More than Blood

Chapter 1 – Max

I held the shotgun up to my eye. I had great aim, but I’d never shot anything that was living. He stood there, massive and proud. His fur was soft brown with spots of white covering the underbelly, throat, and underneath the tail. His antlers were dynamic, the branchlike fingers spreading above his head. I kept my breath slow, though my palms were sweating.

Now, Dad?

He slowly put his finger to his lips, reminding me that any sudden sound or movement would scare him off. I looked down the barrel of my gun. This was the perfect shot.

My dad's voice was even quieter than mine. Now.

I took a breath, and as I exhaled, I pulled back on the trigger and watched as the bullet hit the deer broadside and he fell to the ground. I got him! I ran down the tree stand as fast as I could. It wasn’t the smartest thing to do considering a fall from the stand could break a few bones, but I was excited. I shot my first buck—a ten-pointer!

That was a perfect shot, Max. Most grown men can’t shoot like that!

The look on my dad's face let me know just how proud he was. He smiled and gave me a high five as he looked at the buck on the ground, then turned back to me and squeezed me in a bear hug.

Laughing, I yelled, Dad! I love you, but let up. You’re squishing me!

My dad put me down and told me to stand with the deer in my best hunting pose. I had no idea what that meant. All I knew was that I would be feeding my family for months with this deer. Not my dad, but me. I also knew he would get the head mounted since it was my first buck—and it was a beauty. This was turning out to be the best day of my life.

I loved hunting, and even more, I loved spending time with my family. My mom always said that family is everything and that she and my dad would always be there for Lily and me. She also told me it was important for my sister and me to get along. That was hard sometimes because she was younger than me and a little annoying. My dad said that she looked up to me and that was why she always wanted to do what I was doing. So, I’d let her fish with me or help me pile wood for the cabin fire. We played games almost every evening, and sometimes I let her win. Other times, I won by a lot, and she would cry and tattle on me. My parents would laugh and tell me to take it easy on her. I told them that everyone needs to know what it feels like to lose—it's a part of life. My mom would roll her eyes and remind me that I wasn’t the one responsible for teaching my sister lessons like that.

I think my mom was very protective about my relationship with Lily because her relationship with her sister, my aunt Tina, was pretty much nonexistent. They’d fought many years ago (I never knew what it was about), and they hardly spoke to each other anymore. My mom didn’t say much about her. She just said that it was a shame her sister didn’t care to repair their relationship. As for my grandparents, my grandma died when I was only two years old from breast cancer, and my grandpa died when I was six from a heart condition. My mom thinks he died of a broken heart.

I didn’t know my dad's family very much. His parents were kind of old and couldn’t travel across the country to see us. We flew out to California to see them once a year. My dad didn’t have any siblings and never mentioned any aunts or uncles. His family wasn’t very close, and he hardly knew any of his extended family.

My parents taught me how to live off the land. We weren’t poor—we just liked to get as much of our own food as possible. My dad and I hunted for protein, and my mom and little sister took care of the gardens and greenhouse. We lived in a neighborhood home in the suburbs of Baltimore, Maryland, but owned a really cool hunting cabin about two hours away.

The cabin wasn’t much to look at. It was literally in the middle of nowhere—a small, two-bedroom log cabin. One bedroom was my parents’, and the other I had to share with my sister. Our room was cool because it had two sets of bunk beds for when we brought friends with us.

The living room had a big fireplace made out of stone. One of my favorite things to do was start a fire at night when my mom was cooking dinner. My sister, Dad, and I would play board games at the coffee table in front of the fireplace. The living room had a couch that pulled out into a bed for when my parents’ friends wanted to come to the cabin to hang out or hunt. It also had a recliner that I tended to fall asleep in at night.

The kitchen was small, but it had all the basic stuff—refrigerator, stove, cabinets. A small table stood against one wall there, but we hardly used it. Most of the time, we ate sitting on the floor around the coffee table.

During the hunting season, my family spent most of our weekends out at the cabin. Sometimes my dad would even let me skip school to hunt. He was cool like that.

After my dad snapped the photo of me and the deer, I was anxious to get moving. Dad, we need to get this thing gutted and into the pickup! Gutting deer was not a pretty process, but it was necessary.

You’re it! my dad yelled.

Seriously, you’re going to let me gut this thing? Oh man, it's going to be nasty.

My dad handed me the knife and gave me that nod that meant, You can do this. I made the perfect cut and took out the innards, leaving them for the wildlife to feast on. I guess you learn a lot just by watching someone for years. I’d always watched everything my dad did when we were in the woods. That day, all that watching finally paid off.

Okay, I’ll help you get this sucker to the truck. We need to get moving. Your mom is expecting us home by six o’clock. I’m taking her out for our anniversary.

My dad tagged the deer, and we began moving toward our big red pickup truck. It was an old, red Ford with only a front bench made of brown leather. The bench had many tears in it from our pocketknives and other things that would get caught on the seat. Dad loved that truck. He only used it for hunting at the cabin and transporting animals to the butcher shop. My mom and sister didn’t ride in it much. They said it was too old and dirty for their liking.

After we secured the deer in the back of the pickup, I hopped in the passenger side while my dad started the truck and cranked the music. It was an old Phil Collins mixtape from his college years—one of his favorites. This truck was so old, it only had a cassette tape player and a radio. My dad enjoyed the nostalgia his truck offered him. He loved everything about the ’80s and ’90s. He turned up the volume, blasting it and singing along to Sussudio. I just shook my head and joined in as we took the long trip to the butcher shop.

My mom and dad were great together. They got married sometime in the early ’90s. My dad treated my mom like a queen, and she adored her time with him. They liked spending time with Lily and me, but they also made time for each other. Everyone could tell they loved each other. Nothing was fake about their relationship.

My dad and I drove straight to the butcher shop, which was about halfway between our cabin and our home in Baltimore. My dad used a butcher whenever he didn’t have time to process a deer himself.

After dropping off the deer, we hurried home. He knew that he would be dust if he didn’t arrive back in time to take my mom out. As much as they loved each other, she sure had a way of expressing her disapproval when he was late for things. It made my sister and I laugh to see my mom get feisty with my dad. It was all in fun, but my dad took it seriously.

At home, I told my mom about my deer. She seemed just as excited as he had been. I loved it when my parents were proud of me, and not just for getting an A on a test but for other things, real-life things. She hugged me and then told me to take a shower before Tori, our babysitter, arrived. Tori was a teenage girl who lived a few doors down. Our parents were friends, so Mom and Dad were okay with leaving us with her. I always felt kind of embarrassed that my mom insisted on having a babysitter for us, but I knew that they worried something bad would happen if it was just my sister and me at the house late at night.

I rolled my eyes (at the babysitter part) and went to take a shower.

After showering and putting on new clothes, I ran downstairs to talk more about the deer with my mom. She was eager to go, but Dad was still getting ready. I loved talking to my mom. She had such a sweet and calming presence. I never felt scared or anxious around her—she always made me feel safe and loved. Many people said I looked like my mom, and I didn’t mind. She was very pretty, after all.

We talked for about twenty minutes, until my dad entered the room. There's my hunting hero! I’m still stoked about your deer. I can’t wait to hang that mount!

My mom rolled her eyes. She was not a fan of hanging taxidermy in our house. My dad was allowed room to hang animals in his office, and he could hang as much as he wanted in the cabin, but she didn’t want to blend any of it in with her décor. Still, I was hoping she would let me hang my deer in my bedroom. I figured I would ask her tomorrow, as she was in a hurry to leave at this point. Tori was already there, in our living room playing with Lily. She must have arrived while I was taking a shower. My mom grabbed her purse, indicating to my dad that she was ready, and they headed toward the front door.

Be good, both of you, my dad warned. He always said that—even though my sister and I were never any trouble for Tori. My mom hugged and kissed us both and told us not to stay up too late. They stepped out the door, closing it behind them. That was the last time I ever saw them alive.

Chapter 2 – Tragedy

I was asleep when the sounds woke me up—sirens, lots of them. They were off in the distance but loud enough that I shot straight out of bed. I was confused, because as I stood next to the bed, I noticed that the lights were close, but the sirens sounded like they were coming from several streets away.

I rushed to the top of the stairs, almost falling down the first few steps. Tori! Why are there flashing lights at our house? I stopped suddenly. The pit of my stomach dropped, and my legs got shaky. Tori was standing at the front door with her back to me, facing two police officers. Her voice was quiet, but I heard her say, Okay, let me call my mom. She’ll come over and help. As Tori turned around, I noticed that she was crying. I knew something really bad had happened.

I walked down the stairs, holding on to the railing so that I wouldn’t fall. My legs were shaking hard. It was like they knew more than my brain did.

What's going on, Tori?

She stared at me with the house phone up to her ear, ignoring my question. Hi, Mom. Can you please come to the Creeds’ house? Something happened. She hung up the phone and walked back to the door, gesturing for the police officers to enter our house.

What is happening! My voice was loud this time. Tori continued to say nothing. Both officers stared at me. One finally broke the silence.

Let's wait until your babysitter's mom gets here, and then we’ll discuss why we’re—

Before the officer could finish his sentence, Mrs. Derby, Tori's mom, ran into the house. She looked frantic, trying to catch her breath and waving her arms.

What happened? Why are you here? Are you all okay?

Yes, ma’am, the kids are fine. There's been an accident.

An accident. Something I did not want to hear. Something that told me the next sentence would be excruciating. Before they gave us the news, my sister appeared at the top of the stairs, rubbing her eyes and still half-asleep.

Why is it so loud? Can you all be quiet? I’m trying to sleep.

I called up to her. Lily, come downstairs. Come here. The police are here and I don’t know why.

Lily walked down the stairs, still unaware that anything was wrong. I held her close, waiting for what was coming next. One police officer gestured toward the sofa.

Have a seat.

I don’t want to sit! I yelled. Where are my parents? Shouldn’t you wait for them or at least call them?

Mrs. Derby put her hand on my shoulder. Max, have a seat. I’m here. Let the officers tell us what's going on.

I sat on the couch, with Mrs. Derby to my left and Lily to my right. Tori stood near the door as though she didn’t want to hear any of it again. One officer sat in the recliner, leaning as far forward as he could so that his face was only inches away from Lily and me. The other