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PRINCIPLES OF
BUSINESS
INFORMATION
SYSTEMS
THIRD
EDITION

RALPH STAIR, GEORGE REYNOLDS


AND THOMAS CHESNEY

Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. WCN 02-300
PRINCIPLES OF
BUSINESS
INFORMATION
SYSTEMS
THIRD
EDITION

RALPH STAIR,
GEORGE REYNOLDS
AND THOMAS CHESNEY

Australia • Brazil • Mexico • Singapore • United Kingdom • United States

Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. WCN 02-300
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For Tahseena

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Brief Contents

1 Overview 1
1 An Introduction to Information Systems 3
2 Information Systems in Organizations 33

2 Information Technology Concepts 63


3 Hardware: Input, Processing, Output and Storage Devices 65
4 Software: Systems and Application Software 115
5 Organizing and Storing Data 157
6 Computer Networks 187

3 Business Information Systems 231


7 Operational Systems 233
8 Management Information and Decision Support Systems 265
9 Knowledge Management and Specialized Information Systems 305
10 Pervasive Computing 335

4 Systems Development 365


11 Systems Analysis 367
12 Systems Design and Implementation 409

5 Information Systems in Business and Society 447


13 Security, Privacy and Ethical Issues in Information Systems 449

iv Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. WCN 02-300
Contents

Preface xiii Systems Development 19


Approach of the Text xiii Systems Investigation and Analysis 20
Goals of this Text xiv Systems Design, Implementation, and
Changes to the Second Edition xvii Maintenance and Review 20
Structure of the Text xix Information Systems in Society, Business
About the Authors xxi and Industry 21
Acknowledgements xxi Ethical and Societal Issues: Robots on the
Digital Resources Page xxii Loose! 21
Security, Privacy and Ethical Issues in
Information Systems and the Internet 22
Computer and Information Systems
Literacy 23

1 Overview 1 Information Systems in the Functional Areas


of Business 24
Information Systems in Industry 24
Global Challenges in Information Systems 24
Summary 26
1 An Introduction to Information Self-Assessment Test 28
Systems 3 Review Questions 28
Principles 3 Discussion Questions 28
Learning Objectives 3 Web Exercises 28
Why Learn About Information Systems? 4 Case One: When Online Surveys Go Awry 29
Case Two: Health Information Systems in South
What is an Information System? 4
Africa 30
What is a System? 4
Case Three: Australian Drones Join The Postal
What is Information? 6
Service 31
What is an Information System? 6
Notes 32
The Characteristics of Valuable Information 7
Manual and Computerized Information
Systems 8
2 Information Systems
Business Information Systems 12
in Organizations 33
Information Systems @ Work: Translating
Shakespeare into Dothraki 12 Principles 33
Enterprise Systems: Transaction Processing Learning Objectives 33
Systems and Enterprise Resource Why Learn About Information Systems
Planning 13 in Organizations? 34
MIS and DSS 16 An Introduction to Organizations 34
Knowledge Management, Artificial Intelligence, Organizational Structures 36
Expert Systems and Virtual Reality 17 Organizational Change 39

Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. WCN 02-300
Ethical and Societal Issues: Customers Computer Systems: Integrating the Power
Out of Pocket After Direct Transfer Error 41 of Technology 66
Reengineering and Continuous Improvement 43 Hardware Components 67
User Satisfaction and Technology Hardware Components in Action 68
Acceptance 44 Processing and Memory Devices: Power,
Information Systems @ Work: Neto Helps Speed and Capacity 68
Australian Small Businesses Get Online 45 Processing Characteristics and Functions 69
The Applications Portfolio 46 Memory Characteristics and Functions 70
Success Factors 47 Multiprocessing 72
Competitive Advantage 48 Parallel Computing 73
Factors That Lead Firms to Seek Competitive Secondary Storage 74
Advantage 48 Access Methods 75
Evaluating IS 49 Secondary Storage Devices 75
Productivity 49 Enterprise Storage Options 78
Return on Investment and the Value Input and Output Devices: The Gateway
of Information Systems 50 to Computer Systems 81
Careers in Information Systems 51 Characteristics and Functionality 81
Operations 51 Input Devices 82
Systems Development 51 Output Devices 87
Support 52 Computer System Types 91
Information Service Units 53 Portable Computers 93
Typical IS Titles and Functions 53 Nonportable Single-User Computers 95
Summary 54 Multiple-User Computer Systems 96
Self-Assessment Test 56 Information Systems @ Work: Printers Arrive
Review Questions 56 in the Operating Theatre 97
Discussion Questions 56
Green Computing 101
Web Exercises 56
Ethical and Societal Issues: Mobile
Case One: Cloud Computing and Social Media
Technology Fighting Human Trafficking 103
Make Nail Polish Success 57
Summary 104
Case Two: Can You Solve It? 58
Self-Assessment Test 105
Case Three: Raining Wine from the Cloud 60
Review Questions 106
Notes 60
Discussion Questions 106
World Views Case: ABAZONG Training and
Web Exercises 106
Consulting (Pty) Ltd Helps Organizations and
Case One: Moore’s Law About to Be Overturned
Users With Information Security Consultation
106
and Training Awareness 61
Case Two: Sen.Se is Helping to Create the
Internet of Things 108
Case Three: The €30 computer 109
Notes 110
Information
2 Technology 4 Software: Systems and Application
Concepts 63 Software 115
Principles 115
Learning Objectives 115
3 Hardware: Input, Processing, Output Why Learn about Systems and Application
and Storage Devices 65 Software? 116
Principles 65 An Overview of Software 116
Learning Objectives 65 Systems Software 116
Why Learn About Hardware? 66 Application Software 117

Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. WCN 02-300
Supporting Individual, Group and Relationships Between Tables 160
Organizational Goals 117 Designing Relational Databases 161
Systems Software 118 Database Management Systems 165
Operating Systems 118 Creating and Modifying the Database 165
Current Operating Systems 122 Storing and Retrieving Data 166
Information Systems @ Work: Privacy for Manipulating Data and Generating Reports 167
Everyone, Everywhere 123 Database Administration 168
Workgroup Operating Systems 125 Selecting a Database Management System 169
Enterprise Operating Systems 126 Using Databases with Other Software 169
Operating Systems for Small Computers, Database Applications 170
Embedded Computers and Special- Linking Databases to the Internet 170
Purpose Devices 126 Big Data Applications 170
Utility Programs 127 Data Warehouses 171
Middleware 129 Ethical and Societal Issues: Three Words
Application Software 129 and a Few Symbols Cost a Business
Overview of Application Software 129 €40m 172
Personal Application Software 131 Data Mining 173
Mobile Application Software 135 Business Intelligence 174
Workgroup Application Software 136 Information Systems @ Work: The IBM
Enterprise Application Software 137 Quantum Experience 175
Application Software for Information, Decision Distributed Databases 177
Support and Competitive Advantage 138 Online Analytical Processing (OLAP) 178
Programming Languages 138 Visual, Audio and Other Database Systems 179
Ethical and Societal Issues: Adblockers: Summary 180
Salvation for Web Users Or a High-Tech Self-Assessment Test 181
Protection Racket? 139 Review Questions 181
The Evolution of Programming Languages 140 Discussion Questions 181
Visual, Object-Oriented and Artificial Web Exercises 181
Intelligence Languages 140 Case One: Just Tell Me My Password
Already! 182
Software Issues and Trends 142
Case Two: Reading Every Book That’s Ever Been
Software Bugs 142
Written 183
Copyrights and Licences 143
Case Three: Life Is Short. Protect Your Data 184
Freeware and Open-Source Software 143
Notes 185
Software Upgrades 145
Global Software Support 146
Summary 146 6 Computer Networks 187
Self-Assessment Test 148 Principles 187
Review Questions 149 Learning Objectives 187
Discussion Questions 149 Why Learn About Computer Networks? 188
Web Exercises 149 Telecommunications 188
Case One: Software Cuts Legal Costs 149 Channel Bandwidth 189
Case Two: Ready. Steady. Go! 151 Guided Transmission Media Types 189
Case Three: Software Error Dooms Wireless Transmission Media Types 192
Spacecraft 152 Telecommunications Hardware 195
Notes 153
Networks and Distributed Processing 197
Network Types 197
5 Organizing and Storing Data 157 Ethical and Societal Issues: The Great British
Principles 157 Data Grab 199
Learning Objectives 157 Distributed Processing 202
Why Learn About Organizing Data? 158 Client/Server Systems 203
Data Management and Data Modelling 158 Communications Software 204
Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. WCN 02-300
Securing Data Transmission 206 Information Systems @ Work: Fast Food
Virtual Private Network (VPN) 207 Chain Yonghe King Upgrades Their
The Internet 208 POS 244
How the Internet Works 209 Traditional Transaction Processing
Internet Applications 211 Applications 245
The World Wide Web 212 Order Processing Systems 245
Information Systems @ Work: Tech Firms Purchasing Systems 247
Plan the Highest Capacity Atlantic Data Accounting Systems 248
Link 214 Electronic and Mobile Commerce 248
Email 218 Electronic Commerce 248
Telnet and FTP 219 Mobile Commerce 251
Cloud Computing 219 Ethical and Societal Issues: Tracking Staff
Intranets and Extranets 219 Beyond the Workplace 251
Summary 220 Production and Supply Chain
Self-Assessment Test 223 Management 253
Review Questions 223 Customer Relationship Management and
Discussion Questions 223 Sales Ordering 254
Web Exercises 223
Financial and Managerial Accounting 255
Case One: Instant Messaging Is Easier To
Hosted Software Model for Enterprise
Secure Than Email 224
Software 256
Case Two: Anatomy Of A Hack 225
Case Three: Digital Cartography Gets It International Issues Associated with
Wrong 226 Operational Systems 256
Notes 227 Different Languages and Cultures 257
World Views Case: IT Purchase Decisions – Disparities in Information System
What Should You Buy? 229 Infrastructure 257
Varying Laws and Customs Rules 257
Multiple Currencies 257
Summary 258
Self-Assessment Test 259
Business Review Questions 259
3 Information Discussion Questions 260
Web Exercises 260
Systems 231 Case One: Non-Linear Presentations 260
Case Two: When Stock Becomes a Liability 262
Case Three: Netflix Analytics Creates Content
7 Operational Systems 233 That We’ll Watch 263
Notes 264
Principles 233
Learning Objectives 233
Why Learn About 8 Management Information and
Operational Systems? 234 Decision Support Systems 265
Introduction 234 Principles 265
Enterprise Resource Planning 235 Learning Objectives 265
Advantages of ERP Systems 235 Why Learn About Management
Disadvantages of ERP Systems 237 Information Systems and Decision Support
ERP for Small- and Medium-Sized Systems? 266
Enterprises (SMEs) 238 Decision Making and Problem Solving 266
Transaction Processing Systems 238 Programmed versus Non-Programmed
Traditional Transaction Processing Methods Decisions 267
and Objectives 239 Optimization, Satisficing and Heuristic
Transaction Processing Activities 241 Approaches 268

Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. WCN 02-300
Sense and Respond 268 Knowledge Management Systems 306
Big Data 269 Overview of Knowledge Management
An Overview of Management Information Systems 306
Systems 269 Obtaining, Storing, Sharing and Using
Inputs to a Management Information System 269 Knowledge 307
Outputs of a Management Information Technology to Support Knowledge
System 270 Management 308
Characteristics of a Management Artificial Intelligence 309
Information System 273 The Nature of Intelligence 309
Functional MIS 274 The Difference Between Natural and Artificial
Financial Management Information Systems 275 Intelligence 311
Manufacturing Management Information Information Systems @ Work: Playing with
Systems 277 Atoms 312
Marketing Management Information Systems 280 The Major Branches of Artificial
Human Resource Management Information Intelligence 312
Systems 282 Ethical and Societal Issues: Augmented
Geographic Information Systems 284 Reality’s Killer App 317
Decision Support Systems 284 Expert Systems 318
Characteristics of a Decision Support When to Use Expert Systems 318
System 285 Components of Expert Systems 319
Capabilities of a Decision Support System 286 Virtual Reality 325
A Comparison of a DSS and an MIS 287 Interface Devices 325
Components of a Decision Support System 287 Forms of Virtual Reality 326
Information Systems @ Work: Non-Linear Virtual Reality Applications 326
What-If Analysis in OpenOffice 288 Summary 327
Group Support Systems 291 Self-Assessment Test 328
Ethical and Societal Issues: Online Divorce Review Questions 329
Form Error ‘Could Have Led to Unfair Discussion Questions 329
Settlements’ 292 Web Exercises 329
Characteristics of a GSS that Enhance Case One: A ‘Soft’ Octopus Robot 329
Decision Making 293 Case Two: 360° Video Makes Virtual Reality
Accessible 331
Executive Support Systems 294
Case Three: Game-Show-Winning AI Now
Capabilities of Executive Support Systems 295
Diagnoses Rare Diseases 332
Summary 296
Notes 333
Self-Assessment Test 298
Review Questions 298
Discussion Questions 299
10 Pervasive Computing 335
Web Exercises 299 Principles 335
Case One: Smart Meters Capture Big Data For Learning Objectives 335
Energy Decisions 299 Why Learn About Pervasive Computing? 336
Case Two: Taking Designs into the Next Introduction 336
Dimension 300
Wireless Internet Access 337
Case Three: Computer Games as Decision
Tools 301 Mobile Devices 337
Notes 303 Smartphone 338
Wearable Technology 339
Ethical and Societal Issues: Pay Up Or Your
9 Knowledge Management and
Data Gets It! 340
Specialized Information Systems 305
Information Systems @ Work: The
Principles 305 Blockchain Creates Tamper-Proof
Learning Objectives 305 Transactions 342
Why Learn About Knowledge Management and E-Money 343
Specialized Information Systems? 306 Tangible
Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, Media
or duplicated, 344or in part. WCN 02-300
in whole
Personal Robotics 345 Establishing Objectives for Systems
Virtual Pets 346 Development 372
Computer Supported Cooperative Work 346 Systems Development Lifecycles 374
Videoconferencing 347 The Traditional Systems Development
Messaging 347 Lifecycle 374
Interactive Whiteboards 347 Prototyping 376
Wikis 348 Information Systems @ Work: Open Source
MMOGs 348 Software Conquers Data Science 378
Blogs and Podcasts 349 Rapid Application Development, Agile
More Applications of Electronic and Mobile Development, Joint Application
Commerce 350 Development and Other Systems
Retail and Wholesale 350 Development Approaches 379
Manufacturing 350 The End-User Systems Development
Marketing 352 Lifecycle 380
Investment and Finance 353 Outsourcing and On-Demand Computing 380
Auctions 353 Factors Affecting System Development
Anywhere, Anytime Applications of Mobile Success 381
Commerce 353 Involvement 381
Advantages of Electronic and Mobile Degree of Change 382
Commerce 354 Managing Change 382
Summary 355 Quality and Standards 383
Self-Assessment Test 356 Use of Project Management Tools 384
Review Questions 356 Use of Computer-Aided Software Engineering
Discussion Questions 357 (CASE) Tools 386
Web Exercises 357 Systems Investigation 387
Case One: Someone to Share a Journey Initiating Systems Investigation 387
With 357 Participants in Systems Investigation 388
Case Two: Kids Finally Get a Real Magic Wand at Feasibility Analysis 388
Disney 358 The Systems Investigation Report 389
Case Three: Let’s Play and Become Famous 359 Ethical and Societal Issues: The Very Last
Notes 360 Step in Systems Development 390
World Views Case: Information Systems at
Systems Analysis 391
Damelin, South Africa 362
General Considerations 391
Participants in Systems Analysis 391
Data Collection and Analysis 392
Requirements Analysis 397
Critical Success Factors 397
4 Systems
Development 365
The IS Plan 397
Screen and Report Layout 398
Requirements Analysis Tools 399
Object-Oriented Systems Analysis 399
The Systems Analysis Report 399
Summary 400
11 Systems Analysis 367
Self-Assessment Test 403
Principles 367 Review Questions 403
Learning Objectives 367 Discussion Questions 404
Why Learn About Systems Analysis? 368 Web Exercises 404
An Overview of Systems Development 368 Case One: Hackathon Culture 404
Participants in Systems Development 368 Case Two: Failover from Amazon 405
Information Systems Planning and Aligning Case Three: The Internet of Bananas 1.0 406
Organization and IS Goals 370 Notes 408

Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. WCN 02-300
12 Systems Design and Case Two: Build Your Own Robot 441
Implementation 409 Case Three: GitHub 442
Notes 443
Principles 409
World Views Case: Systems Development at
Learning Objectives 409
Damelin, South Africa 445
Why Learn About Systems Design
and Implementation? 410
Systems Design 410
Interface Design and Controls 411 Information
Design of System Security and Controls 412 Systems in
Generating Systems Design Alternatives 415
Freezing Design Specifications 420
5 Business and
The Contract 420 Society 447
The Design Report 420
Information Systems @ Work: Creating
Computer Games Without Needing to 13 Security, Privacy and Ethical Issues
Program 421
in Information Systems 449
Systems Implementation 422
Principles 449
Acquiring Hardware from an IS Vendor 423
Learning Objectives 449
Acquiring Software: Make or Buy? 423
Why Learn About Security, Privacy and Ethical
Acquiring Database and Telecommunications
Issues in Information Systems? 450
Systems 426
User Preparation 426 Computer Waste and Mistakes 450
IS Personnel: Hiring and Training 426 Preventing Computer-Related Waste
Site Preparation 427 and Mistakes 451
Data Preparation 427 Information Systems @ Work: Admiral to
Installation 427 Price Car Insurance Based on Facebook
Testing 427 Posts 453
Ethical and Societal Issues: Modelling a Computer Crime 454
Mass Shooting 428 Preventing Computer-Related Crime 460
Start-Up 429 Crime Prevention by the State 460
User Acceptance 430 Crime Prevention by Organizations 461
Systems Operation and Maintenance 431 Crime Prevention by Individuals 463
Reasons for Maintenance 431 Using Intrusion Detection Software 463
Types of Maintenance 432 Using Managed Security Service Providers
The Request for Maintenance Form 432 (MSSPs) 464
Performing Maintenance 433 Preventing Crime on the Internet 464
The Financial Implications of Maintenance 433 Privacy 465
The Relationship Between Maintenance and Privacy and the Government 465
Design 433 Privacy at Work 465
Systems Review 434 Email Privacy 465
Types of Review Procedures 434 Privacy and the Internet 466
Factors to Consider During Systems Review 435 Fairness in Information Use 467
System Performance Measurement 436 Individual Efforts to Protect Privacy 468
Summary 436 The Work Environment 469
Self-Assessment Test 438 Health Concerns 469
Review Questions 439 Avoiding Health and Environmental
Discussion Questions 439 Problems 470
Web Exercises 439 Ethical and Societal Issues: Kettle Botnet
Case One: Open Source Project Aims to Create Heats Up 471
Artificial Life 440 Ethical Issues in Information Systems 472

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Summary 473 World Views Case: Facebook: A Platform
Self-Assessment Test 474 for Cyberbullying, and Cyber Racism
Review Questions 475 or Not? 481
Discussion Questions 475
Web Exercises 475
Answers to Self-Assessment Tests 483
Case One: Open Access Pirates 475
Glossary 487
Case Two: The Encryption Row Is Back 476
Index 499
Case Three: On Patrol With the Love Police 478
Credits 505
Notes 479

Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. WCN 02-300
Preface

As organizations continue to operate in an increasingly competitive and global


marketplace, workers in all areas of business including accounting, finance, human
resources, marketing, operations management and production must be well pre-
pared to make the significant contributions required for success. Regardless of your future role,
you will need to understand what information systems can and cannot do and be able to use
them to help you accomplish your work. You will be expected to discover opportunities to use
information systems and to participate in the design of solutions to business problems employ-
ing information systems. You will be challenged to identify and evaluate information systems
options. To be successful, you must be able to view information systems from the perspective
of business and organizational needs. For your solutions to be accepted, you must recognize
and address their impact on fellow workers, customers, suppliers and other key business part-
ners. For these reasons, a course in information systems is essential for students in today’s
high-tech world.
The primary objective of Principles of Business Information Systems third edition is to provide
the best information systems text and accompanying materials for the first information technol-
ogy course required of all business students. We want you to learn to use information technol-
ogy to ensure your personal success in your current or future job and to improve the success of
your organization. Principles of Business Information Systems stands proudly at the beginning
of the information systems (IS) curriculum and remains unchallenged in its position as the only
IS principles text offering the basic IS concepts that every business student must learn to be
successful.
This text has been written specifically for the introductory course in the IS curriculum. Princi-
ples of Business Information Systems treats the appropriate computer and IS concepts together
with a strong managerial emphasis on meeting business and organizational needs.

Approach of the Text


Principles of Business Information Systems offers the traditional coverage of computer con-
cepts, but it places the material within the context of meeting business and organizational
needs. Placing IS concepts in this context and taking a general management perspective sets
the text apart from general computer books thus making it appealing not only to those studying
for IS degrees but also to students from other fields of study. The text isn’t overly technical, but
rather deals with the role that information systems play in an organization and the key principles
a manager needs to grasp to be successful. These principles of IS are brought together and
presented in a way that is both understandable and relevant. In addition, this book offers an
overview of the entire IS discipline, while giving students a solid foundation for further study in
advanced IS courses such as programming, systems analysis and design, project management,
database management, data communications, website and systems development, electronic
commerce and mobile commerce applications, and decision support. As such, it serves the
needs of both general business students and those who will become IS professionals.

Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. WCN 02-300
IS Principles First, Where They Belong
Exposing students to fundamental IS principles is an advantage for students who do not later
return to the discipline for advanced courses. Since most functional areas in business rely on
information systems, an understanding of IS principles helps students in other course work. In
addition, introducing students to the principles of IS helps future business function managers
employ information systems successfully and avoid mishaps that often result in unfortunate
consequences. Furthermore, presenting IS concepts at the introductory level creates interest
among general business students who may later choose IS as a field of concentration.

Goals of this Text


Principles of Business Information Systems has four main goals:
1 To provide a core of IS principles with which every business student should be familiar.
2 To offer a survey of the IS discipline that will enable all business students to understand
the relationship of IS courses to their curriculum as a whole.
3 To present the changing role of the IS professional.
4 To show the value of the discipline as an attractive field of specialization.
By achieving these goals, Principles of Business Information Systems will enable students
to understand and use fundamental IS principles so that they can function more efficiently and
effectively as workers, managers, decision makers and organizational leaders.

IS Principles
Principles of Business Information Systems, although comprehensive, cannot cover every aspect
of the rapidly changing IS discipline. The authors, having recognized this, provide students with
an essential core of guiding IS principles to use as they face career challenges ahead. Think of
principles as basic truths or rules that remain constant regardless of the situation. As such, they
provide strong guidance in the face of tough decisions. A set of IS principles is highlighted at
the beginning of each chapter. The ultimate goal of Principles of Business Information Systems
is to develop effective, thinking, action-oriented employees by instilling them with principles to
help guide their decision making and actions.

Survey of the IS Discipline


This text not only offers the traditional coverage of computer concepts but also provides a
broad framework to impart students with a solid grounding in the business uses of technol-
ogy. In addition to serving general business students, this book offers an overview of the entire
IS discipline and solidly prepares future IS professionals for advanced IS courses and their
careers in the rapidly changing IS discipline.

Changing Role of the IS Professional


As business and the IS discipline have changed, so too has the role of the IS professional.
Once considered a technical specialist, today the IS professional operates as an inter-
nal consultant to all functional areas of the organization, being knowledgeable about their
needs and competent in bringing the power of IS to bear throughout the organization. The IS

Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. WCN 02-300
professional views issues through a global perspective that encompasses the entire organiza-
tion and the broader industry and business environment in which it operates.
The scope of responsibilities of an IS professional today is not confined to just his or her
employer but encompasses the entire interconnected network of employees, suppliers, custom-
ers, competitors, regulatory agencies and other entities, no matter where they are located. This
broad scope of responsibilities creates a new challenge: how to help an organization survive
in a highly interconnected, highly competitive global environment. In accepting that challenge,
the IS professional plays a pivotal role in shaping the business itself and ensuring its success.
To survive, businesses must now strive for the highest level of customer satisfaction and loyalty
through competitive prices and ever-improving product and service quality. The IS professional
assumes the critical responsibility of determining the organization’s approach to both overall
cost and quality performance and therefore plays an important role in the ongoing survival of
the organization. This new duality in the role of the IS employee – a professional who exercises
a specialist’s skills with a generalist’s perspective – is reflected throughout the book.

IS as a Field for Further Study


Employment of computer and IS managers is expected to grow much faster than the
average for all occupations. Technological advancements will boost the employment of com-
puter-related workers; in turn, this will boost the demand for managers to direct these workers.
In addition, job openings will result from the need to replace managers who retire or move into
other occupations.
A career in IS can be exciting, challenging and rewarding! It is important to show the value
of the discipline as an appealing field of study and that the IS graduate is no longer a technical
recluse. Today, perhaps more than ever before, the IS professional must be able to align IS and
organizational goals and ensure that IS investments are justified from a business perspective.
The need to draw bright and interested students into the IS discipline is part of our ongoing
responsibility. Upon graduation, IS graduates at many schools are among the highest paid of
all business graduates. Throughout this text, the many challenges and opportunities available
to IS professionals are highlighted and emphasized.

Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. WCN 02-300
Changes to the Third Edition

Principles of Business Information Systems is an adaptation of the popular US text-


book Principles of Information Systems, now in its thirteenth edition. With a more
international outlook, this book is suitable for students in the UK, Europe, the Middle
East and South Africa on introductory BIS or MIS courses. The new title reflects the fact that this
book has boosted its business emphasis but retained its technology focus.
Continuing to present IS concepts with a managerial emphasis, this edition retains the over-
all vision, framework and pedagogy that made the previous US editions so popular:
■ Principles of Business Information Systems keeps the same five-part structure, is
packed with new real world examples and business cases, and highlights ethical issues
throughout.
■ It is still an IS text aimed at those studying business and management.
However, in order to increase its international relevance, we have made a number of changes.
The main improvements are:
■ Cases are more international in flavour, including examples from South Africa, Australia
and Europe, and have a broader sector spread, reflecting a wider variety of business
types (including SMEs).
■ The book has been brought completely up to date in terms of innovations in IT.
■ Legal and ethical issues in IT have been made more international.
■ A chapter on pervasive computing reflects the move of the computer away from the
desktop to enter almost every aspect of our lives.
■ Separate information systems are still discussed in Chapters 7, 8, 9 and 10 (all of Sec-
tion 3) but we recognize that many large – and some small – companies take a more
integrated approach and this is covered at the start of Section 3.

Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. WCN 02-300
Structure of the Text

Principles of Business Information Systems is organized into five parts – an over-


view of information systems, an introduction to information technology concepts, an
examination of different classes of business information systems, a study of systems
development and a focus on information systems in business and the wider society.
The content of each chapter is as follows:
Chapter 1 An Introduction to Information Systems
Chapter 1 creates a framework for the entire book. Major sections in this chapter become entire
chapters in the text. This chapter describes the components of an information system and intro-
duces major classes of business information systems. It offers an overview of systems develop-
ment and outlines some major challenges that IS professionals face.
Chapter 2 Information Systems in Organizations
Chapter 2 gives an overview of business organizations and presents a foundation for the effec-
tive and efficient use of IS in a business environment. We have stressed that the traditional
mission of IS is to deliver the right information to the right person at the right time. In the section
on virtual organizational structure, we discuss that virtual organizational structures allow work
to be separated from location and time. Work can be done anywhere, anytime. The concept of
business process reengineering (BPR) is introduced and competitive advantage is examined –
higher quality products, better customer service and lower costs.
Chapter 3 Hardware: Input, Processing, Output and Storage Devices
This chapter concentrates on the hardware component of a computer-based information sys-
tem (CBIS) and reflects the latest equipment and computer capabilities – computer memory is
explained and a variety of hardware platforms are discussed including mobile technology.
Chapter 4 Software: Systems and Application Software
You cannot come into contact with a computer without coming into contact with software. This
chapter examines a wide range of software and related issues including operating systems and
application software, open source and proprietary software, software for mobile devices and
copyrights and licenses.
Chapter 5 Organizing and Storing Data
Databases are the heart of almost all IS. A huge amount of data is entered into computer sys-
tems every day. Chapter 5 examines database management systems and how they can help
businesses. The chapter includes a brief overview of how to organize data in a database, a look
at database administration and discusses how data can be used competitively by examining
both data mining and business intelligence.
Chapter 6 Computer Networks
The power of information technology greatly increases when devices are linked or networked,
which is the subject of this chapter. Today’s decision makers need to access data wherever
it resides. They must be able to establish fast, reliable connections to exchange messages,
upload and download data and software, route business transactions to processors, connect
to databases and network services, and send output to printers. This chapter examines the
hardware involved and examines the world’s biggest computer network, the Internet.

Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. WCN 02-300
Chapter 7 Operational Systems
Operational systems, such as transaction processing systems, allow firms to buy and sell. With-
out systems to perform these functions, the firm could not operate. Organizations today are
moving from a collection of non-integrated transaction processing systems to highly integrated
enterprise resource planning systems to perform routine business processes and maintain
records about them. These systems support a wide range of business activities associated with
supply chain management and customer relationship management. This chapter examines
transaction processing systems and enterprise resource planning systems.
Chapter 8 Management Information and Decision Support Systems
This chapter begins with a discussion of decision making and examines the decision-making
process. Both management information systems and decision support systems are examined
in detail. Their ability to help managers make better decisions is emphasized.
Chapter 9 Knowledge Management and Specialized Information Systems
A discussion of knowledge management leads onto a discussion of some of the special-
purpose systems discussed in the chapter, including expert and knowledge-based systems.
The other topics discussed include robotics, vision systems, virtual reality and a variety of other
special-purpose systems. We discuss embedded artificial intelligence, where artificial intelli-
gence capabilities and applications are placed inside products and services.
Chapter 10 Pervasive Computing
The move of information systems to leave the office desktop and enter every aspect of our lives
is well underway. Many businesses are exploiting this to their advantage, as are their custom-
ers. This chapter examines some of the technologies that are enabling all of this to happen.
New ones are being introduced almost every month. It is important that businesses understand
the potential benefits they can bring.
Chapter 11 Systems Analysis
This chapter and the next examine where information systems come from. Systems investiga-
tion and systems analysis, the first two steps of the systems development, are discussed. This
chapter provides specific examples of how new or modified systems are initiated and analyzed
in a number of industries. This chapter emphasizes how a project can be planned, aligned with
corporate goals and rapidly developed.
Chapter 12 Systems Design and Implementation
This chapter looks at how the analysis discussed in Chapter 11 can be used to design and
build IT solutions. The chapter mainly looks at developing a new system but also examines
solving a problem by buying an existing IS that has already been developed.
Chapter 13 Security, Privacy and Ethical Issues in Information Systems
This last chapter looks at security, privacy and ethical issues, something that is in the back-
ground throughout the text. A wide range of non-technical issues associated with the use of
IS provide both opportunities and threats to modern organizations. The issues span the full
spectrum – from preventing computer waste and mistakes, to avoiding violations of privacy, to
complying with laws on collecting data about customers, to monitoring employees.

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About the Authors

Ralph Stair received a BS in Chemical Engineering from Purdue University, an MBA


from Tulane University, and a PhD from the University of Oregon. He has taught
information systems at many universities. He has published numerous articles and
books, including Succeeding With Technology, Programming in BASIC and many more.
George Reynolds is an assistant professor in the Information Systems department of the
College of Business at the University of Cincinnati. He received a BS in Aerospace Engineering
from the University of Cincinnati and an MS in Systems Engineering from West Coast Univer-
sity. He taught part-time at Xavier University, the University of Cincinnati, Miami University and
the College of Mount Saint Joseph while working full-time in the information systems industry,
including positions at the Manned Spacecraft Center in Houston, Texas; the Jet Propulsion Lab
in Pasadena, California; and Procter and Gamble in Cincinnati, Ohio.
Thomas Chesney is an associate professor of information systems at Nottingham Univer-
sity Business School where he studies the behaviour of networked individuals. His work has
appeared in the Information Systems Journal and Decision Support Systems. Thomas has a PhD
in Information Systems from Brunel University, an MSc in Informatics from Edinburgh Univer Univer-
sity where his specialism was knowledge management and engineering, and a BSc in Informa-
tion Management from the Queen’s University of Belfast. He is a fellow of the Higher Education
Academy and a member of the Association for Information Systems.

Acknowledgements
We are indebted to the following reviewers for their perceptive feedback and expert insight on
early drafts of this text and previous editions:
■ Scott Bingley, Victoria University, Australia
■ Duane Boucher, Fort Hare University, South Africa
■ Timothy Cleary, London Metropolitan University, UK
■ Amare Desta, London South Bank University, UK
■ Oyetola Emmanuel-Ebikake, Edgehill University, UK
■ Matthias Meckel, University of Central Lancashire, UK
■ Jane Nash, Rhodes University, South Africa
■ Holly Tootell, University of Wollongong, Australia
■ Indrit Troshani, University of Adelaide Business School, Australia

Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. WCN 02-300
Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. WCN 02-300
PART 1

Overview

1 An Introduction to Information Systems


2 Information Systems in Organizations

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01
An Introduction to
Information Systems

Principles Learning Objectives


The value of information is directly linked ■ Discuss why it is important to study and understand
to how it helps decision makers achieve information systems.
organizational goals. ■ Describe the characteristics used to evaluate the quality
of data.

Computers and information systems ■ Name the components of an information system and
are constantly making it possible for describe several system characteristics.
organizations to improve the way they
conduct business.

Knowing the potential impact of ■ Identify the basic types of business information systems
information systems and having the and discuss who uses them, how they are used and
ability to put this knowledge to work can what kinds of benefits they deliver.
result in a successful personal career,
organizations that reach their goals and a
society with a higher quality of life.

System users, business managers and ■ Identify the major steps of the systems development
information systems professionals must process and state the goal of each.
work together to build a successful
information system.

Information systems must be applied ■ Describe some of the threats to security and privacy that
thoughtfully and carefully so that society, information systems and the Internet can pose.
business and industry can reap their ■ Discuss the expanding role and benefits of information
enormous benefits. systems in business and industry.

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1
Why Learn About Information systems are used in almost every imaginable profes-
sion. Sales representatives use information systems to advertise
Information Systems? products, communicate with customers and analyze sales trends.
Managers use them to make major decisions, such as whether to
build a manufacturing plant or research a cancer drug. From a small music store to huge multinational compa-
nies, businesses of all sizes could not survive without information systems to perform accounting and finance
operations. Regardless of your chosen career, you will use information systems to help you achieve goals.
This chapter presents an overview of information systems. The sections on hardware, software, data-
bases, telecommunications, e-commerce and m-commerce, transaction processing and enterprise
resource planning, information and decision support, special purpose systems, systems development, and
ethical and societal issues are expanded to full chapters in the rest of the book. We will start by exploring
the basics of information systems.

1.1 What is an Information System?


People and organizations use information every day. Many retail chains, for example, collect data
from their shops to help them stock what customers want and to reduce costs. Businesses use
information systems to increase revenues and reduce costs. We use automated teller machines
outside banks and access information over the Internet. Information systems usually involve com-
puters, and, together, they are constantly changing the way organizations conduct business.
Today we live in an information economy. Information itself has value, and commerce often
involves the exchange of information rather than tangible goods. Systems based on computers
are increasingly being used to create, store and transfer information. Using information systems,
investors make multimillion-euro decisions, financial institutions transfer billions of euros around
the world electronically, and manufacturers order supplies and distribute goods faster than ever
before. Computers and information systems will continue to change businesses and the way we
live. To define an information system, we will start by examining what a system is.

What is a System?
system A set of elements or A central concept of this book is that of a system. A system is a set of elements
components that interact to or components that interact to accomplish goals. The elements themselves
accomplish goals.
and the relationships among them determine how the system works. Systems
have inputs, processing mechanisms, outputs and feedback (see Figure 1.1).
A system processes the input to create the output. For example, consider an automatic car
wash. Tangible inputs for the process are a dirty car, water and various cleaning ingredients.
Time, energy, skill and knowledge also serve as inputs to the system because they are needed
to operate it.

Figure 1.1 Components Feedback


of a System A system’s four
components consist of input,
processing, output and feedback. Input Processing Output

The processing mechanisms consist of first selecting which cleaning option you want (wash only,
wash with wax, wash with wax and hand dry, etc.) and communicating that to the operator of the
car wash. Liquid sprayers shoot clear water, liquid soap or car wax depending on where your car is

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in the process and which options you selected. The output is a clean car. As in all systems, indepen-
dent elements or components (the liquid sprayer, foaming brush and air dryer) interact to create a
clean car. A feedback mechanism is your assessment of how clean the car is.
System performance can be measured in various ways. Efficiency is a mea- efficiency A measure of what
sure of what is produced divided by what is consumed. For example, the effi- is produced divided by what is
consumed.
ciency of a motor is the energy produced (in terms of work done) divided by the
energy consumed (in terms of electricity or fuel). Some motors have an efficiency
of 50 per cent or less because of the energy lost to friction and heat generation.
Effectiveness is a measure of the extent to which a system achieves its effectiveness A measure of
goals. It can be computed by dividing the goals actually achieved by the total the extent to which a system
achieves its goals; it can be
of the stated goals. For example, a company might want to achieve a net profit computed by dividing the goals
of €100 million for the year with a new information system. Actual profits, how- actually achieved by the total of
ever, might only be €85 million for the year. In this case, the effectiveness is the stated goals.
85 per cent (85/100 = 85 per cent).
Evaluating system performance also calls for using performance standards.
A system performance standard is a specific objective of the system. For system performance standard
example, a system performance standard for a marketing campaign might be A specific objective of the
system.
to have each sales representative sell €100 000 of a certain type of product
each year (see Figure 1.2a). A system performance standard for a manufacturing process might
be to provide no more than 1 per cent defective parts (see Figure 1.2b). After standards are

150 000
Good Figure 1.2 System Performance
Standards
125 000 (a) Sales broken down by sales
person
100 000 Standard = 100 000 (b) Percentage of defective parts
Sales ( )

75 000

Bad
50 000

25 000

Adams Brown Davis Thomas


Salesperson
(a)

3
Defective parts (%)

2 Bad

1 Standard = 1%

Good
2 4 6 8 10 12
Production day
(b)

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1 established, system performance is measured and compared with the standard. Variances from
the standard are determinants of system performance.

What is Information?
Information is one of those concepts that we all seem intuitively able to grasp, but find tricky
to define. In the 1940s, mathematician Claude Shannon defined it as: information is that which
reduces uncertainty. Shannon was working on the technical problems involved in sending mes-
sages over communication networks, and his concept of information is actually quite different
from what we in business information systems mean by ‘information’. Nevertheless, we can
use his definition as a starting point. Imagine you are unsure of what today’s weather will be
like. Getting out of bed you open the curtains to see that the sun is shining. You now know a bit
more about what’s it’s going to be like: your uncertainty about the weather has been reduced.
Therefore looking out the window gave you information. When you turn on your radio and hear
a detailed weather report, your uncertainty has been reduced further. When you look at the
temperature gauge in your car, again your uncertainty has gone down. According to Shannon’s
definition, each of these events has therefore given you information.
However his definition does not really capture what we would think of when we consider the
information in, say, a management report. Therefore we simply define information as a collection
of facts. These facts can take many forms. The temperature gauge in the car gives information in
the form of a number. The radio gives audio information. Looking out of the window gives visual
information. Other forms of information include text, images and video clips.
Another term that is closely related to information is ‘data’. It’s not intuitive but a philosopher
might define data as ‘variation’. To explain this: a blank page contains no data, but as soon
as there is a mark on the page, that is, as soon as there is variation in the blankness, then
data exist. Again this doesn’t really capture what we mean by data in the context of busi-
ness information systems. The traditional information systems view is that the input to an
information system is data, and the output from the system is information. This means there-
fore that the difference between them is to do with how much processing has been done:
unprocessed facts are data, processed facts are information. Unfortunately, however, this
distinction is of little practical use. Therefore we will simply use the terms ‘information’ and
‘data’ interchangeably and define them as a collection of facts which can come in a variety
of formats. (Incidentally, strictly speaking, the term data is plural, so we would say ‘data are
used’ rather than ‘data is used’. However this is often not adhered to and we won’t worry too
much about it here.)

What is an Information System?


Now that we have defined the terms ‘system’ and ‘information’, we can define
information system (IS) A setan information system: an information system (IS) is a set of interrelated
of interrelated components that
components that collect, manipulate, store and disseminate information and
collect, manipulate, store and
disseminate information and
provide a feedback mechanism to meet an objective. It is the feedback mecha-
provide a feedback mechanism nism that helps organizations achieve their goals, such as increasing profits or
to meet an objective. improving customer service.
input The activity of gathering In information systems, input is the activity of gathering and capturing data.
and capturing data. In producing paycheques, for example, the number of hours every employee
processing Converting or works must be collected before the cheques can be calculated or printed. In
transforming input into useful
a university grading system, instructors must submit student grades before a
outputs.
summary of grades for the semester can be compiled and sent to the students.
Processing means converting or transforming this input into useful outputs. Processing
can involve making calculations, comparing data and taking alternative actions, and storing

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data for future use. In a payroll application, the number of hours each employee worked must
be converted into net, or take-home, pay. Other inputs often include employee ID number and
department. The required processing can first involve multiplying the number of hours worked
by the employee’s hourly pay rate to get gross pay. If weekly hours worked exceed basic
hours, overtime pay might also be included. Then tax must be deducted along with contribu-
tions to health and life insurance or savings plans to get net pay.
After these calculations and comparisons are performed, the results are typically stored. Storage
involves keeping data and information available for future use, including output.
Output involves producing useful information, usually in the form of documents output Production of useful
and reports. Outputs can include paycheques for employees, reports for manag- information, often in the form
ers, and information supplied to stockholders, banks, government agencies and of documents and reports.
other groups. In addition, output from one system can become input for another.
For example, output from a system that processes sales orders can be used as input to a customer
billing system. Computers typically produce output on printers and display screens. Output can also
be handwritten or manually produced reports, although this is not common.
Lastly, feedback is information from the system that is used to make feedback Output that is used
changes to input or processing activities. For example, errors or problems might to make changes to input or
make it necessary to correct input data or change a process. Consider a payroll processing activities.
example. Perhaps the number of hours an employee worked was entered as
400 instead of 40 hours. Fortunately, most information systems check to make sure that data
falls within certain ranges. For number of hours worked, the range might be from 0 to 100 hours
because it is unlikely that an employee would work more than 100 hours in a week. The informa-
tion system would determine that 400 hours is out of range and provide feedback. The feedback
is used to check and correct the input on the number of hours worked to 40.
Feedback is also important for managers and decision makers. For example, a furniture maker
could use a computerized feedback system to link its suppliers and manufacturing plants. The
output from an information system might indicate that inventory levels for mahogany and oak are
getting low – a potential problem. A manager could use this feedback to decide to order more
wood from a supplier. These new inventory orders then become input to the system. In addition
to this reactive approach, a computer system can also be proactive – predicting
future events to avoid problems. This concept, often called forecasting, can be forecasting Predicting future
used to estimate future sales and order more inventory before a shortage events.
occurs. Forecasting is also used to predict the strength of hurricanes and pos-
sible landing sites, future stock-market values and who will win a political election.

The Characteristics of Valuable Information


To be valuable to managers and decision makers, information should have some and possibly
all of the characteristics described in Table 1.1. Many shipping companies, for example, can
determine the exact location of inventory items and packages in their systems, and this informa-
tion makes them responsive to their customers. In contrast, if an organization’s information is not
accurate or complete, people can make poor decisions costing thousands, or even millions, of
euros. Many claim, for example, that the collapse and bankruptcy of some companies, such as
drug companies and energy-trading firms, was a result of inaccurate accounting and reporting
information, which led investors and employees alike to misjudge the actual state of the com-
pany’s finances and suffer huge personal losses. As another example, if an inaccurate forecast
of future demand indicates that sales will be very high when the opposite is true, an organization
can invest millions of euros in a new plant that is not needed. Furthermore, if information is not
relevant, not delivered to decision makers in a timely fashion, or too complex to understand, it
can be of little value to the organization.
The value of information is directly linked to how it helps decision makers achieve their organi-
zation’s goals. For example, the value of information might be measured in the time required to

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Another random document with
no related content on Scribd:
That women hold in full great reverence.
Now will I turn again to my sentence.
A col fox, full of sly iniquity,
That in the grove had wonned yearés three,
By high imagination forecast.
The samé night throughout the hedges brast
Into the yard where Chanticleer the fair
Was wont, and eke his wivés to repair,
And in a bed of wortés still he lay
Till it was passed undern of the day,
Waiting his time on Chanticleer to fall,
As gladly do these homicidés all
That in await liggen to murder men.
O falsé murderer! rucking in thy den,
O newé Scariot, newé Ganelon!
O false dissimuler, O Greek Simon!
That broughtest Troy all utterly to sorrow.
O Chanticleer, accursed be the morrow
That thou into thy yard flew from thy beams
Thou were full well ywarnéd by thy dreams
That thilké day was perilous to thee:
But what that God forewot must needés be,
After the opinion of certain clerkés,
Witness on him that any perfect clerk is,
That in schoolé is great altercation
In this matteré, and great disputision,
And hath been of a hundred thousand men:
But I ne cannot boult it to the bren,
As can the holy Doctor Augustin,
Or Boece, or the Bishop Bradwardin,
Whether that Godde’s worthy foreweeting
Straineth me needly for to do a thing
(Needely clepe I simple necessity)
Or elles if free choice be granted me
To do the samé thing or do it naught
Though God forewot it ere that it was wrought,
Or if his weeting straineth never a deal
But by necessity conditional.
I will not have to do of such mattere;
My Tale is of a Cock, as ye may hear,
That took his counsel of his wife with sorrow,
To walken in the yard upon the morrow
That he had met the dream, as I you told.
Womenne’s counsels be full often cold;
Womenne’s counsels brought us first to woe,
And made Adam from Paradise to go,
There as he was full merry and well at ease:
But for I n’ot to whom I might displease
If I counsel of women wouldé blame—
Pass over, for I said it in my game.
Read authors where they treat of such mattere,
And what they say of women ye may hear,
These be the cocke’s wordés and not mine:
I can none harm of no womán devine.
Fair in the sand to bathe her merrily
Li’th Partelote, and all her sisters by,
Against the sun, and Chanticleer so free
Sang merrier than the mermaid in the sea,
(For Phisiologus sayeth sikerly
How that they singeth well and merrily).
And so befell that as he cast his eye
Among the wortés on a butterfly,
He was ware of this fox that lay full low,
Nothing he list him thenné for to crow,
But cried anon, “Cok! cok!” and up he start
As man that was affrayed in his heart,
For naturally a beast desireth flee
From his contráry if he may it see,
Though he ne’er erst had seen it with his eye.
This Chanticleer, when he ’gan him espy,
He would have fled, but that the fox anon
Said: “Gentle sir, alas! what will be done?
Be ye afraid of me that am your friend?
Now, certes, I were worse than any fiend
If I to you would harm or villany.
I am not come your counsel to espy;
But truély the cause of my coming
Was only for to hearken how ye sing,
For truély ye have as merry a steven
As any angel hath that is in heaven;
Therwith ye have of music more feeling
Than had Boece, or any that can sing.
My Lord, your father (God his soulé bless!)
And eke your mother of her gentleness,
Have in my house ybeen to my great ease,
And certés, Sir, full fain would I you please.
But for men speak of singing, I will say,
(So may I brouken well my eyen tway,)
Save you, ne heard I never man so sing
As did your father in the morrowning:
Certés it was of heart all that he sung:
And for to make his voice the moré strong
He would so pain him, that with both his eyen
He musté wink, so loud he wouldé crien,
And standen on his tiptoes therewithal,
And stretchen forth his necké long and small.
And eke he was of such discretion,
That there n’as no man in no región
That him in song or wisdom mighté pass.
I have well read in Dan Burnel the ass
Among his Vers, how that there was a cock,
That for a Priestés son gave him a knock
Upon his leg when he was young and nice
He made him for to lose his benefice;
But certain there is no comparison
Betwixt the wisdom and discretion
Of youré father and his subtilty.
Now singeth, Sir, for Sainté Charity:
Let see, can ye your father counterfeit?
This Chanticleer his wingés ’gan to beat,
As man that could not his treason espy,
So was he ravished with his flattery.
Alas! ye lordés, many a false flatour
Is in your court, and many a losengeour,
That pleaseth you well moré, by my faith,
Than he that sothfastness unto you saith.
Readeth Ecclesiast of flattery:
Beware ye lordés of their treachery.
This Chanticleer stood high upon his toes
Stretching his neck, and held his eyen close,
And ’gan to crowen loude for the nones;
And Dan Russell the fox start up at once,
And by the gargat henté Chanticleer
And on his back toward the wood him bear,
For yet ne was there no man that him sued.
O destiny! that mayst not be eschew’d,
Alas that Chanticleer flew from the beams,
Alas his wife ne raughté not of dreams!
And on a Friday fell all this mischance.
TO MY EMPTY PURSE
To you, my purse, and to none other wight,
Complain I, for ye be my lady dear;
I am sorry now that ye be so light,
For certés ye now make me heavy cheer;
Me were as lief be laid upon a bier,
For which unto your mercy thus I cry,
Be heavy again, or ellés must I die.

Now vouchsafen this day, ere it be night,


That I of you the blissful sound may hear,
Or see your colour like the sunné bright,
That of yellowness ne had never peer;
Ye be my life, ye be my heartés steer;
Queen of comfórt and of good company,
Be heavy again, or ellés must I die.

Now, purse, that art to me my livés light,


And saviour, as down in this world here,
Out of this towné help me by your might,
Sithen that you will not be my tresór,
For I am shave as nigh as any frere,
But I prayen unto your courtesy,
Be heavy again, or ellés must I die.

BALLAD OF WOMEN’S DOUBLENESS


This world is full of variance
In everything; who taketh heed,
That faith and trust, and all Constance,
Exiléd be, this is no drede,
And save only in womanhead,
I can ysee no sikerness;
But, for all that, yet as I read,
Beware alway of doubleness.

Also that the fresh summer flowers,


The white and red, the blue and green,
Be suddenly with winter showers,
Made faint and fade, withouten ween;
That trust is none, as ye may seen,
In no thing, nor no steadfastness,
Except in women, thus I mean;
Yet aye beware of doubleness.
The crooked moon (this is no tale),
Some while isheen and bright of hue,
And after that full dark and pale,
And every moneth changeth new,
That who the very sothé knew
All thing is built on brittleness,
Save that women always be true;
Yet aye beware of doubleness.

The lusty freshé summer’s day,


And Phœbus with his beamés clear,
Towardés night they draw away,
And no longer list t’ appear,
That in this present life now here
Nothing abideth in his fairness,
Save women aye be found entere,
And devoid of all doubleness.

The sea eke with his sterné wawés


Each day yfloweth new again,
And by the concourse of his lawés
The ebbe floweth in certain;
After great drought there cometh rain;
That farewell here all stableness,
Save that women be whole and plein;
Yet aye beware of doubleness.

Fortunés wheel go’th round about


A thousand timés day and night,
Whose course standeth ever in doubt
For to transmue she is so light,
For which adverteth in your sight
Th’ untrust of worldly fickleness,
Save women, which of kindly right
Ne hath no touch of doubleness.

What man ymay the wind restrain,


Or holden a snake by the tail?
Who may a slipper eel constrain
That it will void withouten fail?
Or who can driven so a nail
To maké sure newfangleness,
Save women, that can gie their sail
To row their boat with doubleness?

At every haven they can arrive


Whereat they wot is good passáge;
Of innocence they cannot strive
With wawés, nor no rockés rage;
So happy is their lodemanage
With needle and stone their course to dress,
That Solomon was not so sage
To find in them no doubleness.

Therefore whoso doth them accuse


Of any double intentión,
To speaké rown, other to muse,
To pinch at their conditión,
All is but false collusión,
I dare right well the soth express;
They have no better protectión,
But shroud them under doubleness.

So well fortunéd is their chance,


The dice to-turnen up so down,
With sice and cinque they can advance,
And then by revolutión
They set a fell conclusión
Of lombés, as in sothfastness,
Though clerkés maken mentión
Their kind is fret with doubleness.

Sampson yhad experience


That women were full true yfound
When Dalila of innocence
With shearés ’gan his hair to round;
To speak also of Rosamond,
And Cleopatra’s faithfulness,
The stories plainly will confound
Men that apeach their doubleness.

Single thing is not ypraiséd,


Nor of old is of no renown,
In balance when they be ypesed,
For lack of weight they be borne down,
And for this cause of just reason
These women all of rightwisness
Of choice and free electión
Most love exchange and doubleness.

L’ENVOI
O ye women! which be inclinéd
By influence of your natúre
To be as pure as gold yfinéd,
And in your truth for to endure,
Armeth yourself in strong armúre,
(Lest men assail your sikerness,)
Set on your breast, yourself t’assure,
A mighty shield of doubleness.

Chaucer was called the Morning Star of Song, and his immediate
followers proved to be satellites of far less magnitude.
John Skelton, an early Poet Laureate, was of a buffoon type of
humor, yet thus speaks of his own verse.
Though my rhyme be ragged,
Tattered and gagged,
Rudely rainbeaten,
Rusty, moth-eaten,
If ye take well therewith,
It hath in it some pith.

One, at least, of his whimsical poems is not without charm.


TO MAISTRES MARGARET HUSSEY
Mirry Margaret
As midsomer flowre,
Gentyll as faucon
Or hauke of the towre,
With solace and gladnes
Moch mirth, and no madnes,
All good and no badnes,
So joyously
So maydenly
So womanly
Her demeynynge
In every thynge
Far, far passynge
That I can endite
Or suffice to write
Of mirry Margaret
As mydsomer flowre
Gentill as faucon
Or hawke of the towre.
As pacient and as styll
And as ful of good wil
As faire Isiphyll
Coliander
Sweete pomaunder
Good Cassander;
Stedfast of thought
Wel made, wel wroght,
Far may be sought
Erst that ye can fynde
So curteise so kynde
As mirry Margaret
This midsomer flowre,
Gentyll as faucon
Or hauke of the towre.

The Troubadours and Minstrels were followed by a type of


entertainer known as the Fool or the Court Fool, who took the place
of the satirist in the great households.
Soon various jests were collected, and attributed to these
domestic fools, whose garb began to take the form of the cap and
bells, accompanied by the jester’s bauble.
As printing became more widespread, the jestbooks multiplied,
and many collections were published in England.
Skelton seems to have been quite as much Court Jester as Poet
Laureate under Henry VII and Henry VIII, and a volume of Merie
Tayles of Skelton is one of the earliest of the Jest Books.
Yet, since this was published some forty years after Skelton’s
death it is assumed that but few of the tales are really of the poet’s
origination.
Likewise, Scogin’s Jests and the stories attributed to Tarlton and
Peele are considered unauthentic as to authorship and merely the
work of the hack writers of the period.
These Jestbooks as well as the C. Mery Talys, or Hundred Merry
Tales, which, with its companion volume, Mery Tales and Quicke
Answeres, was, we are told, used by Shakespeare, are now found in
many reprints, and only a few bits of their witty or humorous lore may
be given here.
As an example of the sharp satire of Skelton, the following shows
how he regarded the prevalent practice of obtaining letters patent of
monopoly from the crown, and also is a hit at the fondness for
drinking among the Welsh.

HOW THE WELSHMAN DYD DESYRE SKELTON TO AYDE HIM IN HYS SUTE
TO THE KYNGE FOR A PATENT TO SELL DRYNKE

Skelton, when he was in London went to the kynge’s courte,


where there dyd come to him a Welshman saying, “Syr, it is so that
many dooth come upp of my country to the kynge’s court, and some
doth get of the kynge by a patent a castell, and some a parke, and
some a forest, and some one fee and some another, and they doe
lyve lyke honest men, and I should lyve as honestly as the best, if I
might have a patent for good drynke, wherefore I dooe praye you to
write a fewe woords for me in a lytle byll to geve the same to the
kynge’s handes, and I will geve you well for your laboure. I am
contented sayde Skelton. Syte downe, then, sayd the Welshman and
write. What shall I wryte? sayde Skelton. The Welshman said wryte
“dryncke.” Nowe sayde the Welshman wryte “more dryncke.” What
nowe? said Skelton. Wryte now “A great deale of dryncke.” Nowe
sayd the Welshman putte to all thys dryncke “A littell crome of
breade, and a great déale of dryncke to it,” and reade once again.
Skelton dyd reade “Dryncke, more dryncke, and a great deale of
dryncke and a lytle crome of breade and a great deale of dryncke to
it.” Then the Welshman sayde Put oute the litle crome of breade, and
sette in all dryncke and no breade. And if I myght have thys sygned
of the kynge, sayde the Welshman, I care for no more as long as I
lyve. Well, then, sayde Skelton, when you have thys sygned of the
kynge then will I labour for a patent to have bread, that you wyth
your dryncke and I with the bread may fare well, and seeke our
livinge with bagge and staffe.

Here Begynneth Certayne Merye Tales of Skelton, Poet Lauriat


HOW SKELTON CAME LATE HOME TO OXFORD FROM ABINGTON

Skelton was an Englysheman borne as Skogyn was, and hee was


educated & broughte up in Oxfoorde: and there was he made a
poete lauriat. And on a tyme he had ben at Abbington to make mery,
wher that he had eate salte meates, and hee did com late home to
Oxforde, and he did lye in an ine named ye Tabere whyche is now
the Angell, and hee dyd drynke, & went to bed. About midnight he
was so thyrstie or drye that hee was constrained to call to the tapster
for drynke, & the tapster harde him not. Then hee cryed to hys oste
& hys ostes, and to the ostler, for drinke; and no man wold here hym.
Alacke, sayd Skelton, I shall peryshe for lacke of drynke! what
reamedye? At the last he dyd crie out and sayd: Fyer, fyer, fyer!
when Skelton hard euery man bustle hymselfe upward, & some of
them were naked, & some were halfe asleepe and amased, and
Skelton dyd crye: Fier, fier! styll, that everye man knewe not whether
to resorte. Skelton did go to bed, and the oste and ostis, & the
tapster with the ostler, dyd runne to Skeltons chamber with candles
lyghted in theyr handes, saying: where, where, where is the fyer?
Here, here, here, said Skelton, & poynted hys fynger to hys moouth,
saying: fetch me some drynke to quenche the fyer and the heate and
the drinesse in my mouthe: & so they dyd. Wherfore it is good for
everye man to helpe hys owne selfe in tyme of neede wythe some
policie or crafte, so bee it there bee no deceit nor falshed used.

The Jests of Scogin


HOW JACKE BY SOPHISTRY WOULD MAKE OF TWO EGGS THREE

Scogin on a tyme had two egs to his breakfast, and Jack his
scholler should rost them; and as they were rosting, Scogin went to
the fire to warme him. And as the egs were rosting, Jacke said: sir, I
can by sophistry prove that here be three egs. Let me se that, said
Scogin. I shall tel you, sir, said Jack. Is not here one? Yes, said
Scogin. And is not here two? Yes, said Scogin; of that I am sure.
Then Jack did tell the first egge againe, saying: is not this the third?
O, said Scogin, Jack, thou art a good sophister; wel, said Scogin,
these two eggs shall serve me for my breakfast, and take thou the
third for thy labour and for the herring that thou didst give mee the
last day. So one good turne doth aske another, and to deceive him
that goeth about to deceive is no deceit.

This is a very common story. It is, in a slightly varied form, No. 67


of A C Mery Tales, and Johnson has introduced it into The Pleasant
Conceits of Old Hobson, the Merry Londoner, 1607.

HOW SCOGIN SOLD POWDER TO KILL FLEAS

Scogin divers times did lacke money, and could not tell what shift
to make. At last, he thought to play the physician, and did fill a box
full of the powder of a rotten post; and on a Sunday he went to a
Parish Church, and told the wives that hee had a powder to kil up all
the fleas in the country, and every wife bought a pennyworth; and
Scogin went his way, ere Masse was done. The wives went home,
and cast the powder into their beds and in their chambers, and the
fleas continued still. On a time, Scogin came to the same Church on
a sunday, and when the wives had espied him, the one said to the
other: this is he that deceived us with the powder to kill fleas; see,
said the one to the other, this is the selfe-same person. When Masse
was done, the wives gathered about Scogin, and said: you be an
honest man to deceive us with the powder to kill fleas. Why, said
Scogin, are not your fleas all dead? We have more now (said they)
than ever we had. I marvell of that, said Scogin, I am sure you did
not use the medicine as you should have done. They said: wee did
cast it in our beds and in our chambers. I, said he, there be a sort of
fooles that will buy a thing, and will not aske what they should doe
with it. I tell you all, that you should have taken every flea by the
neck, and then they would gape; and then you should have cast a
little of the powder into every flea’s mouth, and so you should have
killed them all. Then said the wives: we have not onely lost our
money, but we are mocked for our labour.

From Mery Tales of the Mad Men of Gottam


THE SECOND TALE

There was a man of Gottam did ride to the market with two
bushells of wheate, and because his horse should not beare heavy,
he caried his corne upon his owne necke, & did ride upon his horse,
because his horse should not cary to heavy a burthen. Judge you
which was the wisest, his horse or himselfe.

THE THIRD TALE

On a tyme, the men of Gottam would have pinned in the Cuckoo,


whereby shee should sing all the yeere, and in the midst of ye town
they made a hedge round in compasse, and they had got a Cuckoo,
and had put her into it, and said: Sing here all the yeere, and thou
shalt lacke neither meate nor drinke. The Cuckoo, as soone as she
perceived her selfe incompassed within the hedge, flew away. A
vengeance on her! said they; we made not our hedge high enough.

From Mother Bunches Merriments


HOW MADDE COOMES, WHEN HIS WIFE WAS DROWNED, SOUGHT HER
AGAINST THE STREAME

Coomes of Stapforth, hearing that his wife was drowned comming


from market, went with certayne of his friends to see if they could
find her in the river. He, contrary to all the rest, sought his wife
against the streame; which they perceyving, sayd he lookt the wrong
way. And why so? (quoth he.) Because (quoth they) you should
looke downe the streame, and not against it. Nay, zounds (quoth
hee), I shall never find her that way: for shee did all things so
contrary in her life time, that now she is dead, I am sure she will goe
against the streame.

The Pleasant Conceits of Old Hobson


HOW MAISTER HOBSON SAID HE WAS NOT AT HOME
On a time Master Hobson upon some ocation came to Master
Fleetewoods house to speake with him, being then new chosen the
recorder of London, and asked one of his men if he were within, and
he said he was not at home. But Maister Hobson, perceving that his
maister bad him say so, and that he was within (not being willing at
that time to be spoken withall), for that time desembling the matter,
he went his way. Within a few dayes after, it was Maister Fleetwoods
chaunse to come to Maister Hobson’s, and knocking at the dore,
asked if he were within. Maister Hobson, hearing and knowing how
he was denyed Maister Fleetwoods speach before time, spake
himselfe aloud, and said hee was not at home. Then sayd Maister
Fleetwood: what, Master Hobson, thinke you that I knowe not your
voyce? Whereunto Maister Hobson answered and said: now, Maister
Fleetewood, am I quit with you: for when I came to speake with you,
I beleeved your man that said you were not at home, and now you
will not beleeve mine owne selfe; and this was the mery conference
betwixt these two merry gentlemen.
FROM CERTAINE CONCEYTS & JEASTS; AS WELL TO LAUGH DOWNE OUR
HARDER UNDIGESTED MORSELLS, AS BREAKE UP WITH MYRTH OUR
BOOKE AND BANQUET. COLLECTED OUT OF SCOTUS POGGIUS, AND
OTHERS
A certayne Poore-man met king Phillip, & besought him for
something, because he was his kinsman. The king demanded frō
whence descended. Who answered: from Adam. Then the K.
commaunded an Almes to be given. Hee replyed, an Almes was not
the gift of a king; to whome the king answered: if I should so reward
all my kindred in that kinde, I should leave but little for myselfe.

A certaine conceyted Traveller being at a Banquet, where


chanced a flye to fall into his cuppe, which hee (being to drinke)
tooke out for himselfe, and afterwards put in againe for his fellow:
being demanded his reason, answered, that for his owne part he
affected them not, but it might be some other did.
A certaine player, seeing Thieves in his house in the night, thus
laughingly sayde: I knowe not what you will finde here in the dark,
when I can find nothing my selfe in the light.
WIT AND MIRTH. CHARGEABLY COLLECTED OUT OF TAVERNS,
ORDINARIES, INNES, BOWLING-GREENES AND ALLYES, ALEHOUSES,
TOBACCO-SHOPS, HIGHWAYES, AND WATER-PASSAGES. MADE UP,
AND FASHIONED INTO CLINCHES, BULLS, QUIRKES, YERKES, QUIPS,
AND JERKES. APOTHEGMATICALLY BUNDLED UP AND GARBLED AT
THE REQUEST OF JOHN GARRET’S GHOST
Taylor the Water-Poet was one of the favourite authors of Robert
Southey, who has given an account of his life and writings in his
Uneducated Poets, and has quoted him largely in his Common-
Place Book.
John Garret, at the request of whose ghost the Water-Poet
professes to have formed the present collection, was a jester of the
period, mentioned by Bishop Corbet and others. Heylin, author of the
Cosmography, speaks of “Archy’s bobs, and Garrets sawcy jests.” In
his dedication of the Wit and Mirth, Taylor alludes to Garret as “that
old honest mirrour of mirth deceased.”
Taylor, to forestall possible cavils at his plagiarisms from others, or
adoption of good sayings already published and well-known,
expressly says in the dedication: “Because I had many of them [the
jests] by relation and heare-say, I am in doubt that some of them
may be in print in some other Authors, which I doe assure you is
more than I doe know.”

One said, that hee could never have his health in Cambridge, and
that if hee had lived there till this time, hee thought in his conscience
that hee had dyed seven yeeres agoe.
A Judge upon the Bench did aske an old man how old he was. My
Lord, said he, I am eight and fourscore. And why not fourscore and
eight? said the Judge. The other repli’d: because I was eight, before
I was fourescore.

A rich man told his nephew that hee had read a booke called
Lucius Apuleius of the Golden Asse, and that he found there how
Apuleius, after he had beene an asse many yeeres, by eating of
Roses he did recover his manly shape againe, and was no more an
asse: the young man replied to his uncle: Sir, if I were worthy to
advise you, I would give you counsell to eate a salled of Roses once
a weeke yourselfe.

A country man being demanded how such a River was called, that
ranne through their Country, hee answered that they never had need
to call the River, for it alwayes came without calling.

One borrowed a cloake of a Gentleman, and met one that knew


him, who said: I thinke I know that cloake. It may be so, said the
other, I borrowed it of such a Gentleman. The other told him that it
was too short. Yea, but, quoth he that had the cloake, I will have it
long enough, before I bring it home againe.

OF THE WOMAN THAT FOLLOWED HER FOURTH HUSBANDS BERE AND


WEPT

A woman there was which had had iiii husbandys. It fourtuned


also that this fourth husbande dyed and was brought to chyrche
upon the bere; whom this woman folowed and made great mone,
and waxed very sory, in so moche that her neyghbours thought she
wolde swown and dye for sorow. Wherfore one of her gosseps cam
to her, and spake to her in her ere, and bad her, for Godds sake,
comfort her self and refrayne that lamentacion, or ellys it wold hurt
her and peraventure put her in jeopardy of her life. To whom this
woman answeryd and sayd: I wys, good gosyp, I have grete cause
to morne, if ye knew all. For I have beryed iii husbandes besyde this
man; but I was never in the case that I am now. For there was not
one of them but when that I folowed the corse to chyrch, yet I was
sure of an nother husband, before the corse cam out of my house,
and now I am sure of no nother husband; and therfore ye may be
sure I have great cause to be sad and hevy.
By thys tale ye may se that the olde proverbe ys trew, that it is as
great pyte to se a woman wepe as a gose to go barefote.

A C. Mery Talys
OF THE MERCHAUNTE OF LONDON THAT DYD PUT NOBLES IN HIS
MOUTHE IN HYS DETHE BEDDE

A ryche covetous marchant there was that dwellid in London,


which ever gaderyd mony and could never fynd in hys hert to spend
ought upon hym selfe nor upon no man els. Whiche fell sore syke,
and as he laye on hys deth bed had his purs lyenge at his beddys
hede, and [he] had suche a love to his money that he put his hande
in his purs, and toke out thereof x or xii li. in nobles and put them in
his mouth. And because his wyfe and other perceyved hym very
syke and lyke to dye, they exortyd hym to be confessyd, and brought
the curate unto hym. Which when they had caused him to say
Benedicite, the curate bad hym crye God mercy and shewe to hym
his synnes. Than this seyck man began to sey: I crey God mercy I
have offendyd in the vii dedly synnes and broken the x
commaundementes; but because of the gold in his mouth he muffled
so in his speche, that the curate could not well understande hym:
wherfore the curat askyd hym, what he had in his mouthe that letted
his spech. I wys, mayster parsone, quod the syke man, muffelynge, I
have nothyng in my mouthe but a lyttle money; bycause I wot not
whither I shal go, I thought I wold take some spendynge money with
me: for I wot not what nede I shall have therof; and incontynent after
that sayeng dyed, before he was confessyd or repentant that any
man coulde perceyve, and so by lyklyhod went to the devyll.
By this tale ye may se, that they that all theyr lyves wyll never do
charyte to theyr neghbours, that God in tyme of theyr dethe wyll not
suffre them to have grace of repentaunce.

OF THE SCOLER OF OXFORDE THAT PROVED BY SOVESTRY II CHYKENS III

A ryche Frankelyn in the contrey havynge by his wyfe but one


chylde and no mo, for the great affeccyon that he had to his sayd
chylde founde hym at Oxforde to schole by the space of ii or iii yere.
Thys yonge scoler, in a vacacyon tyme, for his disporte came home
to his father. It fortuned afterwarde on a nyght, the father, the mother
and the sayd yonge scoler
5 lines wanting.
I have studyed sovestry, and by that scyence I can prove, that
these ii chekyns in the dysshe be thre chekyns. Mary, sayde the
father, that wolde I fayne se. The scoller toke one of the chekyns in
his hande and said: lo! here is one chekyn, and incontynente he toke
bothe the chekyns in his hande jointely and sayd: here is ii chekyns;
and one and ii maketh iii: ergo here is iii chekyns. Than the father
toke one of the chekyns to him selfe, and gave another to his wyfe,
and sayd thus: lo! I wyll have one of the chekyns to my parte, and
thy mother shal have a nother, and because of thy good argumente
thou shalte have the thyrde to thy supper: for thou gettyst no more
meate here at this tyme; whyche promyse the father kepte, and so
the scoller wente without his supper.
By this tale men may se, that it is great foly to put one to scole to
lerne any subtyll scyence, whiche hathe no naturall wytte.

OF THE COURTEAR THAT ETE THE HOT CUSTARDE

A certayne merchaunt and a courtear, being upon a time together


at dyner having a hote custerd, the courtear being somwhat homely
of maner toke parte of it and put it in hys mouth, whych was so hote
that made him shed teares. The merchaunt, lookyng on him, thought
that he had ben weeping, and asked hym why he wept. This curtear,
not wyllynge it to be known that he had brent his mouth with the hote
custerd, answered and said, sir: quod he, I had a brother whych dyd
a certayn offence wherfore he was hanged; and, chauncing to think
now uppon his deth, it maketh me to wepe. This merchaunt thought
the courtear had said trew, and anon after the merchaunt was
disposid to ete of the custerd, and put a sponefull of it in his mouth,
and brent his mouth also, that his eyes watered. This courtear, that
percevyng, spake to the merchaunt and seyd: sir, quod he, pray why
do ye wepe now? The merchaunt perseyved how he had bene
deceived and said: mary, quod he, I wepe, because thou wast not
hangid, when that they brother was hangyd.

OF HYM THAT SOUGHT HIS WYFE AGAYNST THE STREME

A man there was whose wyfe, as she came over a bridg, fell in to
the ryver and was drowned; wherfore he wente and sought for her
upward against the stream, wherat his neighboures, that wente with
hym, marvayled, and sayde he dyd nought, he shulde go seke her
downeward with the streme. Naye, quod he, I am sure I shall never
fynde her that waye: for she was so waywarde and so contrary to
every thynge, while she lyvedde, that I knowe very well nowe she is
deed, she wyll go a gaynste the stream.

OF THE FOOLE THAT THOUGHT HYM SELFE DEED

There was a felowe dwellynge at Florence, called Nigniaca,


whiche was nat verye wyse, nor all a foole, but merye and jocunde.
A sorte of yonge men, for to laughe and pastyme, appoynted to
gether to make hym beleve that he was sycke. So, whan they were
agreed howe they wolde do, one of them mette hym in the
mornynge, as he came out of his house, and bad him good morowe,
and than asked him, if he were nat yl at ease? No, quod the foole, I
ayle nothynge, I thanke God. By my faith, ye have a sickely pale
colour, quod the other, and wente his waye.
Anone after, an other of them mette hym, and asked hym if he
had nat an ague: for your face and colour (quod he) sheweth that ye
be very sycke. Than the foole beganne a lyttel to doubt, whether he
were sycke or no: for he halfe beleved that they sayd trouth. Whan
he had gone a lytel farther, the thyrde man mette hym, and sayde:
Jesu! manne, what do you out of your bed? ye loke as ye wolde nat
lyve an houre to an ende. Nowe he doubted greatly, and thought
verily in his mynde, that he had hadde some sharpe ague; wherfore
he stode styll and wolde go no further; and, as he stode, the fourth
man came and sayde: Jesu! man, what dost thou here, and arte so
sycke? Gette the home to thy bedde: for I parceyve thou canste nat
lyve an houre to an ende. Than the foles harte beganne to feynte,
and [he] prayde this laste man that came to hym to helpe hym home.
Yes, quod he, I wyll do as moche for the as for myn owne brother. So
home he brought hym, and layde hym in his bed, and than he fared
with hym selfe, as thoughe he wolde gyve up the gooste. Forth with
came the other felowes, and saide he hadde well done to lay hym in
his bedde. Anone after, came one whiche toke on hym to be a
phisitian; whiche, touchynge the pulse, sayde the malady was so
vehement, that he coulde nat lyve an houre. So they, standynge
aboute the bedde, sayde one to an other: nowe he gothe his waye:
for his speche and syght fayle him; by and by he wyll yelde up the
goste. Therfore lette us close his eyes, and laye his hands a crosse,
and cary hym forth to be buryed. And than they sayde lamentynge
one to an other: O! what a losse have we of this good felowe, our
frende?
The foole laye stylle, as one [that] were deade; yea, and thought
in his mynde, that he was deade in dede. So they layde hym on a
bere, and caryed hym through the cite. And whan any body asked
them what they caryed, they sayd the corps of Nigniaca to his grave.
And ever as they went, people drew about them. Among the prece
ther was a taverners boy, the whiche, whan he herde that it was the
cors of Nigniaca, he said to them: O! what a vile bestly knave, and
what a stronge thefe is deed! by the masse, he was well worthy to
have ben hanged longe ago. Whan the fole harde those wordes, he
put out his heed and sayd: I wys, horeson, if I were alyve nowe, as I
am deed, I wolde prove the a false lyer to thy face. They, that caryed
him, began to laugh so hartilye, that they sette downe the bere, and
wente theyr waye.
By this tale ye maye se, what the perswasion of many doth.
Certaynly he is very wyse, that is nat inclined to foly, if he be stered
thereunto by a multitude. Yet sapience is founde in fewe persones:
and they be lyghtly olde sobre men.

A few further bits are added, being witty sayings from Camden,
Bacon and the Jest Books and manuscripts of the period.

Queen Elizabeth seeing a gentleman in her garden, who had not


felt the effect of her favours so soon as he expected, looking out of
her window, said to him, in Italian, “What does a man think of, Sir
Edward, when he thinks of nothing?” After a little pause, he
answered, “He thinks, Madam, of a woman’s promise.” The queen
shrunk in her head, but was heard to say, Well, Sir Edward, I must
not confute you: Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.

A certain nobleman sold a gentleman a horse for a good round


sum, which he took upon his lordship’s word, that he had no fault.
About three weeks after, he met my lord; “Why, your lordship told
me,” says he, “that your horse had no fault, and he is blind of an
eye.” Well, Sir, says my lord, it is no fault, it is only a misfortune.

A doctor of little learning, and less modesty, having talked much at


table; one, much admiring him, asked another, when the doctor was
gone, if he did not think him a great scholar? The answer was, He
may be learned, for aught I know, or can discover; but I never heard
learning make such a noise.

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