The Integrated Entrepreneur: Achieving Happiness in Relationships, Business & Life

Praise for The Integrated Entrepreneur

"The Integrated Entrepreneur will make you stop and think about all the ways you can integrate your personal and professional lives. Great ideas you can use today."

- Thomas D. Lennox, President DIB Brands, LLC; Pelotonia, Chief Executive Officer Emeritus and Brand Founder

"Randy has helped hundreds of entrepreneurs improve their lives, find success, and achieve true inner happiness. Every entrepreneur should add The Integrated Entrepreneur to their reading list."

- Sonny Balani, CEO, Balani Custom Clothiers

"Being a first generation entrepreneur (FGE) is the hardest challenge I have faced. As a former college football player and world champion powerlifter, I am no stranger to figuring out how to be the best at what I do. Randy has been essential in my success and The Integrated Entrepreneur is the definitive playbook for FGE’s struggling to find happiness in their business and personal lives."

- JL Holdsworth, Founder of Reflexive Performance Reset & The Spot Athletics

"Like most entrepreneurs, I’ve often thought I was the smartest person in the room … then I met Randy Gerber (also not the smartest in the room). However, The Integrated Entrepreneur will challenge you to not only rethink, but truly question how you currently approach both work and life. Randy’s philosophy of fully integrating the two is a realistic way to achieve overall happiness and business success … empowering you to be one of the smarter, and happier people in the room."

- Troy Allen, Chief Entertainment Officer, Rise Brands

"The Integrated Entrepreneur is a timely solution to the struggles every entrepreneur faces with the relationships in their lives. I have never met a financial advisor with the level of insight and intuitiveness that Randy has when it comes to building and running a business. It’s really the perfect combination of financial and business advice and counsel.

- David P. Meyer, Esq. Managing Principal,

Meyer Wilson Co. LPA

The Integrated Entrepreneur

Achieving Happiness in

Relationships, Business & Life

Randall T. Gerber

The Integrated Entrepreneur © 2021 by Randall T. Gerber. All rights reserved.

Printed in the United States of America

Published by Author Academy Elite

PO Box 43, Powell, OH 43035

www.AuthorAcademyElite.com

All rights reserved. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photography, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without express written permission from the author.

Identifiers:

LCCN: 2020907639

ISBN: 978-1-64746-248-2 (paperback)

ISBN: 978-1-64746-249-9 (hardback)

ISBN: 978-1-64746-250-5 (ebook)

Available in paperback, hardback, and e-book

Any Internet address (website, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers printed in this book are offered as a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by Author Academy Elite, nor does Author Academy Elite vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book.

Dedication for The Integrated Entrepreneur

This book is for all first-generation entrepreneurs in the world who think no one gets it.

Much of this book was written from my personal experiences, so I’d like to thank my wife Emily; children, Zoe, Nikko and George; and my closest friends for their ongoing love and support.

A special thank you to our clients who have opened their lives to us, and allowed us to see the real challenges of first-generation entrepreneurs. Without these insights, this book would not have been possible.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Part One: The First-Generation Entrepreneur—A Rare Bird, Indeed

Chapter 1: How Entrepreneurs are Different

Chapter 2: Why Integrate?

Chapter 3: Planned Experience Sharing

Part Two: Integrating Through the Stages of Business Success

Chapter 4: Defining Success

Chapter 5: Stage One—The Intoxicating Stage

Chapter 6: Stage Two—The Trapped Stage

Chapter 7: Stage Three—The Light at the End of the Tunnel Stage

Chapter 8: Stage Four—The Acceleration Stage

Chapter 9: Stage Five—The Sustainable Stage

Chapter 10: Strategies to Avoid the Impact of Failure

Part Three: Relationship and Business Integration for First-Generation Entrepreneurs

Chapter 11: Marriage

Chapter 12: Children

Chapter 13: Parents

Chapter 14: Friends

Conclusion

Key Takeaways

Discussion Questions

Endnotes

About the Author

Acknowledgments

Those of you who have known me for a long time know this book has been years in the making—many, many years in the making! I’d like to begin by thanking the people who helped get my ideas and words to paper. This includes Sarah Hackley, Kim Younkin, Kirstin Hamilton and Laurie Zinn. Without your hard work, it would still be an unfinished file on my computer, or who knows where!

The premise of this book is largely inspired by my own experience as a first-generation entrepreneur. Former generations—such as that of my parents— traditionally got jobs, worked hard, and did their best to solve problems using brute force. My generation and the generations after mine knew there was a better way. We solve our problems differently. We know we can make choices, and do our best to live a life where we can have our cake and eat it too. Watching other entrepreneurs take ownership of their lives and successfully use integration and planned experience sharing has been a great inspiration to me.

Drafts of this book have crossed many desks over the years. I’m grateful to each Gerber team member, past and present, for your ideas, suggestions and contributions. Each of you put a stamp on it in one way, shape or form, and it wouldn’t be what it is today without your input.

I’d like to thank our clients for being vulnerable and allowing us an inside look at your lives, your challenges and your victories. This book would be impossible without you!

Thank you to my tribe at EO—specifically my FWF and my Visionaries forum—for lending your perspectives and insights, and letting me bounce ideas off of you. You’ve had a huge impact on this book in many respects.

Most importantly, I’d like to thank my wife, Emily and our children Zoe, Nikko and George. I am the luckiest person in the world to have you as my family. Your unconditional love and support mean the world to me. I know I have had my ups and downs as a spouse and a parent in our relationships; just know that every day I am trying to be the best spouse and parent I can be.

Quality time with family is the true reason and motivation behind this book. It starts with my mom and step dad, who from the time I was a pain in the ass kid were an engaged, supportive and positive presence in my life. I learned the value of family from their example. As a result of my parents’ separation and subsequent divorce, I knew I wanted to be active, engaged, loving and loved husband while simultaneously being active and present in my own kids’ lives. From the beginning of my marriage with Emily through raising our children, I’ve worked tirelessly to grow these relationships and make memorable experiences while running a business. I know I haven’t been perfect, but my intention and effort was there, and will continue to be there for the rest of my life.

Inspired by all of the people mentioned above, I hope the insights and experiences that are spilled onto the following pages can help other first-generation entrepreneurs have the best of all worlds: to not just be successful in business, but to be successful at integrating your relationships, business and life.

Introduction

As I was growing up, my grandfather always gave me advice on how to live a rich, full and happy life. I vividly remember how he described the path to get there: He told me I should go to school, get good grades, get a good job with benefits, find someone to share my life with, buy a house, start a family, and work hard until retirement. While I wanted many of those things my grandfather described and I wanted to live a life as rich and full as his, I knew my path to get there was different. I knew I needed to do it on my own terms and with my own rules. And I’ve since learned that I’m not alone.

For about two percent of us, following someone else’s rules is not an option. We want to live life on our own terms and schedules. We want to create, not produce; and we want the years we have to be defined by the growth and flourishing of our ideas. This small but powerful subset of the population is you and I—the nation’s entrepreneurs.

Within this unique group, there exists an even smaller segment that has fought—often against their own logical beliefs, and the advice of friends and family—to fulfill their dream. They, like me, are first-generation entrepreneurs (FGE). They’re the people who had an idea that grew into a dream and eventually into a business—successful or not. Owning and operating what they personally created, first-generation entrepreneurs may be perceived as odd and are often misunderstood for one very big reason: they make their own rules.

I started my professional service firm in Columbus, Ohio right after I graduated from The Ohio State University in 1990. While most everyone else in my life settled into a nine-to-five schedule working a good job with steady pay and stable benefits, I struck out on my own, trying to find clients in a city where I knew practically no one outside of my fraternity brothers. During my first year of business, I made $12,000 and took four weeks of vacation to fish, attend weddings, and visit wine country. I buried myself in debt. Some people thought it was a pretty dumb idea to take time away from work to experience life while spending the little money I made and incurring debt. Little did I know I was on to something transformational. The second year was similar, but I made $28,000 and for the first time in my life, I spent weeks skiing out West. By my third year of business, I made $70,000, developed a critical relationship that led to a client acquisition and realized that this little business of mine didn’t have to be so little.

Now, more than twenty years later, the decision I made at age 22 to give going it alone a shot—a decision my mother didn’t understand and many others didn’t approve of—has paid off. The firm I founded in 1991 with a college degree and a whole lot of hope has survived and thrived during two recessions, a more than 20-year marriage to my wife, Emily, and the birth of our three children. The firm has expanded from me working relentlessly and alone for only five figures per year to a team of 16 that generates millions in revenue annually.

My story is unique to almost everyone—everyone, that is, except the first-generation entrepreneur. At one point, we all made the decision to just accept that everyone we know and love thinks we’re a little bit crazy for believing in our dream and actually going for it. During the tough times, they told us to go get a real job. During the good times, they told us to count our blessings. And now, in whatever stage you’re in with your business—good or bad, just launching, or nearing retirement—they probably still consider any news from your business with a bit of skepticism.

So why do they question your choice to be an entrepreneur? Trust me, it’s not that they don’t love you or doubt your abilities. It’s never that. The truth is simple. They just don’t understand. And why should they? You’re an entrepreneur, which means you’re acquiring your own clients or customers, keeping crazy hours, taking economic risks and placing higher-than-normal expectations on yourself. Entrepreneurs don’t conform to the rules of the rest of the business world because those rules just don’t fit. Therefore, you buck societal trends, social norms and the backward glances of your family and friends to create your own set of rules—rules that are right for you.

These rules mean that you manage your time differently (or try to anyway); your successes and failures at the office aren’t just career defining, they’re life defining; your life outside of work is impacted by every ebb and flow of your business; your business relationships often dictate your personal relationships and vice versa; and more often than you would like, the financial state of your business determines what’s left for your personal life.

All of this, coupled with the stress and responsibility of founding, managing and running a business often leaves the FGE feeling tired, overloaded and stretched too thin. In fact, that’s probably why you’ve picked up this book: you’re looking for someone who understands your situation and can help you to not just simply get through it, but also learn how to lessen or eliminate the relentless, nagging pull from your many responsibilities.

I wrote this book because I was in a very tough place in the late 1990s (like you might have been at some point or are now). My business was doing well and needed more and more of my time and attention, I had recently gotten married and purchased a house, and Emily and I were trying to manage our social lives along with our desire to start a family and still focus on our careers. The weight of it all began to place a strain on my business, my marriage and my friendships. Sound familiar?

In an attempt to figure out what could be sacrificed, I realized none of it could. The business was and is our financial security and my creative lifeline. Emily is the love of my life, and building a life and starting a family with her was all I’d ever wanted. Our friendships with others kept us young, fun and interesting (and they still do). I realized that if I could just find a way to integrate my life … if all the things I loved could support—not compete—with one another, then I could live one cohesive life instead of having a work life in opposition to my social and personal lives.

That small thought has changed how I do everything and it’s what this book aims to help you do with your life. My goal is to help you understand that first-generation entrepreneurs are different in many ways from the rest of the population, and for this reason, they must live deliberately. I’ve identified five key stages first-generation entrepreneurs go through, the challenges they face in each stage and how they can overcome those challenges. I’ll take you through all the stages of my own business since 1991 and show you how I’ve tried to live differently. I’ll