Find Your Happy at Work: 50 Ways to Get Unstuck, Move Past Boredom, and Discover Fulfillment

INTRODUCTION

Some people always seem excited about their work. Sure, they go through crises like everyone else, but they bounce right back, energetically tackling their next challenges.

Sadly, these folks are a minority. Long-term studies show that roughly two-thirds of American workers often feel unhappy in their work lives. Despite occasional moments of job satisfaction, they frequently are bogged down in boredom, loneliness, fear, or resentment.

Are you in this second group? Feeling stressed? Frustrated? Professionally adrift? Wondering how to feel good about work again?

You're not alone. Most of us feel stuck or uncertain at times.

Research by the Gallup organization over many years suggests that only about a third of American employees typically are engaged in their jobs. These people are involved in, enthusiastic about and committed to their work and workplace.

When you're engaged, you feel positive about what you do. Not only are you happy, but also you're likely to be helping move your organization—and yourself—forward. You're on a path to success.

The story is different if you're among the 53 percent Gallup describes as not engaged. You don't feel so great. You try to complete your required tasks, but finding the energy to go the extra mile or break new ground is hard.

If you're among the 13 percent that Gallup describes as actively disengaged, you're in deeper trouble. You are not happy.

By acting out your unhappiness on the job, you may be making things worse.

If you're not enjoying work, it's time to make some changes. For one thing, when you are happier, you'll be more productive. Optimistic and motivated workers achieve more than their negative, disgruntled peers.

Career success is only one thing at stake here. You devote a huge portion of your life to your occupation. Your relationship to work impacts everything—your health, your family life, even the way you see the world.

This book can help you become happier in your work. As an executive coach, I've worked with thousands of professionals and know positive change is possible, even in the dark times. Transforming your relationship with work may be easier than you think.

Even if you're feeling trapped, remember that you own your career. You can change your work life if you want to. The starting point is with you, today.

The book first looks at the basics of career happiness. This is not an academic treatise, but please know everything I talk about is rooted in behavioral science. Research says that every one of us has the power to adjust our attitude, enhance our skills and intelligence, reinvent the ways we approach life, and even change how our brain operates.

With this book we explore how the choices you make can shift your work experience. Beyond the fundamentals of professional fulfillment, we focus on how you're more likely to remain enthused and successful at work when you pay attention to your health and the activities that make life satisfying for you.

We also discuss techniques for handling some of the trials and distractions that might get in the way of a good day at work. Many chapters examine specific challenges and offer practical solutions so you can find greater enjoyment, meaning, and achievement on the job.

I've shaped the book like I might frame an ongoing discussion with a coaching client. As you read the chapters from start to finish, we return to some issues and go deeper as we move along. At the end of each chapter are suggested exercises or key takeaways.

In my mind I see you using this as a workbook, and I imagine you making notations in your e-book or scribbling notes in the margins of paper pages.

Because you're busy, I've also made each chapter a standalone discussion of a specific topic. You can jump around the chapters, picking those that address issues you may find most troublesome on any particular day.

Throughout the book are true stories about real people. In some cases they're lessons from the experiences of my clients. When I mention a person only by a first name, I am referring to a client or mentee whose identity I've masked to protect the confidentiality.

Often suggestions for a rewarding career are illustrated through the words of guests on my podcast about careers, Jazzed About Work (you can hear it on NPR.org). An asterisk appears next to the name of each podcast guest, and the appendix lists the dates of relevant podcast episodes.

Much of the research and most examples are drawn from the United States, but the principles are universal. My first book, Think Like an Entrepreneur, Act Like a CEO, brings me feedback from around the world, and I am struck by how the same points seem to resonate with readers, whether they are in Africa, the Middle East, or Australia.

I became intrigued with many of the book's topics during my earlier career as a lawyer and later as a corporate executive.

Since then, as a career coach, I've explored these concepts and strategies with countless clients.

While no job is permanent, you probably do not have to change jobs to find more joy in your work. You can shift your attitude and choose simple steps to get unstuck, beat back boredom, create deeper meaning in each day, and once again be enthusiastic about your career.

Chapter 1

You Can Make Work Feel More Like Play

Sometimes play seems like the kind of activity that can make us happy, as opposed to work, which can feel like a drag.

True, play is fun, and it seems we have evolved to enjoy it. For human children and other young mammals, it's a vital learning opportunity, a chance to acquire social and other skills that allow us to thrive later in life. But when we reflect on our lives, the contrast between work and play isn't that stark.

The difference between work and play is something I discussed with my client Mia, who manages eight multimedia journalists within the communications operation of a large, successful organization.

When we first spoke, Mia said she probably shouldn't be complaining about her career. Producing media projects was what she'd always wanted, and she felt lucky to have some job security. Yet Mia was unhappy with her job and wanted to take action.

One issue was the relentless deadlines, but her discontent stemmed from more than the pressure to get things done. Mia saw herself as working harder and better than her boss, colleagues, and direct reports. However, she believed she didn't get a fair share of respect. She fretted constantly about perceived slights, missed promotions, and other ways her career felt stymied.

Soon, however, Mia's life changed significantly. First, her father had a heart attack, and within weeks her husband was diagnosed with cancer. After years of disciplining herself to focus mostly on career success, Mia quickly redirected much of her energy to taking care of her family.

As Mia navigated through a few difficult months, her attitude toward her career shifted. With much of her attention elsewhere, she stopped obsessing about past slights and stalled upward mobility.

Mia relaxed her insistence on perfection and gradually abandoned her need to control every detail. Doing so enabled her to see other ways of getting things done. She became better at delegating tasks, coaching staffers, and rolling with the punches when things didn't go as expected. In a matter of months she became a stronger, more optimistic leader, with a new appreciation for her supportive team.

As the health of her dad and husband improved, Mia found herself once again excited about going to work. Her mindset had changed, so instead of resuming her control-freak ways, she concentrated on empowering her team. She also had fun by working directly on creative projects.

Mia said that her work now felt more like play. Nothing had changed in her job description. But for her, everything had changed.

THE SAME ACTIVITIES MAY FEEL EITHER LIKE WORK OR PLAY

In our final coaching session, Mia and I revisited the topic of play versus work. The distinction is not that work requires more effort than play. When you watch kids playing baseball or grown-ups playing tennis, they're clearly trying hard. When Mia turned again to hands-on creative work, she worked with a new intensity, loving every minute of it.

In fact, making an effort is essential to both the gratification of meaningful work and the fun of engaging play. It takes effort to learn something new, build a deeper skill, or finish any kind of rewarding project. Exerting effort in any activity is part of what makes us feel alive.

Part of the difference is that work is more tied to a duty. You're obligated to someone else, like your boss or client. In contrast, pure play is something you elect to do because you enjoy it. Here's where it gets interesting: an activity required by your occupation can feel more like play when you choose how to do it.

In Mia's case, she'd become consumed by anger and insecurity, and trapped by her need to control things beyond her reach. Exhausted by micromanaging, she lost the ability to experiment and innovate.

Mia's mindset shifted dramatically when her concern for her family disrupted her insistence on control at the office. She stopped worrying about getting credit and rethought her narrow view of how leaders should act. As Mia encouraged team members to pursue tasks in their own way, they became happier. And so did she.

I wasn't surprised to see Mia feel happier, because her experience is consistent with the research. Science says some measure of autonomy—and the opportunity to be inventive, work in your own way, and draw on your strengths—is a basic human need. Finding a more positive way to engage in your work, like Mia did, will make you a happier person.

TO MAKE WORK FEEL MORE LIKE PLAY, BE AWARE OF YOUR CHOICES

Throughout this book I talk about ways to modify your situation and find more satisfaction in your work. If you don't want to wait, you can take a step toward happiness right now by choosing to do something in a way that's outside your normal pattern.

I understand you may feel stuck. Some of that comes from your habits, your routine way of looking at things, and perhaps a negative voice in your head. The challenge can be to get out of your own way.

You probably have far more chances to make decisions on the job than you typically notice. If you make even one new choice, you might feel a little better.

Looking for a bit of independence doesn't mean you want to avoid responsibility or let down your boss. Rebellion is not required. Exercising autonomy might mean approaching assignments with a more positive attitude or a personal style that better aligns with your true values.

Even in a rigidly controlled environment—an airplane cockpit, a hospital operating room, a busy restaurant kitchen—you can select how to approach each task. As we explore in future chapters, you have endless opportunities to make slight shifts, like deepening your focus, changing your attitude, or listening more intently to other people.

EXERCISE:

When you consciously decide to try something new or change how you manage a familiar task, you cultivate a sense of accomplishment. Your new choice can lead to a quick feeling of success, and that will make work feel less like drudgery.

To make work feel a little more enjoyable, try these techniques:

1. Say thank you. Feeling even a glimmer of gratitude can improve your day. So think about someone who has been helpful and express your appreciation. Whether you send a note or speak up in a meeting, the gesture will make you both feel better.

2. Do it differently. Even tasks you enjoy can become tedious with too much repetition. If a project feels dull, look for ways to change things. Whenever possible, expand your skill set and deepen your expertise.

3. Quit whining. Adjust your attitude by shifting your focus from things that bother you. Watch for your urge to complain, whether aloud or in your head. When you feel a complaint bubble up, shut it down before your words tumble out. Instead, say something positive, either aloud or to yourself.

4. Eat a frog. Does your mood plummet when you look at the tedious overdue tasks on your to-do list? Mark Twain said if you eat a live frog in the morning, nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day. His advice would be to tackle a small but distasteful task now so you have it out of the way. The relief that comes from eating a frog can inspire a more cheerful outlook.

5. Create a game. Give yourself thirty minutes to rush through as many small tasks as you can manage. Don't dither about how to do something—just get it done. Then count the items you've completed—keeping track of accomplishments is satisfying and part of the fun.

Chapter 2

Feeling Upbeat Helps You Succeed

Coaching clients often sound apologetic when they talk about wanting to be happier at work. It's as though they think feeling good is unprofessional. But that's not true.

In this chapter I talk about what it means to be happy. And I touch on a few of the reasons being happy is so important, including at work.

A simple definition of happiness is that you're feeling good. You're cheerful, you're enjoying life, and you hope your contentment can continue.

While people experience happiness in different ways, the positive emotions of happy people commonly are accompanied by a deeper sense of meaning and purpose. Long-term happiness often includes a sense of being connected with other people and a feeling of contribution to the greater good.

In contrast, when you're unhappy, you feel miserable. Maybe you have a sense of isolation, or you're overwhelmed by stress and anxiety. Your mood is gloomy, which can sap your energy and drive people away.

Remember Mia from Chapter 1? In our initial conversation she worried that she'd have to choose between career success and her growing desire to be happier. That wasn't the case. For her, happiness and career accomplishment seemed to arrive hand in hand.

To spend time at home, Mia placed more trust in her team, and an unexpected consequence was that she had more fun at work. Then gradually, as a by-product of her new leadership style and more positive attitude, she and her team became more creative and better at meeting their goals.

Happiness and success are similar in that you can't pursue either directly. Each seems to emerge as a consequence of the way you manage yourself and your activities.

As with Mia, a chicken-and-egg loop often ties happiness with success. You try something new, and it works better than the old way. The accomplishment makes you feel more confident and relaxed, so you're in a great mood when you meet with a colleague. Soon the two of you create an even bigger plan, and you both enjoy the success.

Throughout the 20th century, industrial psychologists studied the relationship between positivity and productivity. Their work indicated that happy workers accomplish more than their unhappy peers. Upbeat people tend to be healthier, get along better with their colleagues, and are more likely to be strong leaders.

Until more recent advances in brain science, researchers continued to wonder: what comes first, the happiness or the success? Now the results are in, and positive emotions clearly are the starting point for career success.

In The Happiness Advantage, psychologist Shawn Achor explains that years ago we were taught that if you work hard, you would be successful. Now "new research