Cadets across the cult know and remember RC Slocum as the greatest head coach in Aggieland, and the last to lead us to a conference title. Unfortunately, even the maroon-tinted glasses of this author fail to block one undeniable fact: Slocum hailed from Louisiana.
Never to worry, the Aggies have plenty of redeeming history with the state of low education and high poverty. In preparation for this year’s Gulf War, let’s remember a few opponents.
The Tigers
Ah, dang it. Why’d I start with these guys… Well look, if you’re thinking of the Bayou Bengal dominance from the 2010s, you would be ignoring the golden years of the 1990s. Speak softly and carry a big crawfish, my Frenchmen. RC Slocum had his men finely tuned, winning 6 of his 7 meetings with LSU.
After a 15-year hiatus, the teams met in the 2011 Cotton Bowl, beginning a 7-game win streak for LSU that even Johnny Manziel couldn’t prevent. The man to snap the streak? Jimbo Fisher, who led the Aggies to victory in a 7OT shootout in his first season in College Station. Down 31-24 with seconds left on the clock, QB Kellen Mond and WR Quartney Davis found a way to score, sending the game into overtime. The two heavyweights matched punch-for-punch and score-for-score. The Aggies forced LSU to miss a two-point-conversion in the 7th inning, a score that WR Kendrick Rogers beat just five plays later, ending that game at 74-72.
Future NFL legends Joe Burrow, Justin Jefferson, and Clyde Edwards-Helaire left Kyle Field defeated that day, but would return to glory with a magical 2019 run. Ever since that day, the home team has won the series. Uh oh… dare I say confidence?
Overall Record: 23 - 36 - 3
The Green Wave
You look a little confused, reader, considering we haven’t faced the Wave since the 1960s. But that would ignore the most important game in Aggie history: the 1940 Sugar Bowl. Also known as the 1939 National Championship, in which your Fightin’ Texas Aggies were crowned champions-of-the-nation-and-therefore-the-world.
This victory created a long and storied tradition of a national-championship-winning dynasty, so powerful that the college football world has come to associate victory with Texas A&M.1
Seeing as they didn’t have iPhones back then, the best picture I can get to represent this season is from 2014, a game against UL Monroe in which the Aggies donned their retro ‘39 throwbacks, complete with leather helmet and a classic maroon look.
Overall Record: 10 - 5
The Bulldogs
Louisiana Tech bounced around as a Division II program until getting promoted into the FBS/I-AA ranks in 1989. The most notable of eleven matchups with the Aggies came in 2012. Originally scheduled as the season-opener, Hurricane Isaac postponed the game to the middle of October, when both teams had bye weeks scheduled.
The Aggies jumped to a 21-0 lead after one quarter, but Tech managed to battle back and make things interesting in the 4th quarter. Johnny Manziel put his foot back on the gas pedal to pull away from the Bulldogs. The QB loaded his Heisman campaign with 395 passing yards, 181 rushing yards, and 6 total TDs.
You may call them "Louisiana Tech," but you’d be better off pronouncing it like the locals: "Lose-iana Tech."
Overall Record: 11 - 0
The Ragin’ Cajuns
SLI, USL, U-La-La, or just plain Louisiana. It doesn’t matter what you call them, the Aggies are beating them. Unless you’re talking about 1996…
Please stop talking about 1996…
After a disappointing road loss to QB Steve Sarkisian’s BYU to start the season, QB Branndon Stewart led the Maroon and White into Lafayette for what should’ve been a cupcake classic. QB Jake Delhomme and WR Brandon Stokely seemed to have other plans for their visitors. A few untimely second-half turnovers, including 4 Cajun INTs, allowed the game to slip through Texas A&M’s hands. The Aggies lost the 1996 Ragin’ Nightmare en route to Slocum’s first 6-6 record, and the first season at- or below-.500 since 1983. The Cajun faithful stormed the field, tore down the goal posts, burned our crops, poisoned our water supply, and delivered a plague unto our houses.
There was redemption, however, as legend has it that the author of this very article met his wife on a blind date at the 2017 Texas A&M-Louisiana game. I can neither confirm nor deny this, I’m just telling you what people are saying around campus. Despite Kevin Sumlin’s best efforts, the Aggies cruised to a 24-point win. Thanks for making it a boring game, Coach.
Overall Record: 6 - 1
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All in all, we’re looking at a 50-42-3 record against the biggest teams hailing from the Sportsman’s Paradise. Add in a few wins over UL Monroe, McNeese, and Northwestern State, and you’ve got yourself a 62-48-3 gumbo of Maroon Kool-Aid that’ll have you singing "laissez les bons temps rouler" all night long.
We learn to take nothing for granted in college football. Sometimes you win, other times you get outscored. Sometimes you are hopeful, other times you are battered like a slab of catfish. Sometimes yoo grab da gata, and otha times da gata grab yoo rite off da pirogue and den yoo go for a swim den. One thing’s for sure though: when the Aggies take on the state of Louisiana, we’ll pick guitars, fill fruit jars, and be gay-oh.
And that’s exactly what we’re gonna do to them, Ags…?
BTHO LSU
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