Marriage in Islam
Marriage in Islam
Marriage in Islam
In contrast to other religions, which consider celibacy as a great virtue and a means of salvation, Islam considers marriage as one of the most virtuous and approved institutions. The importance of marriage receives its greatest emphasis from the Quraan and Sunnah.
Pre-Marriage
Islam considers marriage a social obligation, an act which is greatly admired by Allah. It is a natural relationship between man and woman.
And among His signs is this, that he created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect. (Surah Roum)
And we sent Messengers before you, and appointed for them wives and children. (Surah Raad)
VIRTUES OF NIKAAH
If any person performs nikaah, he has completed half of his religion. To fulfil the other half of his Deen (religion) he should fear Allah. (Mishkaat) Nikaah (marriage) is among my ways. O youth, those of you who can support a wife should marry because this will be a means of keeping your gazes lowered and a protection from your private parts. And those amongst you who are not capable of should fast for fasting will lower ones passion.
Every item of this world is (an item) of benefit. However, the item of most benefit is a pious wife. (Mishkaat)
Women are married for four qualities, some are married for wealth, some for the family(lineage) status, some for beauty and some for the Deen (piety). Marry a woman for her Deen and you shall be happy/successful. (Mishkaat)
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MEHR (DOWRY)
Mehr is the wealth which is given by the groom to the bride in lieu for her Nikaah by which the husband gains his matrimonial rights.
Mehr is Wajib (compulsory). Even if it is not mentioned at the time of Nikaah one will still be obliged to pay. There is no maximum limit, however a light Mehr has been praised highly by The Prophet (saw)
HADEETH The best of women is one who is beautiful and her dowery is very little.
Rasoolullah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) made Nikaah with some of his wives for as little as ten Dirhams.
Umar (radhiyallahu anhu) disliked and stopped people from taking huge amounts for Mehr.
3. Mehr-e-Faatimi (r.a.) the type of dowery which Hadhrat Ali (r.a.) gave to Hadhrat Fatima (r.a.) At the time of marriage. The dowry was four hundred mithqals of silver which equates to 1530.9 grams or between 400-450 (according to the value of silver). 4.Mehr-e-mithl (family dowry) i.e. Mehr given according to the women of the fathers family. This Mehr is formed with thirteen things in common.
RULES OF MEHR 1. The Mehr is one of the fundamental conditions of Nikaah. 2.The amount agreed for Mehr should be mentioned at the time of Nikaah. 3. The money used for Mehr should be from one`s Halaal wealth. 4. There should be no delay in giving of the Mehr. It is best to give it on the day of Nikaah.
Mehr on the demand of his wife, she has the right to stop all matrimonial relations.
6. It is unlawful and incorrect for the husband not to give the Mehr, or to intend not to give her the Mehr. 7.The Mehr should not be less than ten Dirhams or 30.618 grams (10-15). 8. If a woman is married for less than ten Dirhams, then in this case ten Dirhams will be Waajib because Mehr cannot be less than this amount.
Duties of a Parent and Guardian The one to whom a child is born should give a good name to the child and train him with good character and when he is matured to get him married. If he did not get him married and the boy commits a sin the sin will be upon the father.
Announce your Nikaah and perform them in the Masjid. (This is done to inform the public and to avoid doubt. It is Mustahab to distribute dates. Islam prohibits one from being extravagant. Therefore splashing money on a big hall, elaborate decorations etc. are all contrary to the teachings of Islam. There is absolutely no permissibility of music.The Holy Prophet has said Listening to music and singing is sinful and to sit in its gathering is Fisq (transgression) and taking enjoyment from it is Kufr
Post-Marriage
One should not refuse an invitation to a walimah if the laws of Shariah are not contravened. When you are invited for a walimah then you should go. (Mishkaat). The worst of food is that which is served in as walimah where only the rich are invited and the poor are left out. Whosoever declines an invitation (without legitimate reason), has acted contrary to the command of Allah and His Messenger (saw). (Maarariful Hadeeth, pg34, vol 7) When the Prophet (saw) married Hadhrat Zainab (ra) walimah was made with meat and bread and with Hadhrat Saffiyah (ra) the food cloth was laid on which were some dates, cheese and melted butter.
Waleemah is offered by the new husband, and is an act of virtue as well as a display of appreciation towards the new wife and her family. Waleemah has been emphasised by the Prophet (saw) as a time of happiness. For this nemat, one must express shukr (gratefulness) Waleemah is this demonstration (Maarariful Hadeeth, pg34, vol 7)
3. It is waajib for the husband to live in harmony and to treat his wife at all times justly and to please her. If a person has more than one wife, he will have to treat each one equally. Whoever has two wives and inclines (unfairly) to the one over the other, he will come forth on the day of judgement with one side being lame. (Tirmidhi). 4. It is waajib for the husband to give his wife taleem (education) of Deen.
Some Advice
The Prophet (saw) was sent as a model for all classes of men even those worldly men who live with wives and children. He brought a complete change, in the status and position of women.
Equality became the regulating principle of the married parties, and the ideal of wifehood was declared to be love and affection and not subordination.
The Quraan says, treat them (wife) kindly
The husband should not hit his wife as this will create bitter feelings. The Prophet (saw) discouraged hitting by saying, the best of you is he who is best to his wife, and further said, never hit your partner like the hitting of your slave. The Quraan says, men are caretakers of women. The Prophet (saw) also encouraged spending on ones wife and family besides food, clothes and abode, the best a man spends is what he spends on his family, this will be considered as a charitable act. The Prophet (saw) said, the Mumin with the most perfect Iman is one who has best character and who is kindest to his wife
Polygamy (Having More Than One Wife At One Time) Marry women of your choice,two,three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or that which your right hand possess. That will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice. (Surah Nisaa verse 3) The Quranic verse regarding polygamy was revealed immediately after the battle of Uhud, wherein many orphans and widows were left destitute.
The Ruling
It is necessary to make Nikaah to one wife only when one fears that one is unable to fulfil the rights of more than one wife. The Quran gives permission to marrying a maximum of four wives at one time. One does not need to take permission of the first wife in order to marry the second wife.