My mother says I am not getting younger and should not refuse the proposal. I am confused and don’t know who to listen....
Dear Guru,
I am a 25-year-old working girl. There is a guy at workplace, F, who is two years younger than me, but says he is in love with me. He even sent his parents with his proposal, so he is serious and not playing around. I like him well enough, but am not in love with him. His parents were very rude when they came to meet my parents and insinuated that I somehow trapped their son who was taken in by my beauty. His mother also said that women work to catch gullible men, and are mostly don’t have good morals. The problem is the age difference and I don’t think it would be an easy job for me to convince his parents that I did not trap their son, and I don’t even love him. My mother thinks that the family is rich and once we are married his parents will accept me, but my father thinks that F’s parents seem to have a lot of influence over him and he is financially dependent on them and will remain so because he is not interested in doing his master’s. My mother says I am not getting younger and should not refuse the proposal. I am confused and don’t know who to listen.
Confused Lily
Dear Confused Lily,
A two-year age difference should not deter you if you like the guy well enough to marry, but the real problem, as you are already aware, is the future prospects of this guy. F may love you but is not financially strong enough to support a wife who would not be approved of by his parents. His parents were rude with you and your family, which does not augur well for your marriage to their son. Your mother wants you married, so is willing to overlook the rudeness of this guy’s family. Your father, on the other hand, is aware of the problems this marriage could create for you. Since you don’t love F, you should decide whether you want to marry him just for the sake of getting married, or should wait for a better proposal. F is not serious about doing his master’s, which means his future prospects are not bright, and he will always be under his parents’ influence. In case his parents remain hostile towards you, he wouldn’t be able to take a stand for you. You are not getting younger, but are not old enough to be on the shelf. My dear, nowadays, it is very common to see girls getting married in late twenties and early thirties, so don’t accept the proposal because your mother thinks you won’t get another. Trust yourself and trust God.
Good luck!
Hello Guru,
I am a 28-year-old doctor, engaged to be married in four months’ time. My problem is that I am somewhat overweight. And, please don’t tell me to eat less because I can’t and won’t do that. When I got engaged three years back, I was pretty slim. My fiancé went abroad for higher studies, and returned six months ago. We live in different cities so he still thinks I am as slim as I was when we got engaged. You see, my face is still the same, so even though we video call each other, he has not realized I have gained five Kgs since our engagement. I want to look good, but I cannot not eat, so what should I do?
Foodie Doc
Dear Foodie Doc,
I can’t tell a doctor what she already knows, so my advice is to just burn whatever you eat. Five Kg is not really difficult to lose at your age. Just make sure you exercise enough every day religiously, and try to eat food that is healthy. Avoid fast food and desserts, and when you have hunger pangs, eat green veggies. Drink lots of water and green tea. Instead of three substantial meals, go for six meals with reduced portion size. You will hopefully lose those wretched pounds soon.
Good Luck!
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