“Clyde, she said it’s fine. What? Really?” Mom huffed. “Your dad wants to know if ‘fine’ is
code for ‘please come home, I’m being held hostage by hormonal maniacs.’” Pause. “And if said
hormonal maniacs are listening he wants them to know he will cut off vital body parts and watch them
bleed out a slow and torturous death then bury said body parts on different continents throughout the
world so he will never be brought to justice and will revel in their excruciating demise for the rest of
his life because they had the nerve to cause his daughter any discomfort whatsoever.”
I grinned. “Mom, Dad didn’t say that.”
“I may have ad-libbed that last part. But he did ask about the hormonal maniacs.”