User:Moswento/GA
afPossible GAs:
- Barrie Edgar
- John Hefin
- Ken Stephinson
- Raymond Cusick
- Lucy Winkett
- Project Pigeon
- Andrew Walls
- John Bendor-Samuel
- Little Chalfont
- Missenden Abbey
Anthems
[edit]- Lead
- "skins competitions" - worth wikilinking Skins game#Curling?
- "the brunt of the points were" - I'm not sure what this means. Receiving the "brunt" of something means receiving the worst part of something bad.
- I think you need to explain in the lead for context the fact that the Cup is contested between Team World and Team North America, and what those teams are made up of.
- "roared back" - this suggests they were really far behind at the end of the first day, rather than just 1 point behind
- There's no need for the three citations in the lead
- "As with last year," - "As with the previous year". "Last year" will change each year!
- "to date would successfully defend its title from the previous Cup." - statements like this can go out of date easily. I would reword to state that no team had successfully defended its title in the cups held so far.
- Competition format
- The first paragraph assumes the reader knows what happened in previous years. Essentially, the order of sentences needs to be reversed, so that we find out how teams get points before we find out how many points they need to win.
- Teams
- This section is written as though the event hasn't happened yet. I'll review it once it's been rewritten
- I do think, however, that the table needs some explaining. How are the teams structured? How do they correspond to each event? How are players selected for each event?
- Day 1
- "a precise draw" - what's a "precise draw"? Can you have an "imprecise draw"?
- "was light on a game-winning draw." - not quite sure what this means?
- "Tom Brewster, respectively," - not sure you need the first comma here
- Day 2
- "turning the tables on" - not very encyclopedic language