Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Gusuku period/archive1

Gusuku period

Featured article candidates/Gusuku period/archive1

Nominator(s): Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 19:53, 17 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The Gusuku period corresponds to the early protohistorical period of Ryuykyuan history. It features the sudden migration of Japonic-speaking peoples into the archipelago, displacing the previous inhabitants of the Shellmidden period, saw the construction of a bunch of castles everywhere, the growth of an agricultural society, pirates, endemic warfare, and eventually the formation of the Ryukyu Kingdom. Previously, articles on this period on-wiki have conflated archaeological and historical sources with the traditional mythical narrative. I hope you all enjoy reading about this obscure period of history as much as I enjoyed writing it! Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 19:53, 17 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

750h

Will review. Ping me if I don't get to this within seven days. 750 h+ 08:30, 20 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Feel free to refuse my suggestions with proper justification.

lead

Directly following the Shellmidden "directly" is redundant.
- Done. - G
fortresses which this won't affect my vote since the other is still widely used, but it's generally preferable to add a coma before "which".
- Done. - G
which proliferated across the archipelago would change "proliferated" to "increased rapidly" or something similar. Best to use words more understandable to a broad audience rather than large ones
- Done. - G

background

capacity prior to the introduction ==> "capacity before the introduction" (conciseness)
- Done. - G
the Ryuykus prior to c. 800 CE ==> "the Ryuykus before c. 800 CE"
- Done. - G
agriculture in lieu of foraging ==> "agriculture instead foraging" (conciseness)
- Done. - G
endemic warfare prior to the ==> "endemic warfare before the" (conciseness)
- Done. - G
Due to their close proximity "close" is redundant. "proximity" does the work
- Done. - G

emergence

peoples settled the Ryukyus should this be "peoples settled in the Ryukyus"
"Settling the Ryukyus" is grammatical; see constructions like to settle the Americas or to settle the British Isles in academic lit. -G
followed by the Okinawa Islands, the Miyako Islands, and finally the Yaeyama Islands. "finally" is redundant
- I think finally is important here to note that these were done in order, rather than all three at once. - G
population of the Ryukyu Islands prior to the Gusuku "prior to" ==> "before"
- Fixed. - G
divergence prior to the Gusuku "prior to" ==> "before"
- Fixed. - G
or as evolution from a trade creole shouldn't it be "or as an evolution from a trade creole"
- Fixed. - G

developments

Archaeologial examinations of sites at "Archaeological" is spelt wrong
- Fixed. - G
period sociey is a topic "society" is spelt wrong
attributing the growth of a nobility and state i don't think article "a" is needed
- Makes it so it can't be read as (nobility and state polities) instead of (a nobility) (and state polities). - G
You use "organization" (american english) in one part of the article but you use "metres" or "centimetres" (british english) in another part. you're going to need use you one type of english.
- Fixed. - G
generally to the southwest so as to maximize sunlight remove "so as"
- Fixed. - G
and surrounded with palisades. ==> "and surrounded by palisades."
- Fixed. - G
with major bases on Kyushu and ==> "with major bases in Kyushu and"
- Kyushu is an island, shouldn't it be on here? - G
port of call in the Ryukyus, and became a major center of piracy remove the comma

emergence of the Ryukyu Kingdom

No problems here.

histography

mainly based off interviews ==> "mainly based on interviews"
- Fixed. - G
two early 18th century versions of needs a hyphen between "18th"
- Fixed. - G
dating to periods prior to the 16th and ==> "dating to periods before the 16th and"
- Fixed. - G
began the 17,000 year rule hyphen needed between "17,000" and "rule"
- Fixed. - G
Okinawa in name only, and that remove comma
- Fixed. - G
written documentation prior to the 17th century ==> "written documentation before the 17th century"
- Fixed. - G

Great work @Generalissima:, thanks for the article. 750 h+ 07:04, 22 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@750h+: Thank you very much! Responded and fixed stuff. Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 16:32, 22 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Support. 750 h+ 23:52, 22 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Arconning - source review

Marking my name down here. Ping as well within seven days^. Arconning (talk) 13:55, 20 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Arconning: Pinging! Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 16:49, 29 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reliable enough for the information being cited
Consistent date formatting
Consistent and proper reference formatting
Appropriate wikilinks where applicable
Spot checks sources match what they are being cited for
No further comments, everything looks nice
- Support on source check, great work on the article! Arconning (talk) 09:11, 30 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Support from Crisco

Any reason for not including the image in the infobox, instead of below it?
Following the Shellmidden period, the Gusuku is generally described as beginning in the 11th century, following a dramatic social and economic shift over the previous centuries. - Following ... following
- Fixed. - G
leading to endemic warfare and the construction of the namesake gusuku fortresses ... eventually leading to the construction of the namesake gusuku. - There is some very similar construction here in the lede, so some rework would probably not be amiss.
- Fixed. - G
mid-Shellmidden ... Late Shellmidden - Not consistent in capitalization. Other examples: Middle Yayoi period
- Fixed. - G
contemporary sources - Contemporary to whom? Perhaps clearer if there were a "since 19XX, sources have" phrasing.
- Fixed. - G
Rice and millet agriculture spread to Sakishima by the 12th century. - This is the first mention of rice and millet, but you don't link them until the next paragraph (WP:LINKFIRST)
- Fixed. - G
Do we have a lang template for the loanwords in this article? (I ask for compatibility with screenreaders)
- Added these. - G
slave trading - Is there a better link, focusing more on East Asia?
- I was unable to find one.
Sho En - You spell the others "Shō"; why is Sho En losing the diacritic?
- Fixed. - G
primary sources limited to foreign diplomatic and tribute records - tribute records were mentioned earlier; would be better to link there
- Fixed. - G
Japan to development in the Ryukyus was challenged in the 1980s and 1990s as Okinawa's domestic development was emphasized, with historians such as Takara Kurayoshi and Murai Shōsuke emphasizing - Two uses of development and two uses of emphasiz(e/ing), with another emphasized in the next sentence. Might be good to rework.
- Fixed. - G
the Gusuku Site is a specific archaeology site on Kikaijima. - You use a lower-case "s" in other uses
- Fixed. - G
Overall, feels like the article is slightly overillustrated. I do like the images... maybe a use of {{multiple image}} would work to combine some? — Chris Woodrich (talk) 23:48, 22 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
- Just going to cite a few examples, to give ideas: Chicago (band) and Xifeng concentration camp. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 15:29, 23 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Generalissima, just pinging in case you missed my comments. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 15:58, 28 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Crisco 1492: Okay! I think I got to everything. Tried to add a few multiple image templates and moved some around. Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 00:37, 1 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Great. I made one small fix, but otherwise looks good. Happy to support. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 00:39, 1 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Image review - pass

Hi Generalissima, happy to do the image review. The article contains the following images:

Most are own works, with one from flickr and two with an expired copyright. They are all either in the public domain or published under some version of CC BY-SA. All images are relevant to the article and placed in appropriate locations.

All images have captions. The caption "Shells of Turbo snails were prominent trade goods during the period" is a full sentence and needs a period. I suggest adding alt texts to "Katsurenjô (16).jpg" and "Book from the Ryukyu Kingdom (ca. 1600).jpg". All the other images have alt texts.

I agree with Crisco that, to make it visually better organized, the lead image should be included the info box, unless there is a good reason otherwise. The article has many images, but I'm not sure that this is a problem. Phlsph7 (talk) 14:08, 23 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Phlsph7: Implemented all the requested changes; thank you! Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 22:18, 25 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the changes; that takes care of the concerns. Phlsph7 (talk) 17:00, 26 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Support by Lee Vilenski

I'll begin a review of this article very soon! My reviews tend to focus on prose and MOS issues, especially on the lede, but I will also comment on anything that could be improved. I'll post up some comments below over the next couple days, which you should either respond to, or ask me questions on issues you are unsure of. I'll be claiming points towards the wikicup once this review is over.

Lede

"era of the history" - I could be very off, but surely it's "era in the history".Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 07:50, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
- Checking Google Scholar, both are attested but "era in the history" is a lot more common; corrected. - G
Can we split the opening sentence? In my eyes the first sentence should be succinct in explaining what the article is about. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 07:50, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
- Fixed. - G
Otherwise, the lede is quite tight. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 07:50, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
c. 1050 CE–15th century - considering circa just means roughly, can we not give a rough end date too? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 07:51, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
- Sure, 1429 works for that. - G

Prose

Reconstruction of an elevated storehouse, Ocean Expo Park, Okinawa - image caption. Might seem petty, but I'd have something after storehouse. Don't want someone to think storehouse is a place, or Ocean Expo is a hut. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 07:55, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
- Added an "at". - G
I'm sure you use it elsewhere, but could we spell out "ha" in full.Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 07:56, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
- Done. - G

Additional comments

I've left some bare comments above, but I'm not finding enough to slow a support from me. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 07:59, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Additionally, if you liked this review, or are looking for items to review, I have some at my nominations list. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 07:46, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much! Made this fixes. Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 20:42, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]