Gendered Lives Communication Gender Culture Twelfth Edition Julia T Wood Full Chapter

Gendered Lives: Communication,
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TWELFTH EDITION
Gendered Lives
Communication, Gender,
& Culture
Julia T. Wood
Lineberger Distinguished Professor of Humanities Emerita
The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
Natalie Fixmer-Oraiz
Department of Communication Studies
Department of Gender, Women's, and Sexuality Studies
The University of Iowa
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Printed in the United States of America

Print Number: 01 Print Year: 2015
This book is dedicated to Susan B. Anthony, Frederick Douglass,
Charlotte Perkins Gilman, Emma Goldman, Sarah Grimke, Francis
Ellen Watkins Harper, Alice Paul, Margaret Sanger, Elizabeth Cady
Stanton, Maria Stewart, Sojourner Truth, Mary Wollstonecraft, and
other women and men who began the conversation about gender in
this country;
and to
Maya Angelou, Gloria Anzaldúa, Ella Baker, Robert Bly, Judith Butler,
Karlyn Campbell, Mary Daly, Simone de Beauvoir, Marilyn French,
Michael Kimmel, Betty Friedan, Ellen Goodman, J. Jack Halberstam,
bell hooks, Jackson Katz, Evelyn Fox Keller, Lady Gaga, Madonna,
Bill McCartney, Gloria Steinem, and other women and men who
have added to the cultural dialogue about gender;
and to
Jason Muehlhoff, Malia Obama, Sasha Obama, Niko Pezzullo Striphas,

Daniel Wood Wilco, Harrison Wood Wilco, Michelle Wood Wilco,
and other boys and girls whose voices will shape the next generation’s
understanding of women and men, masculinity and femininity, and
the meaning of gender in our society.
Brief Contents
PREFACE xvii
ABOUT THE AUTHORS xxiii
INTRODUCTION Opening the Conversation 1
PART 1 CONCEPT UAL FO UND A TIONS
CHAPTER 1 The Study of Communication, Gender, and Culture 14
CHAPTER 2 Theoretical Approaches to Gender Development 35
CHAPTER 3 The Rhetorical Shaping of Gender: Competing Images

of Women 57
CHAPTER 4 The Rhetorical Shaping of Gender: Competing Images of Men 79
CHAPTER 5 Gendered Verbal Communication 101
CHAPTER 6 Gendered Nonverbal Communication 122
PART 2 G E N D E R E D C O M M U N I C A T I ON IN P R A C T I C E
CHAPTER 7 Becoming Gendered 142
CHAPTER 8 Gendered Education: Communication in Schools 165
CHAPTER 9 Gendered Close Relationships 185
CHAPTER 10 Gendered Organizational Communication 208
CHAPTER 11 Gendered Media 233
CHAPTER 12 Gendered Power and Violence 255
GLOSSARY 281
REFERENCES 289
INDEX 317
Contents
PREFACE xvii
ABOUT THE AUTHORS xxiii
INTRODUCTION Opening the Conversation 1

The Social Construction of Inequality 2
Feminism—Feminisms 3
Becoming Aware 5
Why We Wrote This Book 7
Communication as the Fulcrum of Change 10
The Challenge of Studying Communication, Gender, and Culture 11
Features of Gendered Lives 11
PART 1 CONCEPTUAL FOUNDATIONS
CHAPTER 1 The Study of Communication, Gender, and Culture 14

Communication, Gender, and Culture as an Area of Study 14
Research on Gender, Communication, and Culture 15
Reasons to Learn about Communication, Gender, and Culture 15
Gender in a Transitional Era 16
Differences between Women and Men 17
Relationships among Gender, Culture, and Communication 18
Sex 19
Gender 20
Beyond Sex and Gender 25
Culture 29
Communication 30
Communication Is a Dynamic Process 30
Communication Is Systemic 30
Communication Has Two Levels of Meaning 31
Meanings Are Created through Human Interaction with Symbols 32
CHAPTER 2 Theoretical Approaches to Gender Development 35

Theoretical Approaches to Gender 35
Biological Theories of Gender 36
Interpersonal Theories of Gender 41
Psychodynamic Theories of Gender Development 41
Psychological Theories of Gender Development 42
Social Learning Theory 42
Cognitive Development Theory 43
Cultural Theories of Gender 45
Anthropology 45
Symbolic Interactionism 46
Critical Theories of Gender 48
Standpoint Theory 48
Queer Performative Theory 50
Theories Working Together 54
vii
viii CONTENTS
CHAPTER 3 The Rhetorical Shaping of Gender: Competing

Images of Women 57
The Three Waves of Women’s Movements in the United States 58
The First Wave of Women’s Movements in the United States 59
Liberal Ideology: The Women’s Rights Movement 59
Cultural Ideology: The Cult of Domesticity 60
The Second Wave of Women’s Movements in the United States 61
Liberal Ideology 62
Cultural Ideology 68
Contemporary Feminism 70
Riot Grrrl 71
Power Feminism 71
Mainstream Third-Wave Feminism 72
Hip-Hop Feminism 75
CHAPTER 4 The Rhetorical Shaping of Gender: Competing Images of Men 79

Profeminist Men’s Groups 80
NOMAS 82
ACT UP: The AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power 83
Men’s Antiviolence Groups 84
The White Ribbon Campaign 84
Walk a Mile in Her Shoes 86
Mentors in Violence Prevention 86
Masculinist Men’s Groups 87
Men’s Rights 87
Father’s Rights Groups 88
Mythopoetic Men 89
Promise Keepers 90
The Million Man March 93
Contemporary Men’s Movements 94
The Good Men Project 96
CHAPTER 5 Gendered Verbal Communication 101

Verbal Communication Expresses Cultural Views of Gender 102
Male Generic Language Excludes Women 102
Language Defines Men and Women Differently 102
Language Shapes Awareness of Gendered Issues 105
Language Organizes Perceptions of Gender 106
Language Evaluates Gender 107
Language Allows Self-Reflection 108
Gendered Styles of Verbal Communication 109
Gendered Speech Communities 109
The Lessons of Children’s Play 109
Boys’ Games 110
Girls’ Games 110
Gendered Communication Practices 112
Feminine Communication 112
Masculine Communication 114
The Gender-Linked Language Effect 116
Gender-Based Misinterpretations in Communication 116
Showing Support 116
Troubles Talk 117
CONTENTS ix
The Point of the Story 119

Relationship Talk 119
Public Speaking 119
CHAPTER 6 Gendered Nonverbal Communication 122

Functions of Nonverbal Communication 123
Supplement Verbal Communication 124
Regulate Interaction 124
Establish the Relationship Level of Meaning 124
Responsiveness 124
Liking 125
Power or Control 125
Forms of Nonverbal Communication 125
Artifacts 126
Proximity and Personal Space 129
Haptics (Touch) 130
Kinesics (Facial and Body Motion) 130
Paralanguage 132
Physical Appearance 132
Interpreting Nonverbal Behavior 137
Respecting Gendered Styles of Nonverbal Communication 138
PART 2 G E N D E R E D C O M M U N I C AT I O N I N P R A C T I C E
CHAPTER 7 Becoming Gendered 142

Gendering Communication in the Family 144
Unconscious Processes 144
Gender Identity 144
Ego Boundaries 147
Parental Communication about Gender 148
Parental Modeling 150
The Personal Side of the Gender Drama 151
Growing Up Masculine 152
Don’t Be Feminine 152
Be Successful 152
Be Aggressive 153
Be Sexual 154
Be Self-Reliant 154
Embody and Transcend Traditional Views of Masculinity 155
Growing Up Feminine 156
Appearance Still Counts 157
Be Sensitive and Caring 157
Negative Treatment by Others 158
Be Superwoman 159
There Is No Single Meaning of Feminine Anymore 161
Growing Up Outside Conventional Genders 161
CHAPTER 8 Gendered Education: Communication in Schools 165

Gendered Expectations and Pressures Facing Students 166
Academics 166
Males 166
Females 167
x CONTENTS
LGBTQ Students 172

Gender Isn’t the Whole Story 173
Athletics 173
Gender Pressures from Peers 175
Pressures to Conform to Masculinity 176
Pressures to Conform to Femininity 177
Gendered Expectations and Pressures Facing Faculty 180
CHAPTER 9 Gendered Close Relationships 185

The Meaning of Personal Relationships 185
Models of Personal Relationships 186
The Male Deficit Model 187
The Alternate Paths Model 187
Gendered Styles of Friendship 188
Feminine Friendships: Closeness in Dialogue 189
Masculine Friendships: Closeness in the Doing 191
Friendships between Women and Men 192
Gendered Romantic Relationships 193
Developing Romantic Intimacy 194
Gendered Patterns in Committed Relationships 195
Gendered Modes of Expressing Affection 196
Gendered Preferences for Autonomy and Connection 197
Gendered Responsibility for Relational Health 198
Gendered Power Dynamics 198
CHAPTER 10 Gendered Organizational Communication 208

Gendered Stereotypes in the Workplace 209
Stereotypes of Women 209
Sex Object 209
Mother 210
Child 213
Iron Maiden 213
Stereotypes of Men 214
Sturdy Oak 214
Fighter 214
Breadwinner 215
Masculine Norms in Professional Life 216
Traditional Masculine Images of Leaders 216
Traditionally Masculine Norms for Career Paths 218
Gendered Patterns in Organizations 219
Formal Practices 219
Leave Policies 219
Work Schedules 220
Informal Practices 222
Unwelcoming Environments for Women 222
The Informal Network 223
Mentoring Relationships 223
Glass Ceilings and Walls 224
Efforts to Redress Gendered Inequity in Institutions 225
Equal Opportunity Laws 225
Affirmative Action Policies 226
Quotas 228
Goals 229
Diversity Training 230
CONTENTS xi
CHAPTER 11 Gendered Media 233

Media Saturation of Cultural Life 234
Media Impacts 235
Set the Agenda 235
Regulate Images of Women and Men 236
Underrepresent Women and Minorities 236
Portray Men Stereotypically 237
Portray Women Stereotypically 238
Gendered Images in Advertising 241
Motivate Us to Consume 244
Gender and Social Media 246
Social Networking 246
Learning and Sharing Information 248
Holding Others Accountable 249
Activism 249
Consequences of Gendered Media 251
Normalize Unrealistic Standards 251
Normalize Violence against Women 251
CHAPTER 12 Gendered Power and Violence 255

The Many Faces of Gendered Violence 256
Gender Intimidation 256
Sexual Harassment 257
Quid Pro Quo 257
Hostile Environment 257
Sexual Assault 258
Intimate Partner Violence 262
Genital Surgery 266
Male Circumcision 266
Sunna 267
Excision or Clitoridectomy 267
Infibulation 268
Gender-Based Murder 269
Reproductive Violence 269
Cultural Foundations of Gendered Violence 272
The Normalization of Violence in Media 272
The Normalization of Violence by Institutions 272
Schools 273
Family 273
Law Enforcement 274
Language 274
Resisting Gendered Violence: Where Do We Go from Here? 274
Personal Efforts to Reduce Gendered Violence 274
Social Efforts to Reduce Gendered Violence 275
Taking a Voice 276
GLOSSARY 281
REFERENCES 289
INDEX 317
L IST OF E XPLORING G ENDERED L IVES B OXES
INTRODUCTION
About “Male-Bashing”: Julia and Natalie—the Authors—Comment 6
Multicultural Perspectives on Gender 7
CHAPTER 1
Journals That Feature Research on Gender and Communication 16
Grown-Up Tomboys 19
Social Views of Intersexuality 20
T Troubles 21
Pink Is for Boys? 24
Trans Students 27
CHAPTER 2
Chromosomal Variations 37
The Claims of Sociobiology 39
Biological Differences That Make a Difference 40
Varied Cultural Approaches to Fathering 46
Ga Ga for Lady Gaga 53
CHAPTER 3
A’n’t I a Woman? 60
Reproductive Rights 61
The Famous Bra Burning (That Didn’t Happen!) 63
About NOW 64
To Be Womanish, To Be a Womanist 66
Antifeminism 68
The Text of the Equal Rights Amendment 69
Lesbian, Bisexual, Trans, and Queer-Identified Women 70
“Don’t Tell Us How to Dress. Tell Men Not to Rape.” 74
A Postfeminist Era? 76
CHAPTER 4
The Scariest Phrase? 82
Men Can Stop Rape 85
Rites of Manhood 90
Grassroots Men’s Ministries 93
xiii
xiv LIST OF EXPLORING GENDERED LIVES BOXES
Misogyny 95
“If You Don’t Like What’s Being Said, Change the Conversation.” 97
CHAPTER 5
Parallel Language? 104
What’s in a Name? 105
Seeing the Unseen/Naming the Unnamed 106
Fat Talk 108
Gender and Gaming Culture 111
Scholarship versus Popular Psychology 118
CHAPTER 6
Guns Are for Girls; Tea Parties Are for Boys 127
Indecent Dress for Women 128
Beauty for Sale 132
A New Model for Models? 134
Modeling Physical Beauty 137
CHAPTER 7
Superheroes and Slackers 146
Sisterhood? 159
Careers for Women: Gendered, Raced, and Classed 160
CHAPTER 8
Single-Sex Educational Programs 167
Name That (Wo)man 170
Straddling Two Cultures 174
Title IX: Fiction and Fact 176
Schoolyard Bullying 178
Hooked Up 179
CHAPTER 9
When Focusing on Feelings Makes Us Feel Bad 190
Fertile Expectations 199
Dads at Work 201
Scientists and the Second Shift 203
Fathering in Other Species 204
The Mommy Myth 204
Global Nannies 205
LIST OF EXPLORING GENDERED LIVES BOXES xv
CHAPTER 10
Personal Choice or Institutional Discrimination? 211
Can Women (and Men) Have It All? 212
Strategies for Women’s Success in the Workplace 214
Gendered Wages 215
If She’s a He, He’s Better and Paid Better Too! 217
Work-Life Balance for All 222
The Glass Escalator 225
When Quotas Raise Questions—and When They Don’t 229
CHAPTER 11
The Geena Davis Institute 236
Beyond Sexy Sidekicks and Damsels in Distress 239
Miss Representation 243
Is Censorship the Answer? 244
Am I Pretty? 247
Watch out for Sparks 250
CHAPTER 12
Hollaback! 256
First Rape, Then Marriage 260
Sexual Assault of Men 261
The Victim 262
Corrective Rape 263
Myths and Facts about Rape 263
The Cycle of Intimate Partner Violence 265
Myths and Facts about Violence between Intimates 266
To Circumcise or Not to Circumcise: That Is the Question 267
A Vacation to Remember 268
Forced Abortion 270
Whose Rights? Whose Protection? 271
Refusing to Be Defeated 276
Preface
We wrote Gendered Lives for two reasons. First, we want to introduce students to a
rich body of research that informs us about the intricate connections among com-
munication, gender, and culture. Second, we think that learning about these con-
nections empowers students to make more informed decisions about how they
personally enact gender, address gender issues in their lives, and contribute to cul-
tural attitudes, perspectives, laws, and policies related to gender.
Since the first edition of this book appeared in the early 1990s, our under-
standings of gender have changed and issues related to gender have mush-
roomed. Society has acknowledged a greater range of options for individual
women and men—in the military, in the home, in professional life, in social
life, and in politics. During the past 20 years, society has become more accepting
of gay, lesbian, and transgender identities, new women’s and men’s movements
have emerged, mass media have challenged some gender stereotypes while creat-
ing others, and social media have added to the content and forms by which gen-
der is continuously negotiated. Academic researchers have continued to map the
ways that communication, gender, and culture influence one another. This new
edition responds to social changes in the United States and around the world, as
well as to feedback from students and faculty who generously offered ideas for
ways to improve this book.
We discuss this book’s origins and features in the Introduction (“Opening the
Conversation,” pages 1–13). Here, we want to describe changes that make this edi-
tion different from the last and identify supplementary resources available for stu-
dents and instructors.
Changes in Gendered Lives,

Twelfth Edition
The most important change in this edition is the addition of a coauthor: Natalie
Fixmer-Oraiz. Julia authored the first 11 editions of this book. Over the last 15
years, her conversations and writing with Natalie have deepened her understand-
ing of the profound ways in which gender and power are imbricated. Invariably,
Natalie’s ideas found their way into Julia’s thinking and writing about issues
discussed in this book. Deciding to write the book together is an organic out-
growth of our long-term intellectual collaboration. Natalie’s groundbreaking
research and her passion for teaching make her the ideal coauthor for Gendered
Lives.
In addition to being coauthored, five significant changes differentiate this
edition from its predecessors.
xvii
xviii PREFACE
Enhanced Coverage of Gendered Health Issues

This edition gives greater attention to the ways in which cultural understandings and
expectations of gender influence physical and mental health. For instance, in the
Introduction, we note that pharmaceutical companies have constructed “low T” as
a problem men need to address by buying prescription testosterone, which can
cause serious health problems, including heart attacks. Chapter 1 points out that
women bear the vast majority of responsibility for reproductive matters ranging
from contraception to parenting. These responsibilities are accompanied by risks,
some of which are significant. Chapter 6 discusses the push for and dangers of cos-
metic surgery and the pressure many people, males as well as females, feel to achieve
media-created physical perfection. In addressing gendered violence, Chapter 12 cata-
logs a wide range of health problems that result from rape, female genital mutilation,
and reproductive violence. Chapter 12 also covers recent efforts by colleges and uni-
versities to take campus sexual assaults seriously. The sharpened focus on health issues
shows that social views of men and women are not simply abstract; they are also very
concrete in terms of consequences on our well-being and even our very lives.
Integrated Emphasis on Digital Media

Digital and online media are pervasive in our lives. Not only are digital media
sources of gender socialization, but also they are powerful platforms for rethinking
gender and for gender activism. Accordingly, we revised Chapter 11, Gendered
Media, to track the increasingly blurred lines between digital and mass media. We
also incorporated discussion digital media into other chapters. For example, we
revised Chapter 9, Gendered Close Relationships, to call attention to the ways in
which computer-mediated communication (CMC) is changing/reinforcing gen-
dered expressions of care, friendship, and intimacy. Chapters 3 and 4 note ways
that social movements about gender rely on social media, and Chapter 12 points
out ways that social media are used to challenge gendered violence.
Revised Coverage of Women’s and Men’s

Movements
This edition continues our commitment to tracing the evolution of women’s and
men’s movements. Chapter 3, which focuses on women’s movements, includes new
material on La Raza, an organization that represents interests of Chicana feminists,
and the Riot Grrrl movement, which laid the foundation for the third wave of
U.S. feminism. Chapter 3 also includes a new section on “postfeminism,” in
which we invite students to consider whether it is accurate to assume feminism is
no longer needed in the United States. Chapter 4, which covers men’s movements,
includes new material on the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power (ACT UP), a men’s
health movement that began when the AIDS crisis first surfaced in the United
States and which marked a critical juncture in which men’s and women’s groups
worked together.
PREFACE xix
Explicit Emphasis on Application

Since the first edition, Gendered Lives has encouraged students to apply material in
the book by reflecting on gendered issues in their lives and by taking a voice in
their personal lives as well as the public sphere. This edition enlarges the commit-
ment to application by providing more explicit invitations for students to think,
act, and otherwise do something active and personal related to what they learn in
the book and the course it accompanies. The Exploring Gendered Lives boxes that
appear in every chapter now conclude by asking students to take a stand on the
topic discussed. At the end of each chapter, the Reflection, Discussion, and Action
feature now includes a Gender in Action item that encourages students to apply or
extend a concept or topic discussed in the chapter to their lives. The Gender in
Action items are highlighted by the icon .
Up-to-Date Research
A final focus of this revision is updating research. Understandings of gender and
issues connected to it change at lightning speed. To keep up with these changes, a
textbook must be continuously updated to reflect the most current research and
events. To ensure the currency of Gendered Lives, we’ve incorporated more than
250 new references into this edition.
Pedagogical Features to Engage Students

Five features are aimed to heighten students’ engagement with the text and issues
related to gender. First, each chapter opens with “Knowledge Challenge” questions,
which focus on issues that are often misunderstood and which are covered in the
chapter. Second, to encourage active engagement with material, selected Exploring
Gendered Lives boxes conclude by asking students’ opinion about issues raised in
the feature. Third, each chapter concludes with questions for thought, discussion,
and application. These may be assigned for students to think about or as journal
entries. They may also be prompts for class discussion. Fourth, “Gender Online,”
which appears after each chapter summary, invites students to visit websites related
to chapter content and to search online for videos and information about concepts
and ideas in the chapter. Finally, at the end of each chapter, we suggest two to four
sources—films, articles, websites, and books. Our criteria for selecting these are
that (1) we consider them either classic or especially insightful, and (2) they are
accessible to undergraduate students.
In making these five changes, we’ve avoided “page creep”—the tendency of
books to grow longer with each new edition because old material is not deleted to
make room for new material. We have eliminated dated coverage and references to
make room for more current research and coverage of timely topics. We hope the
changes make this edition of Gendered Lives a valuable resource for instructors and
students who want to explore the complex and fascinating ways in which commu-
nication, gender, and culture interact and affect our lives.
xx PREFACE
Supplementary Resources for Students

and Instructors
Gendered Lives, twelfth edition, offers electronic supplements to assist in making
the gender communication course as meaningful and enjoyable as possible for
both students and instructors, and to help students succeed. Cengage Learning
has prepared the following descriptions for your consideration.
Instructor Companion Website. The password-protected instructor’s website
includes electronic access to the Instructor’s Resource Manual, PowerPoints,
CogneroTesting Program, Comprehensive Video Program, and links to Cengage
Learning technology resources.
Written by Emily Anzicek at Bowling Green State University, the Instructor’s
Resource Manual comprises two main parts, the first titled and addressing Special
Issues in Teaching Communication, Gender & Culture, and the second a Chapter-
by-Chapter Guide for Teaching Gendered Lives, which provides chapter outlines,
activities, and test questions.
®
PowerPoint presentations prepared by Larry Edmonds at Arizona State Uni-
versity contain text and images, and can be used as is or customized to suit your
course needs.
Please consult your local Cengage Learning sales representative or cengage.com
/login for more information, user names and passwords, examination copies, or a
demonstration of these ancillary products. Available to qualified adopters.
Acknowledgments
One of the most gratifying aspects of writing a book is the opportunity to thank
those who have offered support, insight, and advice. First and foremost, we thank
our students. The women and men in our classes and those we meet when we visit
other campuses are unfailing sources of insight for us. Their questions and ideas,
their willingness to challenge some of our notions, and their generosity in sharing
their perceptions and experiences have shaped the pages that follow in both
obvious and subtle ways.
Among the undergraduate students who have pushed us to think in new ways
about gender, communication, and culture are Jordana Adler, Cutler Andrews,
Brandon Carter, Ethan Cicero, Alexis Dennis, Madeline Fitzgerald, Paige Pennigar,
and Nisha Verma. Among the graduate students who have influenced our thinking
are J. Beckham, Jen Cronin, Kate Harris, Naomi Johnson, Kristen Norwood, Tim
Muehlhoff, Julia O’Grady, Phaedra Pezzullo, Stace Treat, and Grover Wehman-
Brown.
Our thinking and writing also reflect conversations with colleagues. We are par-
ticularly grateful to Professor Bonnie Dow, Vanderbilt University, who has pro-
vided wise advice and challenges since the first edition of this book. We are also
indebted to Lynn O’Brien Hallstein, Boston University, for her generative research
PREFACE xxi
and her passion for wrestling with questions about gender, communication, and
culture.
We have benefited from the professional support of Nicole Morinon, Senior
Product Manager for Communication Studies, and Kate Scheinman, Content
Developer, who made our job as authors far easier and far more satisfying than
we had a right to expect. Along with Nicole and Kate, others at Cengage Learning
have contributed in important ways to this edition of Gendered Lives. They are
Colin Solan, Production Assistant; Karolina Kiwak, Associate Content Developer;
Sarah Seymour, Marketing Manager. Daniel Saabye, Content Product Manager;
and Ann Hoffman, Permissions Manager. As well we thank Samantha Ross-Miller,
who managed the production of this book.
Finally, we are indebted to the reviewers for this edition:
Sandra Alvarez, American International College
Sandy Berkowitz, Minneapolis Community and Technical College
Mary Carver, University of Central Oklahoma
Linda Dam, University of Connecticut
Abby Dubisar, Iowa State University
Charlotte Jones, Carroll College
Mary L. Kahl, Indiana State University
Myrna Kuehn, Clarion University of Pennsylvania
Amanda Martinez, Davidson College
Julie Mayberry, Meredith College/North Carolina State University
Kelly McKay-Semmler, University of South Dakota
Susan McManimon, Rider University and Kean University
Nina-Jo Moore, Appalachian State University
Kaneez Naseem, Monroe College
Jessica Papajcik, Stark State College
Kimberly Parker, Bellarmine University
Mairi Pileggi, Dominican University of California
Joquina Reed, Texas A&M International University
Henrietta Shirk, Montana Tech of the University of Montana
Erika Thomas, California State University, Fullerton
Joseph Velasco, Sul Ross State University
Justin Walton, Cameron University
Carrie West, Schreiner University
Debbie Wigington, Chemeketa Community College
And, always, we thank our partners. Julia thanks Robbie for his support, criti-
cism, and, most of all, his steadfast presence in her life. Natalie is ever grateful to
Vanessa for sharing her mad smarts, generosity, compassion, and love.
Julia T. Wood
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Natalie Fixmer-Oraiz
Iowa City, Iowa
June 2015
About the Authors
Julia T. Wood is Lineberger Distinguished Professor of Humanities Emerita at the

University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She joined that university at the age of
24. While on the faculty, she was named the Lineberger Distinguished Professor
of Humanities and the Caroline H. and Thomas S. Royster Distinguished Professor
of Graduate Education. She has authored 17 books and edited 10 others. In addition,
she has published more than 100 articles and book chapters and has presented
numerous papers at professional conferences. She has won 12 awards for undergrad-
uate teaching and 15 awards for her scholarship.
Julia lives with her partner, Robert Cox, who is Professor Emeritus of Commu-
nication Studies at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Filling out their
immediate family are their dog, Cassidy, and two cats, Rigby and Rowdy. When
not teaching or writing, Julia works with, and consults on sex and gender issues,
and volunteers at the Carolina Tiger Rescue.
Natalie Fixmer-Oraiz is an Assistant Professor of Communication Studies and
Gender, Women’s and Sexuality Studies at the University of Iowa. She has pub-
lished articles on rhetoric and reproductive justice, the commercial surrogacy
industry, and third-wave feminism, as well as book chapters on the public debates
surrounding birth control and communication activism pedagogy. She is currently
at work on Homeland Maternity, a book that examines contemporary struggles
over reproductive health and motherhood in the context of homeland security cul-
ture. In addition, Natalie has been honored by teaching awards from the University
of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and the American Association of Colleges and
Universities. She is committed to service-learning and experiential education as
means of helping students make connections between theory and practice; and
the community and the classroom. She continues her involvement in reproductive
health and justice initiatives in United States and transnational contexts. She cur-
rently resides in Iowa City with her partner of over ten years and their three furry
companion animals.
xxiii
i
Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice.
—WILLIAM JENNINGS BRYAN
Opening the
Conversation
Knowledge Challenge:
• When was the term feminism first used?
• How many bras were burned in feminist protests in 1968?
• As a group, are heterosexual men happier in relationships with feminist or
nonfeminist women?
• What is at stake in how we think about gender?
Textbooks typically begin with a preview of chapters and features, but we
want to launch our conversation a bit differently. We think you’re entitled to
know something about the people behind the words you’ll be reading, so we
want to open the book by introducing ourselves and explaining why we
wrote Gendered Lives.
Most people regard books as impersonal sources of information. Like
anything that people create, however, books reflect the experiences,
identities, and historical context of the authors who write them. Authors
influence books when they decide which topics to include and which
theories to present. This doesn’t mean that books are not informative or
reliable, but it does mean that authors’ experiences and perspectives have
an impact on books. By telling you a little about who we are and why we
wrote this book, we are inviting you to think about how our backgrounds,
experiences, beliefs, and values have shaped the book you’re reading.
Let’s start with some simple demographic information. Julia is a European-
American, middle-aged, heterosexual, spiritually engaged, middle-class
woman who has been in a committed relationship with Robbie (Robert) Cox
for 44 years. Natalie is a white, thirty-something, queer, middle-class woman
in a committed relationship with her partner, Vanessa, for over ten years.
Yet, if you think about it, this information isn’t simple at all. It implies a
great deal about our identities and experiences. For instance, Julia became an
adult when the second wave of the U.S. Women’s Movement was ascending,
2 INTRODUCTION Opening the Conversation
and it influenced her personal life, political views, and perspective on gender
and culture. Natalie grew up in a culture that presented far greater
opportunities to girls and women than that of previous generations. But even
as feminism seemed to be part of the air she breathed, she also began to
notice how sexism and other forms of social and economic injustice remained
stubbornly intact.
The “simple” demographic information also shows that Julia and Natalie
are privileged by their race and economic class, which are approved by
mainstream Western culture. Yet they are disadvantaged by their sex,
because women continue to be valued less than men in Western culture.
Natalie suffers additional discrimination because her sexual orientation is not
favored by mainstream culture.
We did not earn the privileges conferred by our skin color and economic
class, nor did we earn the inequities that come with being female and, for
Natalie, being a lesbian. That is the nature of much privilege and inequity—
they are unearned. They do not reflect the achievements, efforts, or failings
of the individuals who enjoy or suffer them.
The Social Construction of Inequality

To speak of being privileged in some ways and disadvantaged in others does not
mean that these aspects of life are fixed in stone. The fact that being female makes
approximately half of the population vulnerable to job discrimination, violence,
and other injustices is not unchangeable. Nor is it immutable that some people’s
sexual orientation or race or economic class or gender identity makes them vulner-
able to inequity. In fact, one reason we wrote this book is because we believe soci-
ety can change, and each of us can be part of bringing change about.
To participate in changing society, we cannot limit ourselves to our personal
identities and experiences. We need to learn about the experiences, perspectives,
and circumstances of people in other social positions: the anger and hurt experi-
enced by transgender people in a society that defines them as abnormal; the resent-
ment felt by some heterosexual white men toward laws and policies that increase
rights and opportunities available to women and minorities; what it means to be a
person of color in a sea of whiteness; the sense of restriction many women feel
knowing they cannot venture out at night without risking assault; the frustration
felt by poor and working-class citizens whose needs and circumstances often are
not represented in legislation that claims to help everyone.
We can never fully understand the lives of people who differ from us, but can real-
ize that our feelings, identities, values, and perspectives are not everyone’s. Recogniz-
ing the limits of our own perspectives and experiences encourages us to learn from
people who have different perspectives and experiences. We do this by respecting
the specific conditions that shape their lives and by recognizing that only they can
Another random document with
no related content on Scribd:
The Project Gutenberg eBook of Brown leaves and
other verses
This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United
States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away
or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License
included with this ebook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you
are not located in the United States, you will have to check the
laws of the country where you are located before using this
eBook.
Title: Brown leaves and other verses
Author: Ella Stevens Harris
Release date: September 16, 2023 [eBook #71665]
Language: English
Original publication: Montclair: Altavista, 1912
Credits: Charlene Taylor, Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed

Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file
was produced from images generously made available
by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BROWN

LEAVES AND OTHER VERSES ***
Brown Leaves
AND
OTHER VERSES
BY ELLA STEVENS HARRIS
ALTAVISTA
16 ROCKLEDGE ROAD
MONTCLAIR
COPYRIGHT 1912 BY
ELLA STEVENS HARRIS
OSWALD PRESS, NEW YORK
ONE HUNDRED COPIES OF THIS BOOK

HAVE BEEN PRIVATELY PRINTED.
THIS COPY IS NUMBER 68

From time to time, for many years, some of these verses have appeared in
newspapers and periodicals. They are here collected at the request of
friends.
E. S. H.
TO E. P. H.
The language of the human heart,

Nor tongue nor pen may tell;
But other eyes look into ours,
And understand us well.
No gift is worthy, my Beloved,

Of what thou art to me;
But these frail children of my love,
I would bestow on thee.
The years will come, the years will go,

As poets oft have sung;
But Love is Life, and Life is Love,
And Love, is ever young!
CONTENTS
PAGE
Brown Leaves 3
To the Daisies 5
Absence 7
To Florence 9
Nature’s Influence 11
A Valentine 13
A Spring Reverie 15
To Her Dolly 19
My Prayer 21
Anniversary Ode 23
Our Heroes 25
A Call To Spring 27
Upper Air 29
Dreams 31
The Old Year and the New 33
Columbus 35
Lost Days 37
Mother’s Prayer 39
Expectation 41
The Silence of the Rosebud 43
Seed-time and Harvest 45
To a Blue-Fringed Gentian 47
A Fragment 49
My Christmas Wish 51
To a Rosebud 53
Trees 55
BROWN LEAVES
From the pipes of old Winter, has come a shrill blast,

And upon the gray earth a pure mantle is cast.
’Tis a garment of snow-flakes come down from the skies
And beneath it, in silence, the patient earth lies.
The moaning and rustling of dead leaves is past—

The comforter came, they are sheltered at last.
O, brown leaves of autumn! ’Tis a wise hand that leads,
And he sends what is best, who best knoweth our needs.
He gives and he takes, and in taking he gives:
From life cometh death, and in dying we live.
From mists of the river, the brooklet and sea
This beautiful shroud has been woven, and ye
Of its coming wist not, for from out the still air
It as silently fell as an answer to prayer.
O, could ye but creep from your coverlet white
And visit your home, a most wonderful sight
Would gladden your hearts, for the sun met the snow,
And the frost followed on with his cold breath, and lo!
Your home is a palace of crystal more bright
Than Aladdin beheld with his magical light.
Ye glow and ye fade—but as wondrous to me

Is the leaf on the ground as the leaf on the tree:
For links in time’s chain clasp eternity fast
And the chain becomes endless. Ever the past
Pays its debt to the future, leaf-life, or man’s,
So perfect the system that surely no hands
But of Infinite wisdom and love could be
The author of such an unerring decree.
Who knoweth the end? Little leaflets, not we!
Enough for ourselves, as we hang on life’s tree,
To gather the sunshine and freely bestow
O h d h df i b l
Our shade to the weary and faint ones below.
And when we grow brown, as, surely we must,
The end will be glorious can we but trust
That the Infinite love, which careth for all,
Forgets not the little brown leaves when they fall.
TO THE DAISIES
O Daisies, with your golden hearts

And petals white as snow,
Ye are, indeed, fond Summer’s eyes
O speak! for I would know
The secrets of this month of June
Of all months of the year,
And not one June of all my life
Was ever half so dear.
The secrets of this month of June

With your soft eyes declare:
What is it makes the roses bloom,
And beauty everywhere?
Is it the longing in the seed
That speaketh in the flower;
And is this longing satisfied
To breathe for one short hour,
And vanish? Nay: the hidden power,

In seed-life unto me
Seems deathless, as the human-soul,
Was, and will always be—
And what though on the silent air,
The perfume dies away
Of the June roses, and they fade—
Behold! shall any say,
However wise, that this is loss:
Alas! shall any deign
Deny, that Nature’s wondrous laws
May not restore again?
The waves roll in upon the shore,
Recede, and come again
And thirsty clouds drink in the floods,
T i h b k i i
To give them back, in rain.
O Daisies, when bright June is past,
And all your beauty fled;
If in my memory ye but live,
I dare not call ye dead,
For ye have led me to the fount
From whence all beauty springs,
Your silence filled my soul with awe,
And gave my spirit wings.
The self-same tint in morning’s glow
And in the crimson flush
Of the June roses, I behold
In timid maidens’ blush.
O Daisies, listen unto me,
My secret I impart—
Love’s sweetest flowers are all ablow;
’Tis June-time in my heart!
Go tell my secret to some bird,

The bob-o-link were best—
Tell him to ask his patient wife
To sit upon the nest;
And him unto my lover go,
And, as my minstrel sent,
Ask him to sing that song he sang
When he a-wooing went.
Thou think’st he might not find him?

It might be well to say,
My love, like light, will go before
To ’luminate the way.
ABSENCE
Thou art away and I am here.

The one that’s left is lonesome, dear.
I long to look into your face.

I long to-night for your embrace.
Like hopeless grief, the wind and rain

Beats at my darkened window pane.
There’ll come a time, my love, I know,

When one of us must surely go.
Beyond the call of voice or tear—

Which shall it be? I question, dear.
O, coward heart, find hope and rest—

Whatever comes to thee is best!
TO FLORENCE
(On Her Tenth Birthday.)
I am very sad and lonely, dear,

Do you care for what I say?
I once had a beautiful baby—
But now she has gone away.
To-day I went up to the garret,

And there in a chest I found
Little shirts, little shoes and stockings
And a dainty little gown.
Scarcely large enough for your dolly

Are the things she used to wear,—
Do you know where has gone my baby,
My baby—with soft, brown hair?
She was such a beautiful baby—

I had thought to keep her so,
But she slipped away with each passing day
And I did not see her go.
* * * * * * *
Then I had a child, as lovely
As my babe had seemed to me;
But she is gone and I gaze through tears
But her face I may not see.
I remember her childish prattle,

The wonderful things she’d say,
Her winsome smile and her merry laugh—
Now, why did she go away?
Her hair was soft as the thistle’s down,

But the sunshine lingered there
And wreathed such glory about her brow
As I never have seen elsewhere.
In the garret we put her high-chair,

And saved her rattle and ball,
But she never came back to claim them
And all in vain was my call.
* * * * * * *
“I will not go and leave you
As the others went away.”
Yes, I hear what you are saying, dear,
That you will be sure to stay.
* * * * * * *
It must be that I was dreaming
Of days that have passed away—
What is it, my own little daughter,
You are ten years old, to-day?
Yes, nestle up closer, my darling,

You have banished all my care,—
For you are my beautiful baby
And my child with the sunlit hair.
As I look in your soft, brown eyes, dear,

My baby’s face I see,
And I know not what to call you, now
Save my blessed trinity.
NATURE’S INFLUENCE
O, is there aught in this wide world more strange,

Or aught more wonderful in spheres unknown,
Than nature’s influence on human life?
We go into the open field or wood,
And she is there, and we are thrilled, and feel
An ecstacy which words cannot define—
A touch too delicate for human speech.
The robin’s song comes floating on the air,

And all his soul is in it—it is more
To me than grandest opera, for by it
Is ushered in the sweet arbutus bloom
And tulips gay and yellow daffodils.
I stray amid a field of daisy bloom—
That all-pervading Presence seems most nigh,
The atmosphere they breathe is full of cheer.
Who that has wandered with them, has not felt
His burdens lightened and his sorrows healed?
I know not why, but common flowers declare
Truth unto me when hot-house-cultured fail,
And yet, however reared, no bud could ope
But felt the Awakener’s touch of magic.
This do they teach. The same warm rays of sun

Fall on the nettle-plant, as fall upon
The sweet briar-rose, and the rain-laden cloud
Passes not by the meanest weed that grows.
And do not wayside flowers invite alike
The rich and humble? To possess is more
Than ownership. Who takes from harvest-field
Food for the inner life may richer be
Than he who fills his granary to the brim.
Jesus, who spake strong words for human needs
B k h lh f l dk
But spake what every soul has felt and known—
That life and body are of greater worth,
Than food and raiment.
Red’ning in the Spring

Each maple tree reveals that wondrous care
Which never slumbers. Throbbed our human hearts
In harmony with Nature’s, should we feel
It less, when dead leaves rustle ’neath our feet,
And winds of Autumn sing funereal dirge?
Why do men question of a future life?

The tiniest grass blades, springing from the sod,
Are bridges, whereupon with trusting feet
I can in safety cross the stream of doubt—
Wing of bird and cloud which floats above me,
Pebble and sea shell which the tide brings in,
Op’ning bud and tinted leaf of autumn,
Ye all are messengers unto my soul.
For ye are typical, and the revealers
Of the All-Beautiful, whom I adore!
A VALENTINE
(To E. P. H.)
A Valentine—Now if I might
But somehow tempt her to alight—
I mean my Muse—I’d try to say
Some word to cheer thy heart, to-day.
I know the meaning they attach
To Valentines: but then I’ll scratch
That off, and write, as to a friend—
’Tis fair, if so we comprehend.
How strange, that certain days and hours,
That certain trees and certain flowers,
Alone possess, as ’twere, a key
To certain rooms in memory.
When but a child, they used to say

That birds, like lovers, went away
In search of mates: and even now
I dimly can remember how
Their words I doubted, till one day
Our purple pigeon flew away,
Returned at night, and by his side
Fluttered his little snow-white bride.
And ne’er this day comes ’round to me
But flutters in my memory
The purple and the snow-white dove
Cooing their tender notes of love.
Some word to cheer thee, did I say?

Words—what are words? As helpless they
As blinded eyes to lead the feet
O’er tangled pathways, did they meet
Not some felt need or if they be

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INTRODUCTION Opening the Conversation 1

PART 1 CONCEPT UAL FO UND A TIONS

CHAPTER 1 The Study of Communication, Gender, and Culture 14

CHAPTER 2 Theoretical Approaches to Gender Development 35

CHAPTER 3 The Rhetorical Shaping of Gender: Competing Images

CHAPTER 4 The Rhetorical Shaping of Gender: Competing Images of Men 79

CHAPTER 5 Gendered Verbal Communication 101

CHAPTER 6 Gendered Nonverbal Communication 122

CHAPTER 7 Becoming Gendered 142

CHAPTER 8 Gendered Education: Communication in Schools 165

CHAPTER 9 Gendered Close Relationships 185

CHAPTER 10 Gendered Organizational Communication 208

CHAPTER 11 Gendered Media 233

CHAPTER 12 Gendered Power and Violence 255

INTRODUCTION Opening the Conversation 1

PART 1 CONCEPTUAL FOUNDATIONS

CHAPTER 1 The Study of Communication, Gender, and Culture 14

CHAPTER 2 Theoretical Approaches to Gender Development 35

CHAPTER 3 The Rhetorical Shaping of Gender: Competing

CHAPTER 4 The Rhetorical Shaping of Gender: Competing Images of Men 79

CHAPTER 5 Gendered Verbal Communication 101

The Point of the Story 119

CHAPTER 6 Gendered Nonverbal Communication 122

CHAPTER 7 Becoming Gendered 142

CHAPTER 8 Gendered Education: Communication in Schools 165

LGBTQ Students 172

CHAPTER 9 Gendered Close Relationships 185

CHAPTER 10 Gendered Organizational Communication 208

CHAPTER 11 Gendered Media 233

CHAPTER 12 Gendered Power and Violence 255

Changes in Gendered Lives,

Enhanced Coverage of Gendered Health Issues

Integrated Emphasis on Digital Media

Revised Coverage of Women’s and Men’s

Explicit Emphasis on Application

Pedagogical Features to Engage Students

Supplementary Resources for Students

Julia T. Wood is Lineberger Distinguished Professor of Humanities Emerita at the

The Social Construction of Inequality

Title: Brown leaves and other verses

Author: Ella Stevens Harris

Release date: September 16, 2023 [eBook #71665]

Original publication: Montclair: Altavista, 1912

Credits: Charlene Taylor, Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BROWN

OSWALD PRESS, NEW YORK

ONE HUNDRED COPIES OF THIS BOOK

THIS COPY IS NUMBER 68

The language of the human heart,