The Courage to Live a Meaningful Life: A Journey of Truth, Forgiveness, and Positivity 

Copyright © 2024 by Andy Bui

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ISBN Paperback: 979-8-218-41876-2

ISBN Hardcover: 979-8-9917372-1-0

ISBN Ebook: 979-8-9917372-0-3

www.andybui.life

To my wife - To bring light to you, to bring life to me.

To my boys, Max and Micah - May this unlock your minds to their full potential. Unlimited possibilities are within your reach.

Contents

INTRODUCTION

1.PATH TO SIN

2.WORSHIPPING MYSELF

3.THE SUDDEN JOURNEY

4.FREED FROM THE BURDENS OF HATRED

5.EXPERIENCING THE PRESENCE

6.LIFE’S BLESSINGS AND CURSES

7.THE ‘AFTER’

8.THE PATH TO SELF-IMPROVEMENT

9.MY INTERPRETATION

10.MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS

11.OUR FAMILY

12.CONDITIONING THE MIND

13.BATTLING INNER DEMONS

14.THIS JOURNEY HAS NO END

I AM GRATEFUL

INTRODUCTION

Staring through the tiny airplane window, everything looked insignificant. With vague memories of my childhood in Vietnam, I touched American soil for the first time in 1986 at the age of five. Raised in a Buddhist home as a Christian, my apathy toward religion was apparent, and I had avoided the conversation about it throughout life. I was quite confused, as I grew up without a concrete belief system. My father, who I do not recall in detail, is Catholic, while my mother is Buddhist. My mother converted to marry my father, who already had three daughters—and desired a son.

The post-Vietnam War era was chaotic in my homeland. My mother opposed having another child, and her three children were all older. With faith, she gave my father a son. The opportunity of a lifetime presented itself; my mother decided to leave my father to pursue a better life for us. She took only three of her children—Lynn, Nina, and me—and fled to America. We were forced to leave my half-brother, Tung, behind due to missing documentation and a limited immigration window. My mother carries that burden to this day.

Despite empty pockets and no concrete plans, we were relieved to have escaped a country of communism and tyranny. My father died of a heart attack in Vietnam when I was a freshman in high school. The sorrow, grief, and self-pity have been embedded in me throughout my adulthood.

As an above-average college student with only one year of school left, my motivation and determination took a back seat to the heartbreak of my first love. Young and experiencing these feelings for the first time, I failed in the footsteps of hurt and anger. As I tried to cope and deal with the emotions, my carefree lifestyle led to a litany of problems in my life.

This book is essentially one long confession to my family, the world, God, and myself. It symbolizes the courage to live a meaningful life, overcome negative experiences, and prevail for a greater cause. That courage manifested the idea to write this memoir and to improve for God, be obedient, and carry out His plan.

Although we may think our insignificant individual lives have minimal impact on the world, each of us contributes to and impacts humanity more than we know—one story at a time. More positive, life-changing stories should be heard. Hopefully, one day, they will outweigh the negative ones that have shaped our lives.

This book shares the positive and negative experiences of my sudden life transformation. From journaling in a note application on my phone to what is now this book, The Courage to Live a Meaningful Life, the initial intent was to improve. Now the purpose is to share that, through faith, we can give meaning to living well for others, the youth, in particular.

The first few chapters of this book document my various struggles and addictions. The remainder of the book consists of the stream-of-consciousness-style thoughts and interpretations I had during my recovery, stemming from my experiences with faith. While I turn my life around and become a new man, I share my newly acquired perspectives.

I am grateful for my second life, and equally grateful for my family and friends. May these words encourage, give hope, and find a place in your heart to live meaningfully.

Many people know the saying You can’t change overnight. While it is true that change often requires time and effort, one can change overnight. Sudden transformations are possible, albeit challenging.

For many years, I was adamant that the purpose of life was centered around family, friends, and career. It is not. My purpose is to pursue an everlasting relationship with God. I now know my genuine destiny is to seek and follow faith through Christ. I trust that He will care for all of his children, including me, and lead with wisdom and words to share on this endless journey.

Chapter one

PATH TO SIN

Overcoming the Fear of Confession

L et’s go to church, I told my wife.

We arrived at Word of Life, a nondenominational church, on Easter Sunday of 2023. We had not attended church in years. Living just five minutes away, this would be my first time there. I have lived in Brandon, Mississippi, for twenty years, and my wife has always told me we must attend Word of Life one day, as I drive past it daily on my commute to work.

Finally, we entered this new world. An aura of negative energy followed as I walked into the church, thinking to myself, This is like a concert. The interior was huge, with a big stage and hundreds of people in attendance. My first impression of Pastor Joel was negative. He looked short, wore glasses and outdated casual clothing, and was balding. I was turned off; the evil spirit had influenced me.

While he spoke in a high-pitched voice, something spiritual happened to me. There was a deep connection to every word preached. He spoke clearly, with passion and heart. I was most captivated by his story of how he almost walked away from faith after the passing of his father. This was his reason for postponing the construction of the church, as it had been unfinished for years. The message was heard. The words no longer sounded like syllables bouncing off my ears. I was mesmerized.

But seeing one of my neighbors who attended the service, my negativity returned. She was on her phone.

Why are you on your phone? I wondered. Why are you here if you are not listening to the message? Later, it dawned on me that she was taking notes.

I left the sermon with great clarity, understanding, and hope—revived with a glimpse of purpose and fulfillment. It was a profound experience that ended with an excellent discussion with my wife over lunch on a warm, clear day.

The revelation could have happened anytime, anywhere, with anyone. But it happened that day in the moments after Pastor Joel uttered his fruitful words; I had already accepted Christ and faith—a realization that would stay with me. My guilt had opened the gates to allow the acceptance of the church.

Soon after the service, a voice rang out, clear and specific. However, I was unable to identify it at the time. It was either God or my wife’s deceased mother, who I had been praying to. But those prayers had been tarnished by my cries for help and false intent, and induced with negative energy.

The voice told me, You must confess to your wife. You must tell her all your darkest secrets and sins. It told me not to confess to a priest or anyone else. I was terrified that the suggestion would cost me my wife, children, and life.

While under the influence of marijuana at night to help me sleep, another voice filtered through. This one was different; it had a soft, devious, persuasive tone. It had evil intentions.

You do not need to confess. She does not know your dark secrets; no one does. It has been seventeen years. Why risk ruining your life?

Morning came, and the voice of God returned, telling me to confess and speak my truth. After battling with the two voices for months, I finally found the strength and courage to tell my wife everything.

Apathy Toward Religion

Am I Buddhist or Catholic? I distinctly remember asking myself this in high school. At that time, growing into manhood, I was debating if I should be like my mother and the rest of my family and become Buddhist or follow my late father’s religion as I was baptized. I wanted to be considerate and respectful of others and other religions when I decided which path to take.

I went to the temples, where the Buddhists held their functions and festivals, with my older sister, Nina. Chinese New Year at the temples was my favorite, as they had food, fireworks, and the Dragon Dance (traditional Chinese dance in costume). The first time I remember going to church was with my mother’s boyfriend, Frank, who was Mexican. Frank, who I call Franko, and his family welcomed my mother and me into their Christian-based family. I call them my second family.

Karen, Franko’s oldest daughter, had an older daughter and a son one year younger than me, with whom I would spend most of my summers. As my relationship with them grew, my visits and encounters with the church became frequent, as both kids attended a private Christian school. The person I looked up to the most, besides Franko, was his youngest son, Kiki. He was full of life, a man of faith, with a beautiful wife and a young daughter who was around my age and a successful landscaping business. His role and interactions with his family were what I wanted when I had my own family. I would stay with him on the weekends and go to church. His family wore fresh, ironed clothing, and I was surprised and impressed, as I had never seen my family iron anything.

My mother later moved to Mississippi to help my oldest sister, Lynn, with her children. I stayed with Franko for a few more years and then moved back in with my family as I entered high school.

Andy, what is that you’re wearing on your neck? a high school counselor asked me.

It’s a Buddha made of jade, I responded.

That’s nice, but you should wear a cross, she continued. She proceeded to tell me a story about how she was in an accident, and without Christ she would not have survived.

I overlooked the heartfelt content of the story and focused only on why she rejected my Buddha and its religion. There are also incredible stories of Buddha helping people, especially in my homeland, Vietnam. I was taken aback by the fact that she was inconsiderate of other people’s religions, even though she was a sweet, loving