People Who Were Actually In Cults Share Their Escape Stories
- 1
Her Mother Abandoned Her
Redditor/u/WizFish:
"My birth mother is Ashayana Deane, who is a cult leader in her own right. She has so many people brainwashed into believing she's some sort of prodigy that communicates with aliens and whatnot. She basically disowned me because I refused to hop into the crazy with her. She forbade my siblings from having any contact with me too, lest they also be disowned and lose out on all her money that she's snatched from these gullible followers of hers.
"Ashayana Deane. Google her. She's nuts."
- 2
It Started Out Okay But Then Became A Doomsday Cult
Redditor/u/SaintBrandon:
"My parents joined a cult in west Texas when I was about eight or nine after searching for 'the truth' their whole adult lives.
"Long story short, it wasn't that crazy at first. I like to use the frog in boiling water analogy. If it was that batsh*t insane when they first started going, they wouldn't have stayed.
"It became a doomsday cult, multiple marriage, all the girls were married up by old elders leaving nothing for us young dudes so naturally, we rebelled."
My escape wasn't as harrowing as some others but my leaving did set up me saving my 15 year old sister (under cover of darkness abducting her from my dads house and transporting her to my mom in LA) from marrying an elder who already had 4 wives and about 10 kids who was later arrested for molesting his step daughter...
Personally, my breaking point was being born with pretty severe flat feet that required surgery but doctors, medications, and hospitals were considered 'witchcraft and sorcery.' I got tired of asking God to heal my feet and being told that I didn't have enough faith. That is completely demoralizing and will make anyone lose their religion, especially a 17 year old.
About my parents reaction, my mom was the first to leave. My older brother (who was still in the church) took her to a bus stop to live with other family members because she had become suicidal about the conditions of living there. Misery, poverty, and squalor will make anyone go insane. I'll never forget the conversation when my Dad realized my brother took her to the bus stop.
Dad: 'How could you take my wife from me like that?' Brother: 'Because I didn't want her to die. Dad: 'She's dead now because she left and her blood is on your hands.'
Ugh, I hear that conversation weekly in my head...
I guess the thing that floored me the most was hearing after I left was that the cult leader was allowed to have children who were set apart to marry him blow him under his desk while he worked. Sick. Oh god, how sick can people be?"
- 3
His Family Burned The Television
Redditor/u/gjsimpson1979:
"I realized my family was in a cult when I was 10 and we had a burn party for the television. As it exploded, people chanted, 'Die, Satan! Die!'"
- 4
Some People Just Got Sucked Into The Abyss
Redditor/u/01938:
"I grew up in the Family Radio cult. What they are mostly remembered for is their 2011 prediction of the end of the world and rapture. Spoiler: the world didn't end. I was a young adult and able to leave in the chaotic aftermath without too much of a fight from my parents. I'm doing... okay. Many people are not. Some are still making more predictions.
"I do want to take a second and say that 90% of the people in the group were kind people who really didn't want the world to end, but were just so brainwashed that they really believed it. Some of the nicest, most giving people just got sucked in, chewed up, and swallowed in the abyss that was."
- 5
She Was Held Hostage By Scientologists And The Cops Refused To Help
Redditor/u/ChopChopMadafaka:
"I literally walked in to the church of Scientology. I moved to Clearwater as a minor, made some friends, and walked into (without anyone present with me) in to what I thought was a museum. Being brought up without any religion - although both my parents were raised conservative Muslims - I grabbed on to the ideology of 'you are what you make of yourself.'
"Long story short, five years later, while working for a Scientology-owned company while still exploring whether I wanted to join or not I got held hostage (literally) for three hours because I wouldn't accept their philosophy on a small incident. [I] left the work force only to have a beer bottle broken over my head by my LTR [long term relationship] life-long scientologist boyfriend and have the cops (who were Scientologists) arrive at the house to determine there was nothing to " escalate to a domestic violence report " and then later on (two days later) flee the house with my dogs and take what little I could with the time I had for my own safety.
"So yeah, that's my life in the cult. Some people are cool, most people are brainwashed."
- 6
She Walked Away And Lost Everything
Redditor/u/JustDatingTowns:
"From birth. Literally walked away without a penny at 21. When you leave a cult, you not only lose your home, family, [and] financial stability, but you lose your lifelong identity, your only known community, and you lose the ability to be sure of anything anymore."
- 7
He Still Hasn't Fullt Adjusted
Redditor/u/blackhawk007one:
"Fellow former member. Family joined when I was 7ish, and my whole life revolved around it and the local home church of fellow ATI members. Said f*ck it around 15 to that system, left home when I could legally. My parents eventually came around, and I was able to fully reconcile with them before my mom passed. My much younger siblings have normal lives going to clubs and concerts and are fairly well adjusted. I'm 29 now and still not adjusted."
- 8
He Watched His Mom And Sister Get Mistreated
Redditor/u/PwnasaurusWrekt:
"Fellow ex-ATI here. My dad joined from the beginning. We were a "pilot family". We went to all the places: Northwoods, Headquarters and Flint. I worked the the publishing house for a while. I sat in Bill's office and watched him work. I found it odd, even from the inside, that he needed to have a 15-year-old girl do his typing for him. His excuse was that computers are temptation. But 12 hours a day of watching somebody strikes me as worse.
"As I got older I got out. My parents divorced so that helped the transition. At least I had a place to go. As a guy, ATI wasn't as bad for me. But I saw the way my sister and mother were treated. It makes no sense. My dad still follows even after the allegations about Bill came into the light."
- 9
He Spent Six Weeks In Solitary
Redditor/u/ZPHdude:
"I was in the life focus apprenticeship program in ATI. I went through six weeks of solitary because I couldn't memorize scripture. I still feel really f*cked over. Still recovering, and learning what it means to be human after being out for ten years. In some ways I wish I never woke from the fantasy, life would make a lot more sense. That being said, it does feel better to authentically love others."
- 10
He Thought It Was Normal To Put Babies In Car Trunks
Redditor/u/Skishkitteh:
"[When I was four years free of the cult and] I had a job and good friends. We were at a sports bar and I made a joke about how nice someone's trunk blanket must have been (think silver spoon analogy). Everyone stopped and asked what I meant. I explained that our friend must have been wrapped in only the softest most colorful blanket before her parents shut her in the cars trunk to stop the crying, my household only had an ugly towel! Hahahaha look how spoiled you are... Why is everyone stopped?
"I later took a class in infant care despite never wanting kids because I don't want to accidentally murder an infant child. Its amazing what the human mind can recognize as normal."
- 11
Latin Dancing Helped Him Finally Break Free
Reditor/u/djangelic:
"I don't know if a lot of people have heard of William Branham, but he was friends with Jim Jones of Jonestown massacre fame. I was born into a church in an island in the Caribbean where the pastor had his fingers in everyone's lives and they saw William Branham as a prophet sent in the end times to usher in the rapture. Think old school hardcore Pentecostal but with access to people's finances as well.
"Well my parents got tired of that and moved to a state the Midwest United States. where they had a sister church that was a bit more liberal (the pastor didn't ask how much people made). All of these church's taught that holiness required that women not cut their hair or wear pants or makeup. Men couldn't wear shorts or have facial hair. Smoking and drinking were explicitly not allowed. I was raised in this and didn't know any better.
"At 16 years old, our pastor had a vision to move out west, so the entire midwest church up and left for a state in the west United States.
"Growing up my parents were more liberal than most, and I had a very happy childhood. When I reached 18, I was finally allowed to date. Dating is very strict and they split it into three "phases" (their term). Because of the distance the church puts on you and the other person, anyone dating is really making a beeline towards marriage/getting laid. Most kids are scared of the world ending and ending up in heaven a virgin so as soon as someone is 18, most people in the church marry.
"Phase one is simply talking to a girl. For most youth get togethers, sexes are split and if a guy is seen talking to a girl for more than a few minutes at a time, he better be ready to explain himself to the church leaders. If he likes a girl, he can tell the leadership he wants to get to know a girl better and they are officially in the first phase. At first phase you are allowed to talk to that specific girl and that is it. No touching or hand holding.
"Phase two is when you are officially dating someone. You are allowed to hold hands but nothing else. At this point you need to talk to the girl's parents to make sure they are okay with you dating their daughter. Most parents require a chaperone at this point since they are allowed to go on dates at this point.
"Phase three is engagement. At this point you ask the woman's father for his permission to marry, and then you propose. Kissing is still not allowed at this point. On paper no one kisses before their wedding day, however in practice most couples end up sneaking kisses and more (except penetrative sex) during this point. It also depends on the parents since some parents are super strict about chaperones and some aren't.
"I married at 20, which was pretty old, but my ex-wife had barely turned 18. We were both kids and had no clue what we were doing. I was required to marry someone in the church so I had few options as to who I could marry (the local church only has around 100 people so during church conventions where 1-2k people would gather, it was a veritable dating frenzy.)
"I was very sincere in my belief of the church and when I married it was to have kids and to keep the church going. My ex-wife, however, had only started going to the church since she was 13 so she wasn't as brainwashed as I was and eventually left me for another man. I agonized a lot over this, and eventually started seeing a therapist for couples counseling (normally you see the pastor for counseling, but since she had left the church she refused to see the pastor so I told her I was willing to go to a regular therapist).
"She ended up only attending one meeting and I kept going at first hoping to convince her to go, then eventually just using it as regular therapy. The therapist convinced me to follow my passion for Latin dancing (dancing was strictly not allowed in the church unless it was "in the spirit" which meant you basically marched to music). Dancing taught me to treat women as equals and taught me confidence. Before I was never allowed to touch or hug women I wasn't related to but during dancing, I learned that touching is natural and normal.
"I eventually left the church at 25 years old, and had my first drink (the church basically teaches you that one drink will get you drunk so imagine my disappointment at my first margarita). I became a flight attendant and married another flight attendant. She has been amazing and has opened my eyes so much. I had to learn to make love again as missionary was pretty much the only thing I knew. We also just started a cannabis based business!"
- 12
The Internet Helped Him Expand His World View
Redditor/u/cultthrowawayaway:
"I was raised in the... cult. It seems like church migrations are a common thing. My dad was/is a Branhamite (though they never call themselves that) pastor in Canada, and had a vision to move to another province. That caused the church to split, with half leaving and half staying. I stayed "Message" (which is what people in the cult call the church, for anyone else reading) until I was in my early teens.
"When I was a preteen, my mom left my dad, taking me with. This caused the church to split again, and it was really messy and most (Canadian, anyway) other message churches shunned my dad. I questioned things till my mid-teens when I completely stopped attending and became an atheist. I was under less control, because my mom didn't bother (and had her own form of questioning to go through), so it was easier for me to question (unsupervised access to the internet, very helpful in leaving a cult) my beliefs than it would have been for my siblings or anyone else raised in the church.
"My dad's church never fully recovered, and (as far as I know, haven't talked to him in a few years) he's still the pastor, but there are only two or three families in his "congregation" (and they're all related to each other). Most other message churches (especially in Canada) shun my dad, because of crap he did during my mom's separation (and probably before, honestly). So I didn't get the full teenage experience, with courtship rituals, church camps and all that; but my older siblings did and there are some crazy stories there. I remained under my dads control until I cut contact with him a few years, and in a way that was like still being in a cult, in terms of keeping me very brainwashed in my worldviews and very controlled."
- 13
They Got Him Through High School
Redditor/u/logictoinsanity:
"I ran away from home at 16 and joined this weird spiritualistic cult. They didn't have any gods, but they believed a lot in spirits and ancestors and stuff. We all lived in this big house owned by the leader guy who's name was Johnathan.
"Jonathan had a special kind of connection to the spirit world or whatever. They were all super good people, they took me in, gave me food and clothes and stuff. One of the guys gave me a job in his company. They had a lot of rituals and stuff we all did, with a huge emphasis on community and common good and honoring the dead. It wasn't a bad thing so does that make it not a cult? I dunno they did require a lot of dedication to the group and stuff, I believe 5% of income had to go to the cult, to help Jonathan with rent and so they could all buy food and sh*t. I lived with them for a few years, they got me through high school and without them I never would've gone to college, which is the reason I left and where I am now."
- 14
She Was Ostracized For Asking Questions
Redditor/u/cd31paws:
"My mom was in this cultish organization in her 20s (not really sure why she joined...?) and used to talk a lot about her glory days. When my siblings and I were old enough to participate, naturally, we joined. They require you to pay to be there and participate in the mission trips/teaching (which are basically required to maintain membership) and then require total submission from women to men and the group leadership and complete submission from the guys to the group leadership. Lots of hierarchy and if you don't "hear the voice of God," you're f*cked.
"As a woman, if I disagreed with anything my superiors said, they would ostracize me and do pretty much everything in their power (which was a lot) to make my life hell. They preyed on people who have low self-esteem and few friends then they teach you that you only matter if you hear and obey God and then effectively make it so only friends you have are members. Even though I had friends and good [enough] self-esteem when I joined, I started feeling pretty sh*tty about myself and lost almost all of my friends (outside because obviously and inside because I asked questions).
"The most cultish part of my experience was that despite all of this, they still enticed me to come back a few times and rejoin activities, committing to greater and greater responsibility each time, which meant worse treatment each time because, for me, having greater responsibility meant asking questions sometimes. Even logistical clarification questions (ie. when are we supposed to be at X event, what's the address of Y location) infuriated my leader. When I tried to talk to his leaders about this, they tried to gaslight me then ostracize me. On third time back, I promised myself I would never return.
"My brother is still involved and it makes family gatherings extra tough. My sister would be involved if her husband's job would allow him to relocate. I went back 1 time to see my brother get married (to another member). I ran into my old crew and leader who discouraged me from starting medical school, noting that it would delay my marriage and childbearing and that the workforce isn't the woman's place. It's a message I've been hearing from my mom for years and continue to hear every time we talk. It's very hard continuing to be a part of a family that's so deep in this ideology."
- 15
He Joined For Stability
Redditor/u/PoorlyRestrainedFart:
"Joined the Twelve Tribes of Israel back in 2012, I met them through one of their cafés in Colorado. The idea of communal living and dedication to a cause was very appealing to someone who hadn't had a job in a while and was going to lose their home soon.
"The mask of super-friendliness and hospitality was covering up racism, child abuse, and total domination if people's lives. I mean TOTAL. From what time you woke up, to how you dress, to how to wipe... Spent three years of my life there, working 12 to 16 hour days six days a week. I was being groomed to get married and become a leader in "the community" when I left with just some clothes. The controlling nature of the place made it feel like a prison camp and I couldn't take it anymore. A year and a half later and I'm the happiest I've ever been."
- 16
She Struggled With Self-Harm Before Finally Breaking Free
Redditor/u/Festeringtrolley:
"I was born into [it] as well.
"Indoctrination began in the womb. She would play their songs and discourses thru headphones on her belly. My dad was quickly ranking up in 'privileges' AKA higher positions in the congregation and as I grew I was strictly watched and imitated by other born in kids as to how they should act. To say I lived a strict life is beyond an understatement.
"Unfortunately at 4 years old, I was molested by a man with a high rank. I hid that for my entire life fearing rebuke and punishment upon myself and parents. As soon as I could write I would journal how badly I wanted to die and how much I hated the cult. I was pressured into baptism at a young age and had no idea of what a horrible mistake that was . This is a cult that loves to shun and use family to guilt u into servitude or staying in the cult.
"At 16, I had already tried to kill myself multiple times and a girl from school and her mother decided they would help me escape the cult. Yeah that didn't happen and I was nearly beaten to death by my father and my mother held a knife to her throat screaming until I said I wouldn't leave.
"More child abuse by high ranking members happened. More suicide attempts. There was no way out. The last time I tried to kill myself it was my 21st birthday. I don't know how I didn't die. My parents didn't really care but it just meant I would have to be dealt with harder. I had no privacy, no choice in anything, constant room searches, constant suspicion, and constant depression.
"I tried to find happiness through love because that's pretty much all you can do as a woman in this cult is get married. The guys were abusive and horrible. I had my own phone and would get on Reddit at night as kind of an escape . I found the exjw subreddit and would read every post. I finally felt I wasn't alone and others were just like me... but I was still an adult stuck in hell.
"I would also like to add the religion is against college and my parents would only allow me to work part time as I was required to go in the ministry a certain amount of time. I barely had any money and honestly had no hope. All those JW friends were horrible people who would do anything to get the chance to report me to elders and get me shunned because they fed off gossip and slander. I tried making friends at work but cult mind logic gives you horrid social skills. Plus if you dare mention associating with "worldly" people u get yanked into an elders meeting and counseled.
"Lonely, I later discovered the r4r subreddit and posted about how I was in desperate search of friends. ONLY FRIENDS haha... and that's how I met my boyfriend. It's funny to me because I was so scared of "worldly" men and their horrible lies and sweet talking. As a friend, he couldn't stand the abuse I was going through. So he helped me escape. First he helped me mentally. If it wasn't for him I would still be there. Later he moved me in with him after we dated 6 months. Now I'm many states away and finally enjoying life. I have freedom and love.
"I still struggle with cult mindset. I'm in therapy and see a psychiatrist. I have emotional problems and trust issues. This last week I went back to visit home. You probably think I'm crazy. My parents think I some how got into college and left. They aren't shunning me because that isn't a shunning offense. So I lie to them about my life. BUT I finally told them about all the sexual abuse I suffered and it was reported to the legal department of JWs and the police. The JWs will do nothing but the police can. I wanted them to know what I went through and told them I wasn't attending any meetings or ministry. They some what understood. They blame it on trust issues but in all honesty they know I don't believe.
"The next step in my life is telling them I'm living with a man and we aren't married. They will shun me instantly. That's my greatest fear . It's been drilled in my head since before birth. For some reason I can't shake the fear of losing all my family even tho they wouldn't hesitate to cut me off. I'm building courage to do this and plan to do it before my summer birthday."
- 17
They Hid Her Passport When She Wanted To Leave
Redditor/u/MeYouArt:
"I was 18, I just wanted to start a new life and they seemed so inviting. I told my mom I was going to school in the states. She didn't ask many questions, my dad had just passed and I told her they offered me a scholarship. I left in January. I was greeted by many foreigners who had just graduated high school. I think in total there was 55 of us.
"They didn't have a place for us to live when we first got there. We ended up living in an abandoned hospital. I was scared, but everyone else around me acted like it was normal. The second day they took our passports to "scan them in case we lost them" that was the last time I saw my passport for 3 months. When I questioned them about it, they said the scanner needed repairs but it was high on their priorities. The second week was a struggle, one of the leaders called me out among the entire group and said I had been infected with evil and was demon sent. This lead to me being cast away from the group.
"I tried to find friends in the locals but instead found cocaine for my first time. Went on a good 2-week binge spending nearly $800. Eventually, they invited me back, they held me on the ground, and had an exorcism to remove the evil. I was so scared, I was so high, I played along. This went on for almost 10 months on and off being attacked. I got my passport and fled back to Canada (my home country) with one of the girls who was also enrolled. It's too long of a story to tell the entire 10 months. I ended up going back recently to the city to shoot a photo series that I'm currently developing in the darkroom to turn into a book. If anyone interested in more let me know, I'll continue in the morning."
- 18
He Still Wanted To Be Reinstated
Redditor/u/AnUnbelievingHusband:
"My parents were baptized as Jehovah's Witnesses when I was six. I fell for it because it was the only thing I was taught. I was kicked out for drinking and sex before marriage but still was indoctrinated. Still believed. After a year of good behavior they still hadn't reinstated me. So I could not talk to my parents, friends, or any other family that still was a part of the cult. It was at this time that I met my wife. She started the process of me waking up originally.
"Fast forward to us having our first child together. I want my parents back in my life. Yes, they shunned me, didn't come to my wedding, told me I was living in sin. But I loved them. I talked my wife into going with me until I was reinstated and then we would leave. Wouldn't you know, I was still indoctrinated and after being able to speak with my parents again I refused to leave the cult again.
"Finally, after six years of my wife faithfully standing by me, an elder call me up and asks what her 'disconnect' is. That one sentence woke me up. I had browsed Scientology and knew it was a cult. I was unable, up to that point in time, to apply my critical thinking to my own religion that I would to others. I never went back, I have next to zero contact with my parents who leave 10 minutes away. The elders have called several times trying to either get me to come back or to use my words to disfellowship me. I threatened them with attorneys and they have never bothered me again.
"My awesome wife put up with this bullsh*t for six years. Once, a friend of mine actually told her that she was stuck because I would never wake up from this mind control. Well, I did."
