The Fire Bed of Separation

From the Heart Service Will Appear

Saturday, January 18, 2003

Sri Chaitanya Saraswata Krishnanushilana Sangha
Kolkata, India

Srila Govinda Maharaja in a deep mood of separation. Speaking slowly, movingly, cautiously, initially on
the subject of retirement and why there is no retirement from the plane of Krishna consciousness.
Continued resonance with The Hollow Men.

After his so-called retirement Sri Krishna Chaitanya Mahaprabhu was in the deepest mood of separation
for twelve years in the Gambhira, his room in Jagannath Puri, in the company of Swarup Damodar and
Ramananda Raya. Srila Sridhar Maharaja writes in his Prema Dhama Deva Stotram:

sri svarupa raya sanga gambhirantya-lilanam

dvadasavdha banhi garbha vipralambha silanam
radhikadhirudha bhava kanti krsna kuñjaram
prema dhama devam eva naumi gaurasundaram

Srila Guru Maharaja describes "a fire bed." And what kind of fire it is, we can notice within the poetry of
Madhavendra Puri's sick bed sloka. Madhavendra Puri was on his disappearance bed. At that time also
this service sloka come from his lotus mouth. In Chaitanya Charitamrta it is written: "This sloka is spoken
by Radha Thakurani. By her mercy it appeared in the heart and words of Madhavendra. How Mahaprabhu
savored this poetry! There isn't a fourth man who can taste it."

"There isn't a fourth man who can taste it." A very strong comment: Radharani herself entered the fire bed
of separation and this sloka came out of her. And Madhavendra Puri, at the time of his disappearance, got
that mercy. What kind of mercy? You see, the deep separation mood from Krishna is making one mad,
but not fully become mad. After that, what position will come when one still has not got Krishna? That is
deep separation and hopelessness. Hopeless deep separation (tanra krpaya sphuriyache madhavendra-
vani).

No hope. When we see that we have no hope for our Krishna consciousness, at that time deep separation
will come to the heart and from that happiness will come out. "I am thinking there is no hope — what
shall I do now (dayita bhramyati kim karomy aham)?" In explaining this verse, Srila Guru Maharaja
expressed the deepest feelings we have ever heard, but I do not want to say what they are. It will be too
much. Anyhow…

Radharani, Madhavendra, Gaurachandra — but no fourth man. But there was Nityananda Prabhu and
other very exclusive devotees. At least four were constantly with Mahaprabhu... what was I talking about
originally?

You were speaking about retirement in relation to Krishna consciousness.

Oh, retirement! Yes. Service is not only or always physical. It is not something that can always be
physically observed. Service is not always physically or even mentally performed. But who is fully
dedicated, from his heart, service will appear.

And there is no retirement, from the biggest devotee to the smallest — everywhere — the service world is
like that sevamaya bhumika (the land of dedication). When describing Seva Bhumi (the land of service),
or anything spiritual, it is always necessary to use the word cinmaya (transcendental) to make it clear that
we are speaking of a divine connection with the transcendental plane. All the actions of those living in the
transcendental plane are for the service of Krishna: eating, sleeping, working. Anything done will be
service, if one is living within the transcendental plane of dedication. Everything will be service there.
And Mahaprabhu says that the best service is sravan, kirtan (talking about Krishna).

prabhu kahe——age kaha, sunite pai sukhe

apurvamrta-nadi vahe tomara mukhe

When Raya Ramananda was explaining the pastimes of Radha Krishna, Mahaprabhu said, "Tell me more
and more — again and again. I am feeling too much happiness. It is a nectarean ocean!"

In our idea an ocean is something salty. But talk of Krishna and his pastimes is an ocean of nectar. The
scriptures also say we are, in fact, all children of the nectar ocean (srnvantu visve amrtasya putra). So
there should not be any bad taste because our original wealth is nectar, but covered by illusion, everything
has become bad. So it is necessary to come out from illusion.

What ocean was churned by the gods and the demons? It was a milk ocean (keer — condensed milk).
And from that ocean appeared the Moon, Lakshmi Devi, Airavata (Indra's celestial elephant) and the
Divine Cow — Surabhi. As the moon rose out of the ocean of nectar, Krishna rose out of the family of
Nanda Maharaja (nanda-kula-candra). Rupa Goswami's sloka in this regard is very nice: kva nanda
kulacandra. Chandraka is also related with the peacock:

alola-candraka-lasad-vanamalya-vamsi-
ratnangadam pranaya-keli-kala-vilasam
syamam tri-bhanga-lalitam niyata-prakasm
govindam adi-purusam tam aham bhajami

[Delighting in pastimes of Divine Love, wearing a garland of Vrindavan flowers, a peacock-feather locket
dangles as his jeweled hands play the flute. He eternally manifests an exquisite sinuous form of divine
dark beauty (Shyamasundar): Govinda, the Original Person, I adore.]

Rupa Goswami's poetry expresses so beautifully the mood of separation from within the heart of
Radharani:

kva nanda-kula-candramah kva sikhi-candrakalankrtih

kva mandra-murali-ravah kva nu surendra-nila-dyutih
kva rasa-rasa-tandavi kva sakhi jiva-raksausadhir
nidhir mama suhrttamah kva tava hanta ha dhig vidhih

[Where is the moon risen from the family of Nanda? Where is the one who wears the peacock feather?
Where is the deep sound of his flute? Where is my shining blue sapphire? Where is the rasa of the Rasa
Dance? Where, my friend, is the cure for the suffering that has become my life? Where is the best friend
of my heart? Tell me where? Without him, I curse the life that I am destined to live!]
— Lalita Madhava, Rupa Goswami

There are many slokas we have seen expressing the mood of separation of Radharani or other devotees
but none are like…

ayi dina-dayardra natha he

mathura-natha kadavalokyase
hrdayam tvad-aloka-kataram

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dayita bhramyati kim karomy aham

Srila Gurudeva, this sloka from Chaitanya Charitamrita is very difficult for us to understand because it
appears superficially to be so simple.

In Chaitanya Charitamrita it is revealed by Krishna himself that the chastisement of his beloved steals his
mind away from the prayers of the Vedas (priya yadi mana kari' karaye bhartsana, veda-stuti haite hare
sei mora mana). Actually everything is related with this sloka (ayi dina dayardra natha). One day it will
be revealed, and we will be able to understand the meaning. That is good. But it is true although Kaviraja
Goswami himself knows the inner meaning he does not claim, "I know." Who knows will never claim, "I
know the meaning of that sloka."And that is the difficulty. Actually it is not a question of knowing or
unknowing, or what is known or unknown. It is a matter of life and death!

ka-i-avarahi-am pemmam na hi hoi manuse loe

ja-i hoi kassa virahe hontammi ko jia-i

[Other than the false display of cheaters, real prema can't be found in a human being in this world. For
one who actually has prema, separation results in death (pralapo vyadhir unmado, moho mrtyur dasa
dasa).]

akaitava krsna-prema, yena jambunada-hema,

sei prema nrloke na haya
yadi haya tara yoga, na haya tabe viyoga,
viyoga haile keha na jiyaya

["Like the gold of heaven, Krishna prema does not exist on earth. In human society it is only shown by
pretenders. Who really has love for Krishna, cannot live without it for a moment. Separation is not an
option, it is an impossibility."]

But Mahaprabhu was submerged in the depths of Radha Bhava in his boiler room (Gambhira) twenty-four
hours a day the last twelve years of his life (dvadasavdha banhi garbha vipralambha silanam). Those who
have Krishna prema cannot live without it, but Mahaprabhu was living in a fire bed of Krishna prema for
twelve years! This is inconceivable.

This condition gradually manifested and intensified as Mahaprabhu's Lila progressed. Advaita Acharya
had originally requested Krishna, as Mahaprabhu, to descend into this world to save the fallen souls.
Mahaprabhu received news from Advaita Acharya through a mystic poem that this desire was fulfilled
and now Mahaprabhu may, as he likes, fulfill his own inner purpose (sri-radhayah pranaya-mahima
kidrso vanayaiva).

Advaita Acharya's Poetry of Madness:

baulake kahiha,——loka ha-ila baula

baulake kahiha,——hate na vikaya caula
baulake kahiha,——kaye nahika aula
baulake kahiha,——iha kahiyache baula"

Tell whom is mad — everyone is mad,

Tell whom is mad — rice retail is bad,
Tell whom is mad — mad market is bad,
Tell whom is mad — who speaks is mad!"

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When offered one or two sweets (sandesh) much joy will come to the heart. We will take that sandesh
happily. But when surrounded by thousands and thousands of pieces of sandesh we will lose all interest in
eating. The meaning of the third line baulake kahiha,——kaye nahika aula: what he wants to give, the
divine madness of Krishna prema, is already given abundantly — not necessary to give more. We have
been engulfed in an ocean of nectarean sweetness. If surrounded by thousands of pieces of nectarean
sandesh, then no one will buy, nor will anyone eat. Mahaprabhu inundated the world with Krishna prema
through his nama sankirtan and then entered into the fire bed of separation.

Before his final pastimes (Antya Lila) Mahaprabhu was also within the fire bed of separation but
sometimes coming out — coming and going, coming and going. But when he got news from Advaita
Acharya, "More is not necessary," then he fulfilled his own desire and began exclusively tasting the deep
separation mood of Radharani twenty-four hours a day for the last twelve years of his life (radha-bhava,
dvadasa vatsara aiche dasa——ratri-dine, krsna-rasa asvadaye dui-bandhu-sane).

Advaita Acharya did not tell Mahaprabhu directly to withdraw his nama sankirtan pastimes but spoke
cryptically. When asked, Mahaprabhu said Swarup Damodar knows the meaning of "Advaita's mad
poem." But Swarup Damodar was in a hazy position and deferred to Mahaprabhu, "What is the meaning
of this?" He knows everything, but to be doubly sure he asked Mahaprabhu's opinion. Mahaprabhu
answered enigmatically, suggesting that Advaita Acharya is a tantric and he alone knows why he
contracts a Deity and then dismisses him. Mahaprabhu said, "Maybe this is the meaning, I do not know."
But Mahaprabhu knows, Swarup Damodar knows, and from that day, Mahaprabhu's emotional state
changed dramatically; His feelings of separation from Krishna began doubling exponentially in intensity
and magnitude.

Guru Maharaja composed the slokas of Prema Dhama Deva Stotram not in one or two days, but in deep
meditation, gradually, year after year. First Guru Maharaja composed twelve slokas. He then extended
that — extended, extended, extended… In this way, he gradually included the entire pastimes of
Mahaprabhu (Gaura Lila). When Srila Bhakti Prajñan Keshava Maharaja heard this composition he said,
"Impossible! No one can compete with Sridhar Maharaja." He marvelled how Srila Guru Maharaja
"included within his poetry Mahaprabhu's philosophy of acintya-bhedabheda siddhanta."

We first published twelve slokas in Gaudiya Darshan. So first it was twelve slokas and then it become
more, then more, then more, finally it became seventy. Srila Guru Maharaja put the whole Gaura Lila
inside. That idea came to Srila Guru Maharaja. Within the Prema Dhama Deva Stotram he fully
represented the pastimes and personality of Mahaprabhu including the "fire bed" of separation that
characterized the last twelve years of his divine pastimes.

If one has not read Chaitanya Charitamrta, Chaitanya Bhagwat, Chaitanya Mangal, Swarup Damodar's
Kadacha [notes], Murari Gupta's Kadacha, there is no problem, one can simply read Prema Dhama Deva
Stotram and get everything.

After thus fully glorifying Srila Guru Maharaja, Srila Govinda Maharaja re-entered his deep mood of
separation and began singing:

jaya jaya sundara nanda kumara...

abhinava kutmala guccha samujjvala

kuñcita kuntala bhara,
pranayi anerita vandana sahakrta
curnita vara ghanasara...

— From the Gitavali in the Stavamala of Rupa Goswami.