Spotlight on GCSE English Language

Paper 1, Question 5
Created in conjunction with Jonny Kay
 Task – complete this in your exercise books

• Imagine you are one of the people in the image.

• What would you
• Feel?
• Hear?
• See?
• Smell?
• Taste?

© Culture Club/Getty Images

Extension: list adverbs, adjectives or synonyms to add detail to your answers.

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Learning objectives

• Develop knowledge and understanding of narrative and creative writing

(Paper 1 Question 5).

• Create an effective narrative/creative writing plan and response.

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 Question 5 – a recap

The Question

• The image will be linked to

the extract you read for
Q1–Q4
• You’ll be given two
questions: a description or
a narrative task (but you
could get two of either)
• You can answer either
question
• You should spend 5
minutes planning and 40
minutes writing your
response
• You must create a plan

© South West News Service Ltd

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Task

Discuss with a partner:

What features should you include in an effect creative/narrative writing

answer?

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Features to include in descriptive/narrative writing

• A range of vocabulary and language devices

• A suitable tone and style
• An effective structure: use paragraphs, connectives, discourse markers (eg
‘however’, ‘although’)
• A wide range of punctuation
• A wide range of sentence types and lengths
• Standard English and accurate spelling and grammar.

Let’s look at an
example

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Example response
The station is bustling with life. Every person you could ever wish to meet is present in this small
corner of the world. All nationalities lie in every nook and cranny, waiting to start their journey: there
are workers, there are tourists, there are different partners, there are loners and there are families,
waiting to meet. Everyone is moving quickly; rushing and hanging from the announcement board
that supports the entire station. Everywhere there are bursts of life, like confetti being thrown
randomly, yet everyone is where they need to be. It is as busy as a ant colony: it’s as if the people
are the ants, moving perfectly around each other.
Sunlight streams through the huge windows; illuminating the busy city of transport. The enormous
windows (supported by huge brick columns) let the sunlight in, but shield the station from the
outside, manic world.
Each person is filled with a different emotion – some are happy, some are worried.
The lone black figure at the entrance to the station is holding onto a briefcase which is packed full of
stressful tasks for the day. Opposite him is a family of 4, with two children – one purposefully making
the other cry. A gigantic clock – ticking, angrily – hangs from above, catching everyone’s attention.
And underneath it are bunches of station workers. At the very back are the impressive marble station
steps, who wait for the station master and his staff. Every person imaginable lies in this station!
I can imagine the people and station staff arguing over prices and how this creates a tense
atmosphere.
However, this station is only filled with people making short journeys. One day, could this be gone?
Could this small world, full of light, slowly disappear…?

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Task

• Look again at the example response

• Identify and highlight the following (using a different colour for each
aspect):
• Range of vocabulary
• Range of sentence types/structures
• Range of punctuation.

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 Example response
The station is bustling with life. Every person you could ever wish to meet is present in this small
corner of the world. All nationalities lie in every nook and cranny, waiting to start their journey: there
are workers, there are tourists, there are different partners, there are loners and there are families,
waiting to meet. Everyone is moving quickly; rushing and hanging from the announcement board
that supports the entire station. Everywhere there are bursts of life, like confetti being thrown
randomly, yet everyone is where they need to be. It is as busy as a ant colony: it’s as if the people
are the ants, moving perfectly around each other.
Sunlight streams through the huge windows; illuminating the busy city of transport. The enormous
windows (supported by huge brick columns) let the sunlight in, but shield the station from the
outside, manic world.
Each person is filled with a different emotion – some are happy, some are worried.
The lone black figure at the entrance to the station is holding onto a briefcase which is packed full of
stressful tasks for the day. Opposite him is a family of 4, with two children – one purposefully making
the other cry. A gigantic clock – ticking, angrily – hangs from above, catching everyone’s attention.
And underneath it are bunches of station workers. At the very back are the impressive marble station
steps, who wait for the station master and his staff. Every person imaginable lies in this station!
I can imagine the people and station staff arguing over prices and how this creates a tense
atmosphere.
However, this station is only filled with people making short journeys. One day, could this be gone?
Could this small world, full of light, slowly disappear…?

Range of vocabulary Range of sentence types/structures Range of punctuation

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Task

• Planning is a key part of your Question 5 response, but how can you plan?

• Let’s look at a strategy for planning effectively.

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Planning for a descriptive task: zooming in

• Zooming in: you’re looking at the image through a camera lens.

• To do this, choose three key areas in an image that you’d like to ‘zoom in
on’.
• This should be three key areas that you find most interesting, and will go
into significant detail in describing (with each one given a full paragraph to
describe).

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Planning for a descriptive task: zooming in

• The key area can be a person, object/thing, animal, building etc.

• List adjectives, adverbs and key words to describe.
• Add language features that you will include in your story.
• Give brief details about the senses in this area: what does it look like?
What would it feel like? What can you hear/what sounds are being made?
• Also, do the same for the main focus of the picture.

Let’s look at an
example

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 Zooming in
Senses Set at the beach/seaside – hustle and bustle,
Adjectives holidaymakers everywhere, the clouds frowned at
the masses, like a train station at midday, smiling
Main focus blue skies
The sea – full of
people, freezing
cold, brown and
grey, middle of the
The woman day, filled with
in the red sandcastles, children
top – alone, running in and out,
waiting for slow beating
friends, a currents, low frothing
bright red t- tides, like a fizzing
shirt, bare
surprise
feet, carrying
her
belongings,
like a nomad
in a desert © South West News Service Ltd

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Zooming in

(24 marks for content and

organisation 16 marks for
technical accuracy = 40 marks)

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Zooming in

You must now identify two/three parts of the image which you will focus on.

Spend 5 minutes creating a plan for what you will talk about in your
answer.

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 Zooming in
Choose 3 key elements
• Senses
• Adjectives
• Main focus

© Culture Club/Getty Images

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Planning for a narrative task

Five-stage story structure

• Using the five-stage story structure (or ‘story mountain’) will help you to
structure you narrative.
• Like planning for a descriptive response, you should include key
vocabulary and language features that you will use in your response.

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The story mountain

Here, you will introduce the main elements of your narrative:

1. Opening the setting, characters/ people, the premise of your narrative.

This is where the characters will move away from the comfort
2. Build up of the opening and the reader will get to know more about the
character.
3. Dilemma/ The characters will face a problem or dilemma. How do they
problem react? How do they feel here? What could happen next?

The problem or dilemma will be resolved/sorted here. There

4. Resolution should be lots of tension and action before this happens.

This can either be where things return to their original state, in

5. Ending the opening, or the narrative can end on a cliff-hanger.

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 Example story mountain
Problem/dilemma 5 minutes
A new supervillain
grows tired of Peter
foiling his plans, and
decides to try to kill
Build up Resolution
Peter.
On a school trip, he Peter defeats the
visits a lab and is bitten supervillain in combat
by a spider, giving him and saves his family
super powers. He uses and friends from
these powers to fight death.
crime.

Opening Ending
Peter is a very Peter tries to return to
successful school his former life, doesn’t
student, but would like know whether to keep
to be more popular. fighting crime or not…

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 Write a story
Problem/dilemma 5 minutes

Build up Resolution

Opening Ending

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Write a story

(24 marks for content and

organisation 16 marks for
technical accuracy = 40 marks)

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 Example response
The station is bustling with life. Every person you could ever wish to meet is present in this small
corner of the world. All nationalities lie in every nook and cranny, waiting to start their journey: there
are workers, there are tourists, there are different partners, there are loners and there are families,
waiting to meet. Everyone is moving quickly; rushing and hanging from the announcement board
that supports the entire station. Everywhere there are bursts of life, like confetti being thrown
randomly, yet everyone is where they need to be. It is as busy as a ant colony: it’s as if the people
are the ants, moving perfectly around each other.
Sunlight streams through the huge windows; illuminating the busy city of transport. The enormous
windows (supported by huge brick columns) let the sunlight in, but shield the station from the
outside, manic world.
Each person is filled with a different emotion – some are happy, some are worried.
The lone black figure at the entrance to the station is holding onto a briefcase which is packed full of
stressful tasks for the day. Opposite him is a family of 4, with two children – one purposefully making
the other cry. A gigantic clock – ticking, angrily – hangs from above, catching everyone’s attention.
And underneath it are bunches of station workers. At the very back are the impressive marble station
steps, who wait for the station master and his staff. Every person imaginable lies in this station!
I can imagine the people and station staff arguing over prices and how this creates a tense
atmosphere.
However, this station is only filled with people making short journeys. One day, could this be gone?
Could this small world, full of light, slowly disappear…?

Range of vocabulary Range of sentence types/structures Range of punctuation

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 Example response
Add your response here

Range of vocabulary Range of sentence types/ structures Range of punctuation

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 Prompts
Features to include: Stylistic devices: Either
□ Similes □ Paragraphs
□ Onomatopoeia □ Simple sentences Write a story about time travel as
□ Adjectives and adverbs □ Compound sentences suggested by this picture:
□ Personification □ Complex sentences
□ Senses □ .,?!C Or
□ Alliteration and assonance □ : ; ( ) ,,
□ Metaphors Describe life as you imagine it in 200
□ Range of vocabulary
years’ time.
□ Connectives

• Use this prompt to help you remember what to include

• Keep checking it – what else do you need to include?

• What have you forgotten to include?

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Paper 1 Question 5

(24 marks for content and

organisation 16 marks for
technical accuracy = 40 marks)

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What went well? Choose two relevant comments

• I have used a range of vocabulary.

• I have used a range of language devices.
• I have used a suitable tone and style.
• I have an effective structure (used paragraphs, connectives etc).
• I have used a wide range of punctuation.
• I use a wide range of sentence types/lengths.
• I accurately use Standard English and spelling/grammar.

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What can I improve? Choose one relevant comment

• In future, I should use a range of vocabulary.

• Next time, I should aim to use a range of language devices.
• To develop, I must use a suitable tone and style.
• In my next piece of writing, I should develop an effective structure (use
paragraphs, connectives etc).
• In future, I need to use a wide range of punctuation.
• To develop, I should use a wide range of sentence types/lengths.
• I need to accurately use Standard English and spelling/grammar.

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Top tips

• Planning is absolutely essential and you should spend 5 minutes

developing a plan.
• Use some of the ideas, themes and topics in the text for Section A to give
you inspiration.
• Prepare ahead of time by developing characters and settings/
surroundings well in advance of the exam (you can start to do this at the
beginning of the year).
• Add a visual list of punctuation at the top of each page to remind you of
which punctuation you have and haven’t used.
• Use of a cliff-hanger can be a really effective way of ending your response.

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