Forced Love

Insert One

I find my parents already at the breakfast table,

“Morning.” I say taking a slice of toasted bread.
“Sit down Nontle, come on eat like a normal
person.” Says my mom who for two decades
has never sat down to eat because of work.
I shake my head looking at my wristwatch,
“Nope, no can do.” I tell her. Before she replies
Junior walks in teary looking like a mess, that is
my cue to go. This isn’t anything new, he
probably got involved in something stupid and
needs to be helped like always. 23 years of age
and still no responsibility whatsoever. “I will be
on my way.” I say taking a second slice of bread.
He has been AWOL for three days now and this
is how he looks when he comes back?
Whatever he did will shake the world to its core.
I don’t even want to be a part of whatever it is
that he got himself involved in while drinking
money he doesn’t work for. I don’t see his car
where it is used to park but that isn’t any of my
business, I have the morning traffic to worry
about.
I put on music before driving out the garage,
just as I drive out mama and dad come out
yelling and shouting at the guards for a car; I
continue driving out.

My phone rings just as I join the freeway to

town, “I’m listening.” I say as soon as the car
Bluetooth answers for me.
“We have a problem.” Duh, there is no other
reason for my PA to call me when I am already
on my way to work.
“Yes?” I swear this girl still tiptoes around me
like I am some bull dog. Yes, I have had bad
days but I am not such a bad person.
“One of our bridges fell, in Durban. You haven’t
heard the news?” one day I will sleep and wake
up to find that I have to turn Satan into an angel
because what is this? A whole bridge. “Everyone
has been saying no comment all morning but
Mr Samuels wants to see you as in yesterday.”
She says.
“Okay. Get me two bran muffins downstairs and
a cup of coffee, I’ll be there now.” I say. What I
need is a driver for days like this. “Tell me how
is the situation?” I ask.
“Bad. Four buses were in that highway, an oil
truck, many taxis. There are about 30 casualties
so far.” Shit! “The minister is sitting in Samuel’s
neck. On twitter there is a trend #SamuelKills,
you know everyone thinks it is our fault.” She
tells me and I sigh. I am sure the politicians
sent them our way. We are being used as
scapegoats now.
“Okay. Monitor the trends and follow the story
until I get there.” I say.
“Ummm… Ms Samuels asked me to help her PA
call clients.” Well Ms Samuels will have to do
her job along her PA now without mine.
“And I am saying you follow the news for me
and get me something to eat. You are my PA,
not hers.” I say and end the call before putting
on the news station. I am sure it is making
headlines, seems like I am in for a very long ass
day today. I should’ve eaten at home because
now I will eat while on my feet running around
and giving out media statements. Spinning lies.
Twisting the truth to suit me. Fixing someone’s
problems.
Thembi at the front desk is frustrated and the
phone is ringing off the hook; I wave at her and
pass. Panicking will not change the situation so
I am not even going to ask her how bad it looks,
in the lift I take out my earphone and plug them
in playing some music because God knows I
need something to calm me when the
temperatures get high.
I find Liz in my office writing something down,
“Hey. Go get me the food, I’ll take it from here.” I
say taking out my earphones.
“Mr Samuels asked to see you as soon as you
get here.” She says.
“Go get me my coffee, I’ll see Samuels when I
am done here.” She nods and walks out, I take
out my laptop and increase the news volume.
We are making headlines; more victims are
being pulled out of the rumble.
The door opens and Liz walks in with my coffee
and just as I take it from her the door busts
open and Mr Samuels walks in; “The entire
world is coming into rumbles and you are here
having coffee?” he yells.
“I am having coffee and trying to find a way to
save the world, now give me an hour and I will
come to your office.” I tell him.
“Unbelievable! You better have a good strategy,
the media is hounding us.” He says.
“And I am going to deal with that, now tell your
employees to maintain a ‘no comment’ stance.”
I say before he walks out.
Liz looks spooked. This girl is always scared.
“Get Lihle on the line, tell her to post in the
media outlets that at 1 pm there will be a media
brief.” I say.
“okay.” She says and walks out. I check on
Twitter to see how the odds are now. The
deaths keep piling up and so are the injured,
what a nasty shit!
“Here!” I say to Samuels handing him a printed
media statement, “Read this, memorialise it all
for the media brief in an hour.” I say looking at
my wristwatch. I worked throughout lunch on
this.
“You will be there, right?” Samuels loves
pretending to be a child, I don’t need to hold his
hands.
“Fine. Just go over it, how far is your sister with
her investigation? We need everything to make
us look good.” I say. “I need reports of that
project, I need to know everything because if we
are to blame the media will find out and we
better be ready.” I add.
“She will have something before the day ends.”
Yeah right! My phone rings before I ask him the
most important question here.
“I have to take this, Tata.” My father hardly ever
calls midday.
“You have to come home sisi, there is an urgent
matter we need to discuss.” He says.
“Can’t it wait? I will be home in a few hours.” I
tell him.
“No. it is a matter of life and death.” Okay, he is
scaring me.
“Okay, I am on my way.” I say and end the call,
“You’ll have to do the press conference without
me, there is an emergency home.” I tell Samuels.
“Can’t it wait? We are in the middle of a crisis.”
He says.
“And nothing more can be done now. I need to
go home. Just tell your sister to have everything
ready by the time I come back.” I say walking
out; a lot of employees always say that I do as I
like here but I’d go crazy if I followed every rule
in this place.
In my office I collect my stuff and tell my PA to
call if something important comes up then
make my way out. I am sure nothing wrong will
happen in just a few hours and I can always
come back if shit comes to shove.
Forced Love

Insert Two

This has to be a joke! That is the only sane

thing here, only it isn’t. No one is laughing, they
all looking at me with serious faces.
“So he ran into someone last week and killed
them?” I am beyond shocked, dad nods. “Now
his family wants me to marry their eldest son or
they kill him?” I ask just to be sure. What kind of
people are these? A person kills your child and
you want their siblings to join your family? “I am
afraid Junior will have to go to jail then.” I say.
“We suggested that but they want a wife for
their son or they kill him. And they will do it, they
will kill your brother.” Mama says.
“They are just angry.” I know if someone ran
over this brat and killed him I’d want their head
but that doesn’t mean I would actually kill them.
Okay, maybe I would get inkabi in some hostel
in Jo’burg. Or KZN. One from KZN would do a
better job.
“They will. They are known for these things.”
Tata says.
“So you are asking me to marry killers?” I
cannot believe this! I get up taking off my blazer.
“They won’t hurt you.” How does he know that?
None of them know that. “Nana please, they will
kill your brother.”
“He deserves it! How many times have we
spoken to him about his behaviour? Now you
are asking me to give up my life.”
“We are sorry baby; we are but please.” For the
first time my mother’s tears do not move me;
not even a bit.
“And I am sorry.” I say wiping my tears with the
back of my hand, “I am sorry that you spoilt
your son so much that at 23 he doesn’t have
any sense of responsibility, this is your fault. I
hope you know that. I will do it.” I say wiping the
tears again. I will never be able to live with
myself if Junior was to die even though it isn’t
my fault. “On one condition.” They both look up
immediately; “The moment I leave this house to
be that man’s wife take all my photos and
anything I will leave behind and bury it, that will
be my grave. I am the dead one. Your son lives.”
I take my blazer and walk out leaving mama
sobbing.
I close my bedroom door leaning on it then slide
down, only then does the sob escape my mouth.
How can they do this to me? Me? I have carried
this family on my back and been the perfect
daughter and they are selling me? To a family of
killers? For their spoilt brat?

Everything is happening fast. I have written a

resignation letter and sent it to work, switched
off my phone, my bags are packed and I am
ready to go.
“I am sorry.” I don’t want to hear his voice, why
can’t he shut his mouth? I am sitting here
looking out the window waiting for the end of
my life to pull up the driveway and he is busy
talking shit. “Sisi, I am sorry.”
“One more word Junior I will take that knife and
stab you right in the neck.” I say looking at him
and he looks down.

The car drives out the driveway and I can see

my parents disappearing in the background. I
am crying, I am going to have the most painful
life going from here. I saw the hatred of the
driver, if he wasn’t under the order to take me to
my marital home he would probably kill me on
the side of the road. I am sitting at the back of
this SUV, I would’ve never dared to sit next to
this man. 13 hours is a long-ass drive to be
sitting next to a man who hates you.
“I will stop along the way so you can buy
something to eat.” Even saying a few words to
me sounds like it disgusts him.
“Thank you.” I don’t know what else to say, my
brother killed one of his bosses and the boy
was so young. Junior was in the wrong, he was
drunk and he crossed a red robot killing the boy.
I switch my cell on as we stop in a garage, he
mentions that he is giving me 15 minutes and
remind me what will happen should I try any
funny business. While he is filling up petrol I
walk into the store and the first stop is the toilet
then I buy small stuff to eat along the way, and
buy my captor water. If I will survive this
marriage then I will need a few kind people so
maybe by showing people some kindness they
will reciprocate.
I find him leaning on the car on a call so I open
the front passenger seat and put two bottles of
water and an energy drink. He is driving us all
the way to Butterworth so he needs to stay
awake. He gets in the car and starts the drive
without saying anything about the drinks but I
keep it moving to, listen to Samuel yelling on my
voicemail telling me how I will never work in
Cape Town again.
I dial Liz on her personal phone when I am done
listening to Samuel call me every insult in the
book. “Boss what is going on? Samuels is
busting, saying something about you resigning.”
She says.
“Yes. I will send you an email now about my
plan with dealing with the media, I will send you
a suggestion for how they should respond
going forward whilst the investigation is
ongoing.” I say.
“Okay, but what is going on? Are you okay?” the
concern in her voice raises a lump in my throat.
“No but I will okay, I am a big girl. What is it that
you always call me?”
“A tough cookie.” She whispers and I laugh
wiping my tears.
“Yes, that. So you know I’ll be cool.” I sniff back
my tears, “I want you to clear my office. That
business award I got last year, it is yours. Take
it as a reminder that you can achieve anything,
you are very bright Liz and I have no doubt you
will finish the course top of your class.” I say.
“That is big. Are you dying?” if only I knew.
“No. I am not dying Liz, listen to me now. In my
drawer there is a watch, I was wearing it the
other day, it is yours too. Take anything you
want to keep it, the photos please burn them.” I
say.
“Shouldn’t I take them to your house?” she
sounds shocked.
“No. Burn everything you can’t keep. I am
leaving everything behind.” I let her know, “And
Liz, you have been an amazing PA. Thank you.” I
say.
“And you have been a super scary amazing
boss. You are such a kind person and I am glad
I worked under you.” She says.
“I am glad. Tell Ndoda I am sorry I will miss his
birthday, I will currier the present.” I say. Ndoda
is her seven years son, a very handsome boy
who has the most beautiful eyes and speaks
nonstop.
“Okay. Good luck with what you will do moving
on.” She says.
“Thank you. Goodbye for now.” I say and the
call without awaiting her response; the lump on
my throat is making it hard for me to breathe.
The moment the phone slips out of my hands it
escapes and I almost scream but I put my hand
over my mouth and open the window with the
other. This cruel man says nothing but keep
driving, maybe I don’t want to have any sort of a
relationship with them, or even try to have them
on my side. I will just keep hating them just as
they hate me for something I didn’t do.
When I have calmed down I log into WhatsApp
and go straight to the group I share with my
three friends. I clear my throat and start
recording a voice note. “Hey guys, I hope you
are all well.” I sound so formal but that is what
it takes for me not to start wailing. I look out the
window and sigh, “I know y’all will cause drama
when you hear this so kahleni, don’t do anything
hectic. I am not kidnapped and I am very much
alive, check with my parents if you don’t
believeme. Lolo, I know you and your
conspiracy theories so ungaqali. Zizo, I am fine
so don’t worry your pretty self and Akhona you
better don’t start crying like I’m dead;
uzokwenzani when I am already dead?” I
chuckle and blink my tears. I might be on my
way to die as it is. “I want to tell you guys I will
be away for a while, and a while might be a year
or years. I am still unsure but I will text and call
you guys. You know I’ve got you, mara it will be
a while before I am in the Cape again. The
reason I am sending this here instead of
through a call I don’t want a hundred questions;
this isn’t a Q&A session. Just know that I am
okay and I am where I am willingly but I will ask
of you guys to give me a bit of space to deal
with something. And to adjust to my new
environment. I love you guys, a lot too. Don’t
forget that. And no, don’t call to try and find out
more, my cell will be on flight mode. I love you.”
I say and end the voice note.
The moment I am sure it is sent I put my cell on
flight mode and put on my headsets to play my
music.
Forced Love

Insert Three

It is the morning of the next day when we drive

into town, so this is Butterworth. I am from
Cofimvaba and has lived in Cape Town my
entire life so I have never been to this side of
the Eastern Cape. I want pee, “Are there any
toilets around here?” I ask him looking at the
time on my phone. It is not that early in the
morning, there is just heavy fog, as it is only 10
am.
“Okay.” This must be like the first thing he has
said to me in a few hours. He drives into a busy
rank and tells me to take five minutes or he will
be coming searching for me after showing me
the toilets. My feet are swollen and the sandals
I am wearing are a bit tight but what can I say?
We move. I hurry to the toilets and thank god
they are empty do I pay the R3 needed.
I may have thanked God a bit early, I am beyond
disgusted at the state of the toilets. I pinch my
nose and wipe the toilet using my face wipes a
few times before peeing, even then I don’t sit.
How are people even pay just so they can pee in
such disgusting conditions?
My annoyed driver is standing outside the toilet
and literally jumps on me when he sees me and
hurries me to the car, if my shoulder is not
dislocated then maybe it will never dislocate. If
the staff has the right to treat me like dirt then
how much more is the family? He bangs the
door behind me hitting my leg and I scream, he
just looks at me and then get on his side. I
move my aching leg inside and close the door
as he starts the car.
“Look, you may hate me but if you ever do that
to me again or even drag me like that I will have
you arrested. I know people who can have the
entire police minister on your ass and I won’t
even care if you kill Junior.” I tell him trying not
to cry at the ache of my leg, it is painful okay?
And the door did hit the ankle. He looks
shocked at this, “So this little bit of power you
are trying to exercise over me? I won’t tolerate
it.” I add then look out the window. He seems to
have forgotten he is the help. We drive out this
rank and he drives further into town only to stop
next to frozen, gets off, and walks to a woman
wearing a long dress with a jacket tied around
her waist. He takes the drinks in front of her
and loads them at the back, and they get into
the car.

I am a prisoner and I cannot really ask any

questions, the hatred I saw in this woman’s
eyes when she looked at me is the reason I am
sitting here looking out the window taking the
pain in my leg without asking if any of them has
any painkillers. I will just have to take it until I
can have access to my suitcase, I am sure I
have something in there. I switch flight mode
off and I have tons of missed calls from my
family and friends but I don’t have the strength
for them so I put my phone back to flight mode
again.
We have been on the tar road before we joined
the gravel road but it also just seems to take
forever. It is a while before we drive into a
village with a big sign written ‘Welcome
KwaPhalo’ and I instantly know that I have just
made it to my prison. We drive up the bumpy
road and stop a few times to let livestock pass,
we pass a clinic then a good twenty minutes
from it we pass a school then after 10 or so
minutes we drive into a big yard with so many
huts I am dizzy from trying to count them and
there so many people going up and down. The
funeral must be sometime this week; my heart
pains a bit at the thought of a mother awaiting
to bury their child. I should’ve let them kill
Junior, how am I supposed to face these people?
Their pain will forever be in my face and right
now, right now it is very raw and I will be here to
see it. Why am I always the one having to be
punished for Junior’s doings?
“Take this one to Sokhaya’s hut.” The woman
says before getting off the car.
“Stay here.” The driver says getting off too. I sit
and wait for them to offload then the driver gets
inside and drives for a good 2 minutes before
stopping in front of a hut, “Get off.” He tells me
getting off too. My leg is still very painful and it
takes all of my strength not to cry a river when I
put my leg on the ground. I limp behind this
man who is carrying my bags and walk into the
hut that is clearly used by someone. There is a
black vest on top of the bed, he puts my bags
next to the bed and walks out leaving me
standing in the middle of the room. I hear the
car drive off and I suddenly become teary, I’ve
just lost the only familiar thing in this yard.
I limp to my bags and put the small one on the
bed then open it, I might as well take this time
to bathe and put on something else other than
this pencil skirt that I had worn to work
yesterday. Just how easy my life was then. I
don’t know what I will use to bathe, I am even
scared to open the white door. What if it doesn’t
lead to a bathroom and I see things I am not
supposed to see? Dead bodies, maybe. These
people threatened to kill my brother so they
must have dead bodies hidden somewhere. The
door opens and two women my age walk in
they don’t want to be here too.
“Why are you still standing like that? There is a
lot to do.” One says.
“I was hoping to shower first.” I say.
“Hoping to shower? Must be nice, my sister’s
son is lying in a cold mortuary and you are
hoping to shower. Mmmhh, go on. There is the
shower hurry.” Another one says. So they’re the
late boy’s aunts, I nod and take my whole bag to
the bathroom with me. I first take pain meds
before taking the quickest shower I’ve ever
taken since my teens. I put on an ankle-length
black skirt and polo neck before a jacket on top
and wrap my head with a scarf. It is a bit wet
outside so I put on sneakers. I find them still
waiting in the room, “I am done.” I say and they
lead the way.
I have no other option but to follow behind them
to wherever it is they are going. And it is to a full
kitchen, women are moving around the kitchen
making food and stuff, all clearly used to one
another as they are chatting.
“Bafazi, this is Soyama.” One says.
“Nontle.” I correct them because I don’t know
what gave her the impression that I am Soyama.
“Soyama here is Bhut’Sokhaya’s bride; uzoyalwa
after the funeral. Show her what she needs to
do.” The second one says and then they follow
each other out. Then I guess I am Soyama, just
that no one thought it was a good idea to ask
‘Soyama’ how she feels about the new name or
at least make her aware.
“Okay, what do you need?” I ask, I might as well
since I am thrown into the deep end.
“We are making dinner, actually we were not
sure who will do it because we are all
preoccupied at the moment.” One says.
“Okay, do whatever you are doing and I will
make dinner.” I say, they show me everything
and I get into it.
“You will be able to make dinner for everyone?”
one asks. Well I don’t know, I’ve never ran a
catering company now, have I? At home, there
is only four of us but I don’t even remember the
last time I cooked for us.
“Yes.” My grandmother did teach me how to
cook so I will make a plan. One shows me the
biggest stove pots and tell me that is what I’ll
be using, I swear I am cooking for the whole
village here. They go about their business and I
go about mine. I don’t think they know my
brother has something to do with dead guy here
because they are actually treating me better
than anyone else in this yard.
My leg is burning from the pain and I so want to
sit down but I also don’t want to be caught
slipping so I limp around the kitchen doing what
I am supposed to do.
“Soyama, your father wants to speak to you.” A
man I didn’t see nor hear coming into the
kitchen says and we all look at him, it takes me
a good minute to realize I am actually who he is
speaking to. I thank him and take the phone,
limp outside so I can have some privacy. I don’t
think I’ll ever get used to being called Soyama.
“What do you want?” I ask the moment I am
certain I am out of ear shot, didn’t I tell them to
leave me alone?
“Nontle, we are worried about you. You didn’t
even tell us how was your trip.” He says.
“Oh well I didn’t have much time to myself, I’m
here slaving for your son’s sins so I hardly have
time for calls. And you are the last person I
want to speak to. Stop trying to call me, you
sold me to save your killer son. I meant it when I
said me and you will never speak until one of us
goes to the grave. And I am Soyama.” I say and
end the call. I turn to find the guy who gave me
this phone leaning on the wall behind me
watching me closely, he probably heard
everything but then again he must know who I
am and how I got here. Hell he even knows who
I am married to and I don’t even know that.
“What happened to your leg?” he asks taking his
phone.
“I tripped and fell.” There is no need to make a
big deal out of this, I will be okay. He nods and
walks away, I limp back to the house I have
things to do.
Luckily for me I am still not allowed to serve the
main house so I dish up and the others take the
plates to where they have to be taken. And only
then do I take a breather and sit down, but there
is never a resting moment here because a child
walks in to tell me Tamkhulu wants to see me.
I find an old man sitting alone in a tent, is he the
dead boy’s father or grandfather? But the aunts
were old enough to be his granddaughters. But
I’ve seen weirder situations.
“Molo tamkhulu.” He looks older than my father
and might be very much older than him, he
looks up and gives me a smile. He is definitely
the grandfather, the three ladies I’ve met today
look like him a lot. He mentions for me to sit
and I take the chair opposite him.
“What happened to your leg?” he asks.
“I tripped and fell.” I tell him the same lie I told
that man earlier.
“Looks too swollen though.” He says.
“I have been standing on my feet all afternoon,
it will be fine Sir.” I assure him and he just takes
out his phone and dial someone.
“Nxuba, I need your help.” He says to the person
on the other side. “No, my blood pressure is
very much fine. It is my granddaughter.” Maybe
I am not so alone in this family after all.
Forced Love

Insert Four

Nxuba is the family doctor, in his 60s if not late

50s and very kind. He gives me an ointment to
use and puts an ankle guard on then painkiller
before asking to speak to Tamkhulu outside the
tent about something. Tamkhulu comes back
shortly and sits opposite me and looks at me.
“Nxuba wants you to go see him at his practice
tomorrow.” He says and my heart skips, what if
I tore my ankle? “He wants to do an X-ray to be
sure nothing happened. He is certain that you
didn’t trip, now I won’t ask you to tell me what
happened but no one is allowed to mistreat you
here nor lay their hands on you so should that
happen I would like for you to tell me.” He says
“Yes.” But I won’t share that little incident that
happened earlier, he did say I don’t have to.
“Good.” He says and then goes silent for a long
moment, “You know in our times when families
were at war, very huge wars that could wipe the
bloodlines old people used to sit and find a
solution that isn’t violent and hopefully will not
lead to that. That is where a marriage between
the two families would come in, family doesn’t
kill each other. That is why you are here.” He
tells me. “What your brother did was a very bad
and fatal mistake.” He says.
“Trust me he makes many of those.” I find
myself saying.
“I know. He is very young, spoilt too and that is
something your father will have to look at. The
kind of man he wants to continue his name. My
grandchildren are very angry, very. Your brother
took their nephew, my great-grandson. I am not
happy too but also killing your brother will never
bring Samkelo back, sadly. But we would be
cutting a life short, a very young life. This is not
like saying we will kill your father who has lived
a very long life but a very young boy who has
only lived two decades. And killing a father for
their son’s sins is killing the entire family, I am
not in the business of breaking families. So I
asked your father to give us a bride if he has an
unmarried daughter, not to punish you but to tie
my children’s hands. They can’t kill their brother
-in-law, they might hate you now but you are the
woman whose sons will lead this family and
they can’t hurt you like that. See, Sokhaya is the
only son my only son had, he has five sisters.
Samkelo’s mother is the oldest. Samkelo was
her first child, she has three. Sokhaya comes
after Nomakrestu, then his three sisters follow.
Nomfundo, Andisiwe, and Asanda follow after
Sokhaya. To all of them, Nomandiya’s children
are their own children and it will take time for
them to heal.” I nod, what can I say?
“And Sokhaya’s mother and father? How angry
are they?”
“They are both late. Sokhaya’s father was the
only child I had and he went on to give me six
children with his wife, they died in a car
accident twenty years ago.” He tells me, “I
raised my grandchildren alone as that accident
did not only take my only son and a woman who
has become my daughter but my wife too.” I
would’ve gone crazy, imagine losing your child
and wife at the same time then you are left to
raise six children who can’t be that old alone. I
was only six years old twenty years ago, how
old were his grandchildren? “They were all very
young. Nomandiya was merely a young girl too,
she had just graduated from college to do
nursing. She didn’t work for a good 4 years
helping me with her siblings. Asanda has no
memory of her parents except pictures, she
was only a year old.” He says.
“I am telling all of this so you understand their
closeness, they have come to depend on each
other and Sokhaya is very close and
overprotective of them.” He says.
“I hear you. What you are saying here is I am
going to be very hated in this family, especially
by the man I am marrying.” I sum it up because
that is what he is saying in simple words.
“A man can be changed. Any woman has power
over men, she can manipulate any situation to
her favour.” He says. I hope he isn’t asking me
to seduce his grandson, I give fire rounds, yes
but anyone who treats me like trash doesn’t
deserve them. “And Sokhaya will come around,
just give them time. The wounds are still very
fresh.” He says.
“I don’t have any other choice.” I say.
I am expecting him to say I had one but he nods
and says, “Of course, you didn’t. The choice you
were given was really not a choice and that is
why I knew you would be coming. I don’t want
the blood of a young boy on my conscience but
sadly not everyone in this house feels like that.”
He tells me.
“I hear you.” That is all I can say.
“Go rest now. Andisiwe and Asanda will clean
up, you need to rest that leg. I will ask
Siphokuhle to bring you bottled water for pills, I
will tell everyone to let you be.” He says. “And
be ready at seven to go.” He says.
“Thank you.” I don’t ask about his grandson; I
am sure he will boycott that room now that his
enemy is using it. He gets up and helps me to
my feet, we walk out of the tent together and he
goes in the opposite direction.
The hut is exactly how I left it. I put the vest that
was on the bed on an empty chair and wheel my
bags to the front of the wardrobe before
opening the blankets. There is a knock at the
door and the little girl who came to get me
earlier turns out to be Siphokuhle and she has a
sealed water bottle.
“Thank you. Do you want sweets?” I ask.
“Mama doesn’t want us to eat sweets late.” She
tells me, okay that is valid. These humans can
get very energetic instead of sleeping.
“Okay. Goodnight then, thanks.” I say. She
smiles before jogging out. I change into a
nightdress before closing the door, I need to
find a key tomorrow so I can lock the door.
Hopefully, no one kills me in my sleep. I take the
pills before switching off the lights.
I bump into something; I use my hands to feel
what exactly it is. A human?! I sit up instantly
and jump out of bed, what if they are making
me sleep next to snakes that resemble humans?
Maybe if they can’t kill me physically they will
use witchcraft. I switch on the light and a very
dark man stares at me. It takes me a very long
moment to recognize him as the man who had
brought me a phone earlier.
“What are you doing here?” lord please, let him
not be who I think it is.
Can it be a matter of mistaken room or
something?
Please.
This is a man I wouldn’t even give a time of the
day under normal circumstances. I am into tall,
dark, and handsome not charcoal dark and Mr
here is the latter. And the handsome? Not so
much.
As if that isn’t enough he has this huge scar
that moves from under his right eye to his left
cheek, that must have hurt like hell but he is a
walking terminator. If there had to be a hitman
in this family then it is him, he fits the role
perfectly.
“This is my room.” God! He is my husband!
Thank God we are not that serious. Do you
know that serious where you fuck and
reproduce? Yes. And did he grow up in war?
Besides the fact that he seems to be a fan of
tattoos he has scars on his upper body, like the
one that runs across his left nipple to his throat,
how did that not kill him? Terminators don’t die,
that’s the only explanation.
“You are Sokhaya?” I ask, he is just staring at
me and he swallows then look up, I look down
and yes I am wearing the shortest nightie I own.
“Yes, and I am sleepy. I slept only two hours
ago, switch off the lights.” He says before
pulling up the blankets.
“So we will share a bed every night?” I ask.
“Yes, aren’t you my wife? Isn’t that what
husband and wife do?” he asks sitting back up,
he looks annoyed and yes, he looks scary.
Especially with that nose flared like that.
“Ummm, technically no. We didn’t sign
anywhere nor was I welcomed into the family.”
Not to mention that we are total strangers.
“Well, we are trying to bury the child that your
brother killed.” I swallow and look down.
“I will switch off the lights.” I tell him.
Forced Love

Insert Five

I yawn switching on the kettle, I am still sleepy

but after turning and turning next to that man
who slept like he isn’t sleeping next to a
stranger he hates I woke up and went to shower.
The time is 5 am and I am showered, dressed
and ready for anything. Okay, I am lying. I am
not ready for anything but going back to bed.
“I thought I was the ghost in this yard.” I turn to
find a girl I hadn’t met earlier.
“Hi. I couldn’t sleep.” I say and she smiles, now
this is warm.
“A lot of us can’t. Can you make me a cup too? I
tried to sleep after catching up on school work
but I can’t.” she says.
“I get you. I’ve been awake since midnight.” I tell
her. She sits and looks at me, not the creepy
way and there is no hatred in her eyes.
“You are beautiful.” I am shocked, she didn’t
just say that. I thought everyone hated me,
“Don’t tell me you never receive such
comments.” She says.
“Not so random and out of the blue.” I let her
know.
“Oh well, I am that random. By the way I am
Asanda.” She says.
“I am No.. Soyama.” It will take me ages to get
used to my new given name.
“Are you making breakfast?” she asks as I pour
her a cup of coffee.
“I am not sure what people have for breakfast
here.” I let her know.
“Make soft porridge. I am sure Asakhe will
make them lunch.” Asakhe is one of the women
who were here last night, she is married to
Sokhaya’s cousin.
“Okay. I am going to the doctor too so I might
be around here late, after lunch.” I tell her.
“Your leg? Tamkhulu did mention it.” She says.
“How is it?” she asks.
“The ointment from your doctor helps a lot.” I
say.
“He is good yena but very loyal to Tamkhulu.” I
noticed that; he did call him to tell him what he
thinks of my leg in my absence, “So if you want
to have secrets you better find yourself a
doctor.” She tells me and I look at her shocked.
“What secrets? Asanda don’t teach Sokhaya’s
wife amanyala.” Tamkhulu says walking in.
“No one said anything about secrets here
Madiba, you must be getting old.” She tells him
and he just laughs.
“Should I make you a cup, Tamkhulu?” I ask.
“No. I have to go check on my livestock, go
wake your husband. We have a lot to do.” He
says.
“Shouldn’t you have something to eat before
that? I am making soft porridge.” I say, they
can’t go choosing livestock hungry, what if a
cow chases after them? Not that Somnyamana
wouldn’t be able to fight it off.
“Okay, Asanda make me that cup. You wake
Sokhaya up.” He says. Argh! I was hoping
Asanda offers to go but she doesn’t so I leave
the room after asking her to heat up water for
me.
Sokhaya is awake, he is standing next to his hut
smoking. In his boxers and he doesn’t look like
he is in a good mood. I am taking deep breaths
as I approach him, “Morning.” I say standing
next to his very tall self and he looks at me and
then puffs. Okay, maybe my voice annoys him
or rubs him the wrong way.
“Tamkhulu asked me to get you.” I say.
“For?” Or maybe not so much.
“He said something about livestock.” I say.
“Okay. Take out my green work suit and a top.”
Excuse him? What am I? his maid? “Why are
you looking at me like that? Aren’t you my
wife?” he asks and I take deep breaths and walk
inside. The bed is unmade and I guess even
that is awaiting his maid, right? I first make it
and he walks back in when I am putting pillows
in their place. He says nothing and just walks to
the bathroom. I open the wardrobe and look for
what he mentioned, I also take out one of his
very dark tops. Who owns only brown, navy, and
black tops? No colour whatsoever? Must be a
medical condition, that is the only explanation
here.
I leave when I am sure I have taken out
everything. I find Asanda busy on her phone in
the kitchen, “I thought you got lost in this big
yard.” She says.
“No, I was taking out some stuff from your
brother.” I tell her.
“Don’t let him bully you. I took out mealie-mealie
for you.” She tells me.
“No, it is fine. I am always happy to help.” Such
a big lie but Asanda doesn’t need to know, she
is a kind person.

We are finishing dishing up when the lady from

town walks in, she looks at us and we both go
quiet. “Have you forgotten that we are mourning
here? Busy laughing.” She says glaring at me,
she just needs to say ‘because of your brother’
out loud.
“We are done with breakfast, is sisi up?” Asa
asks completely ignoring her anger or is it an
annoyance?
“And kill ourselves? No thanks. I will make oats
for us.” She says.
“Soyama woke up early to cook, everyone will
eat what she has made. Asanda, take the food
for your sister.” Tamkhulu says walking in and
he is followed by his grandson.
“Sit Tamkhulu, I am done dishing up.” I say
taking out the bowls of porridge I put aside for
them.
“Okay. Sit Sokhaya, and Nomakrestu, we spoke
about this. None of you will treat this girl like an
outsider, she didn’t ask to be here. I did.” He
says shrugging off his coat.
“Okay, Tamkhulu. Soyama where is mine?” she
asks.
“This one.” I point and she looks at it and then
back to me.
“Yours?” I show it to her and she takes the one
meant for me before walking away, she really
believes I am out to kill them? Sighs! I give
Tamkhulu and Sokhaya their food and take
Nomakrestu’s bowl.
“Tamkhulu, Mhonci is asking to speak with you
before you leave.” Asanda says walking in. The
woman everyone calls Mhonci is married to
Tamkhulu’s younger brother from what Asanda
told me and they call her that because they
grew up with everyone calling her that.
Apparently, she is the one who sits with
Samkelo’s mom on the mattress along with
Nomakrestu and Nomfundo. Asanda and
Andisiwe are the official errand girls.
“Okay sisi.” He replies. What a kind man. We eat
with Asanda asking me questions about my life
before coming here and I kind of humor her.
“So you were a media leisure person?” she asks.
“No. yes, I dealt with the media a lot but I was
kind of like the fixer there. My main duties had
to do with the media but I fixed problems
before they reach the media, sometimes
ensuring they don’t get to the media.” I tell her.
“Sounds exciting.” She says and I laugh.
“Challenging. I prefer challenging. It was a lot,
like the time the boss’ son lost a sex tape and I
had to ensure that it doesn’t reach the media.
Frustrating times.” I say and she laughs.
“What did that have to do with your job
description?” she asks.
“On a normal day, it doesn’t. but that would’ve
been the worst time to have the surname on the
company letterhead linked to a sex tape. The
big bosses were busy negotiating a deal with a
Mozambique billionaire. He is very big on family
and prefers to work with scandal-free
businesses. So you can imagine how busy I was.
Then bam, Vince loses his sex tape.” Asanda is
actually laughing, now that I think about it is
hilarious. The way I wanted to strangle that boy.
“Seems like swiping things under the carpet.”
Sokhaya says.
“More like used to cleaning up other people’s
messes.” He must never make the mistake of
thinking I am a pushover. “Tamkhulu I am ready
to go.” I say.
“Oh, I am not the one taking you. Your husband
is.” Lord take me now, send your heavenly
electricity to electrocute me!
“I am done, lets go.” He won’t change? “Why are
you staring at me like that?” he asks.
“You are not changing?” I hear myself ask and
doesn’t his sister burst into laughter?
“I will get your purse sisi.” She says.
“I am fine, bring my car keys.” Tamkhulu did
mention that Nxuba’s practise is in town, right?
Kanti ndifelani?
Seems like he will keep proving why he isn’t my
type. Going to town in boots full of mud?
Overalls? Lord!
Forced Love

Insert Seven
Asanda meets us at the car and helps me with
the bags while telling me that maybe I should
just buy bread and make soup because Mhonci
is complaining. I haven’t seen this Mhonci as I
have not been to the mourning room, and I am
not planning to.
“Why did no one come help?” I ask her as we
make our way to the kitchen.
“Apparently Sis’Noma told them there is no
need; they can come help tomorrow. And now
she has been stopping anyone from cooking.”
She says.
“It’s fine, get the oven ready. We will bake I
brought with me dough.” I say.
“Okay. But that will take long.” She says.
“I know, I have back up.” I say. I put on the kettle
and take out one 10L of scones, I bought four.
Some will help at the funeral tomorrow. Asanda
gets her sisters to help give everyone tea and
scones as a starter while I start baking. I can’t
believe in a yard with full-grown-ass women
they would’ve all died of hunger because they
are awaiting me to come to cook.
Nomakrestu walks in, stares at me before
walking out then comes back with a big scarf.
“You are not officially a bride but you can’t have
your arms like this. The body will arrive in three
hours, you can’t be this naked.” She says
putting this hideous thing around my shoulders.
I took off my blazer because well it was never
designed for the kitchen to start with.
“Okay. Is there something I should do to
prepare for tomorrow?” At home when we are
getting ready for funerals we hire a catering
business and I never really get involved in the
planning. I help with planning the service but
that is about it, here it seems like I am the one
being the adult.
“Asakhe and others will come very early in the
morning. You must be up by 4 am to welcome
them. The groceries have been bought, please
make sure you bake more bread for tomorrow.”
She tells me.
“Okay.” I am going to be dead exhausted when I
go to bed I can tell already.

Many relatives are arriving today so everyone is

treating me kinder, I can tell none of these
people know what is going on here. Asanda is
just a sweetheart the entire day, she keeps
helping me with everything.
“Yhuu, I swear you kids of today are not scared
of things, how do you come cohabit while there
is a funeral?” That is Sokhaya’s aunt from his
mother’s side, she speaks a lot I’ve come to see
but she is very helpful.
“She was set to get married any way but then
this happened.” Asanda comes to my rescue,
truly her grandfather’s daughter.
“And she saved you, I know you bantwana baka
sisi. You are very lazy, why is Andisiwe and
Nomfundo sitting on the mattress? They have
no business there.” Well, I like them there, to be
honest, my life here is already hard as it is. My
cell rings, it actually startles me, I thought I had
put it back on flight mode.
“Hi.” I say walking out of the house.
“Sis, don’t hang up.”
“What? Hell no!” I end the call and put the damn
thing back in flight mode before walking to the
house. Asanda and her aunt are laughing about
something and I am shaking, how dare he?
“Are you fine?” Asanda asks and I nod, I will be
fine. And I can’t exactly say it is her nephew’s
murderer.
I swear I will fall off. I am yawning all the way to
the hut I sleep in, makazi and I stayed up
making sure everything is complete. Asanda
wasn’t okay. Samkelo’s body arrived and now it
is in the main hut, the air changed in this yard
the moment that body arrived. And I was forced
to be there to welcome it, as a member of the
family. It didn’t have to be like that since well, I
am not officially family and I don’t know the boy
but Nomakrestu insisted. She wanted me to see
her sister, Samkelo’s mom.
And I did.
Yes, she hates me.
And no, she will never forgive my brother.
The pain in her eyes, the hatred that I saw when
she looked at me. If she could she would’ve
jumped at me and strangled me; I am going to
stay out of her way from now on. I never want
to bump into her even on the corridor, she might
just strangle me to death if her stares don’t kill
me first.
I push the door open and the door is empty,
thank God! He is probably spending the night
somewhere because if he was sleeping here
then he would be here because it is 1:30 in the
morning already.
I undress after locking the door now I am left
with my panties, I need a quick shower before
sleeping. I set my alarm then walk to the
bathroom, argh I left my toiletry bag in the room!
“God!” I yelp, where did he come from? He is
staring at me like he didn’t just scare me so
much I jumped out of my skin. “I locked the
door.” I say. He doesn’t say but looking at me
with those red eyes, was he crying? “Are you
okay?” I ask.
“You are naked.” I am? Lord Jesus!! I am naked,
I push him aside and run back to the room to
get something to wrap around myself. My gown
is on top of a chair so I put it on and sigh, thank
God!
He is standing at the bathroom door now,
watching me and now I feel so awkward. I am
even fumbling with my robe as I sit down on the
bed, “I thought you were not here.” I say. “I
mean this place was empty when I walked in.”
and what was he doing in the bathroom? I didn’t
see him nor hear any sound when I walked into
that bathroom.
“I was just sitting there thinking. Go on, I’ll
sleep.” He says and I nod, I walk to the
bathroom, this time taking my toiletry bag.
I walk into the bathroom and close the door
then look around. This place is not that big, I
couldn’t have missed him but also I would’ve
heard the door open, and I was in here for a
second so he wouldn’t have taken off his jacket
and vest that fast. I walk out the bathroom
again and he is sitting on top of the bed, “Where
were you?” I ask he and he looks at me
confused.
“The bathroom.” Obviously, he won’t tell me
what happened here. I walk back to the
bathroom and close the door behind me.
What if he is a witch? He could have just landed
from a broom, I need to start praying or I will be
a victim of witches. This is the only explanation
that makes sense, that he was flying over
people’s roofs and choosing his sacrifices.
Maybe he is looking for a body to bury with his
nephew, I’ve heard that witches accompany
their loved ones with other people’s blood.
Lord, do you think he is the only witch in this
family? What if they are all witches? And I will
be sacrificed? God! They probably had a
meeting deciding on how I should die.
I sit down and let the tears slide. I am married
to a family of witches, they are such bad
witches that even a man practices. What was I
thinking not sleeping early? From now on the
moment the clock hits midnight I will be long
asleep, I mustn’t stumble over their stuff. I don’t
want to be recruited.
Oh Mighty God! Would they recruit me?
But … but we are not good like that, right?
But to punish me they might turn me into one,
or maybe into their baboon. Lord! I jump into my
feet and bump into the table, my toiletry bags
fall.
“Are you fine?” he yells and I look around, can
he see me?
“Ye .. yes!” I reply.
Let me shower and sleep before one of them
appears behind me.
Forced Love
Insert Eight

The service is going on in the tent on the other

side of the yard and I am keeping myself busy
in the kitchen. All the wives here offered to take
over so I can attend the service, he was my
husband’s nephew after all, but I’ve politely
refused. Told them I am not really a funeral
person, which is true but it is not entirely the
reason why I don’t want to go. I don’t want to
hear how my brother cut Samkelo’s life short, I
don’t want a front-row seat to this family’s pain,
not when I have seen it from the moment I
arrived in this place.
“Do you guys believe in witchcraft?” it has been
in my mind all morning, I hardly slept.
“Why?” Asakhe asks.
“Lord! They have got to you, haven’t they? Look,
people will always talk, and just because people
believe your husband’s grandfather has a snake
it doesn’t me he does.” A woman I’ve come to
know as Nakhane says.
“A what?!” I am shocked.
“Snake. It is just jealousy, you look spooked.
Kanti why were you asking?” Oh my! Oh my
goodness! I am going to be licked by snakes
one of these days! Jesus, I need to find a
church around here.
“I..I..” my throat is dry, “My cousin was telling
me she thinks someone is practicing witchcraft
on her, that’s why I’m asking.” I lie giving them
my back, I am spooked.
“She must pray about it and find a healer to help
her.” That might be a good idea.
“Is there a church nearby?” One will need to get
to know their God if they want to survive this
place.
“We can go together Sunday.” Nakhane says
and I nod, “You look spooked. What she told
you is just pure nonsense, of course, there is no
snake here.” Well, I cannot be sure, Sokhaya
appears and disappears as he likes but I nod.
Whatever they say.
They change the topic but in my mind, I am
trying to think of what I might have to do to get
the snake out of here or at least far from me. I
will never live with a snake, what will I do if it
visits Sokhaya? Or if he turns into one? “Lord!” I
gasp.
“Are you okay?” Nakhane asks, I nod and rush
out of the kitchen.

I swear it was like this day would never end,

everyone has left, the tent has been taken down,
everyone has had dinner and I’ve cleared the
kitchen. Asanda is doing the dishes so I am
going to sleep. Sokhaya disappeared some time,
probably out hunting for their snake. I walk into
the room and I can hear the shower running so I
fix the bed and changed into pyjamas before
taking out my laptop, I need to relax so I will
watch a movie or anything on Netflix. Only if I
had a glass of wine, no, make that a bottle. I
need a bottle of wine to be able to sleep
soundly, it is after all another night sleeping
next to a stranger.
He walks out the bathroom and I make sure not
to look up, I wouldn’t even have heard the
bathroom door had this God-forsaken place had
a good network connection but it doesn’t.
“Did Tamkhulu tell you that the day after
tomorrow uzonxityiswa?” I take out my
earphones and look at him, now I am shocked.
No, he mentioned nothing of that sort to me.
“Well?”
“No.” I answer.
“Oh well, it is happening.” He says.
“How will this work?” that day he never gave me
a straight answer so maybe I will get one now.
“How will what work?” The is no way he is that
stupid, not at his big age anyway.
“This marriage. Do we see other people? Keep
up appearances?” I ask.
“By seeing other people you mean are you
allowed to have a boyfriend in this village? No.
You won’t come here and embarrass me like
that, not where I was born and raised. As far as
the people here are concerned we are happy
and in love, we will keep it that way.” He tells
me getting on his side of the bed.
“But we are not. You hate me. And I don’t even
want to be here.” I say.
“True but a small price to pay for your brother’s
life don’t you think?” Oh yah, a reminder to keep
me in check, right? “Switch off that thing I want
to sleep, I have an early morning. I have to
complete rituals for my dead nephew.” He says
before pulling the blanket over his head.

Five weeks.
35 days.
840 hours.
50 400 minutes.
And 1 209 600 seconds.
Yes, I am counting. I have been counting since
the day I was officially named Soyama and
introduced to the ancestors and welcomed to
the family and the community as Sokhaya’s
wife. And in my life, I’ve never cried as I cried
that day and the following weeks. I cried from 3
am when I was woken up to be washed off any
filth I may have picked along as an unmarried
woman. As I went under that cold water I cried.
I didn’t just cry because I was officially
Sokhaya’s wife or that I am now married to a
man I don’t even like. I cried because now I am
stuck here, in this God forbidden place with
people who hate me. I cried for what could’ve
been, my dreams, my hopes, and life.
That water’s coldness was the last thing on my
mind, I could feel that water strip me of my
being. I could feel myself being washed away by
that cold water, and when I came out I was
gone. Something had been left inside that river
and I am afraid that even if I manage to escape
this place I will never be Nontle again. I don’t
think I will ever escape Soyama again, from
here onwards I will forever be Soyama. I sat
there listening to them telling me the dos and
don’ts of this new role of mine on earth and I
choked on my tears, I was being taught how to
not live unless I am under Sokhaya’s shadow.
And the sad part? There is nothing I can do
about it.
“Sorry sister.” I jump yelping, I had gotten lost in
thoughts. That happens a lot these days.
“Yes.” I say blinking.
“Mlungu told me to tell you he might not be
home tonight, he went to Mthatha.” He says and
I nod.
Mthatha? You may wonder, that is where his
long-term girlfriend lives and works. Seems like
the exclusivity rule only applies to me. I know he
won’t be back so I stop what I am doing.
Tamkhulu is visiting some relatives and
everyone else went back to their lives, turns out
only Sokhaya and Tamkhulu live here but now I
have become the ghost of this yard. I am not
allowed to leave this yard without a shadow,
can’t be out for more than 3 hours unless I am
in town. So like a prisoner, I am always
wondering about this yard. I’ve even switched
the flight mode off but I am also not on any
social network, watching my peers and friends
live is hard.
I will have bread and eggs, what is the use of
cooking if I will eat alone? Sokhaya will probably
be away until tomorrow night.

Bam! I jump. Look around, must have been

dreaming.
Bam! It goes off again. Now I jump out of bed
and look around the hut but this is a rondavel
with just a bathroom and a wardrobe, where
would I hide? The guns just keep going off and
like a rabbit I am jumping around the room
looking for a hiding spot.
“Stop!” I stop in my tracks, I turn to find a tall
man pointing a gun at me, I move my hand from
the bathroom door handle and put them in the
air. “So Sokhaya left his wife alone in this big
yard?” he says walking in.
“I am sorry.” Why am I apologizing? Being the
wife he hates?
“I must say he can choose.” He says brushing
the gun on my cheeks, “I might just enjoy
myself before ending you. Nothing will kill him
like knowing I didn’t just kill you but ate on his
plate too, and you begged me not to stop.”
What is he….? Lord no! God no!
“Please, no. please.” I am on my knees now,
“Kill me, go ahead. Do it.” He may as well free
me from my misery but he must not rape me,
he can’t do that to me. He is unbuckling his belt,
his trousers fall to his ankles and his dick
dangles on my face. “Come on touch it, I know
you want to.” He says then puts his gun on my
forehead, “Do it or I shoot you.” He says.
“I’d rather d…”
Bang !!
Forced Love

Insert Nine

“Sisteri you cannot leave, please wait for

Mlungu.” I swear I will jump onto this man if he
doesn’t let me through this gate. I don’t know
how I am getting back to Cape Town seeing it is
Sunday and this is a village but I will hitchhike
until I get there, as long as I am away from here.
“Do you see him? Is your Mlungu here? Wasn’t I
the one who almost died?!!” I yell at the top of
my lungs. I am sure the neighbours can hear me
and the nearest neighbour is a good 15 or so
minutes away.
“It won’t happen again.” He looks tired, well I
have been screaming since last night telling
them I am leaving and it is not even 5 am yet.
“Please go inside, it is not safe for you to be
standing in the middle of the yard.” Does he
think I am safe inside? Where that man walked
in and found me alone? And almost killed me?
“As if I am safe in there. Bhuti wabantu I am
going home and you are not going to stop me.
So tell your goons to open that door.” I say I am
tired of yelling so I say it quietly this time.
“I will take it from here.” Oh! If it isn’t the
husband of the year! The man looks so glad to
see him and I am sure it is because his ears
probably hurt like hell. “You are causing a
scene.” He says.
“Well if your man would let me leave then I
wouldn’t be making a scene.” I say.
“Go inside Soyama, this little show you are
putting up isn’t helping anyone.” He says. I blink
back tears, I almost died. I almost got shot, that
man would’ve raped me.
“I hate you.” He just stares at me, “I hate you
and your whole family! I …. I … I ….” My chest is
closing off, I hold it trying to breathe but I can’t.
he is saying something but I can’t hear him. My
throat is closing off. My vision is becoming
blurred.

I open my eyes and look around, I am met by

the room I’ve woken up in a couple of times. My
eyes land on the bathroom door and I jump off
the bed screaming; the door is pushed
immediately. Men carrying guns run in and start
looking around.
“What are you doing here?” Sokhaya asks
standing next to the door while I am shaking
next to the dressing table.
“She screamed Mlungu.” One tells him.
“Leave.” Why is he so rude? “Are you okay?” like
he cares.
“I’ll be fine.” I say looking at the spot that man
fell in. Everything happened so fast, one
moment he was threatening to rape me the
next he was dropping dead next to me and his
blood all over my gown, I get on top of the bed
and curl myself into a foetus position.
“Nxuba said you had a panic attack and that is
normal after what you went through.” He says
and I nod, hot tears streaming down my face.
“Are you hungry?” I shake my head. “Okay.
Rest.” He says and turns to walk away.
“Will they come back?” I whisper and I think he
didn’t hear me but he stops.
“No, you are safe now. They won’t try anything
now.” He says.
“Can you stay? Until I fall asleep?” I ask but I
regret it the moment I ask him, “Or one of your
guys could come and sit on the chair until I fall
asleep.” I add.
“I’ll stay.” He says and walks back to the chair
and sits, he stares at me and I didn’t ask him to
come here and look at me like that. I turn
around and sleep in the same position closing
my eyes.
“He said he wanted to teach you a lesson.” I
sniff away my tears, “He was going to shoot
me.” A sob escapes my mouth, he wanted to kill
me. Why am I so unlucky in life?
“You are safe now Soyama.” I keep nodding but
I don’t believe him. I will never be safe as long
as I am married to him, as long as people think I
am the woman he loves and would die for. I will
forever have a target on my back, whatever is
going on between him and those men is too
personal, the hatred in that man’s eyes was too
real. They will keep coming back over and over
again until they’ve hurt him.
“They knew you were not here.” I tell him before
pulling the blanket over my head.
I wake up alone again, this time I don’t scream
but get off the bed, I am hungry. I can feel my
stomach hurting from that pain. I am putting on
my jacket when the door opens and I scream
dropping it. “He is not here. He is not here.
Please.” I yell falling to my knees and putting
my hands over my ears. “Please, don’t hurt me.”
I keep screaming as someone hugs me from
behind.
“Is she okay, Bhuti?!” I hear Asanda yell and I
look around, it’s Sokhaya and his sisters.
“Leave.” He says, he still hasn’t let me go and I
am just sitting there listening to my heartbeat;
“You are safe Soyama.” He tells me.
“I am hungry.” I say and he lets me go before
getting to his feet, I pick up the jacket and put it
on.
“Come, Asanda had cooked earlier.” He tells me
and I nod, “Come.” I let him lead me out of the
house, we walk in the cold chills of the morning,
I have no doubt it is the early hours of the
morning. We walk into the main house through
the kitchen door, Asanda is in the kitchen.
“Sisi, are you okay?” she asks. I nod, “I have
your food, let me warm it up. Bhuti Tamkhulu
asked you to go see him.” She tells her brother.
“Okay.” He says before walking out.
Asanda warms up my food in silence and I sit
there in a daze, she pushes it to me then sit and
watches me while I eat. “I am sorry.” She finally
says.
“I am fine.” I lie.
“You don’t have to lie; someone should’ve been
here.” She says.
“You couldn’t be here; you were at school.” I say,
“And I am glad that you weren’t.” I’d never wish
what I experienced on anyone, not even
Nomakrestu who hates me passionately.
“I wish you weren’t here, too. He could’ve killed
you.” She says.
“Or…” the words get stuck in my throat.
“What did he do to you Sisi?” she asks.
“He wanted ....” fresh tears fall off my tears, “He
was naked Asanda.” I say and she gasps and
quickly come to my side to hug me and I sob.
“He had his trousers on his feet.” I sob.
“Did he touch you?” I jump at his voice and turn
to find him standing at the door with Tamkhulu,
“Soyama, did he rape you?” I shake my head
and get off the chair.
“Makoti you need to tell us.” Tamkhulu says but
I rush out of the house and run to where I sleep,
I don’t want to talk about what happened. In the
hut, I get into bed and pull the covers over my
head before sobbing. I hear the door open and
close then footsteps towards the door.
“Soyama, what did that man do?” he asks and I
just sob, “Soyama!!” he shouts my name.
“What do you want to hear? That you were not
here, that none of you were here and I was left
to pay for your sins? Huh?! What do you want
me to say? That I begged him to kill me just so
he doesn’t rape me? Huh? That he had his dick
in my face and a gun in my head? Telling me to
touch him? Or do you want me to tell you that I
would’ve done it because the gun was so cold
on my forehead that I actually peed on myself?!
Huh?!!” I yell.
He is quiet now.
I just hold the blanket tighter around me and
sob, why did he force me? I didn’t want to speak
about this, he should’ve let me be.
Forced Love

Insert 10
There is something heavy on my body, I try to
move but it holds me tight. “I am sorry.” He
says holding me tight.
“Let go Sokhaya, I need to go make something
to eat for you guys.” I say.
“They have already eaten. Sleep.” He says.
“Sleeping won’t change anything. I won’t spend
my life under these blankets.” I tell him.
“I will make them pay.” He says.
“Then what? They come back and do more
damage and then you’ll go and attack them too?
It is a vicious cycle; can’t you see?” I ask.
“After I deal with them no one will ever think of
coming here ever again, they didn’t have to do
that to you.” He says, “You have nothing to do
with any of this.” He adds.
“I want to forget. That is all I want, erase that
man’s smell and everything about him.” I tell
him.
“It will take time. I will get Nxuba to get you
sleeping pills.” He says.
“That won’t change anything.” I let him know.
“Maybe get you the brain doctor.” He suggests,
I shake my head. “What will make you forget?”
he asks. Having my memory wiped maybe?
“Sex.” I have thought about this while I turned
and turned in this bed and I have decided sex
will make me forget what almost happened to
me, it will make me cope.
“Huh?”
“Sex Sokhaya. I want sex.” I say.
“Tjooh.” I know exactly how he feels about me
and that is why I don’t want the sex from him.
“Not from you.” I add, now he lets me go and
sits up, I sit up too.
“Did that boy hit your head?” Really?
“You hate me, fine. I am not expecting sex from
you, had I been in Cape town I’d have a hook-up
lined up but I am here so I don’t know anyone
here. But I will make a plan.” He looks modified
but I’ve made up my mind. Sex has always
helped me cope, always. When my older sister
died, sex saw me through. When I lost my baby,
sex was what helped me forget until the pain
didn’t suffocate me. Until I could cope on my
own.
“How many men have you slept with?” what
does that have to do with this?
“I’m 26, I’ve been having sex since I was 18 so
how many do you think?” I ask.
“You are my wife now; you can’t go sleeping
around. Next thing you’ll come home pregnant.”
He says.
“You are sleeping around too, next thing you’ll
come back here with many kids.” I shoot back.
“It is not the same.” He says, mxm! I get out of
bed.
“Either way I am going to find someone. I was
just doing you the courtesy of telling you.” I say
and walk away, I need a shower so I can take
the sleeping pills and sleep.
The water is so warm, it hits my skin so soft
and I close my eyes but all I see is that man, his
dirty smelly dick in my face. Okay, I let out a big
breath, I can get rid of him, I just need to find a
happy place. That is what Dr Tamryn said after
Sihle died, that finding a happy place inside me
will help me deal and that is what I’ll do. Until I
can find my escape.
Hands touch my shoulder and I don’t jump, I still
have my eyes closed and I am thinking of my
graduation day, Sihle is coming towards me
with a bunch of flowers and she has this huge
smile but I can’t see her clearly. Her face is
blurred now, I shoot my eyes open and turn my
body around to find Sokhaya.
“I thought you wouldn’t do it.” I say.
“I am your husband. At some point, we will have
to have sex.” He tells me.
“Doesn’t mean it has to be now.” I say, “But I am
not complaining.” I say before standing on my
toes to kiss him. This doesn’t have to mean
anything, and besides, I’ve done this numerous
times, had sex with a man I don’t care for, and
discarded them. Some whose names I don’t
even remember. I break the kiss and look at him,
“Are you clean?” he stares at me confused. “Do
you have any STIs or HIV?” I ask.
“No. I am clean.” He tells me and I drop to my
knees, he is big, okay? But this is terminator
after all, everything of his is big. Even his hands
are big so I didn’t expect anything less, it is
popping veins, that is how hard he is. I tease
him a bit, kiss the tip before taking him all in
and as expected it reaches my throat, and I
almost gag. Almost! Phela, I’m a pro at this.
I move it up and down my mouth, move out to
almost taking it all out then put it all out. I take
it out, and lick it before taking the balls into my
mouth while playing with the dick.
He is calling his late mom.
His big hands are about to break my skull but
I’m a big girl so I soldier on. He lets out a big
growl, tenses, holds my head much tighter, and
his seed spills all over my breasts.
He is panting and seems like he is out of breath
but I am not done with him, not by long shot. I
get up and kiss him, he kisses me back, lifts me
up so my legs are around his waist before
putting me against the shower wall. It is
slippery, “We will fall.” I pant but he doesn’t
answer me. Instead, he is sucking my breasts
and his free hand is between us, he rubs my clit.
Cold air hit my head instantly and I have lost
reasoning now.
I am panting, holding onto his shoulders while
my legs shake from the earth-shuttering
orgasm that has shuttered my world apart. He
slips in, very slowly and calculated. “Sokhaya.” I
whisper as my walls stretch and I clench around
him, I am still shaking from what just happened.
He pulls until he is all out then slides back in.
Repeats this.
Then he moves slowly. I grab his butt and keep
pushing him, helping him. “Rougher.” I tell him.
And rougher is exactly what I get.
I am tired, I am sleepy and I can hardly keep my
eyes open. Sokhaya lifts me up and we walk out
tof he bathroom with me in his arms and my
arms tight around his neck. “You need to get
dressed.” He says.
“I need to sleep.” I can hardly say the words
without yawning. “Thank you.” I say when he
puts me down on the bed, I am not sure if for
the sex or for getting me to bed. Might be the
former though because he exhausted me, I
might not need those sleeping pills after all.

“You look better today.” Asanda says and I

laugh, I feel better. I did say sex will make me
feel better and her brother is not that bad, he
can do his thing.
“I feel better. Take this to by the kraal.” I say
handing her a tray with two glasses. Just as she
walks out my cell rings, it is back on. “Hey
chomie.” I say.
“You are still alive? God is good.” Trust Lolo to
be dramatic.
“Hayibo! I did say I will be busy.” I say.
“With what? For all we know you could be
kidnapped by some gangsters.” She should
consider being a sangoma because what is this?
Spot on!
“I am okay. I have been just under the weather
lately but I am fine. How are you guys?” I ask.
“Your mother said you are married.” She did,
didn’t she?
“Long story.” I say.
“Make it short Nontle, you are married. Married?
How? You were not even seeing anyone.” She
says.
“Not now. One day I will tell you guys everything
but not now, lets not fight Lolo please. I had the
worst week of my life and I am finally feeling
okay so lets not argue.” I say.
“Fine. Anyway I have news.” Of course she does.
“And I have time.” I will not be making dinner
until later on.
Forced Love

Insert Eleven

Asanda has left and again, it is just me and

Sokhaya. Tamkhulu is gone again, something
about visiting a friend, I feel like he is doing this
on purpose too. His grandson has been
spending a lot of time at the farm now, Mandla
is looking after the livestock in the yard. He
comes home when he thinks I am asleep, I
always hear him drive in, and he always takes at
least an hour before coming into the hut to
sleep. We have had sex a couple of times since
that day, he sometimes initiates it. In fact, he
has been initiating it a lot lately but also he’d
look the other way afterwards.
I will be honest, I don’t know how to navigate
this, I have never had a booty call I sleep next to
every night.
He hired more security. I have come to see
more men I don’t know in the yard.
Today is Sunday, he is at the farm again but
today I am going to church with Nakhane and I
always look forward to seeing her. Nakhane is a
doctor and works at the local clinic, her
husband works at the farm with Sokhaya and is
his best friend.
“You look miles away.” She says as we walk to
the church.
“It’s nothing.” The lie comes easily, all my life I
never really shared my issues with anyone but
I’ve always solved everyone’s issues.
“Come on, I can tell you are not fine. Tell you
what, lets skip church. I have wine in my car, I
know a place.” She says already turning around.
Mandla always drops me off at church then
leaves and Nakhane would drop me off or he’d
pick me up again. I follow behind her in disbelief.
And true to her word once we are inside she
drives off, “I know this whole arranged marriage
must be hard on you, and this thing with your
brother makes matters hard.” I am almost faint
from the shock.
“You know?”
“Our husbands are best friends, of course I do.
But I don’t care, you are here now, you are
Sokhaya’s wife and you are my friend, at least I
see you as one.” She says.
“I see you as one too. And I am glad you know, I
am frustrated. This pretending is driving me
crazy.” I say.
“You guys will be fine, believe it or not arranged
marriages are a thing around here.” She says,
“But we are not going to speak of those men,
they are probably still at the farm.” She says.
“Mlo works late too?” I ask.
“Yes. A crisis with shipment, Sokhaya isn’t
avoiding you. He isn’t a coward, at least I don’t
know him to be.” She says. She stops in a veld
and we get off, we both take off our heels
before she takes out a fleece and two bottles of
wine. “We won’t stress, we will talk about
random stuff. Shopping, latest fashion, gossip
or whatever woman discuss.” She says.
“I need to go buy some wife appropriate
clothes.” I tell her.
“Then we need to start shopping, don’t you
think?” she gulps the drink and hand me the
bottle. “I will get leave and we can go shopping
in East London or PE. Your husband’s lackey
can drive us.” She says.
“That one. You want to be followed around?” I
ask.
“He will sit in a food spot or the car, andimoyiki
uMandla and you shouldn’t too. He is all bark
and no bite, just a lackey that follows Sokhaya
around, just like Mavuso.” Mavuso is her
husband’s driver, almost like Mandla.
“Mavuso respects you.” I say.
“No. he is scared of me, you should stop acting
like you did something wrong. You didn’t. And
those men in that yard should know.” She says.
“As long as Sokhaya keeps his open affair, they
will never respect me.” I tell her.
“Oh that one? That could be fixable Soyama,
you can get rid of that woman and get your
husband but the question is do you want that?”
Do I want that? What a huge question.
“The sex is good.” She bursts into laughter.
“Sokhaya is actually a smart guy, I didn’t expect
that, he has this caring side that I like, and he is
not that ugly.” I tell her.
“Then we are getting Nandipha off the equation.
Step 1, shopping. You are going to take care of
how you look, you are already having sex so lets
add a few things to spice that up. Step 2, the
farm, that farm is Sokhaya’s baby and what you
will do is get involved, you will show interest
and help out wherever you can.” Tjooh so much
work? All for a man?!
“Manual labour is not my thing, I am already
struggling with house work.” I tell her.
“Sokhaya and Mlo are trying to get a skills
programme off the ground, you can get involved
in that, help with that. Step 3, my mom always
said the way to a man’s heart is through his
stomach, she never lied. Step 4, never ask
about Nandipha, ignore that relationship and
trust me, that will annoy him because you will
be doing all the things a loving wife does but
still not caring about what he does.” She tells
me.
“You seem to know what to do.” I say.
“Well, I married Mlondolozi because my parents
owed his parents money, they had taken a loan
from them to pay for my degree. He was with
some girl from Ziphunzana, anyway I did what I
had to do. And we are celebrating ten years
next month.” She says.
“Tjooh, I didn’t know.” I say.
“Well, you could always share him with her,
every time you pop a child she will pop hers,
every decision you and Sokhaya make will
revolve around her, their plans.” She says,
“Think about it.” She tells me.

We have been sitting here for hours, Nakhane

even called some children who were passing to
go get us a carry pack of savannah. We are
chatting about random stuff right now, Mlo
called and she told him we went out.
She takes her cell and laugh, “Look at the time.
Whoa, yazi kotyiwa ntoni?” she giggles and I
giggle too looking at the time. It is already half-
past seven. My phone rings, Sokhaya’s name
flashes on the screen and I show it to her, we
both burst into laughter. Dang! I am so drunk.
“Zondwa.” I answer and Nakhane falls to her
back laughing.
“Soyama, don’t Zondwa me, where are you?” he
sounds angry, this is funny. “You are … Soyama
are you drunk?” I laugh again.
“You sound angry terminator.” Nakhane is
rolling with laughter. I cannot believe how fast
we got drunk. We only had two bottles of white
dry wine and well, two 330 ml savannahs each,
not much.
“God! Unxilile, didn’t you leave here going to
church?” he asks.
“Well, plans change.” I say.
“Give Nakhane the phone.” I hand it to the
giggling fool next to me.
“Madiba …. Emaqaqeni.” She says and hands it
back to me but the call is already cut. “Seems
like we have destinated drivers.” She says
shrugging.
“He sounded angry.” I say.
“I will open my last savannah as we wait, don’t
mind that one. They will be strong.” She says,
well opening another savannah sounds like a
good idea.

Getting drunk seemed like a good idea but now

I can’t stand straight, Nakhane is stumbling to
her laughing husband. Mine? My husband is
staring at me in disbelief. “Soyama?” he sounds
shocked as I walk to him, trying so hard to not
fall. “What did you two drink?” at least he
doesn’t sound angry now that he actually opens
his mouth.
“I can’t walk, will you help your wife?” I ask
standing on one place. I’ve tried, I’ve failed. He
walks toward me, put his arm around my waist
and I lean on him as we walk to the car.
“See you Kusasa!!” Nakhane calls as she is
helped into her car.
“Bye bestie!!” I yell back.
Sokhaya helps me into the car and gets on his
side then look at me, “Kodwa Mkam what will I
do with you?” he asks looking at me.
“I don’t know Madiba, have you eaten? I will
make you something.” I say.
“You are too drunk to cook, I ate don’t worry. We
can just go to sleep.” He tells me.
“Okay. But I am hungry, I haven’t eaten since
breakfast.” I tell him.
“No wonder you are this drunk Soyama, I will
make you something to eat.” He promises.
Forced Love

Insert Twelve

My head!
Oh, my damn head!
“Morning.” Why is he so loud, I open my eyes,
sit up still holding the side of my head. “Don’t
drink that much if you can’t handle it.” Yha
Nakhane and I went to wild there, lord what was
on those wines of hers? I am only 26, it’s too
early for me not to be able to handle my alcohol.
“I made coffee, drink it and the pills. I will be at
the kraal.” He says.
“Okay. Umm Sokhaya, how did I get here?” I
remember us driving home, not coming to the
hut, not changing into this nightdress. I swore
to never wear this short thing in this room
anymore.
“I had to carry you in, dress you up and all.” He
says, just as he is at the door he stops, “Also
I’m old Soyama, I will not have a drunkard for a
wife. Don’t embarrass me.” And he walks out.
Sigh!
At least he made me coffee. And it is too strong!
I drink it though, I have to if I want to make it
out of this bed this morning. My phone rings, an
unknown number, what now? Should’ve put it
back to flight mode.
“Soyama Ndaba hello.” I answer.
“Glad you still remember who you are Soyama
Ndaba.” Wait … is that? Is that Si’Nomandiya? I
jump out of bed as if she can see me.
“Sisi?” I am sweating right now.
“Nyinyi? Soyama ungumfazi okanye inkazana?”
she sounds angry and this is the first time we
ever spoke.
“I am a wife, sisi.” I feel like a small child being
reprimanded in the principal’s office.
“Then behave as such Soyama, behave as
someone’s wife. We have a name, a name that
you will not drag through the mud you hear me?
If you were a known drunkard where you come
from, you will not be that here.” She says.
“I am sorry.” I say.
“Behave yourself.” And the call ends. I sit back
down and tears fall off, why are they making
such a big deal out of this? Yes, I drank but we
were on some secluded hill, he picked me up
from there, I didn’t even go to the local tarven! A
few savannahs and he called his sister on me?
Maybe Nandipha can have him.

He walks in, his boots full of mud, it is raining

outside and I am making something for lunch.
Scrubbing the cupboards, he looks at me but
says nothing. Takes off the boots and put them
by the door and goes to the fridge.
“How is your head?” he asks.
“Fine.” I reply.
“Should I send Mandla to buy dinner? I thought
you’d want to rest.” He says.
“I’m okay. I’m the wife so I’ll do my work.” I tell
him. He walks out without saying anything
further.
I move from the cupboard to the fridge, I will
clean this damn kitchen like this, every day, so
that when they come home they will see I am
taking pretty good care of their home.
Lunch is done. I’ve dished up and Sokhaya has
been in the living room, I don’t get why he is not
on the farm. Maybe he is scared I will go and
get drunk, he shouldn’t worry himself.
“Sokhaya, tell me.” I say standing over him as
he has his food and he looks up, “When are you
taking a second wife?” he chokes on his food
and I wait.
“Se … second what? Soyama what are you
talking about?” he asks.
“Yes. A second wife. Get a second wife Sokhaya,
a wife who will be perfect so your sisters will
get off my case.” I tell him.
“My sisters? Soyama what happened? What are
you talking about?” he asks.
“You know who you called. You know Sokhaya,
the wife you and your family want? I cannot be
her. 1, I am 26 years old. Number 2, I’ve never
been married before so I don’t know how to be
a wife. 3, I don’t even know you and I am still
trying to know the man I married. 4, I have never
been a ‘yes ma’am’ ‘yes, sir’ woman so I will
never be that. In case none of you noticed, I was
thrown in the deep end here, and every day I am
forever trying to swim to the shore. One
moment I was doing the work I love and happy
with my life, the very next I was here being a
housewife who does the same thing ever
fuckin’ day.” I say and breathe, he is just staring
at me. “Yesterday? Yesterday may have
embarrassed you but I needed yesterday, I
needed to sit like that with another woman and
laugh at stupid things while getting sloshed, you
and your sister may disapprove but I needed
that.” I tell him.
“What sister? Soyama what are you talking
about?” he asks.
“Now I will go lie down. You think of getting a
wife that will please you and your sister, I am
not her. I give you my blessings.” I turn around
and walk out.
The front door opens and Sokhaya walks in with
Tamkhulu, I get up quickly to greet him.
“Soyama, how are you?” he asks holding my
hand.
“I am fine, how were the relatives?” when he left
he said he is off to meet some relatives but
Asanda thinks he is dating and was on some
beacation. Apparently she called a few relatives,
he wasn’t there.
Sneaky old man!
He smiles, “They were good my dear.” This old
man. “Soyama will you make your old man tea?”
and he still loves tea.
“Of course, Bhuti ka Asanda you want tea too?”
He stares at me, nothing annoys him like this
Bhuti ka Asanda business but that is what his
sisters said I should call him, I am being a good
wife right now.
“Coffee is fine.” He says and I walk away. My
phone rings just as I put on the kettle.
“Is the battle over?” Nakhane is annoying, very.
And in a good way.
“No. Far from it.” She laughs and I laugh too.
“Mlo and I will join you for dinner, should I bring
wine?” she asks.
“Tamkhulu is home.” I tell her.
“Whoa that one, he is thirsty too. I will bring
wine, meat and salads. You make rice.” She
says.
“I am the host, let me cook.” I say.
“I have a helper, you don’t. Besides she will be
cooking for the kids too.” She tells me.
“Then 7pm sharp.” I say.
“We will be there twenty minutes early.” She
tells me, “Let me go inject some oldies.” She
ends the call. See why she is annoying? No
hello, No Goodbye, just vibes.
I take the tray of tea to the living room and
Tamkhulu and his grandson seem to be in deep
conversations, “Makoti sit.” He says.
Okay. Okay, I was going to give them privacy, I
sit anyway. “Is everything okay?” I ask.
“That is what I want to know, Sokhaya says you
two have some problems.” He says.
“We do? Bhuti ka Asanda we have problems?” I
ask looking at him, things have never been this
exciting since I got here, annoying Terminator
proves to be joyful.
“See? Why am I bhuti ka Asanda all of a sudden?
I swear Tamkhulu I will grow grey hair, this child
you brought me is giving me headache.” He
sounds so annoyed.
“Then I will just call you bhuti, is that fine, Bhuti
Sokhaya?” I ask crossing my legs.
“Kanti Soyama what is going on? I am too old
for this, just be straight with each other please.”
Tamkhulu says.
“Ask her. Just last week I was being told to get
a second wife, now I am being called Bhuti ka
Asanda, she wakes up at 5 am Tamkhulu, wears
these hideous sleeping night dresses.”
“Okay. Don’t tell me about your bedroom.”
Tamkhulu looks terrified and I want to laugh,
“Soyama, you want to bump into ghosts? 5
am?” okay maybe 5 am was not one of my
brightest ideas but Sokhaya loves morning sex,
he isn’t getting it. He is grumpy, works for me.
He might get a heart attack from all the
grumpiness.
“Well Tamkhulu I am being a good wife seeing
he will not get one to be a good wife. He is the
one who complained to Sisi about me not
behaving how a wife should, well I am.” I say.
“See? I don’t know what she is talking about.”
He says.
“Didn’t you call Siphokuhle’s mom to complain
about me?” I ask.
“No. Why would I do that?” he asks.
“Well your sister called me about something
you knew about, she complained about my
outing with Nakhane.” I say.
“Sokhaya? Don’t I always tell you to try to sort
your issues with makoti together? Why call your
sister over such a petty matter?” Tamkhulu
asks and he takes out his phone and dial, it
rings. He put it on loud?
“Mntaka tata.” Sisi answers on the other side.
“Did you and Soyama have a fall out?” I want to
run, why is he putting me on the spot?!
“No. Not that I know of.” She replies.
“Maka Samkelo, you called my wife about her
going out with Nakhane, something I knew
about and didn’t have a problem with. Why?” he
asks.
“You didn’t have a problem? Well, Mandla
called…”
He doesn’t let her finish, “So you have Mandla
spying on us?” he asks.
“Utheni na Sokhaya? Impundu zalomntana
ziyakuphambanisa?” she sounds upset.
“That is not your business. Were you not the
one who asked me to make this work? Well we
are doing our best, put your dog down or I will
deal with him.” He says.
“Whatever, I have patients to deal with. You deal
with your lapdog, tell Soyama I said sorry if the
information I got was wrong.” She says.
“Call her, you have her numbers.” He ends the
call and get up, “I am going to the farm, I have
work.” He tells us and walk out.
“There you have it ke makoti. Seems like you
were in the wrong this time, child.” Tamkhulu
says getting up. “I will go lie down.” He says.
Fuck Mandla.
I dial Nakhane when Tamkhulu is out of earshot.
“Mandla called sisi.” I say immediately.
“What? Yhooo, do you need poison? For Mandla
that is.” Sometimes I want a few minutes in
Nakhane’s head.
“Sokhaya is angry and off to the farm, what
should I do?” I ask.
“Give him sex.” Hebanna!
“Nakhane be serious.” I say.
“You have been giving him the cold shoulder,
wear a nice little number and a coat then go see
him.” She says.
“This idea is all great but your husband is
probably in that office.” I say.
“Leave taka Sanele to me.” She says and I laugh.
“Okay. Hope it works.” I say.
“He has blue balls wherever he is, it will work.”
She sounds certain.
“I doubt, just because Nandipha is in Mthatha it
doesn’t mean he wouldn’t have made a plan.” I
say.
“Have faith on the guy please.” Nakhane thinks
Sokhaya and I will be like her and Mlondolozi,
but as much as I wouldn’t mind it, I don’t see it
also.
Why did I start liking the guy?
Forced Love

Insert Thirteen

This place is huge, and so many people work

here. Many are greeting and smiling at me as I
make my way to the office and some are just
glaring at me. I knock softly, “Come in!” he
shouts. I breathe and open the door, he gets to
his feet immediately, “Did something happen at
home?” he asks.
“No. Everything is fine, I came to see you.” I say
closing the door behind me and looking around.
Mlondolozi isn’t here.
“Oh, sit. I will get Nobuhle to get you tea.”
Nobuhle?
“Nobuhle?” I ask.
“Yes. You look jealous.” He says.
“No, I am not. We need to talk, I am sorry for
everything.” I am no longer feeling like sex
anymore, not on a desk that Nobuhle has been
probably spread on.
“It is fine but know I am not some little boy who
hides behind his sisters.” He says.
“I know now. What are you busy with? Nakhane
was telling me you are trying to start a literate
programme.” I say.
“Yes, harder than I thought it would be. I might
just have to ask one of the girls to play their
part.” He says.
“Let me help, I have nothing I am busy with
anyway.” I say.
“You know that would be helpful, I am too
swamped I don’t have time for this.” He says.
“You can give me your plan, I will go over it.” I
say.
“Over there.” He points at a desk behind him, I
get up and walk there. “Soyama, what are you
wearing beneath this coat?” Lord! I know God
was never on my side because I was not
supposed to give him time to even think of how
my legs are all out in this knee length coat.
“Your skirts are not this short.” He is on his feet
now.
What was my sin? I married such an old man
who is probably going to see nothing sexy
about this.
“A lingerie.” I reply after a long sigh.
“Yet I have not seen it.” He has this
mischieveous smile on his face, he is just a
horny old man.

I thought setting up the foundation would be

easy, I can only wish! People here do not trust
strangers. I am struggling a bit, to even get
them to be willing to participate in the project,
yet it is here to help them.
My cellphone rings under the pile of paper,
probably Mandla who has forgotten what I sent
him to get.
But no.
An unknown number.
Am I not fed up with unknown numbers?
“Soyama Ndaba hello?” I hope whoever it is will
get to the point.
“Sisi I cannot reach bhuti.” Okay, I don’t know
who is this between Andisiwe and Nomfundo.
“Who am I speaking to?” I ask, I am too
exhausted for the guessing game.
“Yhoo, sorry. It is Andisiwe.” She tells me, “Look,
it is important to reach him. Is he home?” she
asks.
“No, he must have left 20 minutes ago. He and
Mlo have a meeting somewhere.” I tell her.
“God! Do you know which burner phone he took?
I cannot play guessing now there is no time.”
Burner phone? Why would he use a burner
phone?
“Burner phone? Why would he use that?” I ask.
“Oh God! He hasn’t told you? Jesus, kanti unjani
uSokhaya? Do you have Nakhane’s numbers?
She will know.” She says.
“Nakhane? I will call her.” I say.
“Tell her they are about to walk into a trap.” She
says.
“Cool.”I say and end the call then call the two-
faced bitch.
“Mam’uNdaba.” She answers.
“Tell your men they are about to walk into a
trap.” I say.
“Trap? Baby?” she must not try and play me.
“Drop the act, Andisiwe called.” I say.
“Shit! Babe, he was …”
I cut her, “I don’t care. Just stop them.” I end the
call and put the phone on silence once I have
sent a text to Andisiwe.
I don’t know why I even bother with Sokhaya,
with him it is one step forward then ten steps
backward. He actually made me believe that he
was honest with me, we lay all our cards in the
table only a month back.
When those men came to shoot here he told
me that it was over the farm business, there
was a fight over customers. I believed it.
I mean I have seen things happen in the
construction business, certain people dying in
unexplainable ways, people getting
assassinated over tenders so I believed this.
And Nakhane? Isn’t she my friend? She didn’t
even say anything by mistake.
None of them trust me.
Well, I will try and keep myself out of their circle.
I take my phone and dial Lolo, I need to laugh.
“Nontle, hey.” She answers like she has been
waiting for my call.
“Babe, how are you?” I ask.
“I am fine. You sound down.” She says and
tears fall off.
“Have you ever felt like you don’t belong
somewhere?”
“Your husband’s family?” she asks, I had to tell
Lolo I am married and it was arranged, she isn’t
aware of the full details though. She thinks it
was my late grandfather’s dying wish that I
decided to finally honour.
“Not just the family, the whole community.
These people will never accept me, they don’t
trust me. Him and his friends, even the friends I
thought I have made so far.” I tell her.
“Come home.” She says.
“I can’t.” I wish I could, I wish I could just pack
my bags and leave but I can’t. The reality is if
Sokhaya and I cannot fall in love and make this
work then we are going to live the rest of our
lives as complete strangers who just have to
exist in each other’s lives.
“Why? Surely if this does not work you can
come back.” How I wish it was that simple.
“I promised to give it a year, it hasn’t even been
six months.” I tell her, “Come on Lolo fill me in,
what has been happening?” I say.
“You will need to add everyone else to the call, a
loot has been happening.” She says.
“Well say no more.”
Forced Love

Insert Thirteen

A knock at the door disturbs me and I sit up,

“Hold on guys, come in!” I call to the door and
Xolani, one of the guards, comes in.
“Mah, you need to come out. There is someone
here for bhuti.” He says.
“Who is that now? I am tired Xolani.” I tell him, I
was hoping it was Mandla, I am hungry.
“Ma please come.” And he bolts out, mxm! I
seem to have managed to scare Xolani, if he
doesn’t stutter around me he runs off, it is both
hilarious and annoying.
“Guys, I have to go. I love you.” I end the call and
get off the bed.
There is a boy who must be 16 if I am not
mistaken with a small duffle bag at hand
standing in the middle of the yard.
“Hi.” I say and he nods, “I am Soyama, the lady
of the house. You are?” Tamkhulu is off again
to whatever thing he is busy with again and
Sokhaya is out so I am very sceptical.
“I am Phumlani, Sokhaya’s son.” I become
lightheaded instantly. He said son?
Kanti how many secrets does this man have?
“Okay, come.” Xolani looks at me shocked.
“Ma, shouldn’t we wait for bhuti?” he asks.
“Wait where? In the cold? Sugula Xolani.” I say,
“Call Mandla and tell him I am planning to eat
tonight so he better hurry.” I say and lead the
way.
We are inside the house and Phumlani is
looking around, “Where are you from?” I finally
ask.
“Cofimvaba.” He says and I nod.
“Are you hungry? I sent Mandla to buy me food
but I swear he got there and was asked to kill
the chickens and fry them.” I say and he
chuckles a bit. “I will make you bread.” I say.
“Thank you.” At least he has manners, I walk to
the kitchen and put on the kettle firstly.
“How old are you Phumlani?” I ask.
“17 years.” I’m …. I’m … I’m nine years older than
him? One day a person my age will walk in that
gate and they will be my stepchild, I knew
marrying an old man was going to be an issue.
“Phew! You are old.” I hear myself say.
Mandla arrives with the food and tries to
interrogate Phumlani but I send him out telling
him if he calls anyone before I speak to
Sokhaya I will actually deal with his mendling
ass. He is not happy with that, I don’t care.
A car pulls up outside and I jump and run out.
“I can explain.” He says.
“Your son is here.” I say and he looks at me
confused, “He is having dinner inside.” I say.
“Someone said they are my son and you let
them inside the house?” he looks angry at me.
“Ungalinge undinyusele impumlo mna, tshini.” I
say and turn around, the nerve!
He follows me inside and Phumlani is putting
away the plate he used when we walk in. They
stare at each other, “Who are you?” Sokhaya
asks.
“Your son.” Phumlani says folding his arms and
stare back.
“I will go like down, your food is on the
microwave.” I tell Sokhaya.
“No, stay.” He says pulling a chair.
A minute has passed.
They are staring at each other, either one not
backing down.
“Your mother told you your father is here?”
Sokhaya asks.
“Well she cannot do that from the grave.” He
says taking out something from his pockets,
“She left this instead.” He pushes a picture
towards him. It is a picture of him, about
Phumlani’s age, at the back wriiten, ‘You’ve
always wanted to know your father, this is him.’
And details of where to find him at the back. He
looks at it.
“Tell me, who was your mother?” He does not
know who he was sleeping with at that age?
God!
“Nosizwe from Cofimvaba.” He says.
And I think it dawns to him.

“I didn’t know about him.” This hut is too small

for both us.
“What did I say? Can you move?” I ask.
“Soyama you are wearing the bear again.” Also
why is he calling my onsie a bear? He must not
annoy.
“Well, get used to this bear. Yiqhele because it
is here to stay.” I say.
“I was going to tell you.” He says.
“Oh? I thought you didn’t know about him.” I say.
“Not about him, Nosizwe never told me. But
about our side business.” He says.
“Oh that? Don’t tell me your business, I am not
your wife like that, go tell Nandipha.” I say,
“Speaking of which tell her we have a stepson.”
I say throwing a pillow his way.
“Na … ? Soyama what must I do with these?” he
asks.
“You are sleeping on the floor taka Phumlani, I
don’t want you in my bed.” I tell him, “When you
are done standing there, switch off the lights. I
want to sleep. I have an early morning.” I say.

Nakhane looks my way but says nothing.

She can’t. We are amongst other women, part
of wife duties. When there is umsebenzi all the
young wives in the village go and help out,
manual labour just for getting married. Phew!
“Soyama, we have to serve tea.” No we don’t! I
take the tray and she carries the teapot,
“Chomie please let me explain.” She says.
“I am not interested Nakhane.” I hiss.
“He was supposed to tell you everything, it was
his place not mine. And I had given him an
ultimatum, he said he will after this deal.” Now
we are standing outside the house we are
supposed to be serving tea in.
“I have bigger issues than your secrets Nakhane,
Sokhaya’s son arrived last night.” I say walking
in.
“Sokhaya has a son?” she hisses in my ear as
we start serving tea.
“Kanene whose wife are you?” an old woman
asks.
“Ngumakoti wakwa Ndaba, Soyama what are
you saying?” Nakhane blantly dismisses the old
woman.
“You are married to Moses’ grandson?” the old
woman refuses to give up.
“Yes.” I nod walking away, “Yes. He is 17, he
arrived last night. His mother is late.” I say as
we continue with the serving.
“Dr, how are the kids and husband?” another
woman asks Nakhane. She hates serving tea
because of this.
“Everyone is fine, Madlamini. Soyama, what will
you do?” she asks as we quickly move away
from the woman before she asks more
questions, “A 17 years old? Yhoo! God must
never test me, ever. How are you supposed to
mother the child?” she asks.
“Mother? Me? I am supposed to? Nandipha will
do that.” I tell her.
Finally we are done!
We follow each other.
“Don’t annoy me Soyama, come.” We put the
things in the kitchen then she pulls me to the
far end of the yard. “After everything you have
done to make this marriage work? You are
going to give up just like that? Because of one
thing?” she asks.
“You all kept me in the dark Nakhane, I am not
forcing things.” I say.
She sighs, “Soyama, this isn’t like the farm. This
is way bigger than that. Look, at first after the
shooting at your place the fear was you would
use this to blackmail Sokhaya and the family.”
Damn right I would have. “Then after the lie he
told you, and you guys getting close. Mlo and I
getting close to you, we were scared you will
hear the whole truth and run off.” She says.
“Do I look like someone who has the option to
run off? I ask.
“He is scared Soyama, he is scared to lose you.”
She says looking at the kraal, that is where Mlo
and Sokhaya are with other men of the village.
“Sokhaya does not care about losing me.” I say.
“You really haven’t realised the odds have
changed? You really see no change in
Sokhaya?” she asks and I sigh, I see it. That is
what is scaring me, it scares me to the core.
“I don’t know what I want Nakhane, what will
change? His sisters hate me, my brother, my
brother did what he did. How are we supposed
to be in love?” I ask.
“You cannot have all the answers Soyama. Go
with the flow.” She says and I laugh quietly,
tears falling off.
“That is the thing, I don’t know how to go with
the flow. All my life I have been in control, in
control of everything. I am a fixer Nakhane, and
ever since I got here I’ve been out of control. My
feelings are the only thing I’ve been in control
of.” I say.
“I know. I know.” She says holding my hands.
“Don’t ruin your make-up, you know those fools
are watching.” She says and I chuckle. How she
dislikes people she grew up with so much is
beside me.
“Waterproof.” I say and she laughs.
“Of course it is.” She says.
“Nakhane can you please borrow me my wife?”
where did he come from?
“Be fast, I need a friend there.” She says
pointing at where we were busy cooking earlier
on.
“Are you okay?” he asks and I nod wiping tears,
“You are crying Soyama, did I hurt you that bad?
It wasn’t my intention.” He says.
“I know, you wanted to protect yourself. I get it. I
am super emotional these days but I will be
okay.” I tell him.
“Come, lets go. I will tell you everything.” He
says.
“I can’t. We are still busy now, besides I must
start taking these things serious now. We have
a son.” I say and he smiles.
“Okay but we have to talk tonight, you have to
listen to me and hear me out.” He says.
“Deal. Have you called family?” I ask.
“I will, once we receive the DNA tests. That is
where we went this morning.” He says and I nod,
he’d be stupid to just accept a child he is not
certain about and Sokhaya is not a fool.
“Let me go back to the others.” I tell him.
“Fine.” He says, “Also, umhle mkam.” He says
before walking away. Now I am a blushing
mess.
Forced Love

Insert Fifteen

He stops the car and I look at him, “We left a

child alone the whole day.” I remind him.
“Phumlani is 17, he can manage alone.” He says,
tjooh! He must ask me where unattended boys
end up, it is never a good idea not to parent.
“And I have a lot to explain to you. Allow me.”
He says.
“I think the timing and place sucks, but go
ahead.” I say.
“You know we run a farm, the farm supplies a
lot of supermarkets with vegetables, we sell
livestock too. But with the economy, at some
point things got very hard, very bad we almost
lost everything.” I nod, “That was when I got into
gun smuggling. Mlo and I had to do something
to save the farm that our grandparents worked
hard to build, so we sell guns.” He says.
“Guns? You supply countries at war with guns?
Sokhaya?! Do you know what you are doing?
How many people die from this?” I am shocked.
Children die in war, killed by terrorists that buy
guns illegally and he is giving them the
ammunition to kill all those women and children?
“I don’t ask my clients why they need guns, I get
them guns. And even if I don’t someone else
will.” He says.
“Then let them. People die Sokhaya, they die.” I
say.
“You say it like I kill them, I don’t.” he says.
“Doesn’t mean you don’t play a role. Does the
family know?” what am I asking? Of course they
do, they are killers.
“They found out two years ago. Tamkhulu
caught me and well he told everyone, they made
a big deal then made peace with it.” He says.
“Tjooh.” I hold my forehead and look out the
window.

I put the dishes in a dishwasher and sigh, this

week has passed in a dazed, I was just not sure
whether I am coming or going, a mess to say
the least. Sokhaya is a killer. And then there is a
bug I seem to have caught, an annoying bug too.
“Soyama.” I look up and he sighs, “Phumlani
and I are going to the doctor for the results. Do
you want to come along, maybe you can get
something for this stomach issue you have.” He
says.
“I’m okay, I woke up feeling a lot better.” I lie, I
just vomited a while ago. He looks at me like he
doesn’t trust what I am saying.
“Do you need anything in town?” he asks.
“Buy beef, we’ve run out.” I say, “Have you called
Tamkhulu about Phumlani?” I ask.
“I will today, I wanted to be sure.” He says.
“Okay. Good luck then.” I tell him. He walks
towards me and kisses my forehead, I just
brush his upper arm.
“I hope we can go back to the last few weeks.”
He says.
“I do too.” I tell him and honestly I do too. What
we were doing was untagged but we were
happy, I can say that. We were on sync and I
actually looked forward to our coffee evenings,
just sitting with him having coffee and just
chatting. But I don’t know how to now, how
does one go back to that after what he relieved?
“I’ll see you.” He says and walk out. I sigh and
take out my phone from my pocket and dial
Si’Nomandiya, she said she’ll be there as my
advisor then she should.
“Soyama, hello.” By the way she never called to
apologise but I will let it slide.
“Hello sisi how are you?” I hope she won’t be
rude, I need someone to advise me now, maybe
she will tell me to go home.
“I am good and you?” she asks.
“I am well, well sort of. Sisi Sokhaya told me
what is going on, his side business.” The line
goes silent for a moment.
“And you are terrified?” she asks.
“Yes. I don’t know how to feel.” He says.
“You knew he is a murderer when you came to
the family, I mean you knew we were capable of
that because we threatened your brother. What
is the difference now?” she asks.
“He is my husband, he …. It is not the same as it
was when I came here.” I say going to sit down.
“You have fallen in love with my brother?” she
asks.
“I see him more than just my hostage husband,
we have grown close.” I explain.
“Then Soyama decide what this means for you
two, it is either you go back to being the
hostage bride or you accept this part of his life
and you two continue with whatever it is you are
doing.” She says.
“I was hoping you’d be more specific, like tell
me what to do.” She laughs.
“Mntaka Dlomo! Are you a zombie? When you
two changed the rules you didn’t tell me, now
you are involving me? Andizingeni. Tell me,
what happened to his relationship with
Nandipha?” I didn’t call her to be a sore on my
ass.
“I don’t know.” I say.
“Sunyaba apha Soyama, end this triangle.
However you came to this family, you are family
now, and we are on your side. When you have
had enough call a family meeting and we will
end this nonsense.” She says.
“For real?” I am shocked.
“Yes. Ungumfazi wethu, Soyama.” She says.
“Then if I cannot solve it on my own then I will
hit you up. Also there is another issue, not bad
news though.” I say.
“Oh? What is it?” she asks.
“You are about to be an aunt.” I say.
“You are pregnant?” what? No!
“No! No! It is not me. A 17 years old boy arrived,
claims to be his son. They went to get the DNA
results but I think it is just a formality, that boy
is his son.” I say.
Doesn’t she start ululating? I have to move the
phone from my ear before I lose my hearing. “I
am coming. I will call my nanny, I am coming.”
Haibo!
“Sisi, please wait for him to call.” I say.
“For what? Heh! Soyama I am leaving work in 30
minutes and I am coming.” Jesus.
“Okay but please don’t tell anyone else, lets let
him break the news.” I say.
“Okay, I can do that. Bye ntombi.” And she does
not wait for me, the caller, to reply. Now I have
to make a full meal, and cook more because
who say she will not call her sisters? I swear
Sokhaya is going to hate me for this.
Forced Love

Insert Sixteen

They walk in, laughing. With more plastics of

food than I thought.
“Mkam.” Sokhaya hugs me tighter than he
should, “He is my son.” Well he could’ve paid
me to tell him that.
“I knew that. Phumlani, how do you feel?” I ask
looking at the beaming Phumlani who is
unpacking the stuff they bought, there is cake.
“Relieved.” I am glad he is. “So I call you what?
Sisi? Mama? Aunty?”
“Whatever feels right.” I reply but I am 26 lord,
26! I cannot have a person 9 years younger than
me call me mama.
“Then I will call you sisi.” He says and I smile,
that’s a relief! “We got cake and some fruits.”
He says.
“Have you called Tamkhulu?” I ask Sokhaya.
“Can I go to my room? I need to call my mom’s
sister.” He says and we both nod.
“I called everyone on the way but I get the
feeling sisi knew, in fact she is on her way.” He
says.
“Well, we spoke earlier. I kind of let it slip.” I say.
“I knew it was you. Let me help you cook.” He
say.
“Lets have coffee first, I made it the last time.”
He looks at me and smiles, I sit on the counter
while he goes and put on the table.
Sokhaya and I started having coffee together
after that incident, we would speak about
random stuff and that is how it moved from sex
to something, where emotions got involved. It
became a routine, unless he is busy. Coffee
afternoons/evenings became our thing, and I
love them, I never thought I would enjoy having
coffee this much.
“We got muffins, bran for you.” He says.
“I want chocolate ones.” He looks at me and
shake his head. “What?” I ask.
“Nothing. I’ll give you chocolate and have bran
muffin.” He says. “How is your stomach?” he
asks.
“I am less nausea now, I’ve been okay
throughout the day.” I say.
“Maybe it was just a passing bug.” He says.
Finally he is done and puts everything in front of
me, “Lets speak then Mkam.” He says looking
at me. I first bite the muffin and smile, exactly
my heart’s desire! Mmmmhhhh, I take another
one and the smile keeps getting wider.
“Mmmmhhh, I hope the cake is chocolate, this
is heaven.” I say.
“You are enjoying it.” He says, “I will be sure to
buy you more chocolate muffins.” He promises
and I smile.
“I thought about it, your side gig, and I can live
with it. It is a part of who you are, not a
definition of you or all of you. It is a part I do not
really like but there are so many I like and I will
focus on those.” I say.
“Really? Thank you.” He says immediately.
“Don’t thank me yet, there are a few things I
want in turn.” He nods rapidly, “You and Mlo
need to find a way to separate the two, move
this business from the farm. You don’t want to
lose your family’s legacy when this shit gets
bad.” I say.
“We will.” He promises.
“Good. Your affair, Sokhaya I cannot compete
with your years. If we are to give this marriage a
chance then I will not be in competition with
anyone.” I say.
“Nandipha and I ended a month back, it proved
to be hard to keep two women happy.” He says
and I nod, “I want us to start on a clean slate,
starting with your parents.”
“Nope. I want nothing to do with that mess.” I
say getting up.
“Haibo, coffee evening is over like that?” he
asks getting up too, “Okay, we don’t have to talk
about your family now.” Good.

And they’ve arrived!

Everyone is here, laughing, cooking. Sokhaya
had to save Phumlani from hundreds of
questions from everyone, his aunts want to
know everything. Even the colour of the
underwear he is wearing now. It is very funny.
“Soyama where are the spices?” Nomakrestu
asks, they are in charge of cooking and I am
just gracing them with my beautiful presence.
“Top shelf in the grocer cupboard.” I reply. I am
chatting with Nakhane online and she is busy
dissing them.
“I don’t understand why they had to be moved,
they were actually okay right where they were.”
She says and I just roll my eyes.
“I will go find Sokhaya and Phumlani.” I say
getting up and walk out. I am not in the mood
for them and their nonsense, if they keep
annoying me I might just ask that their brother
buys a house in town and move there.
I find him leaning against a car watching
Phumlani in the kraal, “He looks cute, doesn’t
he?” I ask and he smiles.
“I don’t know where to begin to father him, this
is so confusing.” He says and I laugh lightly.
“You will figure something out. It looks like he
loves animals like you do.” I say.
“They are turning your kitchen upside down?” he
asks and I sigh, I wonder when they are leaving.
“They should be out of here in two days. I am
sure Nomakrestu’s husband will call before she
even has her third dream tonight.”
“They should hurry. I am not in the mood to deal
with their underhanded comments. Your sister
is complaining over spices.” I tell him and he
laughs, “Don’t laugh TakaPhumlani.” I say.
“Taka Phumlani? Don’t start Soyama.” He says
and I laugh.
“I am not. I just called you what you are, you are
Taka Phumlani after all.” I say.
“With you one never knows. Lets go, its cold
here, that show of yours is playing right?” he
asks.
“Yes. Phumlani!! Don’t stay long, its cold!!” I yell
following behind him.
His sisters are chatting and laughing in the
kitchen when we walk in, “Go, I will go get us
snacks.” He says.
“Oh we’ve run out. Your sister ate them.” The
moment Nomakrestu got here she started
eating the snacks we had in the kitchen.
“Even my chocolates?” Sokhaya has a sweet
tooth, he always keeps chocolates everywhere,
“Mxm. She is annoying.” He says sitting next to
me.
I switch on the television and lean on him, he
puts his arm around me.
They walk in, “The food is ready.” Asa says.
“We will eat here.” Sokhaya replies.
“I want to watch news.” Nomakrestu says
sitting next to me and taking the remote.
“We don’t watch news here.” Sokhaya tells her,
everyone else goes silent and I keep minding
my business.
“Sisi here is your food. Bhuti, here is your food.”
Asa says serving us our food, feels good to be
served. I sit up straight, Phumlani walks in.
“Your food is in the kitchen Phumlani.”
“Yheee Soyama, you look a bit happy now.”
Si’Nomandiya says.
“I am.” I reply looking at Sokhaya who smiles
back at me.
“I am glad yazi, you remember when she first
came here? Yhoo, Makazi thought we were
about to kill her.” Nomfundo says, well they
were.
“No need to bring all that up, we are okay now,
right Bhuti?” Andisiwe says.
“Yes.” Sokhaya replies.
They go on to make small chats with Phumlani,
asking him about his life and what he likes.
They are really excited about him, they should
be he looks really like a very good boy.
Forced Love

Insert Seventeen
The door opens and Si’Nomandiya walks in, “I
thought I was the only ghost in this yard.” She
says.
“I thought I should make breakfast, you guys
cooked last night.” I tell her.
“I will just have coffee, I am ready to go home.”
She tells me, “But I am glad that you are awake
so we can talk.” She says.
“Oh? Is there any problem?” I ask sitting down
and she looks at me for a long minute.
“I am glad you are settling well into this new
role, you know the plan was not to mistreat you
or make you pay for your brother’s sins.” She
says, well they could have fooled me. “I am sure
you can tell how hot-headed everyone here can
be, they would have killed your brother with or
without my consent. I didn’t want that, I didn’t
want a child’s blood on my hands, on my
conscience. When Tamkhulu told me of a way
to stop this I took it. And besides we have been
bugging Sokhaya to get a wife but he wouldn’t.”
she says chuckling.
“Hitting two birds with one stone.” I say and she
nods.
“Yes. We love family here, even Nomakrestu
does, you being Sokhaya’s wife means your
brother is safe from any of us. But also I want
this marriage to work, I don’t want my brother or
you to spend the rest of your lives miserable.”
She tells me.
“We won’t.” I assure her.
“Your call the other day assured me of that, I
don’t doubt it now. You guys have already
started fighting like a real couple.” We both
laugh.
“And you have started your family. You have a
son now.” We do, don’t we? “So there is
somewhere I want us to go. Go wear ixakatho
so we can go before they wake up.” She tells
me and I nod.
Sokhaya is still asleep, in deep sleep and I put
on ixakatho then go find Si’Nomandiya, she tells
me we will walk to where we are going.
Soon we arrive, at the grave yard and she leads
the way to four graves that are secluded from
all the other ones.
“This is where my parents and grandmother are
buried, my son too.” My breath hitches at the
mention of her son. She kneels and asks me to
do the same, “Mama, I brought someone today.
Your son’s wife, a very beautiful wife.” She says
looking at me and I smile. “And I gave her that
name you loved so much, Soyama. Bazali bam, I
want you to protect her, protect this beautiful
girl. She came here through tragedy, Samkelo’s
death, but nonetheless mama she is the woman
who makes your son happy so I ask of you to
please protect and love her. Protect her the
same way you protect us. And Samkelo,
Samkelo sithandwa sam I hope you have
welcomed her presence in our lives, I hope you
understand why things had to be this way.” Her
voice cracks and I have to hold her hand, “I am
here today to ask that you treat Soyama as your
child, love her as your own, and please keep her
safe for us. Camagu.” She says and we stand
up.
“That … that was amazing.” I let her know.
“I hope that this shows you we have welcomed
you. You are a part of this family now.” I know, I
know that now.

Nomfundo and Andisiwe are making breakfast

when we walk into the kitchen.
“Morning.” I say.
“Hey, where did you two go?” Nomfundo asks.
“The graveyard.” Their big sister tells them and
they nod knowingly. “It was time. Ma-Ands
please make me tea, I am so cold.” She says.
“Need help with something?” I ask them putting
ixakatho on a chair and rolling up the sleeves of
my top.
“You can cut the bread, we are almost done
here.” Andisiwe tells me, “Did anyone call
Tamkhulu?” Andisiwe asks.
“Sokhaya did, he called all of you yesterday but
he says he will come back as soon as he can.” I
tell them.
“Kanti where does Tamkhulu disappear to?”
Si’Nomandiya asks, well she can ask that again.
“Clearly he is seeing someone. UTamkhulu
uyajola.” Asanda says walking in, “Morning my
darlings.” She greets.
“What? No. He is 89 Asanda.” Nomfundo
quickly dismisses the idea but I don’t, it is highly
likely.
“And he looks like he is in his late 60s.
Tamkhulu is not where he claims to be at,
where is he?” Asanda is really right for choosing
journalism, she surely can investigate.
“You could be onto something, thanks nana.”
Si’Nomandiya says taking tea from Asanda.
“How he is behaving lately is really telling. In the
past year he has been disappearing on us,
always visiting an old friend. Asanda is right.”
Now we are all looking at her.
“Do we ask him?” I ask.
“Ask what? Yhoo! Never.” Andisiwe is the first
coward and they all follow suit, tell me what a
bad idea it is to confront an old man over his
dating life, okay they are right. But why is he
hiding it? His wife has been long dead, the
children he is raising are all grown. Surely they
wouldn’t mind him dating, right?
“So you mind him dating?” I ask them.
“No.” they say at the same time.
“We have our own business to mind please.”
Nomfundo says.
Then Tamkhulu has nothing to fear.
Forced Love

Insert Eighteen

As Sokhaya predicted Nomakrestu is indeed the

first one to leave, her husband couldn’t find his
shirt. I’d kill Sokhaya. What kind of an adult who
cannot find his own clothes?
Si’Nomandiya had to drive back too, she has
work so I am left with the young three, the
sweethearts. They don’t need to be served, they
talk a lot, they are very useful around the house,
and they are great company. Sokhaya and his
son leaves us to go the farm so we are left
alone.
Asanda takes the opportunity to have us
dancing for some TikTok challenge. She is the
last born, we cannot refuse her of anything. In
these past months I have come to realise that
no one in this family says no to Asanda, she
always gets what she wants.
And what she wants now is a TikTok video, well
we are dancing our butts off for it too.
Nomfundo has two left feet and keeps bumping
on us and Andisiwe is a dancer, god she can
move! And as for me? I try. The tiktoker tries
too, at least she is not bumping into us like her
sister. But it is funny, I am laughing my lungs
out.
“I need to sit.” The floor is suddenly spinning
under my feet.
“Sisi, should we bring water?” I nod a few times,
I swear inyongo will kill me, I need to find
something to help myself before I die.
Asanda comes back with water and I gulp it
down, now that is better. “How long has this
been happening?” Nomfundo asks sitting next
to me.
“A few times, I need to go see a doctor.” I tell
them.
“You do. Lets stop now, you have enough right
Asanda?” Andisiwe asks.
“Yes.” She replies.

These past few weeks have been nothing but

peaceful, Tamkhulu came and left. He told us
he and a group of friends are traveling Europe,
he sends pictures once a week. Phumlani calls
them proof of life. His granddaughters and I are
convinced he is seeing a white lady, he is doing
white people stuff. His grandson and I, we are
both in sync lately.
And I have managed to set up the damn
foundation to help the women in the village! Mlo
and Sokhaya gave us an unused building in the
farm that Phumlani painted for us, he did a
pretty good job that his father actually said
should he fail academically he might consider
being a professional painter. They get along
well, much better than I expected too.
“Okay that is it for today.” I say sitting down,
standing on my feet for long is very tiring lately,
not that I am never tired. They pack up their
stuff getting up too.
A lady in her 40s stops at my desk as I take a
much needed breather, “Today was great, one
would swear you studied teaching Soyama.” I
smile at the compliment as she walks away.
They still have not fully accepted me so for one
of them to say that is amazing. None of them
ever seems to pay me any mind outside of this
room, I don’t know what it is that I ever done to
them but whatever it is they have against me it
is big.
“Get up!” And my dear hurricane walks in,
Nakhane is always on a high, I don’t know how
her family deals with her. sometimes I pity Mlo.
“Where are we going?” I am already on my feet
though before she drags me out of this room
like the mad woman she is.
“You know I don’t know why it took me so long
to see, I mean I am a doctor after all.” And as
always I am not sure what she is talking about, I
deem myself a highly intelligent woman but
when it comes to Nakhane I never know what
she is thinking. “Then it hit me, at midnight.”
And her mind never stops working.
We get into her car, I was hoping I’d see my
handsome husband before I leave the farm but
well, Nakhane is here. “What does Mlo say
about your overthinking?”
She smiles looking at me then starts the car,
“Oh that one, he gives me sex, it keeps
preoccupied.” Poor man, his back must hurt,
she is always thinking. “Anyway, as I was saying,
it hit me at midnight. You are pregnant!”
I choke on my saliva as she hums sweetly,
proud of her genius discovery. What is she
talking about? I am on the pill, she knows this
too. “Sorry to disappoint your genius ass I am
on the pill. Find another diagnosis.” I say with a
huge smile of my own. I remember when I met
her mother for the first time, she said we are
like twins. Her mom has been my mom the past
few months, an amazing woman.
“Sorry sis, the genius isn’t wrong. Pills are not
100% effective, no form of contraceptive is.”
And I am only hearing this now? No doctor ever
told me this. The only reason I used a condom
before it was so I protect myself from illnesses
not from pregnancy. I always believed the pills
are 100% effective. “But, worry not. We will not
wonder for long. I got you pregnancy tests, ten
of them. I am amazing aren’t I?” Yes very.
All the way I am trying to think of when I may
have fallen pregnant, I no longer doubt it, I mean
all of a sudden everything makes sense. The
vomiting, that was morning sickness, the
dizziness, the tiredness, all of it makes sense. I
mean I have a newfound love for chocolate
lately, I eat a lot too. I stopped eating chicken,
and coffee smells like death, literally like dead
bodies, a lot makes sense now. I don’t recall a
time where we used a condom or a time when
that fool actually pulled out, why did I let him
nut inside of me? And Nakhane is in this great
mood, Sokhaya and I are about to have a child
and she is team Soyama and Sokhaya. A lot.

-------------
Hey boLoves. I am sorry for the silence, things
have been hectic but to make up for it I will post
an insert everyday this week.
Forced Love

Insert Nineteen

Her helper is feeding her 14 months old

daughter when we walk in, we greet and hurry to
the privacy of her bedroom. Her older children
are at school.
“Here.” I always knew there is something wrong
with Nakhane but today she proves it. Ten tests?
“Did you take all the tests from the day?” I ask
in shock and she laughs.
“I bought them, these are few. When I took the
tests the first, there was twenty of them.” Wow!
I take three shaking my head and walk to the
ensuite bathroom. When I am nervous I always
want to pee a lot so I have loads of that for the
tests. Few minutes later I exit the bathroom and
join her in the bedroom. She is so chilled, busy
on her cell phone while I am nervously watching
the damn things. Soon they all have two lines,
not very helpful, how am I to know how far I am?
“Take this one, it tells the weeks.” She has this ‘I
told you so.’ smug on her face as I walk to the
bathroom again, and yes, I have loads of pee. I’d
feed the village with it.
Now we wait for the weeks to appear so we can
start celebrating. And there it is, 23 weeks!
Nakhane looks at me and laughs, “Kanti how
long have you two been fucking each other?”
she is really happy about this. “Half the year? I
mean this is around the time of the shooting.”
And her genius mind never forgets anything,
she keeps them in shelves in there.
“That is when we started fucking, can’t believe I
was distressed and he was impregnating me.”
But I am happy. I don’t want to lie, I am excited.
“Well, good job Sokhaya. I might buy him a
bells.” Nakhane says hugging me, “I am so
excited.” She says.
“It feels so surreal, Nakhane I am pregnant.”
And I want the baby, I want to carry the child for
Sokhaya. I want us to have this child. I want to
scream from excitement.
“Let me take you to him.” She says getting up.
“Nope, I am telling him tonight. Nakhane, I am
going to be a mom.” Suddenly I am tearing up
and she hugs me, and rubs my back while I sob
then it hit me. I don’t have much time. “It says
23 weeks?” she smiles.
“Yes, almost six months.” But I am not showing.
“Girl I swear I want your body, at this time I was
a ballon.” She says.
“What if the child is suffocating then? Nakhane
there can’t be enough room in my flat
stomach.” And she laughs, she falls back on the
bed and has a really good laugh. She is laughing,
at least that is not a bad thing.
When she is satisfied she sits up and holds her
chest then laughs a bit again, “Phew, in my time
as a doctor I have been asked a lot of things but
not this. Girl!” and there she goes again! “The
baby is fine, very fine. If there were any issues
you would have known.” She assures me
holding my hands. “I will text you a number of
the Gynecologist I use, she is the best.” She
says taking her cell, “Call her and set up an
appointment.” She says.

Throughout dinner I am humming and singing

softly. Phumlani and his dad ask me numerous
times what is going on but I am holding it close
to my chest, well until Sokhaya and I retreat to
our hut. I hope for a girl, I can imagine a little
cute thing following Phumlani around, I can see
Phumlani being her protector, a big brother she
will have wrapped around her fingers, but then a
boy would be great too. He’d have someone to
teach soccer, play video games with. And well,
whatever child it will be it will have Sokhaya
wrapped around its little fingers. Phumlani has
him on the palm of his hands, he is that dad. I
can’t believe a whole crime boss is controlled
by a teenage boy but he is. Now imagine
another child, my poor husband will be grey
before forty, at least I’ll still love him.
“If I didn’t know better I’d say you have a new
boyfriend.” He says taking off his boots as I
hum the same song I’ve been humming all
dinner whilst opening the blankets.
“Who says I don’t. The guys at the farm are
charmers.” I tease and he laughs.
“They wouldn’t dare, your husband is a killer.”
Yhea, that is true. I sit behind him and take out
the pregnancy tests from the pockets of my
skirt and put them on his lap.
“Umm.” He turns to look at me still holding all
four of them, “Soyama what is this?” I cannot
read his expression.
“What do you think?” suddenly my walls clam
up.
“You are not playing games right? Nakhane
didn’t steal tests from her patients, right?”
Is he that dumb, “Nakhane wouldn’t do that.”
“She has done it before.” Huh? “We are going to
have a baby?” he asks.
“Yes Sokhaya.” He is boring me to death,
shouldn’t he be jumping up and down, calling
me all the best names in the world? Suddenly I
am suffocating, he is holding me too tight. My
poor baby, we are dying tonight.
“I am going to be a father.” What does he mean,
he is already a father, such an old fool.
“Yep, again.” I say hugging him back.
“We are going to be parents Soyama.” Now he
sounds excited.
“Not if you continue suffocating me.” I say and
he lets go immediately, he is crying. My
handsome fool.
“But, your stomach.” He looks confused.
“Nakhane says it happens, but I am seeing a
Gynecologist tomorrow.” I tell him.
“I am coming.” I am glad he is this excited for
this baby. He hugs me again, not too tight this
time.
Nakhane and I need to talk about what he said.

Today I was woken up by breakfast in bed, he

prepared a bath for me and rubs my feet while I
lotion my body and texting Nakhane, her and I
will have lunch so she can tell me what in the
hell was she thinking with the pregnancy tests?
“Do you think it is okay for you to continue
working?” he suddenly asks.
“We will hear from the doctor, I doubt though.
Move I need to get dressed.” I tell him getting
up from the bed. He watches me get dressed as
if I might disappear. “What is on your mind?” I
finally ask as I tie my head scarf.
“That I am lucky, to think it took tragedy to bring
me such an amazing woman.” He says and I
smile.
“I wish it didn’t have to take that.” And that is
true but also I am very much aware that I may
have never given a man like him a second
glance. On the outside he is too rural, and
maybe that is what made him so different to all
the man I have been with. Sokhaya turned out
to be everything I have been looking for, he just
didn’t come in tuxedos and twang. He came in
overalls, muddy boots, and rough looks.
“Thing is, had it not been for it then you and I
would never be here. Lets be honest, you would
have never given me a second glance and I
would have never have even approached you. A
woman in heels, looking damn expensive and
walking around like she is in a hurry to get
somewhere? Nope.” That is true. Him and I
would have never given each other a chance in
the perfect world.
“Looks can be deceiving.” I whisper and he
nods.
“True, behind all that lay a woman who was
made for me, I am glad you’ve slowed down
though. Sometimes slowing down and living the
present is the best thing one could do for
themselves.” This place never gave me a choice,
I had to slow down, in fact I had to sit still and
for once let life happen.
“Come, we will be late.” I say suddenly realising
just how emotional this whole thing has turned
out to be and he smiles.
“I love you Soyama.” My ears suddenly flush
and tears fall off, I never expected him to ever
say those words to me, not like this anyway.
And now I feel like I am stuck in my best dream
ever.
“You are not just saying this because of the
pregnancy?” I whisper.
“No. I mean it, it just seemed fitting for this
moment.” He tells me. Now I walk to him and
hug him very tight.
“I love you too.” I whisper
Phumlani is cleaning up when we walk into the
kitchen, “I thought you are never waking up
today.” And he doesn’t rate us at all.
“We are awake and we have news.” Is he going
to tell him? Phumlani stops what he is doing
and look us at us expectantly, oh well he can
break the news. “How would you feel about
being a big brother?” he asks as if he has a
choice.
Phumlani shrugs like it is no big deal, “Wouldn’t
know, I haven’t been one.” This conversation is
scarring me. Phumlani just got here so what if
he feels like this baby will take his place?
“Well, you are about to be one.” Sokhaya says
and he stares at us, for a long ass moment I am
not sure I am still breathing. “Well?” Sokhaya
suddenly looks nervous.
“I am still deciding how to feel, I mean I am
seventeen for this.” And then he laughs, fuck!
This child! He hugs me still laughing.
“Never do that, I almost died of panic.” I say as
he goes on to hug his dad.
“No more, I hope they look like me.” He says, he
looks excited.
“We have 3 or so months to go then we will
know.” I let him know then his eyes run straight
to my stomach, “Is the baby fine?” definitely his
father’s son.
“Very fine.” I answer, I turn to look at Sokhaya,
“He can come, then afterward we can have a
meal at some place in town.” I suggest.
“Yes. Go get ready young man.” His dad says.
“Nah, I’m good. Lets hit the road fam.” And he
leaves the dishes on the sink and lead the way.
We look at each other and laugh. Sokhaya’s
sperms made this one for real.

The gel is cold on my stomach but I am too

excited to care, Sokhaya is holding my hand
whilst Phumlani is staring at the screen
impatiently. His excitement kept growing on the
way it makes my heart warm. This child will his
sibling to death, he already does. Something
appears on the screen, we all see it and it has
us captured. “Looks healthy.” The doctor is
saying but we are all focused on the screen. A
little miracle. A sound fills the room and
suddenly I look around, the doctor smiles. “Has
a very strong heartbeat.” She says.
“That .. that is the baby?” Sokhaya is teary as he
asks. The doctor nods. My heart is beating very
fast on my chest, this is perfect.
“A perfect little lady.” The doctor says.
“A girl? I will have a sister? Ma you heard that?”
Then my heart stops for a bit, then beats faster
than before, he said Ma.
“Phumlani.” I whisper but he is completely
unaware of what he just did, he is smiling on the
screen.
“Ma.” He replies still not paying me any mind.
“I love you.” I just say. He turns to me with teary
eyes.
“I know, I love you too.” Life can’t be more
perfect than this, then he looks back at the
screen, “You will have another one after this
right?” And he is Sokhaya’s son, no surprises
there.
“Yes.” His stupid father says and I just look at
the doctor who gives me a knowing smile
We get scans, Phumlani wants his own so we
get him his. Then after we get the next
appointment date we leave the doctor for a
meal, Sokhaya takes us to a place that braais
meat, KwaNgumbela. He has spoken about this
place a lot so I am excited to check it out, I want
to know all the places he likes. In fact, if I had it
my way I’d live inside his skin but sadly I cannot.
Forced Love

Insert Twenty
We spent the whole day in town, shopping for
baby clothes. I don’t know who is more excited
between the father and brother, they were like
kids in a candy store in the shops. “You think
grandpops is home?” Phumlani asks when we
drive inside the yard. He is driving, he says he
will get his licence before the baby is born so he
can drive around with her. seems like he has
always wanted to have a sibling.
“You know your grandpa, he disappears and
appear as he likes.” Sokhaya replies. The car is
his, no one ever uses it when he isn’t around.
Seems like he is back.
“He sure has great timing.” True.
He isn’t alone, there is laughter as we walk
towards the house, and Phumlani is leading the
way. Sokhaya and I look at each other then
Phumlani stops at the door drops the plastic
bags. Sokhaya and I both pick up our pace,
Sokhaya has taken out his gun. Now I know why
he always has this thing on his waist, he will
have to be careful with its safekeeping now. He
has a teenage son and a coming baby, can’t
have any of them getting hold of it.
What on God’s name is this?
“Tamkhulu?” Sokhaya cannot hide the shock in
his voice, and as for me I am not sure whether
to laugh or what?
In the middle of the room is Tamkhulu with an
apron on standing next to a white lady who is
wearing an apron too, clearly they are cooking
together.
“Finally home! Maria and I made dinner.” Maria?
I am holding back laughter as I watch the
situation in front of me. Sokhaya is actually
shocked, I am not sure by the fact that his step-
grandmother is white or the fact that his
grandfather is seeing someone. Phumlani is
open mouthed, the months I have spent with
him tell me he might just say something not so
smart. His mouth and mind never work together.
He turns to me and I brace myself for whatever
he will say, hoping I will not laugh. “Kanti
ooTamkhulu zange bahlukunyezwe
lubandlululo.” And I burst into laughter. What
did I say?
Now I have to savage the situation, “Move nina.”
I say making my way in, “Tamkhulu, welcome
back. And ..” I am not sure what to call her, this
is so awkward.
“You can call me Maria.” She says shaking my
hand.
“Nice to meet you Maria.” I say hoping those
two fools will get out of whatever zone they are
in.
“Nice to meet you Maria.” At least my husband
has collected himself and joined us into the
room, his son is collecting the bags from the
floor and walks in to greet Maria but he is
definitely not over the fact that Maria is white.
“Takmhulu, who is Maria?” we all want to know
but we haven’t asked.
“My girlfriend.” I think Phumlani will faint. I want
to call Asanda so bad, this is the gossip of the
century, “And she will be staying here.” Now I
have to call all of them at once, lord!
“Cohibiting?” That is Phumlani, he has never
known what is the right thing to say, “Aren’t you
like …” I clear my throat and he gets the hint. “I
will take my sister’s stuff to your room Mama.”
And off he goes.
“Sister? Sokhaya don’t tell me another child
popped up, kanti what were you doing all these
years, planting seeds all over Africa?” Tamkhulu
asks.
“Not bringing ubandlululo home, that is for
sure.” Okay, let me end this before it goes any
far.
“I am pregnant Tamkhulu, had you not came
home you would have found the baby walking.”
I joke.
“Or already talking.” And with that he walks out.
Maybe Tamkhulu was right to hide his love life,
this I wasn’t expecting. I was never expecting
the lady to be white nor for Sokhaya to react
like that. “I will speak with him.” Maria looks like
she might burst into tears.
“Congratulations sana lwam, I will speak to your
husband.” Tamkhulu says taking off his apron
and follow behind.
Now I don’t know what else to say to Maria,
“umm, let me go get comfortable then I will join
you.” I say and hurry off, I am not running away
from him but I need to call the sisters before I
faint from so much gossip. Phumlani is next to
the kraal with his father and grandfather so I
have the privacy of my hut to myself. Gossip
time.

“No way!!” Nomfundo is the first one to exclaim.

Asanda and Andisiwe are laughing their asses.
“So Tamkhulu is cohabiting?” Gossip makes
even Nomakrestu nice.
“Yes, it seems so.” I say.
“Madlomo!” Si’Nomandiya exclaims while
laughing.
“Now where is Makhulu?” Andisiwe asks and
don’t they die from laughter.
“In the kitchen, she is making dinner.” I tell them.
“Hawu kodwa Soyama, what kind of a makoti
are you?” and this time I know Nomakrestu is
not saying this in the wrong way so we all laugh.
“Well my pregnant ass needs the rest.” I let it
out as if it is no big deal then there is total
silence.
“You .. sis you are pregnant?” Asanda is the first
one to ask.
“yep. In less than four months you will be
aunts.” I say.
“Whee! Where are my bags! I am coming
home!!” Andisiwe gives me her default answer
to everything. Bad news? She is coming home.
Good news? She is coming home. Bad day? You
better she is coming home.
“We have packing to do, see you in a few
Soyama.” And off they go leaving me with my
video call.
I sit up just as the door opens and Nakhane
walks in looking stunned, “Soyama, there is a
white lady in your kitchen. Miriam or Maria.” She
says as if she has seen a ghost.
“Tamkhulu’s girlfriend. Sit, I forgot about our
meeting.” She rushes to my side
“Pregnancy brains. You said she is the old
man’s woman? Weh, waze wenza umlando
Madiba!” and she claps. “Come lets join her.”
she says bringing me to my feet.
“Before that tell me, fake pregnancy?” doesn’t
she laugh, so she did it. “Why?” I ask.
“Why not?” what does she mean why not? I am
surprised they are still married, clearly Mlo is
her soulmate because he does put up with her
shit.
“Well I made the mistake of giving Mlo my
virginity, he wanted sex over and over again. So
I lied, said I was pregnant and the doctor
recommended we don’t fuck for the baby’s
sake.” I can never! Clap once!
“Because you didn’t want sex?” I ask just to be
sure.
“Yes. Mlo is a beast please, and I was still
scared of sex.” I don’t believe my ears, “Now
come lets go to your white granny.”
And with little choice I follow her to the main
house where Maria is busy making us dinner.
“So Mari-Mari you are Mkhulu’s chic?” now I
want to faint. Who would blame me? I am
pregnant! Kanti how does Nakhane’s mind work.
Poor Maria smiles and nods. “Yhoo the bravery,
you went for a black man?”
“Nakhane make tea.” I think she needs to keep
busy so she stops talking shit.
“Okay. By the way I am Nakhane, your boyfriend
and my late grandfather-in-law were besties.”
She says taking off her blazer. She is staying.

Nakhane left, after giving Maria a few flushes.

“How long have you been married?” Tamkhulu
didn’t tell her? That is good to know.
“A few months, I think five months before I fell
pregnant.” Now that I think of it in a month’s
time Sokhaya and I will have our first
anniversary. Unbelievable! I do not even
remember the date we were actually
pronounced husband and wife. “And you and
Tamkhulu?” I ask.
“We met a year ago.” She says with a fond
smile.
“He told you he has a lot of grandchildren,
right?” I ask just so I am sure she is aware of
what she is getting herself into.
“That he did. I don’t have many children myself,
two daughters and four grandchildren.” That is
a few compared to the mess she is coming to
here.
“Oh well, then welcome to the family. His
granddaughters are on the way, just to give you
heads up. And don’t worry they will not be like
my husband.” I say. I wonder what is wrong with
that fool.
“I am glad. You have one hell of a scary
husband.” I know, he scared me at first glance
too.
Forced Love

Insert Twenty One

Tamkhulu walks in followed by his grandson

and great-grandson.
“Dinner is served, darling.” Maria says as
Sokhaya sits next to me.
“Phumlani get your father’s plate.” I say to
Phumlani who is staring at Maria, I don’t think
he will get used to having a white woman live
with us.
“Umm Maria, I can call you that right?” Sokhaya
starts and I make a silent prayer, please don’t
offend the poor woman!
“Yes.” She is a bit uncomfortable, scared I think.
“I am sorry about my behaviour earlier, I just … I
am not really a fan of your race.” What an
apology! Hayi no I have a husband.
“Your grandfather did mention but I swear I
have no bad intentions.” She says and he nods.
Now I want to know why he dislike white people,
except for their privileged asses with big
entitlement I have nothing against them. And it
can’t be that there has been many white people
here. Unless … the farm?! I look at Sokhaya, his
jaws are rigid, he is not happy about this.
“Ooooh Sangena sangena!!” they have arrived!
My sisters-in-law! Tamkhulu looks at the door
then at me.
“Oh I told them I am pregnant, you know them.”
I say shrugging. Wouldn’t say anything about
telling them about his girlfriend. He does not
get much time to prepare his bae because his
daughters walk in, the youngest at front.
“She is white!” Asanda has drama for days.
“You have a white grandma, aren’t you happy?”
Phumlani asks, what did I do?
Then in, all they come.
They greet staring at her. introductions are
made and then they are staring at her like she is
an alien. “Hayi Madiba uyazenza shame.”
Andisiwe is the first one to say.
“At least she is beautiful.” Si’Nomandiya says.
“Thanks.” Maria smiles at the slightest approval,
this has to be the longest day of her life.
“I cannot believe at your age you are dating.”
Nomfundo goes and I want to laugh so hard.
“You won’t steal the farm right?” Yhoo! Talk
about being direct, Nomakrestu does not like
other humans because what in God’s earth is
this?
“Nomakrestu!” Tamkhulu warns.
“What? We all know how it gets with white
people and the farm.” And Sokhaya gets up
looking annoyed, I was right.
“You will find me in bed.” He says to me.
“That was not necessary.” Andisiwe tells her.
She does not look like she understands how
rude she was, “What? Why? Must we know her
intentions when we are at court? Trying to prove
we were born here? We’ve been there, done
that.” She says looking bored at their politeness.
“No, it’s okay. I am not after the farm.” Well she
wouldn’t have said, “I just love your
grandfather.” She adds.
“That you surely do, I mean you came all the
way to a black community. Apartheid never
taught you oldies a thing.” Phumlani should be
Nomakrestu’s son, I get up too.
“See you in the morning.” I have a husband to
talk to.

I find him lying on the bed awake, he looks like

there is war on his mind. He still has his shoes
on so I sit at the edge and slowly take them off.
“What’s up? Talk to me.” I say.
“No, I’m okay.” He replies but he is not and I
never give up easily.
“Talk to me, Madiba.” I say.
“Tamkhulu loves doing these things, he always
brings us the trouble.” He says, “My father was
murdered for that farm, because he made white
friends who thought they can stage a takeover.”
My breath catches, this is far worse than I
thought. “Then the son of that man took us to
court to prove that his father was defending his
property, his property Soyama? We wasted so
much money in that court case. Now he is
bringing us another white person? Doesn’t he
learn? Ever?” I am done with his shoes so I go
sit next to him.
“Love knows no bounds, if it did you should
have never loved me. My brother killed your
nephew but you do. I should not love this family,
you but I do even though you kidnapped me.”
We both laugh, “Tamkhulu will not make the
mistake of involving her in the farm.” I assure
him without being sure myself.
“And if she wants him to prove his love? People
do crazy stuff when in love.” He says.
“He won’t.” I hope he won’t.
“I told him I will kill her if he dares involve her in
the farm.” Oh my god! He said that to his
grandfather? “And he knows I will.”
“Sokhaya, that is not a good start.” I say.
“Soyama, I will defend my father’s legacy, I will
protect this for my children so Maria should
keep away from the farm. Keep at what she is
here for.” Tjooh. Tamkhulu should have kept her
hidden. I just lay myself on top of him and his
arms come around my body.
“I am sorry about your parents. I love you.” I
whisper.
“I love you too.” He says.

Nomakrestu is having tea with Maria when I get

to the kitchen. A surprise.
“Don’t look so shocked. She will stay away from
the farm.” Yhoo!
“Morning.” I greet opening the fridge.
“What are you doing out of bed so early?” she
asks.
“I have to be at the farm.” Sokhaya left very
early this morning. Said something about
harvesting and one thing I have come to know
about him is that when he is battling with
something in his mind he overworks himself.
This morning he left at 4 am.
“Eat something.” She says.
I take out a yoghurt and show it to her, “I will
see you later today.” I am no longer a makoti so
I don’t have to make everyone breakfast, they
can all sort themselves out. I bump to
Tamkhulu on my way out and he does not look
like he slept well. I feel sorry for him. Xolani is
waiting beside my car. “Morning X.” I say.
“Hi ma, please put on your seatbelt.” I am sure
these are Sokhaya’s instructions.
I am worried about the situation at home, I will
have to sit and talk to Si’Nomandiya because if
we let this continue we will have a disaster on
our hands. Tamkhulu and Sokhaya should not
be at odds, they cannot be at odds with each
other. My phone rings and it is Si’Nomandiya’s
name flashes on the screen. “Just as I was
thinking about you.” I say.
“I am surprised you are on your way to work
Mthimkhulu.” Me and her have come to be
close and we call each other by our clannames.
“There isn’t much we can do MaDlomo, not this
morning anyway.” I tell her.
“Come home for lunch then you will see that we
can solve this, I will make you and my niece
something to eat.” She says.
“Then we will be there.” I reply.
Forced Love

Insert Twenty Two

I leave the farm without seeing Sokhaya, he is

not working in the office today but I knew that
he will do this. I am so exhausted on the way
home I am actually sleepy, maybe I can pull
sisi’s arm and go sleep instead of trying to
solve this problem. My phone vibrates, an
unknown number, “Hello.” I am so tired my eyes
are closed as I answer.
“Sis, don’t hang up.” Junior? I won’t end the call;
I am not as angry as I was but I am still not very
keen on meeting my family. Sokhaya has been
wanting us to try fix the relations between the
two families.
“I won’t, what is this about?” I am happy yes but
I can never forget how I was made a sacrificial
lamb for him.
“It’s tata Nontle.” My heart beats against my
chest immediately, what does he mean it’s dad?
“He had a heart attack.”
“A heart attack? Is he fine?” my father is no that
old, he cannot be getting heart attacks.
“No, he did not make it. You have to come home
Nontle mama needs you.” The cell phone slips
off my fingers and I just sob, my father is dead?
My dad? It does not make sense.
“Ma? Ma what is it?” the car has stopped and I
open the door, X sounds so scared.
“I want my husband, get my husband Xolani!” I
yell.
All I want is Sokhaya, I want him, he will fix
things. Sokhaya can fix all of this, I just want
him here.

I don’t know how long we wait but the door

opens and he slips in, “Xolani what happened?”
he is scolding the poor guy and all I do is fall
into his arms and sob, “Baby? Baby talk to me.”
He keeps repeating.
“My dad Sokhaya, my dad is dead.” He holds me
tighter and I scream, my father is dead! I never
went back home and spoke to him, why didn’t I
listen to Sokhaya? He died thinking I hate him. “I
want my mother Sokhaya.” I sob.
“Drive us home Xolani.”
Death is so cruel, how does it take one so soon,
so fast? How does it do this? Why didn’t I get a
warning? A chance to tell him it was never so
bad, not as we all thought it would. Why didn’t
he get to sit with Sokhaya and share a bottle of
Heineken? He would’ve loved him. He died
thinking he sent me to hell but I actually found
my soul here, I found sisters, I found love and
happiness, I have a best friend here.
Everything is happening around me, everyone is
packing. Andisiwe, Si’Nomandiya and Phumlani
refuse to stay behind, so soon we are all in the
minibus with Mandla and Xolani at the front,
they are drivers.
“I will find us accommodation; Soyama you will
stay with at your family house?” Andisiwe asks
as we drive out the village.
“Yes.” There is no other way I would want it.
“I am not leaving mama’s side.” Phumlani says.
“I know but we are not leaving her, your dad will
be there and we will see her every day.”
Si’Nomandiya tells him.
“No, dabs. I will stay with Ma.” He replies
stubbornly.
Oh my stubborn big baby, I brush his head and
doesn’t he put it on my lap, “He can stay with
me. He and Sokhaya can come with me.” I tell
them.
“Are you sure? Is that wise?” Andisiwe asks and
I know what she means, Phumlani does not
know the full story of marriage to Sokhaya and I
would love for him not to know but also I want
him near me. I don’t want him to go.
“Yes. If I had it my way you would all be there.”
And I need them, I want them around me and
my baby because I know when I fail to take care
of us they will do it.

It is the wee hours of the morning when we

drive home, the security looks shocked to see
me. I am not sure if it is actually seeing me
after almost a year or the people I am with. His
eyes dart to Phumlani who is curled and asleep
on my lap then to Sokhaya who has a proactive
hand around me. After darting eyes, he lets us
in, “Sure took his time.” Sokhaya mutters.
We first got Si’Nomandiya and Andisiwe
checked into the hotel and they reluctantly let
us leave with Phumlani, as if he would have
spent a night in that hotel.
“Lani? Vuka boy.” I shake him and he opens his
eyes and sit up looking around then nod.
It is a bit chilly and cold when we get off the car,
the front door opens before we even go up the
front stairs and Junior is standing at the
entrance with a baby on his arms, I am shocked.
He looks at me then Sokhaya before his eyes
fall on Phumlani, I see something flicker in his
eyes but it is gone immediately. There is
something different about him, he does not
look like the young 23 years old boy I left. He is
24 now but still, there is something different
about him.
“Come in.” he steps aside and let us in. Mama
is standing next to a young lady who is in her
gown. I walk to mama and hug her, neither of us
cry now and I greet the lady.
“I am sure you are exhausted.” Mama says
looking at Sokhaya, I don’t think she trusts him.
“Yes. Sokhaya and I can take my old room and
Phumlani can take the room next door.” I am
too exhausted for introductions and I am
hungry.
“Okay. Elethu, please take them.” Mama says, I
know she has a lot to ask but she cannot now.
Not in front of whoever this Elethu is and God
forbid in front of Phumlani.
“I am hungry; I need to eat first. Go with
Phumlani Madiba.” I say.
“No.” they both say at the same time, I would
laugh if my family wasn’t actually watching us,
they must think I am in some hostage situation
here.
“You two don’t even start, Phumlani its late go
sleep.” I say staring at him.
“But I can make you something to eat Ma.”
Junior chokes on something.
“Oh, I forgot. Ma, this is my son. Phumlani, Lani
this is my younger brother Junior and my
mom.” I say turning to look at the stunned
people we woke so early.
“Nice to meet you Phumlani.” Mama says.
“Okay with that done, go sleep Phumlani. I will
take your father, I won’t disappear.” I promise, I
don’t know why he is stubborn when he is
exhausted.
“I will get you milk Lani when we come up, and I
will make sure she is fine.” His father promises.
Reluctantly he leaves with Elethu and now I am
left with Junior and my mom.
“Okay I am so hungry.” I say then remember,
introductions, “Mama this is Sokhaya, my
husband. As you know, this is Junior and this is
my mom.” I tell him and he actually gives them
a plastered smile.
“Nice to meet you.” I hope he does not get the
idea to kill Junior. I don’t know how
Si’Nomandiya will look at Junior, everything
happened so fast we didn’t think everything
through. And I know this is selfish but I want her
here, MaDlomo has become my anchor so I
want her with me.
“Nice to meet you Sokhaya, we will speak in the
morning Nono.” Mama says and leaves. I lead
Sokhaya to the kitchen.
“First day went well.” I say.
“Wouldn’t call it a day but don’t worry, we are
here to support you my love. You are more
important than any hatred for anything.” He
says hugging me.
“I know. Let me get you Phumlani his milk, take
it and I will make us something to eat.” I know
he is hungry. Nomfundo says we share the
eating habits of this pregnancy.
He does not protest but does as told, I am left
alone to make us something quickly. “You can
have cereals.” Junior says walking in with
bottles. “Or your husband doesn’t like them.” Of
course Sokhaya does not like cereals, he isn’t
fifteen but he eats whatever I eat.
“More like this little madam doesn’t like them.” I
say though, “You have a child?” I ask.
“Yes. Nontle, she is three months. Her mom and
I are engaged.” He tells me. “Who is that boy?”
he whispers.
“Phumlani? Sokhaya’s son.” I tell him.
“He looks so much like him.” I know who is him,
I remember Nomfundo saying that too and I
have never looked at Samkelo’s picture long
enough to make the resemblance, I still feel
guilty of how short his life was cut. “For a
second I was back to that night.” He says.
“I saw it but he isn’t him. And he does not know
the details so please Junior don’t make things
awkward for that boy.” I say and he nods.
“Samkelo’s mother will be here tomorrow. She
and her younger sister came too, they booked in
a hotel.” I tell him and he sighs.
“They keep a tight leash on you.” He says.
I don’t get a chance to tell him no because
Sokhaya walks in and he looks hell of annoyed,
“She is not some dog, she needs no leash.”
Father god!
Forced Love

Insert Twenty Three

I open my eyes and Sokhaya isn’t besides me

and for a moment I panic, I jump out of bed and
go check on the window, surely there will be
tons of police cars if he killed Junior. But he is
in the garden having coffee while on the phone
while Phumlani is playing soccer with my
cousin’s son. That’s a relief. I don’t want my
kids to have a jailbird for a father.
The door opens and mama walks in,
“Mantombazana.” She says and I smile going to
the bed. “Are you fine?” she asks.
“Don’t worry about me, how are you? I know
how you loved dad.” I say holding her hands and
she is teary.
“Only day 2 but already the journey ahead feels
like an uphill, I will make it though.” I don’t think
I’d survive losing Sokhaya, ever! “But what
about you? Your husband seems overprotective,
he told us to let you rest.” She asks.
“I am okay. For real. I am expecting my first
child, I have a son as big as me and an amazing
husband.” I say and she does not look
convinced. “Sure it wasn’t easy; it was hard
mama. For all of us there, they had just lost
Samkelo but they have never mistreated me. In
the darkest hole mama, I found a second family,
I just wish I had come home sooner to tell you
that. I just wish dad knew how happy I am.
Sokhaya loves me, I love him. And I have found
sisters in his sisters. Samkelo’s mom has been
my rock, even through her own pain. They all
treat me like their sibling, their grandfather
treats me like I am his biological
granddaughter.” I say.
“I am glad. I worry about you. This isn’t how you
have always envisions your life, I know that. You
are now a housewife and that was never your
goal.” She says.
“Actually no. I run a skills centre at the farm.
God! Let me call someone.” I totally forget
about that.
“My bhabha, are you good? Should I come
down?” Nakhane says the moment she answers
my calls.
“Nakhane, no. The skills centre bhabha, I totally
forgot about today’s meeting. The minister will
be there at 3 to see the place.” I tell her.
“Oh you are late; your husband has already fixed
that. I am going to be here to welcome her, pray
I don’t say something to embarrass you.” I
chuckle.
“No you won’t. Thanks Hun, I will keep you
updated about things this side. You call me if
you need something.” I say.
“Hayibo Hun, shouldn’t I be saying that. Stop
stealing my lines.” She says in that humorous
way of hers and I laugh. “So glad to hear that.
I’d give you a verse but you know me, I only go
to church for vibes.” I laugh again; “But I will say
this. Everything passes chomam, all pain pass.
You know there is a season for all, and this may
be that season for you but it will pass. There is
also a promising rainbow coming your way,
your beautiful daughter.” I smile.
I brush my stomach, “I know. Wish my dad met
her.” I tell her.
“I know how you feel but mama always says
dead people are only dead in flesh, they are our
guides and they watch over us. Your father will
know your child, he will see her, protect her and
love her. Look now, baby Rainbow already has
so many guardian angels, your father,
Sokhaya’s parents and his cousins.” I say.
“And his aunt.” My dear sister, my beautiful
Esihle.
“Exactly. And now your father is going to be
there for her, you sure have strong forces on
your side.” She says.
“Why do you always manage to make things
better?” I ask.
“Because I am fabulous like that. Let me go, I
love you.” And she doesn’t give me a chance to
say it back. She always says she knows how
much I love her so she doesn’t have to hear it all
the time. My sweet girl.
I look at mama and we don’t have to say
anymore, I just lean my head on her shoulders
and we hold hands.

Family has started flocking in. Some even

shocked to see me, I see the judgement in their
eyes. They think I ran away to marry my blesser,
and I actually don’t care. It does not matter to
me how I came to marry Sokhaya now, he is my
husband and I am happy. My sisters-in-law are
angels, they are busy working whilst my own
family is busy going up and down the whole
damn house doing nothing.
“I spoke to your brother.” It is only the three of
us in the kitchen and both Andisiwe and I stare
at her. “He actually came to me, Tamkhulu was
right about him. Sometimes it takes something
like what happened for someone to grow.” She
goes on.
“And you think Junior is grown?” I will admit
there was a difference in him today, the Junior I
know would be here throwing tantrums about
dad’s death after getting drunk but this one is
on top of his game. And he is engaged. His
baby mama is also busy with some stuff
outside, along meeting the demands of tea and
scones from my family, as if this is a café.
“What did he say?” Andisiwe asks.
“He actually apologized. He didn’t make any
excuses this time, didn’t speak of how Samkelo
was jogging on the road at night. He actually
took responsibility of the fact that he crossed a
red robot and he wasn’t supposed to be driving
in the first place. And he thanked me, thanked
me for giving him a chance to turn his life
around. And also for taking care of you, for the
way we apparently treated you, he is happy you
are happy.” She says and my eyes are glittering.
“I am glad something good came out of that
dark cloud.” Andisiwe says, both her and I.
Elethu walks in, her baby on her back and a tray
with a few cups.
“Do you guys need help here? I am done serving
tea.” She says.
“No, sit.” Andisiwe replies.
“Where is Junior, we need to speak about dad’s
funeral.” I say getting up.
“And he sure needs you but won’t admit it.
There is some argument upstairs, about what
your family and mom wants.” Elethu tells me.
I know them but also I’ve been dealing with
Nomakrestu the past year, I can handle them. I
leave the kitchen and yes there is an argument,
the moment I am at the first floor I hear it
behind the door of mama’s bedroom. I walk in
and there is silence for a moment. “What is
going on here?” I ask shutting the door behind
me. Junior actually looks relieved to see me.
“This is not your business, you went and had
yourself married without even lobola.” One of
my aunts says.
“And my father was fine with that. You think he
did not know who I married? My parents knew
where I was and why, now what is going on
here?” I ask sitting with mama in the matrass.
“Mama wants tata to be buried here, near the
lake at the back.” Junior tells me. I understand
why she would want that. This is where their
lives were, and my parents have nothing back in
the Eastern Cape, it makes sense that she
would want her husband near her too.
“So? What is the noise about?” I ask.
“Your aunts don’t want that.” Junior looks
exhausted.
“Sadly it isn’t up to them.” I reply taking mama’s
hand. “Mama is married to tata, he chose her
and trusted her with her life. If there is anyone
here who would know what tata would like it is
the woman he spent thirty years of his life with.
No one else.” I say.
“Then we will not come.” My older aunt says.
“Come on dabawo, this is your brother.” Junior
says.
“They you will live with not knowing where your
brother will be buried. Do you think tata would
want this? For you to do this to mama when he
isn’t around? For you to treat her like this? Yell
at her when she just lost the love of her life just
24 hours ago? Have shame. Have shame.” I say
and they all don’t know where to even begin to
look now. “Mama will make the decisions about
her husband, we are all just here to help her and
that is it, we are all in pain but she is in much
bigger pain. Where is the sin in wanting her
husband near her?” no one answers.
“Then it is decided. Mama is making decisions
and we help her out.” Junior says. I look at him
and smile, as much as he was destructive he
has never been a person of conflicts. He hates
them like shit and now he is deep within them.
“And about my lobola, my husband will pay it if
it is that important. I hope no one will treat him
otherwise because of it, because in his home I
am not treated any bad.” I get up, “I have to
check if he has eaten too. Also don’t annoy
Sokhaya, he might just bring your lobola in
brown envelopes if not sport bags.” And I walk
out. He would, God knows he might just bring
them gun money to keep them shut. And I’d
support him, my extended family is very rude.
Forced Love

Insert Twenty Four

It has been a long week.

All of us running like headless chickens and
organising this day. I am also glad that the rain
of the past few days has cleared and we are
able to actually hold my father’s last ceremony
in the garden. Everyone is here. My family from
Cofimvaba after a lot of grunts about it they
decided to come and then the family I have
made in KwaPhalo, Nakhane, Mlo and his
mother in-law are here. A few women from the
skills centre also came, they all came here and
made me a person. We didn’t need to hire
catering because they arrived and they took
charge of the catering, they took over the tea
making and just were useful.
My mother was in total disbelief about this. And
she and Si’Nomandiya get along so well, I
always knew they would. They are both in
medicine but besides that they have a lot in
common. And I watched Si’Nomandiya take
care of my mom in a way I cannot explain. And
Nomakrestu has been, thankfully, sensitive and
just not her rude self. Tamkhulu came with
Maria, that caused a bit of a stir, well everyone
was shocked I think. And Sokhaya didn’t really
want her here, he is still not trusting of her nor
willing to give her a chance. Sisi was right we
need a solution for their predicament before it
takes much strain on Tamkhulu.
This past week has been emotional. A lot.
Everything took its toll on us. Junior and I went
to clean Tata’s office and collect his stuff at
work, Sokhaya drove us. Thank god they get
along just fine. The way his co-workers broke
down when they saw us, it made me feel weak.
The pain I saw in that office, the awkward jokes
trying to make us feel okay about the situation
was kind of a torture. Then we had to help
mama pack Tata’s things as they will not be
used for at least six months then a ceremony
would be done to allow them to be used, I don’t
know how I survive.
No, I am lying.
My friends and family carried me. Lolo and the
gang came as soon as they could and they took
care of me, gave me those power hugs that
assured me all is well. Nakhane and her sassy
jokes, her gossip and late night milk dates ever
since she got here, carried me through also.
Phumlani randomly sending me memes
throughout the day as I went about making
arrangement for the funeral was great, him
sending me VNs to talk to his sister while I was
choosing flowers for the funeral reminded me
that things are bad but there is also good.
And those hugs from Sokhaya during the day.
He would just walk up to me, hug me and kiss
me then remind me to eat. And at the end of
every night he would rub my feet and then hold
me. Also that man is amazing, he became my
listening boarding from the very first day, he sat
up every night and listen to my feelings even
though I said the same thing over and over
again. But the most amazing thing he did in this
time was to become a big brother to my
younger brother. He took care of junior, I
watched him drive Junior around, helping him
with his duties especially with all the drama my
family was doing. I watched him remind Junior
to eat, having a bottle of beer with him on the
porch, listen and advise my younger brother.
And Sokhaya is a big bear, I always say that,
he’d hug him, let him cry after a shitty day with
my family yelling and throwing demands at him.
For that I will forever be grateful of the man
who became my husband.
And this time gave me time to get to know the
woman who has my brother’s heart. What an
amazing young girl, he really started making
good decisions after I left. She is one of them.
She is sweet and very honest, and the way she
loves him can be seen in her eyes. She is in love
and I hope they find what I found.
And all of that, all of that led to this, to this
moment. Saying goodbye to tata. It was hard
but my family, the people I consider my family,
actually came together and that is one of the
most important things I saw happen this week.
My family and Sokhaya’s family came together
and just supported each other, it was like there
was never bad blood between us to begin with
and I only wish that my dad had seen this. I
wish he had actually could experience all of this.
See the love that I saw this week. Even in the
madness of the last week I had those moments
where I just smiled alone, especially at night
where everyone is gone and it was just us.
There would be laughter, shared jokes and
telling of childhood stories on the dining table.
And mama would momentarily leave the
mattress and join everyone.
Everyone came together to try to make this
painful period a bit easy on my mom.
And I actually saw Nomakrestu’s husband!
What an ugly man. And not just in looks, he is
not a good person. Somehow I could
understand why she is this bitter, she is stuck
with that man. Nomfundo’s sweet husband was
here too, he is really meant to be with our sweet
Nomfundo.
The white coffin mama chose suits tata, my
father had the purest intentions in every
situation. He deserves to be buried in pure
white, pure as his heart.
The stories people share about him are not a
shock to me. They are a confirmation that I was
never wrong about him, that I was right to hold
him in such a high regard even at his death.
And another beautiful thing, Phumlani read the
letter I wrote as my goodbye on my behalf, and
when he stood there the MC who is my cousin
introduced him as my dad’s first grandson. He
wanted to cry. I am glad they all welcomed him,
Junior is treating him like a little brother. They
have already twisted Sokhaya and I’s arms to let
him visit them some time. I am happy they get
along.
And instead of wails and tears of sadness, not
that there is no sadness, we actually celebrated
my father. We actually celebrated the man he
was and we said goodbye in a way he would
have loved. I let him go, when the coffin went
down I meant my goodbye, I meant it when I
said he is free to fly and be an angel. As
Nakhane has said so many times, I have gained
an angel and I will always know he has my back.

Everyone is conversing and having lunch, there

is laughter. I am glad there is no heavy sadness
in the air. I would rather we sit and laugh while
sharing dad’s memories instead of crying. I look
at mama and Nakhane’s mother, another
person I knew would get along with my mom.
And she is mama’s favourite, she did take care
of me after all. I turn and walk back to the
garden, the chairs are still here. They will be
taken later on so I sit alone and look at dad’s
picture. He is smiling, his ever beautiful smile.
My dear dad!
“Can I sit?” I look up and it is Nomakrestu, I nod.
“Are you fine?” she asks.
“Yes.” I tell her, she looks like there is war in her
head. “Are you okay?” I ask.
“Made me think of the time we lost my parents,
what a confusing time.” She says looking at
Tata’s picture, “I still miss them, and I feel sorry
for the rest especially Andisiwe and Asanda.
They were too young.” The wound of their
parents’ death has been opened by Maria’s
presence and then this happens.
“I am sorry.” I am never sure what to say to this
one, you never know what is the right thing to
say to Nomakrestu.
“But also it showed me how short life is.” She
seems to have something else in mind, “I am
divorcing my husband.” She chuckles and I am
besides myself with shock. “It has been long
coming Soyama. I want love, I have decided I
want to be happy and he doesn’t make me
happy. He instead ruins me. I am this angry
person now and I am scared one day I will push
all of you away.” She actually has tears and I
put my head on her shoulders.
“You are our sister; we would never leave you.” I
say.
“She is right.” Andisiwe says sitting next to us,
she smiles. She and Andisiwe are always at
odds but I don’t doubt the love between them. “I
am glad you realise how unbearable you are. I
have been waiting for this day because this isn’t
who you are, I know how kind and soft you are.”
She tells her. Of course Andisiwe will give it like
it is. It is just good she can take it.
“I know. And I called a therapist, I have a lot to
unpack. I cannot go on like this; I need to do
better for my children.” She says.
“Why do we always get the best from deaths?” I
can’t believe I just made this joke, we all laugh
then sigh.
“Sometimes there is a silver lining in dark
clouds.” Nomakrestu says, “And you are that
Soyama. You have make Sokhaya so happy, I
am happy too. As long as my mother’s children
are happy.” She goes on. “I am so sorry on how
hard I have been on you. I hope you can forgive
me.” She says. I squeeze her hand and smile.
Things will be fine. We will be able
Forced Love
Insert Twenty Five

Shuu. What a long week it has been. I won’t lie I

am so glad it is over, now we can breathe and
start mourning. Everyone has left, Nomakrestu
offered to go with Tamkhulu and Maria, much
to her husband’s annoyance. She is going to
spend some time home with her kids, Asanda
has school and she is in the middle of final
exams, so I am left with Sokhaya, our son along
with Andisiwe and Si’Nomandiya. You’d swear
these two work for their father’s farm the way
they behave, also they have moved from the
hotel, my mom wouldn’t hear of it. My in-laws
staying in a hotel when we have so many rooms.
And thank God my family also left as soon as
possible, no one needs their energy here.
“You are definitely God’s favourite, look at how
small your stomach is.” Mama says walking
into my room, I am looking at my small bump in
the mirror, I really am.
“And Rainbow is treating me very well.” I tell her
looking at her, I cannot get used to seeing her
wearing black clothing. Just as I can never get
used to not seeing my dad follow behind her
like her shadow, that man loved her.
“The aunts want you down for breakfast before
they come dragging you.” She says and we
laugh, those two are very serious at their taking
care of me. I have never been taken off so
much in my entire life, those two are the best.
“Okay, lets go.” I say taking her hand.

Downstairs we find Si’Nomandiya busy setting

the table for lunch with Junior’s baby on her
back, her mom had to go to school, she is a law
student. Junior also went to work and Sokhaya
took his son to sightsee, they said something
about spending the whole day with too much
women, not that Phumlani isn’t sending me
pictures and videos. His father will need to buy
me more storage or just get me a new cell
phone. What’s a phone when other women get
cars for being pregnant?
“Hey sit, I will put this cutie down.” This one
loves children, she spent the entire week being
Elethu’s unpaid nanny.
“How are you feeling?” Andisiwe asks, earlier I
was a bit nauseous and all but now I am fine.
“Good. Missy was ill behaving a bit.” I tell her,
this one was reminding me who is the boss.
“With all her ill behaviour, Rainbow did you good
with the bump.” Si’Nomandiya says. Rainbow is
officially her nickname when we don’t even
have even the official one.
“She is now Rainbow, have you thought of
names?” Mama asks just what I am thinking.
“No. Her father and I need to speak about that,
but we haven’t.” I tell them.
“Do. Children never arrive when you think they
will, I am sure between you two something will
come up.” Andisiwe says.
“We will but Nakhane was I’d probably give birth
at 10 months since it is my first baby.” I tell
them.
“She is right; it is very likely to happen.” Mom
tells me.
I dish up fruits for myself and my sisters stare
at me so I have to add more, this makes mama
laugh. They are a bore!
“Molweni.” Elethu says walking in, with mama’s
laughing we couldn’t even hear the front door
open.
“Hey, you look tired.” Mama says. I love their
relationship even though I envy it a bit, I am glad
she is not those mother-in-laws who hate their
daughters-in-law.
“I am but I will be okay after a hot bath.” She
says already dishing up for herself, “How was
little Nono?” I am still amazed that they named
their child after me, what an honour.
“She is an angel; I might steal her.”
Si’Nomandiya says.
“Amazing how she behaves until she sees me
or her father, that one is a rascal.” She really is.
She is an angel to everyone then does her best
to hassle her father. And it is not always crying
but she does her best not to be still when she is
with him, she is a bit better with Elethu. Mama
says Junior was a hurricane child so this is his
karma. And that thing she does with her eyes
then smile? She becomes so cute that Junior
has no choice to be wrapped around her little
fingers. Also she has Phumlani and Sokhaya at
the palm of her hands, I can already tell
Rainbow will be spoilt rotten.
Phumlani, like his aunt, does not mind
babysitting duty. He is always there for it. If he
was not going to school next year he’d be my
go to babysitter.
“You know Sokhaya and I have not started on
so much when it comes to Rainbow, we still
have to prepare her space you know. Get her a
cot and everything. We don’t even have a place
to keep the money clothes we have bought for
her.” I tell them.
“Seems like you found a man as lazy as you.”
They all laugh. And mama and Si’Nomandiya
start exchanging mine and Sokhaya’s childhood
stories, should have known it was a bad idea to
have them at the same place for so long. Look
at this mess now.

“You look so sexy now that you have a bump.”

He says watching me walk to bed, a bump that
looks like four months at most. God did me bad.
“Huh, we have a lot to do baby. For the baby, we
don’t even have a name for Rainbow.” I say
getting next him and kiss his cheeks before
lying on the side and look at him.
“Name? I thought Rainbow was her name.” I
stare at him and he laughs, “I am joking. I have
a name; I cannot think of any name for our first
child together than Thandolwethu.” That is a
beautiful name, I smile and brush his cheeks.
“Hope those eyes mean you actually like the
name.” he says.
I like the name, this baby is a testimony of our
love, how far we have come. “Of course I love
the name. So tell me have you gotten over your
fear?” Sokhaya believes that dead people don’t
leave their homes immediately and that for a
while their spirits linger around their homes for
some time, it doesn’t help that tata was home
when he had his heart attack, so we are not
having sex because apparently my father is so
bored he’d watch us have sex.
“No, don’t start Soyama. My father-in-law didn’t
even know me much, in fact all he remembers
of me is me telling him I will kill his son now you
want me to sleep his daughter under his roof
two days after he was laid to rest?” I didn’t
know he was this annoying.
“He has seen you take care of everyone
including the son you threatened to kill, I believe
he wouldn’t mind you making his daughter
happy.” I say.
“Nope, nothing will convince me.” He says.
“Kodwa sithandwa sam, kanti why are you like
this Madiba?” he smiles and I melt, my husband
is handsome, rare beauty.
“You are beautiful Mkam.” He says. “If
Thandolwethu looks as beautiful as you do then
I’m knocking you up in the next two years.” He
swears.
“I was hoping once she crawls then we are
making the next, five children aren’t something
small.” I tell him.
“Five. Seems like I will have my hands full.”
It only dawns to me that since we have never
dated we never spoke about children, ever. We
were navigating marriage life as strangers at
some point then Phumlani came then we were
made aware of Rainbow. “You don’t want many
children?” I ask.
He gives me a wide smile, “I want as many as
you can give me. As long as you are willing to
have more kids we will have them, any gender
too.” Didn’t I win in the husband Olympics?
“You know I love you, right? Like in a way that is
not explainable.” I say.
“I love you too. You are everything to me.” As
long he keeps loving me like this them I will live
with his superstitions and beliefs about dead
people. I can live even with his muddy boots;
God know how annoying they are.
Forced Love

Insert Twenty Six

“Rainbow!!” Today her younger brother turns a

year old. Sokhaya was right we had our second
child just a week after Rainbow turned two,
which means last week we were doing this and
this week we are again. But I wouldn’t have it
otherwise. Ngcwele was born at midnight, at
home with a midwife in water just as Rainbow
was. And ten months after his own birth, two
months ago, we had Asiphile, the same way.
Unlike Rainbow, there was no flat stomach in
these two pregnancies, I was big as a giant and
half the time irritable too.
“Ngcwele!” I yell again. Ngcwele started walking
at nine months, proving the superstition that
falling pregnant whilst the other child is still on
breast hinders their development wrong. And
ever since he was able to use his legs he
started running after his older sister. Now,
Rainbow is her father’s daughter so every time
they disappear they will be found playing with
the pigs, today is not the day.
“Thando …” I stop as Phumlani appears carrying
the birthday boy.
“Had to take them to the shop to stop their
endeavours.” He tells me.
Phumlani is grown. He is twenty years old and
pursuing his law degree at Wits, he is doing
pretty well and making me a proud mom.
Besides we do need a lawyer in this family, God
knows.
“Thank you sunny, where is Rainbow?” I ask
because that little missy could have sneaked a
trip to the pigsty if she isn’t killing Maria’s
chickens.
“She saw dad and dabs.” He tells me.
Maria stayed. She and Sokhaya are in far better
position that they were when she got here, she
is indeed in love with the old man and they
remain unmarried to date. Nomakrestu returned
home permanently and is a principal at the local
High school, I am proud of her. Asanda
graduated and is working as a journalist for a
paper in Gqeberha, Andisiwe decided to pursue
a degree in accounting and has quit her job at
the police force completely, and Si’Nomandiya
and her baby daddy and long-time boyfriend
officially got married.
It has been a happy few years but it has been a
bit hard. Elethu died and Junior became a single
father, he was awarded Nontle’s full custody in
court. He still lives with mom and got a job as a
coach for a soccer club, his dream job. Not so
bad.
Nomfundo and her husband decided to adopt
even against the wishes of her marital family,
who after learning their son is the infertile one
decided his brother can borrow him a seed. I
am glad that they actually did not take it. There
is nothing with siblings helping each other out,
and donating semen is not such a bad thing but
the brother and family expected Nomfundo to
sleep with the brother-in-law. They were crazy,
and made their son feel like less of a man, and
that relationship has been proven to be hard to
fix. Nomfundo and her husband relocated to
Cape Town, they liked it when they were there
for my dad’s funeral. Also, I like that I have
people I trust around my mom.
And it turned out Nakhane has a step child after
all, one that is obviously older than her marriage
or Mlo would be buried and dead. She didn’t
come looking for her father, she came to visit
as Phumlani’s girlfriend and my genius friend
stole her toothbrush. In her defence, the child
apparently looked a lot like her late mother-in-
law, of course no one thought anything of it
because humans look alike a lot, but this is
Nakhane we are talking about – she never
stops thinking. And that is how that pretty girl
met her father whom she thought was dead.
And the mom was a one night stand from
Msobomvu, the things Mlo do! Clap once. Her
mom is now married and she lives with her
grandparents so Mlo went to do what was
necessary and was granted the permission to
take the child. Me and Nakhane are now in-laws,
who would’ve thought?! And you know what she
said? We are definitely keeping the farm within
the family. And because she is the doctor she
randomly drops off condoms for Phumlani, a
reminder to never make us grandmothers at
this young age. I am 29, I’d die if I were to be a
grandmother. A lot has happened but thank God
I still love Sokhaya. Imagine how awkward it’d
be if it turned out to be just great sex and
infatuation? Lord!

I am glad today is sunny, imagine if it rained

when I have so many guests coming to
celebrate my prince. “Mommy bear, no time to
day dream.” Si’Nomandiya says joining me,
marriage glow has never left her face.
“Hey, when did you arrive?” I ask.
“Oh, now. What are you thinking about?” she
asks.
“That I am happy I am not a grandmother, yet.” I
say looking at Phumlani and Nonopha who are
leaning on Sokhaya’s car laughing at something.
Si’Nomandiya laughs.
“It won’t be long at this rate. By the time you
turn 35 you will be a grandma, if you are lucky.”
She tells me.
“Not helping. Where is S’bari?” I ask.
“Sokhaya and Mlo took him the moment he got
off the car.” She says rolling her eyes,
“Nomfundo’s husband looks happy now.” Those
two arrived last night.
“He deserves it. They both do.” I say, “We all
do.” I add.
“I know. Where are my kids? I didn’t see Asiphile
behind Rainbow.” She says.
“Maria is bathing him, you know her and
Tamkhulu love acting like grandparents of the
century.” I say, “And Mellow is sleeping.” My
children all have some cute nicknames.
Thandolwethu is Rainbow thanks to Nakhane,
Ngcwele is Munchie thanks to his older brother
and Asiphile is Mellow short for Marshmallows
which came from her father as I loved them
during the pregnancy.
“You are not pregnant are you?” she is side
eyeing me and I laugh, she is always asking me
that every time she sees me. “You and Sokhaya
are on some mission.”
“No. We will give Munchies and Mellow a
growing chance.” I reply.
“Thank God, you will run out of names.” She
says.
We won’t, we already have possible names for
every child we will have. She is right though; we
are on a mission. Giving my children what they
have, siblings to rely on. When they lost their
parent they had each other and that is what
they will have, each other should Sokhaya and I
ever leave this earth. Hopefully, it won’t be until
they have selected their own paths and have
found happiness. I wouldn’t want to die with
children as young as Sokhaya and his siblings
were.
“You two are gossiping.” My handsome man
walks in with the little human, Mellow who us
drooling saliva as always. “Miss here is awake.”
He says kissing me. I cannot believe that he will
be turning 40 in two years, he is so old. He even
has a big of grey hair now, and his beard that he
is growing is black and grey.
“The party should start.” I say.
“I will get Mr Party.” Si’Nomandiya offers and
walk away.
“Ncncncnc.” He is watching Phumlani and
Nonopha, “How long you think it will take before
they impregnate each other?” Why is everyone
so convinced they will be making a baby soon.
“Not soon if Nakhane and I have anything to do
with it.” I tell him, “She is on contraceptives and
there are condoms.” I say, “And you had a sex
talk with him.” Well they had what I hope was
that.
 “Yes but I am not such great example, I did
have him when I was 18. But enough on that,
lets go celebrate our little love.” He says.
Si’Nomandiya and Munchies pass by the
window going to the tent, time to go be a mom.
We leave the house and everyone is already
seated, Rainbow is sitting next to Munchies and
that is the only way he will sit there as Mr Party.
Andisiwe is the MC and is actually in-charge of
today, all I have to do is wave when I get my
credits for pushing him out and appearing in
amazing photos.
I hold Sokhaya’s free hand as the birthday
celebration starts.
Who would have thought it’d work? Forced
Marriage. No, Forced Love. This was love that
was forced by the universe in the cruellest way
but it has been the best love I have ever had.
The past four years of marriage have been
amazing. Falling in love with this man with each
waking day has been a dream come true. Life
has come to mean so much, matter so much,
ever since I stepped into this yard limping and
terrified.
Would I change anything?
No.
Maybe.
Maybe Samkelo would have survived the
accident, that would be ideal but I wouldn’t have
chosen anything over marrying his uncle under
any circumstances. I would have resigned from
Samuel & Co, gave everything up, excitedly if I
knew what was actually awaiting me in
KwaPhalo.
I was awaited by love, beautiful babies, friends,
sisters and grandparents.
This I’d choose all over again.
“I love you.” My husband whispers then kiss the
knob of my ear before turning to our son’s
birthday.

The End.