Seven signs your preschooler loves you
1. She acts up
You turn away to chat with a friend on the playground and your preschooler starts grabbing toys and throwing sand. If she doesn't have your positive attention, she'll take negative attention over nothing at all. "I call this the law of the soggy potato chip," says pediatrician Harvey KarpOpens a new window. "In your child's eyes, a soggy potato chip is better than no potato chip." Frustrating as it can be, this behaviour is another sign of how important you are to your child.
2. You're her role model
As in toddlerhood, your child likes to copy exactly what you do – but this modeling has become more advanced. You'll see her "making an important call" while hammering away at her "computer" or even cursing while driving his ride-on car (oops). "To your child, you are a rock star," says Karp.
3. She makes verbal declarations of love
Finally! At three or four, many children begin to express their love with actual words. You may hear "I love you" or "Your skin is so soft" or even "I want to marry you and be together forever." They all mean the same thing.
4. She comforts you
Your preschooler may surprise you with her empathy. Perhaps she offers you his special blanket when she sees you in tears or gives you a kiss when you hurt yourself. She's aping how you treat him when she gets hurt or upset. This is partly a survival technique, says psychologist Linda AcredoloOpens a new window. You are your child's world, and she doesn't like that world disrupted, so she's trying to set things right. But it's also pretty darn loving.
5. She tries to hurt you with words
Love shouldn't hurt, but when it comes to our kids, sometimes it does. If you disappoint your preschooler or hurt her feelings, she may lash out with an insult like "You're a poophead" or even the dreaded "I hate you!" It's not fun to hear, but – yes, really – it's more evidence of how much your child cares for you. Karp explains: "An insult is a more concise way of saying, You matter so much to me that you can make me more upset than anyone else, so I want to hurt you back."
6. She gives you gifts
You may receive a flower plucked from the front yard, a sparkly rock, a crayoned self-portrait, or a "chocolate marshmallow sundae" created out of bathwater and bubbles. Your preschooler's funny and touching gifts are a way for him to show you that you're special.
7. She celebrates your return
After time apart, your preschooler is likely to give you the VIP treatment, hugging you and showing off her accomplishments. Bonus: This will happen even if she was screaming when you left!
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