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    Muscle Memory
    Muscle Memory
    Muscle Memory
    Ebook58 pages23 minutes

    Muscle Memory

    By M.E. Berkley

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    About this ebook

    Muscle Memory is the debut collection by Australian poet M.E. Berkley. A collage of words capturing moments from her life, an unfiltered glimpse into the realities of mental health, grief, healing, religious trauma, lovers come and gone, Muscle Memory keeps no secrets.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherGinninderra Press
    Release dateMar 31, 2022
    ISBN9781761092800
    Muscle Memory

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      Book preview

      Muscle Memory - M.E. Berkley

      Part One

      IRIS

      Moon child

      No one knows me like the moon does.

      The secrets I have shared with her

      Under cold breath over bruised knees

      Tell more of my soul

      Than the months spent searching for home

      In blades of grass and lungfuls of air.

      Her light holds me like a lover

      And I welcome that embrace

      As the shore welcomes the sea.

      I am pure again when I look upon her face

      And she whispers healing songs,

      Sent through the wind and the tide.

      To leave a pretty corpse

      If only

      The nights I spent

      With stomach growling

      And teeth chattering

      Could stop the bile

      Rising

      Each time I stare

      Into a reflective surface

      Sometimes

      When the sun sets

      I can’t help

      But be left

      Feeling

      At home in the dark

      Because everyone is beautiful

      With the lights off

      Westport

      I think about this beach a lot

      My family spent Christmas in Connecticut

      The winter after I tried to kill myself

      We drove past the sandy shore

      Where trees were skeletons

      And a lone park bench

      Sat like a lighthouse

      Steady, strong

      I think maybe in the afterlife I will be on this beach

      I will walk its length until I know it

      Like the moon knows the tides

      And I will share with it

      The secrets I first whispered

      Out a car window when I was fourteen and depressed

      I will sit on that bench

      And feel the cool wind caress me

      Not like a lover, but like a mother

      One unlike the earthly one I was given

      One who will tend to my soul

      As a part of her own

      Folie à deux

      I know what it’s like

      To fill your pockets with rocks

      And wade into the water

      To take off your rings

      Climb into your car

      Turn the engine on

      And close your eyes

      Lock your children away

      Stick your head

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