Mister Singh’s provides cracking Indian feast as legendary Glasgow eaterie serves up incredible haggis pakora
I hadn't visited Mister Singh's in years and it didn't feature in my top five curry restaurants - but now I'll have to re-think
FUN and games on the radio a couple of weeks ago following claims from Michael Owen — the former Liverpool, Man Utd and England footballer — that he’s NEVER had a cup of tea or coffee.
Personally speaking, I’ve never purchased anything online or eaten a doner kebab — the revolving (or should that be revolting?) elephant leg “meat” on show in every late-night takeaway.
And my Off The Ball sidekick Stuart Cosgrove has never driven a car or tried a bowl of Sugar Puffs. (Quite remarkable for a man of 83 . . . )
Anyway, we asked the listeners what everyday thing they’d never done — and some of the texts and emails were terrific.
There was a Dundonian who’d never eaten a Scotch pie, a woman who has never watched a single episode of any soap opera and a 60-year-old man who’d never been on a bike.
Someone else claimed to have never picked his nose in public (aye, right) and I loved this contribution from a Falkirk fan who said: “I’m 52 and I’ve never had sex. I got close once, but then I found out she was a Dunfermline fan.”
Another listener claimed to have never smoked, tasted Buckfast or had a deep-fried Mars Bar. “As a matter of fact,” he added, “I’m beginning to question if I’m actually Scottish.”
But perhaps my favourite response was from the person who said: “I’ve never believed anything Michael Owen says . . . ”
Anyway, folks, how about this for another top contender? One of my mates — and I swear this is true — has never sampled the delights of a curry!
Ever wondered who orders from the “European” section of the menu at a Chinese or Indian restaurant? Well, it’s him!
Yep, while the rest of us are sweating buckets after going 12 rounds with a king prawn vindaloo, he’s the one nibbling away at a chicken Maryland.
In fairness, though, as a Hamilton Accies fan, I suppose it’s the only taste of Europe he’ll ever get.
Based on the meal I recently enjoyed at Mister Singh’s India in Glasgow, I reckon I could persuade the curry virgin to finally pop his cherry.
It was a cracking Indian feast at a legendary eaterie that’s been serving Glasgow — and beyond — since 1994.
Although I’m not sure about billing itself as “Scotland’s premier restaurant where East meets West”.
Isn’t that the cafe at Harthill Services?
The stylish interior — call me old-fashioned but I love a restaurant with a linen napkin — is only topped by the stylish staff who wear Mister Singh’s own registered tartan kilts “which provide that extra spice thrill”.
And, unlike the only other guy I associate with the kilt — Hardeep Singh Kohli — I didn’t find these guys remotely irritating.
The boss at Mister Singh’s these days is Satty Singh (I always thought he should open a half-Indian/half-Chinese restaurant and call it Satay Singh’s) and, while his kilt is tartan, his nose is a distinct shade of blue . . .
In 1989, dad-to-be Satty was watching his beloved Rangers playing Celtic in a crucial Old Firm derby when he pledged to name his son after the next goalscorer.
Mark Walters promptly hit the back of the net and Satty’s son — Mark Walters Singh — was on duty the night we popped in.
Satty tried the same tactics five years later and you’d fancy that his second boy would be called Ally (McCoist) or perhaps Gordon (Durie).
Nope, his laddie was named after the player who scored his one and only goal for Rangers in a 4-2 win at Parkhead in 1994 — Ukrainian import Oleg Kuznetsov!
Many well-known Rangers names past and present have eaten at Mister Singh’s. Including, I’m guessing, Sir David Ruby Murray and Terry Halal Butcher. (Any truth in the rumour Craig Whyte tried to buy the restaurant for £1 in 2011?)
Crossing the great Glasgow divide, I believe they’ve also welcomed Celtic legends Pakora Bonner, Anton Rogan Josh, Bobo Balti and Vindaloo Macari.
And, if I can squeeze in one last Indian curry pun, I hear they also had a flying visit from former Spanish internationalist Lopez Ufarte . . .
I hadn’t visited Mister Singh’s for donkey’s years and, in Glasgow terms (the curry capital of Scotland), it never featured in my Top Five.
If you’re jotting these down, I’d put Balbir’s at No1, followed by Mother India, Madha, The Shish Mahal and — a relatively new kid on the block I reviewed last year — Obsession Of India (look ’em up).
WHAT DID IT SCORE?
FOOD - 9/10
SERVICE - 5/5
DECOR - 4/5
TOILETS - 4/5
VALUE 4/5
TOTAL - 26/30
On this evidence, however, I need a major rethink. Three of us — I was joined by father and son combo Phil and Davie — enjoyed a veritable Saturday night feast for £40 a head (including beer and wine).
And it’s cheaper if you try the cracking deal available Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday — dinner and wine for two people for just 40 quid.
The beer I mentioned was Mr Singh’s very own lager made with rice and it’s amazing stuff as, unlike most beer — or, indeed, the rice you’d eat with a curry — it doesn’t bag you up.
A few mouthfuls of either one and I’m like one of those giant pythons that’s just swallowed a whole gazelle.
But this was a light, crisp, refreshing ale — and I had 47 pints. (Only joking, doc.)
The food? Well, my pal David is a pilot and he certainly thought it was a helluva lot better than the stuff available at 35,000ft. (He also, quite rightly, described the service at Mister Singh’s as “business class”.)
Our prize-winning restaurant critic Tam Cowan eats at the Glen Lusset in Glasgow
After warm, crisp poppadoms and some particularly good spiced onions, we shared three starters.
The salmon tikka was right up there with Scotland’s best (which, in my book, you’ll find at The Taj in Prestwick) while the tender tandoori lamb chops had been expertly marinated and spiced.
But it was the haggis pakora that really blew us away (not to mention anyone who came into contact with us over the next 48 hours).
Spicy and crunchy, I can’t believe Mister Singh’s run a “pakora masterclass” for punters who want to know how to make their own.
That’s crazy — this recipe should remain a secret.
Talking of trade secrets, Phil only had one question after demolishing a main course called lamb ambala: “How on Earth do they manage to cook lamb as tender as that?”
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Davie’s curry — mutton matka — had a stronger, richer flavour than the lamb and was equally delicious, while the haggis nan on the side also had no shortage of admirers.
You tried one of those? Me neither. But, after sampling a wee bit, I’d say it was right up there with the amazing haggis paratha I ordered a number of years ago at a curryhouse in Lenzie called Rasoi.
To accompany my faultless chicken tikka bhuna, I had a keema paratha and I’m delighted to report that it was made with what I’d call “loose mince” rather than (the norm these days) strips of grey kebab meat, akin to the elephant leg stuff I mentioned earlier.
That was true, by the way — I have NEVER tried a doner kebab.
And listen, while he’s never had a cup of tea or coffee, I’ll remind you that Michael Owen HAS launched his own personal brand of aftershave.
It’s called My Cologne...
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