."
To be honest, what was she supposed to do with fifty
thousand? Her job paid her well, Shawn gave her a
monthly allowance she didn't need another car since the
one she got three years back. Her X5 was also still okay.
He was the one who was still using his Range Rover. He
built the house with his salary and she didn't pay a
single thebe.

He was low maintenance to cater for her and Paris. She

rubbed his head, she didn't deserve this man but she
got him anyway. He also deserved to be spoiled and she
was about to do just that. And minus the materialistic
things, he was always there for her and their daughter.
Regardless of distance, he'd call and listen to her rants
and vice versa. He read their daughter stories to sleep
but seeing him virtually was never the same as having
him there. His presence in their lives.

"Okay big boy, I have to go."

She touched his ears and he lifted his head up. He
yawned and pecked her lips.
"If you're not too tired, can you go get Amo's gift?
Tomorrow Tebogo is throwing him a small party."
"Okay. I don't think that'll take time."
"I love you autwe?"
"Ee mma." She got off his lap and tied her robe again. A
bit tighter.
"I'll bring you some clothes when she wakes up okay?"
She nodded. His eyes scanned her body all over again.

***

At the mall, Shawn watched his baby's eyes light up

when they got to the toy store. He followed his little girl
as she picked the big teddy.
"Paris, we're here for your cousin baby."
She didn't let go and he sighed crouching to her level.
"Angel, we can't get that." She had an assortment of
teddies and this one was no different.
He gently pried her hands off the teddy and her eyes
welled with tears before she started crying trying to hold
on to the teddy bear.
"Mpopi!"(doll) He touched her face wiping her tears.
"I want!"
"You want but don't need angel." Did she even
understand that concept at two and a half years? Not
even. She paused the crying looking at her dad before it
got louder.
"Bathong Paris."

The lady who was walking down the aisle paused

hearing the little girl cry. Was this a sign? She had come
here to buy baby things and pray that she conceives.
Even if it's a single child. She walked further along,
seeing the man who was crouching in front of the girl.

"Why don't you buy her the toy?"

She said with light heartedness and the man picked the
girl trying to shush her as he turned.

She froze in place.

"Shawn?"

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~77~

At the mall

Shawn rubbed the back of Paris' head as she walked

closer.
"It is you!"
Her voice rose a pitch and he could see the hurt shining
in her eyes.
"Remember me? Merapelo?" She asked, her throat
blocking as she looked at the little girl he held. She was
pretty and she noticed his fingers. He got more tattoos?
And the gold ring on that damned ring finger she always
wanted to cut off hid the tattoo of the initials of some
anonymous woman she was competing with for his
heart. Those two years with him broke her so much she
had to go get therapy and he looked…happy?

Paris quieted down and brought her thumb to her lips.

Shawn held her small hand. His wife didn't like it when
Paris did that. He kissed her head and rubbed her hand.
"I'm sorry okay angel?"

Merapelo watched him soothe the toddler. He was so

gentle with her and this was what they could have had.
What he threw away with her. She was perfect for him.
They complimented each other.

Shawn shifted his attention to Merapelo.

"Hi, long time."
"It has been. How have you been?"
"Good and you?"
It was pointless small talk. This man? Uni had been
horrible towards the end because of him and he was
living life? Happy? Married? With a kid? While she was
freshly divorced from an abusive prick and dealing with
infertility issues.
"She's so pretty. Is she yours?" She asked looking at the
babe who was dosing off now.
"Yeah. I have to go. Nice bumping into you." Shawn
turned but she caught up to him.
"Shawn, wait."
He paused and she stood closer to him, catching a whiff
of his cologne mixed with the fresh baby scent probably
from his daughter. The combination was more alluring
than it should have been. How could her heart still feel
all sorts for a man who hurt her?

"How was it so easy for you to move on?"

He thinned his eyes and pinched his nose bridge.
"Merapelo, don't do this to yourself. It was nice to meet
you but your questions are unnecessary."

She chuckled. He was being dismissive like he used to

be during their on and off relationship of two years. He
still gave zero f*cks about her.
"Does she know you have another woman's initials
tattooed on your finger and that she is competing with a
woman from your past?"
They both looked down as Paris stirred in her father's
embrace. She looked at the way he delicately held her
small hand.
"I loved you Shawn. So much but you discarded me so
easily and partied…two years of my life."

Her voice rose and a few people in the shop looked at

them. Merapelo held back tears, her therapist was going
to be disappointed that she was already worked up
about Shawn. She had declared that she was fully over
this handsome creature who chopped her hearts.
"And you're so happy. A child and a wife whom you
probably treat like you treated me. Only that she got the
ring."

Her heart stopped as she watched him try to find words.

She had studied him so much, she knew his facial
expressions but she had never got the one where his
eyes were filled with hearts for only her. The 'I love you
more than life look.
"I gave you my best me's Shawn. You stomped on me
and all my efforts and maybe I wouldn't date me either, a
pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to love
her and assure her. You made me think that at some
point I was not worth true love.."

Shawn saw the tears roll down her cheeks.

"This is not the place for this, Merapelo." He lowered his
voice and Merapelo chuckled. Even now. How was she
here reopening old gashes and he dealt the final blow
by not even assuring her. He never did that. She licked
her lips and smiled sadly.
"Okay. One day I'll fully heal, being physically hurt is a
better hurt than the kind you caused me."
She breathed out and turned on her heel, fighting more
tears. Shawn sighed.

Gaborone was too small of a place, now he was running

into everyone. He looked down at Paris as she blinked
at him with wet eyelashes.
"I'm sorry baby..let's buy Amo's gift hmm?"
He kissed her head and she gave him a small smile that
warmed his heart.

***

Merapelo rushed to her car and she got inside, locking

herself in as she placed a hand over her chest. The
tears flooding in and she cried about every wrong thing
in her life. Her failed marriage, her inability to conceive,
her abuse, seeing her ex all happy with a child. Her
heart was soo heavy as she cried.

***
At the hotel

Alone felt a bit refreshed and better, just a little

embarrassed that the masseuse had seen those
lovebites all over her body and the little bruises after
yesterday's rough night. She sat on the bed and ordered
room service. She ordered for Shawn and Paris
although they weren't back yet.

Her phone rang and she picked up.

"Mama."
"Hello Lolo, I want to come and check on you
somewhere around this week."
"Mama but nnete gore o tlela Paris."(tell the truth that
you're coming for Paris)
"O ntshwere."(you caught me)
"Ee mma. You can come…"
"Okay. Are you okay?"
"Ee mma. I'm fine. Alive and well."
"Okay..let me go, I'm late."
Alone frowned.
"Late?"
"Disco night..I have a date."
"Hee banna!"
"Sharpo Lolo." Her mother cut the call before she could
say anything and the door opened.

"The gift is in the car, she was crying for more teddy
bears."
Alone watched Shawn walk towards her and he kissed
her head.
"How was your alone time?"
"I loved it. Let me ba-"
"I'll do it. Just relax and I'll join you in an hour."

He kissed her head and she watched him disappear into

the bathroom with Paris.

Later that night, Paris had been put to sleep by the both
of them and they walked out of the room heading to the
living area. She laid on top of him as he squeezed her
behind.
"We have a wedding to attend next week."
He nodded and she placed her chin on his bare chest
looking up at him. She loved this man.
"You're really here and not going to London?"
"Yes ma'am. Can I let you in on a little secret?"
She moved closer, nodding.
"I got promoted." She grinned and sat up properly to
clap for him.
"Congratulations, re jela kae promotion?" He chuckled.
"It's not been announced yet. In two weeks, the official
announcement will be made and we are attending the
function."
She kissed him.
"I'm proud of you okay? Of everything you achieve and
are still going to achieve rraagwe Paris. You make it so
easy to be your wife and submit to you. Ke a go rata
Shawn."
"I love you more Alone."
She pecked his cheek and placed her head back on his
chest.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~78~

The weekend flew by so fast and it was already Monday.

A very good one for Alone. She woke up in her
husband's arms, all warm and cosy.
She turned to kiss his lips before she got out of bed. She
had a long day and she better get a head start right this
moment.
Thirty minutes later, she walked out of the shower with a
towel wrapped around her body. Shawn yawned and
stretched.
"Morning."
"Good morning Mma Kgotla." She walked over to the
bed to kiss him and he pulled her down towards him.
"You're up early."
"It's my normal waking up time." She was about to add
that he didn't know that because they didn't live together
but she kept quiet. He was here and they'll work through
their busy schedules.
"Okay." She got up and walked to the wardrobe picking
out an outfit for the day.
"I'll drop you off at the studio."
"No, it's fine. I'll manage besides I'll have to come back
too."
"Lol-"
"Babe.."

She picked out the white long sleeved dress and a white
blazer with her pearly heels. She walked over to the
vanity table and she looked at her hair. She still had a lot
to do to make it look better for the cameras and she
didn't get time to even do her hair this weekend.
An hour later, she was done. Makeup done, edges laid
the sew in looking new as she placed pearly pins on it
after gathering it into a stylish style.

She walked over to the mirror and she twirled. She loved
this.

She left the room after the bed was made and walked
down the stairs to Paris' room. She was probably still
asleep. She opened the door and Paris stared right back
at her.
"Morning baby." She walked over to the bed as Paris
moved over to her to try and settle in her lap.
"Kiss kiss mama."
Alone kissed her baby's lips and her forehead, leaving
lipstick stains.
"Papa…o kae?"
Alone smiled. Being used to not seeing her father that
often prompted that question.
"He's here autwe?" Paris nodded and Alone got up
taking her hand. She should make breakfast for Paris
and her father before she leaves for work and before he
leaves for work too. She hummed as her daughter
blindly followed her.

After breakfast, their nanny came to the main house and

Alone smiled.
"Goodmorning MmaMotsamai."

The older woman greeted her employer back and was

surprised to find Shawn there. Shawn greeted her and
excused herself heading upstairs to the bedroom.
"Rraagwe Paris is visiting?" She asked. Mma Paris had
said her husband won't be home. They were used to it
and hee usually visited for a week or two before leaving.
Sometimes days. She saw how it strained Mma Paris
but there was nothing she could do.

Alone smiled.
"He's here to stay."
"Really? That'd wonderful. You always look lonely when
he's not here."
"Bathong.."

***

Azania's phone rang while her big sister was driving her
to Btv studios.
"Hello? Ma? Traffic Mrs K I'm on my way."

The call cut.

"Your boss?" Merapelo asked.
"Being her PA is quite the job but I love it."
"You coukd have been my PA, ne ke ka se gane
nnaka."(I wouldn't have said no)
"I know but there would have been issues of nepotism
and the likes. Besides, Mrs K pays well."
Merapelo nodded. Alone K. The woman was beauty and
intelligence and her bank's competition. She was glad
she was just head of marketing at Stanbic, imagine how
cutthroat the financial department Alone heads is.

"I didn't get her coffee. Today was bound to fail because
I woke up late."

Merapelo slowly drove forward. They'll be stuck in this

traffic for the next ten minutes.

Half an hour later, they had arrived and Azania got out of
the car holding her bag and her iPad.
"Thank you Mera, see you later."
"Bye bye."

Azania rushed away and Merapelo reversed her car.

Seeing Shawn had left her feeling all sorts and-
She took a deep breath. She'll be seeing her therapist
today.

***

At Btv studios

Azania stood by the cameras as Alone smiled. It was

going to be part of the news later today at 7pm and she
couldn't wait to watch it. She listened and took a video
with Alone's phone as her boss spoke eloquently without
a hair out of place and without stuttering. Her rings stood
out on her finger and the tattoo she had saw a couple of
times well hidden by the long sleeved dress and the
white blazer.

"And cut." Azania stopped recording and held the phone.

Alone laughed as she shook the presenters hand.

"Thank you for having me."
"Thank you for honouring our invitation Mrs Kgotla."

She didn't move from her chair as she spoke to the

presenter for a while. Azania who held Alone's phone in
her hands, watched it vibrate. Her husband was calling.
Should she give her boss the phone now?
She raised her hand and snapped her fingers. Alone
turned to her and she saw her phone ring.
"Excuse me." She got up and Azania met Alone halfway
to hand her the phone.
"Thank you."

"Babe.." Alone answered walking away to speak to the

phone. Azania had only worked with Alone for almost a
year and she has never seen her boss' husband. Even
on social media she didn't post his face, just them
holding hands or his back to the camera. She only saw
the cutie pie Paris. Occasionally when Alone came with
her.

Alone handed Azania the phone.

"We need to head to the car dealership first before the
office."
"Ee mma."
"Do you have a driver's license Aza?"
"I do."
"Okay good. I'll have them buy you a car for
convenience."
Azania's eyes widened. No ways. She was getting a
car? It was a company car but she was getting a car?
"Thank you boss, can I hug you?"
"No but you're welcome." Alone squeezed Azania's
shoulder.
"Let's go."

They said bye to the production crew at Btv as they

headed out.

***

At the car dealership

Alone looked at the new black Range Rover Sport. He

was going to love this one, she might have seen his
browsing history to know which var he wanted. He never
made the purchase though so she used up her own
money.

She talked to the assistant at the car dealership as

Azania watched and she looked at the car. She didn't
expect to see such a beast.

Alone wanted them to tie a bow on it. They listened to

her further instruction and she smiled. She turned on her
heels.
"Let's get breakfast before heading to the office." She
said to Azania.
𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~79~

Azania looked up from her desk as Alone passed her.

"I'll be back. Enjoy your lunch."
"Alright. Bye."

Azania watched Alone walk away. She wondered who

that cat was for because she knew it wasn't hers. She
might get her small car in a week or two but the fact that
her boss wanted her to get a car? Wow.

Her phone rang.

"Mera.." she answered as she typed on her laptop.
"I came back earlier than expected from the therapist.
Are you free for lunch?"
Her boss just left so she guessed she was.
"Yes. Let me pack up and I'll meet you at the parking
lot."
"Okay. Hurry."
"Ee mma."
She cut the call and saved her documents before she
switched off her laptop and started packing the rest of
the things by her small desk.

Alone got to the car and she removed her shoes. She
checked her phone. Should she buy him lunch first or
after? Will he even eat lunch after? She felt so giddy
surprising her husband. She opened her compartment
and looked at the blue blindfold, she was too short to
hide his eyes with her hands or should she demand he
remove the contacts so he can't see? She chuckled.

***

At C Corporations

Shawn leaned back in his office chair. His new office will
be ready in a few days so…

He checked his phone. It was lunch time and he should

probably go take his wife out for lunch. A light knock had
him looking up.
"Come in."
The door opened and it was as if the universe heard him
because his wife materialised in front of him.
"Hello Mr Kgotla. Are you free for lunch?"
"Yes ma'am." She didn't move further into the office as
she smiled lovingly at him.
"Let's go. Lunch is on me."
He chuckled and got up from the chair. He got his phone
and car keys.
"Gape I'm driving you today."
He raised an eye brow.
"What's going on?"
"Nothing. Come." She extended her hand waiting for
him. Shawn walked towards the door and took her hand.
He squeezed it and kissed her cheek.
"Where are you taking me?" He asked.
"Out for lunch." She walked happily by his side as she
greeted Mia on their way out. She unlocked the car and
her husband being a gentleman, opened the door for
her.
"Thank you." He jogged over to the passenger side,
eyeing her cautiously. What was going on? Alone started
the car and connected her phone to the car Bluetooth
system.
"Mma Kgotla, you're too happy. Am I in trouble?" He
asked. He did nothing but then women are
unpredictable.
"Nnyaa rra. Relax and buckle up baby."
She reversed out of the parking spot and their song
started playing, he placed his hand on her thigh and she
bopped her head while driving.

I just see further with you in my sight

Call it what you want
Hey, call it what you want
I believe, I believe
I believe in waiting till the moment's right
To say the word
You're the voice inside my head
You're the reason I even know what word love is
They were tall but now I see
It's 'cause I was on my knees
Beg and plead
Oh, you were the melody
I knew before I'd seen
You came to me

He looked at her, this was what love was.

***
Alone stopped the car by the road after their lunch.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"So babe…You were right, something is going on." She
opened her compartment and took out the blindfold.
"Babe put this on."
"Lolo?"
She looked at him with puppy like eyes. He relented and
wore the blindfold.
"I don't-fine love." She clapped her hands and she
touched his head to check if it was not loose.
"Don't worry. You are in good hands. Safe hands."
He leaned back in his car seat not knowing what his wife
was planning and he stewed in his thoughts.

Alone played another song as she drove to the car

dealership. She glanced over at him. She should have
done this sooner. He is always so happy to spend time
with her.

"We are about to arrive baby.."

She parked her car by the parking lot and got out of the
car. She opened the car door for him and took his hand.
She took out her phone as she took a video of their
intertwined hands.
She was all giddy and couldn't wait for his reaction.
"Where are we angel?"
"It's a surprise. You trust me akere?"
"With my life."
"Good." She saw the manager and smiled as she led
him to where his car was. She stepped back as she
gave the employee her phone to take a video. The sales
assistant took the phone with a smile as Msaki's
BestFrjend started playing. Alone stood in front of her
husband and brought his head down.
"Lolo?"
"Rra?" She slowly untied his blindfold.

Shawn blinked, his eyes adjusting to the sudden light.

"Surprise!"

She screamed with the employees gathered as Msaki's

song played louder.

Shawn staggered back, his mouth opening in shock as

his heart raced.

Alone smiled nervously. Shawn's eyes shone with tears

as he looked at the car that had a black bow. His eyes
went to his wife.
"F*ck!"

She walked over to hug his waist.

"It's not even my birthday." She pulled him down rubbing
his cheek.
"It doesn't have to be your birthday for me to spoil you."
She whispered. He moved his head back and looked at
the car then her and the car again. The exact model he
had been researching on. As something he'd get in a
year or two an-

"Ah…" He looked up and she held him tighter.

"I love you okay? It's your baby now."
She watched his facial expressions. He couldn't believe
it and it was so precious. She brought his head down to
peck his lips.
"You can go look at your car."
"It's really mine?" She nodded.
"In your name and everything. It's all yours." He stepped
back, trying to regain his composure before he walked to
touch the car. The man with the champagne and glasses
Wass on standby waiting for the bottle to be popped.
Alone watched with a heart overflowing with love as her
husband opened the doors. For a man who spoiled her
so much, he deserves every soft thing she is going to do
for him.
Shawn touched the sleek interior and then looked at her.
She gave him a thumbs up and he got inside the cat.
Alone slowly walked to the open car door. Shawn smelt
the leather.
"It's brand new." He swallowed, licking his lips. He
couldn't hide the glimmering tears in his eyes.

She held his hand, squeezing it. He pulled her to him

and she giggled as he kissed her hard.
"Thank you." He held her face in one hand and her eyes
shone with all the love she had for him. Words and gifts
would not be enough to express the love.
"We're doing this life thing forever, best friend."
He rubbed her lips with his thumb.
"A brand new car Mma Kgotla?"
He was in awe and she was going to make it a habit to
spoil him.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~80~

At the car dealership, Alone and Shawn toasted their

glasses as they each had a sip of the champagne.
Shawn held her waist.
"My personal sugar mama hng?"
She rolled her eyes playfully.
"Ke sugars yaanong?"
"Ee ao."
They looked at the car.
"You are taking it home today. It's ready my love."
"Thank you."
"You don't have to okay?"
Alone had gotten her phone back. She'll look at the
videos and edit it while she's in her office. She had
asked the car dealer not to post the pictures they took
before she does and for them to post the ones she
approved. She was sure this man of hers had no idea
she posted on social media.
"How are you feeling?"
"Like a child who got their favourite toy. You're so
precious."
She held him and she breathed out.
"You'll take me for a spin later?"
"Even now.."

***

At Mugg&Bean, Azania looked at her fries and sandwich

before glancing over at her sister. She seemed distant.
Well this whole weekend she was, she really hated that
man for ever laying his hands on her sister.
"Mera? Are you okay?"
Merapelo nodded.
"You've been distant. You know you can talk to me. I'm a
bit older now."
Merapelo smiled at her sister. She was so sweet.
"I don't want to burden you with my problems."
Azania sipped her juice and put a French fry in her
mouth. She swallowed and took her sister's hand.
"Mera, talking helps. Sometimes even if it's not a
professional but I can assure you and all instead of
trying to analyse your behaviour."
Merapelo looked at her plate.
"Okay. You know I'm struggling with infertility…"
"And I long offered to be a surrogate for you…"
Merapelo shook her head. She didn't want to lose her
sister during birth and she also wanted the experience of
carrying her own child. Feeling the kicks that other
pregnant women feel, the round stomach. Just all of it.
"It's okay Aza, you don't have to do that."
"The offer will always stand."
Merapelo mixed her milkshake. Her therapist had said
karma sometimes is not real and the people who hurt us
get happy endings too.
Her ex-husband was already getting g his karma. He
lost his job and he had made her suffer for those three
years of marriage.
"I saw my ex."
"The ex ex?"
Merapelo nodded.
"The one that led to the spiral that got you diagnosed
with clinical depression and you almost killed yourself?"
Merapelo nodded sniffing.
"I'm so sorry."
"He looked so happy. He's married and he has a little
girl. She's so cute."
"So you're over him?"
She laughed and looked around trying to distract herself.
Azania had been young at the time but she had seen
how her mental health was in ruins at that time. Tatters
even. She was not herself and just when she was
herself, then came in her abusive ex-husband. She sure
knew how to pick them.
"I wish…after years of not seeing him and he's happy
Azania. Happy like he didn't hurt me so so much."
Azania rubbed her sister's hand.
"Maybe he also w-"
"No. He was dismissive. Even today. I had only wanted
him to love me, assure me. Choose me…"
"Mera you are more than a university boy who hurt you.
You just have to forget he existed."
"Does karma even work?"
Azania sighed.
"Merapelo…."
"And surprisingly he has a child while I'm infertile, that's
not fair. It's not. He hurt me, I'm supposed to be happy
and having everything while he suffers even though I still
love him."
Azania's jaw dropped.
"So if he wanted you back you'd go?"
Merapelo was ashamed to admit it but yes. Maybe it
would be different but her therapist would tell her it's all
her trauma talking. That she was too much of a people
pleaser, that she saw the best in everyone even if she
knew they hurt her before. That's why she had been on
and off with Shawn. That's why she stayed in her
abusive marriage for too long. She was too complex a
human being to understand but her own actions made
sense to her and her alone.
"Mera!"
She sipped her milkshake and sighed.
"I think my lunch break is over."
Azania knew her sister was already dodging the topic.
She had never seen said ex but she hated him. Even if it
happened over a decade ago. She almost lost her sister
and that ex-husband? She despised him so much she'd
run him over with a car if she saw him. Speaking of
cars…
"Mera, guess what?"
"What?"
"So my boss said I might get a new car."
"What? Congratulations Aza…okay fine, you made the
right decision to work at FNB and not come work where I
work."
"See? Plus even before I worked for Alone, I've been
attending the finance seminars they held back in UB
when she used to be a guest."
Merapelo chuckled.
"Let me drop you off at work, do you want them to pack
tour food up as takeaway?"
"Yes please."
She finished her juice as her sister called the waiter to
come pack up their food.

***

Alone drove with Shawn in the passenger seat.

"Okay. I get my things, drive you to work to go get your
car then we drive home?"
"That's the plan and we get my car. Can't wait to drive
around ntse gotwe o rekile mochini laitaka a bo ke re
'my wife bought it for me.' " (can't wait to drive around
with people saying I bought a beast for a car)

Alone threw her head laughing.

"Bathong!"
"Ebile after we go get it, I'm driving to the boys to flex
the car and passing by Kagiso's house to say hi with it."
Alone laughed more.
"Kile ba bechetswa ka koloi ya di million bone?"

Alone stopped by the red light and placed her head on

the steering wheel, bubbling with laughter and she
looked at him. He was holding up his phone.
"Smile for me."
"Shawnn!"
"It's not like I don't know gore I'm hidden on social
media."
She shook her head with a little smile.
The robots opened and she stepped on the accelerator

"Please don't kill me before I drive my new car, slow

down."

She chuckled.
***

At FNB

Alone parked her car next to the GD6. She got out of the
car and Shawn got out of the car too. He walked over to
her and held her waist.
"You don't have to go to the office with me."
"I'm killing time here."

Inside the GD6, Azania saw her boss' car next to her
sister's.
"Flip! My boss is here. Let me run."
Merapelo turned her head and frowned. Seeing Shawn
with Alone.
"The one with that guy?"
Of course she knew Alone but Shawn?
"That must be her husband. I'm assuming because I've
never met him. Let me run."
Azania quickly got out of the car with her doggy bag.
Alone and Shawn were still standing next to their car
and Merapelo watched them.

Alone chuckled seeing Azania.

"Azania?"
She turned and smiled.
"Ma?"
"You can knock off. You don't have to run."
Aza placed a hand over her chest in relief. Her sister
hadn't left yet. A free ride even.
"Thank you boss."
She walked back to her sister's car.
"Okay. She said I'm off. Let me go get the rest of my
things over at her office…will you wait for me?"
"Yeah. Sure."

Alone and Shawn were already walking towards the

building.

Azania trailed behind him as Merapelo asked herself

questions.
Shawn? Alone? Shawn wasn't on social media and-

She leaned back in the driver's seat trying to piece

everything together. If Alone was a side chick, he
wouldn't be walking in public with her, she was married.
But this was sin city, people generally didn't give a f*ck!
Inside the building, Alone and Shawn arrived at Alone's
office and he closed the door.
He picked her up and placed her on her desk. Alone
wrapped her arms around his neck.
"And later, I'll give you hot steaming sex yes?"
He licked her lips before his tongue probed her mouth
open. She broke the kiss.
"I know you crave me."
"All the damn time."
She pecked his lips.
"You'll have to wait for later besides it seems like you'll
be driving around the whole city to show off your car."
He rubbed her chin.
"Ko Bokalaka ke sure le ntsamaetse. Motho o kile a
ratwa jaana yang?"(I'm sure you did something. How
can I love you like this?)

A door knock interrupted their moment. Alone pushed

him back and jumped off the table. Shawn sat on the
chair as Alone cleared her throat.
"Come in."
Azania walked in and she greeted them again.
"Babe, meet my PA Azania, Aza meet my husband Mr
Kgotla."
"Dumelang. I just came for some of my stuff."
"Okay."
Azania got her things quietly before she left.

As soon as she stepped out of the office, it made sense

why Alone didn't post her husband. If she had a man like
that, she'd also not post him. Women are vultures and
they might snatch him or even go to witch doctors. It wa
shocking that the generation they thought would not
resort to muti was now using it. She took the elevator.

Minutes later, she was in her sister's car.

"I was right. That's her husband."
She said to Merapelo as an afterthought.
"Anyways, I'm free for the rest of the day Mera…."

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~81~

Paris placed her head on her mother's shoulder as she

sucked her thumb.
"Ae mma! Kgwa monwana."(no ma'am. Don't suck your
finger)
Paris held back tears and Alone glared at the two and
half year old. She removed her finger and sulked. She
was not going to have her child have that bad habit.

She heard Shawn's new car leave the yard and she
laughed. He was so proud of it and she was sure he'll be
back later tonight after doing a roundabout of the city
showing off the car. She sat on the couch still holding
Paris. Paris decided to get off her mother and Alone
watched her closely just as she picked her phone to
start editing the video from the car dealership.

***

Shawn parked his car inside Kagiso's yard and Kagiso

stepped outside with his mini shadow aka Kagiso Jr
behind him.
"Banna!"
Shawn stepped out of the car with a huge smile.
"I just came to say hi."
"And when did you get this? The engine must be crazy
and not to imagine the speed.."
"Oh this gift?"
"Gift?"
"Alone got it for me…wa becha mosadi wame wa
bona."(My wife spoils me, you see?)
Kagiso laughed as he shoulder bumped with his brother
and KJ went to hug Shawn's legs.
"Hi little man."
He looked at his four year old nephew who was looking
less and less like his mother and more like Shawn
everyday.
"Paris o kae?"(where is Paris?)
"O ko lapeng. I can take you with?"
KJ looked at his dad then uncle.
"You can take him on Wednesday so me and my wife
can spend quality time together."
"Wednesday Jr?"
"Okay." He walked away.
"Shawn o serious?"
He beamed with pride looking at the Range.
"Yes. Ke ha gotwe tah-dah."(she did a tah-dah kind of
thing)
Kagiso walked closer to the car.
"Dio tsa leng?"
"Today around lunch. Ke ha a ntshupa ka koloi ngwana
wa Mma Puso. Ke ha ke re dammit, motho ntsha
magadi gape gape."(Mrs Puso's child surprised me with
a car. I said dammit let me go pay the bride price again.)
"I don't want to lie. It's one hell of a car. You deserve it."
"Thank you. Where's Fiona?"
"Still at work. She'll be here around six."
"Okay. Tell her I passed by and my wife and I might pass
by for dinner or you can pop in at our place."
"Got it. You're good?"
"More than good and back for good."
"Finally. Missed you."
They hugged again before Shawn broke the hug and
smiled.

***

At Merapelo's place, she placed her bowl of food down

and scrolled through Facebook. She came across
Alone's post and it had received a lot of traction.

' ❤ Decided to surprise hubby with his dream car and

let me tell you, this man was so excited..and he says I
should stop hiding him from social media. Gatwe the
people should know that he's my husband I love you
babe"

She moved to the video and watched all of it. Msaki's

best friend was playing and she closed her eyes, her
anger building up at how happy that man who hurt her
was.
She swallowed ir down as she went to the pictures of
Shawn holding Alone's waist and looking at her. That
look, she had begged and cried to be loved like that. To
be loved right but he didn't. He never did. She went to
the comments section to read the comments. Most of
them were wows and good things.

She looked at their pictures again, her heart racing with

anger and tears filling her eyes. Shawn didn't deserve
such happiness. He deserved karma. For how he
treated her. He deserved every bad thing in life.

She stopped at the one of them holding hands and she

nearly threw her phone against the wall. She breathed in
and out. In and out.

***

Alone heard Shawn's engine outside and chuckled. She

ans Paris were watching TV and cuddling on the sofa.
Her baby looked at her.
"Papa?"
"Yes." She got up and walked to the door waiting for her
dad just as Alone's phone buzzed with notifications.
She'll see them but not now.
The door opened a minute later and Shawn picked up
Paris to spin her around. Her giggles filled the room and
Alone looked at them.
"That car is so smooth. See why I tell my friends to get
married?" Alone rolled her eyes as she laid her head
back down and Shawn sat next to her.
"I'm happy you love it. Should I warm up the food for
you?" She sat upright.
"Let me take a shower first."
"Okay."

***

Owame laid alone in bed. She scrolled down the

trending post and she smiled. Shawn looked happy and
his wife was beautiful. Love needed money. That you
can tell. She sighed. Gofaone was at 'work' and she was
laying in bed alone. She tried to call his phone but it sent
her to voicemail.
"Gofa? Please pick up the phone."
She left that message and went back to her
daydreaming. She wouldn't be asking for too much
right? A wedding? It wouldn't be anything expensive but
her business was growing and soon she'll afford to fully
spoil herself. Right now she had a lot of money saved up
and waiting for the Land Board to allocate her land even
though it's been years.
She went through Alone's pictures. She was a lucky girl,
if she bought Shawn a car that means she earns big
money there by FNB. How was Lorato feeling about
this? She shook her head. She shouldn't be thinking of
her sister when she m-

She hit her head. Not sister. Lorato never treated her
like a sister. She is just a stranger she happened to look
exactly like. She sighed and placed her head against the
head board. Like all days, she shouldn't wait up. He'll
probably be gone in the morning when she wakes up so
what's the use?

She just hoped God answered her prayers.

***

That late night, Shawn laid cuddled up next to Alone.

She was fast asleep and he kissed her head over and
over again. To think he could have avoided a decade full
of hurt and miserably living, he could have looked for her
and found her. But he had her now and was going to
have her for many more years to come.

Alone opened her eyes in the dark. Now that it was night
time, her thoughts were clearing. She had been getting
the clean bill of health these past few years but the
appointment she had with the doctor two months from
now scared her so much. She just hoped there was no
cancer in her body. Sbe needed that but there was a
niggling feeling that kept on making her feel as if this
bubble of happiness would burst soon. She moved
closer, closing her eyes and she felt his lips on her
forehead.
.
.
.
TWO WEEKS LATER

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~82~

Merapelo paced in her room as her pharmacists friend

warned her.
"I'm not using it for anything nefarious. I swear."
"I pray for your sake."
"You needed the money and I needed a small favour.
Thank you okay?"
"Alright. Bye."
The call cut and Merapelo held the small tube and the
injection as well. She put it in her work bag and she
wore her mitten gloves walking out of the bedroom.
"Aza? E chaile."(it's time)
"I'm almost done."
Azania screamed from her bedroom.

***

Alone tried to get out of bed but her husband pulled her
back.
"Just a few more minutes."
"I overslept Shawn and besides we have your function
to attend later. I need to be done with work by lunch."
He murmured but he didn't let her go at all. She sighed.
"Okay fine."

***

Merapelo parked by some cafè.

"Let me go get a few things for bosslady."
Merapelo nodded. She knew her sister got food for her
boss and it wasn't anything new. She breathed out fixing
the rearview mirror.
Her heart rate beat in fear but then if karma can't help
her, she can be karma. That man hurt her and it didn't
take long to click that the 'AP' on his finger was Alone's
initials before they got married. It made her boil more.
He gets the happy ending. A family and all. Tears
pricked her eyes and she sniffed and stared out the
window. She took a calming breath and sighed.

She pressed her phone and closed all her tabs. Thank
God she used the incognito mode or else…

Minutes later, Merapelo opened the door for Azania who

was holding a bottle of water, coffee and donuts.
"I need to restock her mini fridge."
"We can go buy more water bottles."
"It's okay. I'll do it later, the coffee will get cold."
Azania held the things, her work bag on the floor and
Merapelo started the car. The car ride to FNB was
slower than usual due to the traffic they met on the way
but Azania was not late. It usually was a two minute ride
from the coffee shop to the work place.
"I can't wait to get my car, I won't be bothersome
anymore."
Merapelo swallowed, a guilt nudging at her conscience.
Her sister might lose her job b-
She shook her head. She can employ her sister so it's
nothing. Even buy her a car, it's not like she had babies
to take care of and she could very much afford it.

Five minutes later, Merapelo parked her car by the

parking lot. Azania looked around.
"Thank God, she's not here yet. Let me go put my bags
at the office. Give me a minute or two. The coffee is still
hot right?"
"Yes."

Azania placed everything nicely as she got out and got

her bag.
"I'll be back."
Merapelo watched her sister half run and she slowly
opened her bag and took out the small glass bottle. She
used the injection to take out the clear liquid. Filling the
syringe and then she opened the takeaway box,
inducing the donuts with the clear liquid as fast as she
could. She then opened the coffee and she filled the
syringe one last time and put the rest of the clear liquid
inside. She looked around and Azania was not back yet.
She put her things in the bag, she was going to dispose
them by some dump site.

She straightened her skirt and made sure everything

looked like how Aza left it.
She leaned back, blocking out all thoughts. No one
thought twice when they hurt her. Zero. Nothing.

Aza came back two minutes later.

"Thank you and thanks. See you later."
"Bye bye Aza. I love you okay?"
"Okay. Love you too."

Aza got the stuff and Merapelo closed the door. She
breathed out. Now she waits. She went to her call log
and she deleted most of her calls. She removed her
mittens as her hands started to sweat. Should she call
her therapist?

"Merapelo, breath."

She started her car and looked back to make sure she
wasn't crushing into any car.

***

Alone rushed to her car. Her husband was off for the day
and she stupidly allowed herself to be delayed by him.
"Let me drop you off."
"Ng ng. O tlo ntshwara tshwara wena and ke
late."(you're going to fondle me and I'm late)
"Kill a man for trying to be a gentleman."

She put her bags in the car. It was almost eight. So late.
She walled over to him and pecked his lips. She placed
her manicured hands on his chest, the dragon tattoo
standing out. She lightly scratched and he raised an
eyebrow.
"See you later okay?
"Okay."
"My dress is being delivered here. Make sure it's okay or
else me and the designer are going to have a problem."
"Ee mma."
She pecked his kissable lips and ran to the car. Shawn
watched with a smile.

Alone settled in her car and she started it. Her phone
rang and Tebogo's face flashed on the screen. She
answered the phone, putting it on loudspeaker.
"Tebza.."
"Alone are you free?"
"It's eight am, I have work. How can I be free?"
Tebogo sighed.
"I don't know. I just wanted to talk to you and spend time
with you."
Alone reversed, the gate sliding open. She waved at her
husband.
"How about Sunday? Brunch and mimosas?"
She heard a sigh.
"I just felt the need to call you. Can we go see mom's
grave when we have time next week?"
Alone's throat closed up. Her vision blurred. It's hard to
believe life went on after her aunt's death. The gate
closed and she placed her head on the steering wheel.
"Okay. We can."
"But to be honest I don't know why I called Alone. I just
feel like going out with you right now but I'm down for
Sunday."
"Okay. I'll call later okay?"
"Okay. Bye."
"Bye."

The call cut and Alone called Azania.

"Morning bosslady."
"Hey. Got my usual order?"
"The coffee is going to go cold."
"I'll warm it up in the microwave, I'm on my way."
"Okay."
She cut the call and drove off.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~83~

At FNBB

Alone rushed into her office.

"Morning Aza, sorry I'm late."
Azania held her iPad and pencil in hand.
"It's okay bosslady."
Alone looked at the donuts and the coffee. She placed a
hand on the coffee and it was warm. She opened, the
chicory scent still great as ever. She bit her lower lip.
What if she was pregnant? Her period was supposed to
come last week but nothing but o-
"Should I warm it up for you? You also have a meeting
at eleven and it ends at twelve."
"No, I'll make warm chocolate and have it with the
donuts. They look so yummy."
Azania looked at the donuts. That cafè always outdid
themselves. Always.
Alone looked at the coffee. A single cup won't hurt and
besides she had learnt through her pregnancy with
Paris' that not all coffee was bad. This was mocha so it
was part coffee and part hot chocolate.
"Ng ng. Let me transfer this to a mug and warm it up. I'll
be back."
"Can I have one donut?"
"Sure. Just one."

Azania picked one of the donuts as Alone walked out in

her white pants holding the disposable coffee cup, her
heels echoing on the floor. Azania hummed as she
picked one of the donuts and walked out to her small
desk. She took a sip of her tea before she bit into the
donut. She paused, moaning as the cream hit the right
spot. She had more and she finished it within a minute.
She swallowed it all down with her tea and she checked
the schedule again.

She'll have to take notes at the meeting and everything.

Her laptop was set up and she worked on something
she had to submit to her boss tomorrow.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Alone rinsed the mug and

poured the coffee inside. With a smile she put it in the
microwave for a minute. It was enough to warm it up.
She looked around. She'll take a pregnancy test in a
month. To be sure that she was pregnant. It would be
nice to have a baby in the house again. Paris was their
little girl but she might be lonely having no siblings.

The microwave stopped moving and Alone took out the

mug. Steaming and it smelt just so divine. She added a
spoonful if sugar to the coffee and walked out.

When she got to her office, she placed the cup down
and took out her laptop to place it on the desk. There
were five more donuts left in the box. She had a sip of
the coffee and she closed her eyes in delight. She could
function again. She picked one of the donuts and took a
bite.
"Yum."
Four donuts later and an empty cup of coffee she felt
ready to tackle her day fully.

Azania walked back in and she took the rest of the

donuts. Well only one was left. She had tha and went
back to her station.

***

At the therapists' office

"So you are still hung up on it?"

"Isn't it somehow the world works for ones' good?"
Merapelo asked.
"As I have been saying, karma does not exist. Shawn
hurt you but he was in his early twenties. Everyone
makes dumb decisions during times like that."
"I gave him my heart."
"You do too much to be chosen Merapelo. Did you
genuinely forgive your mother?"
Merapelo sighed.
"Yes."
"Isn't it because you were never chosen as a child? Your
father chose his step daughter over you and your
mother chose alcohol over you no matter how much of a
good child you were? You thought you could change
someone who had clearly stated he wanted fun."
Merapelo's eyes filled with tears. She and Shawn were
supposed to be exclusive regardless.
"He cheated on me. Countless of times."
"During your off times. You weren't dating. Merapelo the
sooner you let go and start resolving the issues deep
within that's when you'll find peace. Okay, hypothetically
speaking if he was to get karma how would you feel?"

Merapelo thought about it.

"I would be happy."
"Are you sure?" She nodded.
"He'd be losing what he loves the most because he
never loved me."

The therapist paused. Why did Merapelo sound sure?

"O-okay."
"And besides, he can see that I'm here too. The reason
he never loved me would be gone."
"Merapelo? Are you hearing yourself right now?"
"Hypothetically speaking…"
She sighed.
"But as you said, karma doesn't exist."
"Find peace for yourself. Praying for karma won't help
you. Maybe you are triggered because you saw him with
a child and you are in need of a child. You can adopt a
newborn, there are a lot of newborns children but not
until you are mentally fit. Let's talk about your ex-
husband."
"He is getting his karma. It makes me so happy that he
is miserable."
"Can I qsk you a question?"
"Of course."
"How do you expect to move on when you continuously
keep tabs on the people who hurt you?"

Merapelo paused, her mind slowing down.

"You keep reminding yourself of the hurt, Shawn didn't
hurt you. You hurt yourself because of your own
expectations. You wanted him to love you and choose
you because you've never been chosen. You lose
yourself trying to be chosen. Pathologically pleasing
people at your own expense and when they don't
choose you it makes you angry. Merapelo, the problem
is you. You need to choose healing. We have been
doing this for over three months and I don't know why
your former therapist didn't tell you this. It starts with
you. You! You're the problem. Your ex-husband was an
a*shole yes but you stayed because you wanted him to
chose you. To stop on his own accord and see that
you're worth more than being a punching bag. You've
never chosen yourself, how do you want people to
choose you?"

Merapelo's tears trickled down her cheeks as she

sniffed.
"You Merapelo. The minute you get out of your head and
think logically is the day you'll be well on the journey to
find peace and start healing fully. Right now we'll be
moving in circles and playing the blame game. You are
focused on the hurt and not what 'I can go to get better.'
"

Sbe rubbed her eyes.

"Think about it and if you are not ready to change and
choose you for a change. Please don't see me as your
therapist anymore."

Her therapist stood up and walked to the door. She

opened the door for Merapelo and Merapelo looked at
the therapist. It felt like the therapist was not choosing
her, her own client. She got her bag and walked out.

She walked down the corridor sniffing and wiping away

her tears.

The therapists words rang in her ear over and over

again till she reached her car. She tried to find the keys
but the syringe needle in her bag pricked her finger and
she cried more.
"Ouch!" It was at that moment it clicked. She had put-

It was right at the time. She checked her phone and

called her sister. She didn't answer.

She found the keys and she got inside her cars. She
wiped her tears and checked her phone. She went to
Facebook and she searched Alone. Did Alone know
her? She didn't know her like that but that girl had
everything. Her guilty conscience came out full force and
she went back to trying Azania's number
***

At FNBB

Tebogo greeted the receptionist. She didn't know why

she was here when Alone said Sunday but she is taking
her cousin out for lunch. She didn't have court today and
even tomorrow although she had a long @ss case to
deal with. She took the elevator.

Alone and Azanja walked out of the meeting. It took

longer than expected and Alone felt nauseous and so
dizzy. Her stomach turning but she had ignored that in
the meeting.
"I think I'm coming down with a headache." Azania said
as she walked to her desk, seeing everything blurry now.
She sat down and placed her head on her desk.
Alone opened the door to her office and breathed out,
feeling her heart stop for a second and she closed her
eyes. What was happening? She walked over to her
desk and held her phone. She licked her lips as her
stomach turned and she let out a gasp.
She emergency dialled Shawn.
"Hello?"
"Babe, I don-aaah…" her scream was louder.
"I'm on the way."
She dropped her phone without cutting the call and
clutched her stomach. Her office door opened and
Tebogo walked in. Tebogo's eyes widened.
"Lolo? F*ck!" She walked over to her cousin, her white
pants stained with blood and the blood spot was getting
bigger.
"I'm here, I'm getting help!"
"Hello?"
She picked Lolo's phone.
"Shawn? She's bleeding. I'm taking her to the hospital."

She cut the call and held Lolo who groaned in pain.
"My heart…Teb-ah…pelo y-yaaka e-eta e ema."(my
heart keeps on stopping)
She said weakly. Tebogo's eyes filled with tears. Lord
no! Not her cousin.
"We are getting help! Help! Bathong thusang!"
She screamed, feeling Lolo's weight weigh on her.
"E-" Lolo closed her eyes at that word and Tebogo's
throat closed up tears streaming as people burts into the
office.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆
~84~

At FNBB

By the desk, one of the co-workers touched Azania's

shoulder as Alone was carried out of her office.
"Aza?"
Azania was not responsive.
"Thusang!" She shook Azania a couple of times. This.
Was scary!
One of the men came and looked at Azania.
"She's not responsive."
He picked her body, a bit heavy seeing she wasn't
conscious. The lady checked the desk and looked for
Azania's phone. She tried pressing the emergency call
button and it dialed a number. It rang as she followed
her male co-worker who was carrying Azania.
"Hello? Azania thank G-"
"It's her co-worker. She is being taken to the hospital."

On the other end of the line, Merapelo's heart dropped.

Hospital? Did sh-
"Which one?"
"The nearest."
"Is she okay?"
"She's unresponsive."
Merapelo held back tears..she covered her mouth as
she got out of her office.
"I'll be there."

Tebogo hit the accelerator as soon as she was out of the

building. This can't be the end for her cousin.
"Lolo, hold on. Paris is still a baby." She sniffed while
driving
Her phone rang in her bag and she ignored it as she
groaned in frustration, the traffic making her stop. She
has never hated Gaborone lunch traffic like she did now.

Shawn was already out of his house and Tebogo wasn't

answering her phone. He called the hospital they
normally went to.
"Hello."
"Mr Kgotla here. Can I have a doctor on standby? My
wife is about to be admitted there and I want her
attended to with immediate effect."

The receptionist noted it down.

"Got it."
'Thank you."
He cut the call and tried Tebogo again. It rang for a few
minutes before she answered.
"Shawn."
"Which hospital?"
She told him and he breathed in relief, glad he called in
advance.
"I called them in advance, how far are you?"
"Ten minutes ago, I'm driving as fast as I can."
Fast enough to cause an accident. Tebogo said in her
heart but she needed to get Lolo help. ASAP!
"Thank you. I'll meet you there and thank you."
"Okay." She quickly cut the call and stepped on the
accelerator, sending her Jeep flying.

***

At the hospital

Tebogo jumped out of the car and she ran to the door.
"Hi…I need help!"

The Receptionist looked at her.

"Mrs Kgotla?"
Tebogo nodded as she rubbed away her tears and
walked to the cat as a stretcher was brought out and
they followed her.

She stood by the car as she was placed on the stretcher

and a nurse placed a hand over her shoulder.
"We have the best care."
"She said her heart keeps stopping." Tebogo broke
down into tears and the nurse empathised with Tebogo,
rubbing her back as Alone was taken in.

Tebogo stopped crying minutes later.

"Th-that was-I'm sorry."
She said as she stepped back wiping her face which
was already turning pink.
"It's okay."

She followed the nurse after she got her phone and
locked her car.

In the same hospital, Azania was admitted twenty

minutes later and was sent to a different room.

***
Shawn who had arrived ten minutes after Lolo was
admitted sat on the bench, his own heart a mess. She
was fine when she left home in the morning. Late but
fine and she-

Tebogo sniffed into her blazer, her beige dress sporting

a few blood stains on it but she didn't care.
"Wa re what happened?" Shawn tried to keep his voice
even.
"I-I was there to take her for lunch, akere it seemed as if
she was on the phone with you. That moment. She was
bleeding and-"
Shawn cursed for the millionth time ad he stared up
biting his lower lip.

His phone rang in his pocket and he saw his boss' name
flash on the screen.
"Hello, Mia I won't be at the function tonight."
"Shawn you sound stressed. What happened?"
"Lolo is in hospital."
"Consider it canceled. It was in your honour and I pray
she gets better…I'll pass by the hospital later okay?"
"Alright."

He cut the call. He covered his face and Tebogo kept on

wiping her tears but they wouldn't stop.
On the same floor, Merapelo came rushing in and she
saw Tebogo, that was the hotshot advocate who won
almost every case she was given right? She had seen
her comments under Alone's pictures and a few selfies
here and there. Shawn looked like a mess as he popped
his knuckles.

She sat next to Tebogo who didn't seem to notice she

was there. She swallowed. Shawn looked st her but
didn't acknowledge her as his phone rang.
"Tebogo, I'll be back."

Tebogo nodded as Shawn stood up answering his

phone. Tebogo sniffed and Merapelo's whose heart was
pounding looked at Tebogo but she swallowed her guilt,
waiting to hear about what was happening to her little
sister.

A few metres away, Shawn talked to Kagiso.

"I saw your message…"
"Kagiso I-"
He held in his tears as he placed a fist over his mouth.
"The doctor hasn't said anything yet, let's have hope.
Fiona and I will be there, we'll take KJ to play with Paris
at your house. Okay Fiona is sorting it all out. Wa re
Tebogo found her?"
He nodded as if his older brother could see him.
"Amo…Fiona will sort everything involving the kids. Re
eta autwe?"
"Okay."
"Hold on…" the cut call and Shawn leaned against the
wall. Alone was going to be okay right? His heart hurt so
much.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~85~

At the hospital

The time was almost four pm and there had been no

sign of the doctor giving good news. At that moment
almost everyone was there, Mofenyi held his wife's
shoulders. She had been feeling light hearted from all
the crying and at that point, Mia sta on the bench
observing everything. Her husband was busy and that
man wasn't on his phone when he was busy.

Fiona sat next to Kagiso as they looked at Shawn who

was defeated. Shawn turned to his brother.
"How do I tell her family? I promised to take care of he-"
his throat bobbed as he choked on his words. Kagiso
pulled his brother's head to his shoulder. It felt like years
ago when he had got the phone call that their parents
were gone and he had to rush back for Shawn.
"No news is still good news, we have to hold on to hope
Shawn."

Merapelo who sat in the corner, all alone saw the people
who had come here for Alone. Everyone looked
distraught and emotions choked her. Shawn had a
support system. People who dropped everything for him
and she was alone. Waiting. Her throat clogged up and
the tears rolled down her cheeks. She didn't….let her
sister be okay. She was hoping for her sister to be okay
and begging that she wasn't…

She didn't know. Her therapist's words rang in her head

again. That she never chose herself. She hurt Alone
who didn't know anything and it will all be on her sister
once she wakes up. She covered her face with her
hand, sniffing all alone with no one to comfort her.

The hospital room door opened and Dr Carmichael

walked out. He spotted his wife who quickly got up and
walked up to him. He held the small of her waist, his
thumb brushing over her hip bone and her scent be a
welcome reprive from the pills and the hospital smell.
Shawn got up, sucking in a deep breath as he walked
over to Raphael.
"Let me go stand there while you guys talk." Mia said
softly.

She stood on her tip toes to try and kiss him and he
brought down his head to lightly peck her lips. She gave
him a sweet smile and walked away.
"Shawn follow me.."

Shawn walked behind Raphael as they walked into

Alone's hospital room.

Shawn's heart nearly stopped as he saw his wife,

connected to breathing machines and the heart monitor
showing her stable heart.

Raphael removed his stethoscope, placing it in his coat

pocket.
"Well, her sudden decline has a source." Shawn forced
himself to look at Rafe.
"Is she okay now?"
"Depends on what okay is but she is stable. For now."
Shawn nodded. He can deal with that.
"She was pregnant."
Shawn felt his body freeze on the spot. Noting the tense
used.
"Was?"
"She was bleeding by the time she was brought in. She
lost the baby. It was a very early pregnancy. Not even a
month."
So they had made a baby? The pain that pierced
through his heart had him taking a moment to recollect
himself.God, his baby, was going to be devastated when
she woke up with all these machines surrounding her.
He licked his lips before he faced Rafe again.
"She was cleaned up and although it seemed she
ingested a drug that had no business being in her
system."
Shawn glanced at Alone. A drug?
"Atropine. It is a medically approved medicine for certain
conditions but it was overdosed in her system."

Shawn's eyebrows furrowed. He was into calculations

and finance so he had no idea what the said atropine
was.
"It is also a drug that can be used during domestic
homicides, keep that in mind."
"Okay. She ingested atropine…." He was keeping up.
"And it's not found anywhere else but kn hospitals, well
the variation she took because the one in eyedropper is
not this level of strong."
Shawn closed his eyes.
"You said homicides, I don't even know anyone who'd try
to kill her.."
"Think Shawn. Anyway, she is currently surviving with
the machines because it was extremely toxic to her
system."
Shawn wasn't sure his heart was able to take this. He
rubbed his chest.
"We did drain some of it and used other medicines to
counter the toxicity. In some cases, once she wakes up
she can experience paralysis and circulatory collapse as
well. The atropine won't affect her fertility since it is used
in very very small dosages by pregnant women. The
overdose is what caused the miscarriage." Shawn
blinked, his eyes welling up with tears.
"But I'll do my best. It's just a possibility, in some cases
she wakes up with no side effects."
He nodded.
"And your question? Try finding out who has a vendetta
against you because it's not everyday a very healthy
individual suddenly has atropine in their system." Rafe
nodded and he walked out of the room leaving Shawn
alone with his wife.

Shawn walked to the bed and he took her hand. His

tears dropped on her hand and he sniffed. He tried to
think so hard about who'd want to hurt Alone. He rubbed
his eyes as he sta down on the chair.
"I'll find whoever it is okay? I swear." He kissed her
hand.

Meanwhile, Merapelo listened with a breaking heart as

the doctor told her her sister was in a coma. She nodded
as the drug she used was mentioned. She never banked
on her sister also eating the food and it- the guilt
weighed heavily on her chest and she closed her eyes.

Shawn walked out of Alone's room minutes later. He

needed to know what his wife ate that day because she
didn't eat at home. At all.

When he walked out, everyone walked over to him.

"Is she okay?"
"She's stable."
Tebogo's red rimmed eyes could barely see.
"Stable?"
"She hasn't woken up yet but..the gist of it is she was
poisoned."
Everyone was silent and Fiona opened her mouth and
closed it. Poisoned?

Mia's mind started turning. Shawn breathed out.

"Can I speak to Mia for a second?" Kagiso patted
Shawn's back as Mofenyi led Tebogo away.
Mia looked at Shawn who placed a hand over his mouth.
"I don't know how many favours I'll be ow-"
"It's not even a favour. What do you need?"

Raphael passed by them and he knew Shawn was

smart enough to do something about this very sudden
hospitalisation of his wife. He knew how it was not to
have knowledge in a certain field too. Just like he relied
on his brother and wife for their advanced computer and
technological skills and prowess.

"I need footage from FNB's parking lot this morning till
Alone was out of the building. As well as the footage
from outside her office, not sure if she has cameras
inside her office. I need footage from her floor."
"I'll work on it. What else?"
"Her PA. Start with an investigation on her. She said her
name was Zan-Azania. Azania..her family and also
Alone's co-workers..f*ck! Footage from the past two to
three days."
Mia nodded.
"Okay. I'll find that information." He tried to look into his
own past.
"I'm not getting anything or anyone who'd have an
agenda from my past but look into Alone's exes as well
as mine. Business deals going sour and the likes."
"Alright. She'll be alright kiddo." Mia hugged him.
"Thank you. I hope so."

She broke the hug.

"I know so. Let me go work on this and I'll get back to
you maybe later tonight, it's nothing complex."
"Let me do my own investigation on my side."
"Okay okay." Mia walked away, she headed to Rafe's
office.

Shawn walled over to where Kagiso was and he sighed.

"We'll make it through."
"I failed her." He whispered with a broken voice.
"Shawn-"
"Just like I failed mom and dad, they died saving me. I'd
rather die in place of Alone. Paris needs her, I need her."
Kagiso hadn't heard his brother's survivor guilt show in
decades and Shawn voicing it now…it broke his heart.
He hugged his brother and Shawn needed that. That
small five minutes to be vulnerable before he tries to be
strong for Alone and finding out who did this.
𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆
~86~

At the hospital

The rest of the family was in Alone's room as Shawn

spoke over the phone.
"Her PA also got admitted?" He asked the receptionist
who replied.. Interesting.
"Where?" He asked and it was apparently the same
hospital he was in. Hopefully Mia will be back with
answers and footage. He needed that ASAP.

Just as he cut the call, Merapelo walked out of a room

with tears stained cheeks.
"H-hi Shawn."
He looked at her for a minute. He nodded in
acknowledgement but he didn't say anything.
She had saw him with his brother, could you believe that
it was the first time seeing his brother. He had Mrs
Carmichael from C Corporations here and she was a big
deal especially in the country's tech sector.
"What brings you here?" She didn't move from where
she was standing. She could tell he was hurt and she
knew why he was here, she wanted to hug him and
apologise for what she did but no one knew and she
was keeping it that way.
"None of your business." She nodded and walked away,
her heart beating and praying for Azania to wake up.
She just hoped that her sister wakes up and since it's
not only Alone who's in hospital, her sister won't be
blamed.

Her therapist's question played over in her head. 'Would

you be happy if he suffers?'

She licked her lips. She was supposed to be happy. She

was supposed to be elated that the boy who didn't
choose her in Uni was suffering but she wasn't happy. It
wasn't an 'I did it' moment. It was empty and her guilt
worsened. Alone didn't-she stopped walking, catching
her breath as her eyes blurred with tears.
Azania…Azania didn't deserve this…
"God, what have I done?"
She whispered more to herself.

Meanwhile by the benches, Shawn gathered the

courage to call his mother-in-law. Her phone rang and
he rubbed his cheeks.
"Hello Shawn. How are you?"
He cleared his throat.
"Hi. I have something to tell you."
"Okay. I'm listening. Tell me you and Alone are planning
to bring Paris here. I already miss her."
He tried to smile but he couldn't.
"It's about Alone."
"Is she okay?"
"Unfortunately not. She's hospitalised. Can you come to
Gaborone?"
"What happened?"
His throat bobbed.
"I can't say over the phone."
"I'll drive there first thing in the morning. Can you give
her the phone?"
"I-I'm sorry." He quickly blurted out. He blinked back the
tears.
"Shawn? What's going on?"
"Unfortunately, I can't give her the phone but I'm sorry."
He said.
"I'll be there." She sounded worried and rightly so. He
failed his wife. He cut the call before he could fully cry.
He breathed in and out in an attempt to calm down. It
hurt so so much.

***

The following day

That Saturday morning, Shawn woke up with Paris
snoring on his chest. He looked at his daughter and
breathed out. She had been asking for her mother last
night and seeing her cry for Alone tore at his heart
strings. In trying to get her to sleep, he fell asleep as
well.

He slowly unattached from her little body, covering her

with the duvet and stretching as he got out of bed. His
phone which was on the stand, flashed. He checked the
time. It was almost ten…

He answered the call.

"Hello."
"Hi Shawn. I sent the document and I might have
stumbled upon a few records and spent the last three
hours threatening people."
He frowned.
"Okay."
"You just woke up?"
"Yes. I'm about to head to the hospital and I'm expecting
my mother-in-law later today."
"Okay. Like the last time I sent information, go through
everything calmly."
His heart picked up bur he agreed.
"She'll be fine. We might not be sure when, but she'll be
fine with time."
He looked at his daughter sleeping peacefully.
"I hope so."
"Okay you can go check on your wife kiddo. Bye."
"Mia?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you. So so much."
"You're welcome."

Mia cut the call.

***

Mia walked out of the small cafè. She had to really zoom
into whatever the PA had carried into the office and a
something that was quite the surprise was it seemed as
if the food only poisoned the two of them. The rest of the
clients who ordered from the same batch, the ones who
had come pick their orders were fine.

Could the PA have done it? Highly unlikely but then

again people were sick so it might have been a tactic to
throw everything off. And another interesting g tidbit?
Alone's exes hadn't been in contact with her for years.
She has only two and she never replies Facebook dms.
Yes she did hack everything that needed to be hacked.

To the tidbit, Azania was Shawn's ex's sister. That

sentence made sense in her head. She unlocked her
Mercedes and she settled in the comfortable seat. Said
ex? Well it did take more digging to get to Shawn's exes
and boy, he was a busy man in uni. Probably thinking
these women would mend his heart. She was stupid like
that too, dating because she believed her crush killed
her family. She hit her head with a chuckle.

Said ex, had been admitted into a mental institution for

attempted suicide and guess who broke her heart?
Lover boy who was in hospital because of his wife. Mia
pushed her glasses back. She had a gut feeling but
she'll look at everything again because the angle of
business deals going wrong and all? The rest of
Shawn's exes were probably people who knew damn
well to stay away from a man who didn't understand
himself and had probably made it clear that he was
there for a good time, not a long time. There was
nothing and Shawn's ex-wife wouldn't pull something
like this. Owame wouldn't, she was busy with a man
who was cheating on her but that was not her issue. She
started the luxury car and leaned back.

Her hunch never lied. She'll ask Rafe. He's not impulsive
like her so he'll be her voice of reason and he was
smart, she liked not having to think too much when he
was around. He did it for her. Simple.

***

At the hospital

Shawn passed Merapelo as he walked into the hospital

room. It didn't look like there was an improvement since
the day before. He sat down and kissed her hand.
"Hi angel. Can you hear me?" He rubbed her hand and
he finally went to his emails.
"I'm getting to the root cause of this. I promise."

He kissed her hand again, calming down as he opened

the first file. It was going to be a long day.

Two hours later, Shawn was writing down a few things

on his notepad. Mia's findings interesting. His brain
wracking while his eyes swept over his wife. She looked
so damn peaceful.

He circled Azania's name in the middle of the page.

Alone's PA had access to her food. No one got sick at
the bank. His phone rang.
"Mia."
"I found the cafè the food was ordered from. They are
clean."
"Thank you."
"Any ideas?"
"I want it to make sense so bad why Azania would
poison Alone? She's been my wife's PA for quite some
time and nothing like this has happened."
"I'm on my way there to see my husband. We'll discuss
this in his office?"
"Of course."

The call cut and he pinched his nose bridge. Meanwhile

outside the door, Merapelo stood by the door trying to
listen in on Shawn's conversation. She heard Azania's
name being mentioned and she stopped in her tracks.
She breathed softly, one was on the floor and it was a
Saturday too. She didn't hear Tebogo's silent steps.
"Heel!" Tebogo's voice was loud and Merapelo turned
quickly, her hand on her chest.
"Tshiboga hoo, busy listening through doors.." she
moved back as Tebogo opened the door and closed it.

Inside, Tebogo placed her bag down and walked over to

the bed.
"Any progress?"
"Same as yesterday."
"This is scary." Shawn agreed. "Oh and that woman,
form yesterday who was by the corner was listening
through the door."
Shawn glanced over at the door. Merapelo? Why?
"But I chased her away." Tebogo fixed Alone's hair.
"We can only pray she wakes up this week."

He was about to answer when his phone rang.

"Shawn, hello."
"Ngwanake o kae?"(where is my daughter)
He gave Mma Alone the name of the hospital. Tebogo
gave Shawn a pitiful look.
"You know how….extreme Mma malome can be, hope
she doesn't lose it."

Shawn rubbed his cheek and Tebogo chuckled.

"Goodluck. You're going to need it. Alone is all she has
of malome and-she has her faults but she loves Alone
so much."
"I know." He failed. He failed his wife.
"I don't know. Alone is what the family has of malome,
everyone is concerned and-"
Shawn nodded. The Puso family dynamics were
something he loved. He was their son too and it didn't
feel like he didn't have parents when they were around.
He sighed.
𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~87~

At the hospital

Mma Alone stepped inside Alone's hospital room and

her own heart became heavy for her as she saw her
only child connected to machines. She looked around
and saw Shawn who was on his feet.
"Dumelang."
"What happened to her?"
She looked at Alone, her own eyes welling with tears as
she walked closer. This wasn't Alone right?
"The doctor said she was poisoned. She ate at that work
that day."
Mma Alone rubbed her cheek.
"Batho ba FNB ba batla go mpolaela ngwana?"(the
people at FNB want to kill Mt child?"
She sniffed.
"I'm working on finding out who it is,"
"Thank you ngwanaka." He nodded.
"Can I leave you with her for a few minutes so I can talk
to the doctor?"
She nodded and he took his leave.

The door closed leaving Mma Alone with her daughter.

"I don't know the full story but hold on Lolo. You can't
leave me alone with Paris, I'm getting old and she needs
you."
She licked her lips.
"We still have to spend time together. We just mended
our relationship fully, your father will hate me for failing
you again."
Her tears fell on Alone's hand. She was not even
responsive. What kind of poison did they give her
daughter? And why would they try to kill her only child.
"Hold on tlhemma Lolo. Ke a go kopa."(I'm begging you)

She rubbed her daughter's hand and sighed. She

dropped her head to pray silently for Alone.

***

Inside Raphael's office

Mia was sitting opposite her husband as she typed
something in her laptop. She worked best with those
bigger computer systems but this will do. Her phone
rang and she looked at the caller ID. She handed the
phone to Rafe.
"Deal with your little hellion."
Rafe chuckled as he answered the phone just as the
door opened.
"Rhea.."
"Dad? Where is mom?"
"She is a bit busy short stuff."
Rhea huffed.
"I'm not short dad. I'll grow, mama is avoiding me?" Mia
glared at Rafe.
"She is not. She's helping Shawn with a few things."
"Okay. I'll call later then. Tell her I love her."
"I love you too Rhea."
Their daughter laughed.
"Bye." She cut the call as Shawn took a seat.
"I hate that I procreate with you over and over again."
Mia said as she pushed her glasses back.
"Shawn, I'll be Frank. What if it's your psycho ex?"
Shawn rubbed his temples.
"I had no idea she tried to kill herself over me. I've been
so direct, the only person who would have had
understandable reasons to do that was Lorato had she
not cheated because I'm not delude myself and say I
wouldn't have left her the minute Alone showed up."

He rubbed his eyes. He had that urge to remove his

contacts but he settled for a sigh.
"Okay when last did you talk to her?"
"That weekend I came back, saw her at the store and
she-"

He sat upright.
"She said something about me stomping on her love
and how it was easy to move on. Bathong we were
hooking up and I was never looking for anything serious
in Uni."
He rubbed his head.
"There is no reason for her to try and kill my wife. She
had agreed to hooking up. All the nonsense she blurted
about the initials and competing with a ghost the last
time we talked was…odd because I already had the
tattoo and I never made anyone compete with anyone."

Mia raised her head.

"Shawn are you convincing us or yourself because it
seems like you're seeing our point but don't want to
admit it."
"I'm on her profile right now. She recently came out of a
n abusive marriage."
"Why would she be hung up on me? We hooked up
ages ago."
"How long have you been stuck up on Alone?"
Shawn went quiet rubbing the back of his head.
"Even married a scammer. That's rich for you to talk
about things from long ago."
"It's different. I have loved Lolo since we were
teenagers."
Mia rolled her eyes.
"Wa utlwa wa re teenagers? What do teenagers know
about love?"(you're hearing yourself?)
Shawn wasn't going to win this argument.
"And I-bingo."
She squinted and pushed the laptop closer.
"Maybe we are falsely accusing her. At least we didn't do
anything drastic yet. I've managed to hack her phone
since she's still in the hospital. She opened that spam
email I sent her an hour ago."

Shawn blinked. Mia looked so unbuffered.

"I'm trying to retrieve her messages and contacts. And
voice calls…F*ck, let me hack into the system ya
Mascom for this..give me a few minutes."
He took out his phone. Ten minutes passed and Mia
leaned back.

"I got the audios, her Google search history? Guilty."

She showed Shawn the history. He couldn't believe his
eyes.
"Bo 'poisonous drugs' "Mia emphasised. There were
more as she showed her search history on atropine.
"The exact drug we are dealing with right? Batho ke
ditsenwa moo."(people are crazy)
"Sh*t!"
Rafe looked at his wife lovingly. She looked so badass
doing what she loved with ease. He was married to this
gem? F*ck!

"Let's start listening."

She played a recorded phone call. Silence befell the

whole office, Shawn not believing his ears.

Ten minutes later, Shawn was flabbergasted.

"So she probably didn't expect Azania to take the food.
But let's not be impulsive."
Shawn was staring at the computer screen. His wife? All
because of someone who had a silly obsession with him
and she failed to get over it?
"A week. To plan this but let's wait till everyone wakes
up."
"Alone is not finding out the little details." He'll always
protect Alone from seeing the vengeful part of him.
Always. She didn't need to see that or how far he could
go to get his way.
"Got it."
"We have our culprit. Case solved."
"Thank you Mia."
"You are welcome."
He covered his mouth. Merapelo really tried to kill his
wife? What was the end goal? What did she want to
achieve from all of this? He had questions and Merapelo
was going to answer all of them.

His wife lost their baby because of her? Rage blinded

him and he had to calm himself down. Think things
through. Be calm and collected. He said more to himself.
.
.
.
A WEEK LATER
𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆.𝑴𝒆

~88~

At the hospital

That late night, Merapelo walked out of the quiet

hospital. She was now a regular visitor alongside Shawn
who looked like he needed a hug. Her guilt weighed so
much on her as she passed Tebogo who looked
distraught. From what she had gathered, Alone hadn't
woken up.
Azania was awake, thank God for that. She was still a
bit weak but the doctor said in a week's time she'll be
healthy with no complications and would go home to her.
The hospital lights were bright as she stepped into the
dark of the night. She slid out her phone, ten thirty? She
needed to go to sleep and get ready for tomorrow.
Maybe Azania would like a home cooked meal too?
She'll cook in the morning.

With a little hum, she unlocked her car and got in. The
hairs on the back of her neck rose and she looked
around. Seeing nothing but a few cars in the parking lot.
She started the car and connected her phone as she
played gospel music.
The journey to her house was soothing as she reflected
on her decisions. She'll never try to play god in people's
lives. It almost backfired on her, with losing the only
person whom she'd move the mountains for. Now that
Aza was fine and awake, she hoped this little incident
will be forgotten. No one was onto her and it was just
her guilt eating her up.

She slowed down her car and got out to open the gate.
She quickly got inside the car and drove inside the yard.
Gospel music was still blasting in her car, soothing every
little hurt she had experienced. She smiled. Hopefully
Alone will be fine. She went to close the gate before she
got her things from the car.

She hummed the tune that she just cut off, unlocking the
house door. She opened the door and closed it before
she switched on the lights.
She turned and screamed, everything clattering to the
ground as she held her heart.

He got up from the couch and straightened up, his

muscles visible in the long sleeved t-shirt he wore. He
slid his hands in his pockets, taking steps towards her.
"Hello Merapelo."
"Sh-shawn?" She moved back but she was against the
door. Tears filled her eyes, her heart beating like a
sledgehammer in her chest and her blood rushing
through her veins, her fight or flight hormone activated.
"In the flesh." He flashed a smile but it sent shivers
down her spine.
Not the usual butterflies she used to get when he smiled
at her. His eyes were narrowed on her.
"H-how did you get in here?"
He shrugged. Instead of taking a step back, he stepped
forward and she let out a croak.
"Scream and I'll snap your neck!" She slid down the
door, goosebumps on her skin.
"You wanted my attention and you got it. A bit surprised
you did it this way.."
Merapelo shook her head.
"Shawn…I'm sorry."
He raised an eyebrow.
"For what? I didn't even say anything."
Merapelo's hand shook as she tried to bring it up to wipe
her tears.
"My wife Merapelo! My f*cking wife!"
Merapelo cried out loud and the glare he sent her way
was cold enough to freeze hell over and made her cry
silently with a closed mouth.
He stepped back and crouched in front of her with his
hand sout and they were gloved. He roughly held he
face.
"Do you know I'd kill for that woman? I'd walk through
fire for her and any threat to her life is a f*cking sign for
me to f*ck up with anyone who dared to do that."
Merapelo swallowed as his hold tightened and she
couldn't breath trying to swallow down her sobs.
"Why?"
"I-I wanted to hit you where it hurts. I'm sorry. Please
don't kill me."
Shawn chuckled.
"You killed my baby too. Do you know that?"
Merapelo's eyes widened.
"But a life for a life sounds like a fear trade to me."
He let her go with such force making her head hit the
back of the door and she cried more.
"Shawn! Please! I'm sorry.."
"Azania has a bight future ahead of her right? Pity she
won't see the said bright future. Wanting to kill my wife
because of your delusions? Merapelo I will destroy you
and everything you hold dear. Watch me."

He stepped back.
"Goodnight." He side stepped her and walked out.
Merapelo cried into her hands. She touched the back of
her head, feeling blood. She needs to go get Azania and
run…she scrambled off the floor and dizzily walked to
the bedroom. She switched on the lights and she got
such a fright seeing a woman in her bedroom.
"Hi Mera. Mera right?" That was…Mia? She rubbed her
eyes, this was a fever dream.
"You're not seeing things. I do hope you're not planning
on running away."
Mia saw the way her face dropped.

She got up.

"Sweetie, every action has consequences. You can't run
now, you did all that with a sober mind." She walked
closer and Merapelo stepped back crying. Why was she
holding a knife? She's gonna die and dhe didn't want
to…she sniffed.
"You see Shawn is like a little brother to me and I do my
best to take care of the people who I care about. Now,
from here? You're going to run to the police station to
hand yourself in."
Merapelo wiped her tears. She can plead temporary
insanity, she has a medical record of not having okay
mental health.
"Now Now, you're not going to win the temporary
insanity plea. I run this f*cking country and my word is
law, even if you plead it. Ga o ye Sabrana sweetie. Jail
is where you're going and it's going to be hell for you
and no, you won't commit suicide too."
Mia chuckled.
"And you can't escape the country or run. I have eyes
everywhere. Pick your hard, Azania might turn out dead
if you don't follow my instructions. I mean, someone's on
standby. It's not fair she is awake while Alone is still
hooked onto oxygen and can't breath on her own. Bye
bye Mera. Sweet dreams."

Mia walked out and she laughed.

"Don't forget, I run this country. Whatever I say goes,
keep that in mind while you pick the right choice." She
said out loud.

Merapelo heard the door open and close. She slumped

on the floor, letting out a blood curdling scream.

***

Inside Shawn's car, he placed his head on the steering

wheel. Kind of unfair that his wife wasn't awake now but
Azania was…He laughed holding back his tears. It was
his fault that Merapelo was in Alone's life. He licked his
dry lips trying not to break out intl a full sob. The car
door opened and he sucked in a deep breath.
"Shawn, let's have hope. She'll wake up." Mia reassured
him and he nodded. Not really believing that now.
***

At the hospital

In Alone's room, the heart monitor went off as the nurse

rushed in followed by Dr Carmichael. The nurse
worriedly looked at Alone as they stabilised her.
"Will she wake up?"
Rafe looked at Alone. He wasn't sure now. He walked
out and the nurse remained. She looked at Alone who
looked serene. She walled out, switching the lights out.

A minute later, in the dark room Alone's finger twitched.

It was for a brief moment before her finger stopped
twitching and she opened her eyes.

***

At Owame's place, she closed her eyes. A lonely night

yet again.

She Didn't want to call Gofaone but she called him. This
time his phone rang and she held her breath.
She froze right in place hearing breathy moans over the
phone. She slowly moved the phone from her ear and
she checked if she called the right number. It was him.
The moans got louder and she fisted her hand under the
blankets.
"Gofaone?" Her voice was loud and the moans stopped.
She heard him curse in the background. She cut the call
and she didn't know how-

A sniff opened the floodgates of teats as she used her

hands to wipe the tears. Fighting. She gave him three
years of her life. Three faithful years..

Her phone rang and she didn't answer. She silenced it.

***

By some cheap motel somewhere in Gaborone,

Gofaone was already buckling his pants.
"Why the f*ck did you answer my phone?" He roared
and his side girlfriend shrinked back.
"I-i"
"Better pray she doesn't leave me. Or I swear to God-"
She watched him get his things.
"You said you are leaving her…"
Gofaone laughed.
"How could I leave my future wife for a tramp?"
It felt like a slap to the face. Tears filled her eyes as she
pulled the sheets.
"She doesn't get f*cked in cheap motels and she
actually respects herself and doesn't drink every
weekend in bars…nxla!"

He walked out, banging the door and she let the tears
roll. He told her he loved her? That she meant a lot to
him.
She let out a loud sob, followed by another till she let out
a loud wail, her heart breaking a thousand times over.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~89~

Owame was angrily packing her clothes into the

suitcase, she took breaks in between to scream so loud.
Her lungs hurting from the forceful breaths and her heart
a whole mess. He pursued her first…she had been okay
being single and he found her only to do this?

She laughed in disbelief, stopping midway. Her knees

bucked and she held onto the bed, the tears rolling
down her cheeks. Is it because she has no one? Is that
why she is being treated like this?

The bedroom door opened and the cause of her misery

stood in front of her.
"Wame, babe…"
She picked her shoe and threw it at him.
"I trusted you! I trusted you!" Her voice fell into a harsh
whisper.
"I'm so sorry it was a mist-"
"F*ck you Gofaone! F*ck you!" Her scream nearly
deafened his ears.
"Owa-" He took a step closer and she threw another
shoe at him.
"Don't come near me. People are sick. STIs and HIV are
prevalent and y-"
She covered her mouth. He was putting her at risk. He
didn't care about her. A man who cared about her
wouldn't do this.

She didn't know where she was going right this moment
but she was taking her bags and leaving. For good.

She finished packing.

"Owame you are not walking away from me. We'll talk
about th-"
She laughed hysterically.
"I'm walking away. If I had cheated would you want to
talk hng?"
He went silent.
"And because you're a man you would have killed me
and it would have been 'oh she made him do it' 'oh she
shouldn't have cheated'. F*ck you Gofaone. "

He saw the pain flashing in her eyes. He swallowed.

"Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you Owa-"
She pulled her two suitcases, and walked past him
"No you don't."
She walked past the other rooms heading to the door.
"I wanted to marry you. I-"
"I don't care. Saved me from a very painful marriage.
One day I will actually find someone who might treat me
well."

She pulled the door open and the cold breeze hit her.
She was still in her pyjamas and she put the bags
outside. She walled back into the house, going back fro
her handbag and phone. She came back minutes later
and she unlocked the door to her small call. She put her
bags inside.
"Babe, think about how far we've c-"
"Did you think about that? No…goodbye and I hope it
was worth it f*cking over our three year long
relationship."

She wiped her trickling tears and sniffed getting inside

her car. She relaxed in the seat and placed her head on
the steering wheel, letting out a heart wrenching cry and
Gofaone swallowed seeing her break down in the car.
Her car started minutes later and he stood there,
watching her reverse and drive out. Tears filled his own
eyes and he breathed out hard looking at the sky, he lost
her like that. He closed his eyes.

***

The next morning

At the hospital, the nurse quickly found Dr Carmichael in

his office and updated him on the situation. He stood up,
picking up the patient file and following the nurse.

The door to Alone's room opened and she had been

starring at the ceiling for quite sometime.
"Mrs Kgotla." She turned her head and she looked at
Rafe. Her oxygen mask misted over and she sighed.
Lucky for her, the nurse fixed her pillows and helped her
sit up proper. Where was her husband?

Rafe said something to the nurse and she nodded,

walking out.
"Welcome to the land of the living Alone."
She just nodded. He opened the file. There had been
things he found, he wasn't going to tell her about the
miscarriage. Her husband had to deal with that. Alone
flexed her fingers and stretched her hands before she
removed the mask to breath on her own.
"Alone, we ran a few tests and we found out that you
have the cancer gene.".
Alone nodded. Her throat was so dry but she opened
her mouth to speak.

"P-please don't tell Shawn." She begged. She didn't

have the cancer so it was good. Rafe nodded. She didn't
want to hurt Shawn with the what-ifs of cancer. She just
had the gene, she wasn't battling cancer right this
moment so she had time to spend with her loved ones.
He was about to speak when the door opened.
Alone's eyes filled with tears as she looked at Shawn
who was walking over to her.
"Let me give you guys space." Rafe walked out and
Shawn sat by the bed to hold his wife. He kissed the top
of her head as she sniffed.
"I'm here. I'm so sorry angel." His lowered voice
whispered in her ear. How was he supposed to tell her
she lost their baby? And that his ex poisoned her
because she was delusional? He'll take the blame for
those.
He held her tighter. Alone broke the hug. The doctor
didn't tell her why she was here.
Shawn looked at her as she rubbed her eyes.
"What happened?" She asked softly and he swallowed.
She deserved the truth. He took both of her hands in his.
"You know I love you." She nodded, still looking at him.
"And I'd do anything to protect you and keep you safe."
She nodded with that. Shawn kissed her hands and held
them right, he didn't break eye contact with her.
"When you were admitted, we found out you were
poisoned."
Alone frowned. She scrunched her face as she tried to
remember that day. She only had food that Azania
brought-
She lifted her head to look at Shawn with the question
visible in her eyes. Shawn licked his lips. His own heart
beating at the fact that he was telling his wife that his ex
tried to kill her.
"Before that, we…uhm.." He blinked looking down but
rubbing her hands in a comforting manner.
"We…we lost our baby. You were weeks pregnant."
Alone stilled. The tears trickled down her cheeks.
Pregnant. She lost her baby? Her baby? She let go of
his hands and placed a hand over her flat stomach. She
sniffed and tried to not cry more but she lost her baby.
Shawn saw the broken look on her face as the teats
rolled down her dry flushed skin. Alone shook her head.
"No!"
That led to the most heartbreaking cry he's ever heard
from his wife as she shook her head trying not to believe
it.

Alone cried for what could have been. Had her PA not
poisoned her. She looked at her husband.
"W-who did this?"
Shawn rubbed the back of his head, her eyes on him.
Wide and teary.
"I'm sorry my angel okay?"
"Who did this??" She screamed, hurting her own vocal
cords with that action.
"I-" He looked at her. "Azania is the sister to a former
hookup of mine from uni." He breathed out before he
continued. Unable to maintain eye contact with her. "Her
name is Merapelo and she's the one who poisoned you."

He lifted his head to look at Alone. She looked defeated.

She closed her eyes as her lips trembled and she let out
a sob.
"My baby? She wanted to kill me?" He nodded sadly as
her heart broke into pieces. Alone screamed. A minute
later a nurse walked in to find Alone in hysterics.
She had Shawn hold Alone still as she was injected. A
minute later, she had closed her eyes and he kissed her
head as the nurse walked out.
"I'm sorry angel…if I could turn back the hands of time, I
would."
He wiped her cheeks, watching her sleep.

***

Tebogo had received the call from Shawn that Alone

was awake. Finally. As long as her cousin was good.

***

Merapelo sat down just after her sister slept. Azania had
been asking about her boss and if she was fine. Tears
filled Merapelo's eyes. If she didn't go to the police
station, Azania was as good as dead. Her throat clogged
up as she brought her head down and cried.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆
~90~

At the police station

The officer looked at the pretty lady who just dropped by.
His jaw was on the floor.
"You came to report yourself?"
Merapelo nodded.
"You poisoned Mrs Alone Kgotla?"
Merapelo nodded, swallowing. She could tell they didn't
believe her.
"That is a serious crime, you know that? Attempted
murder charges are not lenient."
"Ee rra."
"I took your statement, I'll go interrogate the people
involved. For now you'll be put in a holding cell."
Merapelo agreed.
"Follow me."

She got up and followed the police officer, heart beating

at an unsteady rate.

***
Mma Alone got ready to go see her daughter. Finally she
was awake. Little Paris walked up to her extending her
hands and she picked up her granddaughter.
"Mama o kae?"(where is mama?)
"She'll be home soon okay? Mama is still busy with
work."
Paris held back tears and she rubbed her eyes with her
little fists. Mma Alone held the back of her head.
"She loves you okay?"
"Okay."
She hushed Paris.
"I have to go but I'll be back okay?"
"Papa?" She moved her head back to look at her
grandmother. She sniffed and wiped her face.
"O etla autwe?"(he's coming okay?)
She nodded. Mma Alone rubbed Paris' tears. A few
minutes with Paris won't hurt.

***

At the hospital

The police officers walked into Azania's room and she

was surprised. Are they going to arrest her? She didn't
poison her boss. She'd never do that. She even loved
her boss and loved working for her.
"Azania?" She nodded as one of them took a seat and
she held back tears.
"We are here in regards to Mrs Kgotla's attempted
murder."
Azania felt a huge lump form in her throat.
"You are her PA right?"
"Yes. Of course."
"How long have you been working for her?"
"Almost a year."
"And what could you say your relationship with Mrs
Kgotla was like?"
"She is a great boss and I respect her. I-"
One of them noted something down.
"Did you have an agenda against Mrs Kgotla?"

She shook her head.

"No. Never."
"Do you know someone who'd have an agenda against
her?"

She shook her head. She didn't know anyone.

"Tell us what happened the day you were
admitted…from the time you woke till you ended up in
hospital."
Azania closed her eyes, her mind taking her back to
that. She slowly narrated everything she remembered to
her buying the food which was something she usually
got for her boss to that being their only meal and her
feeling her head become dizzy and blacking out.

The officer looked at her.

"You left the food in the car with your sister?"
"Yes. It was not the first time, I usually drop my bags first
and come get the food I bought from the cafè."
"Ms, do you know that your sister knows Mrs Kgotla's
husband?"
Azania's eyes widened as she shook her head. She had
no idea.
"She poisoned the food."
The police officer said matter-of-factly.
"She handed herself in and it was a revenge plan
against Mr Kgotla. You got caught up in the mix and an
unsuspecting accomplice to the attempted murder of
Mrs Kgotla"

Azania's head rang. Accomplice? Her sister? Merapelo

did this? She covered her mouth as tears rolled down.
This was scary…her sister?
"Maybe it's all wrong? Merapelo would never do this.."
The officer shrugged.
"Thank you for your statement. You'll be updated and
told of the trial. Speedy recovery."

He stood up and the two he had come with followed him

out. Azania was left shell shocked. This was a cruel joke
right? Merapelo? Murder? Maybe her sister had a twin
because that's not Merapelo.

In the same floor, the officers walked to Alone's room

and knocked.
"Come in."

They opened the door and they found the gentleman

they assumed was Mr Kgotla. They looked at the
machines hooked onto the lady who had her eyes
closed.
"Mr Kgotla." Shawn nodded.
"Will it be possible to ask your wife a few questions once
she wakes up?"

He looked at Alone and he nodded.

"Can you step out so we can talk?"
"Of course." He let go of Alone's hand and he walked to
the door, where they were standing and he folded his
arms. Tebogo passed them as she walked into Alone's
room.

She sat down on the warm chair and took Alone's hand.
"Glad you're okay. You gave all of us a fright."

Alone slowly opened her eyes, her body heavy. The light
blinded her and she breathed out, misting her oxygen
mask and Tebogo got up to fix the pillow.
"Hey, do you need anything?"
Alone shook her head and she removed the oxygen
mask, jer chest closing in. She lost her baby..
"My…" her lips trembled as she sniffed, the tears rolling
down on their own.

"Lolo?" Tebogo sat next to her as she hugged her.

"I lost my baby!"
Tebogo looked at Lolo? She was pre-yoh!
"It's going to be fine."
She rubbed her back.
"I want my babyyy!" Her voice cracked.
Tebogo sighed. Whoever did this? They were going to
pay. If it was Alone's PA, she was going to drag that girl
in court.
"I'm so sorry. You're alive and you can try for another
baby…"
"I-I want my babyyy!"
"Ssshhh…"
The hospital door opened and Mma Alone looked at
Tebogo comforting Alone.
"I-" Alone's chest felt heavy. It was hard to breath. She
wheezed and Tebogo broke the hug, putting the oxygen
mask back on her face so she can breath. Her uncle's
wife looked at her then Alone. Taking a few steps closer.

Alone's tears didn't stop. She looked up, still crying.

Outside, Shawn had heard her crying. His own heart

breaking and resisting the urge to have Azania killed,
hearing his wife cry like that…

***

At Owame's office, she couldn't concentrate on her

orders for the day. She closed her eyes.
Was it because she was an orphan? Was it her skin
tone maybe? Didn't she satisfy him in bed?

Tears filled her eyes. Maybe something was wrong with

her. She was tempted to ask to see who he was
cheating on her with. She pushed her books back and
covered her face with her hand, crying silently. Was it
her looks? Or the way she dressed? Maybe there was
something wrong with her.

She cried more, her little sobs making her chest beat
hard.

There was a door knock and she quickly had to

compose herself. She wiped her tears and rubbed her
eyes. She swallowed and looked down at her hooks.
She pulled them closer before clearing her throat.
"Come in."

The door opened as she looked up.

"Get out!"
"Babe I just want to ta-"
"Gofaone get out!" She screamed at him. He took a
minute to look at her, seeing how much of a mess she
looked like, his guilt started to eat at him.
"Get out!" She screamed picking up the stapler and it
missing his head by an inch.
He quickly opened the door and got out. Owame cried
and screamed into her hands. It hurt so much.

***

Inside the holding cell, Merapelo had her head on her

knees. She didn't like this, she only wa-
She didn't know what she wanted but it had never been
this. She didn't want them to kill Azania. She shouldn't
lose her life over her dumb decisions.

She licked her dry lips, closing her eyes as she resigned
herself to her fate
.
.
.
TWO MONTHS LATER

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~91~
Two months later

At Court

It had been a long week at court, everyone stood up as

the judge walked in. They all sat down after the judge.
Shawn held Alone's hand, rubbing circles on her wrist.
Alone still couldn't grasp the wrong she did. She didn't
understand how someone could plan to hurt someone
who didn't do anything. Anything at all. If Merapelo had a
problem she should've addressed Shawn.

She did listen to what Shawn had to say and she didn't
know where she entered in this. She breathed out as
Merapelo sat next to her lawyer. She looked cold. Like
someone who didn't regret what she did and was okay
with whatever sentence she gets.

Azania sat a few seats behind Alone and her family. She
held back tears. Why couldn't Merapelo heal? Azania
lost her job. She had laughed and cried because of her
sister. She admitted that she did that and was sorry that
she almost killed Azania.

She placed her hands on her lap as she lifted her head
to wait for the verdict. She took a deep breath, she was
sure her sister was going to prison but she was hoping
for a lighter sentence even though she doubted it. By
the witness stand, it was proven and medical records
showed that her sister killed Alone's foetus who
according to law has its own rights and the right to life
being one of them. She could imagine the pain Alone
had been in, she probably regretted hiring her. She had
tried to apologise these past few weeks but her
apologies had been met with coldness and just one
word answers.

Merapelo didn't look back, Azania was safe. She'll be on

prison for over a decade and she'll get out. She'll pick
herself up. These past two months she wished more
than ever that Alone had died. Why was she going to jail
when she was alive? This could have been forgotten if
her sister had not been used as threat. She shifted her
head and her former therapist shook her head. She
faced forward. In her next life, she'll let things go and
really heal. Work on herself.

"With the case of Modise Vs Kgotla, Ms Merapelo

Modise is found guilty of the murder of Mrs Alone
Kgotla's child and guilty of attempted murder of Mrs
Kgotla."

The court fell into silence.

"Ms Modise is sentenced to eighteen years in prison
with no chance of parole or another court hearing." He
hit his hammer and just like that court was over.

Merapelo swallowed. Two decades in prison. Her eyes

glazed over as she searched for Azania who stood up
immediately after the judge left. She didn't miss Shawn's
glare and it sent shivers down her spine. She stole a
glance at Alone who shook her head. She was
indifferent and there was no smile on her face. She
turned her head to look at her more closely. The life was
gone from her eyes even as Shawn held her. She tired
her eyes away as Azania went up to hug her before she
was chained and escorted out of court.
"I'll visit."
Merapelo let out a little sniff.
"Mera you didn't have to do this. You could have moved
cities."
Merapelo let the tears drop as she held Azania tight.
She won't be allowed to hug her sister like this ever
again.
"I'm so sorry."
She said into Azania's neck. Azania let out a soft sob,
hugging her sister tighter.
"I hate what you did but you're my sister. I'll always love
you Mera."
Mera nodded. She had handed herself to the police for
Azania's sake.

Azania broke the hug and wiped her tears as her sister
was escorted out with those chain handcuffs. Azania
waved at Merapelo, her tears free flowing. Two
decades? God…

She sniffed and looked up.

Meanwhile Shawn held his wife who was softly crying

into his chest.
"Anything you need angel, I'm here okay?" Alone
nodded. Even if Merapelo got that sentence it wasn't
going to bring her baby back. It wasn't going to make
everything okay. She really hit where it hurt that's for
sure.
"I'm sorry angel." He kissed her head and lifted her head
to him. He wiped her tears away.
"We are in this together okay?"
Alone nodded.
"She won't win, I won't let her angel. I promise."
Shawn assured his wife. It was time to hit Merapelo
where it really hurt.

Alone sniffed and kissed his lips with a teary smile.

"I love you autwe?"
She nodded. Even in their worst moments, she felt his
love. She couldn't blame him for the actions of an
unstable woman but a part of her wished Shawn didn't
know Merapelo. They would be getting ready to
welcome their baby.

He led her out of the courtroom and cameras started

flashing.
"Mr Kgotla are you happy with the verdict? Mrs Kgotla
how do you feel now that justice has been served?"
Shawn shielded his wife from them, protecting her with
his body as they walked past the swarm of reporters and
he dodged the mics that were trying to get in his face.
He led them safely to the car and opened the door for
her. She got inside and sucked in a deep breath. There
was a knock on their car window and Shawn rolled down
the window. Alone extended her hand to hold Tebogo's
hand.
"I'm here okay? To talk and all."
Alone nodded. Tebogo rubbed her hand.
"You got justice and I know it won't make a difference
but at least she'll spend her life behind bars. It's
something."
"I know. Thank you and I'll call you. Tebogo thank you so
much."
"Anything for you. Let me head back to work. Bye guys."
Shawn nodded and he rolled the window back up before
starting the car.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and he took the call.

"Kgotla hello?"
He nodded as he reversed out if the parking spot.
"Thank you."

The call cut and he placed his hand on Alone's thigh.

She placed he hand over his as she breathed out.

***

Owame hummed as she opened the curtains. She had

slept in but it was a good day. She was healing and
doing things she loved. Her business had got more
customers and she had been given her plot. That was
something to look forward to. Building her own house
from scratch and having a place to call home.

She played her song on the connected Bluetooth

speaker she had in her room.

And, oh, but she's so brave, though

Just like a tornado
She's taking us by storm
You can't stop the girl from going
You can't stop the world from knowing
The truth will set you free, oh
You can't stop the girl from going
You can't stop the world from knowing
The truth will set you free, oh
You can't stop the girl

She grinned as she let the sun shine in her face, a new
day.

***

Azania drove in the Gaborone traffic, this GD6 was

bittersweet. Her sister was locked up just like that? She
played music. She moved her head. Maybe she should
leave the city an-

She honked as she tried to brake but the brakes weren't

working. She stepped on them trying but the truck was
coming directly at her. She screamed as her life flashed
in front of her eyes and the truck collided with the GD6.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆
~92~

People gathered by the accident scene as the sirens

rang and the truck driver got out of the car. His eyes
glistened with moisture. The car was crashed beyond
repair. Some people took out their phones to take videos
while some updated their statuses.
"Yoh!" One man exclaimed, seeing the head sticking
out. This was truly sad. Another lady went over to vomit,
she couldn't take the gore and the messed up scene. No
one deserved to die this way.

The driver held his head. He tried to move but the truck
was so big to try and swerve on impulse.
"Jesus!" He muttered. The scene was absolutely
heartbreaking and so sad.

The ambulance and police parked close and they got

out of their cars. They took a moment to stop and
absorb the whole scene. It was so sad.

They then advanced towards the car and seeing the

lifeless head sticking out and-
One of the police officers talked to the truck driver who
explained the situation and what happened. It all
happened so fast and there was no time.

***

Alone cuddled with Paris who breathed against her

chest. She kissed her head. She had been off social
media these past two months and she couldn't even go
to the office. She breathed out. This little girl got all her
attention and she won't lie and say she wasn't using her
little girl to heal. She always had to hold Paris or kiss her
all over to remind herself that she still had a healthy little
girl whom she loved dearly. At least that Merapelo didn't
come close to Paris. She didn't think she would have
survived that.
"I love you, okay Paris?" She whispered.

Shawn stood by the door watching his best girls. He'd

do anything for them. Did they know that? Anything to
take away their pain. Anything to keep them safe.
He walked into the room and sat by the bed. He kissed
her head and she smiled as he ruffled her hair as she
giggled.
"Okay…we'll put this behind us. It happened and we
have to move on. Ga re na choice tota."(we don't have a
choice)
"Ee mma."
He half hugged her as his phone rang.
"Let me answer this for a second."

He got the phone out of his pocket and stepped out of

the bedroom.
"Shawn?"
"Yeah?"
"Our plans have changed." He frowned. How? It was a
solid plan. He hated mistakes especially when it came to
things like this.
"The car you asked me to trail.."
He walked down the stairs with one hand in his pocket.
"Yes? Akere the plan was solid, it was going to be
masked as a midnight robbery later tonight."
He said as a matter-of-fact. He was sure that by
tomorrow there'd be news about a robbery gone wrong
somewhere. It was solid guessing that Merapelo's house
had the poorest security. It was going to be easy.
"It just got into an accident."
"As in now?"
"Thirty minutes ago. She didn't survive."
He rubbed his jaw.
"Yoh! Okay. But though our plan fell through, I'll still pay."
"Sure. Nice doing business with you."
"Likewise."
"Shawn?"
"Huh?"
"Where do you get these crazy women? First it was your
ex wanting to scam you and you had me threaten her to
sign papers and now I had to go fake a robbery to hurt
your exes sister."
He shrugged.
"Beats me."
"What if your wife goes psycho on you?"

His eyes went up to the stairs.

"That one can go psycho on me any day. I don't mind."
"You're whipped. Sharp."

The call cut. He didn't even have to do a thing and it just

happened? And he didn't think to that extent. He had
been thinking leaving Merapelo's sister a cripple
because he could see that Merapelo didn't even regret
harming his wife. Even if she was in jailHer only trigger
was Azania. But anyways…whoever hit her car? Good
job he guessed.

He shrugged. This chapter was closed. Like his wife

said. He walked back upstairs to his family.
***

Tebogo rubbed her still flat tummy. She didn't want to

mention it to her cousin, afraid that she'll trigger her
since she recently just lost her child. She sighed as she
scrolled down social media.

She quickly put her phone away. What was wrong with
people and posting accident scenes? Didn't they have
some decency to at least allow the authorities to let the
family know instead of spreading it all over social
media? She groaned and exited the Facebook app.

"Fenyi?"
"Coming." She laid on the couch sprawled like a cat
waiting for her husband. He came and she smiled.
"I need a massage."
Mofenyi laughed.
"You're not even showing and you're bossing me
around? Tebogo?"
"Your child wants it. It's fine."

He picked his wife up and she giggled.

"Then let's give you that massage then."
She nodded with a happy smile.

***

Owame walked through the offices trying to remember

which office she was directed to as Lorato's. She
stopped in front of an office. She took a deep breath
before she knocked on the door.
"Come in."

She walked inside the office and Lorato looked up from

her desk with a little smile and so much genuineness in
her eyes.
"Hi. This is a pleasant surprise. Take a seat."

Owame sat down and they were quiet for a few seconds
before Lorato started speaking.
"I'm so glad you got to come here and it means a lot that
you're here."
Owame nodded. It didn't sound like the Lorato she knew
even when her sister was apologising. Life maybe did
humble her and she is a better person now.
"I…" She looked around.
"I needed someone to talk to."
Lorato nodded. It was a start.
"Okay. I'm here..let me write my number too."

She wrote down her number and handed it to Owame.

"That way you won't come to the office unless you want
to but I can also show you my place."
"What happened to the real Lorato?"
Lorato laughed.
"Life happened. It humbled me so bad but we move and
learn right? We don't stay depressed for the what ifs and
the could haves. We have to move and do our best to
stay happy."
Owame smiled.
"I like that. Is there room for your twin sister in that
happy bubble?"
Lorato nodded with a grin.
"Always Owame. Always."
Owame rubbed her tears away and she smiled.

***

That night at the prison, Merapelo was escorted out of

her cell in her orange jumpsuit. She frowned wondering
what she did. She behaved and was waiting for next
week so her little sister can visit.
"What did I do?" She asked quietly.
"Nothing. It's something you need to know."

She sat down as one of the correctional officers looked

at her.
"We just received a phone call Ms Modise."
She nodded. Not quite following but waiting to get the
bigger picture.
"Your sister…Azania…"
Now Merapelo'd heart started racing. What was wrong
with Aza? She was in jail so that she is safe. She
breathed out. Trying to be calm.
"She was involved in a horrifying accident.."
"Oh no!" Tears welled in her eyes ans she wiped them
away.
"She died on the spot."
Merapelo's heart stopped. What?
"What? She was fine this morning."Her voice trembled.
"Yes. From the information we received, she didn't quite
get out of the way as a truck drove into her car."

Merapelo felt her body fail her. Her sister? The only
thing that mattered? Gone.
"It wasn't orchestrated?" She had to know. Maybe they
killed her sister and if they did, they won. God!
"No."
That no solidified things. The world was cruel. The
universe was playing a wicked game on her because the
person she wanted karma on didn't get it but she got her
karma…

She laughed hysterically with tears in her eyes. She got

the karma for trying to kill Alone. God really had
favourites.

"Ms…"
Her laugh turned into a painful cry. She killed her sister.
It was her fault. Sue did this to someone who had a
bright future ahead of her. She'd never forgive herself for
this.
.
.
.
TWO YEARS LATER

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~93~

Two years later

Alone rubbed her tummy as she pulled her cap down.
The FNB marathon was now over and she couldn't wait
to go home. Had she ever hired another PA? No and it
was heartbreaking that Azania died in a car accident.
She was a bright individual even if she had fired her.

She held onto her drink as she looked around waiting for
her husband to come pick her. He insisted and she
wasn't complaining. She sat by a nearby chair and
sipped her drink. Her little FNB tote bag on her shoulder.
Her nose was too big and she hated it so much but she
had wished and prayed for these babies so…
"Alone?"
She turned her head to whoever was calling. She had to
remove her cap to see the person. The man stood there
with with his water bottle as sweat shone on his
forehead.
"Hi??" He could see she didn't remember him. It was in
that cute little scrunch on her face and how she squinted
her eyes. Cute.
The face was familiar but she wasn't good with
recognising faces she didn't see on occasion.
"Kaone.."
Her mind went through a lot of hoops trying to remember
the name and her history with the name.
"Oh..Kaone. Hi."
He chuckled stepping closer.
"You already forgot me? Geez!"
She rolled her eyes as she finished her drink and placed
the can down.
He looked at her pregnant body, her breasts full and he
could see them through that t-shirt she wore.
"You're pregnant…"
He wasn't the social media type and he saw the rings on
her finger. Someone married her? The baddie type he
was advised by his friends not to marry because what
do these ladies know about building a home? Yes she
was smart but he didn't trust himself walking around with
a woman like that. A woman men wanted and a woman
who didn't want to be told to behave a certain way or
wear a certain way. She had curves and it had shown in
the little pencil skirts she wore when she was on her
internships. Those tight dresses. He had been secretly
insecure and the funny thing? She was temptation
personified and she damn well knew it. Knew that and
she didn't hide that she knew she was beautiful than
most.
"Yes." She answered as she slowly stood up. Still
beautiful as ever though. He recently came back to the
country. To start afresh and that marriage of his? It only
lasted less than a year and she decided that being a
wife and bearing kids wasn't her thing.
"You stay in the country?"Alone picked her cap. It was
too hot and she had a doctor's appointment tomorrow.
"Nka nna kae gape?"(where would I stay?)
He laughed rubbing his mustache
"You're still beautiful. You know we never broke up?"
Alone eyed him.
"Now I'm back, o tswa go ntirela ngwana?(you made a
child for me?) I have no problem being a stepdad.."

She rolled her eyes and he chuckled stepping closer to

her. Unlike him she didn't run and he could smell the
sweet perfume she had on. Sweet like her if his memory
served him well.

Like the hippo she was, she stepped back but it took a
lot of effort, these twins were heavy ans her back was
going through it.
"Don't try me. I'm married."
He laughed licking his lips.
"So I can try you if you aren't married?"
Alone groaned in frustration.
"That's not what I-you know what, nice bumping into
you. Bye."

She turned and he could see her behind, swaying as

she walked a bit slower. He tilted his head, ideas filling
it. Besides that was just a ring and Alone had asked only
one thing from him. Loyalty and attention.
He watched her disappear and he took the direction she
had been heading to.

Alone removed her phone from the bag and tried to call
her husband. It immediately sent her to voicemail.
"Kgotla? Where are you?"
She groaned in frustration. She breathed out.

She went through her contacts and sighed. Tebogo was

working day and night on a certain case and she didn't
want to distract her. Kagiso and Fiona were on vacation
in Cape Town, that's why KJ was home right now with
Paris. She pinched her nose bridge. Shawn promised
when he dropped her off. It was irritating enough that he
didn't even stay with her for the whole marathon now he
wasn't picking up?

She clicked her tongue as she tried calling him again. It

sent her to voicemail again.
"Shawn? Babe I'm losing my patience…"

She sent the voice message and paced back and forth,
well paced as much as her swollen feet could let her.
Kaone saw her and the frustration on her face was
visible. He walked to her.
"You look angry?"
She glanced over at him. She was hungry and ever
since that incident, she refrained from eating food she
didn't buy herself and she preferential packaged food.
That meant she made her own coffee at work and would
rather carry a lunchbox to work. That's how cautious she
was being.
"I'm fine. Go away."
He stood there, wiping his face and he gulped down the
rest of his water. Alone tried calling Shawn again. It sent
her to voicemail

"Hi boss.."
She turned her head and smiled at their new intern.
"Hi. Did you enjoy the race?"
"I was there for the pictures."
She laughed.
"Of course you were."

She turned to face the other way.

"Is it anything I can help with?"
"No."
He folded his arms. She was a stubborn little thing.
Alone who hasn't used a cab in years went onto
Facebook to search for cabs but what if they kill her or…
"F*ck!" Tears filled her eyes. Kaone's eyes widened.
"And why are you crying? Tla ga gotwe ke ntse ke betsa
moimana."(they might say I beat a pregnant woman.)

She wiped her tears away as she tried calling her

husband again. It wasn't going through.

"Alone? Do you need a hug? A shoulder to cry on? Why

are you crying?"

She sighed and rubbed her eyes.

"I'm fine. A okay."
He wasn't buying that. Her hands went to the locket on
her neck and he swallowed.
"You got another locket?" He never got to open the
locket that was always around her neck, he assumed it
was for her father because she did say her dad died
when she was younger and her aunt was battling
cancer.
"How is your aunt by the way?"

More tears filled Alone's eyes. She was being over

emotional right now.
"I-I'm sorry." He tried to hug her but she stepped back.
"I'm not going to jump you Alone, you are in distress
right now."

He pulled her to him to hug her. F*ck she smelled so

good.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~94~

Alone quickly broke the hug and wiped her tears away.
"Thanks…I guess."
He smiled.
"Was it something I said?"
"Aunt Meme is late."
He went quiet. Oh. Sh*t!
"I'm so sorry, I didn't know."
"Yeah. I know."

She sighed and rubbed her face again. She tried her
husband again and it wasn't going through.
"You're by the parking. Are you waiting for someone?"
She looked at her ex. He was here acting as if he didn't
marry someone behind her back. She chuckled. Get a
hold of your emotions Lolo.
"Kind of."

He looked around. There was no car coming and she

looked frustrated. She wasn't supposed to be standing.
If he could take a guess he'd say she's seven or eight
months along, judging by the size of her stomach.
"I can drop you off home."
"It's fine. Thanks for the offer though."

She pushed her hair back and wore the cap. That man?
Her husband? He was going to get a piece of her mind.
She swore.
"I won't jump you Alone."
She looked at him and sighed. She should go back and
sit down.
"It was nice bumping into you. Bye."
She turned her back and he followed her.
"Alone, you're acting as if I did something wrong."

Alone, the hug which was already out of her mind and
one she didn't even term as cheating looked at him. Her
emotions changed like the Gaborone weather. One
minute she was smiling, the next angry and another she
was crying.
"You're a fine one to say.."
"Eleore…"
"Imagine finding out your boyfriend was getting married
on Facebook after he spent the night with you?
Nonsense."
He paused.
"You knew? Ah…"
"Eleore why did you think you were blocked?"
She rolled her eyes.
"It's over and I changed."

He looked at her wrist. That tattoo. She had said it's her
father's birthday and she really loved her father. Now it
had the year added to it. That was new.
"You still have the tattoo."
She shrugged.
"And I lied about it."
He stopped in his tracks.
"What?"
"I love my father but it's not his birthday."
He caught up to her. Why was she walking fast for
someone who looked so heavy? He wished all pregnant
women would be beautiful like her but not everyone was
Alone Puso..
"Your aunt?"
"My husband."
He frowned.
"You knew him when we were dating?"
She shrugged. She kept on walking. God was she going
to kill said husband when he gets his behind her.
Strangle him in his sleep even.
"You never mourned our relationship?"
"Would you mourn a married man?"
"I want you."
"I'm not a backup plan you guys want when your
marriages don't work or when you need a side chick."

She took a risk on being Shawn's side chick because

she is still in love with his blind behind. She was getting
angry the more she thought of him. She took out her
phone calling him and he finally answered.
"Mma Kgotla…"
"Mma Kgotla my behind, ng ng ha o kake wa- you know
what, get your blind self here. Nna wa ntena tlherra.
Why o sa nkarabe? Hng?"
She heard him go silent.
"Angel, calm down..breath in and out.."
She rolled her eyes.
"O ka breather in and out o imelwa ke mpa? Shawn
wee?"
"Ma?"
"It's not funny and you owe me an apology."
"Ee mma." He humbled himself.

"Alone?" Kaone said outlook and she shut him a glare.

"Who was that?"
"A stranger I bumped into. Are you coming?"
"Ee mma. I'm in the car as we speak."
"Good. Shawn keore-"

She pinched her nose bridge.

"I understand. Intshwarele."
"We'll talk."
"Ee mma. Nka drop'a?"(can I hang up?)
"Yes."

He cut the call as she looked around for a nearby chair.

He followed her like a lost puppy. Her change in moods
for the last few minutes was rapid.
"So I'm a stranger?"
She shrugged. Her mouth was dry and she could feel
the hunger pangs. She called him again.
"Mma Kgotla…"
"Bring food too."
"Ee mma. What would you like?"
She listed it and she hoped he was listening.
"Ee mma. I'll be there okay?"
"Okay."

She cut the call. Kaone couldn't help but wonder who
the Shawn was and when she said Mma Kgotla, was it
the Shawn he had in mind.
"A stranger Alone? Whose had sex with you before,
mind you."
"The Alone from years back is not the same one so
yes…"

She placed the tote bag on her stomach.

"You're still beautiful and the Alone from years back
didn't show the qualities of being a mother.."
She scoffed but that comment hurt her. She always
wanted to be a mother. At the right time and for the right
man.
"Why would you let a child hold you down when you're
bright. From what I gathered you are one of the higher
rankings in FNB, you could have gone higher if you
didn't have a child."
"Are you convincing me or yourself? Is that what your
wife said to you? That a child will hold her back?" She
tilted her head and he licked his lips at the accuracy.
"Women are different. Having a partner who supports
your dreams as well as being an ever present parent too
facilitates a woman's growth."
She has achieved so much whilst being married.
Bearing Shawn's children didn't stop her. She was still
moving up the ladder and also involved in their little
start-ups for their babies. A nice legacy for the kids so
they wouldn't have to struggle if it happened that she
and Shawn died prematurely.

During one of their deep talks, her husband had

admitted doing that for their kids because life is not
guaranteed. His parents' death still affected him and she
wanted to talk about having the cancer gene but
decided against it. She didn't have cancer and telling
him would cause unnecessary worries.
She focused on the topic at hand.
"If your wife said that, shouldn't you assess yourself.
Maybe the problem is you and not her."

He rubbed his jaw. Still opinionated alright. The things

that used to make him question her being a wife made
him want her again. Or was it because she was married
and pregnant and it appealed to him. Seeing something
he only wished he could have?

He sighed.
"We'll see each other around?"
"I doubt." She said sweetly and he laughed. "I still love
you kana Alone."
"It's probably lust…"
He smiled slyly.
"No it's not. I know myself."
She rolled her eyes as he walked away laughing.

***

Tebogo rubbed her eyes as she highlighted a few key

points in the case file.

She checked the time. Perks of being a lawyer. This was

the part she hated the most. She won't lie.

The knock on the door was a well needed break for her
as she closed the file.
"Come in."
She fixed her smile. Surprised about who would show
up to her office on a Saturday. A man who looked to be
well into his Kate fifties walked in and she still had her
smile in place.
"Tebogo?"
His accent threw her off completely. He wasn't a
Motswana?
"Yes."
"Good afternoon, can I take a seat?"
"Of course. How may I assist you?"
She looked at him and he smiled taking out his wallet.
He removed a picture and he placed it on the table. Her
eyes bulged. That was her mother.
"Is Meme your mother? You look so much like her."
She nodded with a lump in her throat. Seeing her
mother's pictures still got her teary.
"Uhm-yes…do you need representation? I don't thi-"
"I'm…" He looked up, her eyes shining with tears.
Tebogo busied herself with piling up her files.
"It has taken me a long time and a lot of investigation to
find you."
Her eyebrows scrunched.
"I'm your father."

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆
~95~

Tebogo laughed. This was some funny joke right? She

placed her hand over her mouth.
"Can we get to the real reason you're here?"

She chuckled and looked at him but he wasn't laughing.

"You're serious?"
"Yes."
"My father?"
She shook her head.
"I don't have a father. What do you mean?" A thirty four
year old? Knowing her father now? What foolishness
was this?
"Tebogo, I am being serious. We can do dna tests an-"
She stopped him.
"I don't want a father. Where were you all these years?
Three decades you weren't there and I'm supposed to
jump for joy that yay! Yipee! I have a father now?"
She didn't shift her eyes from him and she was Meme
through and through. His throat went dry. Not knowing
how he should explain himself.
"Teb-"
"Well whoever you are, I'm sorry to disappoint you but
I'm fine. I don't need a father. I long stopped wanting
one."
He swallowed. He took out his card and placed it on the
table.
"I know you're surprised but when you're calm and in a
state to talk, give me a call. It was nice meeting you
Tebogo."

He got up and walked out. Tebogo huffed with anger.

The audacity. To show up out of the blue, out of f*cking
nowhere like a ghost to tell her that?

She looked up with tears in her eyes. She rubbed her

eyes and breathed out. The more she breathed out the
more she got angry, her face going red. She picked up
her phone and called Alone.

"Alone, hello."
"Hi Lolo, how are you? How are the boys treating you?"
"I'm a mess, look like a hippo everyday but I'm alive."

Tebogo picked the card and read the name. Her chest
heavy as the anger made her close her eyes to take a
deep breath.
"Tebogo? Are you okay?"
"You wouldn't believe what just happened."
"What?"
"My 'alleged father's showed up."

Alone laughed. It was the laugh that would make one cry
if they were too sensitive.
"Waaka nnaka!"(you're lying)

Alone wiped her tears. Her cousin didn't have a dad.

Everyone knew that. Their uncles were their father
figures and they were okay with that.
"I wish…stop laughing. O kubu tla ga o wa."(you're a
hippo you might fall.)
"Mxm! Wait…o serious? A father? At your big age? Not
that it's wrong to have a dad and all but where was he?"
"My exact question. I chased that man out. Ke tenegile
gore Alone."(I'm so angry)

Tebogo got up from her chair and walked up and down

the office, her mind no longer on her case.
"He showed me some dusty picture of him and mama
and was like are you Meme's daughter? Like where
would mom get another daughter."
"Tebogo breath. You said all that without breathing."
She closed her eyes and with her hands fanned her hot
face. Her intake of breath Wass loud, an indication to
Alone that she was trying to breath.
"Now you can speak. From the beginning."
Tebogo narrated the brief interaction.
"Okay. It's so weird that he shows up now but didn't it
ignite your curiosity?"
She supposed it did.
"I-you know it did."
"Look into him. Hire a PI or something and also meet
with him. To ask questions while calm. Also the dna test
mentioned, try that. Not with his doctor, have a doctor
you trust run the blood test and then take it from there."
Tebogo rubbed her eyes.
"Isn't thirty four years later a little too late?"
"You tell me, if you want s father you'll let him in. If you
don't at least you know you got a dad somewhere out
there."

It was something to think about it.

"I'll talk to Mofenyi too and hear what he thinks. Let me
go home."
"Alright. Congrats? I guess on finding your dad, he didn't
run away with the milk I guess."
Tebogo laughed.
"Wa ntena Lolo."(you annoy me)
"Go sharp mma, monna wame wa letsa."(bye, my man
is calling)
"Okay and thank you."
"Anytime."

She cut the call and breathed out. Daddy issues? At her
old age?

***

Alone answered Shawn's call.

"Abou time. Are you here?"
"Ee mma. In the parking lot, I'm getting out of the car
right now."
"Okay. I'll be waiting."
She cut the call and breathed out. Kaone who had been
socialising with people there, making connections and
all as per what people usually do at these events kept
an eye on Alone. She looked less irritable now and
happy? He's never dealt with a pregnant woman before
so he wouldn't know.
In the parking lot, Shawn pushed his glasses back. He
counted to ten as he locked the car, one would think he
was nervous but the only person who was stressing him
was his pregnant wife because her moods during this
pregnancy? Unpredictable. He headed to where tents
were set. His very beautiful wife was not happy with him
and he understood that, if it was up to him he would've
been here with her and he wouldn't be late to pick her
up. The closer he walked, he looked around. He spotted
her in her FNB cap and the t-shirt. He walked towards
her and she smiled getting up when she saw him. He
opened his arms for her and she smiled as she walked
into his embrace. She smelt his cologne and held his t-
shirt even if her tummy made the hug awkward. He
removed her cap and kissed the top of her head.
"Hi angel."
"Hi." He breathed her in before he lifted he chin and she
looked into his eyes.
"I'm sorry Mma Kgotla." He whispered with a low deep
voice and she closed her eyes.

Don't think about sex Lolo! Don't think about sex Lolo!

Shawn chuckled as she opened her eyes, the love in her

eyes replaced by lust.
"Not now baby, I still have to update you."
"You can update me while you're inside of me." He
muttered a f*ck, his tongue on the inside of his cheek as
he rubbed her chin.
"You were angry with me not so long ago."
"I'm allowed to get make-up sex kana is it because of
my stomach and weight? Kana Shawn-"
He placed a finger on her lips as he looked around.
Everyone was busy.
"It's not that. Ready to go?"
"Let me get the tote bag on the chair.." He didn't let her
go. She walked besides him, his hand on her lower back
and her feeling content that he was here.

Kaone rubbed his jaw. It was the Shawn he had been

thinking of. He looked at Alone who seemed happy as if
she hadn't been shouting at Shawn or an emotional
wreck some time ago.

Shawn got the tote bag and he put the cap on her head.
Alone held his bicep as they walked away. One of the
people who was talking to Kaone started speaking.
"They are a lovely couple aren't they?"
"S-sure…"
"I was surprised he wasn't with her today, he always
comes along to support her and vice versa..I know we
are looking from the outside in but it looks like a lovely
marriage."
He choked and cleared his throat.
"I'm sure. I have to go."
"Of course. Nice talking to you. We should do golf some
times to discuss further business."
"That we will. How about next week Saturday?"
"That's fine by me."

Kaone walked away and he also headed to the parking

lot. He saw the car door being opened for Alone and she
giggled as he held her waist making sure she was in the
car. He didn't miss him kissing her and her wrapping her
arms around his neck. He closed the door and he
casually strolled to his car while Shawn got in the
passenger seat.

He buckled her up and he turned in his seat to get the

food from the back. He placed the paper bag on her
thighs.
"I got what you ordered."
"Thank you…Now let's talk about you not answering
your phone."
She opened the bag, a little smile on her face and he
placed a hand on her thigh as he started the car.
"Ke kopa maitshwarelo Mma Kgotla."(I'm sorry Mrs
Kgotla)
"The reason? You promised to pick me up on time
Shawn."
"I know. The meeting went on longer than I anticipated
angel."
She sighed.
"And they were driving a hard bargain on what I
wanted."
"Which is?" He turned back and extended his hand to
the back. He got the envelope and handed it to Alone.
She didn't even open the food but she opened the
envelope.

She took out the papers, her eyes scanning the

contents. She looked at him then the papers.
"Shawn? Is this a dream?"

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~96~

He smiled as her eyes scanned the paper again.

"This….wow!"
She rubbed her eyes. He squeezed her thigh tighter as
he moved closer to kiss her cheek.
"Thank youu….aah!"
"You're welcome."

He leaned back and she smiled as she slowly read the

documentation. He did that? Now she couldn't even be
mad that he came to pick her up a bit late.
"Tomorrow we are going to the doctor's office right?"
"Yes."
She smiled. She was confident. With the more tests she
ran, there had been nothing of the cancer rearing it's
head. It was just genes. Just genes and that didn't mean
they had to be active. So there was no need to tell
Shawn. Yep.

She smiled. Last week like always, her doctor had ran
the tests even if she had to get a mammogram which
was new…
Her husband who knew that being tested for a lot of
things during pregnancy was standard didn't have a
problem.

Shawn started the car and he reversed out of the

parking spot. His free hand went to squeeze her right
breast and she winced.
"It's still sensitive?"
She rolled her eyes.
"Of course my breasts are sensitive, I'm pregnant."
"Ng ng you never wince like that when I squeeze your
left. Move a little closer." He hadn't even been allowed
by the Mrs to touch that one in the last three months.
The checkups were okay so he guessed there was
nothing to worry about and besides she eas carrying
twins, that meant double everything.
She did and his large hand went to the other one. It was
a bit sensitive but not like the other one as he squeezed.
"See? You're not recoiling from my squeeze with this
one." She shifted in her seat as she leaned back.
"But then pregnancy on it's own is a lot of things.."
"Maybe it's because Paris favoured my right breast than
my left, I don't know." He glanced at her with a smile.
"Maybe. As long as you're okay."
"I am. I feel you're worried over nothing."
"I just want you to be okay."

He dropped his hand to her thigh as he drove off and

she finally started to eat.

Almost ten minutes later, Alone turned her head to the

back of the car.
"Those are cute. She'll love them."
She said.
"The flowers? Of course. Her mommy got something so
she should get something too."
Alone smiled. Last Christmas he had Paris get her little
heart pendant with their family picture and a little trip to
the North of the country to spend time with Kagiso and
the family in Maun before they went to Tsamaya for New
Year's.

She licked the sauce off her fingers. Her mind going to
Shawn's remark. It was nothing. She shouldn't overthink
this. At all.

Her work phone buzzed in the tote bag. She got a

napkin to wipe her fingers before she took out the phone
and she looked at the new number calling. Her
colleagues knew not to call on weekends unless it was
an emergency that really needed her attention. There
was no way she was letting work interrupt her family
time.

She answered.
"Alone Kgotla, hello."
"Alone, hi."
She paused.
"Hi? How can I help?"
"I was wondering if we could do breakfast on Monday, to
discuss business of course."
She chuckled.
"What business?"

What a time to not have a PA. What happened passed,

should she get another one? She was a good judge of
character. Okay she wasn't. Her exes were proof of that
but everyone seemed connected and she would hate for
a repeat of the same incident.

She rubbed her eyes.

"Is Monday okay with you? It's something that can
advance the bank and if you hear this proposition, you'd
maybe consider it." Kaone went on.
"I'll get back to you. Have a good day."
She put the phone away.
"I need a PA ASAP!"

"Okay, I can help you vet them out.. "

She bit her lip.
"It might be temporary. Let me call mmamalome to ask
her if Shosho can come work for me. She is still waiting
for her master's scholarship to be approved and it's not
like she's working right now. Let me call her."
"Who is Shosho again?"
"The on-Rachel. Rachel…"
Shawn shook his head. It wasn't clicking.
Alone took out her personal phone and called Shosho. It
was family and family wasn't going to poison her. Why
didn't she think of those before?
"Lolo?"
"Rra?"
He was about to speak when she spoke.
"Hello? Shosho how are you?"

Alone smiled as she spoke to her and she laughed.

"Okay. Okay. I can make an arrangement. Is Tuesday
okay to sign the contract? The legal team will be at work
on Monday."
"Thank you so so much Alone. Wow!"
"No, thank you. You are going to make my life so much
easier."
"I'm so excited. I'll be on the first bus there tomorrow
morning. Let me pack my things."
"Okay. Bye."
"Bye bye and thank you."

Alone laughed softly before she cut the call.

"Babe, you were saying?"
"Your cousin will be staying where?"
"I told her she can stay with us. At least till she gets her
salary month end."
"Is that a good idea?" He was calm as he asked her that

Alone paused.
"I-"
She went quiet as she dipped her hand in the fries.
"She doesn't have anywhere to stay now and I'm the
one who called her. For a month."
"Mma Kgotla before giving her an answer you should
have asked me."
He took a turn and the car was silent.
"I'm sorry."
"I was not looking for an apology mmaagwe Paris, I was
telling you how we were supposed to do this. We never
do things without consulting each other. You know that
akere?"
She nodded, his hand moving up and down her thigh.
"Ee rra."
"Next time, before you take such a hasty decision let me
know. Our house is open to family yes but not for too
long, you know they stay for a week or less. Our house
it's meant to be ours. You know that even Paris' nanny
doesn't stay in the main house regardless of how much
space it has."
"Ee rra. Ke a utwa."(Yes sir. I understand.)
"You already promised. There shouldn't be a next time
though."
She nodded.
"Good. Are you full?"
She nodded again.
"Okay angel."

He focused on the road and Alone looked at him driving.

He was calm and firm and she had to admire how he
didn't lose his temper on her and he made his point
across so simply. She held the hand that was on her
thigh and she removed the ring on his finger. He glanced
at what she was doing and chuckled. She took off her
ring and tried to fit it on his finger but it failed. She slid
his ring on one of her fingers and intertwined their
hands.
"Wa borega akere?"(you're bored right?)
"I'm not.

He let her be as her soft fingers moved over his tattoos.

Her trying to force her wedding ring on his ring finger
then going for the pinky where it kind of almost fit. Alone
got her phone to take a picture.
"I should have bought you a diamond ring."
He looked at her. Horrified.
"Wa poka Lolo?"
She laughed.
"Look at you horrified at the prospect. I think I still have
your ring measurements. I'm getting you one. You love
me too much, I know you're gonna wear it."
He sighed.

***

Owame sat on the pillow as she looked around. Okay

she was impressed. For a first date and it was a picnic
setup. This man really meant business.
"Wame, eyes on me baby girl."
And he was smooth. Sheesh!
She grinned.
"I'm here." He smiled back, her smile shining brighter
than the sun and it made him happy.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~97~

Shawn helps Alone get out of the car first before he got
the flowers at the back seat. He locked the car before
his free hand settled on the small of her back as they
walked to their house. She opened the door and Paris
spotted them first before KJ did and she was already up
and running towards the door. Alone laughed, knowing
she can't pick the children up.
"Hey baby. You've been good?"
"Yes." She gave her a toothy grin and Alone chuckled.
Shawn let go of her and he crouched to his daughter's
level.
"Hi angel."
"Hello daddy. Let me show you what we built w-"
He showed Paris the flowers and she hugged her father
not yet taking them. Shawn straightened up, holding
Paris and kissed her head.
"These are for you little lady."
She giggled as she finally took the roses and she kissed
her dad's cheek.
"Thank you daddy."
"Do you love them?"
She nodded. He let her down as he picked his nephew.
"And you're getting heavy."
"I'm strong."
He laughed.
"That you are."

He walked over to Alone as Paris smelt the flowers. She

buried her head in the bouquet. She knew how to are
care of them, her mommy showed her. Barefooted, she
ran to her room with the flowers to put them in her pink
vase. Alone shook her head with a smile.
"Go rest. I'll take care of the kids and make dinner. I'm
sure there is lunch though. Do you want me to bring it?"

She shook her head.

"I think I'll go take a bath and rest."
"I'll come give you a massage when I'm done and take
care of you okay?" He winked and she blushed.
Knowing exactly what he meant.
"Ee rra." He kissed her lips and KJ put his hand between
their faces, scrunching his face in disgust.
They both laughed.
"Let me get going."
"Go easy on the steps okay?"
"Yes sir."
She headed to the staircase and Shawn held KJ as they
headed to his daughter's room.

A yawn escaped her lips. She really needed good rest.

***
Hours later, Owame held the phone as she updated her
sister.
"Guess what?"
"What?"
"He asked me to be his girlfriend."
"What? Congratulations…see you're finally moving on
from that cheater Gofaone."
Owame's heart was bursting with joy as she kicked her
legs.
"Finally. If this one tries nonsense with me, I'm leaving.
I'm not ignoring the red flags anymore."
"Good. I'm happy for you. Really."
"Thank you. How are you?"
"Same old. I'm at home working, I have a presentation
for Monday and I barely slept yesterday."
Lorato yawned.
"Get some rest. Tomorrow is a Saturday. Another day to
work and since you won't be at the office."
"You're right but I should complete this. At least the
rough draft of it all."
"Le the not delay you then. Bye."
"Bye bye."

The call cut and Owame went to her gallery. She looked
at the pictures he had taken of her at their date. She
looked so beautiful if she could say so herself. She went
to Facebook to post the pictures with a cute little
caption.

She responded to her WhatsApp messages too when

her new boyfriend called. Like a giddy school girl, she
answered as she laid on the bed and placed her feet
against the wall, her heart doing that pitter patter thing.
"Hello." She answered softly.
He chuckled.
"Wame, are you trying to seduce me with that soft
voice? Because it's working."

She giggled.
"I'm not. Hiii…"
"Hi Wame, I was calling to let you know I enjoyed our
date."
"You said that when you dropped me off."
"I just wanted to hear your voice. Have you eaten?"
"Ng ng. I'll make someth-"
"Now I have a valid reason to come there. I'll get us
food. I'm on my way."
She giggled like a school girl. This was the thrill and
excitement that came with a new relationship.
"Okay. I'll be waiting."
"Give me an hour or less."
She chuckled.
"Alright. Bye."
"Bye."

He cut the call and she placed the phone against her
chest with a smile on her face.

***

The bedroom door opened while Alone was lying on the

bed in her bra and panties looking at her big stomach.
She could see the hand pushing her stomach and it
was…fascinating.
"Did you wear that to make me fall at your feet?"
Shawn sat on the bed after locking the bedroom door
and placed both hands on her stomach. The kids were
tired out from their little activity and he had made sure
his wife was fed an hours ago.
"It doesn't hurt when they kick?"
"It's uncomfortable but it doesn't hurt. I feel like bursting
already."
"A few more months.." He kissed her stomach and it was
that moment that she felt the kick and Shawn did. They
could see the foot through her stomach and she
chuckled.
"This is what I deal with everytime I try to sleep."
Shawn rubbed her belly.
"I'm sorry baby, next time it won't be twins."
"Who said they'd be a next time?"
"Ga se wena o ne o batla go foroma bana?"(weren't you
the one who wanted kids?)
"Pregnancy shows me dust. I'm done giving birth to your
babies."
"Okay. We'll revisit this two or three years after the twins
are born then I'll get a vasectomy."
"You'd do that? For me?"
He placed his other hand by the side of her face as he
dropped his head to kiss her.
"I'd do anything for you. You know that and ain't no way
I'm wearing rubbed with you."
"Cave man."
He chuckled, he kissed her again. Much slower this
time. Alone wrapped her hands around his neck, her
short nails lightly scratching his neck needing him closer.
Much closer than he was.
Shawn broke the kiss and stepped back. He removed
the t-shirt and Alone watched her husband strip for her.
He got finer and finer with age. Like fine wine. She
licked her lips, he should skip the foreplay and get
straight into it. She sat upright as she removed her bra
letting the n*pples free. Her husband kicked off his pants
and the briefs too.
He was already hard too.

He walked over to the bed to take her lips again, their

kissing sounding through the room. Shawn's hand
slipped inside her panties and he chuckled.
"I'll do it in the morning." She didn't care about not being
cleanly shaven right this minute. She wanted her
husband in her.
"Ok-ahh!" His fingers slipped inside of her and she
closed her eyes.

Shawn #Explicit

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~98~

In the morning

Alone was spread out on the bed like a hot bun waiting
to be buttered as her husband took his sweet time in
shaving her.
"I'm almost done."
She watched him do everything carefully and he walked
to the bathroom. He came back with a warm towel and
wiped her clean.
"Done. A bit swollen from last night b-"
She threw a pillow at him and he chuckled.
"But we wouldn't have it any other way..f*ck Lolo you're
getting wet." She wished the earth could swallow her
right this minute.
"Let me take care of you. Give me a minute."

He removed the towel that was under her and he kissed

her inner thighs. Alone giggled.

***

At Francistown

Shosho stirred her bowl of soft porridge as she talked to

her friend over the phone.
"Serious?"
"Yep." The p popped on her glossed pink lips.
"You got a job just like that?"
"Yes and the nice thing is I never expected it. My cousin
called yesterday and she was like 'I have a job for you,
are you interested?' " Shosho narrated.
"Which cousin? Kana you have a lot of successful
cousins. Is it Tebogo the lawyer? Alone? The doctor
cousin or the one who works for a boat cruise? I'm
probably forgetting your other cousins. You lot are just
so successful."
Shosho laughed as she brought the spoon to her lips
and blew air to cool it.
"It's in the Puso genes…very smart mma but it's Alone."
"Oh My God!"
Shosho put the spoon in her mouth. It took her a few
seconds to swallow as she got another spoonful.
"Wa FNB?"
"Is there another Alone you know?"
"Tsala, you'll be working in a bank? As her PA…"
"Yes. I am so excited and it's better than sitting here at
home waiting for my master's scholarships to be
approved."
"Do you even need master's if you are working?"
"I have been dreaming of getting my master's ever since
I started undegrad.."
"Nerd. Anyways, where will you live? You know I stay in
a two and a half, but you can crash over till you get on
your feet."
Shosho giggled.
"Thank you for the offer but…I'll be living with my
cousin."
"Yoh! With her hot husband?"
Shosho rolled her eyes with a smile.
"Stop it. He's my cousin-in-law if that exists."
"So? He's hot. The last time you invited me over to a
wedding there, did you see how he looked with his
overalls tied around his waist and that white vest, wet
from the sweat…those biceps and that chest? Mhhmm
mhhhmm.."
Shosho closed her eyes. She shouldn't be having such
thoughts. She shook her head.
"Look, I'm just saying. He is such a fine man…A dilf…"
"Bathong wena!"

She laughed trying to change the subject.

"Kana I never knew gore go phatsa dikgong go ka nna
hot, ke ha ke re ga se gore a phatse nna.."(I never knew
chopping wood would be so hot. In my head I was like
maybe he should chop me."
"I'm cutting the call.."
"Sorry for making you uncomfortable…"her friend
laughed. "How long will you be staying there?"
"A month, till I get my own place."
"Nice. I'll check up on you time and time again."
"Alright. Let me go. I have to clean the house and
continue packing."
"Sharp."

The call cut and she closed her eyes.

"Cleanse my thoughts Lord Jesus!" She went to
WhatsApp and she opened statuses from the day
before. She looked at Alone's status of them wearing
each other's rings. Their love was beautiful.

***

Alone sat in the dining room table with the kids on both
sides of her seat. She watched them eat as she had a
few spoonfuls of the oatmeal. Her phone vibrated on the
table and she smiled picking Fiona's call.
"Hello."
"Hi. Before you ask, KJ is good."
"I know. Kagiso and I are on our to pick him up, I hope
he wasn't a problem."
"Not at all. We are always happy to have him here with
us."
"I don't want you to tire out, carrying twins must be
exhausting. I was tired from just one baby now two?"
Alone looked at both kids and smiled.
"I manage though. You can come, Shawn and I are
leaving in twenty minutes."
"Okay. On our way."

The call cut and Alone finished her meal as the two kids
talked to each other.

Twenty minutes later, Fiona and Kagiso were by

Shawn's place.

Alone hugged Fiona and her brother-in-law.

"How was your holiday guys?"
"Refreshing."
Shawn fist bumped his brother before he hugged Fiona.
"You two needed the break."
Shawn held his wife's shoulder. He checked the time.
They needed to be at the hospital for the check up and
to get the results from their last check up.
"We'd love to chit chat but we have to go."
"We understand." Kagiso added.

These past years, his brother has been insanely happy

with his wife. To think there was a point he didn't like
Alone because of what happened when they were
teenagers? Pathetic.

Alone took the stairs to go get her handbag.

***

At the hospital, Alone held her husband's hand as the

doctor held the envelope.
"Hello, before we proceed with the rest of out monthly
checkup I got the results from two weeks back."
"Okay." The doctor looked at both of them.
"Alone, can I talk to you alone for a minute?"
Alone looked at the doctor and then back at Shawn who
was a bit surprised he was about to be asked to stand
outside.
She shook her head.
"You can say anything in front of my husband. Like
always."
The doctor sighed and nodded. If her patient was sure
about it then…
"I have your results and according to them…."

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~99~
The doctor breathed out as she placed the paper in front
of the couple. Shawn looked at the results and Lolo's
heart dropped to her f*cking feet.
"The mammogram…from two weeks back..uh it
revealed that Mrs Kgotla has breast cancer."
Shawn picked the paper again, reading it. Cancer? His-
he rubbed his face with his hand and Alone's tears rolled
slowly down her cheeks.

All she could think in her head was death, death, death,
death.
"Thi-this is a mistake right?"
She asked, her eyes wide with fear as she looked at her
doctor.
"Unfortunately it's not. I had suspected it when your only
sensitive breast was mentioned but breast cancer can
be hard to detect especially in pregnancy as in this
case."
Alone laughed like a maniac, her eyes dilating scarily as
she placed a shaky hand over her mouth, the room
spinning as the chant 'death got louder in her head.

Shawn snapped out of his surprise bubble and rubbed

his wife's thigh only to discover that she's shaking.
"Babe, Lolo.." He held her
Alone shook her head.
"I-I can't have cancer…I have kids…" She screamed as
she shook off her husband's touch.
The doctor looked at Alone. This was one of the hard
things about being a doctor. Having to deliver such
devasting news.
"Alone…take a deep breath.."
Shawn held her face so that she can look at him.
"Breath angel…slowly.."
She did but the hiccups started following by a sob and
Shawn had to blink back his own tears as he got her to
breath..her eyes closing every now and then..
"Angel…"
He whispered. The doctor watched, wondering how long
it was going to last when she dropped the other news
she had packed. In her profession, telling women about
such terminal illnesses resulted in them getting divorced
within a month because men don't want to be held down
by a 'sick wife' they want to live their 'best lives' and it's
nothing 'personal'

Alone licked her lips and nodded, rubbing her tears.

"Are you okay?" She asked Alone. Her main concern
was her patient and the way forward.
Alone nodded and looked at her doctor with blurry
tearful eyes, trying to breath.
"Okay…now from the result, the cancer is terminal and
it's currently stage 3A cancer."
Alone's lips trembled. Wha-
"You having the gene as you already knew-"

Shawn raised a hand to stop the doctor.

"Repeat that last sentence for me."
"Alone knew she carried the cancer gene but we always
have hope that cancer won't attack, it'd always fifty fifty.."

Shawn looked at his wife and Alone looked up. Not

being able to look at him. The doctor's lips parted. Oh.
He didn't know.
"She knew?"
The doctor nodded sadly and Shawn looked at his wife.
Unbelievable and she didn't think to tell him? Like her
own husband, letting him know? He let go of her and
pushed back his chair.
"I need a moment."

He walked out and Alone broke down, dropping her

head on the desk crying.
"Alone, breath…I beg of you."
"I'm go-going to die…he's going to leave mee…my
kids…"She said with a broken voice.
The doctor couldn't argue with her about her husband
leaving because it was a definite. Men didn't stay
through such. Most women stay by their men's side but
men? They never do.
"You are not going to die, you are going to get treatment
for this okay? I won't lie, nine out of ten men leave their
wives when the wives are sick and can't do home duties
or give them sex but you will survive…you will live to see
your kids grow Alone."

That didn't soothe Alone..if she dies and her kids? What
if he chooses his new woman over her kids because
she's not longer there? Like her mother did? She placed
a hand over her chest..struggling to breath and
wheezing in between the tears.
The doctor pushed out her chair and rushed to the other
side of the table, crouching in front of Alone.
"Your asthma pump…"
Alone couldn't speak or breath as the tears choked her
and air couldn't get in her lungs. It was so easy for her to
fail to breath because of that stupid drug poisoning.

Meanwhile outside the office, Shawn regained his calm.

The fact that his wife kept that away from him? It hit him
like a slap to the face. They were f*cking team, they
shared everything and she couldn't share that piece of
information with him?
He breathed out roughly, he walked to the door. He
heard her wheezing. Sh*t!

He got inside the office and the doctor was already

rummaging through Alone's bag. He crouched in front of
his wife, her cries and the situation they were in
breaking him.

He held her hands..

"Angel…"
"Found it."

The doctor handed him the asthma pump and he placed

it on his wife's mouth. He rubbed her back, her
wheezing decreasing each minute.

When only sobs could be heard, he removed it from her

mouth.
"I-let me give you guys space."
The doctor walked out of her office leaving the couple
inside. Shawn helped his wife up on her feet and he say
on the chair before he brought her down on his lap. She
shook against him, her sobs wrecking her pregnant body
and him swallowing hard as he held her, letting her cry it
out.
𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~100~

Alone sniffed, her head aching and her tear ducts

exhausted of all their tears. Shawn breathed out,
removing the asthma pump and holding it in his hand
while the other rubbed her back.
"Feeling better?"
Will she ever feel better? She nodded for the sake of
answering and Shawn kissed the top of her head.
"Okay. I'm going to get the docto-"

The door opened and the doctor walked in. She was a
bit surprised, taking in the way they sat with Alone on
her husband's lap. She walked over to her seat.
"I'm assuming you're better."
She blinked her heavy eyes and the doctor placed her
hands on the desk.
"As I said, you are a currently on stage 3A of cancer, we
don't know the hormone receptors on the cancer cells, a
biopsy will be needed to get those cancer cell samples
for testing."
Alone nodded.
"You're currently six months pregnant and it's not
advisable to start chemo or any treatment during
pregnancy because it will affect the foetus, there might
be birth defects. Twin pregnancies are never carried up
to term so in a month or two you'll give birth and start
treatment after."

Shawn listened as Alone stared at the doctor with blank

eyes. He rubbed her thigh.
"Now let's get to checking on the twins."

Shawn probed Alone to get up from his thighs and onto

the hospital bed.

An hour later, they were done and the doctor was

already scheduling the biopsy to be done on Tuesday.
Alone just signed and Shawn also put his signature
besides hers.
"Thank you doctor."
The doctor nodded. She wasn't sure if this was an act
because as much as men claim to love the women they
married, the thrill of the marriage dies because of such
illnesses. Cancer is still going to take a toll on Alone
when the chemo is started after birth, she is going to
lose weight…she'll need multiple doctor appointments.
She'll be tired and will react to the chemo..losing her
sense of taste…a lot of changes men can't handle.
Shawn held his wife's waist and bag as they walked out
if the doctor's office. He touched the top of her head.
"Let's go so you get some rest okay?" He kissed her
head as they walked out of the hospital.

***

Tebogo looked at the business card and she put it away.

Mofenyi walked in holding their young daughter.
"If you want to call him, call him Tebogo."
She opened up her arms and her daughter did too, now
wanting to get out of her father's arms. Mofenyi gave
Tebogo the little girl and she touched her little buns and
kissed her over and over again as she giggled.
She looked up at her husband.
"I'm curious."
"And it's okay to be curious."
"What if I found out he abandoned mom when she
needed him? Do I need such a person?"
"It's solely up to you babe but letting him into your life
and hearing him out are two different things."
She nodded.
"I guess on Monday it's okay."
"Alright."
"Hee kana mmangwane just called me."
Mofenyi sta next to his wife as he played with their
daughter.
"Your aunt? What's happening?"
"Apparently Lolo hired Shosho to be her PA."
He nodded. He wasn't getting where the conversation
was going.
"Family and work don't mix. I know she had hired a
complete stranger the last time but your work things are
things family should not be too close to see."

She emphasised the last statement.

"I know she thinks with family it will all be okay but then
even my family doesn't know some stuff and Shosho is
young, she'll be blabbing things to her friends.."
"Maybe give her the benefit of the doubt?"
Tebogo sighed.
"I just have to talk to Alone."

Tebogo said..she was worried about hiring family and

working so close to them.

***
Alone's head hit the pillow and Shawn covered her up
with the fleece blanket. He kissed the top of her head as
she closed her eyes.

He got his iPad and walked out of their bedroom,

heading to Paris' bedroom to keep her entertained.
Unfortunately for him? Paris was asleep. One of her
naps. He just headed to the lounge and sat down to do
his own research on cancer, he'll also ask for a second
opinion too. Anything for his wife even if it stung that she
didn't tell him that she had the gene but they'll have that
conversation when she wakes up.

***

Mma Alone smiled as she turned to see her companion

in the kitchen.
"Hello."
He smiled at her and she wondered when it was the
right time to introduce your partner to your very grown
up daughter. This was her shot at love. Again. And as
old as she was, she was not going to go through the
marriage process again, maybe marriage wasn't for her.
She was going to enjoy her time with this man and
spend her money. He too had children and he wanted to
live the rest of his days with her.
"I planned a little trip to Bali." He walked closer and she
giggled. She eas too old to giggle but he brought out the
young woman in her

"Bali? "
"Yes." The nice thing about being old was knowing you
worked and toiled as young person and now you have
the liberty to enjoy your money now that you have grown
up kids with their own families.
"Yes."
He kissed her and she smiled at him, her eyes shining
and sparkling.

***

Shosho looked at her packed bags. She smiled. She

couldn't wait for tomorrow morning when she was on the
bus to Gaborone. Back to the city she left a year ago
when she graduated.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~101~
That late afternoon, Alone woke up in bed. She rubbed
her eyes, hoping it had all been a bad dream. She
closed her eyes for a moment but her chest was so
heavy and her eyes swollen, an indicator that it was not
just a bad dream.

Her eyes welled with tears again as he hand went to her

right breast and she sniffed. This was a beginning to an
end. She knew this story all too well and it was a film
she had seen before, she never liked the ending and
didn't think she'll like the ending of this one.

The bedroom door opened and she looked at her

husband who stood by the door, he folded his arms and
leaned against the door frame.
"You're awake."
She nodded and sniffed. Wiping her face and nose as
she pulled the fleece blanket close. Shawn looked back
before he stepped inside the room and closed their
bedroom door to shield their daughter to hearing their
discussion.
"How are you feeling?"
She looked at their ceiling and her lips trembled.
"I'll be fine."
"Alone?"
Her eyes snapped to him at the tone he was using.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Straight to the point. She breathed out to answer but he
spoke again.
"Every single day, time and time again. For years even,
I've loved you. With every fibre of my being and it
wouldn't have hurt to say 'babe I saw a doctor and I
have a cancer gene which may or may not cause
cancer.' Was that so f*cking hard Alone?"
He walked closer and she shrunk back as she averted
her eyes from him.
"Alone Kgotla look at me when I'm talking to you." She
did and he was looking directly at her. It felt like he could
read her soul.
"Sh-"
"Alone we are a team. This isn't something you brush
off, this is your life. You know you're my f*cking lifeline
and then you go ahead and act dumb when you know
you're far from being dumb."
He was breathing fire as he walked closer till he was by
the bed and she breathed out.
"I'm sorry."
He crouched. His stare harsh.
"I never asked for you apology Alone. I asked for
reasons. Why you couldn't tell me, your husband and
those reasons better be good or so help me God…"
Her throat dried as he waited.
"I-Shaw-I-"
"Se inanathe Alone."(don't stutter)
Tears rolled down her cheek and he didn't wipe a single
one away..waiting for her reasons.
"I.."

She took a deep breath.

"I found out a few days after my aunt's funeral..she
wasn't he first to die from breast cancer from my dad's
side. My paternal grandmother died from it, other female
relatives from that side of the family died from it so I had
a genetic test done…"
Shawn was quiet waiting for her to listen.
"At that time, I was devasted to learn that I had the
gene. No one knows. Not even my cousin or my mother
and at the time I was going through a lot, losing my aunt
got broken up with because I wasn't 'wife material' or
whatever, accepted that I won't get married and get a
happy ending like Tebogo had said. I was intent to living
my best life till cancer finds me and knowing I won't
regret my life choices except us breaking up at sixteen…
then you came along and yeah."
"Alone, six years to tell me? Six years to tell me and you
didn't?"
She swallowed.
"There was no cancer even from doctor reports. As the
years went by it was proving to just be a gene, the
doctor had even said it might be a recessive gene but it
turned out not to be."

Shawn rubbed his jaw as it clenched.

"But I had to know. Knowing that my child might have
the gene.."
Alone rubbed her tears.
"So if I told you, you wouldn't have a child with me
because of my cancer gene? And Paris is also my
daughter."
"Alone that's not what I'm saying."
"It sure sounds like it. I didn't want you to leave, leave
me because eventually I'll die and you'll live longer than
me…no one has survived at home. They didn't even
pass more than five years in remission before it came
back much more aggressive and nothing could be done,
treatment failing. Their bodies failing. I didn't want to
worry you, I also wanted a family. Something I can hold
onto while I'm still alive..I know Paris can have the gene
but maybe not because Tebogo is A okay and some of
my aunts are okay…I'm sorry I didn't let you know
Shawn. I'm sorry. I thought I'd be different and not get
cancer but now I have it and it's me living on limited
time."

He rubbed his face.

"Alone, have I ever gave you the impression that I'd
leave? Walk out? On you?"
Her eyes shone with tears and he brought his hand to
her face.
"I hear your reasons but they are not valid enough to not
have let me know angel…You have to let me in your
head, know your fears.."
He looked in her eyes and all he saw was fear.
"And you won't die, it's going to be different this
time…"He breathed out.
"Let me in. In your head Alone, we can't fight this is if
you don't. One of your worst fears is here and all we can
do is wait for treatment and hope it goes well."

She nodded.
"I'm sorry for keeping it away from you."
He sighed. He'll get over it even if it wasn't today.
"I know you won't accept my apology today but I'm really
sorry."
He nodded.
"Do you need anything?"
She shook her head.
"You haven't even eaten lunch. You should be eating."
He rubbed her tears away and kissed her head.
"I'll be back."
He straightened up and walked out. Alone wiped the
tears that rolled down her cheeks as he walked out. With
every step Shawn took, he wondered if somehow his
wife didn't trust him with her health or she was just
fearful that he'd leave. Her sentence about everyone in
her family who had cancer dying and now Alone had it
and what if Paris?
"F*ck!"
He can't lose all of them. He breathed out, medicine is
much more advanced these days. They won't die. Both
of them.

He rubbed his eyes, rubbing the tears away. She was

pregnant. With twins and now cancer? This was going to
be hard. He closed his eyes, as a tear rolled down his
cheek and he rubbed it away just as quick.

In the bedroom, Alone's phone rang and she picked it up

seeing Tebogo's name flash on the screen.
"Hello."
"Lolo, you don't sound fine. Are you okay?"
"Yeah…uhm…"
"Okay. I wanted to talk about you hiring Shosho."
In light of the morning's events, that had slipped Alone's
mind.
"Oh, Shosho…"
"Yes her. Alone you don't mix family with business. That
is never a good recipe."
Alone wondered if she'll need Shosho. From the looks of
it, she won't be working for a long time. Probably for
over two years at this point.
"But-"she yawned.
"They are good people."
"You never fully know a person Alone…the final decision
is yours but I'm giving you my two cents on the issue."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. Let me go.."
"What did you decide about your father?"
"I think I should meet him. For closure."
"Good choice. Let me not delay you from whatever you
were doing. Goodbye."
"Are you sire you're fine?"
Tears filled her eyes.
"Very fine."
"Okay."

The call cut and she looked at the screen as it blanked

out. Her tears fell on the phone screen and she wiped it
as she called her cousin
"Hello.."
"Shosho hi…do you have a moment?"
"Of course. I'm already packed up an-"
"About that…."

On the other end of the line, Shosho's heart dropped.

She didn't like that and her cousin didn't sound fine.
"Something came up and it won't be possible for you to
come work for me."
"Oh."
She heard her cousin sigh.
"Send me your banking details so I can pay you what
you were supposed to get month end. I'm sorry for
getting your hopes up."
Shosho's face lit up. Okay that meant shopping but she
had to act as if she was still sad.
"Ee mma."
"I'm sorry nnaka. Please send okay?"
"Ee mma."
"Bye…you're okay?"
"I'll be fine."

Alone cut the call.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~102~

Shosho spoke over the phone telling her friend. Her

older cousin had sent her ten thousand? Who'd give you
that much money just like that? And she didn't even
work hard for it.
"She probably has excess money, her husband seems
like the type to give her an allowance."

Shosho shrugged off that remark.

"Anyway but you can still come. You don't miss the
nightlife here?"

Shosho thought about it. Besides her mother won't ask

Alone..she could go to Gaborone for a month or so and
come back. Plus she can pass by to say hi to Alone.
"Okay. Tomorrow I'm on the first bus out of here."
"Besides Francistown is boring. What do you guys do for
fun Besides going to Nandos ot eat and coming back
home?"
Shosho laughed.
"It's peaceful."
"Can't wait to see you. Let me clean up since you are
coming."
"Alright."
"Will you be checking up on your cousin while you're
here?"
"Definitely. Besides she is the cool cousin so I'm sure
she won't tell mama that I'm the city for other reasons
than work. I'll tell mom it didn't work out when I come
back."
"Okay. If I'm not busy I can accompany you there."

Shosho felt uneasy about it but agreed.

"Okay. She is a nice person so I'm sure she won't mind."
"Great. Bye."
"Bye."

Before she can cut rhe call, she asked something.

"What was that?" Shosho asked.
"Do you know where your cousin's husband works?"
"Which one?"
"Shawn."
Shosho sighed.
"C Corporations if I remember. He is one of the higher
ups there and good in finance and investment."
"And how did you know that?"
Shosho laughed remembering her uncle telling them to
marry well and used Shawn and Mofenyi as examples of
how his other nieces married well. That a man should be
smart and the likes.
"My uncle.mentioned it during those big family bonfires. I
have to go. Go sharp now."
"Sharp."

Her friend cut the call and Shosho looked at her packed
suitcase.

Meanwhile the friend scrolled on Alone's profile. She

was looking for pictures of Alone with her husband. He
didn't have an account. She smiled looking at pictures of
him. A hot man. Did Alone know that good men like him
are snatched from busy wives like her? Her buying him
a car means nothing in Gaborone.

Sbe smiled. Going with Shosho meant she'll know the

house and she can leave any item of clothing by mistake
and come get it..

She smiled more.

***
Alone who finished getting dressed after her shower
found Shawn sitting on the bed when she walked out of
the shower wearing her pyjamas and in flip flops.
"Come sit here Mma kgotla."

She walked to the bed and sat next to him. He placed a

hand around her as she laid her head on his shoulder.
"How are you feeling? Be honest."
"I don't think I'm strong enough for all of this."
He looked at her.
"You're the strongest person I know."
She chuckled as she placed a hand over his chest.
"I saw what cancer can do first hand, I'm not strong for
that."
He looked at her dejected face.
"But there is no choice, we have Paris and the twins."
She nodded.
"I won't be able to breastfeed them..what kind of mother
does that make me? I bonded so much with Paris when
I was breastfeeding her and it feels like I already failed
them."
He rubbed her arm.
"You haven't and you won't. I promise you that, I'll be
here, your family will be here every step of the way
Alone..we are not going anywhere."
"I think one of my biggest fears is also you walking out
when you realise cancer is not that easy to fight. It looks
better on paper but first hand it's hell and I won't be able
to take care of the twins…I won't be able to do a lot of
things including sex..I won't even look sexy a-"
"I married you and love you for you Alone. Not what you
can do for me. I love you for who you are, Alone there
can never be another you. You know that."
"I know."
"This might be one of the many battles we face but we'll
make it. We haven't started treatment yet
mmaagwe…"He held back his tongue to not reveal the
gender of the twins. That was for next month's surprise
baby shower.
Alone who didn't pay no mind to the half sentence
smiled.
"Okay. We have two more months to come to terms with
this and mentally prepare."
"Ee mma. Starting with therapy and you taking indefinite
leave at work."
She sighed. She knew that she'll have to stop working

"After the twins are born? I'll go crazy thinking about the
cancer everyday."
He kissed her head.
"If you're bored you can be my PA."
She chuckled.
"Oh and about that, Shosho is no longer coming. I won't
need a PA once I'm out of work.."
"Alright. Smile a bit, you are not dying on me Mma
Kgotla, not by a long shot."
She smiled and looked up at him. He rubbed her chubby
cheeks and held her chin to French kiss her.
"I love you okay?"
"I love you too.." He deepened the kiss and she moaned
into it and he broke it smiling.
"Come eat. Downstair-"
A soft knock had both of them looking at the door.
He walked to the door to open it and Paris smiled
holding up a glass of milk.
"I had aunty warm it up..daddy said you are not feeling
better mommy."
Alone smiled and wiped her tears away.
"I'm feeling much better now that you are here…come
sit."

Paris carefully walked to the bed and have her mother

the glass. Alone took it and had a few sips before she
put it down. Paris touched her stomach…
"Better?"
Alone grinned at her.
"Much better baby.."
Shawn closed the door and walked back to the bed. He
picked up Paris and had her sit on his lap as she talked
to her mom's belly. This family of his? It was worth
everything.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~103~

Monday morning

Tebogo checked the time to be sure. She eas five

minutes early but if he didn't show up right on time, she
was walking out of this place and closing this chapter
she didn't even want to be opened.

The cool wind blew her curly braids to the side as she
sat on the outside chairs of the eatery she was at. She
fixed her black coat and checked her watch again, three
minutes left.
A waiter walked to her table asking for her order. If she
orders and he doesn't show up she'll be forced to stay
longer than necessary.
"Just an expresso please. Takeaway."

The waiter walked away, leaving Tebogo alone with her

thoughts. She tucked a few braids behind her ear as she
glanced over at her watch. A minute left.

Was luck ever on her side? No. He showed up right at

that moment and she stayed put in her seat, her heart
not really ready for this conversation but hard
conversations had to be had. It was life, the more you
avoid it, the harder it becomes.

"Good morning Tebogo." His accented voice grating her

already frayed nerves.
"John. Let's shoot straight to the point shall we?"
"No breakfast yet?"
"I have to be in court at ten, I don't have time."

He could hear the hostility in her voice. He had caught

her off guard on Friday but now? She was hostile to him
and he probably deserved that.
"When I met your mother, Meme it was supposed to be
a summer fling. We both weren't looking for anything
serious but it was fun for those two months spent
together at the beach.."
Tebogo's coffee arrived and she asked for the bill,
John's speech slash explanation interrupted.
She opened the cup and added sugar silently as her
'father' took a deep breath.
"You can continue."
John could tell that somehow Tebogo had gotten that
curtnes and dismissveness from Meme.
"Three months down the line after our summer fling, she
called talking about pregnancy and all."

Tebogo chuckled.
"I knew it. You ignored my mother, what do you want? Is
it money?"
"Tebogo I'm not done…"
She fisted her left hand on her lap under the table,
hoping her face didn't show how she was already
boiling.
She breathed out.
"Continue."
"I got a vasectomy a month prior to meeting your
mother so I thought she was one of those women who
was trying to trap me. Want a baby to demand child
support. And protection had been used at the time so it
was unbelievable that she'd fall pregnant."

Tebogo brought her fingers together to initiate breathing.

With every word that came out of this man's mouth, she
was reaching her limit.

"I ignored her. She called a year later and I told her that I
don't have a child, she had sent pictures but no name
but at that time I knew I had a vasectomy. I didn't need
nor want children and there was this girl trying to force a
child on me."
"My mother had integrity, it was something she could
never lie about."
He swallowed. Regrettably.
"It was only when I went for a check up five years since
she last called that it showed my vasectomy wasn't
properly done."

Tebogo rolled her eyes.

"I tried to find her. I did but I couldn't. For years I tried
and gave up. Six years ago I did try again but she was
said to be late, I gave up then and there."
Tebogo.
"At that time you could have done a DNA test but it's
okay…I had a great and present mother, not once did
she make me feel unloved or feel as if I was a mistake.
My family loves me too and I don't need you at this point
in time."
He swallowed harshly. His eyes blurring with tears. She
was so direct.
"At least a DNA test.."his voice dropped.
"Is that going to change the past? Is that going to being
my mother back so you can believe her and be present?
Is that going to change anything? I will do it, I'm more
than willing but I do not need nor want a single thing
from you. Not your love, not your money not even your
kidney. Nothing. Zilch. Zero."

He blinked back the tears. Her words carefully delivered

to hit and with no stutter in sight. How would he tell her
that he was dying and his guilt had consumed him for
more than half of his life over the fact that he had a
child. A child he denied. That he had her name on the
Will and the dna test would allow her to be his sole heir
of everything he accumulated.
"Okay. Whatever you want."
Tebogo breathed out. Done and dusted.
"We can meet at a hospital for the dna test."

She nodded and got up just as the waiter came. She

opened her bag to try and pay for her coffee.
"I'll pay. To thank you for your time."
She paused and sighed before she walked away. John's
eyes glazed over with tears and it was when Tebogo
was out of sight that the old man brought his head down,
regretting missing everything about Tebogo's life and
snubbing Meme. Meme had even suggested a DNA test
and he had been sure he was not the father that he said
harsh words, words he can't repeat to his daughter who
wanted nothing to do with him.

The waiters and waitresses watched the old man with

his head low. Were those sniff they heard? Was he
crying?

***

At Alone' double storey home, she looked in the mirror

as she wore a figure hugging dress. Her feet were in
ballerina pumps which were the shoes she could wear at
this moment. Her husband walked to stand behind her
and held her stomach kissing her head.
"You are beautiful."
"Thank you. You smell good."
"Only for you baby.."
He looked at them in the mirror but she was looking at
him.
"Look in the mirror."
She turned her head to do just that.
"Everyday just fight for you, okay? Put yourself first."
He whispered.
"The kids and I will always be there, I promise but you
have to fight for you. Everyday, show up for yourself
angel, we can't all pray for recovery when you yourself
don't believe in getting better."

She breathed out. She nodded. She wasn't going to be

another statistic.
"Good. Let's go eat and I'll drop you off at work. Should I
pass by later?"
"Yes. I'll be knocking off at lunch time. Those half days
are now my brand."
He kissed her head.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~104~

Alone had her pumps off as she went through her last
report for the day. Her work phone rang on the desk.
She ignored it and it went quiet. She put the phone on
silent and she continued with work. Her personal phone
rang and she picked that one up without checking the
caller ID.
"Hello?"
"Hi Lolo.."
She scrunched her nose.
"Shosho? Hi, how are you? Is anything wrong?"
"No. I'm in the city and I wanted to pop in to say hi."
Alone chuckled.
"Oh, I'm at the office right now. You can pop in."
"Alright. I'll be there."
"Okay. Just ask the receptionist to show you my office."
"Ee mma."
She cut the call as her landlines started ringing. She
groaned and answered it.
"Alone Kgotla speaking, how can I help you?"
"Alone, you've been ignoring my calls."
"Ke bua le many?"(who am I talking to?)
"A potential client and don't pretend as if you already
forgot me."
"If you don't say your name I'm hanging up."
"It's Kaone. You're so difficult."
"If you have an idea, take it up with my boss. Have a
good day."

She cut the call and rubbed her temple.

***

Shosho looked at her friend.

"I'm heading to FNB, she said she's in the office."
"Okay. I thought you were going to check at her at
home."

Shosho shrugged.
"It's mot like it makes much of a difference. Let me go
and I'll see you later."

The friend smiled as Shosho walked away. Her smile

fell. She had looked up C Corporations and she was
sure they wouldn't let her in just like that. Why was
Shosho dumb? Of course, she didn't want her cousin's
man and she respected that. Family and all. Her? She
was not related to those people at all so it didn't make
much of a difference.

There was no way to do this at this point. It was all

Shosho's fault, she missed out on a good rich man
who'd take care of her. She rubbed her temples.

***
Tebogo walled out of the private clinic and she looked
over to John. He looked defeated and-

She shook her head. No. She shouldn't even feel sorry
for the man who didn't believe her mother for all this
while. He basically denied her existence and now that it
was convenient for him, he wanted her to let him in her
life. It was not happening. Not by a long shot.

"Tebogo.."
She stopped as he caught up to her.
"Just know that I'm really sorry and if I could turn back
the hands of time, I would. I would be a different man."
"But you can't. It's impossible to turn back time. Have a
good day."

For the second time that day, Tebogo walking away from
him broke his weak heart and he placed a hand over his
chest in silent agony.

***

At Alone's office, Shosho looked around.

"Your office is nice, you're sure you still don't need a
PA?"
Alone shook her head with a smile.
"I'm sure. How is life without school?"
Shosho leaned back, taking in Alone's office one more
time before she faced her.
"I'm bored out of my mind. That's why I'm waiting on
scholarships. No response."
"I feel like an alternative route would have been you
finding a job amd working there for over a year, they
sponsor employees for further education. You would
have scored yourself a sponsorship and also a
permanent job."
"The problem is that I'm fresh out of school and already
they want a person with five to ten years of working
experience. I don't have that and they refuse to take
chances on us graduates. It's not like we can't learn on
the job."
"That's true. I'm sorry.."
"It's okay. I'm tired of applying and getting rejections so I
let it be."
Alone sighed. There were no openings in FNB but if she
had managed to get Oteng a job then she'll be able to
find Shosho a job as well.
"Send me your CV accompanied by your transcript and
a copy of your degree..I'll make a few suggestions to
some people."
Shosho's eyes lit up.
"Really?"
Alone smiled.
"Yes. Just send me the relevant documents and I'll get
back to you with a response."
"You're the best you know that?"
"I try."

The door opened and Alone and Shosho's eyes went to

the door. Shosho gawked at Shawn as Shawn's eyes
directly went to his wife's.
"I didn't know you had a guest."
"You didn't ask by reception did you?"
He shook his head as he stepped.
"Shawn you remember my cousin Shosho?"

She got up and walked over to her husband, holding his

arm.
"Hi." Shawn greeted her and Shosho just nodded. His
scent filled the office and she swallowed.
"I came to whisk her away, do you mind if I interrupt?"
Shosho stood up and held her bag.
"I don't mind and we were done anyways. Thank you so
much Alone. Bye."
"You're welcome."
They stepped out of the way allowing Shosho to pass.

Shawn kissed his wife and she smiled,

“How was your day beautiful?”
“Tiring but productive and how was yours? What do you
want to eat later?”

Shosho overheard that little conversation and she

smiled. She wanted a love like that. Maybe she’ll find the
one when she gets a job. Besides who’d want a broke
woman?

She called her friend as she stepped inside the elevator.

“I’ll be there in less than thirty minutes, Shawn passed
by too.”
“He did?”
“Yep. He is a hot man. I really love the love they have
going on, I want that kind of love for myself.”
“Why want that when you can get the man?”

Shosho chuckled.
“That’s not how it works. You might like a man for what
her does for his current woman but when it gets to you,
he is a horrible human being because you aren’t the one
in his heart. Men are horrible like that. He is a fine piece
of specimen to be admired from afar and even have wet
dreams about but the truth is even if I’m to snatch him,
he’d never love me like that. He’d never treat me like
that and he might even be abusive so I’ll just pray for my
own love story.”
“Ijoo! You’ll never find a man at that rate. We take other
people's men and we are happy with them.”
Shosho chuckled.
“You still have burn marks from when the wife of that
man you were seeing burned you. Are you living happily
with him?”
“Ijoo mma. I hear you.”

The elevator stopped and Shosho stepped out as they

moved on to a better and safer conversation.
.
.
.
FOUR MONTHS LATER

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~105~

Four months later

Shawn woke up first and his wife was still asleep. He
listened in and their twins were still asleep. Thank God.
He could hear Paris downstairs being prepped for pre-
school. He smiled. He was off for the day and he should
pack his wife's chemo bag, the oncologist they found
who was the best according to recommendations and
his own research was working hand in hand with his
wife's doctor. Alone was currently going on round two of
eight, it was the hard chemo which was said to be
aggressive and he could already see the side effects it
had on her. Her hair was out and she didn't have a
weave or braids even. It was going to be a long eight
hours in the chemo room.

He kissed her head and got out of bed to pack her bag,
allowing her to rest.

An hour later, Alone woke up alone in bed and she took

the moment to breath. She screamed into her pillow,
fighting tears as she breathed into the pillow. She wasn't
even halfway with the treatment but she was so tired.
She had lost the ability to taste food and it was a mess.

She got out of bed and removed her bonnet. She looked
down at it and could see the large chunks of hair in it.
Her throat dried up as she looked at it, her hand going to
touch her head and it came out with hair on it. She
walked over to the vanity table and placed the bonnet
down to finally look at her reflection and she didn't like
what she saw. It looked like her head was missing big
chunks of hair and had been cut by a toddler.
Her sob escaped and she held onto the vanity table for
stability. Oh God!

She tried to breath in and breath out but the tears

choked her and she started to tear up.

Downstairs, Shawn held Lefika in his arms, supporting

his bottle as his mother-in-law got Paris' bag.
"I won't be long."
"You'll find us still here. We leave at ten so it's okay."
"She's still asleep?"
"Yes. She needs it."
Mma Alone rubbed Shawn's arm.
"I'll be back and thank you for standing by my daughter."
"She's my wife, I love her too much not to do that."
Mma Alone rubbed her eyes, it had been scary news
when Alone broke the news to the whole family.

A moment of silence had passed and she had laughed

nervously about how she was going to beat the cancer
before she broke down crying. Everyone had tears in
their eyes but the whole family was just so supportive.
There were days where she was tired from dealing with
the kids even though they had the nanny. They took
turns. Sometimes Tebogo and Fiona showed up to keep
Alone company and also the kids.

Her daughter? God she was trying to be strong but she

had a breakdown every single week and it hurt to know
that she couldn't do anything besides being there for her
because she wasn't Jesus nor God and she couldn't
take the cancer away from her daughter's body so she
can feel alright.

"Paris!"
"I'm coming."

She came running, her braids bouncing on her head.

She stopped by her father and smiled.
"Tell mama I love her."
He smiled and rubbed her head.
"I will angel. Have a good day okay?"
"Okay. I love you daddy. And Lefika and Keletso."
Shawn chuckled.
"Ee mma."
He placed the baby down to give Patis a kiss and she
kissed his cheek. She walked out to go take her
grandmother's hand so she takes her to school.

Shawn got their two month old and he was just about to
cry but quite down.

In the bedroom, Alone got up from the floor after her

mini breakdown and she yawned. She looked at the port
that was used for her chemo. It was just above her right
breast. She can do this.

She got a comb and combed through the falling hair. It

fell on the vanity table along with her tears but she didn't
stop till all the hair that was shedding fell. She sighed
and walked to the bathroom to grab tissue and wrap the
hair to flush it.

When she was done, she looked at her uneven hair and
bit her lower lip. With the bonnet now free of hair, she
wore it again and went downstairs.

She spotted her husband in his pyjamas holding Lefika.

She smiled.
"Good morning my love…" She stood in front of him and
she took Lefika's hand
"Hello little man. How is my big baby?" She cooed and
she could see the little smile in his eyes.
Shawn watched her and just pulled her to him with one
hand as Lefika stopped sucking the milk from the bottle.
"Hey angel, why were you crying?"

Alone placed her arm over her mouth. She knew this
was going to happen. It was actually silly to cry knowing
she was going to lose her hair. This man knew her more
than she knew herself. She removed the bonnet and
Shawn saw the patches of hair missing on her head.
He rubbed her arm as she tried not to cry. If she cries,
Lefika is going to feel it and she wondered how Keletso
was not crying right now.

She wiped her tears with both her hands.

"Let me check on Keletso. I'll b-be back."

She wore the bonnet and quickly walked to the nursery

to go get her baby girl.

She was awake when she got there. Just looking

around. She rubbed her eyes.
"Hey baby girl…mommy is here to say hii…"
She got the baby from the cot and she looked into her
eyes. She looked a little bit too much like her. Her lips
trembled but she forced a smile.
"Let's change your diaper and feed you before a bath
yes?"
She smiled.

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~106~

Alone stood by Shawn after she wrapped her head scarf

to hide her patched head.
He pulled her to him and she placed a frail hand on his
chest.
"We should get going, you ready?"
"Let's go defeat this cancer."

She smiled and he kissed her lips.

"I love you autwe?"
"I love you and thank you."
He got her chemo bag. They'll be spending the next
eight hours there so..he also got his laptop to go do a bit
of work.
"How far are you on the book you're reading?"
"Halfway there. I'll be done with it maybe by the end of
this session if it doesn't make me drowsy."
"Okay. Let's go."

She walked ahead of him and he followed behind her.

Alone held onto the railings as she walked down the
stairs. She frowned seeing the flowers in the living room
as well as a gift basket.
"And then?"
"There was a man by the gate, they are from FNB.."
Mma Alone explained, passing to go get a vase or two
for the flowers
Alone teared up and walked to the flowers. She picked
the note and she read the message.

'Get well soon Mrs K.

We are wishing you the best and May God shine his
light on you.
With love from the FNBB team.'

It was short but the fact that they did this for her? She
rubbed her eyes.
"I'll send a thank you email." She half whispered before
she walked to the door where her husband was waiting
for her.
Alone held his hand as they said bye to Mma Alone.

Shawn unlocked the car and put the bags in the back.
"Wait here, your electrolytes are in the kitchen."

She nodded as he opened the car door for her and

walked to the kitchen. A part of her had been scared that
maybe he'll leave her for a woman he won't take care of
like this and it'd hurt but she couldn't blame him. She
can't even spend that much time with her kids let alone
be fully okay. It was a long journey but the good news
was that the cancer was in her lymph nodes and had not
spread to her distant organs which was a relief but then
it meant the most aggressive treatment and a trying
journey. She closed the door and laid back, closing her
eyes.

Shawn came back and got inside holding the bottle.

"Angel?" She opened her eyes and he handed her the
water. She took it as he started the car the minute the
gate opened.
He placed his hand on her thigh like always and he
reversed the car.

Alone drank the water, it was okay. A lot had changed

and it hadn't even been six months.
***

Tebogo leaned back on her chair. Alone's diagnosis was

a scary thing and knowing how cancer has taken a lot
from their family. She teared up thinking about it.

She sniffed as her phone rang.

"Hello."
"Hello, I have your results."
She closed her eyes…
"Can't you tell me over the phone?"
She didn't want to breakdown in front of the doctor if it
turned out that something was wrong.
"Are you sure?"
"One hundred percent."

She licked her lips and held her breath.

"Surprisingly, you don't have the cancer gene even
though it's in your family's history."
Tebogo released that breath she had been holding,
placing a hand over her chest. Thank God!
"Thank you. Thank you."
"But take care of yourself and have a good day."
"I will and thank you once more."
She cut rhe call and breathed out. Wow. Close call. She
thought of calling Alone to tell her but stopped herself. It
would seem like she was rubbing it in Alone's face. Her
cousin was going through a hard time and good news
which wouldn't be offensive would seem like she is
rubbing her face on the fact that she was healthy and
didn't carry the gene while her cousin had the gene and
was sick.

She thoughtfully called her husband to tell him the good

news.
"Love…"
"Hello, guess what?"
He chuckled.
"You sound excited. I'm listening."
"I don't have any cancer gene…"
"That's wonderful love. Do you want to go out and
celebrate later today?"
"Yes please! I was so scared of the outcome…"
"You're healthy, we are all healthy and we should be
grateful for that."
"Yes. Let me get back to work. I love you."
"I love you too."
She cut the call and smiled. Her mother must be looking
out for her because her fear at getting the results? Yoh!

***

Alone smiled singing along as her husband drove her to

chemo. He chirped in as his hand moved over her thigh.
She got her phone, capturing the moment. Memories for
the future..she had to believe she had a future right?

Baby, you're all that I want

When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in Heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in Heaven

He chuckled as he stopped by a red light. He looked at

her and murmured a soft 'I love you

Alone grinned at him. She could do this. This family of

hers? It was worth fighting for. She could do it. She
should fight to beat the cycle and be the one not to die
from cancer.

She stopped taking the video.

Shawn took her hand and kissed it as the traffic lights
turned green and he drove off.

***

At the Hospital

Shawn went to the oncology unit holding Alone's things

as she walked ahead of him. They were seeing her
doctor first for the first few minutes before they head to
the chemo room.

Alone looked around and he caught up to her, wrapping

a hand around her waist.
"It's okay."
She nodded and placed her head on his shoulder. Using
those few moments to breath before they walked into
the doctor's office. The oncologist looked up.
"Mrs Kgotla, Mr Kgotla."
Alone smiled.
"How has it been? Since our checkup on Monday?"
She did checkups weekly too when she wasn't getting
chemo. Her doctor had suggested she gets a therapist
as well for her own emotional wellbeing.
"I lost my hair."

She said with a smile but it dropped and Shawn

squeezed her waist tight.
"I'm so sorry…when?"
"This morning." That's when the doctor realised Alone
was wearing a headscarf. Alone was going to lose her
eyebrows too. They had gone through all the side
effects of chemo before she even started. It was going
to be rough and after chemo? A mastectomy and a few
sessions of radiotherapy or chemo to make sure the
cells are dead. It was going to be a long year for her.
"Alone, we are going to beat this."

She nodded. The doctor got up from her chair and the
couple followed her.

They got to the chemo room and it was already set up

with a few nurses inside. Alone let go of her husband's
hand and walked to the bed. It was a bit chilly inside. He
placed the bag down to take out the fleece he packed
specifically for this as the doctor and nurses prepped her
for the first drug..she had like five different drugs to get
into her system.
She removed her sweater and was left in her vest as her
port was cleaned up and IV drips and some machines
he still didn't know wheat they were called.

It took ten minutes till she was fully hooked and she
looked at him. He covered her with the blanket and took
out her book. He sat next to her and squeezed her
hand.

The nurses that were there had been surprised the first
time this man was here with his wife. They were used to
some women coming alone or with their mothers. Men
were never this involved. It was refreshing to see.
"That's it. I'll be back in an hour to check how far so she
can get the next drug."
"Thank you doctor." Shawn replied and Alone gave a
grateful nod.

Alone looked at her book then him.

"I love you okay? Thank you so much for standing by
me."
"I'll walk through fire for you Alone."
She spotted closer to the corner of the bed and he
moved closer to kiss her lips.
"Forever my angel?"
"Forever my love."
He smiled.
"Crave me?"
She asked with a small smile?
"Always." He chuckled moving back his heart a bit at
ease. He took out his phone to check his work emails
and Alone opened the book to where she stopped. She
said a quick prayer before she picked up from where
she left off.

She turned to look at him. Her locket was still dangling

on her neck. She always wore the locket. She was never
far from it.
"Remember that novel you bought for my sixteenth
birthday?"
He looked up.
"Danielle Steel one you had seen and raved about but
too broke to buy?"
She threw her head back.
"I wasn't broke. I still have it. It's at mom's house mme.
With the note in between and that cute dedication in
front."
He rubbed her hand.
"I have a lot of things you gave me. Even your love is
tucked deep in my heart."
Her heart fluttered.
"I want to give Paris the book and some of my journals."
He smiled.
"Ee mma. She'd love that."

She smiled.
"I know. And also, after this is done, I want us to travel?"
"Your wish is my command."
"And thank you for that company you bought for me
months back."
"You wanted your own thing and it's running smoothly,
with our guidance it will perform exceptionally well, after
this."

She nodded. The day of the marathon? He had bought

that company for her. It had been a small company so it
hadn't been that expensive and on top of having
investments and trust funds for her kids, having a legacy
as well for them was what she wanted.
"We'll rebrand and rename it soon okay angel?"
She nodded and leaned back, the drug starting to take
effect. A little drowsy but still okay.
"We are beating this Alone."
"Ee rra…Till the last day."
"That's my girl."
She smiled.
.
.
.
FIVE YEARS LATER

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~107~

Five years later

In Paris, France

Alone threw her head back laughing as she held the

white wine glass in her brown crochet top with her new
necklace dangling on her neck.
"Shawnn!"

He laughed. This was their holiday destination for the

summer. Well, it was Summer where they were and they
had the kids with them. All three of them in their
swimming suits. Paris being the older sister, lounged in
the chair, pushing her glasses back with her book on her
chest.

She kept watch of her younger siblings by the pool even

though her parents were nearby. She smiled. She had
been young but she had seen what her mother went
through. Her mother was well now and that was all that
mattered to the ten year old. They were happy even
though her younger siblings were annoying.

Keletso splashed water by the chairs Alone and Shawn

were by and Alone looked at her daughter.
"Your daughter has started."
Shawn shook his head.
"Put the glass down and let's join them for a swim."
Alone pushed her curled braids back and tied them. Hair
had started growing back two years ago and she has
never been grateful than she was now.

Paris watched her family from the lounging chair.

"I'll just watch from over here." She said with a smile, a
content smile.

***
At Francistown

Mma Alone coughed blood into her handkerchief. She

closed her eyes and placed the handkerchief down as
she beat her chest. She didn't want to worry her
daughter. She just recently started getting back on her
feet after the cancer and that journey had been horrible.
It had reduced Alone to literally nothing within a span of
six months. Her will had been fading and worrying her
now? It wasn't something she was going to do to her
daughter. Besides she was on holiday.

A door knock had her hiding the bloody handkerchief

and walking out of her room.
"I'm coming."

She walked to the door and opened it. She smiled

seeing one of Alone's aunts. Family was welcome
anytime, she needed it more than ever.

"Jackie, hello..can I come in?"

"Of course." She cleared her throat as she walked past
her with a tupperware full of scones.
"I brought scones so we can talk over tea."

She nodded.
"Have you told Alone?"
"I can't worry her. It's my duty as a mother to take care
of her, she is my only child but I can't have her take care
of me. I'll be fine."
Alone's aunt shook her head.
"Jackie, no. Alone loves you. She won't mind. At times
like these, you need to be with your daughter. Family. If
were in other countries abroad obviously you would
have been left in some home care for the elderly but you
are still able but weak. Tall to Alone.."

She sighed and agreed. She rubbed her chest, the urge
to cough coming back. She excused herself and went to
the bathroom to cough into a tissue, a lot of blood
staining the tissue. She flushed it and walked over to the
sink and rubbed her eyes that teared up from the
aggressive coughing.

When Alone comes back. She'll tell her.

***

Owame held the little baby in her arms. She was fulfilled
and happy about how her life has changed. It changed
in the bets of ways, from being alone in life to having a
sister and a husband now a child?
Her husband opened the hospital door and smiled.
"Hey baby."
"Heyy.."

She looked at their little creation. It didn't matter if she

was almost forty but a blessing was a blessing and
God's time was the best. Her twin sister knocked.
She looked up excitedly.
"He looks so cute."
"I know. Hey baby, meet aunty Lorato.."
Lorato grinned. Her own heart at peace. Dhe had long
accepted that love was not one of the things she'd have.
She'd always dream of it but with acceptance always
came peace and being content with what you have.

She placed her finger in the baby's fragile hands and

smiled. Her sister deserved this happiness. She was
happy for he. Tears filled her eyes and she moved back,
chuckling.
"I just came to say hi before I leave and congratulations
sis."
"Thank you."

Lorato said bye to them, leaving the new family to spend

time together. She was heading to the airport to catch
her flight. She was spending this winter at a warmer
destination. Something along the lines of Europe. She
was excited.

She smiled walking out with a spring in her step.

***

Tebogo laughed as her husband and kids served her

lunch.

They were the most thoughtful and she loved them so

much
The quality of life was so much better and everyday she
was grateful for good health. At 39, she was still fit as a
horse and her husband healthy along with her two kids.

This was what being happy was all about. Family and
enough money to make life easier.

Mofenyi sat next to her and she laid her head on his
shoulder.
"How are you feeling today?"
"The baby is fine. We are fine."
He placed a hand over her stomach and she looked at
him with a smile. To think there was a time she thought
she could cheat on this man because of a silly little
crush on her cousin's husband a decade ago?

She had been immature then, she knew better. She

loved what she had with her husband and wouldn't trade
it for anything. Nothing in the world could compare.
"I love you."
She whispered.
"I love you Tebogo."

She sighed as she looked at the tray on the table.

***

Kagiso and Fiona stood by the stands with their six year
old who was wearing the same matching t-shirt as them.
"It's a goal!" They cheered Kagiso Junior on as he
scored tge winning goal his school team needed. He
jumped and like the supportive family the Kgotlas were,
the trio cheered louder.

Ten minutes later, the match was over and KJ walked

over to his parents and little sister.
Kagiso fist bumped his son.
"Good job buddy."
"Thanks dad."

His mother handed him a water bottle while his sister

was just glad to be here. Fiona looked over at her
husband. They had done a good job with their kids so
far and she wasn't complaining. Their daughter was
enrolled in dancing classes so that was what they were
attending next week. The dance lessons.

Fiona hugged her husband.

"Nailing this parenting thing?"
"We passed with distinctions even."
She chuckled as they watched their daughter follow her
big brother. KJ was also so patient with her. Defiantly
what dreams were made of.

***

The following day

It had be systematically programmed to send everyone

a message. Inviting them to Alone and Shawn's vow
renewal in July.
Alone was answering family phone calls with a smile as
they asked about the vow renewal ceremony. Paris had
been too young to even remember her wedding day and
the twins were not even born.

She placed her phone down with a smile and went to the
video Shawn had taken of her by the Eiffel tower. They
went to other places but Paris was a must to be at.
Every single year.

She listened as he spoke while taking the video.

'Look at my wife. Such an angel, marry me again?' She
had giggled at that and it brought a smile to her face.

She posted the video to her status with the caption 'Play
Paris by Taylor Swift'
and checked her emails to see updates on the NGO she
had started months after her last treatment. Being with
all those women was something sbe didn't know she
needed. And using some of the proceeds from their
business to fund it and fund breast cancer treatments for
those who need it? It was too close to her heart.

She breathed out, taking in the peace in their holiday

house in Paris before those four disrupt her peace and
Paris badges her with questions, Lefika listening and
Keletso trying to be a menace and her husband
peppering her with kisses.

If sixteen year old Alone knew it was going to get good

like this? She wouldn't have been sad over losing the
love of her life and waited for fate to work for her.

She was still not sure if the cancer was going to be

back. She was going to checkups regularly. That's how
unstable her health was but she was determined to live
her very best life and make the most of what she got.

And dear reader, Alone didn't realise she got everything

her beloved aunt Meme had wanted. A stable family and
a husband to get home too. Someone to stand by you,
to be your other half to be connected to you by the hip.
She had all that and maybe a few more years on her.
Who knew what the future held?
.
.
.
TEN YEARS LATER

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

~108~
Ten years later…

Shawn stepped into the house and his soul felt weary.
Everyday he lived in fear of getting the phone call he
had been dreading for over a year now but it never
came. He untied his tie and walked up the stairs to the
room he used to share with his angel. The house was
silent. Paris was probably at work and the twins were at
school. With his daughter who recently graduated, he
had expected her to want to move out but she didn't so
he was grateful he still had his first born under his roof.

His throat dried up as he walked to the other room. He

smiled as his eyes befell her, even now she was still the
most beautiful woman he has ever laid his eyes on.

Like always he sat next to her and she smiled at him.

She tried to sit up right but he helped her. Her organs
were slowly failing her and she was susceptible to
infections that weakened her immune system further.
"Hi my love. How was your day?"
He kissed her head and she was glowing. He could see
the radiance.
"You look better angel."
"I feel better. I wanted to talk to the kids but let's spend
time together and tell me everything you did today."
He rubbed her cheek and she held his hand. His eyes
welled with tears.
"I know had time to come to terms with this.."
She looked angelic and otherworldly as she smiled at
him. He was struck by her beauty yet again and
wondered why she was glowing suddenly.
"I know my love. Shawn you've been my first and only
love. No matter what happens, you and I were always
meant to be. Even if we are going to meet in another
world."
She used her other hand to wipe his tears.
"I love you Shawn. More than you would ever know."
He nodded.
"I love you more angel."
"I have loved and been loved. Our kids know love, they
are grown. They know their grandmother loved them
before she passed on. We are surrounded by love. I'll
always be yours Shawn. Always. You will always be my
craving and I yours, sometimes we can't outrun fate and
that's okay. God's will somehow has to prevail and we
make peace with that."

He knew that. His eyes welled with tears. He could be

vulnerable with the woman who was by his side. He
dropped his head and cried on her shoulder. Alone
rubbed his head.
"I don't want to leave, this might not be our time but we'll
meet again where we'll be together for infinity. The stars
will align and I'll be there."
He lifted his head and she wiped his tears.
"I'm not the one who is supposed to be crying."

She chuckled.
"It's okay. I love you regardless. I'm happy with
everything we've achieved." She kissed his forehead
and he chuckled.

She smiled.
"I want to get out of bed and be in the living room."
She asked him and he rubbed his eyes.
"Okay angel.." he was careful picking her up and she
held onto him, he kissed her head and she giggled. He
walked out with her in hid arms and they passed her
nurse. The nurse smiled. A bit surprised at how active
her patient seemed.
"We'll be in the lounge."
Shawn chuckled but he headed straight to their bedroom
and she grinned.
"Let me take a quick shower. You can watch me if you
want."
"Yes sir!"
***

Paris held her mother's old locket as Novo Amor's

Repeat Until Death played in the car. She chuckled. It
was her mother's car and she couldn't seem to part from
it. She never took the locket off and it was cute that she
had her mom and dad's pictures from when they were
teenagers in love. If that wasn't the greatest love story,
she didn't know what was.

She stopped by the red light and leaned back. She

couldn't wait to go home and spend the rest of her night
talking to her.

The traffic lights went green and she drove straight

ahead. She was picking up the twins first then they'll be
heading home.

***

At the Kgotla's

Alone relaxed with her head on her husband's shoulder.

All she had was just soup and she didn't even feel full.
They both heard the car and she smiled. Her babies
were back.

The door opened minutes later and she grinned. The

three of them paused, their mother's sudden radiance
surprising but they took each day they got with her.
"Hello mama. Hey papa."
"Hi guys.."
Alone lifted her head and opened her arms for her
babies. All three of them went to hug her.
"Hey Paris. Hi Lefika. How Keletso. Tell me about your
day guys…you're squeezing me.."

They let go and she smiled at them. Her eyes glistened

with tears.
"I'm just happy to see your faces..babe?"
Shawn looked at her.
"Yeah?"
"By my drawer, there are four journals there…can you
bring them for me?"
He kissed her head as he walked to the stairs.
"Mama, we are going change and coming back." Keletso
said with eyes glistening with tears.
"Why are you crying my baby? I'm fine. I feel better."
"I know. I love you so much mama.."
"I love you too my little angel. More than words can
express."
Lefika sniffed a bit and excused himself to get a hold of
his emotions. He headed to his room downstairs and he
rubbed his eyes as the tears blurred his vision.

Paris removed her glasses and smiled.

"I'll be back mama..two minutes hela."
Alone nodded as she held Keletso who bawled her eyes
out.
"I love you my baby. You know mommy does.."
"I-I know.." Her sobs broke Alone's already weak heart
and she comforted her little girl.

Shawn came back downstairs with four journals. They

looked so pretty and he found Alone comforting their
youngest. Keletso was technically born an hour later
after her twin which meant Lefika was older.
Keletso broke the embrace.
"Let me go remove the uniform…"
Alone nodded.

She looked at her husband who handed her the journals

before sitting next to her. She placed her head on his
shoulder.
"Babe?"
"Hmm?"
"Whenever you see the moon at night, just know it's me
shining my light on your darkest days so your days can
just be as bright as daylight."
Shawn's heart broke a bit but he held her a little tighter
and gave her more kisses.
"Your special place is in my heart angel. Always."
Alone smiled. They craved each other. Even in the face
of death, they'll always crave each other.

Their kids came back and she grinned as she gave

everyone there their journals.
Paris opened hers first. It had her name.
"You don't have to read now, just keep it and guys you
didn't tell me about how today was. Ao."

The mood lightened up and they animatedly narrated to

their mom who was smiling and listening carefully, not
missing a single word.

***

That late evening, Shawn tucked Alone in bed and slept

next to her. He held her and she smiled.
"I love spending time with you guys. I love you autwe
Shawn? You are the best thing that's ever happened to
me."
"You are the blessing in my life angel."

She breathed out.

"Can we pray?" She asked softly. He nodded as they
closed their eyes. They prayed over each other.
"Amen!" They said at the same time. Alone placed her
head on his chest, to listen to his heartbeat as she
closed her eyes. Shr knew the cycle ended with her. All
her kids didn't get the cancer gene. They were going to
live long and God knew she was tired for fighting His
Will. She was so tired. A single tear dropped on her
husband's chest and she quickly wiped it away.

Around midnight, Shawn woke up and he looked at her.

She was still breathing. He kissed her head and said a
quick prayer before he closed his eyes.

***

In the morning, Shawn woke up with a smile and he

looked at Alone. She was so still.
"Lolo? Angel?"
He tried to wake her but she didn't move. His heart
stopped for a second before he checked her heartbeat
and pulse. He swallowed. Feeling nothing. She was still
warm.

There and then it hit him like a grenade. His wife, the
other half of his soul…was gone..

His body went so still, he could feel his heartstrings

snapping and he tried to breath. Yesterday felt a bit like
heaven and-

The tears rolled down his cheeks and he licked his lips.
His alarm rang. It was her birthday. He held her lifeless
body in his arms as he let out a heartbreaking scream,
his tears falling on her body.

It was only an hour later when he had come to terms

with it, he rounded his kids and they saw his bloodshot
eyes. Paris' knees failed her as she held onto the sofa
as Keletso cried.
"I'm so sorry."
Lefika went to hug his dad and cried in his chest.
"I'm so sorry my boy." He held his own tears back. The
nurse was calling the relevant people to get her body so
they can get ready for her funeral.
His daughters walked to him and they hugged each
other. The four of them.
"I love you guys okay? We are going to be okay. I
promise."

They nodded. Mourning the loss of their mother it hurt

so bad but the sun has to set. She said she'll be the
moon for them, to shine on their darkest days. She
wouldn't want them to cry for her like this.
"She loved you guys so much. So so much." Shawn
comforted his kids
"We know dad." Paris answered
"Love we could feel." Lefika added with a trembling
voice
"And it will live in our hearts forever." Keletso ended.

And that love surely it did live on. In their hearts. Forever
and evermore.

THE END

𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒆

Epilogue
Shawn smiled as he opened her side of the wardrobe.
Three years since his love departed from him. Three
years since he has lived with a gap in his heart. What
made him smile was the fact that his wife had loved and
she was now at peace. He couldn't wait for later tonight,
the moon always shone brighter on her birthday and it
brought a certain kind of peace. He put in his earpods as
Ghost of You by 5 Seconds of Summer played through
in his ear. He could remember their little dances
randomly at night. He had never understood fully when
people said their world went quiet but now he
understood. He didn't have her voice to fill the void.

No other love could compare. Not even. He didn't want

to move on..he chuckled. She had even written to him in
that journal that he could move on. He only had one true
love and for now, he'd be a father and maybe in future a
grandfather.

He paused the song and called Alone's number. He was

glad it was still in service. He even put airtime to keep it
active, that was how much he really wasn't ready to let
go.

He sat on the bed as it rang before it went to voicemail.

"Mrs K here, I can't answer your call right now. Please
leave a message and I'll get back to you yeah? Great.
Byeee!"
It beeped and he smiled wiping his tears away.
"Hey angel. Happy birthday."

He cut the call and breathed out, he looked up and he

finally got up to head downstairs.

He found Paris reading the journal her mother left her

and watching one of the many videos Alone made.
Memories. Alone cherished them so much.

Paris looked up.

"Hey daddy, come see this line mom wrote for me."

He walked over to the couch and sat next to her. He

read the line out loud.

"My baby, never forget that not every story has a pretty
ending so make sure the rest of the story is what you
decide it will be."
Shawn paused. He pulled his first born for a hug.
"We had a wonderful story, you our love child and your
siblings, rainbow babies after the loss of one of your
siblings..we wrote our own story."
She removed her glasses and cried into her dad's chest.
"I miss her so much."
"Me too but she is in a better place. God knew she was
in pain and she needed the rest."

His own eyes shone with tears. His wife's death

anniversary and birthday. Bittersweet.

Keletso, Alone's exact replica walked out holding a

spatula with cream on her nose.
She saw her older sister sniffing. She smiled tearfully.
That was the cycle of life, she wished that maybe in
another life she'd be born to her mother again and
experience her love longer.
"The cake is almost ready. Aunty Tebza called and she's
on her way. Even Aunty Fiona.."
Shawn smiled.
"Alrigjt my baby." He replied. Keletso smiled at her dad.
Some might say his love was suffocating but they knew
he loved them just as a deeply. They felt safe in his
arms and warm love. Their mother's death never made
him resent them, and she had been so scared he'd
resent her because she looked so much like her mother
but he loved all the three of them more if there was a
thing such as more love.
She was still eighteen but it felt like she already lived a
thousand lives. She looked up. She couldn't wait for
tonight.

Lefika relaxed in his room as he let the peacefulness

surround him. His mother was in a happier place. They
regularly went to the NGO and Paris who did the exact
same course as Alone since she had been going to work
with her mother since they were five. It was Canon

He smiled pushing his glasses back. He hoped he'd find

a love like that, that it could even be felt in his mother's
absence. Like always, next week they might go put
roses and clean her tombstone.

***

That night, around eight everyone was outside. Like

Shawn predicted the moon shone brighter and the stars
didn't dim the moonlight.

Maroon 5's Memories played as they sang along raising

their glasses. Celebrating Alone's well lived life.

Paris brought rhe white wine to her lips as she stood

next to her dad and Keletso was in front of him. Lefika
stood on his dad's right. They really all wished she was
here but alas it wasn't possible.

Tebogo stood next to Mofenyi. Family was forever. Her

heart was still heavy, knowing that months later her
mother's death anniversary was coming up and Alone's
mother's as well but family. God their familial bond was
so strong.

Fiona smiled sadly and Kagiso sighed. Family. He raised

his glass. To Alone, the only girl his little brother has
ever loved and will possibly ever love in this lifetime.

Keletso started singing to the song and everyone joined

with smiles singing the song memories. Life had to
move. She was the moon that shone on their darkest
days, the guardian angel they didn't know they needed.
Shawn's own angel.

And from thereon, Shawn went on to live longer for

many years still alone. He never remarried nor had
another companion. He saw his children marry, held
his grandchildren in his arms and love them. Pass to
them, the love her only knew. He eventually died
because of old age and if soulmates weren't real one
would have said it was a coincidence that he died in his
sleep and on his wife's birthday. And who knows, maybe
on that fateful day their stars aligned and the angels
sung reuniting the soulmates because theirs was a half
story but one filled with love till the very end.

So dear reader, thank you for walking this journey with

me. Let's have a little toast to the ones that we got, the
ones we wished would be here and the love we received
and are yet to receive in this lifetime.