APPROVAL ADDICTION 
PODCAST #378
In this episode of The Confidence Podcast

What is approval addiction and what does it look like?
3 ways to break free from the patterns 
Getting deep about approval - and how to have peace in being who you are without it


Approval addiction, or affirmation addiction, is rampant and a debilitating pattern to allow dominate in your heart. You don't have to always be stuck in this addictive, often negative and powerless place. You can learn to be free from the need to earn approval, get permission or be affirmed by others to feel like you're "enough." Get the full show notes at www.trishblackwell.com/378
FIRST OFF, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BEAUTIFUL 5-YEAR-OLD ELLIE!!!!
REVIEW OF THE WEEK: 
Love this podcast so far -  5 stars by _m4ggie
Her words are super encouraging and a delight to listen to

Ya'll, in life, the best advice I was ever given, is to ask for what you want.
You only get in life what you have the courage to ask for. 
So I am having the courage to ask you to leave me some love. 
OK, LET'S TALK ABOUT APPROVAL ADDICTION
Addicted to approval, what does this mean?
It's the belief that it's possible to please everyone. 
It creates a self-imposed prison
It's both people-pleasing and performing to impress. 
I was addicted to approval. What did it mean for me?
-Wanting to be liked by everyone
-Wanting to be the absolute best at anything I did
-Wanting to be favored by teachers and employers
-Wanting to be in all social groups 
-Wanting to be as successful as possible
-Wanting to be stand out physically - and hiding when I didn't feel that way
-Wanting to be built up by my parents in ways they weren't wired to be 
-Wanting to date only the most attractive and popular people
-Wanting to appear like I had it all together 
-Wanting to create the image of a perfect life (being more interested in appearing to have a perfect life than living one)
Ways approval addiction can manifest: 
Lack of achievement
Lack of personal fulfillment
Low self-esteem
Reduced performance
Increased stress and anxiety
Increased pressure
Overcommitment of schedule
People pleasing 
Examples of Types of Behaviors:
Changing your position because other people don't agree or approve 
Giving compliments to gain attention 
Getting upset if someone disagrees with you 
Agreeing when you don't really agree
Losing your voice and not giving your true opinion 
Doing what you don't want to do because you can't say no 
Failing to complain or communicate over wrongdoing 
Spreading or participating in gossip
Asking permission or waiting for someone to tell you that you are qualified
Consistently apologizing 
Pretending to be an authority on everything
BREAK FOR SPONSORSHIP 
www.arielselwyn.com 
Book: Though the Mountains Be Shaken
3 WAYS TO BREAK APPROVAL ADDICTION
First, acknowledge the addictive behavior. 

Give yourself your own approval.
You have already been approved by God.
Ask for approval from people who are trustworthy. 

Then, after those things, most importantly, TAKE ACTION.
There's a reason I call my clients "action takers".
If you can embody this forward momentum mindset, you will push past the barriers of needing permission or affirmation from others to move through yourself.
GETTING DEEP ABOUT APPROVAL: HOW TO BE HAPPY WITHOUT IT
Insecure = in secure = not secure.
Disease = dis - ease = not at ease or peace.
Confidence is a deep feeling of security and safety.
What I blamed on disease and on a type of personality was actually just a lack of peace in my life. Peace was a misplaced value on what mattered and what didn't - on what would bring me real fulfillment and what wouldn't. 
QUESTIONS TO THINK ABOUT: 
Where will you find your peace?
Does your relationship with pressure serve you or harm you? 
What matters more, success or significance? 
Will you stop partnering with a spirit of desperation, lack, and fear? 
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