English Composition - Choppy Sentences 1

‘Choppy’ sentences
Fall 2023
Choppy sentences
• A sequence of short and abrupt sentences.
• Identifiable by the absence of conjunctions and other linking devices.
• Commonly written by young children.
• Examples:
Choppy: I like dogs. Dogs make good pets. Dogs are friendly and loyal.
Revised: I like dogs because they are friendly and loyal. That’s why
they make good pets.
Choppy: I went to the store. I wanted to buy a carton of milk. The store was
closed.
Revised: I went to the store to buy a carton of milk but it was closed.
Coordinating conjunctions (FANBOYS)
• Learning how to combine sentences is a writing skill that can greatly
improve composition style.
• One way to combine sentences is to use a coordinating conjunction.
This is a small word that joins two sentences (or clauses). These
conjunctions go in between two sentences; they usually don’t go at
the beginning or end of a sentence.
• There are seven coord. conjunctions: for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so.
• This group of conjunctions is sometimes called FANBOYS.
FOR – tells us the reason why. “We love biryani, for it is salty and spicy.”
AND – means plus. “My mother likes to drink tea and read novels in the
evening.”
NOR – shows two negatives. “John doesn’t do his math homework, nor
does he want to study English.”
BUT – shows contrast or the opposite. “My son likes soccer but he
doesn’t like baseball.”
YET – similar to BUT though it shows something special or unique. “The
children complained about the cold temperatures yet they stayed
outside playing road hockey until 7pm.”
OR – tells us about a choice. “You have two choices: go to school or get

a job.”
SO – tells us the result or ending. “His family doesn’t have much money
so Bill decided to quit school and get a job in a factory.”
Practice exercise 1
• Practice: Edit these choppy sentences by combing them with a coordinating
conjunction: for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so
1. Vegetables are good for you. Vegetables taste good. Vegetables are easy to
prepare.
2. I like movies. I go to movies every weekend. I like action movies best.
3. Elephants are big. They live in Africa and Asia. They eat a lot of food.
4. I hate housework. Housework is boring. It takes too much time. I especially dislike
mopping the floor and ironing.
5. Jennifer was good at science. Her sister had trouble with writing.
6. If you’re certain about your decision, please do it now. You may lose your
chance.
7. The zoo’s only elephant was starving. It had not eaten since last week.
8. I really disliked that teacher. I still wanted to take his class.
9. I will not see you today. I will not see you tomorrow.
10. Adam is a thrill seeker. He enjoys skydiving and bungee jumping. He
goes every chance he gets.
Subordinate Conjunctions
• Subordinate conjunctions are a second way to join two sentences (or
clauses). Subordinate conjunctions are similar to the coordinating
conjunctions, but there are two differences.
1.Subordinate conjunctions can go at the front of the sentence or in the

middle.
2.You may have to change some words in one of the sentences after
joining.
• There are lots of words which can be used to join sentences with
subordination. Here are some of them.
• after, although, as, as if, because, before, even if, even though
• for, if, if only, rather than, since, that, though, unless, until,
• when, where, whereas, wherever, whether, which, while
• Examples….
• Choppy: The truck was making a loud noise. The motor had a
problem.
• Revised: The truck was making a loud noise because it’s motor had a
problem.
• Revised: Because the motor had a problem, the truck was making a
loud noise.
Practice exercise 2
• Use these seven subordinate conjunctions to combine sentences in
each question: after, although, because, before, since, unless,
while
1. The truck driver ate a big meal. Later, he went to work.

2. The newspaper reporter refused to say who gave her the secret
information. She was arrested by the police.
3. I have no money. I can’t go to the play.
4. Polar bears are cute. The mothers are dangerous if they think you are
threatening their cubs.
5. Some university classes are challenging. Others classes are boring.
6. The typhoon ended on Wednesday. Everybody went to the
beach to inspect the damage.
7. My pet has fleas. It needs a bath.
8. We drove to the mountains in the afternoon. We packed the
car in the morning.
9. The government banned cell phones in cars. The plan won’t
work without an enforcement program.
10. Some bananas are green. Other bananas are yellow.
Relative pronouns
• Embed one sentence inside the other using a clause starting with a
relative pronoun:
which, who, whoever, whom, that, whose
• Example: Punjab used to be mainly an agricultural state. It has

recently attracted more industry.
• Revision: Punjab, which used to be mainly an agricultural state, has
recently attracted more industry.
• Example: One of the cameras was not packed very well. It was
damaged during the move.
• Revision: The camera that was not packed very well was damaged
during the move.
• Example: The experiment failed because of Murphy's Law. This law
states that if something can go wrong, it will.
• Revision: The experiment failed because of Murphy's Law, which
states that if something can go wrong, it will.
• Example: Doctor Ramirez specializes in sports medicine. She helped
my cousin recover from a basketball injury.
• Revision 1: Doctor Ramirez, who specializes in sports medicine,
helped my cousin recover from a basketball injury.
Adjective phrases with participles
• Eliminate a be verb (am, is, was, were, are) and substitute a
participle.
• Present participles end in -ing, for example: speaking, carrying,

wearing, dreaming.
• Past participles usually end in -ed, -en, -d, -n, or -t but can be irregular,
for example: worried, eaten, saved, seen, dealt, taught.
• Example: Sam was eager to finish the book. He stayed up all night
reading.
• Revision 1: Sam, eager to finish the book, stayed up all night reading.
• Revision 2: Eager to finish the book, Sam stayed up all night reading.
• Example: Sarah was wearing a fancy hat. She was dressed up for the
class reunion.
• Revision: Sarah, wearing a fancy hat, was dressed up for the class
reunion.
Compare: Present Participle – Active voice
• Example: My roommate made fun of me. She poked me with a
broken pencil.
• Revision: My roommate made fun of me, poking me with a broken
pencil.
(Simultaneous actions - both happening at the same time)
• I opened the drawer. I took out my gun.
• Opening the drawer, I took out my gun.
(Consecutive actions - one after the other - but there is no possible

confusion about which action came first and which second).
Compare: Perfect Participle – Active Voice
• Having shot her pet dog, I carried it outside to put it in the rubbish
bin.
(Consecutive actions. Perfect tense makes it clear that the first action
happened before the second. "Shooting her dog, I carried it outside....."
suggests I was shooting it repeatedly as I carried it outside, which
would be very cruel!)
Compare: Past Participle – Passive voice
• She was infuriated by the cruelty of my action. She strangled my
parrot.
• Infuriated by the cruelty of my action, she strangled my parrot.
(This can be used for simultaneous or consecutive actions where

there is no doubt which came first and which came second.)
Compare: Perfect Participle – Passive voice
• Having been beaten up by her many times before, I fled the house.
(The first action happened before the second. In addition, it carried on over a
long period of time. Both of these factors will require us to use a perfect
participle, whether active or passive.)
[An active voice sentence using a perfect participle would look something like….
Having beaten my friend in the races several times before, I decided to let her
win this time. ]
Practice exercise
1. The young woman was injured. She was unfit to drive.
2. The farmer was exhausted after a day’s work. He threw himself on
the bed.
3. The old lady offered us to show the way home. She realized we
were lost.
4. He was warned several times by his doctor about the dangers of
smoking. He decided to give it up.
Answers
1. Having been injured, the young woman was unfit to drive.
2. Exhausted after a day’s work, the farmer threw himself on the bed.
3. Realizing we were lost, the old lady offered us to show the way
home.
4. Having been warned several times by his doctor about the dangers
of smoking, he decided to give up.

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‘Choppy’ sentences

OR – tells us about a choice. “You have two choices: go to school or get

1.Subordinate conjunctions can go at the front of the sentence or in the

1. The truck driver ate a big meal. Later, he went to work.

• Example: Punjab used to be mainly an agricultural state. It has

• Present participles end in -ing, for example: speaking, carrying,

(Consecutive actions - one after the other - but there is no possible

(This can be used for simultaneous or consecutive actions where

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