Seeing the Light
By Reza Feyz
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Seeing the Light - Reza Feyz
Centre
The Early Years
My name is Reza. I was born in a Muslim country in the middle of a war. The city I lived in was large, noisy, and polluted with residue from the oil industry. Because of the war and the fact that my father was a school teacher and didn’t make a lot of money, we had to move a number of times, eventually having the luxury of taking up residence on the second floor of my grandparent’s house. While we lived at my grandparent’s home my parents were able to save a little money, along with the money my mother received selling all her jewelry, and our precious stereo record player. They were able to buy a small home of their own.
During the summers the local population would experience swarms of locusts and sandstorms. We had one air conditioner in the living room which was a blessing because our city would experience stifling 50° C temperatures that would melt the pavement under our shoes. Together, these things made for a good excuse to head to the corner store to buy ice-cream sandwiches. Our local corner store also carried a sizeable selection of candy.
One of the earliest memories I have is walking to the local corner store to buy candy. I was four years old. The sun had just set and it was getting dark when my dad gave me a small coin. Outside we could hear the Imam calling for evening prayers over the loudspeakers from the mosque. My father got up to pray. I thought to myself this was a great opportunity to sneak off to the corner store, buy the candy and come home before he finished praying. I would show my father and mother how grown-up I was.
The store was located about a block away from our home. It had rained hard that day and when it rained in my city the roads became very messy. The streets in my city were gravel but had been dug up so many times for various new underground pipes being laid that the street surface and sidewalks were uneven. So, when it rained, pools of water gathered in these areas, turning the streets into muddy thoroughfares.
It was 8:00 pm and dark when I left home. I clutched the coin in my hand and walked to the store eagerly anticipating the reward at the end of my journey–to savor the taste of candy melting in my mouth. Suddenly, the coin fell from my hand and I could hear the tiny splash as it landed in the muddy street. I found myself alone with no one to help me look for it. I felt terrible losing the coin. I wanted my father to be proud of me when I returned from the store and I could walk into the house and hold up the candy and announce that I had walked to the store all by myself to buy candy. I began searching for the coin. At first I swung my foot around in the mud. I felt nothing. I got down on my hands and knees and began exploring the muddy street with my hands. Again, I came up empty handed. I stood up to move to a new spot. My foot slipped in the mud and I fell into the water. I felt cold, wet, dirty and hopeless and for the first time in my life I was deeply impressed with the fact that I was born blind. It suddenly overwhelmed me that I was impaired in my attempts to fulfill my desires. For the first time in my young life, I asked myself, Why am I locked into this life-limiting circumstance?
I felt useless, weak and vulnerable. I can remember the fear I felt showing up at home dripping wet and muddy. I sat in the street for what I felt was a long time, afraid of going home. For one thing, my parents would be upset that I had sneaked out of the house without their permission. They were very protective of me and would never have allowed me to go out