Why Can’t I Get Over This?

5 STEPS TO GET UNSTUCK IN THE AREAS YOU CAN’T SEEM TO MAKE PROGRESS IN

Hi, friend,
Chances are that if you’re reading this, in some way you feel stuck.

Maybe you’ve tried to make changes in an area of your life, but you just keep
ending up in the same place.

Maybe you’ve prayed about this one situation more times than you can count, but
you feel like you aren’t seeing any type of breakthrough.

Maybe you’ve been looking for guidance, but you don’t know where else to turn
for help to move forward.

No matter where you find yourself right now, we want you to know … you are not
alone. You are not a failure. Your desire for things to get better is enough to get
started.

Inside the pages of this resource, we want to challenge you to do a few things:
• Resist the temptation to shame yourself for what hasn’t worked yet. We are
all on a journey. Be proud of yourself for showing up and wanting to get better
today!
• Get honest. Really honest. Honest with yourself, maybe with a trusted friend
when necessary — and most importantly, with God. Disclosing the full truth is
the only way any of us will know how we can improve.
• Be hopeful that change is possible. Fight against any lie in your head telling
you that where you are, what you’re doing and how you are now is how you’ll
be forever. Because of Jesus Christ, change is possible!

OK, are you ready? Grab your favorite pen and maybe a notebook too. It’s time to
make some progress together!

We are for you and cheering you on,

THE PROVERBS 31 MINISTRIES TEAM

Copyright © 2024 by Proverbs 31 Ministries

 Step 1: Take inventory and practice self-reflection.

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there
is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way” (Psalm 139:23-24, CSB).

The first step to experiencing lasting change is to be honest with ourselves.

What currently isn’t working?

To get started, take a few moments alone with God. Now, think about the specific
area(s) where you are struggling to get unstuck. Tell God your frustrations. Ask
Him to show you what you need to see. Since He created you, He knows you bet-
ter than anyone does, even better than you know yourself. With His help and the
Holy Spirit’s guidance, you are closer to seeing change than you even realize!

As you spend time in prayer and reflection, we also want to give you a few ques-
tions to consider. For this next part, it may be helpful to have a journal or your
phone so you can take notes.

1. In what area(s) of your life are you struggling to get unstuck right now?
2. What kind of progress have you tried to make in the past? What barriers
did you bump up against?
3. What haven’t you tried before? What has been holding you back (fear, lim-
itations, time, etc.)?
4. What help do you need to make progress in this area?
5. Who do you need help from? This could include God, friends and family, or
even professionals in this field. (P.S. We’ll explore the importance of
community and accountability more in Step 4!)
6. Dream for a second. What would you like this area of your life to look like?
Who would you like to be?
• In one year …
• In three years …
• In five years …
• In 10 years …

Copyright © 2024 by Proverbs 31 Ministries

 Step 2: Choose a God-centered perspective.

“Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your
mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God”
(Romans 12:2, CSB).

Now that you have taken some time to identify the area(s) of your life that need
attention, the next step is to start believing that change is possible by adopting a
God-centered perspective.

Simply put, if you don’t believe things can get better, they probably won’t.

Yet we want to stop right here and say this: If you’ve been feeling down, discour-
aged or maybe even hopeless, like change is impossible, we understand. Those
feelings are valid, and we don’t want to deny their existence in any way.

However, we would like to remind you of what’s true, even as you feel what you
feel:
• You were created on purpose and for a purpose (Psalm 139).
• God has good plans in store for your life (Jeremiah 29:11; Romans 8:28).
• You are a child of God if you’ve placed your faith in Christ (1 John 3:1).
• You are led by the Holy Spirit (Romans 8:14; Galatians 5:18).
• You are more than a conqueror (Romans 8:31-39).

We’ll walk through how to actively take charge of our thoughts more in the next
step, but for now, think about these truths. Maybe even sit with why you resist be-
lieving them sometimes.

Now, here are some questions to get you started as you realign your perspective
with God’s:
1. What are some unhealthy views you’ve held about yourself and the struggle
you keep facing?
2. Look at the statements above about who God says you are. Which of these
are you hesitant to believe sometimes, and why?
3. Write a prayer asking God to give you His eternal perspective in your pres-
ent-day struggles.

You’re doing better than you think you are. Remember that perfection is not the
goal — progress is! With God’s help, you’re going to get unstuck.

Copyright © 2024 by Proverbs 31 Ministries

Step 3: Exchange the lies in your head for the truth of who God says you are.

“Finally, be strengthened by the Lord and by his vast strength. Put on the full armor
of God so that you can stand against the schemes of the devil” (Ephesians 6:10-11,
CSB).

Now that you’ve acknowledged what you want to change and asked God for His
perspective, there is a crucial tool we want to make sure you access in your tool
belt.

When you’re trying to make changes, the enemy is going to try to feed you lies.
These lies may be attacks on your identity, your purpose, your peace or your rela-
tionships, and they often sound something like:

Why can’t you just …

You’ll never be able to …
If you were only more like her …

But you know who you are and who God says you are (and if you forget, you can
look back up to Step 2). So you can ask the Lord to help you stop these accusa-
tions in their tracks and call them what they are … lies.

Revisit some of the unhealthy thoughts you wrote about in response to the re-
flection questions in Step 2. Then find verses that replace those lies with what
Scripture says is true. Some Bibles have concordances in the back that can help
you find verses on specific topics or phrases. You can also search for keywords on
biblegateway.com. (We promise there’s no shame in needing help to search!)

Here is an example …

Lie: I’m not strong enough to overcome this struggle or truly change this behavior.
Truth: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfect-
ed in weakness.’ Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weak-
nesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me. So I take pleasure in weaknesses,
insults, hardships, persecutions, and in difficulties, for the sake of Christ. For when I
am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10, CSB).

When we get into God’s Word, apply it to our situations, and commit it to memory,
it really does transform both our hearts and our actions. And the next time that
lie creeps back in or we are tempted to slip back into old patterns, we’ll be more
equipped to repeat truth to ourselves and make a better choice.

Copyright © 2024 by Proverbs 31 Ministries

 Step 4: Invite in accountability and Christian community.

“If we walk in the light as he himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one
another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin” (1 John 1:7, CSB).

When God created the world, He said it is not good for man to be alone (Gene-
sis 2:18). This wasn’t just about Eve being created for Adam: The principle to take
away here is that we all need other people!

It’s important to find trusted, godly accountability in your life. This doesn’t have to
happen in a large group; it can happen with one or two close friends who love
God and are committed to helping you grow and change.

Here are some biblical characteristics to help you consider who these people
could be:
• They encourage you (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
• They listen without judgment (James 4:12; John 7:24) and pray faithfully
(James 5:16).
• They seek God’s will (Philippians 2:13).
• They forgive you because God has forgiven them (Colossians 3:13).
• They offer patience and gentleness (James 1:19, Galatians 5:22-23).
• They help bring out the best version of you (Proverbs 27:17).

This isn’t just a list of what to value in a friend but a list we can also look to as we
strive to be this kind of friend for someone else.

Here are some questions to consider how the presence of community could help
you get unstuck:
• Who are some people in your life who consistently honor God and love you
through their love for Him?
• How could you go deeper in relationship with this person/these people?
Would you be willing to ask them to check in with you and see how things
are going in the areas you’re struggling with?
• Are there specific ways they could support you? What’s one way they
could hold you accountable?
• If you feel like you’re lacking Christian community or godly friendships
in this season, take a moment and ask God to either: 1) reveal someone
in your life that you currently know but could go deeper with or 2) bring
someone new into your life who could be a godly friend.

Copyright © 2024 by Proverbs 31 Ministries

 Step 5: Commit to prayer and rely on the power of the Holy Spirit.

In the same way the Spirit also helps us in our weakness, because we do not
know what to pray for as we should, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with
inexpressible groanings” (Romans 8:26, CSB).

Even though this is Step 5, this could arguably be the most important step of this
entire resource! Lean in here.

Ultimately, we cannot change based on our own willpower and strength. Thank-
fully, Jesus knew this. When He ascended back to heaven after His resurrection,
He promised us a Helper in the Holy Spirit (John 15:26). He knew we would need
power outside of ourselves to pursue godliness and growth. This is such a gift.

As you repeatedly turn to the steps we’ve listed out in this resource, make sure
you’re also remembering it’s not all up to you. And remember that progress doesn’t
happen overnight — but through prayer and a surrendered heart, we can rely on
the Holy Spirit to transform us.

When you get discouraged by a lack of progress or maybe even a setback you’ve
hit, cling to this: Having to face a struggle we cannot fix on our own is not some-
thing to feel defeated by but rather a sign of our dependence on God alone. And
He is waiting with open arms for us to come to Him for help.

Let’s end with a prayer of surrender …

Heavenly Father,

You know the areas I’m longing to see change in. I don’t want to stay here … stuck,
stagnant or trapped in patterns that hold me back from being the best version of
myself — living on purpose for You.

Help me put into practice the steps I’ve walked through in these pages: reflect-
ing, choosing Your perspective, replacing lies with Truth, planting myself in godly
friendships and inviting in accountability, and relying on the Holy Spirit to bring
about the lasting change I long to experience.

Thank You for loving me through this journey I’m on.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

Copyright © 2024 by Proverbs 31 Ministries