Name: Prapti Hazarika

Department of Psychology, School of Social Science (SSS)

Ramaiah University of Applied Sciences, RUAS

Basic Counselling Skills

Aabharna Sudekar

Date: 25TH November, 2024

 COUNSELLING SKILLS OF SELF-DISCLOSURE AND FEEDBACK

 Immediacy and Genuineness

Immediacy: The most powerful self-disclosures are usually made in the here and

now, the present tense (“Right now I feel . . .”). “I am hurting for you at this moment—I

care.” However, variations in tense are used to strengthen or soften the power of a self-

disclosure. Making self-disclosures relevant to the client is a complex task involving the

following issues, among others. Immediacy is the potential of the counselor/therapist to use

the immediate situation to invite the client to focus on what is going on between them in the

relationship. It usually feels risky and unfamiliar. It applies the use of the present tense in

this skill. It is one of the most powerful skills in counseling but to be used carefully keeping

in mind when the counselor uses it. Feltham and Dryden (1993: 88) describe immediacy as

the key skill of focusing attention on the here and now the relationship of counselor and client

with helpful timing, to challenge defensiveness and/or heighten awareness. Immediacy is

important and useful for empowering and building the therapeutic relationship between the

counselor and the client, bringing the counseling session into the here-and-now aspect,

increasing awareness of the client and bringing about insight, and addressing maladaptive

patterns in the conflict that are occurring between the counselor and the client. Immediacy

consists of both verbal and nonverbal behaviors. Examples of verbal immediacy behaviors are

the usage of plural pronouns, use of informal addressing, showcasing openness, and use of

compliments and appreciations. Examples of nonverbal immediacy cues are touch, eye

contact, distance, body language, and vocal tone.

Immediacy, tense, and the here and now: The following examples show how the use of here

and now bring immediacy to a session. These may be compared to the there and then of the

past and future tense. Be careful when clients say, “What would you do if you were in my

place?” Clients will sometimes ask you directly for opinions and advice on what you think

they should do. “What do you think I should major in?” “If you were me, would you leave
this relationship?” “Should I indeed have an abortion?” Effective self-disclosure and advice

can potentially be helpful, but it is not the first thing we need to do. Our task is to help the

client make her or his own decisions. The right solution for us may not be the right solution

for the client, and involving ourself too early can foster dependency and lead the client in the

wrong way.

Immediacy and timeliness: If a client is talking smoothly about something, counseling self-

disclosure is not necessary. However, if the client seems to want to talk about a topic but is

having trouble, a slight leading self-disclosure by the counsellor may be helpful. Too deep and

involved a self-disclosure may frighten or distance the client.

Genuineness in self-disclosure: To demonstrate genuineness, the counsellor must truly and

honestly have the feelings, thoughts, or experiences that are shared. Second, self-disclosure

must be genuine and appropriate in relation to the client. Simply tell the client our own story.

For example, if we are working with a client who grew up in an alcoholic family, and we

ourself have had experience in our own family with alcohol, a brief sharing of our own story

can be helpful. The danger of storytelling, of course, is that we can end up spending too much

time on our own issues and neglect the client. Genuineness is the intentional attribute of an

individual’s personality/character which is really experienced and mindfully shared with

others. Genuineness is not harsh or counterfeit; rather it is characterized by realness and

sincerity and is free of hypocrisy itself. Qualities and displaying of genuineness include

honesty, sincerity, openness, and avoidance of defensiveness. Usage of this skill allows the

client to be comfortable and make the chance for valuable inquiry and self- search/self-

awareness. Genuineness is also called congruence. Congruence is one of the most vital

attributes in counseling. The counselor/therapist does not have a façade or effect, that is, the

therapist’s external and internal experiences are the same. To put it in a word, the therapist is

being authentic to the client. There are some benefits of being authentic which also include

trust and respect. When one is true to themselves, they not only trust the judgments and

decisions that they make, but others trust them as well. They’ll respect you for standing by

your beliefs and values. Integrity: When there is authenticity, you also find integrity.
 Concrete Action Strategies for Client Change: Logical Consequences

Concrete action strategies encompass a variety of influencing skills that provide tried and

tested approaches for change and building resilience, one of which is logical consequences. It

is a skill that allows a client to consider the positive and negative consequences of their

actions, as well as alternate actions. Clients considering a life change will often benefit from

considering the logical consequences, as well as the advantages and risks of the change.

Understanding the implications of one's actions and decisions can help those in challenging

situations—whether it's college decisions, career challenges, or family relationships. This

strategy of logical consequences is particularly important in making decisions and is used in

many theoretical approaches to the interview. It is most often a gentle strategy used to help

people sort through issues when a decision needs to be made. It may be useful to rank

alternatives when a complex decision is faced. The logical consequences strategy was

developed by Alfred Adler in 1924 and is one of the most commonly used skill to assist

people think logically through concerns when making a decision. Many clients find it helpful

to rank alternatives when faced with a difficult decision, and the interviewer or counselor

fosters understanding of the probable logical consequences of each action.

When clients can picture the possible consequences of almost any given activity, they can

make better judgments. Adler was more eager to help people grow than tackling problems.

The objective is to encourage clients to take independent actions by using "you decide,"

which gives them authority and shows them that they can take charge rather than allowing

others to dictate what they do. The interviewer helps individuals explore alternatives, consider

consequences of alternatives, and facilitate decision making among the possibilities. For

example, an individual may come to the interview aware that changing jobs offers more pay

but less aware of the effects of a move to a new city. Through systematic questioning and

discussion, the interviewer can help the client clarify the factors involved in the decision.

Potential negative consequences could include leaving a smoothly functioning and friendly

workgroup, disrupting long-term friendships, moving to a new school, and other factors that
may cause problems. Positive consequences might be a pay raise and the opportunity for

further advancement, a better school system, and money for a new home. In another use of

logical consequences, the interviewer or counsellor may need to help clients become aware of

the potential negative consequences of their actions. Virtually all human behaviour has costs

and benefits. By involving the client in examining the pluses and minuses of alternatives, the

counsellor gives the client the power to make a better decision or at least to share his or her

thinking more openly. Consider the following suggestions for using the strategy of logical

consequences:

1. Through listening skills, make sure you understand the situation and the way your client

understands it. After drawing out the situation, either you or the client can summarize what is

happening.

2. Use questions and brainstorming to help the client generate alternatives for resolving

issues. Where necessary, provide additional alternatives for consideration.

3. Work with the client to outline both the positive and negative consequences of any potential

decision or action. In important cases, ask the client to generate a possible future story of

what might happen if a particular choice is made. For example, “Imagine two years from now.

What will your life be like if you choose the alternative we just discussed?”

4. As appropriate to the situation, provide clients with a summary of positive and negative

consequences in a nonjudgmental manner.

5. Encourage client decision making as much as possible.

The following points can be considered while employing the logical consequences

technique:

o Make sure you understand the situation and how your client perceives it by using your

listening abilities. Draw out the story, summarize it, and encourage your client to do the

same.

o Create alternate resolutions by asking questions and brainstorming and recommend more

ideas if necessary.
 o Outline the positive and negative implications of any prospective decision to the client

without being judgmental. Furthermore, planning for the future can be beneficial.

o "Assume it's two years from now. What will your life be like if you make the decision to

choose and act on what we've explored?"

o As much as possible, encourage clients to make their own decisions.

Logical Consequences Using Listening Skills

By using questioning skills, we can encourage clients to think through the possible

consequences of their actions. (“What result might you anticipate if you did that?” “What

results are you obtaining right now while you continue to engage in that behaviour?”)

However, questioning and paraphrasing the situation may not always be enough to make

clients fully aware of the logical consequences of their actions. For each client and situation,

write logical consequences statements that help the client understand the situation more fully.

 Information/ psychoeducation

Giving the client information, offering psychoeducation and our opinions, or making

suggestions can be an important part of interviewing and counseling. However, be aware that

advice giving is fraught with danger; unless clients actively seek the advice, they will rarely

hear or heed even the best of suggestions. When listening to counsellors who provide

information and psychoeducation, the client

needs to be in charge and actually want to hear and learn something new, and in many

situations the information is welcome. Career and college counseling must provide students

with career and college admissions information, and here the teen may actually listen.

Students facing critical life decisions frequently want to know your opinions and advice. A

family member caring for an older parent often desperately wants advice on how to handle

this extremely challenging part of life, particularly around death and dying and hospice

referral. Psychoeducation involves a more formal and systematic set of strategies that can be
influential in helping clients move to new places in their lives. Social skills training—

basically teaching the micro-skills of this book to clients—has become a major part of most

counsellor and therapist options for treatment planning. In addition, micro-skills are a central

part of most peer counseling training programs. Psychoeducation strategies are often taught in

groups (meditation, relaxation training, assertiveness training, dating skills, multicultural

awareness, etc.). But these same strategies are equally, if not more, e ffective if taught on the

spot to clients as part of the session. When listening to counsellors who provide information

and psychoeducation, the client needs to be in charge and actually want to hear and learn

something new, and in many situations the information is welcome

and therapist options for treatment planning. Effective directives require an expansion of the

“1-2-3” pattern-

1. Involve your client as co-participant in the directive strategy. Rather than simply tell the

client what to do, be sure that you have heard the story, issues, and problems su fficiently.

Inform the client what you are going to do and the likely result. Some practitioners like to use

surprises (e.g., Gestalt theory), and this strategy can be useful in some situations. But as a

general rule, we urge working with, rather than working on, your client.

2. Use appropriate visuals, vocal tone, verbal following, and body language. Your attending

behaviours need to flex in response to the needs of the client. Usually, a more forward and

active behavioural style is needed when challenging an acting-out teen or an outgoing client.

You may need a stronger persona with even clearer verbal and nonverbal behaviour. With a

quieter and more tentative client, appropriate attending may require being more still and

tentative as you share new ways of thinking about issues. Directives given softly can be very

effective.

3. Be clear and concrete in your verbal expression and time the directive to meet client needs.

Directives need to be authoritative and clear but also stated in such a way that they are in tune

with the needs of the client.

4. Check out whether your directive was heard and understood. Just because you think you

are clear doesn’t mean the client understands what you said. Explicitly or implicitly check to
make sure your directive is understood. This is particularly important when a more complex

directive has been given. The relaxation response defined. In brief, clients learn to attend to

body sensations and note the buildup of tension. Then before the tension takes over, they draw

on the relaxation response. They may draw a deep breath, focus for a moment on a positive

image, and then

allow the muscles to relax. At the deeper level, clients learn to be attentive to the here and

now almost constantly, have a relaxed, easy style, and flow through the day rather than

fighting minute by minute. Few of us reach that wonderful, deeper state as our natural way of

being, but with practice, we can come close to attaining a life that is more relaxed and real.

Relaxation training as the basis for the response. In 1934 Edmund Jacobson pioneered the

scientific study of relaxation with his book You Must Relax. Jacobson used a sophisticated

approach, oriented to treatment of both regular tension and severe psychological distress. He

considered relaxation training a necessary part of any therapeutic situation. But it was Herbert

Benson who popularized the use of relaxation techniques in medicine.

Mindfulness Meditation and Mindfulness

Jon Kabat-Zinn (2005) has also researched and promoted relaxation as a technique to help

people cope with stress, pain, and anxiety. Kabat-Zinn calls his technique the “body scan,”

which he uses with mindfulness meditation. Th e body scan is basically the same as Benson’s

relaxation methods described earlier. One of Allen and Mary’s helpful life experiences

occurred over several weeks when they participated in Kabat-Zinn’s systematic program and

learned mindfulness meditation. This technique is usually preferred by most practitioners over

the body scan and systematic relaxation. But we do not believe that interviewers, counsellors,

and therapists should teach mindfulness unless they have sufficient training and have

practiced it themselves. Mindfulness may require a lifestyle change for many. Mindfulness

meditation is derived primarily from Buddhist thought and practice. There is no “goal” except

perhaps to live as much as possible in the immediate here and now. Similar in some ways to

relaxation, practitioners usually lie comfortably on the floor or sit in a suit-

able chair, then close their eyes. The focus becomes the Now and paying special attention to

breathing, noting the breath come in and out. You may want to breathe in with one nostril and

out with the other as this tends to help one focus on the Now. Thoughts and feelings will

likely start running through your mind. Do not fight them; let them come, but as they enter

your Now awareness, let them drift off . After practice, usually several weeks, you may find a

near perfect “stillness” and

awareness of the present moment. Th ere is clear evidence that this state alone allows new

neural connections to develop in positive areas of the brain. If you keep this up, you will

eventually notice the here and now more fully throughout the day. You’ll notice the beauty of

the world in new ways. Your partner or lover will appear very differently to you because you

are in the moment. Imagery directives are often the most powerful directives and must be

used with care. Images are particularly effective in helping clients experience the

sensorimotor style. Many children and young people like the freedom and creativity allowed

in this type of directive. Imagery exercises need to be followed by a debriefing in which the

interviewer discusses follow-up action with the client. Exploration of negative images is

highly inappropriate and often unethical, unless the interviewer is fully qualified, and the time

and situation are appropriate for the client. False memories can easily occur and do harm to

the client.

Physical Exercise and Nutrition

A sound body is fundamental to mental health. Moving the body increases blood flow, and an

exercise routine has been found to help reduce stress and depression. Proper eating habits and

a regime of stretching and meditation make a difference in the life of your clients. Teaching

clients how to nourish their bodies is becoming a standard part of counseling. We love and

work more effectively if we are comfortable in our bodies. It has even been suggested that it

is unethical not to include the recommendation for exercise in all treatment programs.

Thought-Stopping

This strategy is a brief but effective intervention. If you take the time to learn and practice

thought-stopping on yourself, you gain a valuable tool to increase your self-esteem and
 effectiveness. Thought-stopping is useful for all kinds of client problems: perfectionism,

excessive culture-based guilt or shame, shyness, and mild depression. This is one of our

favourite strategies, and we have found it very helpful to us and our clients over the years. It

stops our negative thinking about ourselves or someone who is troubling us.

Free Association

“Take that feeling/image/issue and focus on it for a moment. Then, close your eyes, free

associate, and let whatever comes to your mind flow in to it.” Originating in the

psychoanalytic movement, this strategy enables clients to reflect back from the here and now

to times in the past when they might have had similar thoughts and

feelings to what you are observing now. This often provides a critical link that helps both you

and the client understand the historical basis of the present issue.

A more straightforward approach is simply to say, “Stop for a moment and allow yourself to

go inside. (pause) What occurs for you at this moment?” or “Stay with that

feeling . . .magnify it. (pause) Now, what just flashed into your mind?” Free association is

best used with self-directed and reflective formal-operational clients.

But note that it starts with here-and-now sensorimotor experience. Many clients will be able

to identify feelings in specific places in their body that represent the flashback.

 Stress management

Stress affects us in lots of ways, both physically and emotionally, and in varying intensities.

Research has shown that stress can sometimes be positive. It makes us more alert and helps us

perform better in certain situations. However, stress has only been found to be beneficial if it

is short-lived. Excessive or prolonged stress can lead to illnesses such as heart disease and

mental health problems such as anxiety and depression. During situations that make you feel

threatened or upset, your body creates a stress response. This can cause a variety of physical

symptoms, change the way you behave, and lead you to experience more intense emotions.
 Everyone experiences stress. However, when it affects your life, health and well-being, it’s

important to tackle it as soon as possible. While stress affects everyone differently, there are

common signs and symptoms for you to look out for:

o Feelings of constant worry or anxiety

o Feelings of being overwhelmed

o Difficulty concentrating

o Mood swings or changes in mood

o Irritability or having a short temper

o Difficulty relaxing

o Depression

o Low self-esteem

o Eating more or less than usual

o Changes in sleeping habits

o Using alcohol, tobacco or illegal drugs to relax

o Aches and pains, particularly muscle tension

o Diarrhoea and constipation

o Feelings of nausea or dizziness

o Loss of sex drive

When you are feeling stressed, try to take these steps:

 Realise when it is causing you a problem. You need to make the connection between feeling

tired or ill, with the pressures you are faced with. Don’t ignore physical warnings such as

tense muscles, over-tiredness, headaches or migraines.

 Identify the causes. Try to identify the underlying causes. Group the possible reasons for

your stress into those with a practical solution, those that will get better anyway given time,

and those you can’t do anything about. Try to let go of those in the second and third groups –

there’s no point in worrying about things you can’t change or things that will sort themselves

out.
 Review your lifestyle. Are you taking on too much? Are there things you are doing which

could be handed over to someone else? Can you do things in a more leisurely way? You may

need to prioritise things you are trying to achieve and reorganise your life so that you are not

trying to do everything at once.

You can also help protect yourself from stress in a number of ways:

o Eat healthily. A healthy diet will reduce the risks of diet-related diseases. Also, there is a

growing amount of evidence showing how food affects our mood. Feelings of well-being

can be protected by ensuring that our diet provides adequate amounts of brain nutrients

such as essential vitamins and minerals, as well as water.

o Be aware of your smoking and drinking. Even though they may seem to reduce

tension, this is misleading as they often make problems worse.

o Exercise. Physical exercise can be very effective in relieving stress. Even going out to get

some fresh air and doing some light physical exercise, like walking to the shops, can help.

o Take time out. Take time to relax. Saying ‘I just can’t take the time off’ is no use if you

are forced to take time off later through ill health. Striking a balance between

responsibility to others and responsibility to yourself is important in reducing stress

levels.

o Be mindful. Mindfulness meditation can be practised anywhere at any time. Research has

suggested that it can reduce the effects of stress, anxiety and other related problems such

as insomnia, poor concentration and low moods, in some people.

o Get restful sleep. Sleeping problems are common when you’re suffering from stress. Try

to make sure you get enough rest.

o Don’t be too hard on yourself. Try to keep things in perspective. After all, we all have

bad days.

 Therapeutic lifestyle changes

In 1943, psychologist Abraham Maslow introduced the concept of a hierarchy of

needs in a paper titled "A Theory of Human Motivation” and later expounded on this theory
in his book, Motivation and Personality. Maslow suggests that people are motivated to fulfil

basic needs before moving on to other more advanced needs.

In order to incorporate Therapeutic Lifestyle Change into our lives, we need to ensure our

basic needs are met. Dr. Custard-Mobley states that we are all different individuals and will

therefore have different needs. Identifying which of your current needs are met and which

ones are not is crucial.‍Things that can considered a lifestyle change, are:

 Nutrition

 Exercise

 Stress management

 Positive relationships

 A positive mindset

 Spirituality

 Nature

 Participating in activities that you enjoy

The benefits of incorporating Therapeutic Lifestyle Change into your life include

improvements to your physical and mental health as well as increasing your lifespan. Dr.

Custard-Mobley argues that “When these things are taken care of, you’re helping the

body to become more resilient so that it can rebound from tough situations when they do

occur.” Not only are we improving our overall health right now, but we are contributing

to our health in the future. Now, in this case, the pros to this type of change far outweigh

the cons. However, it is still important to be realistic and recognize the difficulties of

Therapeutic Lifestyle Change. Therapeutic Lifestyle Change can be difficult to

implement. And, as in all things, you may have to give up something now to gain

something better later. For example, you may have to sacrifice your time, money, or old

habits. However, keeping in mind your “why” for the change can make the sacrifices

seem small.
 Now that we understand the benefits of a therapeutic lifestyle change, we can start the

implementation process. However, before we dive in, a word of caution when starting

down the Therapeutic Lifestyle Change path: it is impossible to incorporate all the

changes you may want to make at once. In fact, trying to incorporate everything at the

same time can lead to feelings of overwhelm.

In order to give yourself the best shot at success, break down your desired outcomes

into bite-sized pieces. Using things such as S.M.A.R.T (specific, measurable, achievable,

relevant, and time-bound) goal planning is a great place to start. Dr. Custard-Mobley

advises that consistency, realism, and authenticity are crucial to implementing any kind

of change in your life.

 Reference

Ivey et al. - 2010 - Intentional interviewing and counseling facilitat.pdf

https://www.nivati.com/blog/therapeutic-lifestyle-change-what-it-is-and-how-it-can-support-mental-

health#:~:text=In%20the%20realm%20of%20mental,it%20relates%20to%20their%20needs.

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/publications/how-manage-and-reduce-stress