Yes, You Can Sue Someone for Breaking Up a Marriage—Here's What You Need to Know

No one wins in an adulterous relationship—that's a fact. But, there is legal recourse in some situations, which can potentially provide the abandoned spouse with compensation for their distress. More specifically, a few states offer individuals the ability to file for alienation of affection, charging the person outside their union with intentionally interfering in their marital relationship.

To simply break it down, alienation of affection is a civil tort claim brought by a spouse who's been alienated, usually filed against third-party lovers. In order to open an alienation of affection lawsuit, however, you'll need to prove that the marriage was happy and that love existed between both spouses; the third party destroyed that love; and the third party intended to destroy the marriage and the love between both spouses. (The adultery itself is not a crime here; rather, it is the actions of the other man or woman that determine whether a law has been broken.)

With all this in mind, before scheduling an appointment with your attorney, there are a few things you should be aware of about this particular lawsuit. Ahead, here's everything to know about taking legal action should someone intrude into your marriage by having an affair with your spouse.

States That Recognize Alienation of Affection

While you might be interested in suing a third party for breaking up your marriage, you won't be able to file any claims if you don't live in the following states:

• Hawaii
• Mississippi
• New Mexico
• North Carolina
• South Dakota
• Utah

As for the rest of the United States? Laws related to adultery have been struck down to give people more freedom as the times change—especially due to the increase in open and polyamorous relationships. Many states also avoid vindictive types of lawsuits, as they can be difficult to prosecute and cost taxpayers a considerable amount of money. 

Should You Sue Someone for Breaking Up Your Marriage?

Unless money is no object or you stand to recover a substantial amount in damages, suing for alienation of affection is not worth the time and effort. Dealing with infidelity is never easy, and adding on a lawsuit will only make things harder. After all, you're already dealing with a spouse who has cheated, the emotional fallout of that fact, and possibly the legal and emotional process of a divorce. So don't overwhelm yourself to simply get back at your spouse. 

Likewise, while the desire to strike back at a third party who interfered in your marriage is understandable, a long legal proceeding, and even potential financial gain, will not take away the pain you feel over this situation. Besides, a man or woman who will go after someone else's spouse is not going to be held back by a civil legal proceeding. Morals can't be litigated, and slapping them on the wrist, legally, won't undo the damages done to you (and it won't necessarily stop them from doing it to others). Ultimately, you will be better served if you focus your time and energy on healing from the emotional pain caused by the cheater's behavior, and moving on should there be a divorce.