Charlotte etiquette expert offers tips for families ahead of holidays

CHARLOTTE, N.C. (WBTV) - Many of us have probably seen children at a restaurant with their family, eyes glued to a tablet screen. Maybe you’ve even been the parent who pulls out the screen to try to avoid any public outbursts and get a much needed break.

Experts say those moments of temporary relief can have harmful consequences.

A study released in September found preschool aged children who used a tablet showed more anger and frustration as they got older and had trouble regulating their emotions.

Some Charlotte parents are working to re-engage their children at the dinner table this holiday season by enlisting the help of an etiquette instructor. An instructor might not be attainable for everyone, but Elizabeth Anne Russell with Charlotte School of Etiquette says there are tips every parent could benefit from.

Etiquette is not just about knowing which fork to use.

“Etiquette gives us some social structure around some rules, some guard rails around how we can interact with one another and who each other honor, dignity and respect,” Russell said.

Russell works in banking, but cut back on her full time job to open the school in May. She’s continuing the legacy of her mother and grandmother, who both taught etiquette for 30 years.

Russell starts teaching children at 5 years old.

“It has been the most fun and unexpected year of my life,” Russell said. “I have loved teaching these classes. I love these children.”

As a mom of three, Russell knows the challenges many parents face when it comes to battling screens while dining with young children.

“It’s not teaching a life skill that they’re going to need, which is to enjoy conversation, and to enjoy a meal with your family, and to give them the attention they need,” Russell said.

She says parents need to set a good example for their children. Part of that can be making mealtime fun by turning on music or playing games.

“I think playing games at the table are important,” Russell said. “I think that helps to include your child in the conversation and participate in the meal.”

Upping the chances for a smooth holiday dinner with kids should start before sitting down at the table, Russell said. This can be done by letting the kids know where they are going and expectations for the evening.

But above all, Russell says gratitude is the greatest expression of etiquette. She encourages her children to say thank you, plus one.

“Thank them, plus one compliment. Say one thing you enjoyed before you get back in the car, and tell me about it.

Click here to learn more about Russell’s etiquette courses and her tips.

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