The City in Which I Love You
By Li-Young Lee
()
About this ebook
I.
Furious Versionis
II.
The Interrogation
This Hour And What Is Dead
Arise, Go Down
My Father, In Heaven, Is Reading Out Loud
For A New Citizen Of These United States
With Ruins
III.
This Room And Everything In It
The City In Which I Love You
IV.
The Waiting
A Story
Goodnight
You Must Sing
Here I Am
A Final Thing
V.
The Cleaving
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Book preview
The City in Which I Love You - Li-Young Lee
I
Furious Versions
1.
These days I waken in the used light
of someone’s spent life, to discover
the birds have stripped my various names of meaning entire:
the sparrow by quarrel,
the dove by grievance.
I lie
dismantled. I feel
the hours. Do they veer
to dusk? Or dawn?
Will I rise and go
out into an American city?
Or walk down to the wilderness sea?
I might run with wife and children to the docks
to bribe an officer for our lives
and perilous passage.
Then I’d answer
in an oceanic tongue
to Professor, Capitalist, Husband, Father.
Or I might have one more
hour of sleep before my father
comes to take me
to his snowbound church
where I dust the pews and he sets candles
out the color of teeth.
That means I was born in Bandung, 1958;
on my father’s back, in borrowed clothes,
I came to America.
And I wonder
if I imagined those wintry mornings
in a dim nave, since
I’m the only one
who’s lived to tell it,
and I confuse
the details; was it my father’s skin
which shone like teeth?
Was it his heart that lay snowbound?
But if I waken to a jailer
rousting me to meet my wife and son,
come to see me in my cell
where I eat the chocolate
and smoke the cigarettes they smuggle,
what name do I answer to?
And did I stand
on the train from Chicago to Pittsburgh
so my fevered son could sleep? Or did I
open my eyes
and see my father’s closed face
rocking above me?
Memory revises me.
Even now a letter
comes from a place
I don’t know, from someone
with my name
and postmarked years ago,
while I await
injunctions from the light
or the dark;
I wait for shapeliness
limned, or dissolution.
Is paradise due or narrowly missed
until another thousand years?
I wait
in a blue hour
and faraway noise of hammering,
and on a page a poem begun, something
about to be dispersed,
something about to come into being.
2.
I wake to black
and one sound—
neither a heart
approaching nor one shoe
coming, but something
less measured, never
arriving. I wander
a house I thought I knew;
I walk the halls as if the halls
of that other
mansion, my father’s heart.
I follow the sound
past a black window
where a bird sits like a blacker
question, To where? To where? To where?
Past my mother’s room where her
knees creak, Meaning. Meaning.
While a rose
rattles at my ear, Where
is your father?
And the silent house
booms, Gone. Long gone.
A door jumps
out from shadows,
then jumps away. This
is what I’ve come to find:
the back door, unlatched.
Tooled