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{{Short description|Emotional, sexual, non physical type of child abuse}}
⚫
'''Covert incest''', also known as '''emotional incest''', is a type of abuse in which a parent looks to their child for the emotional support that would be normally provided by another adult.<ref name="Johnson">{{cite web|last1=Johnson|first1=R. Skip|title= Was Part of Your Childhood Deprived by Emotional Incest? |publisher=[[BPDFamily.com]]|url=http://bpdfamily.com/content/was-part-your-childhood-deprived-emotional-incest|access-date=June 10, 2014}}</ref> The effects of covert incest on children when they become adults are thought to mimic actual incest, although to a lesser degree.<ref name=herman125>{{cite book|title=Father-daughter incest |last= Herman |first= JL |author2=Hirschman L |year=2000 |publisher=[[Harvard University Press]] | url =https://archive.org/details/fatherdaughterin00judi|url-access=registration |isbn= 0-674-00270-9 |quote=|page=[https://archive.org/details/fatherdaughterin00judi/page/125 125]}}</ref> This term describes interactions between a parent and child that are exclusive of sexual abuse.<ref name="Johnson"/>
'''Covert incest''' is a form of non-physical sexual abuse. The term could also refer to [[enmeshment]], although the failure to separate the two has been pointed out as problematic.

Examples of covert incest could be the parent sharing intimate, graphic details of their own sex life to the child, practicing [[voyeurism]], [[exhibitionism]], inappropriate sharing of images, and similar behaviors that, while still being sexual abuse, are described as [[covert]] for their intangible nature. Covert incest is often difficult to detect.

⚫
Covert incest is often used synonymously with the controversial term '''emotional incest.''' Emotional incest, more often described as [[enmeshment]] or "surrogate spouse syndrome", refers to a type of harmful relationship in which a parent looks to their [[child]] for the emotional support that would be normally provided by another adult. <ref name="Johnson">{{cite web|last1=Johnson|first1=R. Skip|title= Was Part of Your Childhood Deprived by Emotional Incest? |publisher=[[BPDFamily.com]]|url=http://bpdfamily.com/content/was-part-your-childhood-deprived-emotional-incest|access-date=June 10, 2014}}</ref> This term describes interactions between a parent and child that are exclusive of sexual abuse.<ref name="Johnson"/>


==Concept==
==Concept==
''Covert incest'' was defined in the 1980s<ref name=Jacobson2001>{{cite journal | author = Jacobson M | year = 2001 | title = Child sexual abuse and the multidisciplinary team approach: contradictions in practice | journal = Childhood | volume = 8 | issue = 2 | pages = 231 | doi = 10.1177/0907568201008002006 }}</ref> as an [[Psychological abuse|emotionally abusive]]<ref name = Friel>{{cite book |author=Friel DL & Friel JC |title=Adult children: the secrets of dysfunctional families |publisher=Health Communications |location=Deerfield Beach, Fla |year=1988 |pages= |isbn=0-932194-53-2}}</ref> relationship between a parental figure and child that does not involve [[incest]] or [[sexual intercourse]], though it involves similar interpersonal dynamics as a relationship between [[sexual partner]]s.<ref name=Jacobson2001/><ref name= "Love-Bantam">{{cite book |author=Love PG |title=The Emotional Incest Syndrome : What to do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life |publisher=Bantam |location=London |year= 1991|pages= |isbn=0-553-35275-X }}</ref><ref>{{cite book|title=The Intimacy Struggle |first=JG |last=Woititz |year=1993 |pages=61| publisher=HCI |isbn=1-55874-277-8}}</ref> Defining such relationships as "incest" has led to criticism of the concept for dramatically loosening the definition of incest, making [[child abuse]] seem more prevalent than it actually is<ref name = Pendergrast>{{cite book |author=Pendergrast, Mark |title=Victims of memory: sex abuse accusations and shattered lives |publisher=Upper Access |location=Hinesburg, Vt |year=1996 |pages= |isbn=0-942679-18-0 |oclc= |doi= | access-date = April 17, 2008 | url = https://books.google.com/books?id=zZgSSh6L4HIC&pg=PA11&dq=+%22covert+incest%22 }}</ref><ref name = Bjorklund>{{cite book |author=Bjorklund, David F. |title=False-memory creation in children and adults: theory, research, and implications |publisher=L. Erlbaum |location=Hillsdale, N.J |year=2000 |pages= |isbn=0-8058-3169-X |oclc= |doi= |access-date=}}</ref><ref name = Kaminer>{{cite book |authorlink=Wendy Kaminer |author=Kaminer, Wendy |title=I'm dysfunctional, you're dysfunctional: the recovery movement and other self-help fashions |publisher=Vintage Books |location=New York |year=1993 |isbn=0-679-74585-8 |oclc= |doi= |access-date= |quote= |page=[https://archive.org/details/imdysfunctional000kami/page/27 27] |title-link=I'm Dysfunctional, You're Dysfunctional }}</ref> and being over-used and unsubstantiated.<ref name = "Ross">{{cite web | last = Weisberg-Ross | first = Roni | title = Covert/Emotional Incest - How Real Is It? | url = http://ezinearticles.com/?Covert/Emotional-Incest---How-Real-Is-It?&id=6789184 | access-date = June 5, 2017 | date = January 1, 2012 | publisher = Ezine }}</ref>
''Covert incest'' was defined in the 1980s<ref name=Jacobson2001>{{cite journal | author = Jacobson M | year = 2001 | title = Child sexual abuse and the multidisciplinary team approach: contradictions in practice | journal = Childhood | volume = 8 | issue = 2 | pages = 231 | doi = 10.1177/0907568201008002006 | s2cid = 144138225 }}</ref> as an [[Psychological abuse|emotionally abusive]]<ref name = Friel>{{cite book |author=Friel DL & Friel JC |title=Adult children: the secrets of dysfunctional families |publisher=Health Communications |location=Deerfield Beach, Fla |year=1988 |isbn=0-932194-53-2}}</ref> relationship between a parental figure and child that does not involve [[incest]] or [[sexual intercourse]], though it involves similar interpersonal dynamics as a relationship between [[sexual partner]]s.<ref name=Jacobson2001/><ref name= "Love-Bantam">{{cite book |author=Love PG |title=The Emotional Incest Syndrome : What to do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life |publisher=Bantam |location=London |year= 1991|isbn=0-553-35275-X }}</ref><ref>{{cite book|title=The Intimacy Struggle |first=JG |last=Woititz |year=1993 |pages=61| publisher=HCI |isbn=1-55874-277-8}}</ref> Defining such relationships as "incest" has led to criticism of the concept for dramatically loosening the definition of incest, making [[child abuse]] seem more prevalent than it actually is<ref name = Pendergrast>{{cite book |author=Pendergrast, Mark |title=Victims of memory: sex abuse accusations and shattered lives |publisher=Upper Access |location=Hinesburg, Vt |year=1996 |isbn=0-942679-18-0 | access-date = April 17, 2008 | url = https://books.google.com/books?id=zZgSSh6L4HIC&dq=+%22covert+incest%22&pg=PA11 }}</ref><ref name = Bjorklund>{{cite book |author=Bjorklund, David F. |title=False-memory creation in children and adults: theory, research, and implications |publisher=L. Erlbaum |location=Hillsdale, N.J |year=2000 |isbn=0-8058-3169-X }}</ref><ref name = Kaminer>{{cite book |author-link=Wendy Kaminer |author=Kaminer, Wendy |title=I'm dysfunctional, you're dysfunctional: the recovery movement and other self-help fashions |publisher=Vintage Books |location=New York |year=1993 |isbn=0-679-74585-8 |page=[https://archive.org/details/imdysfunctional000kami/page/27 27] |title-link=I'm Dysfunctional, You're Dysfunctional }}</ref> and being overused and unsubstantiated.<ref name = "Ross">{{cite web | last = Weisberg-Ross | first = Roni | title = Covert/Emotional Incest - How Real Is It? | url = http://ezinearticles.com/?Covert/Emotional-Incest---How-Real-Is-It?&id=6789184 | access-date = June 5, 2017 | date = January 1, 2012 | publisher = Ezine }}</ref>


Covert incest is described as occurring when a parent is unable or unwilling to maintain a relationship with another adult and forces the emotional role of a [[Marriage|spouse]] onto their child instead.<ref name = Friel/> The child's needs are ignored and instead the relationship exists solely to meet the needs of the parent<ref name="Johnson"/><ref name = Pendergrast/> and the adult may not be aware of the problems created by their actions.<ref name = Gartner>{{cite book |author=Gartner RB |title=Betrayed as boys: psychodynamic treatment of sexually abused men |publisher=Guilford Press |location=New York |year=1999 |pages= |isbn=1-57230-644-0 |oclc= |doi= | access-date = April 17, 2008 | url = https://books.google.com/books?id=qzGfz6fyOAAC&pg=PA26}}</ref>
Covert incest is described as occurring when a parent is unable or unwilling to maintain a relationship with another adult and forces the emotional role of a [[Marriage|spouse]] onto their child instead.<ref name = Friel/> The child's needs are ignored and instead the relationship exists solely to meet the needs of the parent<ref name="Johnson"/><ref name = Pendergrast/> and the adult may not be aware of the problems created by their actions.<ref name = Gartner>{{cite book |author=Gartner RB |title=Betrayed as boys: psychodynamic treatment of sexually abused men |publisher=Guilford Press |location=New York |year=1999 |isbn=1-57230-644-0 | access-date = April 17, 2008 | url = https://books.google.com/books?id=qzGfz6fyOAAC&pg=PA26}}</ref>


The effects of covert incest are thought to mimic actual incest though to a lesser degree,<ref name=herman125/> and Kenneth Adams, who originated the concept, describes the victims as having anger or guilt towards parents and problems with [[self-esteem]], addiction and sexual and emotional intimacy.<ref name=Adams>{{cite book |author=Adams K |title=Silently Seduced : When Parents Make their Children Partners - Understanding Covert Incest |publisher=HCI |location= |year=1991 |pages= |isbn=1-55874-131-3 |oclc= |doi=| url = https://books.google.com/books?id=ntvDUz8U3EYC&printsec=frontcover | access-date = April 14, 2008}}</ref> Psychotherapist Roni Weisberg-Ross has noted that the term may not be particularly useful, since it can lead to attributing nearly any possible dysfunctional relationship or problem, becoming "a catchall, watered down diagnosis". Ross also criticizes the term for its emphasis on children meeting parents' "unmet needs", noting that children often meet the emotional or other needs of parents, with relationship boundaries frequently blurring and no definition of when this leads to permanent damage or harm.<ref name = "Ross"/>
The effects of covert incest are thought to mimic actual incest, though to a lesser degree.<ref name="herman125">{{cite book |last=Herman |first=JL |url=https://archive.org/details/fatherdaughterin00judi |title=Father-daughter incest |author2=Hirschman L |publisher=[[Harvard University Press]] |year=2000 |isbn=0-674-00270-9 |page=[https://archive.org/details/fatherdaughterin00judi/page/125 125] |url-access=registration}}</ref> Kenneth Adams, who originated the concept, describes the victims as having anger or guilt towards parents and problems with [[self-esteem]], addiction, and sexual and emotional intimacy.<ref name=Adams>{{cite book |author=Adams K |title=Silently Seduced : When Parents Make their Children Partners - Understanding Covert Incest |publisher=HCI |year=1991 |isbn=1-55874-131-3 | url = https://books.google.com/books?id=ntvDUz8U3EYC | access-date = April 14, 2008}}</ref> Psychotherapist Roni Weisberg-Ross has noted that the term may not be particularly useful, since it can lead to attributing nearly any possible dysfunctional relationship or problem, becoming "a catchall, watered-down diagnosis". Ross also criticizes the term for its emphasis on children meeting parents' "unmet needs", noting that children often meet the emotional or other needs of parents, with relationship boundaries frequently blurring and no definition of when this leads to permanent damage or harm.<ref name = "Ross"/>


[[Analytical psychology|Jungian analyst]] and author [[Marion Woodman]] describes covert incest as "unboundaried bonding" in which the parent or parents use the child as a mirror to support their needs, rather than mirroring the child in support of the child's emotional development.<ref name=woodman139>{{cite book |title=Conscious Femininity: Interviews with Marion Woodman |first=Marion |last=Woodman |publisher=Inner City Books |year=1993 |page=[https://archive.org/details/consciousfeminin00wood_0/page/139 139] |isbn=0-919123-59-7 |url=https://archive.org/details/consciousfeminin00wood_0/page/139 }}</ref>
[[Analytical psychology|Jungian analyst]] and author [[Marion Woodman]] describes covert incest as "unboundaried bonding" in which the parent or parents use the child as a mirror to support their needs, rather than [[mirroring]] the child in support of the child's emotional development.<ref name=woodman139>{{cite book |title=Conscious Femininity: Interviews with Marion Woodman |first=Marion |last=Woodman |publisher=Inner City Books |year=1993 |page=[https://archive.org/details/consciousfeminin00wood_0/page/139 139] |isbn=0-919123-59-7 |url=https://archive.org/details/consciousfeminin00wood_0/page/139 }}</ref>


[[Alcoholism]] and other substance addictions are also associated with the occurrence of covert incest.<ref name=Potter2>{{cite book |title=Aggression, Family Violence, and Chemical Dependency |first=RT|last=Potter-Efron|author2=Potter-Efron PS |year=1990 |publisher=Haworth Press |pages=[https://archive.org/details/aggressionfamily00pott/page/133 133]–135| url =https://archive.org/details/aggressionfamily00pott |url-access=registration |isbn=0-86656-964-2}}</ref><ref name= Barnard>{{cite book |title=Families With an Alcoholic Member: The Invisible Patient |first=CP |last=Barnard |year=1990 |publisher=Human Sciences Press |pages=[https://archive.org/details/familieswithalco00barn/page/139 139] |isbn=0-89885-479-2 |url=https://archive.org/details/familieswithalco00barn/page/139 }}</ref>
[[Alcoholism]] and other substance addictions are also associated with the occurrence of covert incest.<ref name=Potter2>{{cite book |title=Aggression, Family Violence, and Chemical Dependency |first=RT|last=Potter-Efron|author2=Potter-Efron PS |year=1990 |publisher=Haworth Press |pages=[https://archive.org/details/aggressionfamily00pott/page/133 133]–135| url =https://archive.org/details/aggressionfamily00pott |url-access=registration |isbn=0-86656-964-2}}</ref><ref name= Barnard>{{cite book |title=Families With an Alcoholic Member: The Invisible Patient |first=CP |last=Barnard |year=1990 |publisher=Human Sciences Press |pages=[https://archive.org/details/familieswithalco00barn/page/139 139] |isbn=0-89885-479-2 |url=https://archive.org/details/familieswithalco00barn/page/139 }}</ref>
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==References==
==References==
{{Reflist|2}}
{{Reflist}}


{{Incest}}
{{Incest}}

Latest revision as of 09:58, 14 November 2024

Covert incest is a form of non-physical sexual abuse. The term could also refer to enmeshment, although the failure to separate the two has been pointed out as problematic.

Examples of covert incest could be the parent sharing intimate, graphic details of their own sex life to the child, practicing voyeurism, exhibitionism, inappropriate sharing of images, and similar behaviors that, while still being sexual abuse, are described as covert for their intangible nature. Covert incest is often difficult to detect.

Covert incest is often used synonymously with the controversial term emotional incest. Emotional incest, more often described as enmeshment or "surrogate spouse syndrome", refers to a type of harmful relationship in which a parent looks to their child for the emotional support that would be normally provided by another adult. [1] This term describes interactions between a parent and child that are exclusive of sexual abuse.[1]

Concept

[edit]

Covert incest was defined in the 1980s[2] as an emotionally abusive[3] relationship between a parental figure and child that does not involve incest or sexual intercourse, though it involves similar interpersonal dynamics as a relationship between sexual partners.[2][4][5] Defining such relationships as "incest" has led to criticism of the concept for dramatically loosening the definition of incest, making child abuse seem more prevalent than it actually is[6][7][8] and being overused and unsubstantiated.[9]

Covert incest is described as occurring when a parent is unable or unwilling to maintain a relationship with another adult and forces the emotional role of a spouse onto their child instead.[3] The child's needs are ignored and instead the relationship exists solely to meet the needs of the parent[1][6] and the adult may not be aware of the problems created by their actions.[10]

The effects of covert incest are thought to mimic actual incest, though to a lesser degree.[11] Kenneth Adams, who originated the concept, describes the victims as having anger or guilt towards parents and problems with self-esteem, addiction, and sexual and emotional intimacy.[12] Psychotherapist Roni Weisberg-Ross has noted that the term may not be particularly useful, since it can lead to attributing nearly any possible dysfunctional relationship or problem, becoming "a catchall, watered-down diagnosis". Ross also criticizes the term for its emphasis on children meeting parents' "unmet needs", noting that children often meet the emotional or other needs of parents, with relationship boundaries frequently blurring and no definition of when this leads to permanent damage or harm.[9]

Jungian analyst and author Marion Woodman describes covert incest as "unboundaried bonding" in which the parent or parents use the child as a mirror to support their needs, rather than mirroring the child in support of the child's emotional development.[13]

Alcoholism and other substance addictions are also associated with the occurrence of covert incest.[14][15]

See also

[edit]

References

[edit]
  1. ^ a b c Johnson, R. Skip. "Was Part of Your Childhood Deprived by Emotional Incest?". BPDFamily.com. Retrieved June 10, 2014.
  2. ^ a b Jacobson M (2001). "Child sexual abuse and the multidisciplinary team approach: contradictions in practice". Childhood. 8 (2): 231. doi:10.1177/0907568201008002006. S2CID 144138225.
  3. ^ a b Friel DL & Friel JC (1988). Adult children: the secrets of dysfunctional families. Deerfield Beach, Fla: Health Communications. ISBN 0-932194-53-2.
  4. ^ Love PG (1991). The Emotional Incest Syndrome : What to do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life. London: Bantam. ISBN 0-553-35275-X.
  5. ^ Woititz, JG (1993). The Intimacy Struggle. HCI. p. 61. ISBN 1-55874-277-8.
  6. ^ a b Pendergrast, Mark (1996). Victims of memory: sex abuse accusations and shattered lives. Hinesburg, Vt: Upper Access. ISBN 0-942679-18-0. Retrieved April 17, 2008.
  7. ^ Bjorklund, David F. (2000). False-memory creation in children and adults: theory, research, and implications. Hillsdale, N.J: L. Erlbaum. ISBN 0-8058-3169-X.
  8. ^ Kaminer, Wendy (1993). I'm dysfunctional, you're dysfunctional: the recovery movement and other self-help fashions. New York: Vintage Books. p. 27. ISBN 0-679-74585-8.
  9. ^ a b Weisberg-Ross, Roni (January 1, 2012). "Covert/Emotional Incest - How Real Is It?". Ezine. Retrieved June 5, 2017.
  10. ^ Gartner RB (1999). Betrayed as boys: psychodynamic treatment of sexually abused men. New York: Guilford Press. ISBN 1-57230-644-0. Retrieved April 17, 2008.
  11. ^ Herman, JL; Hirschman L (2000). Father-daughter incest. Harvard University Press. p. 125. ISBN 0-674-00270-9.
  12. ^ Adams K (1991). Silently Seduced : When Parents Make their Children Partners - Understanding Covert Incest. HCI. ISBN 1-55874-131-3. Retrieved April 14, 2008.
  13. ^ Woodman, Marion (1993). Conscious Femininity: Interviews with Marion Woodman. Inner City Books. p. 139. ISBN 0-919123-59-7.
  14. ^ Potter-Efron, RT; Potter-Efron PS (1990). Aggression, Family Violence, and Chemical Dependency. Haworth Press. pp. 133–135. ISBN 0-86656-964-2.
  15. ^ Barnard, CP (1990). Families With an Alcoholic Member: The Invisible Patient. Human Sciences Press. pp. 139. ISBN 0-89885-479-2.
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