SESSION 8: Household Rules and Routines to Support Children's Positive

Behavior
The session introduces the 4Ps parents/caregivers to manage unwanted behaviours
include establishing rules, establishing routines, giving clear positive instructions, and
redirecting negative attention-seeking behaviours and introducing consequences.
Life at home and in the community can sometimes feel very hectic and uncertain,
especially for young children. Parents sometimes get frustrated at their children for
being noisy or not tidying up after they have played, throwing their food on the ground,
or staying out way too late. Often children don’t understand why these things are
important.
Household rules and routines establish clear boundaries that can help children feel
secure and keep them safe from potential dangers both inside the house and in the
community. Establishing positive household rules and routines helps children
understand what kind of behaviour is expected from them and why. Rules and routines
also give children guidance and establish clear boundaries that help children to feel safe
and secure.
Together with rules and routines, redirect and use of consequences are other different
ways for parents to encourage their children to behave well. Redirecting is a strategy
that is especially effective with younger children. When parents redirect their children
from a negative behaviour to a positive behaviour at the beginning of the behaviour,
they reduce the chance that the negative behaviour happens or grow into something
more difficult to manage. On the other hand, consequences are the results of actions or
behaviours. Parents can use planned consequences with their children and teens when
they forget or do not follow household rules.
SESSION OBJECTIVES:
At the end of the session, the participants shall be able to:
1. Identify positive instructions in establishing rules together; and
2. Enumerate the specific building blocks for creating household rules and daily
routines
ICEBREAKER: Take a Pause
Note to facilitator: Check-in to make sure that everyone is ready to begin the session.
Take a Pause is an opportunity for parents to reconnect with their breathing and
themselves. It’s a quiet moment at the end of the session that they can also use at
home when they are feeling stressed.
Praise parents for making the effort to join the session and let them know you are
excited to get going! Before the start of the session, the facilitator will do Take a
 Pause.

1. Before we start today’s chat session, let's Take a Pause together. This is something
you can do whenever you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed.
2. Start by closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. Notice how you are feeling
emotionally. Notice how your body feels. Focus on your breath. Feel your breath as it
goes in and out. Do this for about 5 to 10 breaths.
3. Pause for 5 breaths here!
4. Now, expand your awareness to your whole body. Listen to the sounds in the room.
Take a moment to reflect on whether you feel any different. When you are ready, open
your eyes slowly.
ACTIVITY 1: MaPa Comics: Establishing Rules
DURATION
15 minutes
MATERIALS

● 2 comics

METHODOLOGY

● Presentation of Comics: Establishing Rules

(https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1C7ZbHLP0I99_-
spFFJxd06GK655mMl7D?usp=drive_link) and Using Agreed Consequences
(https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1A6R43gvEkZlYP16vJ8GFA9aGpAhcD6H
g?usp=drive_link)

Note to Facilitator: Before Discussing Comics

Things to remember when processing the Comics:
1) After asking each guide question, give the parents time to reflect and answer.
2) Use Accept, Explore, Connect. Accept the idea of the parents, clarify their answers
by rephrasing or repeating, and connect them to the building blocks.
3) Make sure to include all the possible answers in the discussions especially when
these are not mentioned by the parents.
PROCEDURE
1. Say: Here is a comic that shows how the parent spends One-on-One time with their
child. This is about a mother and her 5-year-old child, Jun-Jun.
2. Do: Present the Comics. Either read the comics or ask volunteers to read for the
group.
3. After reading the comics, ask the parents the following questions (with possible
answers).
GUIDE QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
1. How did the father communicate to Pablo?
Possible Answers:

✔ He talks in a calm voice.

✔ He gets down to his level.

✔ He makes eye contact.

✔ He helps Pablo see things from the father’s perspective.

2. How did the father and Pablo came up with the new rule?
Possible Answers:

✔ The father asked Pablo for his opinion and suggestion.

✔ The father and son discussed it first.

✔ Both the father and son gave suggestions and agreed on the new
rule and consequence.
3. Why do you think the father asks for Pablo’s opinion about the householdrule
for when to use his cellphone?
Possible Answers:

✔ Pablo feels respected.

✔ Pablo is more likely to follow the rule if he helps establish it.

✔ Pablo learns how to be more responsible.

✔ To give Pablo an opportunity to be involved in something that

affects him.
4. How did the father and son phrase the new rule?
 Possible Answers:

✔ The behaviors and actions are clear.

✔ Pablo knows exactly what to do.

5. What did the father do when Pablo followed the rule for one whole week?
Possible Answers:

✔ The father praised Pablo.

✔ The father gave Pablo a reward by extending the time on that day.

ACTIVITY 2: MaPa Comics

Presentation of Comics: Using agreed Consequences
PROCEDURE
1. Say: Great responses! Here is another comic about a Father spending One-on-One
time with his teen daughter.
2. Do: Present the Comics. Either read the comics or ask volunteers to read for the
group.
3. After reading the comics, ask the parents the following questions (with possible
answers).
GUIDE QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
1. How did the father talked to Pablo after he missed his curfew?
Possible Answers:

✔ The father showed care and concern to him.

✔ The father talked to his son calmly.

✔ The fatehr gave Pablo a chance to explain what happened.

2 What do you tink Pablo felt when his father let him explained?
Possible Answers:

✔ Pablo felt sad because he knew he made his parents worry.

✔ Pablo felt that he had responsibility for himself and his parents.

✔ Pablo felt guilty and regretful.

 3. How did the father implemented the consequence?
Possible answer:

✔ The father was calm the entire time.

✔ He acknowledged the situation of Pablo and firmly gave the consequence.

✔ The father fairly gave the agreed consequence.

INPUTS/ LECTURETTE
The key building blocks for supporting the positive behaviour of your children are:
BE A TEAM - Create routines, rules, and consequences with your child or teenager.
One rule at a time is easiest. Discuss the reasons for the rule and listen to their views.
KEEP IT CLEAR AND REAL - Create and give clear positive routines, rules, and
consequences. Give clear instructions in redirecting your child's negative behavior
before it happens. Make them realistic for what your child or teenager can do and be
clear and specific so there’s no misunderstanding. Not ‘on time’ but ‘by 7pm’.
BE CALM AND CONSISTENT - Daily routines, such as time for schoolwork, play,
meals, and sleep, can help our children feel safe and secure. They also give our
children a sense of security that they need to grow and develop. Also, the most
important thing you can remember is to be calm when disciplining your child. Take a
couple deep breaths or walk away if you need to. And then respond in a calm and clear
way.
PRAISE - Praise your child or teen for making a rule with you and praise them for
keeping it!
KEY LEARNING POINTS

● Household rules and routines clarify to children and teenagers the behaviors that
are expected of them.
● When we establish household rules and routines with our children, it makes it
more likely for them to follow the rules.
● The practice of daily routines is fortified through praise, and clear and specific
instructions.
● Redirect is practiced before the child shows the undesirable behavior. Redirect is
a strategy for avoiding the negative behavior from happening. In redirect, it is
important that parents know the behavior pattern of their children so they know
when to redirect the negative behavior of their children. Use redirect BEFORE
the negative behavior happens.
 ● Consequences are given in a calm manner, with love and concern for the child.
Consequences make older children and teenager feel more responsible (for
themselves and for others).

Note to Facilitator
Here are some more specific building blocks for creating household rules:
Establish household rules when your child or teen is calm and quiet.
Make your household rules clear and specific.
Make your household rules fair and realistic.
Make sure your child teen understands the reason for the rule. Use open
communication to help with this.
Allow your child or teen the chance to ask questions.
Praise your children when they follow a household rule.

Here are some more specific building blocks for creating daily routines:
Give children a transition warning before moving on to the next activity.
Describe the behaviour that you want your child to do by using positive words.
Give one instruction at a time. Keep them simple and clear.
Praise your child for following through with each instruction.
Bedtime and mealtime routines should be predictable and calm.
Make a schedule so caregivers can share responsibilities.

DEEPENING
Activity: Setting Up PRACTICE with the parents
It is important that you encourage parents to practice the new skills at home. Help the
parents gain confidence by practicing during the session.
First do this as a Group Practice with one pair of parents in the centre before asking the
parents to practice in pairs all at the same time. Group Practices allow parents to try out
their home activities in the safe environment of the group. Parents also have the
opportunity to act in roles as “parents” and “children.” Being the child in a practice helps
parents see the world through their child’s eyes.
PROCEDURE
1. Use the Illustrated Story to help parents practice establishing rules and consequence
with their children.
2. Review situation and help the parents understand the dialogues between the parent
and the child
Setting Up Group Practice
1. Choose a participant to be the “Parent” and another to be the “Child” in the big
group.
2. Ask the Child to be well behaved during the role-play.
3. The Parent and the child follow the line from the comics.
4. Facilitator stays physically close to the Parent to give support if necessary.
You
may need to whisper words that the Parent can use to describe what the child is
doing.
5. The Parent may need extra support in allowing the Child be the leader in the
activity. Be like a guardian angel!
6. Allow the practice to happen for about 1 minute.
7. Ask the parents who practiced about what the experience felt like both as a
Child and as a Parent. Write down any additional building blocks that they
discovered.
8. Praise the Parent/Child enthusiastically for being the first to do a Practice!
Setting Up Practice in Pairs
1. Ask the parents to find a partner and ask them to practice in pairs.
2. Ask the parents to read and understand the comics.
3. Ask the Child to be well behaved during the role-play.
4. The Parent should practice involving their children go through the
establishment of the rule and consequence. 4. The Parent and the Child can
follow the dialogues in the comics.
5. Both facilitators should move around the room helping parents out.
 6. Tell parents to switch roles after about one minute each.
7. Bring the group back together for a discussion.
8. Ask parents for feedback on how they felt as the Parent and the Child while
going through each step of the routine.
9. Allow all parents to practice in pairs.
10. Discussion of practice including possible challenges establishing rules with
children.
SYNTHESIS
Say: Well done, everyone! You know have additional skills on how to support and
promote your child's positive behavior Can we recall the building blocks for establishing
household rules and routines?
Do: Wait for the participants to answer.
Say: Awesome answers! Rules and routines help keep our children and teenagers safe
and understand what is expected from them. When you involve your children in making
household rules, they are more likely to follow them.
BE A TEAM - Make household rules, routines, and consequences together with your
children.
KEEP IT CLEAR AND REAL - Be positive, clear, realistic, and specific about what you
can expect of your children.
BE CONSISTENT - Routines that happen every day help children to feel safe and
secure.
PRAISE - Praise your children for making rules with you – and for following rules and
routines!

ASSESSMENT
Give this short quiz to parents in your group. Each item is worth one point. Correct
answers are in bold letters. Give specific praises to parents who do well in the quiz.
1. When should we redirect a child's attention?
a. After the negative behavior
b. While the negative behavior is happening
c. Before the negative behavior
2. Which is an example of an excellent instruction for a young child?
a. "Brush your teeth because you will go to bed in ten minutes"
b. "Stop playing because it's already late"
c. "Would you like to sleep now?"
3. What is an effective consequence if the child forgot to follow the rule on gadget use in
the house.
a. The child could not use the gadget for a month
b. The child could not use the gadget the next day.
c. The child will not be given his dinner

HOME ACTIVITY/ASSIGNMENT
Your home activity for this session is to create one household rule and one routine with
a consequence with your children. Remember to involve them in the discussion about
why it is important and what the rule or routine can be. Also, use redirect to your young
children.
1) BE A TEAM. Create rules with your child or teenager. One rule at a time is easiest.
Discuss the reasons for the rule and listen to their views.
2) KEEP IT CLEAR AND REAL. Make them realistic for what your child or teenager can
do. Be clear and specific so they understand what you want them to do. Keep it positive
and specific: “Come home at 7pm” instead of, “Don’t stay out late.”
3) BE CALM AND CONSISTENT. Daily routines, such as time for schoolwork, play,
meals, and sleep, can help our children feel safe and secure. They also give our
children a sense of security that they need to grow and develop. Take a couple breaths
or a walk before responding to your child.
4) PRAISE. Praise your child or teen for making a rule with you. And, just like when they
follow an instruction or behave well, praise them when they follow the rule!
CLOSING MESSAGE
I really appreciate everyone’s contribution today. Have a peaceful and happy day!
Note to Facilitator
Normalizing difficult households
Make sure you remind parents that no household is perfect! We all have problems
and challenges—praise parents regularly for being here because they want to put in
the work to change something for the better.

Challenges Possible Solutions

1. It is hard to remember to use positive 1. This is difficult to remember for
words when giving instructions. everyone at first! Try to take a breath
before giving an instruction. Also,
2. My child did not follow my instructions
remember to be gentle with yourself when
even if I followed the building blocks.
you forget. It happens to everyone!
3. It is hard to remember to use positive
2. Children need time to learn to follow
words when giving instructions.
instructions. Be patient. Try again.
4. I can’t seem to distract my child when Remember to praise them every time
they are misbehaving. they do follow an instruction.

5. My teen doesn’t seem to have changed 3. This is difficult to remember for

their behaviour despite the consequence I everyone at first! Try to take a breath
put in place. before giving an instruction. Also,
remember to be gentle with yourself when
you forget. It happens to everyone
4. Try to catch the misbehaviour early on
before it sets in or escalates.
5. Remember to consistently apply the
consequence – you need to do it every
time

Note to Facilitator
The key approach to this MaPa Session is that the facilitator draws on the shared
wisdom and experience of the 4Ps parents/caregivers to help brainstorm and
problem-solve the challenges the group wants to tackle at home. That means that we
want everybody to pool their ideas so that we all develop and practice new skills.

The main method in this session is to do activities together to enable learning through
doing instead of learning through being told. This method helps participants to learn
both during the sessions and at home. This is because we all remember and
understand things much better when we have done them ourselves. It is what we do
at home that makes the difference!
The session works best if parents feel comfortable sharing what is going on in their
homes and you have relationships that they can build on both with parents as well as
with the communities that those parents live in. Remember that parents will often
expect facilitators to have all of the answers – but parents are the experts in their own
lives and have a lot of experience to draw from in sharing their own solutions. This will
help circulate new ideas to the group.

This will guide you on what to do in this session. It describes the activities in detail
and provides possible questions that you can ask for discussions and illustrated
stories. It gives you a background on each parenting principle and lists Building
Blocks or parenting skills that are important for parents to learn and practice with their
child at home.

There are core principles to facilitating this session:

1) Use a collaborative approach of learning. As facilitators, we are collaborators or

partners working with parents to identify plans and practice solutions that will help
them to improve life at home.

2) Model the behaviour you want to see in the way that you behave towards
participants. The participants will learn from your example and begin to mirror your
behaviour, too.

3) Go at your parents’ pace. Facilitators should always go at the participants’ pace

when delivering the session.

4) Practice A-E-C-P: Accept, Explore, Connect, and Practice. A-E-C-P is a core

building block in the collaborative approach to facilitating this session. It is also
important to model Active Listening so that parents begin to do the same with their
own children.

5) Be aware of child developmental stages. It is important to be aware of different

competencies and characteristics of children at different stages as these can shape
parents’ expectations, goals, and activities with their children.
6) Come prepared to each session. The more you prepare for each session, the
easier time you will have in delivering the material. You will feel more relaxed and be
more receptive to how parents are feeling and to their experiences.

7) Make MaPaChat Sessions a happy place to learn. Parents will want to engage in
and participate in the activities if you create a group that is welcoming, open, and
respectful.

The session is structured around a 1.5-hour group session.