Cedar Schumacher

Mr. Smith

ELA

16 October 2023

Synthesis Essay

“Jeremy spoke in class today” (Pearl Jam).

So goes the chorus to Pearl Jam’s grunge ballad Jeremy, released on their 1991 album

Ten. The song chronicles the true story of a boy named Jeremy Delle, who shot himself in front

of his sophomore English class in January of that year. He was 15 years old. 30 classmates and

their teacher witnessed his suicide (Jeremy Wade Delle). Although the song certainly paints a

striking picture of what Jeremy’s life might have been like, it is not necessarily an accurate

depiction, due to its artistic nature. However, its message nonetheless is poignant and relevant.

As school violence in America rises, seemingly uncontrollably, it is vital that the underlying

issues are considered and a solution is found. Jeremy Delle was born in Murray, Kentucky, a

town that even as recently as 2011 has a median income equal to half the national average

(Statista.com). While impossible to know for sure, it is very possible that the unfavorable

financial conditions of Jeremy’s early life played a role in his suicide. Rising economic

inequality in America has played a significant role in school violence incidents across the last

few decades, and can eventually form a repeating cycle.

Although many factors contribute to school violence, social conditions like family

involvement and after-school care can have a significant impact, and these factors are heavily

influenced by family income. One of the most straightforward issues is after-school supervision,

such as through an afterschool program. According to Teach Democracy, a civic participation

and education organization, “...lacking after-school supervision, youth violence rises to above

average rates…” (Teach Democracy). Involvement in reputable programs and activities during

the afternoons, aside from making it practically harder to do things like buy a gun, also reduces

the likelihood of engaging risky behaviors, according to 75% of parents who were polled as part

of an Afterschool Alliance study (Afterschool Alliance). Despite these benefits, afterschool

programs are often out of reach for many families. Later on in the previous study, Afterschool

Alliance concludes that 57% of families say that afterschool programs are too expensive to

participate in (Afterschool Alliance). The commonality of financial struggles that economic

inequality places on much of the population can clearly be seen impacting children here.

Additionally, the unavailability of afterschool programs can in and of itself allow for students to

get their hands on weapons that will be used to commit school-related violence.

Another significant factor in school violence, and one that is perhaps more obvious than

the previous, is family conditions. It is self-evident that the circumstances in which a child is

raised have a massive impact on how they develop. Teach Democracy states that, “Ideally,

parents nurture and reinforce positive behavior. When parents fail to do so, children may develop

negative--and often violent--behavior patterns” (Teach Democracy). Additionally, “...children

who are subject to neglect or abuse, witness domestic violence, or are exposed to the use of

illegal drugs and alcohol, will quite often display behaviors that lead to disciplinary problems at

school." (Creary) Parental guidance is vital to a child’s development, and an absent parent can be

the catalyst for committing acts of violence. This effect is only exacerbated by the widespread

economic inequality our country faces. Child welfare group OACAS reports that, “Poverty can

make it difficult for parents to maintain a work-life balance that allows them to spend time at

home caring for their children and to be active and involved with school, extracurricular
activities, and community life” (OACAS). Additionally, children in impoverished households are

at higher risk for mental health conditions (OACAS). The financial disparities that are so

common in America can often put families in a place where they are unable to care for their

children. This can lead to negative effects such as mental health issues, which are one of the most

commonly cited reasons for school violence. Despite their complete causation being doubtful,

they still can have quite an impact in whether or not a child commits an act of school violence.

Not being financially able to comfortably care for children can also lead to resentment against

parents, according to OACAS. The economic inequalities of America can often lead indirectly to

school violence by increasing the likelihood of mental health conditions, as well as restricting

access to programs proven to alleviate the potential for school violence, such as afterschool

programs.

However, economic disparities can also have more direct effects on school violence. In a

study by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), it is reported that poverty itself is

a significant risk factor contributing to youth engaging in school violence, which corroborates

the information from the OACAS study. This clear correlation makes it undeniable how much of

an impact financial inequality has on school violence. This also suggests that lower income areas

may serve as hotspots for school violence because of these hardships. Additionally, the CDC

reports that a history of violence can be a sign of engaging in violent acts in the future. A similar

finding is also noted by Michele Meleen, M.S.ed. in an article for the lifestyle company Love to

Know. Meleen describes how the extreme ease of access to guns and other weapons in the United

States when compared to other developed countries is a significant factor in school violence.

Both of these claims are deeply affected by financial well being, and according to an article by

the Center for Economic and Policy (Austin), “researchers consistently find that [firearm
homicide] is associated with measures of economic hardship” (Austin). Although it may seem

unconnected, the financial difficulties that result from economic inequality can have severe

impacts on school violence. The mental and emotional stress from living without a reliable and

sufficient source of income can often lead to resentment of family and surroundings as well as

serious mental health issues. These responses can often be exacerbated by the effects of living

with few luxuries. Additionally, the level of gun violence is significantly higher in impoverished

communities, who accordingly are disproportionately affected by school violence, since gun

violence is strongly linked to the likelihood of school violence.

Although school violence comes in many forms, school shootings are by far the most

public example, and they are largely responsible for continuing the cycle of school violence, due

to the persistent and widespread trauma they cause. Among survivors of school shootings,

sentiments such as, “‘After the tragedy…everything has changed....Everyone's a little more on

edge about things’” (Sandy Hook Promise) are extremely common. Some victims even report

that they always look for exit signs and plan an escape route should something go wrong even

when going out with friends (Sandy Hook Promise). While school shootings clearly have a

profound impact on everyone involved, this impact is predictably almost never positive, and

many victims experience significant behavioral differences as they process the trauma of their

experiences. These two examples, both taken from interviews conducted by the gun violence

prevention non-profit group Sandy Hook Promise, highlight some of the ways that school

shootings can influence the behavior and thought processes of their victims. However, not all

effects are so seemingly benign. Zoe Touray, a survivor of the 2021 shooting at Oxford High

School in Oxford, Michigan, explains how, “I wish that someone would have told me about the

aftermath. The jumpiness. Looking over your shoulder. The nightmares. I wish someone would
have told me that even after a year I still wouldn't feel like my old self, and that she may never

come back” (GMA Team). School shootings are incredibly traumatic events, and as such can

have significant and lasting impacts on their victims. It can clearly be seen by comparing the

previous two excerpts from Zoe’s testimony that some people suffer from more or less severe

lasting effects from school shootings, and that not all victims are equally affected. However,

many victims suffer from mental illnesses, and according to the Illinois Criminal Justice

Information Authority (Green), all school violence incidents, including much less severe forms

of violence such as bullying, can lead to mental health issues as well as an increase in aggressive

actions (Green). As shown by these three statements from victims of extreme school violence,

victims of school violence have varied experiences in terms of lasting traumatic effects, but

commonly can develop serious mental health issues in addition to a heightened potential for

engaging in aggressive and violent actions.

By extrapolating from the previous analysis, it is clear that there is a positive feedback

loop present in the education system regarding school violence. When an act of school violence

is committed, whether it be bullying or a mass shooting, there will always be victims, either

because of the perpetrator targeting a specific person, or through bystanders simply witnessing

the violent event. These victims by and large are more susceptible to mental illnesses than they

were before the incident, and so the argument can be made that acts of school violence serve to

increase the level of mental health issues in individual students as well as the school community

as a whole. Additionally, the same effect can be observed with acts of violence and aggressive

actions. Being a victim of school violence is directly linked to an increase in aggressive behavior,

and as such an increased likelihood for committing additional acts of violence. Since both a

history of violence and mental health conditions are both considered to be warning signs for an
increased likelihood for engaging in violent acts in the future, it is clear that the lasting effects on

the victims of school violence feed directly back into the system, making the victims themselves

candidates for committing their own acts of violence in the future. In this way, the cycle becomes

self-sustaining and even more difficult to stop as economic inequality is only becoming more and

more of an issue in America (Horowitz). The exacerbating effects of unequal wealth distribution

only make diminishing the amount of school violence much more difficult, and it will be next to

impossible to bring an end to this era of school violence without first addressing the rising

disparity in wealth distribution in the United States.

Income inequality is a considerable factor in school violence, and it can often become

cyclical if the issues are allowed to propagate and grow. The issues of school violence and

wealth inequality are arguably some of the most pressing issues in America today. Unless

something is done soon, it is entirely possible that these issues will become further intertwined,

and it will only get harder to undo the mistakes that have been made. All the while, lives will

continue to be lost for no reason, all within the very institutions that are designed to protect and

educate our youth. The irony notwithstanding, schools are taking steps to reduce the effects of

the most extreme forms of school violence, but as seen by the increasing number of school

shootings, these measures will not be enough if the trend continues; mitigation alone is already

not enough. Although individually there is not much to be done about economic inequality, each

student, teacher, and administrator can have a profound impact for the better in schools. Simply

being there for a friend or another student can make a world of difference, and prevent them

from taking extreme actions. Not just standing by and watching bullying happen, but intervening

if at all possible, can not only prevent students from bottling up dangerous amounts of

resentment and anger, but can lead to new friendships as well. Although these issues may seem
 insurmountable, and impossible for a single person to solve (which is true), if everyone takes

responsibility for their own actions, and does what they can to help each other, together

individuals can become powerful enough to make a real, tangible, and significant difference.

Cedar,

Fantastic idea development, and I appreciate that you navigated through a variety

of writing strategies (engaging hook, call to action in the conclusion, etc.). One way to

benefit your writing is to be slightly more specific in your thesis and claims so they better

reflect the contents of your paragraphs. Aside from that, solid work.
 Works Cited

18, Sep. “Median Household Income U.S. 2022.” Statista, Statista, 18 Sept. 2023,

www.statista.com/statistics/200838/median-household-income-in-the-united-states/.

“Aalayah’s Story | Sandy Hook Promise.” YouTube, YouTube, 20 Sept. 2021,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHlQHSihze8. Accessed 16 Oct. 2023.

America After 3PM. “2020 America after 3PM Data.” Afterschool Alliance, Afterschool

Alliance,

afterschoolalliance.org/AA3PM/data/geo/National/benefits?question=9&year=2020.

Accessed 16 Oct. 2023.

Austin, Algernon. “Poverty Correlates with the Recent Increase in Gun Violence.” CEPR.Net,

Center for Economic and Policy Research, 26 Sept. 2022,

www.cepr.net/poverty-correlates-with-the-recent-increase-in-gun-violence/.

“Causes of School Violence.” Teach Democracy, Teach Democracy, 2023,

www.crf-usa.org/school-violence/causes-of-school-violence.html.

Creary, Joanne. “School Violence.” Study.Com, Working Scholars, 8 Aug. 2022,

study.com/learn/lesson/school-violence-statistics-causes.html.

“Fact Sheet 2016 - Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.” CDC.Gov, Center for Disease

Control and Prevention, 2016,

www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/school_violence_fact_sheet-a.pdf.
GMA Team. “‘Dear Future Survivor’: School Shooting Survivors Pen Letters to Future ...”

Goodmorningamerica.Com, ABC News, 2023,

www.goodmorningamerica.com/news/story/dear-survivor-school-shooting-survivors-pen-

letters-future-93887965.

Green, Emilee. “Illinois Criminal Justice Information Authority.” ICJIA.Illinois.Gov, Illinois

Criminal Justice Information Authority, 23 Nov. 2020,

icjia.illinois.gov/researchhub/articles/exploring-school-violence-and-safety-concerns.

Horowitz, Juliana Menasce, et al. “1. Trends in Income and Wealth Inequality.”

Pewresearch.Org, Pew Research Center, 9 Jan. 2020,

www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/01/09/trends-in-income-and-wealth-inequality/.

Jeremy Wade Delle, 2021, jeremywadedelle.com/.

Meleen, Michele. “Causes and Effects of School Violence.” Love To Know, Love To Know

Media, 22 May 2021, www.lovetoknow.com/parenting/kids/cause-effect-school-violence.

“Mia’s Story | Sandy Hook Promise.” YouTube, YouTube, 11 Oct. 2021,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGx-i1Ek4KI. Accessed 16 Oct. 2023.

“Oacas Library Guides: Poverty and Child Welfare: Effects of Poverty on Families.” Effects of

Poverty on Families - Poverty and Child Welfare, OACAS,

oacas.libguides.com/c.php?g=702168&p=4992460. Accessed 16 Oct. 2023.

Rubric

Skill Not Foundational Proficient Advanced

 Yet
Identifies a topic Appears in first Thesis establishes a
paragraph complex claim

Thesis establishes a
topic and a claim

Thesis Comments:

Includes three or Includes multiple Includes specific,

fewer sources pieces of evidence meaningful, and
(from 8-10 sources) well-chosen evidence
Some evidence that clearly relate to that relates to the
relates to the thesis the thesis thesis

Includes multiple Includes a wide variety

Evidence pieces of evidence in of evidence
each body paragraph (primary/secondary
sources, political
Includes multiple types cartoons, opinion
of evidence pieces, studies, poetry,
fiction/narrative, etc.)

Comments:

Summarizes Explains how evidence Explains well-selected

sources supports topic points of comparison
sentence of individual among sources and
paragraphs evidence and their
connection to the
Explains how evidence thesis
Analysis supports the thesis of
the essay Demonstrates use of
advanced vocabulary
and varies sentence
patterns; evidence of
distinct voice and style
 in the writing

Comments:

Little connection Explains how the Clearly explains

between texts; texts/sources are relationships among
difficult for the related, though points texts (how they
reader to see how could be more selective confirm or challenge
the texts are related or better developed each other, build on
each other, provide
Synthesis Includes multiple differing perspectives,
sources in each body etc.)
paragraph
Utilizes a variety of
Utilizes transition transition words and
words and phrases phrases

Comments:

Some elements Heading is correctly No errors in MLA format

missing or some formatted
errors in MLA format
Pages are numbered

Most in-text citations

are correctly formatted

Works Cited: each

source entry is in correct
MLA MLA format
Format
Comments:

Shows evidence of Most quotes are All quotes are correctly

basic proofreading correctly integrated integrated

Follows essay Shows evidence of

Conventions
organization careful proofreading
 Shows evidence of
proofreading

Comments: