The text in this article may be incoherent and difficult to understand (the author is believed to be a drinker) and should be reworded if intended meaning can be determined. See the talk page for details.
Born in a log cabin at the foot of the Smokey Mountains to an aristocratic but absent father and an illiterate mother, Untoisaac learned the art of potato cultivation early on. By age 17, Untoisaac had built the hugely successful bandage company Starch-eez from excess potato peels. Untoisaac found himself with both financial security and fame, yet was humble enough to attend multiple 'guest stays' at several rehabitation centers throughout Greater Phoenix.
After Starch-eez was bought out by the Catholic Church in 1988, Untoisaac turned his attentions toward fighting the YKK zipper monopoly. This struggle continues. More recently Untoisaac had been a guest on Conan (row F, seat 19) and has been known to occasionally shift from reverse to drive while the car was technically still in motion.
This user exists. This is not claiming that this user is not a bot, sockpuppet, blocked user, or inactive user, it is just stating that this user EXISTS. He/She/It/They would like to point out that the reader must exist as well.