Managing Social Relationships

Course Title: Total Man Concept

Course Code: TMC 311

Dr. Tolulope A. ALLO

Department of Sociology
Covenant University

Date: November 2nd, 2022

Venue: Covenant University Chapel
• What do we mean by
Social Relationships and
how do we manage
them?
What do we mean by the term
“Social”
The word "social" derives from
the Latin word socii meaning
"allies” (associates, buddies,
partners, friends)
• Living or disposed to live in
companionship with others or
in a community, rather than in
isolation.
• Humans are naturally social
beings.
• Social organisms, • According to Karl Marx,
including humans, live human beings are
collectively in interacting intrinsically, necessarily
populations. and by definition social
• This interaction is beings who, beyond being
considered social "gregarious creatures",
whether they are aware cannot survive and meet
of it or not, and whether their needs other than
the exchange is voluntary through social co-
or involuntary. operation and association.
What is a Relationship?
•A relationship is any connection
between two or more people,
which can be either positive or
negative.
• Social relationships
therefore refers to the
connections that exist
between people who
have recurring
interactions that are
perceived by the
participants to have
personal meaning.
Social relationship or social interaction is the
fundamental unit of analysis within the social
sciences, and describes any voluntary or
involuntary interpersonal relationship between
two or more individuals within and/or between
groups.
The group can be a language or kinship group, a
social institution or organization, an economic
class, a nation, or gender.
• Social relationships are • No matter the nature
interpersonal of the relationship,
relationships and they different types of
make up a huge and vital relationships help
part of our lives. make up the social
• These relationships can support network that
range from close and is pivotal for both your
intimate to distant and physical and mental
challenging ones. well-being
What does the Bible say • “Two are better than one,
about social relationships ? because they have a good reward
• Scripture says that social for their labor: If either of them
relationships are important falls down, one can help the other
because we're better together up. But pity anyone who falls and
than we are alone has no one to help them up. Also,
(Romans 12:4–5). if two lie down together, they will
It can be hard for some of us to keep warm. But how can one
commit to community, especially if keep warm alone? Though one
we're guarded or prefer solitude. may be overpowered, two can
But community is God's desire for defend themselves. A cord of
us—and a sign of a mature faith. three strands is not quickly
broken.”
• Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NIV
What is the Goal of Social Types of Social
Relationship? relationship
• It provides us with a sense of
connection, purpose, support • Social relationships
and, ultimately, overall better are composed of both
health and longevity. positive (affiliative)
• Dozens of studies have shown and negative
that people who have fulfilling (agonistic)
relationships with family, friends
and community members are interactions,
happier, have fewer health representing
problems, and live longer. opposing effects.
Types of Social relationship (contd.)
There are five common types of social
relationship according to Erving Goffman —
• Exchange
• Competition
• Conflict
• Cooperation, and
• Accommodation.
Exchange, cooperation, and accommodation
tend to stabilize the social structure, while
competition and conflict tend to encourage
social change.
Exchange
• It is the basis of exchange
• Exchange occurs when interactions and exchange
people interact in an effort theory.
to receive a reward or a • Exchange theory is the idea
return for their actions. that people are motivated by
• Reward might be tangible or self-interest in their
intangible. interactions with other
people.
• Reciprocity is the idea that if
• Rewarded behavior is
you do something for repeated
someone, that person owes
you something in return.
Competition and Conflict
• Competition occurs when two • Conflict is the deliberate
or more people or groups attempt to control a
oppose each other to achieve person by force, to
a goal that only one can attain. oppose someone, or to
– Common in Western
societies
harm another person.
– Sometimes considered basis – Has few rules of
of capitalism and democracy accepted conduct
– Can lead to psychological – Can reinforce group
stress, a lack of cooperation, boundaries and loyalty
and conflict
Cooperation Accommodation
Goffman described cooperation as a Accommodation is a state of
process of working together to achieve a
common goal.
balance between cooperation and
conflict. It has four components:
‘Can two walk together except they
agree?’ • Compromise
Amos 3:3 Each party gives up something
There’s need for Team work and they want in order to come to an
cooperation in our day to day social agreement
interaction for ultimate results and • Truce
success. Temporarily brings a halt to the
– It is a social process that gets things competition or conflict until a
done.
– May be used along with competition
compromise can be reached
to motivate members to work harder for
the group.
 Influencers of Positive Social
• Mediation Relationship
Calling in a third party 1. Love
who 2. Mutual respect and
guides the two parties reciprocity
toward an agreement. 3. Patience
• Arbitration 4. Understanding
A third party makes a 5. Tolerance
decision 6. Cooperation &Unity
that is binding on both 7. Team Building
parties. 8. Humility
Enemies of Positive “I've learned that people
Social Relationship will forget what you said,
• Pride & Arrogance people will forget what
• Envy and Jealousy you did, but people will
• Unequal commitment never forget how you
• Insincererity/Lack of made them feel.”
Integrity - Maya Angelou
• Influence of detractors/third
party
• Poor communication
• Ingratitude
How Do We Manage Social Relationships?
1. Have a healthy relationship with yourself:
When we hear the word “relationship,”
chances are you think of your interactions
and behavior toward someone else, like a
family member, romantic partner, or
friend.
But the truth is, we also have one other very
important relationship: the one with
ourselves.
A self-relationship is exactly what it sounds like: a
relationship you have with yourself. It can sound
funny to have a ‘self-relationship’ because society
does not teach us to have one.
It encompasses your feelings about yourself and • Over time, this can affect your
the way you treat yourself which is a function of relationships and friendships, as well as
how you treat others. sabotage your confidence at work or your
• Do you feel worthless, unloved, inadequate, desire to go after your goals in life.
ugly, imperfect?
• A negative self-relationship can hold
• Do you constantly have need to change certain people back even from pursuing goals
parts of your body? that are within their reach because they
• Do you struggle with low self-esteem and poor stop themselves from trying.
self acceptance?
• Over time, this negative self-relationship
• Are you a people pleaser? — and its impact on your self-esteem and
If yes to all or some of these questions, then you behavior can have a lasting impact on
cannot manage yourself, and ultimately, you will your mental health, leading to increased
find it difficult to manage social relationships. stress, depression, anxiety, and social
A lack of healthy self-relationship can make you anxiety.
retreat or avoid family and friends. Alternatively,
it could cause you to develop a lack of • Conversely, a positive self-relationship can
boundaries with other people, allowing toxic make you more resilient to depression
relationships into your life. and anxiety.
How to have a healthy relationship 2. Keep expectations realistic. No one
with yourself. can be everything we might want them
Having a good relationship with yourself is
to be. Healthy relationships mean
fundamental to feeling good and buildingaccepting people as they are and not
healthy relationships with others
trying to change them.
• Accept yourself, imperfections,
3. Be yourself! It's much easier and
blemish and all! more fun to be authentic than to
• Make time for yourself and the pretend to be something or someone
things you enjoy else. Healthy relationships are made of
• Try to think of positive affirmations real people.
about yourself each day 4. Communication is key -
• Set boundaries Communicate in a clear, confident,
controlled and respectful way. Be a
• Remember that it’s OK to say “no” good listener.
• Reach out to a therapist 5. Build Trust. Strive to be honest and
open in your relationships.
6. Make Yourself Available. Building close relationships take
time. Even with demanding or conflicting schedules, it is
important to set aside time for relationships and to connect
with others.
7. Stay Connected. At least once a day, check in with a family
member, friend, co-worker. Text, call, video chat or use social
media to stay in touch if you are separated physically.
8. Be dependable. If you make plans with someone, follow
through. If you take on a responsibility, complete it. Healthy
relationships are trustworthy.
9. Fight fair. Most relationships have some conflict. It only
means you disagree about something; it does not have to
mean you don't like each other.
Concluding Remarks
• Humans are social beings. We have lived in social groups for
all known human history.
• It’s a good thing too because there are many well-
documented benefits of having social relationships, both for
our physical and mental health.
• Making an effort to build and maintain healthy relationships
can help us better manage our lives.
• Healthy relationships have been shown to increase our
happiness, improve mental health and reduce stress. Studies
have shown that people with healthy relationships have
more happiness and less stress.
It is important to remember that: • There is no perfect relationship
• Your relationship with yourself is the • People will disappointment you
most important relationship. • Offences will surely come but learn to
• All people are not the same forgive Matt 5:24
• Humans beings have different social • Always leave room for IMPROVEMENT
experiences and upbringing • Be the Change you want to see in that
• People have different psychological relationship
make up and emotional dispositions • Be a love initiator, Strive for peace
• We must not expect that everyone will always… Matt.5:9
behave or think like us else we cannot • Learn to walk away from toxic
be good team players. relationships
• Sometimes it may be necessary to • Make the world a better place for all
deliberately let go hence the need for through healthy and positive social
tolerance which is very key in relationship.
managing social relationships.