Further

Because our current regime remains laser-focused on the vital issues of these dark and baleful times, the House just had a hearing on a bill by inimitable Klan Mom MTG to retool the Gulf of Mexico into a glorious new Gulf of America. Irked Democrats took to trolling with some creative alternative names, but MapQuest and the Internet are way ahead of them. Like, Gulf of Covfefe, Gulf of Putin's Bitch, Gulf of Wu-Tang, Gulf of End Times ahead of them.

On Day One of his new presidency and revenge tour, the orange guy revealed his Very Serious Priorities by signing a Very Serious executive order to rename the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America, because. Despite MAGA's lackadaisical approach to properly using other names - COVID, Native, undocumented, preferred pronouns - they were so pissed when the AP wire service, read by over 4 billion people in 100 countries, declined to update its widely used Stylebook with the new name that the regime banned its journalists from White House briefings. This week, a Trump-appointed judge effectively overturned the ban, ruling officials must restore press access "untainted by an impermissible viewpoint-based exclusion" to the AP - see First Amendment - noting, "If there is a benign explanation for the government's (ban), it has not been presented here." But the injunction is preliminary, and Trump is so obsessed he's already said he'll appeal the decision.

Fresh off gaudily posing before Venezuelans shipped to a brutal El Salvador prison - which is a war crime - part-time DHS Secretary and "embarrassment to hair extensions" Kosplay Kristi Noem just posed with ICE thugs in Arizona prepping to "get (some) dirtbags off the street." Rocking yet another Nazi outfit - "Every day is Halloween for this lady" - she alas also held a rifle aimed straight at one of the ICE heads. Also, shouldn't she be in D.C. trying not to deport the wrong people? Asking for many friends.

Elect a reality TV hack, get a reality TV government, with plenty of dress-up to distract the poorly educated. Cue Kristi Noem, former South Dakota Snow Queen, college dropout, wife, mother, rancher, Nazi, cosmetically enhanced aspiring Instagram model, bimbette attention-seeker and America's reigning Queen of Cosplay. As governor, Noem earned the name Barnyard Barbie from alarmed constituents for her COVID denialism, and all nine of the state's indigenous tribes banned her from their lands after suggesting tribal leaders were colluding with and profiting from Mexican drug cartels. Now she's evidently found her odious peeps with the current Best-In-Show regime, where she's stayed busy playing make-believe, always elaborately coiffed and made-up, from riding a horse (Border Barbie) to wrangling hoses (Firefighting Barbie): "Different action outfit for every day of the week.”

Flaunting "the peculiar Trumpian stupidity," the mad king's giddy "liberation" of the global economy - by witlessly slapping tariffs on every country except Russia based on a simplistic, "insane" formula that instantly crashed U.S. and foreign markets - has been universally slammed. And that was before we learned several tariff targets are in fact remote outcroppings of ice and rock populated by no humans but many freeloading penguins and seals, who thank God won't be "looting and pillaging" us any more.

In his announcement we've finally been liberated from being able to buy things from other countries, the fragile, unloved man-child with a terror of being mocked or fleeced based his "batshit crazy" action on a sociopathic "you hurt us, we hurt you" world view, wielding random tariffs as a weapon to "fight back" against countries that have “taken advantage of us." "For decades, our country has been looted, pillaged, raped and plundered by nations near and far," he said of the richest nation in the world. Holding a big chart of his shiny new tariff plan, he repeatedly trotted out a new word he just added to the 17 he already knows. "Reciprocal," he proclaimed, “That means they do it to us, and we do it to them. Very simple. Can’t get simpler than that." Or, it turns out, dumber. Evidently orchestrated by some "willing sycophants," the moronic method he used to calculate trade and economic figures for every country in the world - except Russia - has been compared to "a science project by a stoned high schooler."

Everything is still awful, but it was heartening to see Tesla Takedown's many protests and fiery message: "Would've fought the Nazis? Now's your chance." And as the world's richest, dimmest Nazi whines about people being mean to him, their persistence brings solace: Judges, park rangers, fired workers fight back, Swasticar posters pop up - "Goes from 0 to 1939 in 3 seconds" - and wild hacks, from DOGE lists to (eww) videos of the two foot-fetish besties at it on HUD screens. What a time to be alive.

On Saturday, Tesla Takedown's Day of Action saw over 500 rallies, at nearly every Tesla showroom in the US - San Jose to Austin to New York - and in over 200 cities worldwide, rippling from Australia and New Zealand across Europe. Each was locally organized and thematically designed, "Smash the Fash" to “Down with Doge,” with great signs: Don't Buy Nazi Cars, Burn A Tesla Save Democracy, Tesla Funds Fascists, Musk the Only Immigrant Taking Away American Jobs, DOGE: Department of Greedy Elon and Honk If You Hate Elon, with its accompanying cacophony. Also their sieg-heiling balloon effigy and to the point chants: "We don't want your Nazi cars/Take a one-way trip to Mars." Add multiple incidents of Tesla burnings, eggings, poopings and beadings - revelers throwing Mardi Gras beads at an unwelcome Cybertruck in their parade - and it becomes clear the rage at Musk for his many, many (unelected) transgressions is growing. Its goal: "To boycott Tesla and hurt him so that he stops hurting us."