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PUBL PEAKN
CHOICES AND RESPONSIBILITY

WILLIAM KEITH· CHRISTIAN 0. LUNDBERG

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ICHOICES AND RESPONSIBILITY
: # WADSWORTH
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Wllflam Keith, Christian 0. Lundberg
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Printed in China
2 3 4 5 6 7 16 15 14 13
 Contents
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P1"i fac xi

Public Speaking 3
Introduction: Why L am Public Speaking? 4 Your Goals (Chapter 5) 18
h ls Powerful 4 Creating Your First
Th Power of Public Speaking to Change the World 5 Speech 19
Th Power of Speeches to Change Your World 5 Information and Arguments
peaking Connects You to Others: Democracy (Chapters 6, 7) 19
In Everyday Life 6 Research (Chapter 8) 20
The Conversational Framework 7 Organizing (Chapter 9) 20
The Communication Process 9 Finding the Words (Chapter 10) 21

The Public in Public Speaking 10 Giving Your First Speech 22

Delivering the Speech (Chapter 11) 22
Speaking Is About Making Choices 12 Overcoming Anxiety (Chapter 11) 23
Preparation 12 Presentation Aids (Chapter 12) 23
Informing 14
Persuading 14 Making Responsible Choices 24
Good Speeches Are the Result of Choices 24
The Speaking Process: Thinking, Creating, Taking Responsibility Means Respecting the Audience 24
and Speaking 16
Thinking Through Your Choices 17
Your Responsibilities (Chapter 2) 17
Your Audience (Chapters 3, 4) 17

Ethics and the Responsible Speaker 27

Introduction: Why Ethics Matter in Public Speaking 28 How to Create an Ethical
Ethical Pitfalls in Public Speaking 29 Speech 39
Deceptive Speech 29 Respect Your Audience 39
Inappropriately Biased Speech 31 Respect Your Topic 40
Poorly Reasoned Speech 32 Present Other Views and
Treat Them Fairly 42
Seven Principles of Ethical Public Speaking 32
BeHonest 33 Avoid Fallacies and Prejudicial Appeals 43
BeOpen 33 Name Calling 43
Be Generous 34 Glittering Generalities 43
Be Balanced 34 Inappropriate Testimonials 44
Represent Evidence Responsibly 35 Plain-Folks Appeals 44
Take Appropriate Risks 36 Card Stacking 44
Choose Engagement 36 Bandwagoning 45

How to Avoid Plagiarism 37

•
2

r
 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. .. . .. . ... ... . . . . . . . . . . . .. .. . . . . . . . . .. . . . .. .. . . . . . . . . . .. . . .. . . . . . . . . . . .
Understanding Audiences and Publics 47
Introduction: Those People Sitting in Fro nt of You 4 8 Two Views of the Audience:
Audience Analysis 49 Marketing vs.
The Literal Audience: Demographics 49 Engagement 55
Problems With the Demographic Approach 51 Marketing 55
Engagement 56
The Rhetorical Audience 51
The "As" Test 52 The Audience and the
From "Me" to "Us" 54 Public 58
Advancing the Public Conversation 59
Adapting Your Speech to Your Audience 54
Identify Common Interests 54 Your Responsibilities to Your Audience 60
Make the Most of Shared Experience 55
Work from Common Premises 55
Be Directive 55

.... .......................................................................................
Becoming a Skilled Listener 65
Introduction: Public Hearing and Listening 66 Giving Constructive and
Types of Listening 66 Useful Feedback 77
Passive Listening 66 Criticize Speeches, Not
Active Listening 67 People 79
Critical Listening 68 Be Specific 79
Focus on What Can Be
The Ethics of Listening 69 Changed 79
Obstacles to Good Listening 71 Be Communication Sensitive 80
Distractions 72
Your Mental Zone 73
Taking Good Notes 74

...........................................................................................
Choosing a Topic and Purpose 85
Introduction: Picking a Topic How to Focus Your Topic
and Defining Your Purpose 86 for Your Audience 93
Geography or Location 93
A Strategy for Picking a Topic 86
Past, Present, or Future 94
What Interests You? 88
Typical Audience
What Will Interest Your Audience? 88
Interests 94
What Is the Occasion? 88
What Is Your Purpose? 89 Speaking Purposes and Speaking Situations 95
What Is Your Thesis? 89 General Purposes of Speeches 95
Types of Speaking Situations 95
How to Find a Topic Among Your Interests 90
Time Constraints 98
What Do You Already Know or Care About? 90
What Do You Want to Know More About? 91 The Thesis Statement: Putting Your
Brainstorming 91 Purpose Into Words 98
Choosing One of Your Topic Ideas 92

• CONTENTS
 ······················-· · · · · ······· · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · ··· · · · · · · · · · · ··· · ··· · · · · · · · ···· · · • · " '
Informative Speaking 103
Introduction: T lling It Like It Is l04 Technlqut'S of rnformatlvP
Goals of Informative peaking l05 Spt:'nl<lng 11r,
P1 ent New Information lOti Deflnlnl( I In
Provide Ne, Perspectives 107 D�s rlhln� 11.l'i
Generate Positive 01· N gntlVl' l�eellngs 108 Explaining 117
How to Choose nn Int'ormnt.lve Gonl 100 hole s 'fhat Make
The Responsibilities of the Informative Speaker 110 Information Effective 119
Keep It Simple 119
Topics for Informative Speech s 112 Connect Your Topic to Your Audience l lf.J
Objects and Events 112 Use Supporting Material Wisely 120
People 113
Choose Effective Organizational Patt rns 120
Processes 113
Choose Effective Language 121
Ideas 114

...........................................................................................
Being Persuasive 125
Introduction: Giving the Audience Proofs 126 Formal Arguments
(Deductive
Ethos: Why Audiences Should Believe You 128 Reasoning) 139
Classical Dimensions of Ethos 130
Causal Arguments 140
Why Are You Speaking on This Topic? 130
Arguments From
Pathos: The Framework of Feelings 131 Analogy 141
Appeals to Positive Emotions 132 Arguments From Signs 142
Fear and Other Negative Appeals 133 Arguments From Authority 143
Framing 134
What About the Other Side? Dealing
Logos: Who Needs an Argument? 135 with Counterarguments 144
Making Connections: The Process of Reasoning 138 Why Addressing Counterarguments Is Persuasive 144
Tips for Dealing With Counterarguments 144
Types of Arguments 138
Arguments From Examples (Inductive Reasoning) 138

......................................... ..................................................
Research 149
Introduction: Becoming an Expert 150 Biogs 163
News Articles 164
Researching Responsibly 151
Opinion or Advocacy
The Research Process 152 Pieces 164
Figuring Out What You Already Know 153 Scholarly, Peer-Reviewed
Designing a Research Strategy 154 Articles 165
Deciding Where to Go 155 Wilds 165
Making a Methodical Search 158 Websites and Web Pages 165
How to Conduct an Online Search 158 Revising Your Claims 166
Creating Search Terms 158
Focusing Your Search 159 Organizing Your Research Information 166
Gathering Your Materials 160 Choosing the Sources for Your Speech 167
Reading Your Materials and Taking Notes 161 Citing Your Sources and Avoiding Plagiarism 168
Evaluating Sources 163 Getting Help From a Research Expert 169

CONTENTS •
 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Organization 173
Introduction: Getting Organiz d 174 Patterns of
ThP Basic Three-Parl Structure 174 Organization 184
Chronological 184
The lntroduct ion 176 Spatial 186
Fu net Ions of an Efft'ctlvc I nlroducl.lon 176 Cause and Effect 186
Ell•ml'nts oftlw Introduction 176
Problem-Solution 188
The Body 179 Topical 188
Functions of the Dody 180 Combination 190
Point 180 Choosing the Order of Points: Prima.c.-y vs. P.ect:n,~1 l/.,
Transitions 180
Arranging Your Supporting Materials 192
Internal Previews 181
Outlining 193
The Conclusion 183
Outline Structure 193
Functions of the Conclusion 183
Preparation and Delivery Outlines 194
Elements of the Conclusion 183

.. ......................... ...................................... .........................

Verbal Style 197
Introduction: What Is Style, and Why Tropes 207
Does It Matter? 198 Tropes of Comparison:
Characteristics of Effective Style 198 Metaphor and Simile 207
Concrete and Lively Language 199 The Trope of Substitution:
Respectful Language 199 Metonymy 209
Tropes of Exaggeration:
Classifying Verbal Style: Figures and Tropes 201 Overstatement
Figures 201 and Understatement 210
Figures of Repetition 201 The Trope of Voice: Personification 211
Figures of Contrast 204 Matching the Style to the Topic and the Occasion

...........................................................................................
Delivery 215
Introduction: Stand and Deliver 216 Walking 229
Speaking or Talking? 217 Using Gestures 230

Creating Focus and Energy From Your Anxiety 218 Communicating

Credibility 230
Types of Preparation and Delivery 220 Making Eye Contact 231
Speaking From Memory 220 Choosing Your
Speaking From Manuscript 220 Appearance 232
Extemporaneous Speaking 221
Impromptu Speaking 221 How to Practice Delivering Your Speech 232
Staying on Time 222 Practice, All the Way Through, at Least Four Times n:.
Practice in Front of an Audience 233
Types of Speaking Aids 223 Practice Making Mistakes 233
Using Your Voice Effectively 224 Breathe, Breathe, Breathe 234
Volume 224 Answering Questions from the Audience 234
Speed 226 Anticipating Questions 235
Articulation 226 Interpreting the Questions 235
Inflection 227 Giving Your Answers 235
Using Your Body Effectively 228
Standing 228

• CONTENTS
 ............................................. ..... .. ..................................... ..
Presentation Aids 239
Introduction: Adding Media to Your Message 240 Non-Electronic Media 253
Why Use Presentation Aids? 241 Handouts 253
Posters and l<'lip Charts 254
Principles for Integrating Presentation Aids 241 Objects 254
Static Visual Elements 246 Demonstration Speeches
Pictures and Photos 245 and Presentation
Charts and Graphs 247
Aids 266
Maps and Diagrams 251
Text 252 Presentation Software 256
Moving Images 262 Delivering Your Speech With Presentation Aids 259
Preparing to Use Digital Media 260
Audio 253
Developing a Backup Plan for Digital Media 260

··························································································
Special Types of Speeches
and Presentations 263
Adapting Your Skills to New Challenges 264 Group Presentations 277
Speeches at Life Transitions 264 Cooperation 277
Toasts 266 Coordination 279
Eulogy 268 Delivering the Group
Graduation 270 Presentation 280
Rehearsing the Group
Speeches at Ceremonies 272 Presentation 280
Introducing a Speaker 272
After-Dinner Speaking 274
Presenting an Award 275

Appendix: Selected Speeches 282

Statement to the Iowa House Judiciary Committee by Statement on Behalf of the African National
Zach Wahls 282 Congress, on the Occasion of the Adoption by the
Rated "D" for Deficiency: The Sunshine Vitamin by Constitutional Assembly of the Republic of South
Nicole Platzar 284 Africa Constitution Bill 1996 by Deputy President
Thabo Mbeki 294
Speech at Kensington Town Hall ("Britain Awake")
(The Iron Lady) 287 The Perils of Indifference by Elie Wiesel 298

Endnotes 301
Index 304

CONTENTS •
----·
Preface

Those of us who teach public speaking know that the abilicy to engage an audi­
ence with skill, elegance, and clarity can make a decisive impact in the lives of students.
The difference between success and failure in a student's academic work, personal re­
lationships, and vocational path can often turn on the ability to create ethical and effec­
tive speech. Although future personal success is one important reason a student should
cultivate skill in public speech, it is not the only reason. In an increasingly globalizing
and information-saturated world, educating more engaged, informed, and responsible
public speakers may well be one of the last and best hopes for our civic and democratic
life together. In an era of hyperpartisan politics and creeping disillusionment with pub­
lic discourse and the political system, our best recourse may be turning to the ancient
arts of rhetoric and public speaking. These arts can teach us, once again, how to really
listen to, respond to, and respectfully engage with our fellow citizens. Thus, this book
seeks to remake an art with ancient roots for modem times, or, to put it in more con­
temporary terms, to remix an ancient beat for the information era
We wrote PUBLIC SPEAKING: Choices and Responsibility because we be­
lieve firmly that public speaking matters profoundly to our personal and collective
futures. We hope this text embodies a vision of public speaking that is accessible,
easy to engage, and relevant to our students without sacrificing the most important
lessons the tradition of public speaking has to teach us. While many approaches to
public speaking present a catalogue of tips and techniques for giving a speech, we
have attempted to create a simple framework for helping students learn to be better
public speakers.
This framework is easy to understand and teach, and better yet, it pays homage to
the best insight of the traditions of public speaking, which is that addressing any au­
dience is about making choices and taking responsibility. For us, "making choices"
means seeing every public speech as a collection of decisions that starts with invent­
ing a topic, moves through effective research, organization, and delivery, and ends
with successful interaction with an audience. "Taking responsibility" means owning
your choices, both by making them very intentionally and by accepting the obligation
to be responsive to the audience.
In making these two concepts the core of the book, we believe we have provided
a set of guiding principles that ties many of the best insights of public speaking peda­
gogy together around a central theme and that satisfies the demands of the current
generation of students for broader civic and social engagement. The style of the book
also reflects our concern not only to engage students but also to inspire them to use
their voices to make a difference in their communities, future workplaces, and the
broader public sphere. Many of our examples are directly relevant to student's every­
day lives; others are drawn from issues that occupy the front pages of newspapers,
websites, and social media sources. In both cases, our goal is to provide students with
examples that are relevant and engaging and that demonstrate the importance of pub­
lic speaking to the broader health of civic life.
To create a text that is intuitive, easy to teach and learn from, and engaging to
students, we have placed special emphasis on significant themes. In the introductory
chapter we emphasize the world-changing power of public speech, and we introduce
 st11de nts t.o our cen t ral con cepts of making choices and taking responsibilit
y \,
them. Our goal here is to "pu t the public back in public peaking" �Y introd cing �
� � ,�
den ts to the idea that every speech bot h targets a specific strategic goal (mfonni
ni
or persua ding an audience, for exa mple) and si multaneously fonns a pa rt of the lar
er public conversation around issues important to each of us. In addition, studrn ;
need to unde rstand that this is also the best approach to speaking in professional a �
n
business contexts. Speeches here need to be well argu ed and researched and cleari
organized, just like those in the civic context. If a "pu blic" is a group of people wii�
a common set of concerns, then there are publics bot� intern� and ext ernal to an
\
business or organization. The basic skills of good choice-making can be applied 1,,
nearly any context.
To help get students up and speaking, and more importantly, to give them a ba�ir
understanding of the choices that go into an effective public speech, in Chapter
1
we provide a brief, early overview of the process of creating and delivering a PUhlir·
speech. Perhaps most significantly for many first-time speakers, this chapte r tackJf'\
the issue of speech anxiety head on, offering effective introductory advice for dealin�
with public-speaking jitters.
Because this book is so centrally concerned with the idea of responsible speak.
ing in personal, work, and public contexts, Chapter 2 on ethics is the first subs tantive
chapter of the book. We believe our approach to ethics will resonate with contempo.
rary students because instead of simply producing a list of dos and don'ts, we have
provided a set of principles for thinking about ethical public speaking practice as an
intrinsic element of every communicative interaction. The chapter treats all the stan.
<lard topics in an ethics chapter-including properly citing sources, accurately rt0pre­
senting evidence, avoiding deception and prejudicial appeals--but it does so L the
broader context of encouraging students to think about the health and quality the
relationship they are establishing with their audience.
To be ethically sound and strategically effective, good public speaking sho1. ·,e­
gin and end with thinking about the audience. In Chapter 3 we discuss how th ng
about the audience influences the choices speakers make and the ways they :hr
take responsibility for the audience in composing and delivering speeches. Not c io
we talk about skills at the core of good public speaking in this chapter-for ex, le.
analyzing and adapting to your audience-but we emphasize thinking about uc
speaking as an opportunity for engaging the audience in a conversation around ies
of personal and public concern. Our goals in this chapter are to take advantage 1he
current sentiment among students, promoted in colleges and universities, for g irer
public and civic engagement and to demonstrate to students that in addressing ,pe­
ci.fic audience, they are also making their views known in the context of a br !der
public conversation.
For the model of public speaking as a part of a broader public conversat ·1 to
work, we believe a public speaking text should present more than just the bes1 ays
to speak to an audience. Thus, Chapter 4 addresses how we should listen. One ,1ur
goals is to help students be better audience members and more responsive spl ,ers
by emphasizing the role of active, critical, and ethically sound listening. We in •1de
detailed advice on eliminating impediments to good listening, taking good note::-. and
giving constructive feedback. But perhaps more importantly, we believe that pri'- tlt>g­
ing listening in the public speaking classroom is a pivotal first step toward i.rnpro1·­
ing the quality of public conversation in that it emphasizes paying attention to Llw
claims of others as a necessary part of participating in a robust and respectf ul public
conversation.
In the subsequent three chapters, we move from a basic framework for rnak·
ing choices and taking responsibility in public speech toward a practically orient·
ed treatment of how to make effective choices in selecting a topic and purpose

• PREFACE
(Chapter 5), ghing an infom1ati e speech (Chapter 6), and giving a persuasive
speech ( hapter 7). hapter provides students a pra tical rubric for making good
speech choices that be t balance their interests, lhcir goals for inlera lion with
the audience. and the nature of the public speaking situation. We provide easily
implementable solutions for picking a topic area, dellning a purpose, generating a
th · statement, and focu ing the speech in light of the occasion and character of
the audience.
Chap er 6 focuses on infonnati e speaking by beginning with thinking about how
our contemporary conte.xt and news media in particular have changed the way we
think about information. More than ever, the culture broadly, and our students specifi­
cally. haYe begun to think about the notion of "spin" in presenting information. Our
goal in this frame is to help students think about responsible choices for presenting
information in a \\'-ay that is clear, well organized, and useful for the audience. This
chapter returns to theme of topic selection to deal with l:he unique challenges of pick­
ing a good informative topic and then moves on to discuss techniques for informative
speaking and the set of choices a speaker might make to ensure that information is
helpful for the audience.
Chapter 7 updates from Aristotle's three modes of proof-logos, ethos, and pa­
thos, or rational argument:, the speaker's character, and emotional appeals-to give
concrete guidance to students in composing and delivering an effective speech.
Though our inspiration is ancient, we draw from contemporary examples to provide a
basic framework for thinking about how to best convince modern audiences through
appeals to reason, character, and emotion. This chapter places special emphasis on
processes of reasoning, not only to help students give better speeches, but also to help
them sharpen their critical thinking skills.
But public speaking is about more than simply using appeals to logic, character, or
emotion. It is also about teachlng students to make claims that are well supported by
evidence. A culture of search engines and social media have fundamentally changed
the way students relate to information, and any public speaking pedagogy worth its
salt needs t-0 take this sea change in information culture into account. Chapter 8 faces
head-on the unique challenges of researchlng in a digital world, providing students
with a detailed guide to navigating a research context substantially more challenging
than it even was a decade ago. Once again emphasizing the central role of making
choices and taking responsibility, our chapter on research provides a detailed, easy­
to-follow, step-by-step protocol for designing a research strategy. Because contempo­
rary students research primarily online, we start with a discussion of all the research
options available to them and provide concrete instructions for effectively searching
the Internet and other sources. Given changes in student research practices, we place
a heavy emphasis on methodical searching, including designing and keeping track
of search tenns, and on focusing research efforts amid the near-avalanche of online
sources from which students can choose. Because today's student often struggles with
what to use and how best to use it, we devote parts of the chapter to evaluating the
credibility of sources and to thinking critically about the role evidence plays in the
composition of a good speech.
Chapter 9 teaches students how best to integrate their claims, arguments, and
evidence in a lucid and compelling format that effectively engages an audience. Our
chapter on organization presents a rubric from thinking about introductions, sign­
posting, the body of a speech, and a good conclusion. But instead of simply offering a
catalogue of possible speech formats or deferring to the nature of the topic for invent­
ing an organizational pattern, we discuss organization as a choice that, like any other,
entails specific advantages and drawbacks. Thus, students should come away with a
set of resources for developing a capacity for critical thinking about organizational
choices.

PREFACE •
 Chapters 10 and 11 deal with verbal style and deli ver y, applyi ng the san1e h·
sic fr amewor k for m akin g choices and taking responsi bi lity tha� we h ave Wovr�.
throughou t the text. Chapter 10 addresses the best of the rhetoncal trnctition's rr'.1
flec tions on lively language use, borrowing fro m a wide range of contemporary an,
1
pop culture discourses to discuss effective choices for the use ?f �gures and trop!'\
including treatm ents of repetition , contrast, comparison, subs titution, exaggeratiri n
and personification. We conclude this chapte r by re flecting on the ways the speak.
er's topic and the occasion might se r ve as a guide to the style choices goo d speak�
t\
make . Chapter 11 extends this same line of thinking to choices to make in deliver.
ing a speech. To help students negotiate these choices, we discuss differ ent typ
e,,
of delivery-from mem ory, f rom a manuscript, extemporaneously , with the help or a
presentation aid, and so on. We conclude this chapter with sections on how best l.ri
practice and effectively handle audience interaction.
We follow physi cal delivery with a detailed and visuall y rich chapter that
applies the principles of choice and responsibility to the use of presentation aido.
Whether the student is using a static visual aid such as a chart, moving ima ge s, an
audio clip, or presentation softw are, we believe applying the basi c frame work or
choices and responsibility can provide important insights. Chapter 12 in cludes an
integrate d section on how to give a demonstration speech, which by its nature h as
a multimedia element. It concludes with a pragmatic, detailed discuss ion ahou1
integrating presentation software into a speech without leaning on it as a replace.
ment for good public-speaking practices. Here we discuss a number of messy �,ut
critically important practicalities that go into effective presentation softwan- ·,e.
including how to think about delivery with presentation software, how to r
tice with and use presentation software in the classroom, and how to deve 1 a
backup plan.
Chapter 13 concludes the text by focusing on other types of speeches and sr :1
occasions. Although a first course will appropriately focus on basic informatiH
persuasive speeches, with classmates as the main audience, students will enco­
many other speaking situations in the world, and these will present new corc ,.
nication challenges. We believe the skills to meet these challenges are exten�
of the skills already learned. Students can easily learn to give effective and ; ,·
pelling speeches at life transitions and ceremonial occasions, and at work in g ·.1p
presentations.
So, we believe we have produced a public speaking curriculum that is
• Comprehensive, but systematically organized around a coherent systen ,r
making good speech choices and taking responsibility for them
• Simple to learn and to teach, always returning to the themes of making chr ,,
and taking responsibility
• Rich in practical advice and concrete detail for composing and deliw •1g
speeches
• Focused on the biggest struggles and conceptual issues public speaking ,Pt·
dents face
• An effective "remix" of ancient arts for the modern world-faithful to the bl'SI
insights of the rhetorical tradition but responsive to the contemporary stuctr1H
in its use of examples, composition and delivery practices, and style
• A curriculu m that puts the civic and relationa l character of public speaking in
the foreground of choice making
We have included a number of instructional features we think advance these
goals. We have tried to compose a visually engaging book, with images that match
the diversity and vitality of contemporary public culture. Each chapter begins with

,:EFACt
a vigne"e that tit� th art\utl " rk of student t tJu, nt nt f tJu, h. ptt>r In to .
Ii rm and nd "itJ, re,iew and di · n qui: Hons, \\ E' ha al lndud«-d t, major
kind f interncth f-e-at\u in the lt>�"t t kffp tudt'nt e1\gn,;tetl Try ltl pt't' nt ru1
e tudent an d wllile wadit tlw t xt. I rovi ling m1 immediate pp rtu-
d n prn 'ti wiU1 the 1wepts in th tJu� Try
" up w rk, think-pail'-sh m rk
k-ature. Q uently sked hrume
fi nlin it ·
.Q. bo. anticl tud
vari u pro.ts f te..�, providing a brief in · · · king
ate uni ulum and toward m f tl1 bigg q ·
impli p
peaking.
ial resources for students iu1d ill b1.1ctors d igned to treamlin t ach­
ing and facllitat leamitlg romplete the teaming packag for P 1JLl SPEAK11 G:
1wi aud Responsibility.

Reso1u--ces for Stt1de11ts

PUBUC SPE,4KING features an outstanditlg array of supplements to assist in malting
this course as meaningful and effective as p0&5ible. Note: If you want. our students to
have acces5 to the online resources for PUBLJ, SPEA.KI. G please be sure to order
them for your course--if you do not order them your students will not have access to
them on the first day of class. These resources can be bundled with every new copy of
the text or ordered separately. Students whose instructors do not order these resources
as a package with the text may purchase then, or access them at cengagebrain
.com. Contact your local Wadsw01th, Cengage Learning sales representat'i:ve for
nwre detail.s.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ... ..
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■ Interactive Video Activities
Interactive Video Activities give your students a chance to watch videos of real
speeches that correspond to the topics in PUBUC SPEAKING. Each speech activity
provides a video of the speech; a full transcript so that viewers can read along; the
speech outline-many in notecard, keyword and sentence form; evaluation questions
so that students are guided through their assessment; and a note-taking tool. While

PREFACE •
 it:'v in� C'RC'h dip, i-uct nts evaluat th e speec h or scenario by completing s hort ai
, <'r nmt 1T1ultiple
ho\ e qu stlons or by embedding notes into the video and sun �
ting th Irr ult� dir ctJ nii
y to th Ir Instructor.

Making holces Simul at ions help students identify the moments of choice 1,
preprutng a p h I an d guid th m in making ethical decisions based on their aIJ.
di n ru1d P aking goal . Th s simulations are built around key topic s and con.
pt in th book, fi•om hoosing a focus and theme to selecting source s and Visua
\
ttid and mo r .

Thi online video upload and grading program improves the learning comprehension
of yolU' public speaking students. With Speech Studio 2.0, students can uplo ad video
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and review their grades and instr uctor feedback . Instructors create courses ancl as­
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grading rubrics, and allow peer review. Grades flow into a gradebook that allow, 'hem
to easily manage their course from within Speech Studio. Grades can also be c 011.
ed for use in lea.ming management systems. Speech Studio's flexibility lends it :· ro
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can be e-mailed to the instructor.
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PREFACE
Random documents with unrelated
content Scribd suggests to you:
 “And what’s your choice in cakes, Miss Caspar?” said the young
man brightly. “Scones or muffins or some of those toppin’ things with
sugar on ’em.”
“Thanks, anything’ll do for me,” said the Principal Girl, as easy as
if she was playing Cinderella. “No fresh tea—quite warm and liquid.
Just as I like it. I’ll pour it out myself. No use offering tea to Mr.
Wingrove. A whisky and apollinaris, and—I didn’t catch your name—
hadn’t you better have another one yourself?”
Oh, how rippin’! The heir to the barony was wreathed in smiles.
But the rude girl opposite stared considerable at this simple
spontaneity and natural ease of bearing.
“Such a bore,” said Arminius. “Got to go to-morrah to the Cassel.
Daresay, Lady Adela, I shall meet you there.”
“Papa is so poorly,” said the rude girl, thawing some. “But, of
course, Aunt Selina will explain it to the Cassel as she is in waiting
there just now.”
“Don’t know Blackhampton?” said Cinderella. “Oh, but you ought
to know; it is every Englishman’s duty to know Blackhampton. Dear,
dirty old Blackhampton!” said the Principal Girl. “The very best town
in England. You are always sure of your friends in front when you
play in Blackhampton.”
The heir to the barony supposed it was so. Not in any perfunctory
spirit. How do you suppose the young chap could be perfunctory with
his divinity drinking her tea, and eating Monsieur Eschoffier’s famous
comfit cakes as though she enjoyed them thoroughly.
Don’t let us heed the rude girl opposite. She is quite safe in the
competent hands of Arminius.
“Here’s your whisky and polly,” said the Principal Girl; “and Mr.
Wingrove’s, too. Better have some more tea, I think. Miss Percival
and Lady Adela are going to have some to keep me company. Oh,
yes, please. And I say, waiter, have you any of those cakes with
currants in them, like you get at Blackhampton?”
The waiter said he would inquire.
 Never mind the rude girl opposite; Arminius has her in hand. With
that chaste pair of yellow gloves and his knowledge of the world, he
will be able to manage her, no doubt. A Miss Caspar—Drury Lane—
going far said those who knew—the Backinghams were taking her
up—the stock was bound to go higher. Sorry that the stage had no
interest for Lady Adela. Yes, the Cassel was looking awfully well just
now, in every way quite its own bright and cheery Presence.
The heir to the barony said he had been to Blackhampton.
“Only once—but I’ve been there.”
“Oh, how interesting!—to play for the Olympians against
Blackhampton Rovers—no—really—I didn’t catch your name—why
who are you?”
“My name is Shelmerdine,” said the heir to the barony, as
modestly as the circumstances permitted.
“Why—the Mr. Shelmerdine!”
If there was such a person as the Mr. Shelmerdine, the heir to the
barony feared it was a true bill.
Cinderella, with her provincial naïveté, didn’t know that lords and
people did such democratic things as these.
“Do all sorts of wild things when you are up at the ’Varsity,” said
the heir to the barony. “And, of course, you know, that was before my
guv’nor got his leg up.”
“Now it is no good your being modest, is it?” said Cinderella.
“Because I know all about you. It was you who kicked those three
goals against Scotland in Nineteen Four.”
The confusion of the heir to the barony was dire.
“Not a bit of good your blushing, is it? I saw the match—I was
only a flapper then playing Fairy Footlight at the Royal Caledonian,
Glasgow, and I went with my Aunt Bessie to Celtic Park, and saw
you kick three goals, and I won tons of chocolates off the Scotchies
in the Company, because I had put my pinafore on old England, as I
always have, and as I always shall—”
 “—They say the new system of drainage at the Cassel—”
“—Steve Bloomer himself couldn’t have done better than you did
that day—and it is no use your being modest, is it?—”
“—And the Kaiser is one of the most charming and well informed
men I have ever—”
“And so you are really the great Phil Shelmerdine, with your hair
brushed just as nice as ever. Even when I was a flapper and wore a
blue ribbon round my pigtail, I used to think your hair was lovely. You
ought never to have left off playing socker; but I suppose you kind of
had to when Mr. Vandeleur made a peer of your poor father. But
England needs you more than ever now that Steve is on the shelf.”
“Don’t you find the theater a very trying profession, Miss
Caspar?” said nice, sensible Cousin Jane from Cumberland. “Aren’t
the late hours a fearful strain?”
“One sort of gets used to them,” said Cinderella. “I’m as strong as
a pony; and it’s great fun; and it is wonderful how one gets to love
the British public.”
“And how the British public gets to love you, Miss Caspar—not, of
course, that I mean that that is wonderful.”
Not so bad for a very dull young man. We only hope the young
fellow won’t get out of his depth, that’s all.
“Oh, Homburg is the greatest bore of all.” The seventh unmarried
daughter suspended the story of her sorrows to train a gaze of
twenty-four candle-power upon the heir.
“I shall never forget your Cinderella—and such a cold as you had!
But it seems to be better now.”
“The best way with a cold is to pretend you haven’t got it.”
“And I shall always remember the way you sang ‘Arcadee,’ and
‘Nelson and his Gentlemen in Blue.’ We were in a box, you know,
second tier on the left, my friend Clapham and his five kids—lost
their mother last year—and their nannas. They simply howled with
joy. That little Marge is a nailer. I should like you to see her, Miss
Caspar, and when she grows up she’ll be just like you.”
Miss Insolence opposite rose in the majesty of black velvet and
white ermine.
“Goo’-by.”
Arminius received a fin at an angle of sixty-five degrees.
“Jane.”
Cousin Jane was so glad to have met Miss Caspar, and before
she returned to Cumberland she hoped to have the pleasure of
seeing her play Cinderella.
“Well, I’m awfully proud to have met you, Miss Caspar. And I
hope you’ll bring some of your friends along to the Albany, B4. My
number on the telephone is 059 Mayfair, and I’ll lay in a stock of
cake.”
“Delighted!—and you must come and see us, me and my old
granny—Mrs. Cathcart—used to play Lady Macbeth to John Peter
Kendall and those old swells, although I daresay you can hardly
remember them. But she’s a dear, Mr. Shelmerdine; and if you want
to hear about the dignity of the profession, and how her
granddaughter’s lowered it, come round to Bedford Gardens,
Number Ten, any Sunday afternoon, and you’ll say she is the
dearest old thing about.”
 CHAPTER VIII
IN WHICH WE MAKE THE ACQUAINTANCE OF
THE GODDAUGHTER OF EDWARD BEAN

Mr. Philip counted the hours till Sunday came. He was sorely
infected now by the deadly virus.
As for those three goals against Scotland, he had clean forgotten
them. They were never mentioned in his own little world. In
Grosvenor Square, in particular, no store was set by such
irresponsible undergraduate behavior. There his career only dated
from the time he had managed to get his commission rather easily in
the Second, and he had never been quite forgiven for tiring of a
respectable course of life so soon.
It was strange that this sportswoman, so full of sense and pluck,
had seen him in the crowded and glorious hour when life was his in
its fullness. He had lived in those days, perhaps a little crudely, but
now he wanted to have done with his idleness and start to live again.
He was in love with Mary Caspar, and that was all about it!
Whether she drank tea at the Carlton or warbled ditties on the
boards of Drury, she rang tune in every note. No wonder that she
was the uncrowned queen of many a provincial city; no wonder that
every errand boy in the metropolis whistled “Nelson” and “Arcadee.”
On his way to his rooms he called at a news-agent’s, and
invested a shilling in picture-postcards of Mary Caspar.
“I suppose you sell a lot of these?”
“Hundreds,” said the young man behind the counter. “We’ve sold
out three times in a fortnight, and the demand is increasing.”
On Sunday afternoon, as five o’clock was striking from St.
Martin’s Church, Mr. Philip drove up to Bedford Gardens and pulled
the door bell of Number Ten.
A trim little parlor-maid led him up to a cozy little drawing-room.
Miss Caspar received him with unaffected cordiality.
“And this is my Granny, Mr. Shelmerdine,” said Cinderella
proudly.
Grandmamma was a stately old dame in a turban, turned eighty-
four—a really wonderful old lady. Her speech was lively and forcible;
and her manner had the grace of one who had grown old with
dignity. It had a half-humorous touch of grandeur also, as of one who
has known the great world from the inside, and is not inclined to rate
it above its value.
Grandmamma shook hands, and said she was glad to meet the
son of his father.
“A good and honorable and upright man I’m sure, Mr.
Shelmerdine, although his politics are all wrong to my mind. You see,
we artists, even the oldest of us, live for ideas, and these unfortunate
Vandeleurites—but we won’t talk politics, although it was I who
bought Mr. Vandeleur his first bells and coral. At that time nobody
except his mother and myself, and possibly his nurse foresaw that
he was the future Prime Minister of England. Polly, my dear, the tea.”
“You boastful old Granny,” said Mary. “And I don’t think Mr.
Shelmerdine is a bit impressed.”
“But I am—awfully,” said Mr. Shelmerdine gallantly, handing the
Bohea.
And he came within an ace of dropping the cup on to the
hearthrug, because Miss Mary chose at that fateful moment to twitch
her adorable left eyelid so artfully that the young man had to whisk
away his countenance to keep from laughing in the face of
Grandmamma.
“Mr. Shelmerdine, tell me, have you seen my granddaughter play
at the Lane?”
 Yes, Mr. Shelmerdine had, and if he might say so, admired her
playing awfully.
“I am sorry to hear you say that,” said Grandmamma. “To my
mind she displays a strange lack of ambition. We are an old
theatrical family, Mr. Shelmerdine. When I was her age I was playing
Lady Macbeth to John Peter Kendall.”
The young man was mightily interested, although to be sure this
was the first he had heard of John Peter Kendall; but happily he had
a useful sort of working knowledge that Lady Macbeth was the name
of a thrilling drama by the author of Money.
Miss Mary was quite unscathed by this damaging piece of
criticism.
“Yes, Granny dear, but then you had genius—and that’s a thing
that doesn’t often occur in any family, does it?”
“Mary child”—the natural grandeur showed a little—“it is a mere
façon de parler to speak of ambition, respect for one’s calling,
determination to live up to the highest that is within oneself, as
genius. Moreover, the absence of genius is a poor excuse for
lowering the traditions of a distinguished family. Mr. Shelmerdine, I
hope you agree with me.”
Appealed to at point-blank range, the young man was fain to
agree with Grandmamma. But if his note of conviction was not very
robust, it must be remembered that his present ambition was to run
with the hare and to hunt with the hounds.
“By taking pains,” said Grandmamma, “and showing a proper
reverence for its calling, even a modest talent may add a cubit to its
stature. That at least was the opinion of John Peter Kendall and Mr.
Macready.”
Mr. Shelmerdine cordially agreed with those great men.
“To think of my granddaughter playing Cinderella at the Lane
when she should be playing Lady Macbeth at His Majesty’s!”
“Oh, but ma’am,” said the young man, “she is a nailin’ good
Cinderella, you know.”
 “A nailing good Cinderella, when her great-grandmother played
with Garrick, and one of her forebears was in Shakespeare’s own
company!”
The young man thought silence would be safer here. Still,
knightly conduct was undoubtedly called for.
“I hope you won’t mind my sayin’, ma’am,” said he, “that she’s the
finest Cinderella I’ve ever—although I daresay I oughtn’t to say it in
her presence.”
But Grandmamma would admit no extenuating circumstance.
Mary was a disgrace.
“Well, dear Granny,” and again that wicked left eyelid came into
action, “you can’t deny that next year the Lane is going to double my
salary, although I am sure I get quite enough as it is.”
“Child, do you suppose that John Peter Kendall would have
urged such an excuse?”
Grandmamma’s majesty dissolved Cinderella in light-hearted
mirth.
“I quite see your point, ma’am,” said the heir to the barony,
playing as well as he knew how.
“Mr. Shelmerdine,” said the old lady, “I make you my compliments
on your good sense.”
It must certainly be said for the heir to the barony that he made
quite a favorable impression upon Grandmamma. Rather a plume in
the bonnet of the parfit, gentil knight moreover; because as Granny
had been kissed by Mr. Dickens, used regularly to call upon Mr.
Thackeray in Young Street, had dined and supped with Mr.
Gladstone, and had a very poor opinion, indeed, of Mr. Disraeli, she
must be reckoned rather a judge.
 CHAPTER IX
A LITTLE LUNCH AT DIEUDONNÉ’S

Sore were the ravages of the ancient malady. It made it worse

for the sufferer that he had never had it before.
He was twenty-eight, a very healthy and normal citizen, “a little
slow in the uptake,” to be sure, but with private means already, and
the heir to the paternal greatness. He should, of course, like other
paladins, have tried to keep out of mischief by serving his king and
country.
It was a mistake to have left the Second, said his admirable
parents. He wanted a wife, said all the world. It was really necessary
that a young man of his age should provide himself with this most
indispensable accessory.
In his torpid way he rather agreed. But he got no forrarder,
although it was perfectly clear that the indispensable accessory was
his for the asking.
To be sure, he had never exactly hit it off with Adela. Self-willed
and overbearing young women, doubtless, had their reason to be;
but he was much too shrewd a young chap to crave to be tied up for
life with one of them. Still, if he wasn’t careful the fetters might easily
be riveted. Things had rather shaped that way for twelve months
past.
All the same, it behooved him to be wary. The fruit was ripe. A
single shake of the branch and it might fall from the tree.
Cinderella had shaken the tree pretty severely. Simple, kind and
cheerful she was just the sort of girl you could get on with. Straight
as a die, overflowing with life and sympathy, she had the noble
faculty of being genuinely interested in all the world and his wife.
Would she come out to lunch?
 Oh, yes, any day except Wednesday and Saturday, when she
had to play.
So the very next morning they lunched at Dieudonné’s, and
everything seemed perilously pleasant.
Punctual to the minute! How delightful to have a table in the
corner! The restaurant of all others she liked to lunch at; and lark and
oyster pudding and Chablis, the fare above all others that she
coveted.
Comparisons are odious, but really...!
Didn’t he think Granny was wonderful? And really quite great in
her day. A link with the past, of whom the profession was very proud.
Was Miss Caspar never tired of the theater? Wasn’t it an awful
grind? Didn’t she ever want a night off? When she felt as cheap as
she must have been feeling a fortnight ago last Saturday, didn’t she
just want to turn it up?
Perhaps—sometimes. But then her motto was Nelson’s, never to
know when you were beaten. It was Nelson’s motto, wasn’t it?
Besides, having two thousand people in your pocket gave you such
a sense of power. And then the princely salary, a hundred pounds a
week, and next year it was going to be doubled. She really didn’t
know how she would be able to spend it.
Why spend it at all? Why not invest it at four and a half per cent.?
Oh, yes—for a rainy day!
Such an idea was evidently quite new to Cinderella, and she
proclaimed it as the very zenith of human wisdom.
“You must let me spend a little, though.”
She spoke as though he had charge already of her hundred
pounds a week.
“Not more than a fiver now and again. No need, really. Of course
when you take a holiday abroad you can dip a bit if you want.”
 Granny thought the provinces were vulgar, but Cinderella was
quite sure that Mr. Shelmerdine didn’t agree with Grandmamma.
“Now look me right in the eye, and tell me whether the provinces
are vulgar. Honest Injun now!”
The good gray eyes were open to a width that was positively
astonishing. “Look right in, and consider yourself upon your oath.”
Mr. Shelmerdine did not agree with Grandmamma—being upon
his oath.
“No, of course. The provinces are hearty and easy to get on with,
and we are very fond of each other, and I don’t consider either of us
vulgar. It is Granny’s Victorianism, to which I always pretend to give
in—although I don’t, of course. Do you know dear, dirty old
Sheffield? The next time you go and play against the Wednesday—I
beg your pardon, I had forgotten those wretched Tories had made
your father a peer—well, the next time you go to Sheffield—which
you never will again—ask the dear old Tykes whether they have ever
seen Mary Caspar as Alice in Dick Whittington. Why, it was I who
presented the Cup and Medals to the United when they won the
Hallamshire and West Riding Charity Vase.”
“Oh, really.”
“You mustn’t say, ‘Oh, really.’ You must say, ‘Did you, ma lass! I
wish I’d been playin’ in ta match.’”
Would Miss Caspar have a cigarette?
With pleasure; but she insisted on lighting his before he was
allowed to light hers.
“I wonder if I know you nearly well enough to call you Philip?” she
said at about the fourth puff. “Your name is such a long one, isn’t it?”
The heir to the barony was bound to admit that his name was
long, and that even Philip was shorter when it became Phil.
“Wouldn’t Phil be just a little familiar, considering that we have
only known each other a week?”
“I seem to have known you for years and years and years.”
 “Well, if you really mean that, Philip, I don’t think there is any
reason why it shouldn’t be Phil. But you mustn’t go beyond Mary, you
know. There is only one other person outside the family who calls me
Polly, because somehow I object to Polly on principle. And you’ll
never be able to guess who that is.”
“Mr. Vandeleur?”
“Dear no—of all people. I am a perfectly ferocious Rag.”
“Well, I hope it isn’t—?”
“—Be careful, Philip. Very dangerous ground. But, no, it isn’t he.
The only other person who is allowed to call me Polly is the Lessee
and Manager of the Royal Italian Opera House, Blackhampton.”
A sudden pang of consternation went through the heart of Mr.
Philip. There was a confounded ring on her finger!
“Goose,” said Mary, amused not a little by the course of the
young man’s gaze. “Old enough to be my father. But he’s a dear;
and if I ever marry anyone—which I never shall, of course—I don’t
think I should mind marrying him, although he’s just celebrated his
silver wedding, and he’s got a family of eleven, seven girls and four
boys, all with a broad enough accent to derail any tram in
Blackhampton.”
Yes; Mr. Philip enjoyed every moment of this little luncheon at
Dieudonné’s.
Before going to misspend his afternoon at one of his clubs, he
accompanied the charmer as far as Bedford Gardens. They went on
foot for the sake of the exercise, which she vowed she would rather
die than do without; along the Strand if he didn’t mind, because she
loved it so.
The Strand was a wonderful place, they both agreed. Certainly,
he had been in it before—often—though always on the way to the
play or to supper at the Savoy. But he had to admit that this was the
first time he had come to it in broad daylight as an amateur.
“You get more human nature to the square inch in the dear old
Strand than any place in the world,” said this young woman who had
traveled the five continents in the exercise of her calling.
“Piper, miss. ’Orrible murder in the Borough.”
Mary was proof against this lure, and with true feminine
irrelevance proceeded to pile insult upon the head of injury by calling
upon a young gentleman of nine, who apparently was not going to
Eton next term, and whose person was held together by a single
button, to explain the absence of his shoes and stockings.
“Aren’t got none, lidy.”
“Why haven’t you?”
“Ain’t ’ad none, lidy, since mother was put away for doin’ in father
a year lawst Boxin’ night.”
“I daresay it is quite a good reason,” said Mary Caspar, “if only it
could be translated into English. What did your mother do to your
father?”
“’E come ’ome ravin’, and mother throwed a paraffin lamp at him,
and the judge give her ten years.”
Mary Caspar opened her purse and produced the hundredth part
of her week’s salary.
“Never let me see you again without your boots—or your
stockings, either.”
The recipient looked at the sovereign doubtfully. Then he looked
up at the donor.
“Lidy,” he said, depositing this incredible wealth in some
inaccessible purlieus of his late father’s waistcoat, “you’re a toff.”
The heir to the barony was rather silent as they turned up
Bedford Street. He was, of course, a drone in the hive, but he
sometimes indulged in the pernicious habit of turning things over in
his mind.
“There’s something wrong, you know, somewhere. A kid not a
day more than nine, all on his own. I think we ought to have got his
name and address.”
 Mary thought he would have forgotten his name, and that he
wouldn’t have been at the trouble to possess himself of anything so
superfluous as an address, but she agreed with a further display of
true feminine irrelevance—and what would any Principal Girl be
without it?—that they certainly ought to have got them.
And so they turned back for the purpose. But the bird had flown.
They walked as far as Trafalgar Square, crossed over, and came
back on the other side, but their quarry had quitted the Strand.
“We must look out for him again,” said the heir to the barony.
“Although I expect there are thousands like him.”
“Millions,” said Mary.
“And, of course, it don’t matter what you do in individual cases,
so the Johnnies say who know all about it—but you must let me
stand that sovereign, although it is sweet of you and all that.”
The heir to the barony produced the sum of one pound sterling,
and inserted it in Mary’s muff, a very ordinary sort of rabbit-skin
affair.
Mary declined point-blank to accept the sovereign, which
irresponsible behavior on her part made her escort look rather
troubled and unhappy.
“Oh, but you must.”
“Why?”
The heir to the barony seemed perfectly clear in his own mind
that she ought to do as she was told, but not being gifted in the
matter of clothing his thoughts with language, the reasons he gave
seemed both vague and inadequate to an independent-minded
young woman whose salary, for the time being, was equal to that of
the First Lord of the Treasury.
They parted on Grandmamma’s doorstep, with a hearty hand-
shake, and a reluctant promise on Mary’s part to come out to tea on
the morrow. The young man walked on air to one of his numerous
houses of call, firm in the conviction that he had never enjoyed a
luncheon so much in all his born days.
 “Ye-es, Agatha, I a-gree with you,” said the first Baron
Shelmerdine of Potterhanworth at half-past seven that evening,
twisting his face in the torment of achieving the conventional without
a suspicion of the baroque or the bizarre. “The ve-ry next shirts I
order from Hoodlam shall all turn down. Harold Box, I believe—so
why not I? Oh, confound it all—that’s the third I’ve ruined.”
“Fetch another Wally, and I will tie it for you,” said the Suffolk
Colthurst superbly.
It was humiliation for a Proconsul, but we are pledged to tell the
truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth in this ingenuous
narrative. And of their courtesy we ask none of our readers to
accuse us of malice.
“You must bend a bit, Wally.” The Suffolk Colthurst grappled
firmly with the situation. “Better order two dozen at once from Heale
and Binman. Theirs carry more starch.”
Here it was that Destiny came into the picture, casual-like.
“Wally.” The Suffolk Colthurst had just achieved a reticent self-
respecting single bow. “Now that Lord Warlock has agreed to that
settlement, if I were you I would send round a note to the Albany for
Philip to come and see us in the morning.”
“Well tied, Agatha. I’ll write a note to Philip, now.”

If the truth must be set down, and that, of course, is essential in

all circumstances, the parental communication, in spite of the fact
that it had an impressive device on the back and a motto in a dead
language, was not the first note that was opened at B4 the Albany on
the following morning. It was not the second or the third either,
because there was quite a pile of correspondence in front of the
kidneys and bacon at a quarter-past ten in the forenoon of Tuesday,
the first of February.
 “Dear Philip,” said the parental communication when it was open
at last, “your Mother will be pleased if you will come to luncheon to-
morrow, as there is an important matter she would like me to speak
to you about. Luncheon at one-thirty sharp, as I have to go down to
the House. Your affectionate Father, S. of P.”
Mr. Philip helped himself pensively, but not illiberally, to kidneys
and bacon. He sprinkled salt and pepper over them, spread mustard
on the plate, buttered his toast, poured out a cup of tea of almost
immoral strength, read over the parental communication again, and
then made use of an objurgation.
“I wish the good old Mater wouldn’t get so meddlin’,” said he.
Nevertheless, like a dutiful young man, he decided he must go
and lunch at No. 88 Grosvenor Square. But by the time he had put
on his boots with five buttons, had been inserted into the coat with
the astrachan collar, and had sauntered forth to his favorite florist’s,
twirling his whanghee cane, somehow the good old sky of London
didn’t look quite so bright as it did yesterday.
His favorite florist’s was in the charge of his favorite young lady
assistant, Miss Pearson by name, whom a fortnight ago he had
serious thoughts of calling Sally without her permission. But a good
deal of water had flowed under London Bridge in the meantime, so
that now whether she gave her permission, or whether she withheld
it, he no longer yearned to be guilty of any such freedom.
Still, Miss Pearson was a very good sort for all that, and the heir
to the barony raised his hat to her this morning in his politest
manner, although perhaps it is right to remark that he would have
done so on any other morning, and even if Miss Pearson had not
been such a very good sort—but in that case he might have gone a
little higher up the street, as far as Miss Jackson.
“Mornin’, Miss Pearson. How are we?”
Miss Pearson was so-so. Had been to the Coliseum to see
Richard III the previous evening.
“Have you been to Drury yet, Miss Pearson?”
 No, but Miss Pearson’s best boy had promised to take her next
Monday—Monday being her night out.
“I envy you, Miss Pearson,” said the heir to the barony with
emotion. “And the young chap—of course.”
“Mr. Shelmerdine,” said Miss Pearson, “do you know what my
impression is?”
Mr. Shelmerdine had not the faintest notion what Miss Pearson’s
impression was.
“My impression, Mr. Shelmerdine,” said Miss Pearson, “is that
you are in love.”
No rebutting evidence being put in, Miss Pearson grew grave and
serious as became a young lady of good Scottish lineage on the
spindle side.
“If you’ll take my advice, Mr. Shelmerdine, you’ll go a short sea
voyage. I’ve noticed a deterioration in you during the last fortnight. It
is far worse than when Cassie Smallpiece was at the Gaiety. I shall
go and see for myself on Monday, but I’ve no opinion of actresses as
a class. It is time you married that Lady Adela, you know.”
It was the first time that Miss Pearson had been moved to these
communications as far as this particular client was concerned; but
the fair president of the smartest florist in Piccadilly was a lady of
considerable social insight.
“Well, Miss Pearson,” said the heir to the barony, slowly and
thoughtfully, “you know that I always value your opinion, but Mary
Caspar is an absolute nailer.”
“Go across to Dean and Dawson’s,” said Miss Pearson. “Or you
can use my telephone if you don’t want to run the risk of crossing the
street. Egypt or Switzerland, or a short sea voyage. Think what a
blow it would be to your father if you didn’t marry a lady in society.”
“Ha, you haven’t seen her yet, Miss Pearson,” cried the incredible
young man. “If I could book a couple of stalls for Monday, do you
think your young chap would mind accepting ’em?”
 “Only too pleased, I’m sure,” said Miss Pearson promptly. “No
false delicacy about Alf. He’s in the greengrocery the other side the
Marble Arch.”
The heir to the barony was a little “slow in the uptake,” but, like
others who labor under that natural defect, in the end he generally
contrived to get to his destination.
“I hope you ain’t throwin’ yourself away, Miss Pearson,” said the
heir to the barony. “Blow to your people, I’m sure, if you are side-
tracked by anything under a bank clerk.”
“Money before position, Mr. Shelmerdine, is my motto,” said Miss
Pearson. “If you’ve got the one, you can always get the other.”
The heir of the barony seemed rather impressed by this pearl of
wisdom. He pondered it while that very able and personable young
woman twined a piece of wire round a posy of violets. And then, as if
to prove a general proposition, Position itself appeared, and
somewhat abruptly terminated this instructive tête-à-tête.
Position entered in the person of a youthful marquis, leading a
bull terrier whose natural beauty was almost as chastened as his
own.
“Why, Shel—haven’t seen you for years!”
Position held out a hand, gloved somewhat aggressively in
yellow. His senior by four years shook the gauntlet warily.
“Mornin’, Sally.”
Position turned its back and put its elbows on the counter. It
might have been the sole proprietor, not only of those most desirable
lock-up basement premises, but of Miss Pearson and all its other
contents. Still, no reproof was forthcoming.
During an even earlier phase of Position’s adolescence, it had
been Mr. Shelmerdine’s privilege as a member of the Eleven, a
member of Pop, and of other high dignities, to lay into Position in no
uncertain manner. Alas that his zeal had proved so unfruitful!
 Autres temps, autres mœurs. Had we the pen of the sage, the
fervor of the poet, the sæva indignatio of the preacher, what a theme
is here, my lords and gentlemen! Position not only usurping the
badge of intimacy, reserved for the peers of the Keeper of the Field,
but actually venturing to take pas of him, addressing Miss Pearson
by her first name, setting his elbows on the counter, and removing a
bunch of violets from her ample bosom, while he—the unspeakable
humiliation of it—actually had to wait meekly for his own.
Had there been a toasting fork within the precincts of those
desirable lock-up basement premises, it is appalling to think of the
consequences that might have ensued.
Miss Pearson handed Mr. Shelmerdine his bunch of violets in a
manner sufficiently dégagé, as though her interest in him had
assumed a less acute phase. Raging within, the heir to the barony, a
mere 1905 creation, sought the purer air of the Ritz Arcade, leaving
the field to 1720, who could be heard saluting Sally not too chastely,
as his early benefactor hurriedly crossed the threshold of his favorite
florist’s, and came into somewhat forcible collision with an elderly,
but ample lady from Missouri, who was on a visit to Europe, and who
had come to stay at the Ritz Hotel.
The elderly ample lady from Missouri was fluent in her diction; the
heir to the barony was abject in his apologies; but eventually the
incident was closed by the unlucky young man escorting the
American citizeness to her palatial temporary residence, and giving
her into the care of the hall porter.
Evidently, it was not going to be his day. But let justice be done to
the Fates, even when they are behaving just about as badly as they
know how. Had it not been that the heir to the barony lingered a
moment to exchange a few brief but urbane civilities with the hall
porter of the Ritz, he must inevitably have walked into Adela and her
Pa who were passing very slowly and impressively by the portals of
this coign of the plutocracy.
It was a hair’s-breadth escape. The young man had only just time
to realize his danger, bolt across the road, almost under the very
wheels of an oncoming Barnes and Hammersmith omnibus, escape
a threefold death by violence at the instance of the passing motor,
board a taxi, and in a voice tense with emotion beseech to be driven
to Romano’s.
A gin and vermouth might be said to have saved this full but
chequered life.
“Called me Shel—my God! If only I’d got that long-handled, old-
fashioned one with the five prongs—!”