I Withdraw From People and Places From Time To Time

“I withdraw from people and places from time to time.
I need space from a world that is filled with

millions of mouths that talk too much but never have anything to say.”
My Dark Side: It ain’t anymore…
I am an introvert. Let's just get that out of the way first. Can you tell I loathe being labeled that way?
I love, love my own company. I can be with me all day, all night and I would be okay. I do not like
crowds, I hate small talk and I can't be bothered to attend gatherings. Sadly, most of my friends &
relatives haven not caught up to this fact and I still get invites.
I remember a time when I began feeling really down about myself. I felt weak and incapable. Everyone
else seemed so natural at fast-paced chitchatting with each other and seemed to have endless supplies of
social energy. I loved people, but no matter how hard I tried I could not get past being labeled as “shy”,
“reserved,” “quiet.” I felt a punch to the stomach just typing those dreadful words.
I don’t remember when I first learned of introversion, but I know I had numerous misconceptions of what
it truly meant to be an introvert due to the media and how most of the world seemed to react to me and
other introverts. These misconceptions fed into my struggle of never feeling good enough.
There were many things in life that I could practice and easily develop my skills in, but with speaking in
public, I felt like no matter how hard I tried I had a handicap I could never get over.
Then I read a book and my whole perception changed!
The Introvert Advantage: How Quiet People Can Thrive in an Extrovert World by Marti Olsen Laney.
It seriously was a life-changing read for me. You can probably guess by the title, the author empowered
me by explaining the strengths that introverts possess. She also discussed tips for maximizing your
strengths and working with your weaknesses.
I finally understood that some of the struggles I had were actually common struggles for most introverts.
I wasn’t a freak! I also began to value the strengths within myself that I hadn’t realized were unique and a
big deal.
So I wanted to start this talk by telling you, if you’ve never been told before or reminding you, if you
have sadly forgotten, that as an introvert you have important and wonderful strengths. I highly
recommend The Introvert Advantage for any introvert to learn more about yourself and your unique brain
wiring. And NO, I am not being paid for promoting the work, I solely wish it helps, people like me, as I
chase down my dreams as an introvert.
Remove the stinking’ labels… I think it is important to know your personality type, but never use it as a
weapon against yourself.
Never say self-limiting things like, I am too introverted to achieve that goal” or “I’m an introvert; I can’t
chase big dreams like extroverts can.” Chuck out that bucket of lies right now! Remove it from your
mouth. Remove it from your thinking. It is false and it is a horrible reflection of the beautiful and
imaginative being that you are.
Don’t label yourself or let other people label you with anything short of the wonderful person you are.
Which brings us to the next two tips…
Recognize Your Strengths…
If you are someone like me who constantly doubts yourself, learn and recognize your strengths. Don’t
downplay them. Don’t compare. Recognize them for what they are: strengths. Remind yourself what you
are good at. I think this will be the most crucial tip for you:
Recognize Your Weaknesses…
Now you might be surprised to hear me say this, however, it is also important to recognize your
weaknesses.
Attention though, let me point out that there is a difference between recognizing your weaknesses and
using your weaknesses as an excuse.
You can develop your skills. Some weaknesses you have now may always be a struggle for you; however,
that doesn’t mean they cannot at least be strengthened.
Now that you have recognized both your strengths and weaknesses, act accordingly. There is definitely a
time and place for working on developing the skills you are weaker in, but sometimes you need to give
yourself a break by working around your weaknesses and working with your strengths.
Let me explain this with greater clarity, if you are horrible at or get completely stressed out over speaking
to a group, avoid hosting them or speaking opportunities as your primary activity. It could be the
occasional activity to strengthen your skills and your courage, but devote the majority of your time to the
things that come more naturally to you. The things you’re good at. The things that energize you. Then,
Push Your Limits…
Let us talk about those times when it is beneficial to strengthen your weaknesses. Socializing and other
considered “extroverted” activities are often like a muscle, especially for an introvert. The more you
avoid people or spend time alone, the harder it will be to get back into the groove of speaking easily.
You have let your muscle weaken. On the other hand, making it a regular practice to speak in public or do
that other “extroverted” thing you hate doing can actually strengthen your skills in those areas. But don’t
exceed your limits. You are human. So you have limits.
And as an introvert your extroversion is not only like a muscle, but it is also like a battery that only has so
much social energy to give. As long as you immediately go to recharge, you can reach 0% and be ok, but
go into the negatives and you could cause more harm than good.
It happened to me, once I pushed myself and extroverted so hard for so long that it took an entire month
to feel like myself again and regain all of that social energy back. But this varies for each person, so it is
important to learn how much energy you have to give to your external world. Then work with that. Use
your battery and strengthen your muscle, but don’t overdo it.
Finding a good balance for you of exerting, recharging, exerting, recharging will help you be able to live
your life to its fullest rather than pushing yourself too hard and having to spend more time recovering.
We manage our time. We manage our money. We manage our resources. But we often forget that our
energy level is something to develop management skills for as well.
If you know something that must be done to move forward with your dream takes extroverted energy,
then make sure to schedule the time surrounding that activity with more energizing tasks, less energy-
draining tasks, or breaks for recharging.
As for me, I know I have the most energy in the morning and afternoon, so I schedule more energy or
brain draining activities for those times whenever possible. Manage your energy, Schedule accordingly.
I now have two really close, not only just introverted, friends and they help me stay sane. When you meet
resistance with either people labeling you and discouraging you or meeting the resistance that comes with
your specific weaknesses, it is so refreshing and encouraging to talk to someone who gets it!.
I can talk to my friends, but it is the friends who are going through a similar thing that I love talking to the
most because they understand the struggles. They understand the joys. They understand what I am talking
about!
So seek out that friend. Every time I talk to either one of them I breathe out a satisfying sigh of relief
because I feel understood and I feel encouraged. Those are both very important things. Find a fellow
dream-chasing introverted friend.
Most of these You & I already know but with time and all the life that happens in between, we needed the
reminder. More like the wakeup call. So I decided it was time.
In the pre-COVID-19 world, society’s expectations for success were built for extroverts.
A dramatic change in society occurred after COVID-19 led the world into quarantine, as people retreated
from their large social circles to their isolated homes. The ability to be alone with your thoughts is now
seen as a desirable trait, COVID-19 changed the playing field where now, introverts have the upper hand.
Even though we would rather be around people, I believe that many extroverts will be becoming more
introverted with time. With more introverts in society, maybe it will continue this trend and shape its
expectations of success around introverts.
What worked in the past was no longer working and it was time to do something new. Well, not really
new but change strategies.

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“I withdraw from people and places from time to time.

I need space from a world that is filled with

My Dark Side: It ain’t anymore…

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