Talk:Enrico Alfano

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Enrico Alfano/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: MPJ-DK (talk · contribs) 15:53, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

Full disclosure: I am a WIki Cup and GA Cup participant, I have my own GAN (CMLL World Tag Team Championship) and I also have a Feature Article (CMLL World Heavyweight Championship) and Feature List (Mexican National Light Heavyweight Championship) candidates in need of input. Not that it's a factor in my review but it would be appreciated.

I am about to start my review of this article, normally I provide my input in bits and pieces over a day or two so expect running updates for a while.  MPJ-US  15:53, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

GA Toolbox

I like to get this checked out first, I have found issues using this that has led to quick fails so it's important this passes muster.

Peer Review

• So is the article conforming to American or British spelling?  Done British, except for the direct quotes
• Please use the "non-breaking space" between measurements and their units. Ex "250 kilometres" should be "250& nbsp;kilometres" (note: remove the space)  Done

Copyright violations

• this link outlines an issue of some repeated phrase from a separate source, they are not significant enough to be outright violations. Please do check on the link and see if you can rephrase some of it.  Done I did rephrase some of it, what remains is minor and/or inevitable.

Disambiguation links

• Y - checks out.

External links

• Y - checks out.

Images

• No copyright issues due to their age, so that is fine.
• None of the pictures have alt text, please add those.  Not done Not a requirement for GA

Sources

• New York Times should be linked in the citation, at least the first time it's cited.  Done
• All web based sources should have an accessdate.  Not done Do you mean that all references to the newspapers for instance need to have an accessdate? I am afraid I don't remember when I did access them.
• Some dates are listed as "June 1, 1911" others use "1911-06-01", please pick a consistent format.  Done

General review

• "He was a man of commanding presence." - This is just a sentence fragment, can you elaborate?  Done
• " complicity with the thieves, but was" - no need for the comma  Done
• "injured by knife by ruffians" - repeating the "by" is just poor English, can you reword it  Done
• "encouraged by the Camorra and the police."... to do what?
• "raided the apartment in 108 Mulberry Street" should be "at 108"  Done
• "After a 17-month trial" - comma after trial.  Done
• "After his conviction Alfano", comma after convicion.  Done
• "In prison he took on the old family" - shouldn't that be "took up"?  Done
• Foreign language words such as "Cammora" should be in italics, the article is pretty consistent on other words but not this one.  Not done I am afraid I have to disagree, just as the word Mafia, Camorra has become common in English and does not need to be italicized.
• "known as the Saredo Inquiry since it was led by senator Giuseppe Saredo and which unearthed an extensive political patronage system in the city of Naples.[5]" - this detail seems to be superflous to Alfano.  Done Added a sentence to clarify.
• The very next sentence is a total odds with the fact that a 1901 report did not mention him, but he was apparently the head of the organization from 1892?  Done Added a sentence to clarify.
• Using the term "rise to power" and then equating it to being arrested seems odd.  Done Rephrased.
• Still not sure of the timing of what is mentioned in the "early life" section, any posibility of putting some years in there?  Done No exact chronology is available, but I did put some years.
• The investigation got new momentum when Gennaro Abbatemaggio, a young camorrista and a former Carabinieri informer serving a jail sentence in Naples gave", should be a comma after "Naples"  Done

• @DonCalo: - This is generally a really well written, well sourced article. Only a few things to point out. I will probably read through it again but for now I am putting it on hold for 7 days to allow for improvements to be made
  • Forgot to sign the above comment, it was made March 5, which means that I would need to see activity by March 12 to keep this review open.  MPJ-US  12:45, 8 March 2016 (UTC)

• @DonCalo: - So this has sat for for seven days with no signs of activity at all. At this point I am going to go ahead and fail the article, but feel free to address the issues and then submit it for GA again. MPJ-US  14:13, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

• @MPJ-DK: - Sorry, I was unable to answer your suggestions at the time. I did work on them later on. DonCalo (talk) 07:14, 5 June 2016 (UTC)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Enrico Alfano/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 16:03, 10 December 2016 (UTC)

I'll give reviewing this one a shot, since it's been sitting for six months waiting for a review. Wizardman 16:03, 10 December 2016 (UTC)

Here's what I found:

• Early on in the article, the article gets a bit heavy on the Camorra jargon. It's not overboard, but if there was a way to fine-tune that a bit more than it would be helpful.
• First sentence in the Camorra section feels a little overdone with the commas.
• Later on in the article the prose starts to veer away from encyclopedic in nature a little bit.

Anything else I just fixed myself. Reading it through in all, though, I wouldn't consider the issues to be deal breakers in terms of the article being a good article, so I'll pass the article as it is. That being said, hopefully the prose will be a bit fine-tuned just to make it flow a little better for lay readers. Wizardman 02:02, 11 December 2016 (UTC)