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Between Two Worlds: Escape from Tyranny: Growing Up in the Shadow of Saddam
Zainab Salbi was eleven years old when her father was chosen to be Saddam Hussein's personal pilot and her family's life was grafted onto his. Her mother, the beautiful Alia, taught her daughter the skills she needed to survive. A plastic smile. Saying yes. Burying in boxes in her mind the horrors she glimpsed around her. Learn to erase your memories, she instructed. He can read eyes.
In this richly visual memoir, Salbi describes tyranny as she saw it--through the eyes of a privileged child, a rebellious teenager, a violated wife, and ultimately a public figure fighting to overcome the skill that once kept her alive: silence.
Between Two Worlds is a riveting quest for truth that deepens our understanding of the universal themes of power, fear, sexual subjugation, and the question one generation asks the one before it: How could you have let this happen to us?
In this richly visual memoir, Salbi describes tyranny as she saw it--through the eyes of a privileged child, a rebellious teenager, a violated wife, and ultimately a public figure fighting to overcome the skill that once kept her alive: silence.
Between Two Worlds is a riveting quest for truth that deepens our understanding of the universal themes of power, fear, sexual subjugation, and the question one generation asks the one before it: How could you have let this happen to us?
304 pages, Paperback
First published October 6, 2005
About the author
Zainab Salbi
9 books126 followersZainab Salbi is an Iraqi American writer, activist and social entrepreneur who is co-founder and president for Women for Women International.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 358 reviews
December 16, 2020
As I'm doing the reading a book from every country challenge, I'm finding that there are countries that it's harder to pick just one book. Iraq is definitely one of those countries. There is so much that I would like to learn about Iraq and it felt like one book couldn't teach me everything.
That said, Between Two Worlds is fantastic. With careful prose and an unflinching look, Salbi tells us about her years as part of an elite family in Iraq. She describes her family's relationship to Saddam Hussein and digs deep into dealing with her trauma after immigrating to the United States.
This book is a memoir but it does much more than just tell Salbi's story. It's also an analysis of womanhood, a bold view of women in conflict areas, of motherhood and daughterhood. It's an introduction to understanding Hussein's regime, it's a peek of life in Iraq, a look at immigration struggles in the United States. Salbi gracefully touches on so many subjects in such a holistic manner.
This book reminded me of Infidel and The Return: Fathers, Sons, and the Land in Between in the sense that all three talk about big geopolitical issues through the perspective of the family. The biggest theme in this book is Salbi questioning why her parents chose to stay in Iraq, even as things were becoming worse. Salbi deals with her anger at her parents while also balancing her awe at their strength. And all of this is so well written and painful.
As someone who spends too much time in leftist American circles, I'm used to thinking about the American Middle Eastern wars as a symptom of greed, as a sign of dominance in the Middle East, the so called war on terror. I also often feel overwhelmed by those problems, like heck, I understand the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, I'm done with the Middle East beyond that, I have no idea how to solve Iran/ Iraq/ Saudi Arabia/ Yemen/ etc. So hearing Salbi's opinions was like a breath of fresh air. It made me consider that the US invasion wasn't something Iraqis necessarily opposed, that toppling Hussein was not necessarily just an unfair intervention.
In response to hearing women want to live under the sharia law, Salbi says, "I had wanted them to reach out for secular laws that I thought would help free them. Instead, I was reminded that my own political burka, like that of the west, was as blinding in its way as the robes these women had been compelled to wear. My job was to help them achieve their own goals, not to impose mine." and wow. As an Israeli, I'm so very used to hearing foreigners impose their own goals on us (godammit, Americans, no one wants one binational state). I really want to keep this quote in mind as I continue engaging with conflicts.
To conclude, this is beautifully written and so engaging. I don't use this word often so you all know I mean it when I say that this book is inspirational.
What I'm Taking With Me
- After all of Salbi's declarations of love towards Amjad Atallah, they divorced in 2007, how can I believe in true love now?
- I have so many questions about Iraq, I've got to do more reading
- Salbi is very aware of how privileged she is and in many ways, that makes this book even more fascinating as she struggles to combine her experiences with Saddam Hussein and his own actions against her people.
------------
I simply can't believe that Iraq is so close to Israel, that the stories of this book happened not very far from my own home. Review to come!
That said, Between Two Worlds is fantastic. With careful prose and an unflinching look, Salbi tells us about her years as part of an elite family in Iraq. She describes her family's relationship to Saddam Hussein and digs deep into dealing with her trauma after immigrating to the United States.
This book is a memoir but it does much more than just tell Salbi's story. It's also an analysis of womanhood, a bold view of women in conflict areas, of motherhood and daughterhood. It's an introduction to understanding Hussein's regime, it's a peek of life in Iraq, a look at immigration struggles in the United States. Salbi gracefully touches on so many subjects in such a holistic manner.
This book reminded me of Infidel and The Return: Fathers, Sons, and the Land in Between in the sense that all three talk about big geopolitical issues through the perspective of the family. The biggest theme in this book is Salbi questioning why her parents chose to stay in Iraq, even as things were becoming worse. Salbi deals with her anger at her parents while also balancing her awe at their strength. And all of this is so well written and painful.
As someone who spends too much time in leftist American circles, I'm used to thinking about the American Middle Eastern wars as a symptom of greed, as a sign of dominance in the Middle East, the so called war on terror. I also often feel overwhelmed by those problems, like heck, I understand the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, I'm done with the Middle East beyond that, I have no idea how to solve Iran/ Iraq/ Saudi Arabia/ Yemen/ etc. So hearing Salbi's opinions was like a breath of fresh air. It made me consider that the US invasion wasn't something Iraqis necessarily opposed, that toppling Hussein was not necessarily just an unfair intervention.
In response to hearing women want to live under the sharia law, Salbi says, "I had wanted them to reach out for secular laws that I thought would help free them. Instead, I was reminded that my own political burka, like that of the west, was as blinding in its way as the robes these women had been compelled to wear. My job was to help them achieve their own goals, not to impose mine." and wow. As an Israeli, I'm so very used to hearing foreigners impose their own goals on us (godammit, Americans, no one wants one binational state). I really want to keep this quote in mind as I continue engaging with conflicts.
To conclude, this is beautifully written and so engaging. I don't use this word often so you all know I mean it when I say that this book is inspirational.
What I'm Taking With Me
- After all of Salbi's declarations of love towards Amjad Atallah, they divorced in 2007, how can I believe in true love now?
- I have so many questions about Iraq, I've got to do more reading
- Salbi is very aware of how privileged she is and in many ways, that makes this book even more fascinating as she struggles to combine her experiences with Saddam Hussein and his own actions against her people.
------------
I simply can't believe that Iraq is so close to Israel, that the stories of this book happened not very far from my own home. Review to come!
September 20, 2021
I was intrigued by the title and the description and, having completed it, I was not disappointed. The author provides a first-hand account of what life was like in Iraq while Saddam Hussein was in power; and, she and her family knew him personally. In fact, her father was Saddam Hussein's pilot. The book documents the author's personal journey growing up in Iraq, having to attend parties and other functions put on by SH, trying not to cause any waves that could have serious consequences. It was a really intimate look at her life and how she managed to survive the effects of three wars as well and then help other women who had gone through even worse things than she experienced. Zainab is one tough and impressive lady. I recommend this to anyone wanting to get a behind-the-scenes look at life for an Iraqi Muslim family. It may change some of your perceptions.
January 27, 2019
If I had stopped this book midway or threw it against a wall (which was impossible because I was listening to it), I would have given it one star. However, the second half sort of redeems the massive deception at the core of this book. Sort of.
Ms. Salbi has had a tough life--two failed marriage, including spousal abuse, her parents' divorce, and the trauma of immigration. But her family made a choice to abet and uphold Saddam Hussein. And I get that it was tough to be in his inner circle and that her immense privileges came at a cost--such as pride and dignity for her parents. I also get that she did not make the choice. But the costs of Saddam Hussen's reign were not born by the likes of Salbi's family. Her privileges were purchased by the blood of thousands. And no, it's not her fault. But what how would we treat a memoir of a person in Hitler's inner circle? Not as well as this one. I was on the other side of those bombs during the war. A lot of innocent people died at his hands. And so I am not all that interested in Salbi being uncomfortable around Saddam's daughters and their fashionable clothes.
The second half of the book, her immigration to America and her activism are well told. And at the very end of the book she drops a line about how she was privileged etc, but you don't get the sense that she believes. If she has humanized Iraqis for Americans (which her many TV appearances seem to indicate), that's great. But she is not a typical face of Iraq. She's western educated, secular, and wealthy. It's easy to feel bad for her because she shares more with wealthy Americans than Iraqis. But Oprah's gotta Oprah.
Ms. Salbi has had a tough life--two failed marriage, including spousal abuse, her parents' divorce, and the trauma of immigration. But her family made a choice to abet and uphold Saddam Hussein. And I get that it was tough to be in his inner circle and that her immense privileges came at a cost--such as pride and dignity for her parents. I also get that she did not make the choice. But the costs of Saddam Hussen's reign were not born by the likes of Salbi's family. Her privileges were purchased by the blood of thousands. And no, it's not her fault. But what how would we treat a memoir of a person in Hitler's inner circle? Not as well as this one. I was on the other side of those bombs during the war. A lot of innocent people died at his hands. And so I am not all that interested in Salbi being uncomfortable around Saddam's daughters and their fashionable clothes.
The second half of the book, her immigration to America and her activism are well told. And at the very end of the book she drops a line about how she was privileged etc, but you don't get the sense that she believes. If she has humanized Iraqis for Americans (which her many TV appearances seem to indicate), that's great. But she is not a typical face of Iraq. She's western educated, secular, and wealthy. It's easy to feel bad for her because she shares more with wealthy Americans than Iraqis. But Oprah's gotta Oprah.
August 2, 2010
This was a hard book to read. First of all, I hate reading sad books full of suffering - particularly if it is true. Second, throughout the entire book until Salbi's journey to the US, I felt a constant dread as I read about her life. I trust that is just a small taste of her constant fear while growing up in the shadow of Saddam Hussein. Third, I read far too much about rape and war and horrendous suffering. I do not know why I am still astonished at the evil that goes on in this world and how truly oblivious I am to most of it. I am grateful and ashamed.
I am glad to have read this book - if only to bear witness to Salbi's story. I never realized just how similar Salbi's privileged childhood in Iraq resembled life in the US. I always assumed that Iraq has always been backwards and war-torn. How arrogant and stupid that view seems to me now. (Not that I am an expert by any means on Iraq now.)
It pains me to have read this and to now hold these stories within me. But I also witnessed beauty and the triumph of Salbi, her healing, and the shining love of Salbi's mother and father and brothers.
Once again, I am grateful that my life is so easy and good and full of joy. I pray that my children and I will never experience the depth of pain and suffering that Salbi and her people have.
I am glad to have read this book - if only to bear witness to Salbi's story. I never realized just how similar Salbi's privileged childhood in Iraq resembled life in the US. I always assumed that Iraq has always been backwards and war-torn. How arrogant and stupid that view seems to me now. (Not that I am an expert by any means on Iraq now.)
It pains me to have read this and to now hold these stories within me. But I also witnessed beauty and the triumph of Salbi, her healing, and the shining love of Salbi's mother and father and brothers.
Once again, I am grateful that my life is so easy and good and full of joy. I pray that my children and I will never experience the depth of pain and suffering that Salbi and her people have.
December 7, 2009
This woman is the daughter of the man who was Saddam Hussein's pilot, so she grew up in close contact with this sociopathic dictator. Later, she started an organization called womenforwomen.org that gives job training to women who have lost everything in war. She is AMAZING, a personal hero. You will not be able to put this book down!
May 31, 2009
Between Two Worlds by Zainab Salbi was the first account I have read by someone who personally knew and socialized with Saddam. Her book is a wrenching description of the horrors she and her family experienced in their "privileged" position as friends of Saddam. It's a very worthwhile account.
I'm struck by the parallels between Zainab Salbi and Fatima Shihabi, the heroine of my novel A Thousand Veils. Almost identical in age, both women were only daughters in loving Shiite families. Both bonded at an early age with their fathers. Yet, both were victims of abusive marriages. Both in their own ways had to escape Saddam's clutches. Eventually they overcame these setbacks to emerge as strong, resilient women.
Even so, certain aspects of their personal stories were markedly different. Unlike Zainab, who grew up in a secular family in cosmopolitan Baghdad, Fatima was raised in the conservative religiosity of the Holy City of Najaf. Fatima had to take the veil at the age of 12, even as Zainab was trying to fit in to the "cool" culture of her socially precocious classmates. Just as Zainab was leaving Iraq for a safer, more settled life in the US, Fatima was arriving in Baghdad to live with her brother's prominent family. While Zainab was in the US, Fatima experienced the horrible conditions of Iraq during the 90s - the nightly bombings during the First Gulf War, the terrible privation as a result of the UN sanctions, and Saddam's repression of Shiites and intellectuals.
Compared side by side, these two books are very complementary in their detailed accounts of life under Saddam. And, more importantly for students of Islam in the West, they show the subtlely different shades of Islam, even within the same country and the same sect.
I'm struck by the parallels between Zainab Salbi and Fatima Shihabi, the heroine of my novel A Thousand Veils. Almost identical in age, both women were only daughters in loving Shiite families. Both bonded at an early age with their fathers. Yet, both were victims of abusive marriages. Both in their own ways had to escape Saddam's clutches. Eventually they overcame these setbacks to emerge as strong, resilient women.
Even so, certain aspects of their personal stories were markedly different. Unlike Zainab, who grew up in a secular family in cosmopolitan Baghdad, Fatima was raised in the conservative religiosity of the Holy City of Najaf. Fatima had to take the veil at the age of 12, even as Zainab was trying to fit in to the "cool" culture of her socially precocious classmates. Just as Zainab was leaving Iraq for a safer, more settled life in the US, Fatima was arriving in Baghdad to live with her brother's prominent family. While Zainab was in the US, Fatima experienced the horrible conditions of Iraq during the 90s - the nightly bombings during the First Gulf War, the terrible privation as a result of the UN sanctions, and Saddam's repression of Shiites and intellectuals.
Compared side by side, these two books are very complementary in their detailed accounts of life under Saddam. And, more importantly for students of Islam in the West, they show the subtlely different shades of Islam, even within the same country and the same sect.
February 5, 2017
Saw the author (Zainab Salbi) interviews in a documentary "Faces of Evil", the Saddam Hussein episode. Was intrigued.
The book doesn't disappoint. I can't imagine growing up in that type of oppressed and terrifying environment. The book is well written and keeps the reader captivated and wanting to know more. Unless you lived under Saddam's rule and evilness you can only speculate what took place and on day to day. Nobody was safe from him, nobody. There are some unwritten events that the reader is free is guess at, and other written events that triggered my memory of what happened during that time period. The author overcame great hardship and some very bad experiences which helped her get involved in Women's Rights all over the world.
Glad I read this book and do recommend this book!
4.5 stars and 2 thumbs up.
The book doesn't disappoint. I can't imagine growing up in that type of oppressed and terrifying environment. The book is well written and keeps the reader captivated and wanting to know more. Unless you lived under Saddam's rule and evilness you can only speculate what took place and on day to day. Nobody was safe from him, nobody. There are some unwritten events that the reader is free is guess at, and other written events that triggered my memory of what happened during that time period. The author overcame great hardship and some very bad experiences which helped her get involved in Women's Rights all over the world.
Glad I read this book and do recommend this book!
4.5 stars and 2 thumbs up.
January 11, 2015
I would not have read this memoir but for my world books challenge, and that would have been a loss, because it is a fascinating book.
Zainab Salbi grew up in a prosperous and well-connected Iraqi family in the 1970s and 1980s – as it turned out, they were too well-connected, because Saddam Hussein was determined to keep her parents and, by extension, the whole family, in his orbit. I initially assumed that the title, “Between Two Worlds,” referenced the author’s immigration from Iraq to the United States, but when this phrase is used within the book, it’s actually to refer to Salbi’s feeling of being caught between two worlds within Iraqi society: between the dictator’s elite inner circle and the regular middle-class world that he terrorized. She and her family shuttle between the two, spending weekends in one of the palace compounds and playing their prescribed roles at official events (a performance, in which they can't afford to ever let the façade drop), and weekdays in their own neighborhood, where Salbi can't let on to friends that she knew Saddam as “Uncle.”
Although most of this book takes place under a bloody dictatorship, and some of it during wartime, it’s not a violent story – and yet, we see how Salbi and her family are torn apart by the constant fear, stress, and need to pretend in order to protect themselves. One of the questions she wrestles with throughout the book is why Iraqis allowed such an oppressive regime, and more specifically, why her parents stayed, knowing what a dangerous situation they put themselves and their children in. She compares it to an abusive relationship – at first they thought they could handle it, and then they were in too far and afraid to leave – and that’s not a comparison Salbi makes lightly, because in the course of extricating herself from her childhood she also experiences interpersonal abuse. But she is an immensely strong person who is able to extricate herself from ugly situations and ultimately help others.
So I found this to be an enthralling story, from the details of life in Iraq under Saddam’s rule to the author’s personal journey of healing and self-discovery. In general I am leery of ghostwritten books (I assume that as “collaborator,” journalist Laurie Becklund did most of the writing), but here the collaboration appears successful: the writing feels personal and immediate, with Becklund’s contributions presumably being the clear and readable style and organization. At the same time, it's written with a good dose of self-awareness; Salbi recognizes that many other people were worse off than she, and she deals fairly with people who turned out to be unsavory.
At any rate, this is another win for reading outside my natural comfort zone (my comfort zone is expanding). Recommended.
Zainab Salbi grew up in a prosperous and well-connected Iraqi family in the 1970s and 1980s – as it turned out, they were too well-connected, because Saddam Hussein was determined to keep her parents and, by extension, the whole family, in his orbit. I initially assumed that the title, “Between Two Worlds,” referenced the author’s immigration from Iraq to the United States, but when this phrase is used within the book, it’s actually to refer to Salbi’s feeling of being caught between two worlds within Iraqi society: between the dictator’s elite inner circle and the regular middle-class world that he terrorized. She and her family shuttle between the two, spending weekends in one of the palace compounds and playing their prescribed roles at official events (a performance, in which they can't afford to ever let the façade drop), and weekdays in their own neighborhood, where Salbi can't let on to friends that she knew Saddam as “Uncle.”
Although most of this book takes place under a bloody dictatorship, and some of it during wartime, it’s not a violent story – and yet, we see how Salbi and her family are torn apart by the constant fear, stress, and need to pretend in order to protect themselves. One of the questions she wrestles with throughout the book is why Iraqis allowed such an oppressive regime, and more specifically, why her parents stayed, knowing what a dangerous situation they put themselves and their children in. She compares it to an abusive relationship – at first they thought they could handle it, and then they were in too far and afraid to leave – and that’s not a comparison Salbi makes lightly, because in the course of extricating herself from her childhood she also experiences interpersonal abuse. But she is an immensely strong person who is able to extricate herself from ugly situations and ultimately help others.
So I found this to be an enthralling story, from the details of life in Iraq under Saddam’s rule to the author’s personal journey of healing and self-discovery. In general I am leery of ghostwritten books (I assume that as “collaborator,” journalist Laurie Becklund did most of the writing), but here the collaboration appears successful: the writing feels personal and immediate, with Becklund’s contributions presumably being the clear and readable style and organization. At the same time, it's written with a good dose of self-awareness; Salbi recognizes that many other people were worse off than she, and she deals fairly with people who turned out to be unsavory.
At any rate, this is another win for reading outside my natural comfort zone (my comfort zone is expanding). Recommended.
June 14, 2017
Salbi’s story of growing up in Saddam Hussein’s Iraq was tough to read, but also tough to put down.
She shares her life story of growing up in his shadow, as the book’s title explains. It wasn’t a story of growing up around Hussein, but a story about Salbi and her time both in and outside Iraq.
Hussein was able to completely manipulate an entire country through the use of terror. His power came from fear. More than half of the book is the story of adults being so scared that they forget how to make their own decisions.
Because of her family’s proximity to Hussein, they had to make themselves available to him whenever he called on them and live the life he wanted them to live.
This story does a great job of letting us live the life of an affluent family in Iraq at that time.
However, Salbi explains her family’s relationship with Hussein as, somehow, different than any other affluent family that was in his inner circle. She says that, to everyone else in the country, she was an outsider because her family was “Friends of Saddam.” Within Hussein’s inner circle, she considered her family outsiders, as well. While she may believe that is true, I find it hard to believe that the people her family spent the most time with saw them as outsiders.
Understandably, she seems to have trouble coping with her relationship with Hussein. She goes back and forth when she talks about how she felt. She describes knowing two different versions of Saddam Hussein. She makes comments about hating him as a child and young adult but also tells stories about how she had fun with him or while in his company. So I wonder if her recollection of hatred is real, or only hindsight.
In all, an excellent book with a story that helped me view the world from a different perspective.
She shares her life story of growing up in his shadow, as the book’s title explains. It wasn’t a story of growing up around Hussein, but a story about Salbi and her time both in and outside Iraq.
Hussein was able to completely manipulate an entire country through the use of terror. His power came from fear. More than half of the book is the story of adults being so scared that they forget how to make their own decisions.
Because of her family’s proximity to Hussein, they had to make themselves available to him whenever he called on them and live the life he wanted them to live.
This story does a great job of letting us live the life of an affluent family in Iraq at that time.
However, Salbi explains her family’s relationship with Hussein as, somehow, different than any other affluent family that was in his inner circle. She says that, to everyone else in the country, she was an outsider because her family was “Friends of Saddam.” Within Hussein’s inner circle, she considered her family outsiders, as well. While she may believe that is true, I find it hard to believe that the people her family spent the most time with saw them as outsiders.
Understandably, she seems to have trouble coping with her relationship with Hussein. She goes back and forth when she talks about how she felt. She describes knowing two different versions of Saddam Hussein. She makes comments about hating him as a child and young adult but also tells stories about how she had fun with him or while in his company. So I wonder if her recollection of hatred is real, or only hindsight.
In all, an excellent book with a story that helped me view the world from a different perspective.
August 13, 2011
I loved this book. Zainab Salbi is a fascinating and inspirational woman. She gives us a look into the inner circle of Saddam Hussein in Iraq starting from when he became president. As the daughter of his one-time private pilot, Zainab gives us an intimate glimpse inside his palaces, his social life, his corruption, his violence, his control of all those around him, his (and his son's)treatment of women and all facets of life in his inner circle of "friends" as she grows up to become a teenager in a country and a lifestyle that is going through changes that include wars, ethnic cleansing and rape of women. Throughout the telling of her story she doesn't shy away from describing the horror she witnessed and at times endured, but also lets us see some of the touching interactions between family and friends. She escaped much of the hardship in Iraq by relocating to the US for an arranged marriage that turned out badly for her. Her inner conflicts about her parents and the decisions they made in Iraq are beautifully expressed. Eventually as she matures and learns more about the pressures that were put on her parents by Saddam she understands them and is able to calm her inner turmoil. She founded Women for Women International which helps women around the world who suffer from war and oppressive regimes.
March 26, 2014
This is one of the most inspiring books I've ever read, and I loved it even though I don't usually get super jazzed about inspiring stuff. Zainab Salbi grew up in Iraq under Saddam Hussein, and her parents were reluctantly drawn into his inner circle. The dictator tore her country and family apart, but Salbi showed him who's really boss by growing up to found a successful non-profit called Women for Women International.
There are so many interesting details about Iraqi culture in this book, and many heartrending stories of people being ground down by war. Salbi doesn't sugar coat anything, and she doesn't put a shiny veneer on the ending to make it look like the world is wrapped in a neat peaceful box. But she does manage to project hope through the personal closure she finds in her own life and family.
To be honest, it's not the best-written memoir I've ever read. The first half of the book reads like a handful of memories rather than a continuously flowing story, and there are occasional cliché touches throughout. But I was inspired and touched by Zainab Salbi's strength and her choices in the face of oppression. She deserves 10 stars.
(I couldn't help but think of Ayaan Hirsi Ali's memoir, Infidel, as I was reading this. Their stories are not really that similar, but very interesting to compare/contrast.)
There are so many interesting details about Iraqi culture in this book, and many heartrending stories of people being ground down by war. Salbi doesn't sugar coat anything, and she doesn't put a shiny veneer on the ending to make it look like the world is wrapped in a neat peaceful box. But she does manage to project hope through the personal closure she finds in her own life and family.
To be honest, it's not the best-written memoir I've ever read. The first half of the book reads like a handful of memories rather than a continuously flowing story, and there are occasional cliché touches throughout. But I was inspired and touched by Zainab Salbi's strength and her choices in the face of oppression. She deserves 10 stars.
(I couldn't help but think of Ayaan Hirsi Ali's memoir, Infidel, as I was reading this. Their stories are not really that similar, but very interesting to compare/contrast.)
October 12, 2016
I'm conflicted on how to rate this book. I enjoyed her personal, inside story of such a significant part of recent history. Gaining perspective on what it was like to be a woman in Iraq during those tumultuous years as well as a witness to all of the changes that country has experienced in th east 50 years was eye opening. The initial part of the book dragged a bit and, at the risk of sounding unsympathetic, towards the end of the book I started to think, "What a whiner!" I know, I know! But I felt bad for her parents! They were in an impossible situation and did the best that they could under the circumstances. She had so much privilege, so many more opportunities than the women she is now championing, it started to make her unsympathetic to this reader. Also she was critical of sanctions on Iraq as well as the military action. What did she want the world to do to get rid of this evil dictator??? Send him a strongly worded letter?
January 13, 2024
Incredible, haunting. A side of a despot, of Iraq, that I could never imagine I'd experience, except for books. That's really why books are so incredible, for transplanting us into worlds far beyond our own.
I was so hooked by this book that it took me 50 or so pages to realize that it was an autobiography. Nonfiction is rarely so compelling, but I couldn't take my eyes off the page. Its content was disturbing and upsetting, but I'm still left with hope because I feel like I can do something about it. I highly recommend as a read for everyone - women are the silent victims of war, and this book illuminated that so beautifully.
I was so hooked by this book that it took me 50 or so pages to realize that it was an autobiography. Nonfiction is rarely so compelling, but I couldn't take my eyes off the page. Its content was disturbing and upsetting, but I'm still left with hope because I feel like I can do something about it. I highly recommend as a read for everyone - women are the silent victims of war, and this book illuminated that so beautifully.
July 6, 2018
After Zainab Salbi had gotten together with her husband, they discussed what they would do if someone were to say to one of them, "kill this person or I'll kill your wife/husband." Salbi had been working in war zones and this wasn't just a purely academic question. They decided that at some point someone has to say "no" and made a pact that they wouldn't kill anyone, even if it meant their wife/husband would be killed or hurt.
Zainab Salbi lived through a lot of psychological damage. Her parents were forced to be friends with Saddam Hussein. It was like an abusive marriage, where people outside might ask why they didn't just leave. Part of the issue was that if her parents had taken the kids and left, their other family members would have suffered for it. Salbi had to pretend to love Saddam Hussein, to be excited to spend time with him, even when she was afraid of him. I don't think she knew as a kid that he was a murderer, but she knew he was dangerous and that expressing any kind of displeasure about him would be putting her whole family in danger.
Zainab Salbi lived through a lot of psychological damage. Her parents were forced to be friends with Saddam Hussein. It was like an abusive marriage, where people outside might ask why they didn't just leave. Part of the issue was that if her parents had taken the kids and left, their other family members would have suffered for it. Salbi had to pretend to love Saddam Hussein, to be excited to spend time with him, even when she was afraid of him. I don't think she knew as a kid that he was a murderer, but she knew he was dangerous and that expressing any kind of displeasure about him would be putting her whole family in danger.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 19, 2017
Zainab Salbi, and her family grew up as part of Saddam Hussein's (Amo) inner circle and lived in a Hussein's compound.
pg 24: Today, the principal theological difference between the two sects is that Shia theologians tend to accept the necessity of continuously applying independent reasoning to contemporary life while Sunni Theologians are more comfortable relying on doctrines established centuries ago by religious scholars who established 4 different schools of Sunni thought.
pg 207: Amjad's adviser, Dr Sachedina was the imam, who was to perform our Islamic wedding and help with the marriage contract. Amjad and I had already discussed the dowry and had agreed that it was to be symbolic, a single gold coin from Jerusalem. "Zainab, you have a lot more rights to discuss besides the dowry, Zainab. You need to put down all your conditions." ...People don't know Islamic law, and they assume cultural practices stem from Islam. When a woman marries in Islam, she has the right to stipulate all the conditions she wants to have in her marriage. Then, the husband needs to sign if he agrees to those conditions. This is your chance to put in whatever conditions you choose as part of your contract for marrying Amjad. Anything I want? Anything from the kind of lifestyle you want to the way you want to raise your children. A kind of prenuptial agreement.
Here's my computer, Zainub..."Just type in all your conditions for the marriage contract, and if Amjad agrees, they're binding. Good luck.
She types: "You may not stop me from pursuing any career or educational path."
"You must share with me all household duties fifty-fifty. You must do half the cooking, you must do half the cleaning..."
"I want to share the right to initiate divorce."
Changes to the Islamic marriage contract are allowed after you are married.
Zainub makes a decision to become a "strong woman" instead of a "good wife."
Congratulations Zainab Salbi, you seem to be well on your way to reaching Maslow's self-actualization peak.
pg 24: Today, the principal theological difference between the two sects is that Shia theologians tend to accept the necessity of continuously applying independent reasoning to contemporary life while Sunni Theologians are more comfortable relying on doctrines established centuries ago by religious scholars who established 4 different schools of Sunni thought.
pg 207: Amjad's adviser, Dr Sachedina was the imam, who was to perform our Islamic wedding and help with the marriage contract. Amjad and I had already discussed the dowry and had agreed that it was to be symbolic, a single gold coin from Jerusalem. "Zainab, you have a lot more rights to discuss besides the dowry, Zainab. You need to put down all your conditions." ...People don't know Islamic law, and they assume cultural practices stem from Islam. When a woman marries in Islam, she has the right to stipulate all the conditions she wants to have in her marriage. Then, the husband needs to sign if he agrees to those conditions. This is your chance to put in whatever conditions you choose as part of your contract for marrying Amjad. Anything I want? Anything from the kind of lifestyle you want to the way you want to raise your children. A kind of prenuptial agreement.
Here's my computer, Zainub..."Just type in all your conditions for the marriage contract, and if Amjad agrees, they're binding. Good luck.
She types: "You may not stop me from pursuing any career or educational path."
"You must share with me all household duties fifty-fifty. You must do half the cooking, you must do half the cleaning..."
"I want to share the right to initiate divorce."
Changes to the Islamic marriage contract are allowed after you are married.
Zainub makes a decision to become a "strong woman" instead of a "good wife."
Congratulations Zainab Salbi, you seem to be well on your way to reaching Maslow's self-actualization peak.
September 19, 2010
Zainab Salbi was the daughter of Saddam Hussein's pilot. By being his pilot he was now part of Saddam's "inner circle" and because of that his family has to follow suit. Zainab was just a young girl when she was made to call Saddam "Amo", which meant uncle. Through his tyranny, he expected people to show their affection for him by forcing them to give him gifts of gold, kiss him, call him endearing names and be at his beck and call, which included rape if he so desired. Zainab's parents were very loving, and it was that love for her and fear of Saddam that forced her mother to make a mistake that would plunge Zainab into a hell even she did not know under Saddam's regime. Her emotional journey from childhood to womanhood led her on her path to start an organization called Women for Women International, an organization that empowers women victims of war, to not only survive their ordeal, but to become whole again. Zainab turned her family's oppressive life experiences into a positive action. A few months back I joined WFWI and am now sponsoring a woman in Rwanda. It was particularly interesting for me to see how this organization came to be. Through the eyes of a frightened child, a confused teenager and then an abused woman, Zainab Salbi rose to the top and turned it all around for herself and other victims.
November 2, 2011
zainab salbi is one of my heroes. she founded the non-profit women for women international, an organization through which you can sponsor a woman for a year in a war torn country. women tend to be the the fields upon which war is waged, their bodies become the battlefield and use of rape as a systemic weapon of war not only tears apart women, both physically and emotionally, but also entire communities. salbi's program offers woman a chance to put their lives back together and empowers them to speak out against the wrong that has been done to them, as well as giving them counseling and job skills training to help them live again.
but i'm getting off track...salbi's memoir really focuses on her own story, one she had been ashamed to tell in spite of encouraging other women victims to make their voices heard. she opens up about growing up in iraq during saddam's rise to power. her parents were chosen by saddam to be part of his inner circle--an invitation they could not refuse. from the time she was a toddler, zanaib was raised in a culture of fear and control. it's a fascinating personal account of someone who lived close to a dictator. at its heart this is a book about parents and children, and how painful it can be for a child when she doesn't feel her parents are protecting her. i found her emotional journey inspiring and redemptive.
but i'm getting off track...salbi's memoir really focuses on her own story, one she had been ashamed to tell in spite of encouraging other women victims to make their voices heard. she opens up about growing up in iraq during saddam's rise to power. her parents were chosen by saddam to be part of his inner circle--an invitation they could not refuse. from the time she was a toddler, zanaib was raised in a culture of fear and control. it's a fascinating personal account of someone who lived close to a dictator. at its heart this is a book about parents and children, and how painful it can be for a child when she doesn't feel her parents are protecting her. i found her emotional journey inspiring and redemptive.
June 24, 2015
About a year ago I met a former LA Times reporter and got to know her briefly as she gallantly fought the battle for her life with advanced breast cancer. Laurie Becklund came to me to help her research information about the over all fight against advanced breast cancer, and why so much effort went into prevention, and catching the disease early, but not much went into turning back the advancing disease.
Our encounters were brief, but detailed enough to expose kindred spirits. Having just lost a dear friend to breast cancer I was eager to work with her on her investigations. Unfortunately after just a few encounters I stopped seeing her. Fearing the worst I googled and discovered a wonderful obituary at http://www.latimes.com/local/obituari... .
Seeing I could no longer get get to know her in person I wanted to experience her writing. The only item of her writing that was available in a format I could easily read (I can't turn pages easily) was this book.
This book was a product of her work as a reporter, and it was a wonderful choice of subjects. It exposes the dichotomy of what was the Iraqi society in the time of Saddam through the eyes of women of privelege. Privelage in this case is a double edged sword and thus the quality of this memior.
Thank you Laurie for exposing me to this story.
Our encounters were brief, but detailed enough to expose kindred spirits. Having just lost a dear friend to breast cancer I was eager to work with her on her investigations. Unfortunately after just a few encounters I stopped seeing her. Fearing the worst I googled and discovered a wonderful obituary at http://www.latimes.com/local/obituari... .
Seeing I could no longer get get to know her in person I wanted to experience her writing. The only item of her writing that was available in a format I could easily read (I can't turn pages easily) was this book.
This book was a product of her work as a reporter, and it was a wonderful choice of subjects. It exposes the dichotomy of what was the Iraqi society in the time of Saddam through the eyes of women of privelege. Privelage in this case is a double edged sword and thus the quality of this memior.
Thank you Laurie for exposing me to this story.
April 30, 2015
This book progresses much like the author's life does: it starts out mild--the danger of Saddam's Iraq lurks beneath the surface, coloring the background--and gets harder and harder to endure as the despicable cleverness of his manipulation and the cruelty and violence and psychopathic behavior is unveiled. I thought I knew a lot about Iraq, but I only knew post-Saddam Iraq. This was an introduction to a whole other horrific world: the world of being a "friend" of Saddam. The horror was no less real for the veneer of friendship.
One gets so accustomed to the vague fact of tyrants. They become like cartoon villains in our minds, because their actions were so outrageous we think only a caricature could REALLY be like that. But Saddam really was like that.
Parts of this book were hard to get through and the author talks about the victimization and rape of women in a variety of countries, since she started an organization that helps women who have been systematically victimized during war. It will break your heart, and probably make you want to look up her NGO and find out if you can get involved.
One gets so accustomed to the vague fact of tyrants. They become like cartoon villains in our minds, because their actions were so outrageous we think only a caricature could REALLY be like that. But Saddam really was like that.
Parts of this book were hard to get through and the author talks about the victimization and rape of women in a variety of countries, since she started an organization that helps women who have been systematically victimized during war. It will break your heart, and probably make you want to look up her NGO and find out if you can get involved.
June 25, 2011
Extraordinary. What I particularly like is that the age of the author almost syncs with my own and I can reflect on where I was, in cushy misguided USA, when her country was at war. And despite the different techniques and styles, Salbi's story coincides with Persipolis, which also follows a young coming-of-age girl with progressive parents dealing with a war--the same war--but on the opposite side. For someone who grew up completely confused by the Gulf and their leaders, this book provided me with a thorough and personal perspective of what was happening to Iraq's people. Granted, the author admits that she was privileged, but the ironic and horrific truth is this made life harder, draining, more intense, and sad.
February 21, 2018
Multiple facets of a terrible circumstance unrevealed with utmost emotion! The book is filled with rapes and manipulations, that leads me to question the status quo - have we become better? have we lost motivation to improve because we are just a bit better? are we really better now and here?
October 1, 2007
An extremly touching read about a woman's life in Iraq whose family was very close to Saddaam Hussein. It's sad sometimes to think, all we know about Iraq and what we feel about it lies largely in our own selfish presense there. All of our soliders being killed, our economy's money being spent there etc. But what of the people of Iraq? The kind of suffering they have gone through prior to any American troops setting foot on their soil. I truly think that book's such as these, should become required reading in public schools, especially since Islamic cultures is hitting so much closer to home in these past few years.
December 4, 2007
I learned so much from this book. I really have never understood what is going on over in Iraq/Iran, but haven't really known how to find out. This book, while entertaining me, helped me understand so much about the middle east and the conflicts there. What an eye opener. People there are just like you and me! (should of already known that).
I changed my rating to two stars, because towards the end of the book there is a part in which very foul language is used. I'm disappointed and not sure what to think, because she is esentially quoting someone when she uses those words, but I still don't like to read it.
I changed my rating to two stars, because towards the end of the book there is a part in which very foul language is used. I'm disappointed and not sure what to think, because she is esentially quoting someone when she uses those words, but I still don't like to read it.
July 3, 2009
*Warning: Following comments are politically charged.
Anyone who thinks the war in Iraq was wrong needs to read this book. I have believed from the beginning that Saddam Hussein needed to be taken out of power and that the Iraqi people needed to be liberated from tyranny. I especially believe that it is the responsibility for those in a better position to help those who cannot help themselves. While I may not agree with everything that took place with the war, I do believe that our world is a better place now that Saddam Hussein is not in it. This book, written by the daughter of Saddam's pilot, proves that same point. I would highly recommend it to all.
Anyone who thinks the war in Iraq was wrong needs to read this book. I have believed from the beginning that Saddam Hussein needed to be taken out of power and that the Iraqi people needed to be liberated from tyranny. I especially believe that it is the responsibility for those in a better position to help those who cannot help themselves. While I may not agree with everything that took place with the war, I do believe that our world is a better place now that Saddam Hussein is not in it. This book, written by the daughter of Saddam's pilot, proves that same point. I would highly recommend it to all.
Want to read
July 9, 2008My mom read this book and then sent me this email:
I recently read Between Two Worlds and it has moved me to sponsor a women in a war torn country via the organization that this author, Zainab Salbi, started. I will be matched with my "sister" within 4 weeks. The cost is $27/month and provides women with the tools for financial independence and emotional survival. Rape is a very common war sport that is not often talked about.
Join me in sponsoring a woman survivor of war. Sign up online today at: http://www.womenforwomen.org
I should sign up for this after my Moveon.org monthly contribution ends after the Election.
I recently read Between Two Worlds and it has moved me to sponsor a women in a war torn country via the organization that this author, Zainab Salbi, started. I will be matched with my "sister" within 4 weeks. The cost is $27/month and provides women with the tools for financial independence and emotional survival. Rape is a very common war sport that is not often talked about.
Join me in sponsoring a woman survivor of war. Sign up online today at: http://www.womenforwomen.org
I should sign up for this after my Moveon.org monthly contribution ends after the Election.
August 24, 2013
Very few books have affected me like this one has. I finished it with a sad, sick feeling in my stomach. My father was in Vietnam and I heard about some of the horrors that happened there. So I thought I knew of some of the awful things going on in the world. I quickly realized that I don't have a clue. And this made me ashamed and sooo very thankful that I was born in the USA. No things are not perfect here, but close to it compared to what some have to endure and live through.
This book was an eye opener for me. I can't get some of the stories out of my head. Makes me want to do something to help change things. I highly recommend it.
This book was an eye opener for me. I can't get some of the stories out of my head. Makes me want to do something to help change things. I highly recommend it.
June 24, 2014
Amazing book!!
This author wrote a very touching and insightful book.I really enjoyed reading about her childhood, and learning about Iraqi culture. It really provided a different perspective and insight to a culture that I know very little of, other than what is televised by the media or written in the newspaper. Salbi's advocacy for women around the world was truly inspiring.
Anyone even remotely interested in culture,the struggle for equality, women's rights, or close examination of a dictator's life should give this book a read!
I am so grateful she wrote this and feel as though I have learned so much from this author.
This author wrote a very touching and insightful book.I really enjoyed reading about her childhood, and learning about Iraqi culture. It really provided a different perspective and insight to a culture that I know very little of, other than what is televised by the media or written in the newspaper. Salbi's advocacy for women around the world was truly inspiring.
Anyone even remotely interested in culture,the struggle for equality, women's rights, or close examination of a dictator's life should give this book a read!
I am so grateful she wrote this and feel as though I have learned so much from this author.
February 10, 2017
A very interesting woman who has used her experiences in life to help other women around the world survive after war, rape, and violence. I admire her very much. I found her story, though well written, revealing nothing new about the Iraqi regime that she grew up with. Her experiences as a child are naive and it's not until she is an adult and aware of what is going on around her that I am able to glean some information from the story that I didn't know before.
March 7, 2009
This memoir portrays the subtle way that Saddam Hussein managed to control his people as he strengthened his control in Iraq. Zainab's family was part of Saddam's inner circle--not by choice, but out of fear. Her father was Saddam's pilot. Her story and eventual escape to the United States gives a picture of what life was really like in Iraq under the Hussein regime.
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