Crap Quotes

“Crap.
It's all crap.
Living is crap.
Life has no meaning.
None. Nowhere to be found.
Crap.
Why doesn't anybody realize this?”
― K-Ske Hasegawa, Ballad of a Shinigami, Vol. 1

“I responded to this development with the kind of sophisticated language for which I am famous. "Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid crap.”
― John Green, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“They tell you: Follow your dreams. Listen to your spirit. Change the world. Make your mark. Find your inner voice and make it sing. Embrace failure. Dream. Dream and dream big. As a matter of fact, dream and don’t stop dreaming until your dream comes true.
I think that’s crap.
I think a lot of people dream. And while they are busy dreaming, the really happy people, the really successful people, the really interesting, powerful, engaged people? Are busy doing.”
― Shonda Rhimes, Year of Yes

“The sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart. And being thoughtful. And being generous. Everything else is crap! I promise you! It's just crap that people try to sell to you to make you feel like less. So don't buy it. Be smart, be thoughtful, and be generous.”
― Ashton Kutcher

“Don’t crap where you eat”
― Barry Lyga, I Hunt Killers

“I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed... Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.”
― Tara Gilesbie, My Immortal

“Dude, you're scaring the crap out of me,' said Nick. 'I'm serious, I literally have no crap right now.”
― Mark Frost, The Paladin Prophecy

“I wanted us to have an adventure. Because I love that crap. Because I'm not whatever-her-name-is. I don't think it's oh so hard to walk four miles in the snow. I want that. I love that.”
― John Green, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“Dear, the man can't be eviscerated because he has no viscera. He's a walking colon. If you cut him open, you only end up covered in crap.”
― Dean Koontz, Relentless

“They sell crap to buy you.”
― Toba Beta, Master of Stupidity

“If someone asks you why you're oppressing a world and you reply with a lot of poetic crap, no. I guess there can't be a meeting of minds.”
― Roger Zelazny

“Thinking how every day is like tossing an egg. At any moment we may
find our selves saying OH CRAP!”
― Chuck Bridges

“Books like Twilight are not art. They are mass-produced crap that is meant to be consumed by the widest possible audience, for the largest possible profit.”
― Oliver Gaspirtz

“Seropusly, why do flies line up in the sky every time someone lies? Hovering over they long to take the shit out from where It belongs so They compete to eat it alive.”
― Ana Claudia Antunes, ACross Tic

“Mapmaking: We get chances to make things different. But to take them we have to be willing to release old crap, not look back to see if it still needs us or to admit we still need it.”
― Helen S. Rosenau, The Messy Joys of Being Human: A Guide to Risking Change and Becoming Happier

“Get me your manager.” Dove held her head high and tried to seem older and more self-assured.

The teenager barely registered her request.

“Do it now. My friend here is about to crap his pants. Do you want to smell it?” Dove slapped her hands down on the counter, snapping the life into the girl. “Do you want to smell his shit?”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire in the Hole

“I mean that after the little accident with your mom, you'd think you'd never come out here again."
My heart stops. I'm not exaggerating. I swear, for a pure second, my chest seized and all the blood flowing in my veins pauses. I can't believe he would say something like that. From the look on everyone's faces, they can't believe it either.
Aidan's the first to react as he growls, "Shut up! You jerk...how can you say something like that?"
Dunstan ignores Aidan's outburst as he keeps his eyes trained on me. His face is indifferent, but I know he's smirking on the inside. Why's he doing this? What does he want me to do? React? I would, if I could get any movement back in my freakin' legs. However, they seem to be paralyzed at the moment. I settle for glaring at him.
"Don't tell me you haven't gotten over it. It's been, what? Ten years since?"
"He said shut up!" Nadia snarls. She bares her teeth in primal fury and seems almost ready to pounce on him.
But if he catches on, Dunstan doesn't show it. "I just think it's amazing you'd still come out here. I know I wouldn't."
"Mr. Lebelle, it is in my power to turn this boat around and end this tour early. So I suggest that you stop this conversation at once," Babette threatens him. She doesn't shout, but her iron tone is just as—if not more—frightening as any yelling could be.”
― Colleen Boyd, Swamp Angel

“It’s your crap that’s endearing. It’s the basis of any relationship, way beyond even the choice of who wins on to whom. It’s crap that sustains things. The mutual vulnerability that comes from knowing each other’s crap. How shallow would we be if you only felt things for people on account of their successes? How likely would that be to survive?”
― Nick Earls, Zigzag Street

“Expecting someone to love us exactly the way we are, is utter crap. We must adjust to suit our lover. Love me, love my dog is trash and sensible people do not love trash.”
― Vincent Okay Nwachukwu, Weighty 'n' Worthy African Proverbs - Volume 1

“People say that I am short-tempered but they don't understand that I give a quick reaction to CRAP!”
― Nitya Prakash

“Duke was already sitting in the passenger seat, waiting for her. She got in and started the car. Duke busted into a Slim Jim of his own.

“You hairy toad fucker. That stuff’s nasty. Your toilet must be like a nuclear reactor.” Dove turned on her windshield wipers as a light mist seemed to fracture the glass.

“I’m sorry, Whore Basket. I couldn’t hear you over the noise of you crapping your pants!” Duke took another huge bite and chewed the waxy meat like gum.
“This stuff is off the charts. I could eat vats of it.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire in the Hole

“You're one to talk about talking crap, Forester." Dunstan's voice interrupts the memory, and I can't help but feel a little grateful. "Accusing my dad of poisoning the swamp? What a bunch of bull."
"It's not bull,"I snarl. "Your dad's dumping trash into the swamp and you know it!"
Dunstan finally loses it and stands up. The boat tilts dangerously. Melanie and the twins shriek, grasping the sides like they're glued to them.
"You two sit down this minute!" Babette bellows. She's holding onto the motor for dear life. Neither of us listens.
"You wanna run that by me again?" Dunstan growls. His fingers curl into fists.
"Your. Dad. Is. Poisoning. The. Swamp." I let each word out slowly like Dunstan's a dumb little kid who needs help understanding.”
― Colleen Boyd, Swamp Angel

“God doesn't build shit. Yeah, He creates stuff - the World, the mountain ranges, all that - but any fuck with one eye left in his head will tell you that He doesn't spend much time fixing up all His crap. No, He made it, splinters and snakes and all, but then He just took off, leaving the whole goddamn thing to whatever carrion birds feast on dilapidation.”
― Josh Ritter, The Great Glorious Goddamn of It All

“Oh, the joys of an open-air crap in the countryside.”
― Gordon Roddick

“I will be crapped on from heaven.”
― Peter F. Hamilton, Great North Road